Received Thursday, January 11, 2007
This latest incident has occurred on Tuesday, January 9th, 2006 around 6pm. However, this treatment has been going on from about October 2006, until now I didn't know if I should say anything, however, I think
something should be said. This happens around 6pm at the 63 bus stop in Park Slope, Brooklyn; the bus stop is on 5th Avenue between 2nd and 3rd Streets. The nanny and child take the bus from that location and get off of the bus just before we cross Flatbush Avenue. I think the childs name is Jules or Julian. He is about 3-4 years old, blond hair, wears a yellow down jacket with a hood and this Tuesday had on navy blue nylon mittens. He has a black stroller which looks to be new. The nanny is African American with braids that are cornrowed back in a ponytail and has a disfigured upper lip (possibly a reconstructed cleft pallet) She is chunky and about 20-24 years old.
I have been watching these two like I said since October. At first what bothered me was the fact that the nanny never interacted with the child, she just spoke at him, and she also spent quite a bit of time on her phone. Then I noticed that she would hardly ever assist him with finding a seat or getting into a seat on the bus. On several occasions, as the bus was pulling off he would start to fall and strangers would help him. She doesn’t hold his hand or anything. On a few occasions I offered up a seat for the child. She also doesn’t help him off the bus, which is very dangerous given the gap between the street and the bus. This past Tuesday it was FREEZING and she didn’t have his hood on. His nose was running profusely. She turned her back on him and walked towards a store and when she was several feet away she asked him to come her, all of this while she is having a conversation on her phone. On her way out of the store, she doesn’t even hold the door properly for him to walk out and I was nervous that he would squeeze his finger given the way he exited the door. She then gets on the bus (mind you she is still on the phone) doesn’t secure a seat for him, someone else offered him a seat, she doesn’t help him with the seat and his nose is running. Another child mentioned this to their mother and that mother gave the boy a tissue for his nose. All while the nanny was STILL ON THE PHONE AND NOT PAYING ATTENTION!
That person could have given the child drugs or a food item that he was allergic to and she wouldn’t have even known. Then while still on the phone, she comes to her stop and doesn’t even help the boy off the bus.
She doesn’t seem abusive, just extremely NEGLIGENT. I wouldn’t want her watching my child.
54 comments:
Negligence can prove every bit as deadly as out-and-out abuse. I hope someone (the parent/parents or anyone who knows them) reads this, and that action is taken. That so-called caregiver has got to go!
so many caregivers have got to go. I see many people working as nannies that are just idiots. They don't care nothing about the kids. They just care about the dough. They spend days kissing butt to stay at home moms and go home and regal their friends with tales of dysfunction and abuse that makes people feel glad to live in the hood and away from all that!
Do know that some women choose up their nannies just so the nanny can always be beneath them. They actively recruit for illiterate, illegal and stupid caregivers just so they can feel pompous!
so many caregivers have got to go. I see many people working as nannies that are just idiots. They don't care nothing about the kids. They just care about the dough. They spend days kissing butt to stay at home moms and go home and regal their friends with tales of dysfunction and abuse that makes people feel glad to live in the hood and away from all that!
Do know that some women choose up their nannies just so the nanny can always be beneath them. They actively recruit for illiterate, illegal and stupid caregivers just so they can feel pompous!
jasie,if that is the case..are you available? "don't care nothing about the kids"?????
OP, are you a member of the Park Slope Parents Yahoo group? You might want to post there.
what does it matter if op belongs to park slope parents group at yahoo? do you know how many parent groups there are out there? How many park slop parents groups? better just to let parents know about this sight. So that they know where to report what they see and where to look. Beats having to sift through every parent board, cl, ub and bc to post bad nanny things.
What is ub and bc? I know cl is craig's list.
1105, are you just a little slow? If there is a possibility that a parent may look at a site specifically for their neighborhood, don't you think that someone should post there too? Maybe you object because the post is about you? Why else so defensive?
This is a very bad nanny. Hopefully the parents find out, and fire her useless butt.
OP, do you have any chance to follow them and find out where they are coming from? I'm sure not all parents know about sites like this. The childs saftey needs to come first, even if you would have to pull the phone off her damn ear and set her straight. Dramatic, but my concern if for the child.
you misread me entirely. I see things. I read things. And then I hope that more people know that there is a place to put these postings. Definitely email links to this post to every park slope sight. I just think it is better to have one place for these nanny sightings. On any given day, I am on three-seven parent blogs/boards/chats.
ub= urban baby (for byatches)
BC= Babycenter (for wusses)
CL= craigslist (for hoodrats)
why are you all getting so worked up about this post? This happens 99 times a day on every corner in the united states where nannies roam! Raise your own children. It's be stupid all there memries got to be with some paid helper and not with there moms and dads. If you cant handle to raise them on your own, get your nanny a good camera so she can take pictures for you so you can know about your kids childhood.
12:18- is there a reason you give a description for each of these sites? They seem rather harsh and unnecessary.
1:00am- Not all parents can afford to stay at home with their children. I find the way you approach this subject very evil and biased. Just because some people have to work for a living doesn't mean that they don't spend any time with, or are not close with their children. I am a nanny and I work full time for a great family. They don't get to stay home with their kids, but when they are home, they make the most of it. And when they are not, they have the luxury of having the next best thing- a loving and caring nanny. Get off your high horse.
The "get off your high horse" poster has got to go. Even though I totally agree with what she says- I cannot stand that saying!
Working mothers are smarter, savier and tremendous role models for their children. If you can have it all, why not?
Also, if you can have it all and still make the decision to stay home with your child- how wonderful for you and your child.
let's not Judge.
12:18 rather rudely responded to 11:51. Can't we all just get along?
Ugh...again you all go attacking each other, some in a barely literate way. Anyway, the focus here should be on this poor child and the moron getting paid to watch him. Such a young child needs constant supervision. This is New York, not Cornfield, Idaho. My son is 8 and I still hold his hand when we cross the street. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to pull him out of the way of a car that went through the red light or pulled into the crosswalk while we were walking through it. This child is not being treated well and not being cared for and I truly hope the parents find out about this post.
PS-I would NEVER, EVER, EVER hire a nanny. I knew that from the day I found out I was pregnant and this website just confirms my fears. Noone will care for your baby like you would.
I'm all for free choice and mothers should be free to work or not work as they choose. However, the comment that some mothers (who are married and hire nannies) HAVE to work is complete bull. Any couple that can afford a nanny can afford to live on one income. Its a matter of lifestyle choices. Unless you are in poverty, I guarantee I can find a family of four living just fine on 50% of your income. It may mean driving a Toyota instead of a BMW, living in a smaller house, eating in more and out less, or fewer vacations to Vail, but it certainly can be done. So it comes down to deciding what is more important to you: 1. See your children more and guarantee they are not being abused or neglected or 2. Drive a fancy car, live in a huge house, dine at fancy restaurants and vacation at expensive resorts.
I think people should have choices, but I know what mine is.
I have grown tired of being attacked for being a working woman with a nanny. I don't have a job, I have a career. My children are my number one priority. Before you make any headway trouncing working women with nannies, please go after the stay at home mothers with nannies. Or multiple nannies.
What are all the judgmental stay at home moms doing on this site anyway?
I think they bring kids in to their homes to watch them for a buck. That's the story I heard and that's the one I'm sticking with.
Lauren, I did not attack you or working mothers. I just pointed out that the "I have to work to make ends meet" arguement is most often not true. Married woman who say they would love to stay at home with their children, but can't afford to, are using this as an excuse to justify their selfish desire for material comfort or are deceiving themselves. They can stay at home if they are willing to accept a more modest lifestyle.
Your situation is different. You are saying you want to work because you enjoy your career. I think thats great. Either you have found a nanny who you believe gives your children equal or better care than you could provide personally, or you have decided your career satisfaction is more important than your children's developement. I'm sure in your case its the former, which is often the case if you find a great nanny. Also many career minded women would be depressed if they had to give up a career and that depression can have negative effects on the children.
However, it is hard to tell, particularly with very young children, if the woman who acts like a super-nanny in front of you is acting the same way when you aren't around.
And the stay-at-home/socialite women who have nannies are poor excuses for human beings. Why the hell did they have kids if they don't want to raise them? To show them off in pictures? To be able to shop for baby clothes?
12:44, you set up false dichotomies.
what in the hell is a dichotomie?
A dichotomie is a lesbian lover/SAHM. Sound it out. DUH!
ok i am the one who made this post, does it really matter who works at home or who has a career? fact of the matter is, people who have kids at one point or another are going to need childcare, our kids go to school, take private lessons etc. the people who we entrust to teach, take care of, play with our kids NEED TO BE POLICED. so stop bitching about this unessisary crap and if you know who the parent of this child is, TELL THEM.
BTW, it's dichotomy, and it means dividing something into two contradictory or opposing parts or opinions.
Yeah, 2:06, that dyke joke wasn't very funny. We don't need that here.
What Joke?
I thought she was refering to a classification into two opposed parts or subclasses, ie a dichotomy.
It sounds like 2:06 was trying for a play on the "dyke" syllable in dichotomy. dyke=lesbian? It wasn't a good joke, even if it hadn't been offensive.
6:00, let it go! You are the only one using that word.
(the incident in brooklyn) I understand that this person is trying to warn other parents for neglicence with their nannies, However, are u a stalker because it seem to me that u are rally monitoring this one african american nanny... I hope if you see a nanny doing a good deed and is an african american you boldly say so... Stupid what ever you are... Please don't try to take away a sister bread!!!! Mind your god damn biz...
to 9:05-
The next person that needs to be "monitored" is you!
905: how ignorant are you? EW!
duh sister bread
905, what's your story? Are you a nanny? If you feel that the nanny in the OP is doing her job, please, go to the Red Cross and take a BABYSITTING class. It's a really simple class that teaches basic child care. Because to me, the nanny posted here is BAD.
And 114, lame.
755, thank you. I wish people here would stop the whole working mom/SAHM, who's better than who. I chose to stay home with my son. I had a job, not a career. For us, it was the best decision. We have a nanny who comes in twice a week while I run errands or lunch with friends. Personally, I think that a child who has working parents who love their jobs are better off. A mom who has a career that sparks her passions is teaching her children a good work ethic. How many people come home and complain about their jobs? What does that teach children? I do think if the career is just a job, or if there are problems with the children adjusting, then decisions should be made. But if it isn't broken, why fix it? Why stay home if working, works?
Stop judging others until you've walked a mile in their shoes.
To 11:49am who wrote, "However, the comment that some mothers (who are married and hire nannies) HAVE to work is complete bull."
I have to disagree with you on this one. I don't think you take into consideration families in which the mother makes more then the father does, and in order for her to stay home, it would not be financially possible for her to stay home and live on the father's wages. Yes the father could stay home and they could still live okay, but that's a moot point because the discussion is about mother's staying at home. ( and if it was about father's staying at home, maybe the mother would prefer having a nanny with years of experience with children as opposed to the father staying at home and the possibility of him feeling as though he has no role in their joint income and causing marital problems) My point is that there are circumstances in which a family hires a nanny and it has nothing to do with the mother wanting to "drive a fancy car, live in a huge house, dine at fancy restaurants and vacation at expensive resorts". And one more point on this one is that in some families having a (good)nanny is a luxury that they are willing to sacrifice materialistic things instead of sending their child to daycare because if the mother knows she can't afford to stay home then she wants the next best thing which would be a loving and caring nanny. And believe it or not, there are some out there.
What a bunch of prima donnas we have here! Unbelieveable!
What many do not undersand is that there is a major difference between a baby sitter and a nanny. Many people are merely paying for adult supervision and not worried about the geniune attitude that these people have for their jobs. Also remember that you get what you pay for. Also as a reminder to many on this board. In the society that we live in it is very hard to provide an albiet decent life for a family of one child on one income especially in a major city.
I am a native New Yorker my husband andI are both college educated we make over 100,000 combined we have one child. In order for me to perform my functions at work and still provide as well as entertain myself I must work. I don't have a nanny I do have a great support system including my neighbor, my in-laws, my parents etc. I am blessed bu still. I know that if I want someone to pick my child up from swimming I can rely on my 19 yea old cousinbut if I want my child to develop his free throw I can call my brother in law.
This site is sad because it shows how competitive and vile people have made parenting into another competitive act. It shows how many are strongly considering cheap labor and forms of slavery to make their lives easier and that also the pettiness and rather Bossman mentality to watch over the staff and pick at the minute things they do.
No one will treat your child like their own unless it is the parent themselves. Don't look at nannies, au pairs and sitters and surrogate mothers. Look at them as a support system.
oh for the love of God, you are just a bit much! slavery? bossman?
Oh man, heeeeeeere we go!
Sh*t, meet the fan...
9:05:
You're kidding, right? We're supposed to overlook negligence if the person who is negligent is black?
I don't think 905 wants to play with the big dogs. Come on out, come play with us. What's your story?
susan,ever notice once you hit the blog with your "way off the subject comments" that the blogging ends? Get the hint?
Poor little guy... This isn't even a case of benign neglect; sounds like nanny can barely tolerate his presence! I'll bet, however, that she presents herself in a completely different manner to the parents. I think it's very important to question your children or read their "signals" about how their caregivers are interacting with them.
600, do you have a crush on susan? you seem to talk about her a lot....
susan why are you hiding behind "anonymous" .It is okay to stand up for yourself..you don't have to hide when doing so. Truth be told. I simply don't like you. You took this blog and tried to make rcial. Seems you always turn the blogs into a fight fest!
ok again, i am the original poster here. and to comment on 905; i am african american, west indian at that. my aunts were nannies, some lived in and some did not, i have cousins who are sitters, it is not about "trying to take a sistas bread". if i see a bad white, latino or asian nanny, i will post here as well. its not about color its about the KID. GIMME A BREAK ALREADY WITH THIS CRAP.
You must be nuts, honey. I'm not anonymous and I'm trying to start fights. I also didn't bring up the racial angle, someone else talking about "sista bread" did. Go back and read the thread.
3:09: She hangs out and waits days for me to show up. It's a beautiful relationship we have. LOL!
It did seem like a crush to me. ;) And I thought it was funny that posters here think they know who is who when comments are posted anonymous. I think a few of my posts have been credited to you. He he, makes me laugh every time. Like half the mom's here know squat. At least you and a few others make sense to me.
1218..you and your snotty friend,Susan are shameful! Atleast 6pm just comes out and answers your question honestly..you two are the petty ,know it all gossips on the street! Yikes..2 mrs .Kravits!!
Oh that's just fabulous!!"half the mom's here know squat" wth??...you are hiding behind anonymous and buddying up with susan..like you are so much better than everyone else blogging here! You have a lot of nerve! Both of you..you are snobs and both have ego problems! How dare you come to this site and trash moms..you are not any better than any of us here! I hope you don't teach your children to talk that way of others!
to the OP..you do not have to defend yourself! Your posting was fair!! These women just love to stir the shit!!
"sier bread" .."if the person who is negligent is black" what is wrong with you women? Why do you always distract from the blogs by bringing up something so pointless as race?? This is not about what color a nanny is..she sucks..that is what it is about! enough already with the race cards! PLEASE!!
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