30 April, 2010

In The News...

Friday, April 30, 2010
A Jacksonville, Florida babysitter is in jail after her employer noticed almost $11,000 missing from her checking account. According to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, the victim noticed the problem Monday when she noticed $10,800 missing from her Florida Telco account. Florida Telco showed police several images of 22-year-old Lauren Jackson Kirkland making five withdrawals from the branch at Atlantic Boulevard at Girvin Road.

Megan Martzen is being held in the Fresno County Jail on a $2 million bail. Defense attorney, Jeff Hammerschmidt is working to get that reduced, so the 19-year old will not have to deliver her baby in a jail cell. Martzen is accused of intentionally killing a 17-month old Reedley girl she was babysitting in February 2009.

A Fitchburg, Wisconsin day care provider who was arrested Wednesday blamed her 5-year-old son for one case of suspected child abuse and a teething toy and child carrier for two others, according to court documents filed Thursday.

A 31-year-old Helena, Montana man accused of shooting his wife and the couple's nanny has made an initial appearance in District Court.
Jeremy S. MacGregor is charged with two counts of attempted deliberate homicide for the April 15 shooting. MacGregor was read the charges filed against him on Thursday. He will enter a plea during an arraignment scheduled for May 20.

The release of the new Family Nanny Robot proves that China doesn't plan on letting Japan completely take over the work of eliminating human jobs. Developed by Shenyang Siasun Robot & Automation Co. Ltd., the robot can essentially act as a temporary caretaker for children and the elderly with the ability to detect gas leaks, alert the fire or police authorities, as well as text the owner in certain situations. Equipped with sensors that allow it to navigate the interior of any home, the robot only needs 2 hours of charging to operate for 8 hours. The company plans to introduce the robot to the commercial market for 10,000 yuan ($1,500) in the next five years.

28 April, 2010

Walter Stillman School - On Windsor and Tenafly Road - Tenfly, NJ

Received Wednesday, April 28, 2010
negative emoticon 1 Your son attends a public school On Windsor and Tenafly Road called Walter Stillman School in Tenfly, NJ. He is in second grade and small for his age. His babysitter, a heavyset woman who speaks little English ignores him. I have had to speak to him repeatedly on the playground about hitting my charge, who is 5 years old, with rocks, sticks, and his fists. Other kids on the playground have issues with your son as well. However when I or another parent or sitter correct him, he stops right away and plays nicely. I think he's seeking attention, which I assure you he does not get from his 'sit on the bench and ignore him' sitter. He has blonde curly hair and his name begins with a J. I hope you see this because his sitter really does nothing. You are paying her and we other sitters and parents are the ones minding your son. Since he is in 2nd grade he doesn't need constant supervision, but a little interaction once in a while on the sitter's part would let the poor child know she's still breathing and more importantly that she knows he exists.

Nanny is Fed up with PA Duties

Received Wednesday, April 28, 2010
perspective and opinion I feel strange doing this, but I'm nearing the end of my rope...

I am a nanny, and I have been working for this family for almost two years. This is my first nanny job, but I have eleven years of experience working with young children. I also have a B.S. in Early Childhood Development. That being said, while I love the boy I care for very much, I am having a myriad of problems with my boss, his mother.

Recently, she has been assigning me tasks that I don't feel are my responsibility: taking/picking up her dry cleaning, walking the dog, taking the dog to the vet, going to department stores to pay her bills, etc...

Now, its not that I think I'm too good to do these things, I actually enjoy being helpful, but I signed on to be a nanny, not a personal assistant. I would love to be able to just focus on her son, but as she gives me more errands to run and chores to do, her son isn't getting all the love and attention from me that he deserves.

The most upsetting part of all this is that recently, say over the past six months, she hasn't been paying me on time. If I do get a check on "payday", it's never for the full amount. This upsets me not because I'm greedy, I just feel unappreciated and unimportant. Also, my fiancée, who has been helping me bridge the gap financially, is livid that she doesn't pay me on time and has urged me to quit. I would feel awful leaving this family, especially the little guy. I guess I feel a sense of loyalty to them.

I am desperate for a way to talk to her about my paychecks that wouldn't cause her to get defensive and thus angry with me. Please give me some suggestions!

Nanny Losing Joy and Direction Needs Advice

Received Wednesday, April 28, 2010
perspective and opinion Hi There, I need some advice. I have been a nanny on and off for 17 years. The start of my career was in corporate management, however, I knew that I wanted to work with children and nannying was very fulfilling.

The kids I work with are great, but I have worked with nightmarish families and I can't take it anymore! Years of drudgery, isolation, job creep and being treated as an indentured servant had caused me to lose the joy in what I originally loved.

Currently, I am in school learning skills that will help in a new career, but I am still in the process of figuring out what direction to go. I am going to have to make a change in the next 6 months. Has anybody gone through this? How did you take steps to make this change? What direction did you go in? Have you found what you love to do? Any advice is appreciated. Thank You.

27 April, 2010

Nanny Sightings Needed

What details do I include in my nanny sighting?

Physical description of caregiver:
Physical description of involved child/children:
Address or venue of observed incident:
Date and time of incident:
Detailed description of what you witnessed:
Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver:
Video and photo are always welcome.

Mother's Day?

Received Tuesday, April 27, 2010
perspective and opinion I have a problem with my current job. First, let me say, I care about the children I take care of but I have little interaction with the mother. She breezes in and out and seems to go out of her way to say things designed to make me feel unimportant. If I pass on to her some crucial information about a school activity, she gets snippy. But if I don't pass on the information, she misses it entirely and then the children's participation in the activity (requiring for example $10, a white t-shirt, a pair of running shoes that day) is compromised. I am a professional nanny in that I do not judge the mother for her behavior, although I have concerns. I treat her respectfully regardless of how she treats me or her children or our mutual contacts, (other nannies, mothers she thinks are beneath her). This is the background. She is a stay at home mother, by title only. I use the word "mother" loosely. I have been her nanny for the past seven months. Mother's day is approximately two weeks away. I am honest, I am here because I am a nanny and I get paid every two weeks; rain or shine. I don't get involved in any personal details of my family. As I stated, the mother is downright mean when I try and offer her reminders about something she has no care about. My problem is that perhaps out of fear, her previous nannies; and she has had about 10- have all done things for her for mother's day. This includes getting her flowers with their own money, working on Sunday for free to give her the day off, buying her gifts, spending weeks making something special with the children for her, even naming a star after her. How do I know this? The mother has mentioned mother's day a number of times to her children and told her that she does for them all year and they better have big plans for her. Has anyone else ever been in this situation? While, in my course of employment, I do not judge her; quite factually her children are neglected on a daily basis and emotional abuse is the norm. Will I lose my job if I don't fete mommy dearest? What is the least I can do? Is it damaging to children who's needs are not being met by their mother to make them write poems and plan a day saluting their mother for being loving, nurturing, giving? On an aside, I am a mother with a two year old daughter and all I want for mother's day is to spend it with my child and not think about my job.

26 April, 2010

Bouncing Babies for Bouncing Checks

Received Monday, April 26, 2010
perspective and opinion I need some quick advice about a problem I'm having. I am a former nanny who had to give it up to go to nursing school full-time. Now I babysit to pay the bills. I have an ad on Sittercity and have no problem finding jobs. But I've noticed a pattern of parents writing checks for payment. I have had 2 checks bounce from 2 different families and when I tried to contact them, they never returned my calls. So I basically worked for free. I guess I want to know if it's okay to ask to be paid in cash from the get-go. I hate to do this but I feel like it's the only way to ensure I don't get screwed over again. Any advice?

25 April, 2010

Day of Play Turns into More than a Headache

Received Sunday, April 25, 2010
112009 emoticion Boy oh boy do I have a sitch for you. It was a super fantastic day today in the city, right? I live in Brooklyn, which for those of you who don't know the layout of the city, Brooklyn is NYC, it is one of five suburbs which includes the island of manhattan, staten island, queens and long island.

I went to a park just to let my little nephew run around. We were home most of the morning and he was playing with monster trucks. The volume was so loud, I was getting a major headache, so I said, "Basta!" and we headed to the park. I took my textbooks with me because I am just babysitting for the weekend and I am a full time college student and as you might imagine, we are getting near finals.

We went to jj byrne park in brooklyn. This is a super great park for me to take my nephew to because there are benches right next to the playground equipment. I brought all the provisions he would need, a little hat, sunblock, bottled water for us both and some Chuckles.

I walked around the playground for awhile while he got himself used to the equipment and said hello to some kids. He's a pretty social little kid, so I knew he would be fine. I had a prime spot on a bench pretty central to the whole playground. I sat down and cracked a book and began reading and of course alternately watching my nephew and listening to him.

The park started getting more and more crowded as it got closer to 11AM. I continued doing my thing. When my nephew was thirsty, he came for water. I gave him a few chuckles. He sat on the bench with me for awhile, then he returns to play. *All of this is relevant and you will soon see why!

I am reading my textbook now with my sunglasses on because it is bright out. I also pulled out a NY Mets hat and put it on because I hate to squint in the sun. About five minutes later, there is a large, burly woman standing next to me. She says, "Where you kid at?" but it sounded like "Weh you kid at"? I immediately looked up straight ahead, I didn't see him right away but within four seconds, my eyes settled on him. I looked back at her and said, "there, why". She tells me "You best get up off you lazy butt and watch that boy. He got no business up there by himself. Him hanging on my little girl for support".

If you know this playground, there is nothing major to climb on here. It's a super safe and column arena for kids. I say to her, "what are you talking about". She says, "Your boy keep grabbing on my girls arm and he 'bout pulled it out of the socket".

So, now I am mad. I get up walk over to where my nephew is playing and there is an obese red haired girl next to him. I call him by his name and ask if everything is okay. He is laughing with hysterics and smiling big. The obese girl is also laughing. Her arm looks fine and in tact. I turn back to the nanny and I say, "what's your damage?" She goes, "Don't you ask me what my damage is. I'm not here to watch your child. You best keep your eye on your boy, because the next time he pull on my girl, I'm about to fling him down on the sidewalk".

I tell my nephew, "come lets go play over here, with the boys". I even go so far to tell the little chubby girl to have fun. And I walk away. When I am walking away I can hear the nanny muttering under her breath.

Now there are three boys right by the center and I steer my nephew over to them and introduce him. I introduce me. I tell them where I will be sitting and go back to sit down. I sit down basically right smack in front of their action.

My whole flowered tote bag is gone. The waters, the candy, the sunblock, my ipod, my nephew's batman glasses - the whole bag is gone, except the one text that I had layed down next to the bag when I got up to follow the nanny. Right away I notice, the nanny is gone! She's nowhere in sight. If you know this playground you know you can escape to a major bustling street easily.

If you know the identity of the nanny who stole my bag or may have set me up to steal my flowered tote bag, please contact this blog and let them know. I need my things back. I had completed homework in that bag, a second $88 text book and my ipod full of songs. I also had some cash in the bottom of the bag, it was a lot of loose $1 bills and maybe a $5. Probably $20 or so.

The nanny was a rather large, masculine in appearance, African American female with rusty colored hair in a short, curled style. She had a really large face and very big cheeks. She was wearing a ribbed material short sleeve pink sweater and a gold chain with a ring hanging from it. Her charge was a little girl of about 4 with a weight problem. The girl had orangish-red hair, pale skin and wore her hair back in a single pony tale. She was wearing a matching capris and top outfit where the cuffs of the capris matched the shirt. I think it was black flowers.

Be on the lookout for this nanny. She makes up bogus stories about you not watching your child or charge so she and possibly her accomplice can steal from you.

24 April, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, April 24, 2010
Photobucket
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Nanny for Triplets (Malibu)
I am the mother of three identical girls; Aubrey, Layla and Maggie.

The girls are 3 going on 35 and love every part about being girls. They love fashion, being girly, wearing dresses, the color pink, princesses and being with each other. The main reason for a nanny right now is that I want the girls isolated, bonding with each other so they grow up relying on each other for things. I want them to grow up with great relationships and know how much family means.

They will not be allowed to do play-dates with other children; how people raise their children these days is disrespectful. I have friends with children the same age and will set up any playdates and I will be there to over-see the play-date. You will not participate in this.

The schedule below will give you an idea of your schedule:

Monday-Thursday
5-8 - You will prepare their oatmeal with fresh fruit, wake them up and strip their beds and throw it into the laundry, after breakfast is over their pajamas are to go with them. At 7 you are to wake them up and feed them, at 8 you will dress them alike (including hair, and shoes/socks.) and clean up the breakfast items. You will also start the first load of laundry while they are getting their shoes on.)

8-11:30 - Anything in this time frame has to be pre-approved with me on Monday every week and written on our schedule. I like to know where my children are at all times and what they are doing.

Lunch out is never acceptable.

12-1 - You will feed them healthy meals and switch the laundry if you haven't already done so.

1:30 -2 - Naptime is taken in the naptime room (since their bedding is in the wash.) They have nap cots that are in an empty room that is normally used for time-outs. The cots pull down and they each have an extra set of nap-time comfort items. They are not to be near each other, shades pulled and turn on their naptime cd. They will nap for 2 hours usually.

2:30-4:30 While the kids are napping you will need to make their beds up, put away their pajamas and start ay other laundry that needs cleaning, sweep floors, clean up any dishes or sippy cups etc.

5-6 This window is pool time. If you do not feel comfortable watching three children by a pool, need not apply. They have been taking lessons since they were 8 months old and all know how to swim and are fearless around water however I need you to be 110% attentive and not sun bathing or on your cell phone. These are my children, not a pet.

6-7 You are to give the girls their baths; bubble baths, matching pajamas, clothes go into hamper. Aubrey wears pull-ups.

7-8 You are to prepare their dinner at this time, I will usually put something together for you so you just have to turn on the crock pot and throw it all in there in the morning while they are eating. If i haven't, find something in the fridge.

8-9:30 is teeth brushing, stories read, and toys put away. Girls are to help with this, you are not to do it for them. They are to be in bed, lights out and music on by 9 pm. by 9:30 they should all be asleep if not you will need to step in and re-calm them down. (minimal talking.)

from 10-11:30 you will clean the home, put away dinner, start the dishwasher and run a load of towels from the baths earlier, bath mats, washcloths included. Water toys are put away, bathrooms cleaned and toothbrushes are to be sterilized with the ionizers.

I will arrive home each night before midnight and you will be free to go to your guesthouse to get some much needed sleep.

Your hours, if they weren't clear, are 5 am to 12 am but on a rare occurance I will be home around 9 or 10 but you will still put the girls to bed.

You will be staying in a large pool house off our pool, it is a full service guesthouse with your own living room, bathroom and bedroom. All utilities are paid, you will have WIFI (with an ipad if you do not have a computer of your own.), air conditioning, a flat screen hdtv, blu-ray player your own library of dvd's to choose from and a queen bed made from memory foam for a good nights sleep.

Your days of work are monday through friday and every other saturday; which will be spent with myself and the girls. I am a single mother and need extra hands.

Your compensation is airfare when you travel home for vacations, I will transport your vehicle out for you and fly you out for an interview. I will pay your cellphone bill and all utilities. I will not be paying a weekly salary but you will not have to buy toilitries, etc. Each month, given you have given a good performance I will give you a bonus towards clothing, or spending money. This job is ideal for someone retired, or someone who just wants to live the high life.

I work in the entertainment industry and will not tolerate any 'fan' behavior. I need you to respect my privacy, keep my girls safe and do a good job.

If interested, please email. I have attatched photos of the girls and parts of the home.

(Second photo is of the interior of the guesthouse. Bedroom and bathroom are upstairs in the loft. Downstairs is the kitchen, living area.)
Original URL: unavailable
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Special thanks to Kate for the insane Feature Ad this week! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their great Submissions: amyfacie, m.stermer, VAnanny, MissDee, CSnanny, kiddiepsyc, vintagebeauty03, mbargielski and krupitzerb. This was definitely one of the best CL-WTF 's ever... all of you did an amazing job! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And please don't forget to include the Links!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

23 April, 2010

In the News...

Friday, April 23,2010
2-year-old Boy Bruised and Beaten, Babysitters Blamed
Two women are facing criminal charges accused of beating a two-year-old boy they were babysitting. Twenty-four year old Kellie Smith says she left her two-year-old son and six-month-old daughter with two of her friends at a house on Miller Avenue while she went to work. "She offered to baby-sit and I said okay, I never thought she would do something like this," Smith.

Baby sitter arrested in Ramsey County
North Dakota authorities have charged an 18-year-old woman who they say was baby-sitting a 3-year-old child found standing in the middle of state Highway 20 just south of Devils Lake.Authorities say the Grand Forks woman who had been baby-sitting the child at a nearby apartment building failed to notice the child had wandered off because she had allegedly gone into a garage to smoke marijuana.

Babysitter caught smoking marijuana in front of child
A Gloucester babysitter is facing charges of child endangerment after Essex police reportedly caught her smoking marijuana with two friends in a car — with the 5-year-old in her care also in the vehicle.

Police Log; Tracy, California
5:51 p.m.: A babysitter told a 4-year-old girl to bite her 3-year-old brother “to teach him a lesson” on the 1700 block of Ash Tree Court. Police arrested the babysitter on suspicion of child abuse.

With ‘Bargain Nannies’ Available, Reconsidering Child Care
Reading that Silicon Valley’s poor economy is making nannies more affordable there got me thinking (again) about the possibility of looking for in-home child care. According to the article in last week’s Journal, “the recession and the still-weak economy have altered Silicon Valley’s nanny economics,” as parents who have gotten laid off don’t need in-home childcare, or simply can’t afford it. One agency there reports wages recently hit $16 to $17 an hour, down from $18 to $25 an hour two years ago.

Mom Passed out After Meth Birthday Binge and Smothered Baby, Police Say
Twenty-five-year-old Jessica Adams reportedly told police that she accidentally suffocated her 2-month-old son while she was sleeping on March 19, 2009. But after a lengthy investigation, police say that in reality Adams smothered her child, Gary Sterling, after a methamphetamine binge. Adams now faces a homicide charge.

21 April, 2010

Seattle Children's Museum

Received Wednesday, April 21, 2010
negative emoticon 1
Where: Seattle Children's Museum
When: Tuesday, April 20th, around 2:00 PM
Child: Nathan, about four years old. Dark brown hair, longish with a tendency to curl. He was wearing a light green shirt. There is also another child, I think a girl, who looked to be between 6 and 12 months (I only saw her from a distance.)
Nanny: "Teresa" or "Theresa." Probably late twenties/early thirties?, seemed to be Asian/Pacific Islander in her heritage, but spoke English with no accent.
What happened: My charge and I were playing in the museum when Nathan walked up to us and informed me quietly, "I'm looking for Teresa." I don't know if he remembered me from an afternoon he spent playing with my charge at the museum a month or so ago, or if he just came up to me because I was down on the floor with my charge (I was also wearing a bright purple satiny skirt, which tends to attract kiddo attention. :-) ). I started looking around for his nanny and couldn't see her anywhere at all. Nathan would play with us for a short while and then say, very sadly, "Oh, I can't stay. I should find Teresa." and walk off into a different part of the museum looking for her. He refused my offer to go with him to the front desk and page her, so I just followed him with my charge while keeping an eye out for a staffperson I could flag down. My charge was resistant to leaving the area he was in and I didn't want to crowd Nathan so I ended up sort of straddling one section of the museum making sure Nathan was in my line of sight while i carried on a fun conversation with my charge. This had all taken a good twenty minutes or so, and I saw Nathan wandering around by himself for a while beforehand.

Nathan ended up close to the front desk and tried several "fake" falls to get attention: he would slip himself onto the floor, wave his coat around, say "OUCH!" and giggle and look around for a reaction. It seemed like he was basically used to having to really push and scramble for adult attention. I caught the eye of the front desk person and directed her to him, and then he stood up and said "Can you call my nanny, please? I'm lost. I'm Nathan and she's Teresa."

The staff were really responsive and pleasant and quickly called the nanny. She stood up from a completely different section of the museum where she had been down on the floor with the baby (this area is surrounded by walls so there was no way she could even have been trying to watch Nathan, and it's also only for 0-3 year olds so he couldn't have gone in there looking for her) and without even getting off her cell phone waved him over with a really harsh, angry gesture. The staff walked him over and I heard what sounded like the beginning of a short, sharp lecture.

What's just as disturbing is that this is the second time I've seen this kind of interaction between the child and his nanny. A month or two ago he ended up playing with my charge and me for a solid hour. The entire time he was sweet, thoughtful, very conflict-resolution oriented with my charge (who's an only child used to directing all his play, and tends to hit some snags when he plays with other kids), friendly, polite....I'm a nanny and a preschool teacher and this child was awesome in every way. His nanny was 20 feet away the entire hour, talking on her phone and pushing the stroller with his sibling in it, and only looked at him once, when she charged over, told him to stop jumping up and down, and stormed back.

I thought about posting the sighting at that time but I thought there might have been an emergency, or a stressful day, or something, and in any case the nanny might have been watching him more closely than I had seen, since I was busy playing with both of them and rarely looked at her. But what i saw yesterday suggests a pattern of harsh and neglectful action with him, and that he's heartbreakingly used to it. She may be awesome in other contexts, but I think Nathan's lucky parents should know that his nanny, at best, seems to consider her job to watch his sibling and that he's an annoyance and inconvenience.

Thanks...

Swim Lesson in Brooklyn, NY

Received Wednesday, April 21, 2010
negative emoticon 1 Amanda, about 7 years old, wearing a hot pink dress with a white bolero sweater sitting with her nanny while a sibling had a swim lesson on Wed April 21 at 3:30. " oThe nanny asked "what did you do with your babysitter last night?" amanda said "I am not telling." The nanny said "if you don't tell me then I won't give you any dinner." Tears welled up in Amanda's eyes and she started reporting what she had done with the babysitter. The nanny refused to listen she pretended to call someone on her cell saying " I don't want to talk to a mean girl and I have already decided not to give her dinner. amanda looked dejected and went to sit on another bench. she said something to the nanny I didn't hear and the nanny said "oh yeah? is that what you are going to tell your parents?"

I really hope Amanda's parents see this report. Amanda seems like a sweet little girl, I cannot bear to think she spends her days with this malicious and vindictive woman.

19 April, 2010

Employer's Honeymoon Period with the Nanny is Over...

Received Monday, April 19, 2010.
perspective and opinion I have a question for you. I am a mother of two and I have a nanny I adore. The first three months were perfect and everyone kept warning me that she would soon turn or grow lazy. There are some things that she has stopped doing and started doing that I don't like. What I want to know is how to redirect her to the first three months when she did everything right. This is something I know she can do since she did do it.

Some examples of what I am speaking about. The first three months, the nanny made homemade seven and nine grain bread and homemade peanut butter and made the girls sandwiches with fresh fruits and this homemade peanut butter. Then two weeks ago, she buys squeezable grape jelly and jiff when shopping. I wouldn't have minded if she started out this way. I just think she intentionally misrepresented herself. We did have a 4 week trial period.

Another thing she did was get angry at one of my daughters when she had diarhea in her pants. I did not hear about this from her, just from the other daughter. It's not like she screamed at her, but she did make her strip by the rose arbor and hosed off her body and bottom. The temperature was only in the mid sixties that day. Again, this is not huge, just another thing that doesn't jive with the personna she put forward first.

The nanny's ring tone used to be Bach or something classical. I am not in to classical music, but she stated she was and that she liked to play it for the children throughout the day. My girls are dancing and singing to Beyonce and some of the dancing is inappropriate for children my girl's age. (I have twins, both 3.5).

The nanny also stated that she did not take or make personal calls or use the computer during work hours. She stated she was very respectful of our privacy. Well she has been taking and making calls and texting throughout the day. The housekeeper reported this to me. The housekeeper only works twice a week for four hours each day.

As for respecting our privacy, the nanny has a room and bathroom in the basement. It is clean and modern. She lives in sometimes and lives out other times, based on what she has going on in her life and if we need her late. That alone is no problem. One thing that I found and disturbed me was pubic hairs in my bathtub on Friday after the nanny left. I also noticed before I noticed the hair in the tub that the nanny smelled like me. I know she was in my bathroom, in my toiletries and in my tub. This is not sanitary and upsets me, but I am loathe to mention this as I do not know a tactful way to do so.

Can this nanny/employer relationship be restored to how it was just say, two months ago?

18 April, 2010

Just a reminder....

be kind

Cross between a Rant and a Day in the life of...

Received Sunday, April 18, 2010
a day in the life on I SAW YOUR NANNY My day begins at 8am. Baby wakes usually around 8am. If he is already up- he has a wet diaper as I arrive. Please change him. It only takes a few. When your child wakes in the early morning, you want to sleep a little more- so you give your child a bottle of milk. Guess what- toddlers wake early. You need an earlier bedtime for you all. He is almost 2 years old- and you wonder why he doesn't eat a good breakfast. You want the "baby" off the bottle- I've told you how- water in a cup/ bottle- thats all he needs. Toddlers can go a full night without a milk bottle or any food fro that matter. He cries and you give in- give him what he wants. You can't deal with the crying- you don't want his feelings hurt. Understandable- but how can he learn? He needs to eat "real meals" to grow and development. You want him off the bottle- you need to not give in and help him though the wants of the bottle. But don't give it to him. Thats not teaching him.

You wonder why- your child doesn't eat proper at meal times. You don't have scheduled meal times and you let him eat whatever he wants- when he wants.

When I come in the morning- he doesn't want to "seprate" from you- you come to aid- when he cries. You work all hours and come home late- only giving him little time with you. He needs his parents. I know that working late is sometimes needed- but you are allowed to say- I have a son that I need more time with.

You let your child sleep in your bed and go to bed when he wants. When he sleeps in your bed- with you- nobody gets the sleep that is needed. Children need their own space to sleep. He doesn't like the crib- normal for 2 year old- so get the bed- like you have been talking about for weeks. You want him off the paci/ bottle and his own bed- stop putting it off and just do it.

He cries when he wants something- you go running- yes- its normal. Parents want to protect. But this is not teaching him. When you give in and give what he wants- this is not teaching him boundaries. This is not teaching him to share, take turns and learning the word "no". You can't always get what you want in life. Even at a young age. This is what will happen: Your child is 5 years old- and in school. A toy is taken away from him, by another child- he doesn't know what to do- expect to scream, fight and do whatever it takes to get the toy back- same with the paci, bottle and whatever he wants.

I am wondering what happened to the potty- training. I tried to put him on the other morning- he cries- you take him off with no encouagement or praise. How is going to learn- without letting him try. Mom- you told me that you and dad don't communate- how can he learn- when you don't know what to do. How can you have affected childcare- if parents are not on the same page- how can he learn and be a growing child. To have a thrieving child- he needs to be on a set schedule and have boundaries. Oh, and another thing- I put him in a time-out and you pulled him out. Saying sorry- whats he going to learn- does he understand what he did wrong? How is suppose to learn.

Dad- I was hurt the other day- when you said something about- putting the safety locks up- I ask you, to get out the equipment needed- I don't where you keep everything. I am not going to search through your mess of a house and look for it. You need to be responsible parent. I can't do everything myself.

If we are going to be a successful team and if you want him to grow up healthy- we all need to be on the same page. You need a set schedule for the child and agree together- how to handle any situations that come about.

So what can we do to make this a successful team? Remember the child comes first.

Are you a Mom with a nanny, a dad with a nanny or a nanny who wants to share the details of your day with us? Write to us at isawyournanny@aol.com.

17 April, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, April 17, 2010
cl wtf with mpp
.... WHAT?!

1) I need a sitter? (Norfolk)
Hello, My name is Katherine and I am in desperate need of a sitter for my two boys tomorrow? It's so last minute and not very responsible but my Husband and I are going to Busch Gradens tomorrow...it was supposed to be a suprise but he left out one important detail..THE KIDS?
I have two boys. One is 2 and the other is 3. The 3 year old is potty trained and the 2 year old is learning. I WANT CHILDCARE in MY HOME. PLEASE. I would feel much better about them being cared for in my home. You are more than welcome to eat our food.....or watch the t.v. but our internet is broken so you will be without?
I will pay accordingly to the hours. You wont get ripped off I promise. Just take great care of my boys. PLEASE, O and dont steal my things...of course!!!
I live in Bakers Crossing off of Newtown and Virginia Beach Blvd. there is a park 10 steps from my house so you are free to take them over there if you want. I have plenty of toys and stuff for them to do. They play well with each other and wont ask much of you.
I need someone from about 8:45 or (9 on the dot) AM to about 4 maybe 5 pm or later on SAT. 04/17/10.
I prefer only woman ( sorry) and I would enjoy an older more experienced woman or maybe a responsible teenager.
Please if you email can you send a picture...PLEASE!!! THANKS FOR LOOKING.
Wish me LUCK.
SIncerely, Katherine (757)390-**** EMAIL- krdavis2009@****
Original URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1695213156.html
_____________________________________________________________
Special thanks to the following Readers for their Contribution this week: krupitzerb, cinder38, amyfacie, mbargielski, VAnanny and MissDee... all of you did an awesome job!! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And please don't forget to include the Links!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

16 April, 2010

My Day

Received Friday, April 16, 2010
a day in the life on I SAW YOUR NANNY My day starts at six am. I get up, make some tea, and while it’s stewing I get dressed and cleaned up. I drink it, and while I used to skip breakfast because I don’t like eating before eight am, these days I make myself eat one of those nutri-grain bars with my tea. I probably won’t get another chance to eat until well after noon. I leave the house, walk for twenty minutes to the bus stop and take the bus to work. Before going into the house, I take a quick peek in through the living room window to gauge the mood.

The three kids, one school age, a toddler and a baby, are all in their pyjamas. It’s half seven, and we have to leave at eight to be on time for school. As I get in the kids are messing with their toys; apparently the older two have had breakfast but the baby hasn’t. I usually feed him his breakfast. Dad is milling about downstairs doing God knows what, Mom is upstairs getting dressed. Optimistically, I stick on the kettle hoping I might get a quick cup of tea before I leave for the school run. The younger two both have filthy nappies although they’ve apparently been up and about for some time. Nobody has bothered to change them, they tend to wait for me to do it. Both kids have nappy rash frequently.

After I’ve changed the nappies and gotten the younger two into their day clothes (and convinced the older one to put on his school clothes, which he had been refusing to do) I start to feed the baby his breakfast. Mom emerges from downstairs, and after some cursory chit-chat she gets on my case about a tiff she had with another mother, whose nanny I happen to be friendly with. The tiff, in a nutshell, involves a trip abroad I had planned and warned Mom about months in advance and her inability to plan around it. She left it to the last minute to look for an alternate minder and chose to try and convince my nanny friend to take over my day off. Despite the obvious trouble with Mom not bothering to check references and her barely knowing my friend’s name, my friend’s employer seemed to think she was nanny-poaching and picked a fight. Mom chose to blame this on me, although I don’t know my friend’s employer and I didn’t know about the situation until the day I left.

The two older boys then decide to act up, the oldest torments the younger and the younger starts screaming. Dad and Mom stand around uselessly and since I’m busy feeding the baby (and they don’t like me to interfere while they’re there) it goes on until both children are in hysterical tears. This happens frequently when the parents are home; it never happens when I’m there. Dad escapes upstairs, Mom leaves, they calm down and I tell the oldest to get his coat on for school. Dad resurfaces to ‘help’, by handing me the boy’s coats. He gives me a snowsuit for the baby, despite it being 25 degrees outside. The snowsuit is two sizes too small. After I substitute the snowsuit for a fleece jacket, we leave the house fifteen minutes late. I never got my tea.

After dropping the oldest to school, myself and the youngest kids spend the next few hours at an interactive playgroup. We do this mainly because the middle child’s vocabulary has improved with exposure to children his own age, but also because Dad works from home on Wednesdays and he tends to dip in and out and get the kids riled up. To avoid this, I remove us from the house for most of the day. By the time the group play session finishes, it’s time to pick up the oldest from school. The boys have had their lunches and have their nap on the train to school. On the way back, the Dad calls me to check up, which he does frequently. Everything I say to him goes in one ear and out the other, and he tells me to take the kids to the park after school.

Mom and Dad seem to have a mild obsession with exercise and ask me to go to the park pretty much every day, to the point that I hate the park. The playground is a good forty minute walk through the park, and given that I’ve been asked to bathe the kids and have dinner on the table by half four (and I also have to clean up the messes in the dining room and kitchen, unpack the dishwasher and sort out the laundry) sometimes it just doesn’t work time wise. Discussing this with M+D is like talking to a brick wall; they think I just don’t manage my time very well. But since they leave the after-meals tidying up to me all the time, I tend to think they have more room on their schedules than I do. Certainly they have time to go jogging or train for marathons, but no time to change dirty nappies. They leave me with no time to read a book with the children, or draw pictures or bake cookies unless I forgo the park.

By half three, my energy levels are at an all time low and I’m still a bit upset from the drama this morning. I haven’t eaten since six am. I’m running on three cups of tea I got at the playgroup and a bottle of fruit juice. I am in no mood to go to the park, so I don’t. The kids play out in the back garden and have a great time. Because the middle kid is scared of spiders, we make a game of hunting one and giving it a name. When we find a big one, I trap it under a glass and middle kid names it Ben. We then release it, just in time for me to put on dinner. I eat a hasty slice of toast over the sink and dish up the food. After everyone eats, they have a bath and I get them into their PJs.

Dad finishes work and comes downstairs, and despite the kids being ready for bed he suggests they go to the park. The oldest boy is against this idea, he’s had a long day and is tired. Dad suggests they drive to the beach. The baby is due to go to bed in less than an hour. Faced with this confusion, the boys start bickering and physically fighting. When I give them a warning, Dad tells me off for trying to discipline them, telling me that they’re normally well-behaved so they don’t need discipline. I’m so sick and tired of this nonsense that I just put on my coat to leave. Before I go, I hear the start of a major tantrum but I don’t even look back.

I’ve been with this family for nine months. I’ve put up with laziness, behaviour problems, backbiting and all-round nastiness from people I thought were great employers when I first started. I’m quitting in a month.

Liability for Nannies?

Received Friday, April 16, 2010
perspective and opinion A young mother has asked me to care for her infant in her home occasionally so she can get out once in awhile. Her baby has special needs-he has had 2 holes in his heart repaired but his trachea is not growing and he has breathing problems. I would love to care for him but the liability is too great. Furthermore, I could not find liability insurance for caregivers that protects them in case of lawsuits in the US. I found some companies in the UK and Australia. Not that I can afford the insurance. I have been unemployed over a year. I was also wondering about insurance for taking care of elderly persons. I nannied for many years without insurance and it never occurred to me what would happen if I was sued. Can anyone help me on this. Thanks, MB

15 April, 2010

#5 Train from Pelham Station in the Bronx

Received Thursday, April 15, 2010
kissy emoticon I saw your nanny this morning on her way to work. My son and I were waiting to get on the 5 train this morning from the pelham parkway station in the bronx, heading downtown. Your nanny (appeared to be mid to late 40's, african american or perhaps carribean, slender, chin length hair brushed back from her face) stopped me to compliment my son's behavior. She then struck up a conversation about your 10 month old little girl who she takes care of full time. She talked about her wonder at the intelligence of children and how each day with your she child learns something new and is continually amazed by children. She lovingly referred to her charge as "my girl". Your nanny also talked about how grateful she is to have this opportunity to see children in a new light now that her own children are grown (for id purposes, she mentioned that her youngest child just graduated from albert einstein medical school). I mentioned to her that I have a background in early childhood education and she took that as an opportunity to ask me about your child's interactions during gymboree classes. (She attends either gymboree or mygym on 72nd st). You are lucky. Youre nanny not only loves your little girl but obviously loves children in general and places great importance on what she does. It was a nice way to start my day!

Washington Square Toddler Park in NYC

Received Thursday, April 15, 2010
negative emoticon 1
When:
On Wed. April 14th
Where: Washington Square Toddler Park
Time: 3:30 - 4 ish
What: While I was at Washington Square park today (the toddler playground on the Northwest portion of the park, it includes a climber and swings) I observed your nanny and her friend sitting on the bench while your children screamed in their strollers. For the entire time I was there (45 minutes) your children sat in their strollers and cried. Your nanny and another nanny proceeded to talk and rock the strollers as your children sat in them. The children in the double stroller were clearly disturbed and one child was crying very loudly. The kids were never removed from this position. I took a picture because if it was my child I would want to know how they were spending their afternoon. If there are any questions you can contact me directly.
photo nanny 4 14

Washington Square Toddler Park in NYC

Received Thursday, April 15, 2010
negative emoticon 1 Today when I arrived at the toddler park at Washington Square your son Liam was sitting on your daughter (small blond haired little girl, looked to be about 3) on the toddler climber near the slide. Pretty normal behavior for a big brother but this is not what concerned me. When your daughter started to cry your nanny was no where to be found. Many mothers were talking to your two children and another boy (looked to be a friend) trying to find out who was responsible for the children. Your daughter continued to cry for at least 5 minutes until your nanny ran over from the bench she was sitting on. She gathered all of the children and removed them to the other side of the park. Your daughter was really upset at the incident and everyone there was confused as to why her caretaker did not come to her aid sooner.
*Op of this post has a photo available for the parents of this child.

14 April, 2010

Team Nanny!

Received Wednesday, April 14, 2010
rant 1 Purely for venting purposes and hopefully the relief of some other nannies, I present you with my....

TOP 13 most Obnoxious, Annoying or Infuriating Aspects of my Nanny Job:

* Not to be taken too seriously. I don’t need insightful advice that I can quit or renegotiate. I just want to let off steam.
13. Having me ‘help’ with homework you assign over break: You buy some workbooks and decide to have your third grader work on lowest common dominators over the school break, even though her teacher is nowhere near covering fractions. Of course she can’t do the homework by herself. Guess whose taking over this one?
12. Kids are not awake when I arrive: Do you think I got up early just so I could sit in your house and wait for your kids to wake up? Do you want to go to work and sit around waiting for something to do because your boss was not prepared for you? Get the kids to bed on time!
11. Low budget during breaks: So I spend $50 on three kids in one week including gas and that’s a bit too much for you? Try to spend less in one day. How about buying some groceries so I don’t have to pick up lunch if you don’t want me to spend money on lunch?
10. Dad doesn’t have any say: It would be really nice if I could ask the dad a question about how much we can spend, or how long the kids can watch TV, or how many sick days I have, without him telling me to ask the mom. It would also be really nice if you would actually give her your input a.k.a. stick up for me if you disagree with her decisions.
9. Not backing me up: Please don’t comfort crying children who are upset because I am upset with them. They only do this when you are around because it works on you. It’s called manipulation.
8. Not enforcing rules: I thought we agreed that if your fussy three-year-old doesn’t eat a certain meal, then we offer it to her every time she is hungry until she eats it. SO, if I let you know she didn’t eat her lunch and it’s in the refrigerator so she can have it for dinner, I don’t want to find out the next day that you have her something else!
7. Your Vacation: It’s really nice you’re taking a little weekend trip or a ten-day vacation. Explain to me why you are keeping me up until the second you are in the car? What am I waiting around for after the kids are all ready to go and you just need to finish your last minute (or three hour) packing and preparations? Let me go home!
6. Disaster Times: If your neighborhood is at risk for being evacuated and mine is safe, I don’t’ really like hearing you are still counting on me to come in to work. That’s not very heartwarming. Your lucky I didn’t’ take my husband’s advice and quit after I hung up the phone.
5. Birthday Parties Cost: I know you don’t like hearing this, but it’s really not that nice for me to watch you spend well over $500 on a young child’s party and then receive a card with a $50 bill for my own birthday. (Which is a fraction of what I spend on your whole family's birthdays) I don’t care if you think it’s my business or not, I am human and this does bother me.
4. Birthday parties attendance: Please don’t invite me to attend your child’s birthday party that I have been planning, have me arrive early to help prepare and set up, and then invite me to relax and enjoy the party so that you don’t have to pay me for my time.
3. Sick days: I don’t really appreciate it when you keep your child home from school with me for the sniffles, or call me to pick her up at school for having gas if you are going to give me a hard time for staying home when I have H1N1 I received from your family.
2. Holidays and Visiting Friends: I am working the afternoon of the day before Thanksgiving, or the day after Thanksgiving, or Christmas Eve day or some other near holiday when companies all over the country have long released their employees out of kindness. Meanwhile, not only are you at home cooking, getting manicures, out to the movies or shopping, but you often have a house full of guests with eight kids and eight adults. All of them wondering…what the heck is the nanny doing here?!?!?!?
1. Not Really Being Able to Afford a Nanny: Recognize that you are my employer not my customer. If you don’t’ provide my healthcare, sick days, or extra gas money, raises or holidays, I go without. If you can’t provide some petty cash so the kids and I can get some ice cream and pay for parking, you probably better not hire a nanny. You know what? If I can’t afford to eat at a restaurant and buy a drink, and pay tax, and tip well in addition to my entrée, I don’t go out to eat.

Thanks I feel a lot better now. ; )

13 April, 2010

Needing Time Off for Surgery...

Received Tuesday, April 13, 2010
perspective and opinion OK, I need everyone's advice on something. I am a nanny for 2 wonderful families. We do a share and it is full-time (meaning I watch them at the same time, daily). I have been with family #1 since October 2008 and family #2 only since this past December. I love my job, the kids are wonderful and my bosses are all great. I work Mon-Fri from 9-6, get 2 weeks paid vacation (one week my choice, one week theirs), unlimited sick days and 2 personal days per year. Since September, I have taken two sick days when I was in the hospital, a few personal days when my dad was in the i.c.u and have used some vacation time. All in all, I rarely call in sick, I have never been late, I stay late often without a complaint and I am a great employee( imo:) ).

Here is what is going on: I have something called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) which is a disease that affects my weight, hormones, fertility, etc. Since I have had it, I have gained a great deal of weight. When you have PCOS, you are really, really resistant to losing weight. My doctors have put me on all sorts of medicine, diet plans, etc. I exercise, follow a healthy diet and take my medicine. Basically - the PCOS will only get better if you lose weight and because PCOS makes you so resistant to weight loss its kind of like a catch 22. I have been seeing an endocrinologist who recommended that if I ever want to be able to have children/get to a healthy weight, then Lap Band Surgery, which is a type of weight loss surgery, is my only option at this point. I have been seeing a surgeon and he just scheduled me for surgery in the beginning of June. My surgeon said its about a two week recovery period. If I ever want to have children, this is something that has to be done to try to reverse the PCOS. I am already (almost) 31, so I don't have a TON of time left to have children and as my surgeon said "the sooner the better". I truly wouldn't get this surgery if it wasn't my last option. I cannot tell you how incredibly frustrating it is to be going through this and how helpless I feel. Although I am actually pretty healthy at the moment, I am at a really high risk for diabetes, heart disease , etc. if I do not get my weight under control. I just want to be healthy and be able to have children. Obviously, I am a nanny and I love children and I would be devastated if I was never able to have them b/c of this stupid disease.

I am really nervous to request time off for the surgery b/c I hate the idea of having to inconvenience both of my bosses. Neither family really has any family members in the area to help out with back up child care so I am pretty sure that they will have to find a temp nanny. As far as finding alternate child care for the 8 days, I would be more than willing to help them look on craigslist, sittercity, etc., post ads, ask around, and do anything to help them from having to do the bulk of the work. I truly feel bad that I have to request this time and I wouldn't ask if it wasn't necessary. My boyfriend tells me that I shouldn't feel bad, I am entitled to the time off and its surgery; not a vacation!!! I really cannot have the same attitude and I cannot help but feel guilty and like they are going to be mad at me for taking so much time. I guess here is my question: All of you nannies or bosses, have you ever had to take time off for surgery or had a nanny take time for surgery or a medical issue? How did you feel about it? How did you work things out? Also, another issue is that, technically - I am only entitled to one week paid vacation of my choosing so how do I go about asking about the extra 3 days. I cannot really afford to not be paid but I also don't want to be pushy about it. I mean, technically, they could also be chalked up to sick days. Any comments, suggestions, or feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Biltmore St NW, between Columbia Rd & 19th (in DC?)

Received Tuesday, April 13, 2010
kissy emoticon
When: noon, 12 Apr 2010
Where: Biltmore St NW, between Columbia Rd & 19th
Nanny: young Afro-Caribbean woman (I assume based on accent), wearing a red and white horizontally striped blouse, blue denim capris.
Child: blond toddler (boy, I assume), in a large blue stroller.
What: She was chatting w/ child, in a very friendly tone, and at times taking the stroller into an S shaped path to elicit giggles from the boy. No cellphone in sight. It was nice to see a nanny who was actually interested in the child and enjoying her job.

12 April, 2010

Harbor Island Park - Mamaroneck, NY

Received Monday, April 12, 2010
negative emoticon 1 This may be something. Or it may be nothing. I was pulling up to Harbor Island Park with my 9 year old who can't go to school because he has a pink eye. He has ADD so I can't keep him home all day without an outlet, so I decided to take him to the park and let him run around. We pulled up and it was, jeez, maybe ten am and about 52 degrees. I see the strangest sight. This dark complected woman of unknown origin, slender but with a pot belley, black and white printed pucci style kechief on her hair, tan pants, red sweater, holding a white child of about 9-14 month like a football. She was on the passenger side of a black late model, shiny SUV Ford, don't know the make because my son took off running towards the water. What was she doing with this child out of the car? I doubt he could walk. It was cold and? and? SHE WAS FEBREEZING the baby. That is what she was doing... squirting the baby with febreeze. His carseat sits on the passenger back side of the vehicle. The car also had tinted windows. I know she was doing something bad because when I saw what she was doing she stopped and rotated 50 degrees so I could not see her. Harbor Island Park is on Mamaroneck, NY and this was about an hour ago.

Helicopter Parenting...

Received Monday, April 12, 2010
perspective and opinion I have a question. I've been nannying a sweet four and a half year old girl for almost a year now. She's an angel, very imaginative and affectionate. Her parents, however, are severely anxious about everything (I think the kiddo was a preemie, and she's an only child to late-in-life parents) and freak out completely if the little girl is ever alone. Let me be clear, when I say "alone" I mean "in the living room, in clear sight, ten feet from where I'm doing the dishes or setting the table." The child can't look at books by herself, play with her toys by herself, fall asleep by herself...as her nanny I'm expected to interact with her completely every single minute we're together.

I love her and I love being with her, but I feel like she NEEDS some time relying on her own resources. When I was four I had a baby brother and was regularly absent from my parents, by myself in my room, for two or three hours at a time. It made me creative, imaginative and a great storyteller. Am I totally off here, or do kids need some time to themselves? Wouldn't it be good for her to be her own stimulus for fifteen or twenty minutes? And as a nanny, how can I foster that without looking like I'm just trying to slack off?

Question Regarding Employer Rights...

Received Monday, April 12, 2010
perspective and opinion
I have a question regarding EMPLOYER rights with Nannies.

I have heard of cases where nannies can come into this country and leave you without any notice even as soon as a day or two of entering into the country. As a prospective employer I have the following questions:

a> Is there anyway of flagging such Nannies who do this so that other employers and Immigration Canada are aware of it?

b> Will my chances of sponsoring someone else be harder?

c> I have heard from friends that nannies can come up with stories that the employer is bad and they had to leave with with no notice and Human rights will be on their side? Is that true????

d> Also I heard that agencies in Canada are going to charge an insane amount of money to hire overseas nannies - If that is the case is there no regulation that protect our recruitment fees?

I would like to know the facts before diving into this road.

11 April, 2010

How much for 2 weeks in the North of France?

Received Sunday, April 11, 2010
perspective and opinion I have a question concerning how much I should be paid for going on vacation with a family. A little background first: I don´t know this family and we made contact through greataupair. The family lives in the Netherlands and I in Spain. They´re going on vacation in the North of France for 2 weeks and would like to brin an aupair with them. They´ve put the question to me about how much I think I should be paid. The kids will be 3 months and 23 months (girls) at the time of the vacation. The parents haven´t asked for anything extraordinary in terms of help, cleaning up after meals, preparing meals for the older girl, and just basic help. They´ll be paying for my airfair (most likely first from spain to netherlands and then netherlands to france) as well as all expenses for the trip. The parents seem very normal and very nice but I know that there´s a disparity between what nannies want for going on vacations and what parents think is reasonable so I´d like advice from everyone!

From the information we´ve exchanged it sounds like they´ll want about 100 hours over the 2 weeks split between being with the whole family, them having time alone, and me just caring for the little one while they focus a bit on the older girl. We´ll be by the beach and from what I´ve read in a really beautiful area! I know I´ll have a great time, I´ve been on vacations with families before, however I had been their nanny for years so it was really comfortable and payment didn´t need discussing.

I´d appreciate any advice you guys have, especially from parents... what do you think is fair? Also if anyone has done anything like this, any problems that arose or any disparities between what was originally expected and what they wanted while you were there.

Thanks!

Look out for these employer's on the prowl...

Received Saturday, April 10, 2010
rant 1 So, I have been looking for new work recently and came upon a woman in Rockville Centre, Long Island. I got to my interview only 15 minutes early, but neither parent was home until about 45 minutes afterward, so I spent that time talking to their current nanny (who was a cousin) and the children. The children were absolutely delightful...they seemed very good and they enjoyed playing with me until their parents got home. As kids get when there are interviews, they were over-excited and a bit disobedient, but for 4 and 5 year olds, it was nothing out of the basic "hyper little kid" idea.

The mother and father spent a good 50% of the interview screaming at the kids and screaming at each other. The mother was the worst horror, she would yell at her husband for anything. If he tried to send the kids to bed, she yelled. If he just let the kids do what they want, she yelled. If he told the kids they would get a spanking, she yelled. The husband at one point was just playing with his own kids to distract them so there could be an actual INTERVIEW and she snaps at him "WHY ARE YOU SO IMMATURE GOD YOU'RE NOT 5", just basically flipping her nut for no reason. The mother then proceeded to ask every question she'd already asked me over email, claiming she forgot (it's in email, look it up?), and then spent the rest of the interview telling me that her kids were really bad and needed a lot of discipline. I told her flat out that they didn't seem to be doing anything exceptionally abnormal for their age. The highlight of the interview was when she asked me how long I could work, and I told her my average of a year, and her husband commented that "he'd be out by then", and she suddenly turns to him and goes "yeah, good, leave" and he's like "yeah I'll have my own apartment." If you see this family, heavy, heavy beware.

The father is a nice guy, or at least he seems so, who does his best, but he lives with a witch who doesn't know how to control her children and thinks that yelling at them and bitching at her husband is the way to go. She has NO respect for your time at all and I can't imagine what it would be like to have to work with her. Furthermore? She's cheap. She actually told one of my references that paying me 750 a week for over 50 hours of work in MANHATTAN was too much, and how could she even pay me that much. Don't expect a moment's raise from this lady, or respect, like I said."

10 April, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, April 10, 2010
112009 wtf
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Looking for an attractive babysitter to babysit my child (Sacramento)
Hi, as you can read from the title I am looking for a beautiful and attractive babysitter that wouldn't mind watching my child while Im here at home. I have a lot to do around here and there are days when I can't do it all at the same time. Maybe we can exchange pics and go from there. If your interested, message me. This is a serious post so serious inquiries only, thank you and have a wonderful day :)
Original URL: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/kid/1683258992.html
______________________________________________________________
Special thanks to Cinder38 for our Feature Ad! Also, thank you to: mbargielski, bondowning, nannybee, afnt81, MissMannah, AmyFacie and MissDee... all of you did a fantastic job!Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And please don't forget to include the Links!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

09 April, 2010

Having Different Philosophies on Child Rearing...

Received Friday, April 9, 2010
troubled emoticon
BACKGROUND:
I am a 44-year-old mother of teens and have been a nanny for a family for the past three years. Their son was 20 months old when I first started. He is now 4 ½, and they also have a daughter who is now 11 months old. They are a wonderful family to work for in many ways. The pay is competitive, on the books, and always on time. The home is a clean and pleasant working environment. I do no housework, only preparing breakfast and lunch for the children and cleaning up after them (including diapers in the laundry -- they use cloth diapers).

I rarely have to work overtime. The mother is the parent with whom I primarily interact. She is easy to work with, however almost since day one there has been a tension within me because our child-raising philosophies are so different. She does not believe in discipline in the traditional sense of warnings and consequences. While she does many things very well (teaches why certain behavior is prohibited, gives alternatives, engages her son in decision-making processes), she does not gear them appropriately toward his age, making her very ineffectual. Children this young don't respond all that well to reason and logic on a consistent basis.

There are many tantrums when she is dealing with him, much resistance, much misbehavior and rebellion, and often he ends up doing exactly as he had intended because she simply will not be decisive with him. Nor will she ever show any displeasure or disapproval in a way that motivates him to comply. She does not convey authority. She will blandly say generic things like, “We don’t hurt other people.”, or, “Words are not for hurting.”, but she says them with no emotion and no follow-up when he ignores them.

She doesn’t use any discipline technique, not even time-outs (which I think are questionable anyway, but that’s not the point). Although she will put toys in time-out. She has said that she thinks punishment doesn’t teach anything and is constantly making excuses for his misbehavior: he is coming down with something; he is sick; he is getting over being sick; he is tired; he is hungry; he is stressed about something, he picked up some behaviors from school, his allergies are bothering him, he is overly excited because his birthday/Easter/Halloween/Christmas is coming up; she had the flu and was in bed and unavailable for a while; he is jealous of his new sibling, etc. etc. etc.

There is always an excuse for him, and she never shows any [normal, human] negative emotion toward him. She thinks that everything can be accomplished through appealing to him cognitively – and has thought this since before he even turned two. It drives me nuts, but we never really have time to have any good conversations about these issues because in the morning she’s in a rush to get to work and in the evenings the kids are demanding her attention and dinner needs to get started and I need to get home. But I don’t think much of what I have to say would be welcome because in her eyes, her ideas are the most enlightened and modern way of doing things. Even though the results indicate otherwise.

I guess you could say it is none of my business how she chooses to raise her child, but when I am expected to implement philosophies that I am so opposed to, it is very stressful. It also makes my skin crawl to see her son be so difficult for her to handle when he is a piece of cake for me to handle. I can take him on outings all over the city with never a problem, and she can barely take him to the grocery store without having to deal with a meltdown. It is so frustrating to hear about all the time, when I know it is so unnecessary.

The other issue I have with her is that she lets him roam the block by himself (in a free-range type of mentality), which I think he is too young to do. Especially when he’s in my care and I could be held liable (negligent) if something happened to him while he was outside playing down at the end of the cul-de-sac without me.

So anyway, the other day Alex did something to Sofia that was really bad in my opinion, and I started to tell the mother about it when she got home from work. Right in the middle of my telling her, she started talking to Alex, asking him if he wanted to watch a movie. Things deteriorated at that point (he was still upset about the incident and wouldn’t cooperate with her), so I just left. Later I emailed her telling her we needed to talk. Three days later she finally answered my email and said that she had interrupted me to try to get Alex involved with a movie so he wouldn’t hear me telling her about what he did. Then she ended her email with, “What did you want to tell me?”.

Since I knew we would not get the chance to talk uninterrupted, and that I had so many things bottled up to say, I decided to pour it all out into an email. I hope readers will let me know their thoughts on any of the issues presented in the above narrative, and/or in the email.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS SUBMISSION: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

08 April, 2010

Dartmouth Totlot in Berkeley

Received Thursday April 8, 2010
kissy emoticon Good nanny sighting. Yesterday, (April 7) from about 3:00-4:00 pm at Dartmouth Totlot in Berkeley, a hispanic nanny, speaking both Spanish and good English (with an accent), with a girl and a boy, Sophia and Elijah, about 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 respectively.

The nanny looked around 35, with short (neck length) dark hair with reddish coloring growing out just at the ends. She was medium height, somewhat heavy around the middle.

She was attentive to both the kids the whole time, playing with them and talking to them but not hovering, just letting them play and engaging them, making sure they were safe and interacting appropriately with each other and with my son (explaining to the little boy that he had to wait to play with the truck my son was playing with when the he tried to take it).

She had snacks and drink cups for both kids, she sang the Eensy-Weensy Spider in English and then Spanish, tickled the little boy and made squeaky silly noises, hugging him and tickling him and he giggled. She called him "mi niño hermano", "my niño precioso" and called the little girl "mi princessa preciosa" and hugged her and snuggled her. She spoke both Spanish and english to the kids. The little girl apparently had to poop (she hadn't said anything but the nanny knew it, and there is no bathroom there) and seemed worried about it and the nanny reassuringly told her she could go poop and it was OK (I assume she had a diaper on but was practicing using a potty sometimes). She said "I love you" to both of them while snuggling them at various times. She had said that their mommy was coming to meet them at 4:00, so they were leaving and as she was buckling them in the stroller she was telling them that they could say (or would, or should, I didn't hear it all) "I love you Mommy!" when they saw her. She seemed like an excellent nanny and she clearly loved the kids very much.

07 April, 2010

Cadman Plaza Park in Brooklyn, NY

Received Wednesday, April 7, 2010
negative emoticon 1 I Saw Your Nanny! And she was being really rough with your approximately three year old son, (dressed in a long sleeve white shirt and brown print corduroys and little brown boots). It was really hot and your son wanted some of her GIANT bottle of Fiji water. His speech did not appear to be as developed as an average three year old's. I believe he said, "meh, meh, "meh" when holding out his hands and BEGGING with his eyes for water. She just would not budge. She finally left with the child in the directions of the bathrooms and came back and the boy's hair and face was all wet. I think it was more wet than if she just helped him drink from the faucet. I mean that's the best case scenario. I think it is more than likely that she put his head under the sink, held it there or worse in the toilet. Why do I think this? Because your nanny was all mad looking. And I ask you, how did a nanny like that get a job? I mean, god forbid she hurts your son, how are you going to explain to friends and family when her angry, mean looking face, with cold eyes and frown lines blankets the evening news. You know they are going to want to know what you saw in her. I want to know. She never said anything nice to the kid. She looked like she was waiting for a late bus the whole time he was there. I am just furious that someone would hire someone like this to take care of the kids. Here's a novel idea, why don't YOU GO SPEND the day alone with her?
Your nanny:
African American
Approximately 5'5"
Black hair cut in a bob, very shiny/pretty.
Light complexion.
Approximately 130-135 pounds.
Wearing blue denim jeans, black oxford style shoes and a green button up blouse.

John Jay Park in NYC (edited)

Received Wednesday, April 7, 2010
troubled emoticon On Monday, April 5th, I witnessed a huge fight between nannies at John Jay Park on the Upper East Side (77th and the East River). One nanny in particular was the ringleader, threatening to kill, "take down," and "mess up," the nanny she was arguing with. Quite a large crowd of nannies gathered around, along with their charges. The nanny in question was heavy set, African-American, with very short cropped hair. She had a City-Mini double (grey and orange) with 2 children. One child was an infant in the car seat, the other was a boy about 3 or 4 years old who had hearing aids. She threatened and harassed the other woman for about 20 minutes, following her around the park and chasing after her at times. How sad that her charges witnessed this!
4/8/10 Hi, I wrote to you about the nanny fight at JJ park. I got a picture of the nanny when I was back the next day. I didn't have my phone with me last night to send it with the original email. She's second from the left. Her face isn't towards the camera, but I was scared to get closer!!!
nanny abuse

In the News...

April 7, 2010
She rushed barefoot through flames to save the young boy in her care, but she doesn't have healthcare to treat her own burns.
Without even thinking about the danger, Alyson rushed down the hall — barefoot — through 400-degree flames to save Aden, who was trapped in his bedroom. He escaped unscathed, and Alyson was badly burned on her right arm, hand and especially her feet. Fire Chief Willard Tucker said there was a minute left before the boy would have died. CLICK HERE to DONATE NOW.

Woman Caught on Nanny-Cam Pleads 'Not Guilty'
A woman accused of attacking a young boy pleads not guilty to child abuse charges.
53-year old Jeannine Campbell is accused of repeated hitting the little boy.His parents claim that the boy has escaped the attack without lasting harm.Prosecutor Jessica Trudeau said that Campbell is facing four separate charges.

Mom leaves children alone so she could go dancing
A San Antonio mom is in jail right now, accused of leaving her young children alone Monday night, while she went dancing. Police say Melissa Franco, 30, was gone for several hours. Her six, five, four and two-year old children to fend for themselves at their house on the 1400 block of Saltillo, without a babysitter.

Officials will investigate Madison day care after 6-week-old baby's death
The state Department of Children and Families will investigate whether an illegal day care was operating at a Southwest Side home where a baby stopped breathing Tuesday morning and later died. The cause of the child's death is not known, said Madison police spokesman Joel DeSpain.

Judge sentences man to 7 years for ignoring abuse
Reginald Keith, whose wife was convicted of beating 13-month-old Christopher Thomas to death and of torturing his 2-year-old sister, was sentenced Tuesday to more than seven years in prison and four years of extended supervision for failing to protect or care for the young girl during her months of abuse.

Recall: Paperboard baby books

Etiquette Request

Wednesday, April 7, 2010
When responding to postings, please remember that it is the policy of ISYN to assume that sightings are submitted in good faith. The goal of posting these sightings, as per the scope and establishment of this website is to reach the parent's eyes. We believe that parents should know how their nannies treat their children when they are not around. It's always nice to receive a positive sighting, but the bulk of these sightings are negative. We rely on the person witnessing the incident to take the time to type up what they saw, take a photograph and contact the website. For, without that person, there would never be any sightings; and hence no website. We respectfully request that the tone of comments in response to a sighting take all of this in to consideration, as the last thing we want to do is discourage those with sightings from coming fourth. There are many other features on the website that are more suitable for debate and criticism and we will work diligently to provide more of those.

Thank you for your longstanding loyalty and support.
JD

04 April, 2010

April 4, 2010

Cleaning up the blog, repairing links and generally sprucing things up a bit. Bear with us. Hope everyone had a beautiful Easter and Cb had an awesome birthday.
Thanks,

03 April, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, April 3, 2010
Photobucket
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Looking for live-in Nanny (New York)
Looking for a live in Nanny.

You would have your own twin bed and closet in the same room of the childrens.

I am looking for someone that enjoys kids, being active and creative.

My 4yr old is in preschool and the 2 1/2yr girl stays at home.

The pay would start around $440 a month and with in a few months would be increased to an extran $50 weekly! We are 20 minutes by train to the city and the train is at the end of the block. I am a young mom trying to get back on my feet and going through a divorce. My children are very sweet and outgoing!

You would get one or two days off a week.

I am going through a career change and am open! I am looking for someone that is serious and dedicated! We are a young and fun family!

I need someone that can cook, clean, play, and be firm......
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/kid/1670313817.html
_______________________________________________________________
Special thanks to JLow2474 for this weeks Feature Ad... great job! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Contributions: mbargielski, cinder38, MissMannah, MissDee, amyfacie, bookbagtheatre and kiddiepsyc... all of you found some awesome Ads! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. For those that sent Ads through MEEBO this week: my apologies... but by the time I got to them they had been deleted. Including the body of the Ad with the Link would be so helpful! ;-)

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

02 April, 2010

10th street/on the Hudson River in NYC (edited)

Received Friday, April 2, 2010
112009 sad face
Date: April 2
Time: 10:30 AM
Place: Grassy pier at the end of 10th street, on the Hudson River (NYC)
Description: 3 boys, who were 4 or 5 years old (Caucasian) and Nannies
(1 initially, then a second one later, both were Asian, perhaps 30? not teenagers for sure). I know there are people who might suggest that these are the moms, not nannies, but all three boys were Caucasian and two nannies were Asian, so I think it is pretty likely that these were nannies.
april 2 submission
There were three boys playing when we arrived, I didn't know if they were there with parent or nanny because no one was nearby. I took out some toys for my kid and his friends and the boys asked if they could see them. We shared the toys with them at a table near the end of the pier (at the river). The boys shared fairly nicely and then the nanny appeared and sat down after about 5 minutes after us. She was fine and I asked her to have the boys put the toys back in my bag when finished(as my kid was ready to play elsewhere on the pier). I went off with my child. I came back later and she was with one of the boys and she gave us one toy back (I had to go retrieve the toys from the other two boys later on, but that was no biggie, there was only one toy of the half dozen that was of super importance to my kid). The boys were nice, well behaved and did as I asked.
(ISYN publication error, see below for more information)
A while after this, one little boy playing near us was grabbing at the crotch of pants. I asked him where his nanny was because I couldn't see her at all. He looked around and said nothing (so I think he couldn't see her either) but he continued to grab. At that point, I suggested a bushy area nearby (no bathrooms ANYWHERE nearby for a boy who needed to go badly). He needed help so I helped him lower pants enough to go while standing and let him take care of the rest). I had my friend and her kids nearby and watching so that I could not be accused of doing anything inappropriate (hey, there are people out there who would sue over this!)Later I noticed the same nanny was now sitting on the side texting.She was VERY far away (I wasn't 100% sure it was her til I went by to leave) She was testing for at least 15 minutes and not looking up periodically at all to check on the boys during the time I saw her.When they left, there were 3 boys and TWO nannies, surprising me,because I didn't even know that there was a second one. Watching more than one kid in any area is tough, but this pier is particularly difficult for minding multiple active kids. It does not have a gate or fence on the side where it meets the Hudson River Path/Park. It also has rails on three sides that have openings large enough for a preschooler to fit through (or go over) pretty easily).

Roslinale Village in Boston, MA

Received Friday, April 2, 2010
112009 sad face This sighting occurred in Roslindale Village, a neighborhood of Boston. On April 2, at 1:15 pm. It was at the playground at Fallon Field in Roslindale. I don't know if the woman was a nanny or a daycare provider, as there were many children at the playground today, some in groups.

This woman was talking to two little girls, about 6 years old, who were playing on/near the swings. Both girls may have been hispanic, one was wearing a white tshirt, both had very long hair. One of the girls may have been named Ariana.

The woman (hispanic, petite, possibly straight hair) was yelling at the girls to either get off the swings, or leave the playground. When the girls didn't immediately leave, she said "Ariana, you're lucky I don't have my belt today, BUT I CAN STILL USE MY HAND!"

If this was my nanny or daycare provider, I would definitely want to know that she's threatening the children with physical punishment.