Date: April 2
Time: 10:30 AM
Place: Grassy pier at the end of 10th street, on the Hudson River (NYC)
Description: 3 boys, who were 4 or 5 years old (Caucasian) and Nannies
(1 initially, then a second one later, both were Asian, perhaps 30? not teenagers for sure). I know there are people who might suggest that these are the moms, not nannies, but all three boys were Caucasian and two nannies were Asian, so I think it is pretty likely that these were nannies.
There were three boys playing when we arrived, I didn't know if they were there with parent or nanny because no one was nearby. I took out some toys for my kid and his friends and the boys asked if they could see them. We shared the toys with them at a table near the end of the pier (at the river). The boys shared fairly nicely and then the nanny appeared and sat down after about 5 minutes after us. She was fine and I asked her to have the boys put the toys back in my bag when finished(as my kid was ready to play elsewhere on the pier). I went off with my child. I came back later and she was with one of the boys and she gave us one toy back (I had to go retrieve the toys from the other two boys later on, but that was no biggie, there was only one toy of the half dozen that was of super importance to my kid). The boys were nice, well behaved and did as I asked.
(ISYN publication error, see below for more information)
A while after this, one little boy playing near us was grabbing at the crotch of pants. I asked him where his nanny was because I couldn't see her at all. He looked around and said nothing (so I think he couldn't see her either) but he continued to grab. At that point, I suggested a bushy area nearby (no bathrooms ANYWHERE nearby for a boy who needed to go badly). He needed help so I helped him lower pants enough to go while standing and let him take care of the rest). I had my friend and her kids nearby and watching so that I could not be accused of doing anything inappropriate (hey, there are people out there who would sue over this!)Later I noticed the same nanny was now sitting on the side texting.She was VERY far away (I wasn't 100% sure it was her til I went by to leave) She was testing for at least 15 minutes and not looking up periodically at all to check on the boys during the time I saw her.When they left, there were 3 boys and TWO nannies, surprising me,because I didn't even know that there was a second one. Watching more than one kid in any area is tough, but this pier is particularly difficult for minding multiple active kids. It does not have a gate or fence on the side where it meets the Hudson River Path/Park. It also has rails on three sides that have openings large enough for a preschooler to fit through (or go over) pretty easily).
26 comments:
I'm sorry but what exactly is the bad sighting? I'm confused??'
Were you angry because she didn't immediately return your toy or because she wasn't hovering over your charge?? I'm lost...
Oops! I meant, because she wasn't hovering over HER charge, not yours! :P
I think it's just feedback from the parents. Since nannies work unsupervised. Not bad. Mostly good?
Yeah... this may very well be meant as a good sighting? Although the OP isn't very specific. OP?
I wonder how many people see me out with my two youngest kids and assume I'm their nanny because they're as Caucasian-looking as my husband, and not dark-skinned like me...
Like everyone else, I'm failing to see what the bad sighting is supposed to be.
Let's wait to hear back from the OP. Who the hell knows if this is a good or bad sighting? We definitely need more info.
OP here, the sighting was totall cut off. I will email ISYN right now!
Also, the kid in front of picture was one of the kids, but the other child in background was not one of the 3 boys in the group.
I can't believe you helped him go pee. Not that you did anything wrong, I just would NEVER have done that.
PinkJulia-I thought the same thing. Just a little odd. I know OP was just trying to help but I still don't believe that was an appropriate action. Still, the nanny should have been more aware of her charges.
Pink and VA-
Yes, I know, I really had to make a fast call on whether or not to help. It felt VERY weird... I didn't touch the kid's skin, just pulled the waistband(from the back) down a couple of inches so he could take care of things.
Thinking back on the decision, I am still not sure, if someone who was a mom of a boy same age helped my kid get his waistband down, so he wouldn't wet himself, I think I'd appreciate it (once I understood the situation and met me!).
Anyway, I really wish that someone would recognize this kid. It broke my heart to think about whether some pedophile could have been the one to "help" him with a need to pee instead of a mom who just hated to see him wet himself. If it were me I would fire the nanny. It was that bad a situation.
I don't really get it even with the additional info. But two things did strike me, a bit off the topic.
One: I still don't understand people leaving ANYTHING of importance on a table in a public place, going off to do something and then expecting it to still be there when they come back, especially in a city like New York. That always baffles me. I thought New Yorkers were supposed to be smart. Guess they are not.
Secondly, what's with the helping a strange kid you don't know pull down his pants and pee outside? Um, bad idea to say the least. Gross to tell a child to pee in a public park, and also completely inappropriate to get anywhere near the privates of a child you don't know.
Oh geez. The kid had to whiz. The nanny should have been on top of it. The OP did nothing wrong or inappropriate. I'd be more worried about my child falling off the pier than a responsible mom seeing his pee-pee.
dad,
It's not the responsible moms you have to worry about. Sure, nanny should have been on top of it. But come on: what century do you live in? It is a big deal. Any person who works with kids in a professional position would never let a stranger near their charges, especially in a bathrooming situation. It is only putting yourself at risk. Christ sake, parents have been arrested for taking pictures of their kids in the bathtub. Crazy, yeah. Reality, yeah.
Times have changed and we have to change with them.
To help pee or not to help pee....
@ Dad - in my area of NYC there are many kids and playgrounds. I have left toys overnight accidentally to return and find that no one had stolen it. I have had people look for me to return my toys, and I have done the same. We live in an area where people are regulars in the parks and playgrounds. I don't think I am stupid. Also, peeing in park is never good, but when a very young kid needs to go and there isn't a bathroom close by, sometimes hiding behind bushes is done (I haven't had my kid do it personally). It's obviously not first choice for anyone.
Back to business... Well, the same group was in Bleecker Playground this am, and the same nanny who was on cell was now yelling at charge (the youngest, whom I helped, right or wrong, and he was 3 or 4). Not sure what he did to get such an angry talking to but her tone was mean (and i am not opposed to yelling at my kid if he is on a jungle gym and doing something inappropriate, like pushing, i can holler with the best of them...but it did not appear that he had done something dangerous but i couldn't understand what she had said). Well, I guess it's better than ignoring him as she did the other day (at least she was aware of where he was!).
A while later, I came back to our stroller (there are two sections to this playground and people park their strollers near tables/benches or on side with benches) and my kid found that the same nanny had taken our bubble blower (two animal blowers, bubble dish and bubble jug) and was now letting her charges use them (she was assisting them).
I am almost 100% certain that I had placed these on top of my stroller canopy, but there is a small chance that I left them on the bench right next to stroller. I would have easily let them use a ball or cars quite frankly, but my kid was pretty upset to see strangers with his new bubble blowers in their mouths.
I came up and explained this belonged to my kid and he would like to use them now, that there were only two blowers and he wanted to share them with his friends. She gave me the FU look and turned away, the kids heard me and put down the stuff. No sorry, oops or thanks for letting us use them (I hadn't actually).
Before a war breaks out on this, here is our rule for the park. When we see something interesting that obviously belongs to someone else, we look for the owner (if they aren't right there) and we ask permission to use it. I have my kid do this even with his friend's toys when we are at the park. It's called good manners.
So today's sighting is not worth a new post, but since i have now noticed this nanny twice, I just wish the parent/s would find this.
good manners? oh please.
put your stuff away so that it is 100% concealed and then you can complain about someone else taking it.
smarten up.
As a New Yorker myself, I agree that it's pretty naive to leave your stuff out in the open, unattended, at a public playground and expect that no one is going to take it. Sure, taking other people's things without their permission is wrong, but that doesn't mean people won't do it, so if you don't want strangers taking your things, don't leave them out in plain sight unattended.
OP, I think it's great that you tried to do right by the kid and help him out. However, I would suggest next time letting nature take its course. Unfortunately, it seems as though the parents have not found this posting and now there is a little boy out there that thinks it's okay to let a stranger help him with his bathroom needs (and I understand that you had the best of intentions, but the next person may not) and if he'd had an accident, it might have brought something to the attention of the parent(s). While it isn't uncommon for a child that age to have an accident, it also wouldn't be uncommon for that same child to say, "I really had to go and I couldn't find Nanny anywhere!"
For the second sighting, yes, I agree with you that it is annoying when people "borrow" your toys without asking and it isn't something that my charge and I do - I agree with you that asking is good manners and appropriate. However, we also have an understanding that anything we bring to the park is brought to share.
I'm really glad you posted this, as if I were the parent, I would not be all right with my nanny ignoring my child, but I would be less all right with a stranger helping him with his bathroom business. I don't mean that as an insult to you - you clearly had no ulterior motive and were completely functioning in concerned mom mode - just that in concept, I would not be all right with my child allowing it and my nannying missing it. I hope you find the parent(s)!
I am so appreciative of this person taking the time to submit this sighting. Whether or not this individual helped the child is not the issue, the issue is that this child should never have been left in a situation that required a stranger's help with something so personal.
I agree with Jane. I think it was really brave of OP to help the little boy to go to the bathroom, and I don't think that meeting a caring stranger will make him less safe now, since he is obviously at an age where any contact with strangers should be monitored anyway! I also think that OP did not tell us about the toys to get our sympathy or playground tips, but really to illustrate the nanny's character. I really hope the parents see this.
Thanks Jane and Oh Well. I'd like to keep posting sightings... but the negative comments on my personal choices are annoying. I am pretty thick-skinned and really don't care if someone says I am not smart for what I do, but if people want to sightings to continue, they should know that others may be wary of the flamer's comments.
I think there is a distinct difference between being unnecessarily judgmental and stating a valid point. Like I have always said, there is a right and a wrong way to say something. OP, as I stated in my original comment I feel the post was a good one. Thank you for taking the time to post.
NYCMOM, don't be afraid to post again . . . often times people are more judgmental when hiding behind a computer monitor; after all, it's so much easier to judge a person's actions when you are reading a re-telling of an account (using hindsight) and not in the moment truly experiencing the situation. You sound like a truly kind hearted person, and this nanny sounds truly neglectful. Neglect can be just as damaging as abuse, let's hope this child doesn't get injured while "super" nannies busy texting.
I am also glad this was posted and I really hope the parents see it. But I'd have to agree with some others that your actions were entirely inappropriate. This is not "flaming" or being "judgmental," this is a serious issue, and it may or may not be legal.
If you teach a child it is OK to accept bathroom help from a total stranger, who's to say he won't continue to ask random people for help? A pedophile is not going to scare off the child, he (or she) is going to appear extremely helpful and friendly, which will put the child at ease...exactly the same way you did.
It would have been much more appropriate to help the child search for his nanny. If he ends up peeing himself, oh well. It isn't your problem and the child will not be emotionally scarred from it. But since this is all in the past anyway, I would suggest trying to become friendly with the child and nanny and possibly find out some contact information for the parents.
I am confused as to why so many people feel the need to insult NYCmom for leaving her child's bubble blower out or helping the little boy pee. I am a nanny in NYC and sometimes leave our side-walk-chalk or water guns or whatever unattended in the stroller, assuming it won't be taken. I also think it would be worse to see the child struggling and clearly needing to go the bathroom and just ignoring it so he peed in his pants. The poor kid may have had to run around in wet bottoms from the sound of this nanny.
The three year old I watch would certainly go home and tell her mother if she couldn't find me at the park or a stranger helped her pee, so who's to say this child didn't do the same?
My advice would be to talk to the kids and act nicely to the nanny and even arrange a play date because you could find out the parents info. this way and just tell them what you have been noticing about the nanny acting nasty to the child or ignoring him.
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