Received Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I have a problem with my current job. First, let me say, I care about the children I take care of but I have little interaction with the mother. She breezes in and out and seems to go out of her way to say things designed to make me feel unimportant. If I pass on to her some crucial information about a school activity, she gets snippy. But if I don't pass on the information, she misses it entirely and then the children's participation in the activity (requiring for example $10, a white t-shirt, a pair of running shoes that day) is compromised. I am a professional nanny in that I do not judge the mother for her behavior, although I have concerns. I treat her respectfully regardless of how she treats me or her children or our mutual contacts, (other nannies, mothers she thinks are beneath her). This is the background. She is a stay at home mother, by title only. I use the word "mother" loosely. I have been her nanny for the past seven months. Mother's day is approximately two weeks away. I am honest, I am here because I am a nanny and I get paid every two weeks; rain or shine. I don't get involved in any personal details of my family. As I stated, the mother is downright mean when I try and offer her reminders about something she has no care about. My problem is that perhaps out of fear, her previous nannies; and she has had about 10- have all done things for her for mother's day. This includes getting her flowers with their own money, working on Sunday for free to give her the day off, buying her gifts, spending weeks making something special with the children for her, even naming a star after her. How do I know this? The mother has mentioned mother's day a number of times to her children and told her that she does for them all year and they better have big plans for her. Has anyone else ever been in this situation? While, in my course of employment, I do not judge her; quite factually her children are neglected on a daily basis and emotional abuse is the norm. Will I lose my job if I don't fete mommy dearest? What is the least I can do? Is it damaging to children who's needs are not being met by their mother to make them write poems and plan a day saluting their mother for being loving, nurturing, giving? On an aside, I am a mother with a two year old daughter and all I want for mother's day is to spend it with my child and not think about my job.