Monday

Employer's Honeymoon Period with the Nanny is Over...

ISYN- Perspective & Opinion

I have a question for you. I am a mother of two and I have a nanny I adore. The first three months were perfect and everyone kept warning me that she would soon turn or grow lazy. There are some things that she has stopped doing and started doing that I don't like. What I want to know is how to redirect her to the first three months when she did everything right. This is something I know she can do since she did do it.

Some examples of what I am speaking about. The first three months, the nanny made homemade seven and nine grain bread and homemade peanut butter and made the girls sandwiches with fresh fruits and this homemade peanut butter. Then two weeks ago, she buys squeezable grape jelly and jiff when shopping. I wouldn't have minded if she started out this way. I just think she intentionally misrepresented herself. We did have a 4 week trial period.

Another thing she did was get angry at one of my daughters when she had diarhea in her pants. I did not hear about this from her, just from the other daughter. It's not like she screamed at her, but she did make her strip by the rose arbor and hosed off her body and bottom. The temperature was only in the mid sixties that day. Again, this is not huge, just another thing that doesn't jive with the personna she put forward first.

The nanny's ring tone used to be Bach or something classical. I am not in to classical music, but she stated she was and that she liked to play it for the children throughout the day. My girls are dancing and singing to Beyonce and some of the dancing is inappropriate for children my girl's age. (I have twins, both 3.5).

The nanny also stated that she did not take or make personal calls or use the computer during work hours. She stated she was very respectful of our privacy. Well she has been taking and making calls and texting throughout the day. The housekeeper reported this to me. The housekeeper only works twice a week for four hours each day.

As for respecting our privacy, the nanny has a room and bathroom in the basement. It is clean and modern. She lives in sometimes and lives out other times, based on what she has going on in her life and if we need her late. That alone is no problem. One thing that I found and disturbed me was pubic hairs in my bathtub on Friday after the nanny left. I also noticed before I noticed the hair in the tub that the nanny smelled like me. I know she was in my bathroom, in my toiletries and in my tub. This is not sanitary and upsets me, but I am loathe to mention this as I do not know a tactful way to do so.

Can this nanny/employer relationship be restored to how it was just say, two months ago?
Looking for input on your own situation? Email isynblog@gmail.com

39 comments:

Nanny in Sunny Beautiful Sandy Eggo said...

Wow....the hair in the bathtub and your daughter's pants...eeekkk.
After I get over these parts...I will submit my opinion. But one thing's for sure, I do feel for you. Your complaints are completely normal and I would feel the same as you do too. Except I do not think it is bad that your girls are dancing to Beyonce...she doesn't cuss in her music, etc. but if your girls are learning suggestive dance moves from their nanny at such a young age, then that is so wrong.
Definitely talk to your nanny. Approach said topic in a tactful manner and if she is a decent nanny, she will comply.

sistah devine said...

I would fire her for being a phony and playing you for a fool. She is not the person you hired. Fire her.

OnlyDadHere said...

If your kids are safe, happy and occupied I wouldn't sweat the other stuff. Baking homemade bread while looking after twins?... wow. I've never heard of anybody making homemade peanut butter. She sends some text messages and talks on the phone, so do I at my job. I like classical music but my kid gets bored if I play it. And finaly approaching her about finding her pube and smelling like you... idk could be awkward.

NYCNanny said...

I do not blame you for being upset. She represented herself as something that she wasn't and was on her best behavior during the trial period. Shes a phony. Who knows what else she might be doing behind your back. From the way that I look at it, you trusted her that she was who she said she was. She broke that trust and lied. There are too many wonderful, honest nannies out there looking for jobs right now who would be more deserving of this job than her! I really don't know that once trust has been broken that it can be repaired very easily at least in a nanny/employer relationship. You can try to talk to her but most likely she is just going to continue talking on the phone all day because you aren't there. She might not do it when the housekeeper is around but once that housekeeper is gone I am sure she will be right back at it. If you feel that she is worth keeping then you need to lay down the rules and have a long conversation with her. Don't keep this bottled up inside of you because thats not good for anyone. Good luck and keep us posted!!

momkat said...

Nope...this can't be saved. She represented herself as something's she's not and can't keep up the fake self. Get a new nanny.

monkeyshines said...

hosing the kid off outside? how much diarhea did she have? why didnt she just shower her off inside then clean out the tub? I would be real pissed if someone hosed my kid off out side no matter what he temp

anon reader said...

As I read this I actually became angry. To be honest I would have a one on one meeting with her. Be completely honest, tell her that you are very happy with her in general but there are a few things that need to be addressed. Tell her no more adult music, if she is tired of classical there are a ton of children's music to choose from. If making the homemade food is to difficult and time consuming she should have spoken to you first and prob brought organic. Remind her that your bathroom and bedrooms are off limits. Then bring up the diaharra issue. Maybe she had a good reason. I would also remind her that when she is with the children cell phones are off limits. You need her to know that your watching and paying attention. Your not some disttracted mother who doesn't see what's going on. If she gets angry I would fire her. She should after the convo change her ways and try to harder. After that I would have a meeting each month to see how she's doing and bring up any issues that needs to be addressed and also praise her for things you like. Remember she is your employee, you need to treat her like one but also like part of the family. I'm a nanny and I make sure to meet with my boss to talk about any changes or things she would like me to do. I love my job and I know that they can find a replacement or even put the child in daycare for cheaper. They treat me great and I'll do anything to keep my job (within reason)

Cher said...

Wow crazy - maybe she is having psychological problems. I can't believe she hosed down a child in the yard!

THE NANNY said...

Hi there. I think it would help if you sat your Nanny down and opened up the conversation with what she does right. Then I would go over some household rules once again, boundaries, nutrition for children, acceptable forms of music to expose your daughters to, your relaxed attitude towards any potty incidents. Re-establish the connection and your intentions for in-home care.This is your job as employer and though you probably feel reluctant to go head to head, face to face, it is the only logical approach. If such a conversation comes to naught you could invest in a small hidden camera and observe your nanny directly. If she is indeed presenting a false persona she must be dismissed as soon as possible.

MissMannah said...

I'm wanting to give the nanny the benefit of the doubt and hope that she's just gotten more comfortable with your family, rather than having misrepresented herself. The actions of hosing your daughter down and using your tub are the ones that really shocked me and I would absolutely reprimand her for it. (In a respectful way, not as if she's one of your kids.) The other minor things, you can casually bring up here and there. "Just wondering, why did you decide to buy bread and peanut butter? I think I'd gotten used to having your fantastic homemade treats around!"

Of course, if these things are not what you would consider minor, absolutely have a serious talk with her. You can't bury resentment because then you can never restore the relationship with her.

PS: As a nanny who loves her job, I am really offended by the "nannies always get lazy" comments your friends make.

Joanne said...

Years ago I was a live-in nanny to a family, and from time to time things would not go very well. The mother and I would have periodic chats about what was going well and what was not and work -- together! -- to fix them. We always tried to be respectful of each other's space and that seems to be missing here. I think you should definitely have a chat with her and open up with the positive, then move on to establishing an agreement about the food, the music, and use of cell phones during defined work hours.

That said, the parts about using your bathroom AND your toiletries is just gross. Plus, there would have to be extraordinary circumstances involved in hosing off a child outside; maybe you should ask her what happened in that specific instance?

twitch said...

When I was a nanny, I was a pretty sorry excuse for the nanny. Mostly I partied, slept late, called in and had little tolerance for things like crapsidents. If the kids were normal, I was great with them, but hell no with the cleaning of the BM. I hosed off kids all the time because I didn't want to bring it inside and make a mess. Plus with some of the power wash type attachment tools, you can blow the crap right out of their clothes and in to the neighbor's garden. I kid, we had no neighbors. If we had neighbors, I wouldn't have done it because I didnt want the kids exposing themselves. I remember a five year old frequent crapper that I had to hose about ten times. Once he was crying because the pressure was too high. It didn't leave any marks. As a compromise, I didn't rat him out to his evil father and he didn't rat my extracurricular activities out to his mary sunshine mother.

VAnanny said...

Most of these are completely valid concerns. You should bring them to her attention so you can prevent any further issues. But I have to ask...how do you know it was her pubic hair? And not yours? I'm just wondering. And not all nannies are lazy fakes! Good luck!!!

VAnanny said...

And Twitch: I really hope you are kidding. If not, you are the kind of nanny that gives us honest and loving nannies a bad name.

GermanNanny said...

As for the hosing - I, as a German, find nothing bad about that. But then again, we are not as crazy about nakedness as Americans (without wanting to say that one point of view is better than the other). Maybe the nanny is from another country and just didn't think it would offend everybody that much?
Just as an example, I was at the playground with my babysitting child on saturday and there were 3 young boys (around 2 years old) who were running around without pants/underpants...

Village said...

WOW-Hosing down a child outside in 60 degree weather? Would you want that done to you? I see that as a problem.

The tub is a problem too. It's a boundary issue. And she doesn't appear to have any. She is bathing in your tub and using your perfumes, and not cleaning the tub when she is done. It's even scarier to think you might have not found out. BUT, where are the children while she is lounging in your tub? Who is watching the kids?

I'm not sure talking can fix this. People who don't understand boundaries don't suddenly get them. And people who set out to deceive . . . . no good can come from that.

But not all nannies collapse after a couple months. There are good nannies out there, and the goods ones should be treated with respect and affection, so they are happy and stay with the family who shows their appreciation.

Phoenix said...

My question is where were your kids when she was taking this bath?

this post written by a nanny said...

I agree with the replies to have a chat with your nanny. Please remember that although this person lives in your home (sometimes), she is your employee and you are her boss.

As with any job, feedback is needed to confirm the job is being performed properly or inform where improvements are needed.

When someone is in your home, it is their workplace. Boundaries are tested, as with her being in your room/bathtub. As far as your nanny is concerned, this is not crossing any boundaries because it hasn't been brought to her attention.

You could take this time to figure out what your personal boundaries are, as well as any other rules you feel need brought to her attention.

Be courteous but don't be nice. She has done some things that have upset you. While there's no need to yell at her about these things, she deserves to know how you really feel about her actions. No need to sugar coat everything.

Who's really in charge here? You are, not your nanny. She should be the one feeling uneasy, not you. Clearly she feels right at home, in your home.

(this post written by a nanny)

anon opinion said...

I would say you have some valid concerns. I would say you need to prioritize their importance. I also would never tell someone you or your friends thought they would turn out to be lazy. If you have any hope for resolution, you want to approach the situation in that manner.

Think about you or your husband starting a new job. I would venture to guess you tried very hard in the beginning stages of your job. Then as you eased into your job, there were some things you changed and some things you kept. Does this mean you misrepresented yourself as an employee? I would say no. I would say you developed realistic expectations of your job.

I have run a nanny agency for the past several years. Prior to that, I was a live-in nanny for many years.

I would say you need to communicate your needs, wants, and expectations to the nanny. You also need to be open to hearing what the nanny has to say. Think of some real life examples of how you would have handled a situation and then present that with her in a discussion format. What would you have done if your child had diarreah dripping down her legs? Would you have carried her through the house with poop splattering throughout your path? Do you have any towels in the outside area the nanny could have made use of? You need to remember nannies are doing the best they can do sometimes, if no prior plans are in place. At the end of the day, it is your house and your children. Did you have things in place for this emergency situation?

I would say if the nanny has time to make homemade food and items such as bread and peanut butter, great. However, realistically, how long is she away from your 3.5 year old children while that is being done? As a mother, could you complete the same task and be vigilantly watching your children?

I would say that generally there is no personal phone usage while a nanny is working. With that being said, I also have parents that text their nannies all day to check in on the child. You need to decide what your policy is and stick to it. If it's no cell phone usage, you need to realize, your nanny's phone will be off and she might not be able to return your call right away (should you call or text).

If you go into a family/nanny situation with the mindset that it's not going to work, it won't. If you go into the scenario with an open mind and communication on both sides, the relationship has a better chance of working.

As far as your bathroom situation, I would talk with the nanny and tell her that she is only allowed to use the bathroom on her floor for showering purposes. As it is your home, you should be providing her with basic products to use in that bathroom (shampoo, soap, toilet paper). I say this because she is not a full-time live in nanny. If she lived there full time, she would be able to plan her stays and her cleansing needs. Based on the fact that she rotates based on your needs and her circumstances, I would discuss this with her and see what you can do to be accommodating as well. It is not often you can find an individual to live on your terms. If you think you have a potentially good match, work it out.

Every person is going to have strengths and weaknesses. You can go through 15 childcare providers before you realize this or you can make it a workable scenerio for both of you.

Best of luck.

cali mom said...

Hmmmm. I'd say that such things as making homemade bread and peanut butter are fantastic, it's beyond reasonabe to expect such exras to continue indefinitely. Maybe your kids didn't particularly like her chunky, oily, non-sweetened fantastic organic homemade version of peanut butter, so she decided to try a more workable appproach? You could certainly go over some nutritional guidelines and let her know that if she is buying peanut butter for the kids, to stick with a certain brand, or all natural ingredients, etc. I suspect she felt some lack of appreciation for this extra effort so she is doing what any normal person would do on a job where extra work was not being acknowledged.

If you don't pay for her cell phone, you can't dictate her ring tone. Sorry. You are however completely within your rights to set limitations on personal calls and texts while she is on duty but depending on her hours and the fact that she likely does NOT have such a thing as a lunch-break or 10 minute break, you have to be reasonable about things like her needing to schedule an appointment. Seriously, do you call your doctor's office at 7PM or on a Sunday to schedule yours? Or your hairstylist? I thought not.

I dunno, I have to go with VAnanny and ask how you knew it her her pube and not yours in the shower? I can only assume hers are a distinctly different color than yours, but she should not be using your products or your bathroom if she has her own available, so you should address that.

Being angry about a poop accident and hosing off the diarrhea is a big one. If the kids had been playing outside in a wading pool, it might make sense, but if they were just walking back home from the playground it would make more sense to go inside to take care of it and a child that age should never be made to feel bad for having an accident. The only cause for annoyance would be if a child were purposely releasing it whenever and wherever as an avoidance of potty use, but that would require special attention to the potty-training issue, not a fit of anger, so this should definitely be addressed.

So, I would definitely have a meeting with her and go over things in a matter of fact, professional way, (not accusatory!), but one more suggestion is to leave some information on preschools or group daycares where you suspect she will notice it. In other words-it will remind her that she is not the only option you have for childcare, so that if she plans to blow off everything you say in the meeting, she may realize again that she NEEDS to do the job according to your requirements or risk losing it.

NervousNanny said...

The only things I want to address really are the peanut butter thing and the music. It might just be that she likes to do that once in a while. If it wasn't something you asked of her, it could be a thing she only does here and there, when she has the time and the inclination. It's quite possible she wanted to impress you with her kitchen skills as well, but if it really bugs you mention it.

The music might also be something that is varied. She could like classical music and play it often, but the children might be interested in Beyonce due to TV or other friends. I know the "Kids Bop" cds use Beyonce songs and those commercials are on constantly! Or even just in the car. Again, if that bothers you, speak to her.

As to the other stuff, I think that if you don't want her using your bathroom just tell her. Does she have a bathtub? Maybe she wanted a bath and assumed it would be alright, then used your bubble bath or something. It's not necessarily right, but it's quite possible it was a misunderstanding.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm making excuses, I am just trying to give alternate viewpoints for you to consider since the first thing you said was that you had a nanny you "adore". If you adore her, please speak with her about your concerns in a non-confrontational way.
There is a "honeymoon" period in any job where you are constantly trying to impress the boss, but there should never be a huge difference in behavior when it's over. (that was longer than intended, sorry!)

SDNanny said...

Wow, As a nanny you just made me mad, I have hosed down my charge outside after he played in the mud, but then he went straight to the bath. Mom knows about it and told me to do it as not to make a mess in the tub, little cold water aint gonna hurt.

As for making the bread, Yah I sometimes cook for my familys, but they do not expect it all the time like you are doing. I do it when I feel like it and some times it is weeks in a row.

As for her smelling like you, Dont you think she could buy the same products as you. I know my boss and I wear the same perfume and also use the same deoderant guess what we also use the same toothpaste too! OH NOES I MUST BE USING HERS CAUSE MY BREATH SMELLS LIKE HERS

I text and talk on the phone while working, but my convos are 5 minutes long to my own parents and siblings. But it surely isnt taking away my attention from the kids, in fact the kids are talking to them too.

And dancing like beyonce, You dont have to teach kids these day in ages how to dance. they figure it out on there.

As far as the pube goes, Sure it isnt yours or your husbands? If it was in her bathtub in the room you provide for her, why are you going in there? that should be part of her private space.

Bry said...

Was she asked to make home made foods or was she just doing out of her enjoyment? She might have come to realize it was to much work and to stressing to continue doing this.

As for the hosing your child off, I agree that it was a little cold that day to be doing that, but on warm days it is a fast mess free way of cleaning off a child, especially with 3 year old twins. Tubs work but then she would have had to clean out the tub and not have been able to watch your children. As well at that age being naked is different than it is now. Little kids take baths together, change in public changing rooms, etc.

for the Classical maybe your children did not enjoy it, as you do not. However I would suject that they listen to the music and not watch music videos, and songs that are apropriate, no sex, drugs, partying or swearing. Maybe you could give her a CD of appropriate music that isn't all little kid songs, those can get annoying.

As for the cell phone issue almost everyone, unless they work somewhere like retail or food, and they get break times, takes personal calls from time to time. And I bet that as a mom you talk on the phone and are not always playing with your children when you are home. Sometimes kids play alone or with each other and do not always need constant adult attention. When I was a nanny for a baby boy ( i was his nanny for 5 months, 3-8 months of age) I would sometimes leave him on the floor and go to another part of the room where I could see him but he couldn't see me. Because of this he learned to do things himself and now does not need constant attention and if he wants something he has learned how to crawl for it, he is about 9 months now.

However, I would talk to her about the lying. It isn't a huge deal if she takes a couple of personal calls/text when the kids are awake and when they are napping she should be allowed to have a break, but lying to you is a different issue.

The fact that you have a bathroom for your nanny to use and she still used yours is odd. Instead of mentioning what you found in the bathroom say something like I notice that things were out of place and hopefully she will confess up. Also look at investing a lock for your bedroom/bathroom and anther rooms you want left private. She might not have felt that using it was out of place (however cleaning up is gross and disrespectful). My last employer didn't care if I used her bathroom or was in her bedroom.

I honestly think it is miscommunications between you guys and that these problems can be worked out, with a little bit of undersstanding and forgiveness from each other.

anonynanny said...

About the phone calls- How do you know it wasn't people calling her, and her answering to make sure nothing was wrong and then telling them to call back? I do that all the time at my job... my sister calls, I answer and hear what she has to say if it's quick, or I tell her what time I get off work if it's just to chat. And you never said she said she wasn't texting, just calling.

Most of these things sound like you don't really have a problem with them, except that she changed. Has she been a nanny before? If not, maybe she didn't realize how demanding the job was, and got tired of juggling things around so she could make the homemade stuff. She might have changed her ringtone because your daughters got bored of the Bach and wanted something more upbeat, so your nanny found some pop.

The bathtub thing is the one thing that does concern me, because when did she take a bath? While she was supposed to be watching your kids? I don't know if there's really a good way to put it. I guess I would say something like "I noticed some things out of place in the bathroom. It made me realize that I never let you know that I actually view this bathroom as my own space, and it would be great if you could stick to the other bathroom." That's awkward-sounding, I know. You could reword that though.

Really, you just need to address all of this with HER rather than just stewing about it. Passive-aggression is one of the most annoying qualities in a boss.

world's best nanny said...

Get the problem out on the table now before things get a chance to fester.

How many employers have switched horses mid stream? "Oh, I am ALWAYS home by 6 pm." 3 months into the job and she's showing up at 6:30-7pm.
Or how about "Just throw some stuff in the washer if you have time." That becomes "Why are the kids clothes still sitting there?" "Shouldn't you get on it?"

Back yard shower said...

Just have to say I'm one of the camp that would find nothing odd about hosing a kid down in the yard. I think it's an up-bringing thing, really. At my house it was common to grab the hose and rinse yourself off before coming inside if you were messy from playing in mud or sand. It keeps the mess from joining you inside!

One of my first jobs, my 11 year old charge got in a mud fight with some friends and afterward despite efforts to be careful tracked mud through the house and really screwed up the shower. His mom made him clean up his own mess, but told me to hose him off my thoroughly next time! Although admittedly since he was 11 the clothes would stay on.

Phoenix said...

Maybe she took the bath after she cleaned off your kid. She may have felt grosse...

Vanessa said...

I agree that she misrepresented herself, but the things that bother you are not really a big deal. She bought jelly? OH MY GOSH WHATEVER ARE YOU GOING TO DO? You bought jelly before she worked for you, so I don't see why it's a big deal now. She got mad? Oh God forbid a nanny ever gets mad or frustrated. Your daughters sing and dance to Beyonce? Horrible.

Come on. If your kids are happy with her and love her, then you should be happy too. Unless she's doing something that is risking their safety or hurting them in any way, you should just get over it.

Lindsey said...

I love how everyone tries to come up with all kinds of scenarios as to why the nanny did the things she did, it's hilarious. Mom said it was 60 degrees outside, I doubt the kids were swimming, or in the mud or even doing anything that would remotely be considered "hose worthy." The mom would have included details had there been any notable. She hosed that kid down as a punishment. To let her know she better not shit in her pants again. The other sister wouldn't have said anything if they were having a gay ole time.

This lady WAY misrepresented herself. Bach? Homemade peanut butter? Ya right, I'm surprised she kept it up as long as she did. She figured once she was really in she could let the facade go.

She is using your bathroom, and your stuff. She is going through your dresser, riffling through you closets and probably talking shit to her friends about how stupid you are and how easy it was to fool you.

This is definitely not your fault because she did such a good job lying. But you need to go with your gut, its never wrong. Something is up and this girl is not legit. Get her out before your kids get hurt. One lie always leads to another.

VAnanny said...

Wow Lindsey. I think you are being a bit dramatic. I think this may just simply be a boundary issue. I could be wrong but then again, so could you. Talking shit about how stupid MB is? Really? Come on!

Lindsey said...

VAnanny,

You're right, I could be way off. But so are you if you think that nannies don't sit behind MB back and talk smack, you are highly mistaken. While of course there are always nannies that don't there are a lot of them that do, and it is usually the ones like the one described by OP who have no respect, and could careless about what MB thinks. It's a good things her daughters are old enough to tell her whats going on. Can't imagine what would be going on if babies were involved.

VAnanny said...

That is a generalized statement. Not ALL nannies "talk smack" about their employers. I am a nanny as are several friends and family members. There is a difference between venting about your day and talking rudely about the employer. Anyway, it's a moot point anyway. This nanny hardly seems like the malicious monster you make her out to be. But, as I said earlier, I could be wrong. We will never really know.

UtahNannyfor5moredays said...

This is a joke, right?!?

world's best nanny said...

Sorry mommies but most of the nannies I know talk smack about their employers once in a while.

This is our job, your house is our place of business and just as you blow off steam about your bosses so do we.

nancy said...

The nanny has her own room and bathroom in the basement. So, shouldn't her pubes be there?

I know you don't like anonymous comments, but AOL is not letting me post with a Name/Url.

-nancy from Texas

moniker? said...

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, don't listen to half of what these people are saying about firing her. Watch The Nanny, with Scarlet Johanson. I think you will get a huge reality check. I am a nanny, and the past family I worked for let me use their computer all the time when their kids got old enough to play on their own and would rather play Wii than with me. I was there to make them healthy meals, or just meals, depending on what the kids wanted, and to keep them safe. I understand that your girls probably want to play with her, but even nannies need breaks, just like you do at your job. The only difference is that it is the LAW to give you a break, there is nothing in the Employment standards act about babysitting. Currently I am a nanny for a baby, and he is a handful that whenever he is occupied with himself, I have to get the house chores done then or when he naps. I have little break time to eat my lunch or anything. But when I do have free time, i USE it. Trust me, I have been a nanny a long time, and have worked in many other fields, and every other field I have worked in, my coworkers have slacked during times where it wasn't busy, but really shined when needed. You need to examine her when the girls have fits or fight. At 3.5, the only things you can expect from her are to watch them, play with them if THEY ask (their twins, they may want alone time as well), cook, and read to them. Don't be so demanding. She was obviously trying to impress you before with the homemade stuff but maybe discovered that your girls are too much work to add all the bells and whistles.

As for pubes, and smelling like you.... she could have borrowed some shampoo when she was out of it or something, normal people aren't bothered by you, and pubes? what do you expect her to lay off her personal grooming because she isn't showering in her own home?

lifesun said...

as a great,caring nanny i find this so ridiculous.

I like classical music, I love kids, I love teaching them about art ect.

some familys have told me because i am younger and don't look like a typical nanny type (colored hair eyebrow pierce(which i take out or interviews) they did think it was a charade at first and wouldn't have hired me if i wasn't referred but soon realized that thats really honestly and truly what i am like.

I agree with lindsey! this fraud cannot be trusted and I believe the people defending her cant either there are great nanny's out there so do not put up with this!

chances are if she does take what you say well she will just become better at hiding things from you! fire her asap!

s0nicfreak said...

I have nothing against public nudity, but hosing diarrhea off outside means that diarrhea was outside! In your yard, or wherever! That is a public health hazard!! Cleaning the kid off with a shower would mean the diarrhea goes down the drain and to a water treatment plant, instead of into your yard, spreading whatever caused the diarrhea to your family and neighbors. If she was my nanny, she'd be fired simply for not knowing that.

LAMOM said...

Regardless of whether or not people agree with your specific requirements for the job, she misrepresented herself. She did not respect your boundaries, which means she is not likely to respect your kids' boundaries either. Using your bathtub is a strange possibly-hostile thing to do. From past experience, I would imagine this stuff is the tip of the iceberg.