30 June, 2010

I don't want all the way out.

Received Wednesday, June 30, 2010
rant 2 I have gotten entangled in something I did not mean to. My employers just had a fifth anniversary this May. They have a large home and two little buildings on the home so during the anniversary party which was kind of like a wedding, since they never had a real wedding, I got in very tight with the family. I was taking care of the children of my employer. Many times they would play with cousins at the adults feet when gathering so I would sit and chat. They seemed genuinenly interested in me. About four days after they returned home, I got a $250 gift certificate to Bloomingdales which was directly relevant to me talking about my husband moving up in his job. So she thought of me, I know because she had told me specifically to shop the sales at Bloomingdales and I would always have good party attire. So then, I get this gift certificate. I called and told her. I felt I had to mention it to my employers. One morning I said, "This weird but wonderful thing happened to me, I received a gift certificate in the mail" they both looked at me, "and it was from Mrs. X" (My male employer's sister). So he just smiled and she shook her head. The husband said, "they couldn't say enough about how great you were with kids". I didn't meantion the amount not to defraud them but because hey they aint paupers and neither am I. Anyway two days later I get an email from sister #2. She sent me some links to some blogs about parenting tips and things. I wrote her back. She wrote me back. I didn't mention this to my employers. First, I never saw it going anywhere and second, I don't report to anyone. In recent days it has escalated on a very bad side. They keep saying (in the nicest words) the worst things about my female employer and how she is a gold digger and telling me about her past. They even gave me a google article about her. The whole time they are talking to me, they are just concerned for their brother. And pumping me gently for info. I haven't given ANY info, I haven't. And that isn't my problem. I can distance myself from them gradually and keep doing my job. The problem is I need my job. Now I know a whole lot of stuff I shouldn't know and they know I know. I just don't know what happens nest. Sister #2 called me once today and sister #1 called me four times today and twice yesterday. I shot back one breezy email. I don't want all the way out. I just want to keep earning and keep my head above water.

27 June, 2010

Moving....

Need apartment in Park Slope or Bay Ridge; Move in date scheduled for August 15, 2010. Prefer 3 bedrooms; 2 will do. Must be proximal to parks, elmentary school and children's activities. Must accomodate two amazing children and two small, wonderfully well trained dogs. Building should be safe, cheery, lots of lighting. Returning to school full time, so tenant has budget. We'd be the best tenants! If you have ideas, please write me isawyournanny@aol.com .

26 June, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, June 26, 2010
june cl wtf 5
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Unique family seeks open-minded nanny (Boston)
Hello :) We are currently seeking a nanny for our three children. We have a 4 year old daughter, a 6 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. We would be looking for someone who is flexible during the week and who can offer an occassional weekend (though this would be very rare). Even better if you are looking for a live-in position, but not neccesary. Our family is very unique so we would need you to be very open-minded. For starters, we are naturists. If you do not know what that is, please google it before contacting us. We would be looking to pay around $25 per hour. Please contact us if you are interested and include information about yourself and your experience as well as a contact number so we can call you to set up an appointment. Thank you!
URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/nos/kid/1805251143.html
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Special thanks to jessicamparra for our Feature. Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Contribution: ladybugblessingscrafts, MissDee, mbargielski, nirvanalives, sarahvargas1, Cinder38, Cafegirl_78, nannybee, ISYNmeebo190925, HungryCollegeStudent and MichelleNelson... all of you did an amazing job! We really appreciate the extra help lately! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And don't forget to include the Links!

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25 June, 2010

H & M on East 86 and Lexington Ave in NYC

Received Friday, June 25, 2010
nanny sighting
I just spent over 2 hours at H & M on East 86 and Lexington Ave. I love to watch babies and as I was waiting for over 30 minutes for a fitting room, the woman in the picture walk by with a red stroller and a deeply sleep baby boy, about 9 to 12 months old, very fair skin and blond hair. They got in the elevator and went to the second floor. I had a lot of stuff to try on so I spent another 30 minutes in the dressing room. As I got on the line to pay for the stuff I bought, I noticed the same woman right infront of me on line. The store was jam packed, as if they were giving the clothes for free, so we waited on line at least another 20 minutes. I could not help but looking at this beautiful baby still so deeply asleep. I could not believe that with the loud music inside the store and all the people around talking so loud they were almost screaming, that this baby would still not wake up. He had a very shallow respiration and did not move one single finger the whole time!
When the time came for the nanny to pay what she had bought (almost $100 worth), she left the stroller on the side, a few feet away from her, it almost got lost in the sea of people around us.
isyn nanny h and m
From my observations, this baby had been doped or had been given something to sleep. I casually said to the woman,"what a sound sleeper the baby is!" She got kind of nervous but did not answer.
I am sorry I could not take a better picture of the woman or the baby, the lines were so long and it was so crowded, I am lucky I got a picture without raising her suspicion. The woman was about 5 feet tall, Spanish origin, had a dark pink blouse (fitted her too tight) and jeans. She wore a pair of glasses with very thick black frame with fake rhinestones on the side.
If you recognize her please tell the parents to do a toxicology on the baby, I have children myself, as well as nieces and nephews. No baby sleeps like that, without moving, in such noisy and hot conditions, somehting is not right.

Dow Park in Deer Park, TX

Received Friday, June 25, 2010
nanny sighting
Perverted Grandpa?
Physical description of caregiver: I'm guessing 6 ft tall. Yellow shirt, khaki shorts wearing a baseball cap. He had gray hair and I believe he had a goatee. I did get a picture, but I cannot find my usb cord. This is a small area and I'm sure if the parents see this, they will know who I am talking about.

Physical description of involved child/children:
Girl looked to be 6 or 7. I believe she had on a blue shirt and denim shorts.

Address or venue of observed incident: Dow Park in Deer Park, TX. There was a live band playing under the pavilion. I witnesses this incident on the playground.

Date and time of incident: Late evening

Detailed description of what you witnessed: The man was helping her climb something that she appeared perfectly capable of climbing on her own. While she was standing on this thing, he had his hand cupping her butt and he appeared to caress her upper thigh with his other hand. He followed her very closely as she made her way around the park. They were only there 5-10 minutes before some other family members joined them and they went to a different area. I really hope he is not molesting her, but I hope the parents will question her if they see this.

Welles Park in Chicago, Il

Received Friday, June 25, 2010
nanny sighting
Nanny Sighting
6/24 @ 1pm
sighting in chi town
I'm uncertain which kids belong to which nanny, 5 kids total approached them during the hour I was there. (4 boys, 1 girl) These nannies were very neglectful. One of their kids (2yr old boy?) sat in a swing for 30 min while they sat there chatting. He didn't get pushed in the swing at all and was trying to escape the whole time. His older brother (7 yrs?) Came over and yelled at one of the nannies to take him out of the swing. All of the kids were just wandering around without any supervision or interaction. I know this sighting doesn't sound very extreme, but I am sick of seeing lazy nannies! Everyday my boss and I (I'm a nanny) see nannies ignoring their charges and we're sick of it. We're going to do better at taking photos and sending them in.

10 ways for Nanny to feel welcome in your home...

Received Friday, June 25, 2010
rant 1 Nannies are people, not superheros........sounds like a "duh" statement I know, but did you know there are people who think Nannies are impervious to "normal, everyday life" because they are employed to work with children.......you know, the children that may have gotten an early call on their life to throw a tantrum at every "no?"

While "she" may be a "hero" in our eyes from time to time because she got Trevor to eat his broccoli or got Elle to clean up her toys without a promise of a treat, she's just doing her job.......but let me re-phrase, she sees it more than "just a job." Nanny chose to watch your children. She wants to help your children learn & grow. She wants to help you by helping them.

So here are 10 ways you can make your new Nanny feel welcome ---because she chose your family just as much as you chose her.

1. Make or buy a "welcome home" card. Even if she's not a live-in Nanny, she will be employed within your home, so a welcome home card is totally fitting. If children are of age to help, perhaps have them make it.

2. Find out what foods/snacks she likes and stock your pantry/fridge with her favorites.

3. Introduce her to your extended family so when you are talking with her about them, she knows of whom you are referring and will feel attached to the conversation.

4. Share with her your favorite lunch spots and offer to pay for her lunch a couple of times a month, she will feel included in "your life."

5. Encourage her to join a Nanny Support Group. They are essential in Nanny's life as it offers an outlet to speak with other professional Nannies about the daily experiences.

6. Show her you value her by remembering her birthday and anniversaries. Have the children make cards and/or presents.

7. Immediately include her in parenting decisions so she's always on the same page, you will gain her gratitude.

8. Speak to her as you would a good friend. She will always remain the professional and not take advantage of your kind words.

9. When you see your Nanny stepping out and really going above and beyond, reward her for it.

10. Always, always, always, talk with her about your concerns away from the children. She will be very thankful for your decision to do so.

Most of all.......let her know what a huge help she is to you and your family!

Third Street Playground, Prospect Park, Park Slope, Brooklyn NY

Received Friday, June 25, 2010
negative emoticon 1
Latina, late 30's/early 40's nanny. Long, black hair. Large belly, pregnant
One small boy, white - 1 1/2 yrs perhaps, brown hair
Third Street Playground, Prospect Park, Park Slope, Brooklyn NY
Thurs 6/24/10, 11:30am
Child was crying. Nanny, unresponsive to crying, drags child by arm to water-spray-feature, drags him into water and gets him soaked, and he bangs his head against metal water feature. Kid starts crying even more, nanny is still unresponsive, says nothing, drags him back out by his arm and away to their bench. Observed again later lifting child by one arm after he tripped, several times. Not a loving or sympathetic nanny AT ALL. I would be afraid for what she does when alone with the kid.
Maclaren double stroller, maybe red and black? Possibly working with another nanny to care for two children.
Photobucket
Photobucket

23 June, 2010

Cambridge Common Park in Cambridge MA

Received Wednesday, June 23, 2010
not a sighting
On Tuesday, 6/22 I was at Cambridge common park in Cambridge MA. It's a fun new playground that was recently built, it's a little dangerous if children aren't supervised.
Anyways this post has nothing to do with a sighting, it has to do with trash. Why are people leaving trash on top of the solar power trash compactor when it's full? Seriously children play two feet away from this trash and parents/caregivers are putting dirty open diapers on top because they are to lazy to take it with them or put in the trash can right outside the park. My nanny friend and I shouldn't have to pull the trash can from outside in and pick up the dirty diapers and trash with plastic bags over our hands. I don't want my charges or other children having to play around that or even smell it. So please if you go to that park please please keep it clean.
I'm also reporting it to Cambridge public works, because they need to empty that trash can asap.

22 June, 2010

Creekside Park in Dana Point, California off Stonehill

Received Tuesday, June 22, 2010
negative emoticon 1
Physical description of caregiver: Older lady in her early to mid 60's, gray hair, Caucasian.

Physical description of involved child/children: Two little boys, one was about 2 and the other 4. I think the youngest one's name was Edward. Both boys had on plaid shorts and tee shirts. Both boys had dark brown shaggy hair and may have been part Asian.

Address or venue of observed incident: Creekside Park in Dana Point, California off Stonehill

Date and time of incident: Friday, June 18th

Detailed description of what you witnessed: The nanny read a book the whole time and rarely even looked at the boys. I never saw her talk or interact with the boys in the 45 minutes or so that we were there. The older boy was having to help his little brother do everything and a few times almost dropped him when trying to lift him. Luckily I was there and lent assistance. The nanny noticed I was playing with the boys and never came over to check on them. I finally walked up to her and asked her if the kids were with her because I felt the younger boy was in danger, it being a very busy park with an extremely busy road right next to it. She said she was their nanny and went back to reading her book. I suggested she keep a closer eye on him as he was wandering around very close to the road, and she looked up and told me she was and then went back to reading her book. This woman clearly has no business watching kids, so I hope the parents see this and fire her immediately!

Senaca Park in Chicago, Il

Received Tuesday, June 22, 2010
negative emoticon 1 This nanny text for 2 hours on 6/21, ignored baby in stroller while he cried until she noticed my dirty looks. Paid no attention to the toddler she was watching. He got stuck on playground equipment twice and I helped him. He was even playing with dog poop!!! I pointed this out to her and she wiped his hands with a baby wiped and continued to text. Toddler could of and would of injured himself if I wasn't there, and someone could of easily abducted him. Children were Asian. One under 1 yr of age the other around 2 yrs old wearing a blue tshirt with sharks. I wouldn't let her watch my pet fish, let alone precious children!!! Tried to follow her so I could find mom, but she went into Borders on Michigan Ave and I had to feed my own children.
I SAW YOUR NANNY

21 June, 2010

Nanny Watcher

Received Monday, June 21, 2010
troubled emoticon Dear mother at the park,

Why yes that was my charge whining less then a foot away from me in the sand, while I tried to help the other children (who's parents we're sitting back relaxing) get the water to run into the water table so everyone can play.

Yes, he was upset because I stepped away for less then a mintue so that he could enjoy the water table as well.

There was no reason for you to come up behind me and ask "who's baby is that". You knew exactly who's baby it was, because you we're watching me the entire time I sat in the sand and at the water table playing with him.

Sure I was there sitting in the sand with another nanny playing with our charges and talking about teething *gasp*I never once was ignoring him or talking on my phone so I would really appreciate it if you focused on your own child, Instead of walking all the way across the sand area to make a remark. By the way your daughter was left unattended while you walked over.

And for your information, he is teething and instead of pumping him up with tylenol and oragel his parents and I choose a more natural way of treating it....teething biscuits and distraction. So a little whinning is natural and unharmful.

Thanks for your concern but next time try playing and forcusing on your own child.

Best wishes,
Nanny from the park.

19 June, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, June 19, 2010
june cl wtf 2
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Looking for 2 ladies for 2 different jobs 1 Nanny & 1 Assistant (New York)
my assistant will need resume and must have experience with sales as in cashier if you have ever been a cashier before and you are 18 and up then you can apply as my assistant you will need 2 forms of ID and the pay is great around $300 or so a week

for the nanny you will have to watch 2 kids ages 4 and 6 months the 4 year old is independant so thats very easy..

i can compensate the nanny daily the pay for the nanny is $5 an hr plus bonus like my job is international so i can also give the nanny things like movie tickets to any movies or anythings they may need personally i can get like house hold items and things like tampons gorceries gift certificates to places like applebees fridays etc.. tthe nanny is expected to be part of my family i want to trust her and we can be friends someone cool down to earth and open minded no drinking oe smoking around the kids, but we an also hang out sometimes n go shopping and i dont mind picking u up some cute outfits as well.. the nanny is good for a young lady or older woman with no way of getting a real job, and i can also leave money for chinese food
URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/kid/1788532367.html
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Wow... what an eclectic mix of eccentric Ads this week! Special thanks goes to HungryCollegeStudent for our Feature! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Contribution: Kate, nannybee, Michelle.Nelson, alwaysangelnbuffy, Miranda, mbargielski, afnt81, krupitzerb, KateOaks and Cinder38... all of you did an awesome job! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And don't forget to include the Links!

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18 June, 2010

In the News

Baby Hospitalized With Blood-Alcohol Level of .33
An Atlanta babysitter was jailed after admitting she gave a potentially lethal amount of wine to an infant in her care, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported late Wednesday. Tammy Denise Truitt, 41, confessed in court to giving the nine-month-old baby boy wine in a sippy cup to make the infant fall asleep.

Mother AND Nanny Abuse Toddler
The Colleton County Sheriff’s Office said Thursday that the mother of a 2-year-old girl and the girl’s babysitter have been charged with child abuse after an incident Wednesday that left the toddler in critical condition.
The Sheriff’s Office said medics responded to the babysitter’s home on Fourth Street in Walterboro after a 911 call shortly after 10 am and found that the child was not breathing and had “numerous amounts of trauma in various stages of healing."

Fred Portella, 44, Said To Have Participated In Act With Woman & Her 15-Year-Old Babysitter
A shocker in the northern suburbs: a correction officer who recently ran for school board is charged with raping a teenager. Elyse Mahoney reacted with disbelief to the rape charge against her neighbor, 44-year-old Fred Portella, a Westchester County correction officer for 21 years who last month ran unsuccessfully for a seat on the Lakeland school board.

Boy Watched by Sitter Hit by Car
A 4-year-old boy who was hit in Phoenix by a car that fled the scene earlier this week remained in the hospital Friday with life-threatening injuries.
Maricopa County Superior Court documents state that doctors indicated the boy sustained internal decapitation.

Trial Ordered in Toddler's Death
Dr. P. Douglas Kelley testified Thursday that a 22-month-old toddler did not sustain all these injuries in an accidental fall down stairs, as the boy's babysitter Renee Kuehl claimed following his death in November 2007.

Negotiating Paris...

Received Friday, June 18, 2010
perspective and opinion Hi, I was hoping to get this posted so I could get some advice.

I am moving to Paris, France, and am in the negotiation stage of becoming a nanny. The family has 2 children aged 4 and 7, with a somewhat stay-at-home mother and a father who is frequently in another country. The family already employs a housekeeper and is looking for an additional nanny for the 2 children, and from where they live it is obvious they are well off. I would be live-out, and besides caring for the children (cooking lunch and dinner, bringing them to activities, bed time stories) there would be light housekeeping (laundry, straightening up). In total, I would be working 50 hours per week, with occasional working holidays.

My potential employer is offering me 1400 euros a month (approx. 1700 dollars), which comes to 7 euros an hour (around 8.50 dollars). This seems quite low to me, considering the amount of work I will be putting in, and especially because France has very high taxes (which are not taken out of your paycheck) and I live out and must pay for my own apartment (850 euros a month, the cheapest in Paris).

Is this a typical nanny wage in Paris? I haven't found much information on the internet. Would I be greedy to ask for 2000 euro a month (10 euros an hour)? The family seems wonderful, and I would love to take the job, but I don't want to put myself in the poor house! I have student loans and an apartment to pay for!

Any advice would be great. Especially if you already a nanny or employer in Paris!

NANNY SIGHTINGS NEEDED! More info here.

17 June, 2010

ARRRGGGHHH!

Received Thursday, June 17, 2010
perspective and opinion The family I nanny for has family out of state so 2 weeks ago they traveled to visit them. They have 2 girls (ages 27 months and 10 months) and their youngest was sick when they left. It turns out that after a few days of being there she was still not feeling well... so they took her in and ir turns out she had pneumonia. Now I should also throw in that she was sick (cough, fever) for over a week before they left... I kept stressing that she was not sleeping/eating well and that she should be taken to the doctor. They took her in 2 days before they left and the doc said it was viral and it would run its course. SO... the pneumonia was so bad that antibiotics would not cure it so she had to have a procedure done to drain the infection from her lung. They family called me the day before the procedure to see if I would fly out to help with their older daughter so they could focus on the baby... I of course agreed and was out there in less than 24 hours. I
arrive to find that my employers mom had the whole week off and that they have hired another woman to help with the girls and do housework... I was a little angry that I was rushed out there when there were 2 other capable adults who could have stepped in but I shrugged it off... knowing their older daughter needed me there. She clung to me like glue the WHOLE time I was there. I ended up working 81 hours in 4 days (that included travel time and the few hours I charged for the overnights)... No one ever offered for me to visit the baby. No one would update me on how she was unless I asked. I just felt like no one expected me to care... when I see her more than all of them (even her parents!). I left there without so much as a thank you for dropping everything and coming out there. SO FRUSTRATING! I realize having a sick child is very difficult but so much so that you don't remember simple manners??? Also, the family is unable to fly home because the babies lung needs 3-6 months to fully heal from the procedure So I agreed to return to help them sometime in the next couple weeks (they plan to make the drive home the 1st week in July). The girls Dad mentioned in passing that maybe I could come Thursday (6/17) and stay a week or so... I said I would check my schedule and let them know. I realized when I got home that Fathers Day was over the weekend and that I also have a bridal shower on Saturday... so I told them I could not come until Monday (6/21) if they wanted me to. All of this communication happed on Sunday (6/13)... I have not heard a WORD since then... No update on the baby (even though I asked in my return email) and no response on if they want me to come there Monday (6/21). What would you all do? If I don't hear from them by tomorrow I am thinking I am just going to tell them I cannot come. I am totally bothered by the fact that they have taken no time to respond to me or update me on how the baby is doing... ARRRGGGHHH! Any advice is apprecited...
and please understand that I realize their child was sick and in the hospital... I am not trying to be insensitive I am just trying to watch out for myself in the "work" aspect of it all... Thanks in advance for your help!!!

Red Flags Everywhere

Received Thursday, June 17, 2010
perspective and opinion Hi, hoping I can get this bit posted so that I can get some Advice:

One month ago I started working for a new family. I quit my last job because I was working 50 hours a week for $1,500 a month, which is a bit ridiculous. But I loved the baby and the mom. Then the mom's jobless boyfriend moved in and the 50 hours seemed VERY long.

Anyway, so I've started a new family. Shorter hours, older girls, more money. But a month into and there's already clearly red flags. The youngest girl, age 2.5, SCREAMS all during her bath and after. I've never seen a child like this before and it's worse than just the normal "terrible 2's. Also the mom is home while I'm working and this wasn't mentioned at all when I took the job. The mother also constantly invites her sister's child over for me to watch as well. She's a very rude, demanding little girl who I am constantly telling "No" to. She also encourages the older girl (age 5) to misbehave as well. The mum also invites over various friends of her's children as well and I am watching them. And a couple days ago I received a text message at 8AM asking to make a homemade cake for the afternoon because friends were coming over. I've also been asked to make dinner for 8 children. Is this not a red flag?

My husband was just offered an amazing job opportunity 1.5 hours from where we live now. He's taking it obviously and we're moving in mid-august. I'm just unsure if I should tell the family my last day will be in august or if I should try to finish out my contract (1 year). I don't know if it's worth it with the drive and cost of gas (we don't live in the US).

Advice?

Heartsick

Received Thursday, June 17, 2010
perspective and opinion My last day of work with a family of five years is on Friday. I love the children to death and I'm already depressed. My heart breaks a little more every day as the end draws near. It doesn't help that their parents could seem to care less about my continuing a relationship with the children. Some of my parent friends from the school suggested that they might feel threatened by the relationship I have with their children. People are always surprised when they find out I'm their nanny and not their mom. I spend more waking time with the children than their parents do, so it's only natural that we would be very close. I didn't expect to come over for dinner every night, but if I could stop by and say hi on the weekends it would make the transition loads easier on me and on the children. This family has been less than wonderful to me and I've contemplated leaving for years, but always stuck it out because I love the kids. Now the time has finally come and even though I know I'm going to be better off in the long run, I can't help but be sad. Please tell me this is normal and the feeling will eventually go away. I miss my babies and they aren't even gone yet!

15 June, 2010

In other words, "give us three weeks to find a better laundress"

Received Tuesday, June 15, 2010
perspective and opinion I have been a nanny to my current family for over a year. The family has been wonderful and I adore and love their son wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, the parents came to me today telling me that despite my loving care and foremost attention to their son (he has always been first). They are upset with me and told me today that my last day is in 3 weeks.

Briefing: He is just over 2 years old who doesnt take a long nap (maybe 1 to 1 1/2 hours). In that time, I do the everyday chores: straightening playroom, baby's closet, sweeping, vacuuming, cleaning kitchen and doing laundry (Moms and baby's) Doing their laundry means washing in washer (takes about 30 minutes) then 2 ROUNDS (AT LEAST AN HOUR EACH) in the dryer. Then folding and putting it away. This is how the parents want it done!! BUT when they son is up- he is my main responsible). If you can notice: the dryer is never done within the childs nap time. And I save the laundry, in the dryer, to fold the next morning (he is still sleeping, usually, when I get there in the AM). The parents told me they are not happy- with that, but they want me to focus on their son!!

I always leave the home tidy and cleaned up- unless, of course, their child is not well or something like that. But I come the next day- closet a mess, playroom and kitchen area same way. I was told that the parents feel like I am taking them for granted. I feel hurt and confused. Everything I have tried to do for them- but they always seem to mess up the house for me to clean. This is daily and I tried to talk to them consistently.

What can I do?

Imagination Playground in Prospect Park, Brooklyn NY

Received Tuesday, June 15, 2010
negative emoticon 1
Physical description of caregiver: Medium-blond, Polish babysitter, mid-twenties (picture attached).

Physical description of involved child/children: Little girl by the name of Kaya, wearing a pink shirt, with 'Los Angeles' bejeweled on the front. She wore light-colored denim capri pants, white socks and sparkly pink shoes that have a velcro strap. She is in the first grade and was taken to the park by her babysitter after school. She has medium-brown hair and had two braided ponytails. Kaya is of light-coffee complexion, and is approximately 40-ish inches tall.

Address or venue of observed incident: Imagination Playground in Prospect Park, Brooklyn NY

Date and time of incident: Monday, June 14th at around 3:15pm

Detailed description of what you witnessed: My husband and I took our kids to Imagination Playground at around 3pm this afternoon. A few minutes after we arrives, Kaya (the child) came up to my husband and was talking to him and playing very nicely with our daughter. After a little while, my husband expressed concern that here is a little girl he'd never seen before talking to a stranger and no grown-up is coming up to wonder why a man is talking with their child. My husband walked up to your sitter and asked her if Kaya was her daughter. The sitter was talking on the phone and facing away from where we were. She looked up from her phone conversation and said "no, I'm her babysitter" and continued her conversation on her cell phone. She spoke Polish fluently. A half hour later Kaya was still playing with us and the sitter was still on the phone. If you know this playground, you know that there are animal sculptures in the back where kids can poke their heads through. My husband and I were there with our kids and Kaya was there too. There is no way your babysitter could see Kaya from where she was. She never once got off the phone to look for the child, never called for her, and never even looked over to see what two strangers were doing with her charge. Quite honestly, anyone could have left the park with your child and it probably would have been a good long time before your sitter realized Kaya was gone. After 45 minutes, I finally got the nerve to take the babysitter's picture with our camera. The sitter was so into her conversation that she never even noticed her picture was being taken. After a little over an hour and a half (it is now almost 5pm) we told Kaya we were leaving. My husband and I purposefully exited the playground in the direction that your babysitter was sitting in the hopes of getting her attention off her phone call. We both stopped right in front of her, waved and said goodbye to Kaya while she sat next to the babysitter. Your sitter was still yapping away on the phone! According to Kaya, "she [the babysitter] talks and talks and talks and talks on the phone all day". She mimicked for my husband and I what your babysitter does all day. In the entire time we were at the playground, your sitter never once talked to Kaya or even looked in her direction. Kaya's parents: whatever you are paying her sitter, she's not worth it. You should consider docking her pay by an hour and a half, since my husband and I were the ones who watched your daughter this afternoon in the playground.

Kaya is a wonderful and smart little girl. She played very nicely with our daughter and was very engaging. It seems all she wanted was a little attention and the babysitter completely ignored her the entire time we were there. Sad :(

Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: (see picture below, view larger HERE)
nanny brooklyn

Fool me once....

Received Tuesday, June 15, 2010
perspective and opinion I need help ASAP!!! Now, I will state upfront that I know that I have allowed myself to be fooled by my employer's false promises of "things will fall together", and that I am generally too nice. So I do not need people telling me I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of, etc. because I know that. What I need help with is how to professionally, yet firmly take charge of the situation, and what to say to them. Having said all of that, here is my situation.

I am a live-in nanny.I have been with this family for 3 months. I watch twin two year olds. The children are awesome, and I love spending time with them. I watch them Monday-Friday, for around 11-12 hours a day. Both parents work outside of the home. Upon accepting this position, I agreed to work approximately 60 hours a week, prepare meals/plan playdates/take children to all appointments, etc., in exchange for: health insurance, use of a car/car insurance, room/board, cable/internet, credit card for work expenses, gym membership, and zoo membership.

Fastforward to now. I have the car/car insurance, and the gym membership. I have been given $40 in 3 months towards gas, and am frequently having to pay for the children's activities/medications, etc., upfront and then wait to be reimbursed. They have arranged the health insurance, but it doesn't start until the end of the month. I asked my mom about the zoo membership last week, and she said they now don't have the money to purchase it. I make a very low salary, and accepted the job due to the whole benefits package. I also have no cable because the father hasn't installed the cable box. The parents are good parents, and treat me decently.

I am horrible at confrontation, and sticking up for myself. I am doing everything (and more) that I agreed to in the contract. I would love to sample conversations! I don't know what to say without coming across as emotional. I am in "that time of the month", and am a bit emotional. But I cannot keep this up. I am burned out, and at my whits end. I want to talk with my employers today or tomorrow. Any helpful advice is appreciated! I do not have a car, and so cannot accept a live-out position at this time, or I would have left a long time ago. And as everyone knows, the economy is horrible, and live-in positions in my area are hard to come by. Thank you in advance!!

Should I quit?

Received Tuesday, June 15, 2010
perspective and opinion I have been working for two families since last December both with children the same age. Family #1 I work for Tues/Thurs 8-6, and Family #2 I work for MWF 8-5.

Family #2 I have a much more casual agreement with; if I work, I get paid for it, if I don't work, I don't get paid.. that has been a bit of a problem when I get a call at 6am that day not to come in, but the bigger picture is that I have much less of a commitment.. which to me feels like much more freedom not being completely tied down (I am a college student, so they understand when things come up). The family is incredibly nice to me, and they show their appreciation and constantly thank me for taking such good care of their baby. I truly enjoy working for them.

Family #2, however, has a "verbal" agreement with me. They asked me for a 1 year commitment, 3 weeks paid vacation, and 3 paid sick days. They also asked me if I ever need a day off to ask one week ahead of time. They treat me like the "help" not the person who cares for their baby. They have started "job creep" asking me to do laundry and grocery shop (which were not in the agreement). They also had a big problem with paying me the minimum hourly rate I was asking. I work for an agency also, so I usually use their rates as a reference, then ask for a range a few dollars less than theirs for my personal jobs. Family #2 is paying me 3/hr dollars even LESS than my already reduced rate. The father also works from home, and as most you nannies know, this in itself makes things difficult. Since I have started I have always felt completely taken for granted and under appreciated.

This brings me to my current problem: I asked both families for a day off. I needed both Thursday and Friday off, and I asked both families on the previous Thursday for the day off.. so one week ahead.

Family #1 made a tremendous effort finding coverage for me (as did I). They said it was a bit of a problem, but they made it work, and I made it very clear how much I appreciated it.

Family #2, instead pretty much flat out told me no. I explained to them I needed a day off because after my Father's recent major heart attack, my sister, mom and I wanted to do somehting special for father's day (we wanted to go up to our house in Maine and my mom planned it last minute and we would only be up for 2 days) since it is a miricle he is even still with us. I told them how important it was to me to be there with them, and that I would really appreciate it if they could find coverage for just that one day and I did not expect to be paid. Again, they said no, but they said we could talk about it on Monday.

When I got into work today, both Mom&Dad came out to "talk" to me, but it ended up in a complete gang up. I was not arguing with them about coming into work, and I decided if it was that important to them, I would come to work on Thursday. Even after I said this, the father proceeded to ask questions and in a sense "scold" and yell at me for even asking for a day off and that I was expected to only go on vacation when they did. I tried to even compromise and ask for half the day off and they refused that too. FInally I just said if I had to work, I probably just wouldn't go away.. and the father then interrogated me about why I would choose that. By the time the conversation was over, I was in tears and in complete shock.

My question is: Should I quit? I cannot believe this is the way a family would treat me for just asking for ONE day off. I have been contemplating leaving based solely on the way I am treated in general.. but is this enough to call it quits?

Any opinions would be much appreciated!

Calling all Berkley and Oakland Nannies....

Received Tuesday, June 15, 2010
perspective and opinion I have a question and I hope you'd be willing to consider posting it, even though it's of a local nature.

I've worked part time as a nanny for the last few years and want to do it full time as a career. When I started I did a fair amount of research into normal wages for my area (California - Oakland/Berkeley) and found that rates start at $15 an hour. Today I responded to an ad for a part time summer nanny posted by the outgoing nanny. We talked for a few minutes and she said she gets $500 a week, which is $11.11 an hour, and in her experience $11 - $12/hr is normal for this area. She said she's been doing this for 10 years, has lots of nanny friends, and $15 an hour is pretty unusual.

So my question is, is what she's saying right or is my other research right? I'd appreciate it if nannies in my area would chime in.

14 June, 2010

Discuss

Foes Line Up to Oppose Nanny Bill of Rights
On June 1, the NY State Senate passed a measure guaranteeing nannies and other household employees protections like one day off a week, paid overtime past 40 hours a week, six paid holidays, seven sick days, and five vacation days per year, and a fourteen-day notice of termination. NY's Governor Paterson has vowed to sign it.

What do you think?

12 June, 2010

Highland Heritage Park in Highlands Ranch, CO

Received Saturday, June 12, 2010
kissy emoticon
Date and time of incident: Wednesday, June 9, 2010. About 11:00 a.m.

Physical description of caregiver: Nanny was dark-haired and caucasian. Slender and medium to tall height (I would say about 5'8") and young, in early to mid- twenties. She was wearing a white tank top under a denim jacket and dark brown capri pants. Brown sandals. Her hair was long and pulled back in a low ponytail. She had brown sunglasses on. Small black backpack. I think the child called her "Elise" or "Elisa".

Physical description of child: 6-7 year-old little girl. Very long blonde hair and caucasian. Wearing a yellow sundress and white sandals.

Detailed description of what you witnessed: I was at the park with my little brother and witnessed this awesome nanny interacting with her charge. Nanny engaged the child by asking her what she would name the wildflowers in the park if it was up to her. She asked her several times if she was too hot or thirsty (it was very hot that day). They never went to the actual playground but walked around the park area and looked at the open space around it. Nanny held the child's hand and called her "sweetie". Nanny also reminded the charge that in a few minutes it would be time to put more sunscreen on. I noticed when bikers went past them on the path, the nanny gently steered the little girl off the path and said "Remember, when bikers are coming it's best to give them room."

Honestly, the nanny just seemed really involved with the little girl and wasn't just letting her run around. She was very attentive and seemed like a very responsible, loving nanny!

CL-WTF?

Saturday, June 12, 2010
june cl wtf 1
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) I need a babysitter ASAP (California)
Hi i need help with my 7 month old son Dylan i just moved here 2month's ago i have had a live in nanny but 2weeks ago she had to leave do to illness in her family so i had to take time away from work for this 2 weeks not good for me at all i love spending time with my son but i also like paying my bills lol well long story short i need help i dont have alot to offer im not making much yet but i can help someone in need of a little extra cash i can pay 130-150.00 a week i know thats not a lot for what im asking for cause i need someone to stay in my place which is nice i live a block away from the broadway plaza mall and everything is blocks away nice area theres a pool spa and you can take him out for the day and shop or whatever you can stay in watch movies when he sleeps i need someone from like maybe 10-11am till 7-8pm monday thru friday if i need time with my husband like maybe a date night i will pay extra on Saturday but from maybe 6-7pm till midnight or like 11pm please when i start making more money i will pay more but this is what i have right now if you can help please call me ,oh and i need to add that my husband and i are smokers a lot of people have a problem with this but its mostly out side sometimes inside but not around the baby so if you smoke that dose not bother me at all thanks for reading and if theres anyone out there that can help let me know thanks. Janet. (925)238-****
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/kid/1777690040.html

* Response from CL reader:

2) RE: I need a babysitter ASAP (California)
Wow!!!! You live in a nice place have money for cigarette for you and your husband. And have money to go out for a date night with your husband. But you are willing to pay 2.50 an hour for some one to come to your house and watch your child for nine hours a day. You probably spend more the 2.50 on your cigarette. Is this what your child is worth to you?. Where is the child protective service when we need them. Makes me wonder why your nanny left.
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/kid/1779046361.html
______________________________________________________________
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11 June, 2010

Caribou Coffee on Springbrook Drive in Coon Rapids, Minnesota

Received Friday, June 11, 2010
negative emoticon 1 Nanny, probably 22-25 years old. Black tank top with lace, lots of cleavage. Jeans, hiking shoes, train conductor-style hat. Darker hair (brown with red/maroon tones) in a messy bun.Probably 5'8, thicker/overweight build.

Charge (Michael) is an approximately 8 year old boy. Black button-down shirt, opened with a grey henley/long underwear-like shirt on underneath. Jeans, light brown hair, brown shoes.

They were together at Caribou Coffee on Springbrook Drive in Coon Rapids, Friday 6/11 from 10:30am-on. Nanny ignored him most of the time, reading a magazine, scribbling in a small notebook, texting, etc. Kept telling him firmly to read his book (The Youngest Templar: Keeper of The Grail by Michael P. Spradlin). Your son was bored out of his mind on this dreary morning-he even appeared to fall asleep at one point. He was trying to get her attention, picked up his book several times, took off to the men's room (at the back of the store, near a back exit)without her so much as looking in his direction. When he came back, he said "Hello" to her, trying to engage her. She looked up at him, and then went right back to scribbling in her journal again. She left him on the couch for several minutes alone while she went to the register.They were goofing around together, and he hit his head on the back of the wooden couch. He started to cry, and she just laughed. She rubbed his knee a little bit while he cried, but said "Next time you're sitting on a wooden couch, don't throw your head back" in a very sarcastic manner. She cares about him in some capacity-that's clear,but she does not take necessary precautions to keep him safe, and makes no effort to engage him really. They sat there, her ignoring him for well over 1.5 hours. I overheard her explaining to him that she is"mentally tired, has a lot to do". She told him he was annoying for jiggling his knee. I think her name might be Katie, but I'm not sure.I took pictures of her ignoring him, of her at the register without him, of your son sitting on the couch alone. Please contact me if you'd like to see them for verification.

Nanny's Nightmare Referral for a Fulltime Job Flakes Out

Received Friday, June 11, 2010
perspective and opinion I had a current situation happen to me this week and need some perspective on what to do. Okay...I babysat on an occasional basis for this wonderful family, however the mother recently notified me that she will not be using me anymore since her daughter will now be attending private kindergarten. She did state that she may be using me in the future for "date nights" and such. She feels bad for me that I am a single mother myself and struggling to pay my bills so she referred me to a woman friend of hers. Well, me and her friend had arranged for an interview two weeks ago, but she called me (an hour prior btw) to tell me she was sick and needed to reschedule. I understood as people do get sick and agreed to reschedule for this week. Well, I finally interviewed yesterday and the woman said she heard great things about me from the other family that I babysat for and that she really liked me and then hired me on the spot. This would be a full-time job, for two boys and the pay would be good $17/Hr in Bakersfield CA. She even took out her calendar and "penciled me in" for the hours she would need me the following week and asked that I write them down as well which I did. Now mind you, I had another full-time job offer that I hadn't yet agreed to, but after this interview and the fact that she gave me my hours for next week, I assumed I was officially hired by her. So I called the other family and told them I had already gotten a new job and they wished me well. Well, I came home and got online on Craigslist....I was looking to see if anyone was hiring for a weekend babysitter, Fri/Sat/Sun, days she assured me she would NEVER need me. And to my surprise, right there in the childcare section was an ad posted by her. By the time on the ad, it appeared it was posted exactly one hour after I had left! My heart sank and my body went numb!! I couldn't believe it! So I sent her an email and told her that I assumed I was hired since she actually told me the days/hours that she needed me for next week and even asked me to write them down in my agenda! She claimed she had decided after my interview to "look around", but if she didn't find anyone in a week, she would get back to me. She claimed she wanted to call me after I left, but said she was too ill to call. (Funny, how she wasn't too ill to write a Craigslist ad!!) Okay...here are my questions:
1) If you are at an interview, and the parents tell you to come in the following week (or whenever) and give you days/times they want you to show up, isn't that technically "hiring you?" Or am I just an idiot who is missing something here?
2) Since I assumed I was hired, I gave up another position and am now angry...do I have a right to be mad??
3) What do you all think has happened here? If she didn't think we were a good fit (as some families do), I have no problem with this. Couldn't she have said she will be in touch after she makes a decision? Why would she ask me to write my hours for next week? And no, she never stated it was "tentative" or anything.
4) Finally, do you think this will affect my relationship w/the woman that referred us? In other words, she obviously liked me enough to refer me, but will this taint her opinion of me??

Again, I am a single mother who has been seeking a nanny job for months now. As Murphy's Law would have it, I then get two job offers, and since I primarily accepted the first (as it was from a referral), I am now back to square one. I cannot believe this has happened to me. I feel like a bumbling idiot and am trying to piece this thing together to see what I could have done to avoid this. Any advice would be great, but as I am in a depressed state now (looking for work to pay my bills, etc.) please no harsh words. Thanks a bunch. :)

10 June, 2010

Park in Chula Vista, CA

Received Thursday, June 10, 2010
negative emoticon 1
Location: Park (not sure of the name) in Chula Vista (San Diego), CA

Date and time of incident: Wed, June 9, 2010. Incident occured around 12:35

Physical description of caregiver: Nanny was dark-haired with medium-tone skin. May have been Hispanic or Asian. Nanny was heavy around the middle, short (5'-5'3") and was middle-aged. She was wearing jeans, a button-up short sleeved plaid shirt, and a denim vest. She had on a black cap that showed a little of her short bob haircut.

Physical description of involved child: 3-4 year old boy, dark-skinned with shaggy/curly black hair. He was wearing dark jeans, a red t-shirt and navy blue crocs.

Detailed description of what you witnessed: I was at the park with the little boy that I nanny for. We go to the park everyday around the same time, and I have never seen this little boy and his nanny there before. My charge and I were sitting at a picnic table in the toddler section of the playground. The park was fairly empty with only a few other people there (none of which were children, mostly just young adult guys playing basketball). The other nanny and the little boy approached the picnic table and sat down. The nanny asked if I would keep an eye on her charge while she went to her car to get a snack for the boy. I said sure because the car was not even 50 ft away. Nanny walked to her car, got in the car and and started making a phone call. She must have been on the phone in her car for at least 20 minutes while I continued to watch the other child play in the playground. When nanny finally came back, she had a little lunch box full of snacks for both her and the child. The snacks include carrot sticks, two cookies, Juicy Juice juice boxes, and a small zip-loc baggy full of skittles. They sat down at the same picnic table as me and my charge and began eating their snacks. The little boy was given the carrot sticks and told to eat them before he was given dessert. After the little boy finished his carrot sticks, he asked for some Skittles, but the nanny had said they were for her. Then, he asked if he could have a cookie, and the nanny told him that she had already ate both of them. The nanny told the boy to eat his carrot sticks before dessert, but then she ate what was promised to be his dessert. The 3-4 year old little boy proceeded to throw a fit because he was so upset at what the nanny had done to him. She did nothing to soothe the boy, but told him that if he didn't stop "making a scene", he would have to walk home from the park. I then decided to speak to the nanny and say what she was doing to the little boy was more than uncalled for. I gave the little boy one of the cookies that I had brought for my charge and asked if he wanted to go play on the play structure with my charge and I. After snack time, me and my charge and the other nanny and her charge proceeded to play on the play ground. Not even 10 minutes into play, the nanny got another phone call. She walked away from the play ground, leaving the 3-4 year old boy there by himself. After she left, the boy turned into a little terror. He came up to me and my charge and said that if we didn't leave the park, he would call the cops. He said if the cops didn't come he would go to his house, get a gun, and come back and "take care of the little problem" himself. I told the little boy that the way he was speaking wasn't appropriate. He didn't like that I had corrected him, and decided to start hitting me and my charge. I decided that it would be a good time to remove ourselves from the situation, and we went and sat on a bench next to the playground. I didn't want to leave the park because the nanny was all the way on the other side of the park, which is a little more than half a mile away. I watched as the child played by himself on the slides. When the nanny came back, I took myself and my charge home.

My opinion of what happened: The woman who was in charge of that little boy is a sad excuse for a nanny. She had no respect for her charge and she obviously didn't take her job very seriously. The parents of that child need to fire that nanny, and hire someone who actually pays attention to the child.

09 June, 2010

Pier 6 Sandbox by the bridge - Brooklyn, NY

Received Wednesday, June 9, 2010
negative emoticon 1 URGENT... at 0905 hundred hours this day, June 9, Wednesday - I witnessed the unthinkable. A female nanny, Puerto Rican, with large moles on her face, thick hair and a wide, blank face was caring for an Anglo child, female, with blond hair and a pinkish/reddish short overalls set over a white and flowered shirt. The nanny was approximately 30-35 years old, 5 foot four-six and about 160-180 pounds. I don't know what happned previously but did see the nanny grab the child's right arm, hold it high and swat the child on the bottom 4-6 times. The child began crying and crying so hard she was gasping for air. I said, "hey, hey" to get the nanny's attention. She turned and looked at me. I started walking towards her. She quickly dunks the child in the stroller, a collapsible umbrella stroller with mint green arms and a loud seat pattern. Then she takes off walking at warp speed. At first I started to follow her to catch up to her to call her out and find out who she worked for. But I figured I would only make things worse on the little child.

This happened right by the Pier 6 Sandbox by the bridge (Brooklyn). The child may have been playing in the sand box before my arrival. But they were standing next to it when they caught my attention!

08 June, 2010

Working for Spare Change...

Received Tuesday, June 8, 2010
perspective and opinion I have been working as a nanny for family with an 11 month old boy. I have been with this family for almost 5 months, and it is all under the table, meaning no contract. This hasn't been a problem. The hours are what we originally agreed upon, the pay is the same every week (money has been very tight for this family so I make about $30 a day), and recently, they have began allowing driving.
In addition to working this job on Tues-Fri, I am also a full time student taking 4 classes this semester. I work about 7-8 hours a day, and attend class about 10 hours a week. Although this may not seem like much to some, it has recently become quite overwhelming. It seems as though I don't have time for me anymore. Between work and school, my social-life has dwindled down to be almost inexistant.
I have been thinking about quitting my job, and focusing on school and family/friends. I work not because I need the money, but because it was nice to make a little spending money for myself. I live at home with my parents, they pay for my gas and most of my expenses. I have noticed that my grades have started to suffer from working. I was wondering how much notice I would need to give my boss, and what reason I should give for quitting. Should I tell them in person, send an e-mail, give a phone call? I am very afraid of giving the notice because I have become quite attached to this family and their son.

70th St. Playground on UWS, NYC

Received Tuesday, June 8, 2010
negative emoticon 1 On Friday the 4th, between 5 and 6:00, I took my daughter over to the 70th St. playground in the Upper West Side of NY City. My daughter was playing and I was chasing her. At one point, I noticed a nanny sitting on the bench with her head propped up on her hand. At first I thought she was just tired and relaxing, but then I noticed that she was asleep, really asleep! I kept watching her to see if she was going to wake up anytime soon and tried to figure out what child was in her care. Finally after about 20 minutes, she woke up, found the child that she was "caring for" and said, "Let's go!" The little girl was between the ages of 7 and 9. She had on her bathing suit, pink crocs, and a Disney towel. She was a thin, blonde haired little girl. The nanny was dressed in all black, a nice dress and had a fake bun on the back of her head. She was very well put together looking and wore black sun glasses. I've seen some really awful things with nannies and I've gotten to where I'm just sick of it and have decided to take my camera with me everywhere. I just can't believe that parents don't know what's really happening with their children when they are in the care of someone else. I just can't believe how many nannies think that playtime at the park means they get to sit on their big rump and chat with their other nanny friends while they don't watch the children AT ALL or they make them sit right by them, either in a stroller or on the bench, not able to play or interact with the other kids. It infuriates me!
nanny23
nanny2

06 June, 2010

Gaining a Male Childcare Worker's Perspective...

Received Sunday, June 6, 2010
perspective and opinion
For the past three years I have worked at a church on Sundays as a childcare worker, working in either the 3-5 year old room, or the infant-toddler room. As a male in the infant-toddler room it seems as if I am held to a higher standard by the parents. Most of the parents are fine with me being in there, but there are some parents who are unsure about it. I remember this one time when this girl, who was potty training, needed to go to the bathroom. As I was taking her to the bathroom, which is in the same room as we were in, a parent volunteer started to offer to take her to the bathroom, however as she saw I was going to leave the door open, she stopped in her tracks. Chances are this wouldn’t have happened if I was female. This has also happened when a girl needed a diaper change, but I simply told the person I can do it. Another time a dad was dropping off his toddler daughter. Before he left, he checked her pull-up and decided to change her. None of the parents I have seen there have done that before. I might just be cynical, but it felt like to me he was thinking let me change her now, so he wouldn’t have to worry about a strange male changing his daughter later, which is fine. I have become use to parents thinking I am not capable of working with younger kids because I am male. With some parents, you can tell on their faces when they drop their kids off, they aren’t too sure if they should leave them or not, as there is a male worker in the room. What helps, is there are always two workers in the room.
As a male, I have to be extra careful in everything I do, as some parents think you are either inept when caring for younger kids, or a pervert because you are a male who is working with younger kids. Thankfully, most parents are fine with me being there, and know I do a good job. What I find interesting is parents think just because you have male parts you aren’t good with kids, while those with female parts are naturals with kids. There is one co-worker, who is female, who really isn’t that great with kids, and never bothers to change their diapers, even when they are full. Yet parents assume she is good with kids as they always hand off their crying kid to her, even when we are both standing right there. I guess I am saying all of this to say, you have to look at people as a whole, and not simply their gender. Just because a person has male parts doesn’t mean they are bad with kids, and just because a person has female parts doesn’t mean they are a natural with kids. As the old saying goes, ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’.

05 June, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, June 5, 2010
ISYN CL WTF 2

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Kind, welcoming family in search of the Perfect Nanny! (Boston)
My name is Avagail and my husband's name is Adam. Just like our title says, we are a kind, welcoming family looking for a nanny for our wonderful children: 3 year old son (Adam III), and 9-month-old twins (Avagail Jr. and Eli) in our home in Brookline. My husband is the financial advisor to a company in Boston, and I am a doctor of physical therapy looking to return to work part-time for approximately three 6-hour shifts per week. So, I will be home some of the time that overlaps with when the nanny is at our home. We want the best for our children, so our nanny only needs to focus on childcare related tasks -- never any housekeeping! We consider childcare tasks:
- general childcare (Kosher feedings, diaper changes, bathing)
- providing intellectual stimulation, reading books, etc.
- going for walks
- children's laundry
- stripping children's beds and changing sheets
- food shopping for children
- vacuuming and dusting the children's rooms
- tidying any messes that the children make
- organizing children's toys
- transporting children to playdates and activities
- others, as to be discussed

We have a bit of flexibility in the hours that we need childcare for our children, so we have outlined the different options. Again, our priority is to find the best nanny available, so we want you to be able to choose the schedule that works for you. The salary is a generous $325 to $345 per week, commensurate with experience.

OPTION 1 - M and Tu (7:30 am to 8:15 pm); Th and F (7:15 am to 8:00 pm)
OPTION 2 - All 5 weekdays (8:00 am to 9:30 pm)
OPTION 3 - M, W, Th (5:30 am to 7:00 pm); one overnight from Saturday at 8:30 am to Sunday at 7:45 pm

Additional benefits:

- weekly stipend for your Kosher food (up to $20-25/week)
- we will pay for the laundry detergent needed for the children's clothing
- we will provide gas money if you use your vehicle to transport our children more than 50 miles per week (for miles incurred beginning with the 51st mile)
- 3 PAID vacation/sick days per year (after you have been working with us for 6 months). NOTE: We must be given at least 2 weeks notice
- the benefit of working with a loving, open, welcoming family
URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/kid/1768613537.html
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04 June, 2010

Indecisive Nanny Seeks Reader's Guidance...

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
perspective and opinion I'm a college student who's been looking for a job as a summer nanny (I've been working part-time during the school year, and have nannied in the past as well, so I have lots of experience) and I've been fortunate enough to recieve two job offers! Only problem is, now I can't decide between the two. So I was hoping the experts here might have some insight that I may not have considered.

Both jobs have roughly equal pay, for roughly equal hours, and are approximately the same distance from my house.

Job #1: A 6 yr old boy and a 2.5 yr old girl.
Pros- In general, I typically prefer working with children this age. The hours are very flexible, and the Mom has stated that if I wanted to arrange the hours so that I had a very long weekend now and then, that'd be fine. It includes two weeks of (unpaid) vacation, so I could take that time to visit my friends, etc.

Cons- The differing ages and genders will make it a bit more difficult to do activities. The 2.5 year old still needs a carseat (obviously) and it will be more difficult to take her out to do activities outside the house. The Mom works from home, and even though I actually have a lot of experience with this, I find it usually makes things harder than easier.

Job #2: Twin 8 year old girls
Pros- The girls were really cute and fun, and they do a lot of the same activities and sports that I did at their age. Since they're the same age, they can easily play together and do the same activities. They seemed to get along together very well (though I'm not naive enough to think that will always be the case ;-)

Cons- They have a dog that will need to be taken care of, which includes changing and cleaning it's bellyband (which is like a dog diaper). This mom seemed like a bit more high maintenance, and was verryyy concerned about the house staying VERY tidy (no specific cleaning duties are included, just ensuring that I tidy up after whatever the girls and I do). Also this job includes A LOT of driving, to various summer camps and sports and things like that, as well as stuff like going to the library or the zoo, etc. At this point we have not discussed my being reimbursed for gas, but I do think that I will ask for that.

Before I met the twins, I had all but decided on Job #1, but they were really fun. At this point I'm deadlocked, and there is no clear frontrunner.
Thanks for helping make this difficult decision!

When the Nanny Travels Along - UPDATE

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
perspective and opinion I wrote and asked for other's advice on my upcoming vacation with the family for whom I work: (When the Nanny Travels Along). I was offered a "split shift" so that I could have some afternoons off to do some site-seeing myself. I returned last night, and this is actually how it all turned out...

My employers were very, very thoughtful and fair with me. I actually had to remind them several times that, while I was grateful, I was there so that they could enjoy their vacation time off. I encouraged them to go out and assured them I was quite comfortable staying home with the babies (seven month old twins), and that it was my expectation that this was a work week for me. I did work long days, and was responsible for getting the babies up around 6:30 and bathed and to bed each night at seven (and all else in between), but after that the parents really took over if a baby awoke, and they tended to any nighttime needs (although the babies are very good sleepers and easy to get back to sleep if the wake). During the day, if the parents were around they pitched in if both babies needed me at the same time. As well, they insisted upon cooking my meals and if they went out to eat they brought me some treat home. Midweek they scheduled a massage for me at a local spa. Saturday they took me out to all the local farmer's markets because they know I like that! A couple of the mornings they suggested I not begin my duties until 10am, and they took care of the early mornings so I could sleep in (usually I set my alarm for 6 each morning to insure I would be awake to hear the first call of the babies because the mom is a very light sleeper). So on a couple of mornings I got to sleep in. In the end, I was paid for my regular 12 hour daily shifts as if we were at home. They asked me if I thought this was fair and I agreed it was. I was also paid this rate for the short traveling days and for the extra personal time I had off.

So, I have to say, all-in-all, I am very grateful for how everything worked out on this trip. Generally speaking, it was hard for me to be away from my family for so long (10 days) and I did get very homesick at times. Also, I struggled some with occasional moodiness in the household that I am not used to. It is more difficult to be in this role of "Mother's helper" than to be a nanny while the parents work. I know that they are my employers and these are their children and I respect that and acquiesce to their requirements. But I am a retired kindergarten teacher, paid freelance mentor to new kindergarten teachers, mother of 5, grandmother of 4, and I have a lot of experience under my belt. So, in all honesty, it is very hard to have my judgement questioned by first time parents of 7 month olds. But....like I said, I am their employee, so I just bite my tongue and go ahead with what they have asked/told me to do. They are very bright people and like all of us, will figure out parenthood by trial and error.

Wilton Mall - Saratoga Springs, NY

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
negative emoticon 1 I was appalled to see the group of women who brought their daycare to the wilton mall. There was at least 8 women and countless kids that no one was watching. in the very short time that I was there I noticed 5 kids leave the play area and wander into the mall,little babies being pushed and one got his fingers stepped on, several slaps in the face and kicks and a spit in the face, and 2 little ones climbing over the wall from the seats. when someone did get up to handle a problem they were all annoyed at the children. One even threatened no snack today! What a nightmare!!!

So, now what?

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
Update on the Best Way to Cut Ties.....
I gave my 4 week notice yesterday, and it did not go well... Mom berated me and told me I was selfish for not telling her I was looking, that I will have bad karma, and how I must not care about the kids at all.

The reason I gave was that I needed to attend school full time so I accepted a part time position.

Then she tried negotiating, offering to sign the car over to me, a raise, less hours, more time off, allowing my boyfriend to spend the night, etc. I told her it was non negotiable, which upset her more.

She just would not leave me alone all day. She kept pressing for more info until I told her why I was so unhappy. I told her most times I didn't want to be there In my time off, about how mean she was to me and how much it was affecting my life mentally and physically. She cried and appologized and keeps begging me to reconsider, but I reminded her that I'm also severely allergic to her 3 cats. She said she would change, and anything to keep me but I said no.

How can I get her to accept that I will not stay?

Slophouse Revisited...

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
First, here are the pictures of the disgusting house I used to work in and what I had to look at everyday. There are more but these are the most important ones, I thought:
isyn 13
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Click on photos to view larger.
Update: (Original post is located here)
I called MSPCA, because I was concerned for the animals. They said they have 7 days to separate where the dogs eat from where they poop and to clean up PROPERLY. (which should be OUTSIDE), And they also said they are obligated to call CPS about the children living in the same conditions as the dogs. Who knows where it will go from there. Hopefully they will just simply be forced to rip up their rugs. and get hardwood floors if they ever want animals again and especially if they want their kids. It's not that hard to hire a dog walker/trainer. Or just dont have dogs and kids if you can't keep things sanitary. It's a simple concept. Don't take on more than you can handle. I feel like things are being delt with properly, and I hope things work out for everyone involved. Thanks for everyones support!