Received Friday, June 11, 2010
I had a current situation happen to me this week and need some perspective on what to do. Okay...I babysat on an occasional basis for this wonderful family, however the mother recently notified me that she will not be using me anymore since her daughter will now be attending private kindergarten. She did state that she may be using me in the future for "date nights" and such. She feels bad for me that I am a single mother myself and struggling to pay my bills so she referred me to a woman friend of hers. Well, me and her friend had arranged for an interview two weeks ago, but she called me (an hour prior btw) to tell me she was sick and needed to reschedule. I understood as people do get sick and agreed to reschedule for this week. Well, I finally interviewed yesterday and the woman said she heard great things about me from the other family that I babysat for and that she really liked me and then hired me on the spot. This would be a full-time job, for two boys and the pay would be good $17/Hr in Bakersfield CA. She even took out her calendar and "penciled me in" for the hours she would need me the following week and asked that I write them down as well which I did. Now mind you, I had another full-time job offer that I hadn't yet agreed to, but after this interview and the fact that she gave me my hours for next week, I assumed I was officially hired by her. So I called the other family and told them I had already gotten a new job and they wished me well. Well, I came home and got online on Craigslist....I was looking to see if anyone was hiring for a weekend babysitter, Fri/Sat/Sun, days she assured me she would NEVER need me. And to my surprise, right there in the childcare section was an ad posted by her. By the time on the ad, it appeared it was posted exactly one hour after I had left! My heart sank and my body went numb!! I couldn't believe it! So I sent her an email and told her that I assumed I was hired since she actually told me the days/hours that she needed me for next week and even asked me to write them down in my agenda! She claimed she had decided after my interview to "look around", but if she didn't find anyone in a week, she would get back to me. She claimed she wanted to call me after I left, but said she was too ill to call. (Funny, how she wasn't too ill to write a Craigslist ad!!) Okay...here are my questions:
1) If you are at an interview, and the parents tell you to come in the following week (or whenever) and give you days/times they want you to show up, isn't that technically "hiring you?" Or am I just an idiot who is missing something here?
2) Since I assumed I was hired, I gave up another position and am now angry...do I have a right to be mad??
3) What do you all think has happened here? If she didn't think we were a good fit (as some families do), I have no problem with this. Couldn't she have said she will be in touch after she makes a decision? Why would she ask me to write my hours for next week? And no, she never stated it was "tentative" or anything.
4) Finally, do you think this will affect my relationship w/the woman that referred us? In other words, she obviously liked me enough to refer me, but will this taint her opinion of me??
Again, I am a single mother who has been seeking a nanny job for months now. As Murphy's Law would have it, I then get two job offers, and since I primarily accepted the first (as it was from a referral), I am now back to square one. I cannot believe this has happened to me. I feel like a bumbling idiot and am trying to piece this thing together to see what I could have done to avoid this. Any advice would be great, but as I am in a depressed state now (looking for work to pay my bills, etc.) please no harsh words. Thanks a bunch. :)