Location: Park (not sure of the name) in Chula Vista (San Diego), CA
Date and time of incident: Wed, June 9, 2010. Incident occured around 12:35
Physical description of caregiver: Nanny was dark-haired with medium-tone skin. May have been Hispanic or Asian. Nanny was heavy around the middle, short (5'-5'3") and was middle-aged. She was wearing jeans, a button-up short sleeved plaid shirt, and a denim vest. She had on a black cap that showed a little of her short bob haircut.
Physical description of involved child: 3-4 year old boy, dark-skinned with shaggy/curly black hair. He was wearing dark jeans, a red t-shirt and navy blue crocs.
Detailed description of what you witnessed: I was at the park with the little boy that I nanny for. We go to the park everyday around the same time, and I have never seen this little boy and his nanny there before. My charge and I were sitting at a picnic table in the toddler section of the playground. The park was fairly empty with only a few other people there (none of which were children, mostly just young adult guys playing basketball). The other nanny and the little boy approached the picnic table and sat down. The nanny asked if I would keep an eye on her charge while she went to her car to get a snack for the boy. I said sure because the car was not even 50 ft away. Nanny walked to her car, got in the car and and started making a phone call. She must have been on the phone in her car for at least 20 minutes while I continued to watch the other child play in the playground. When nanny finally came back, she had a little lunch box full of snacks for both her and the child. The snacks include carrot sticks, two cookies, Juicy Juice juice boxes, and a small zip-loc baggy full of skittles. They sat down at the same picnic table as me and my charge and began eating their snacks. The little boy was given the carrot sticks and told to eat them before he was given dessert. After the little boy finished his carrot sticks, he asked for some Skittles, but the nanny had said they were for her. Then, he asked if he could have a cookie, and the nanny told him that she had already ate both of them. The nanny told the boy to eat his carrot sticks before dessert, but then she ate what was promised to be his dessert. The 3-4 year old little boy proceeded to throw a fit because he was so upset at what the nanny had done to him. She did nothing to soothe the boy, but told him that if he didn't stop "making a scene", he would have to walk home from the park. I then decided to speak to the nanny and say what she was doing to the little boy was more than uncalled for. I gave the little boy one of the cookies that I had brought for my charge and asked if he wanted to go play on the play structure with my charge and I. After snack time, me and my charge and the other nanny and her charge proceeded to play on the play ground. Not even 10 minutes into play, the nanny got another phone call. She walked away from the play ground, leaving the 3-4 year old boy there by himself. After she left, the boy turned into a little terror. He came up to me and my charge and said that if we didn't leave the park, he would call the cops. He said if the cops didn't come he would go to his house, get a gun, and come back and "take care of the little problem" himself. I told the little boy that the way he was speaking wasn't appropriate. He didn't like that I had corrected him, and decided to start hitting me and my charge. I decided that it would be a good time to remove ourselves from the situation, and we went and sat on a bench next to the playground. I didn't want to leave the park because the nanny was all the way on the other side of the park, which is a little more than half a mile away. I watched as the child played by himself on the slides. When the nanny came back, I took myself and my charge home.
My opinion of what happened: The woman who was in charge of that little boy is a sad excuse for a nanny. She had no respect for her charge and she obviously didn't take her job very seriously. The parents of that child need to fire that nanny, and hire someone who actually pays attention to the child.
13 comments:
Thats really scary- what the other child said to you. Just imagination what happens at home to have a 3 year old say something like that is public.. I may be a little overboard with this- but I think you should get child services involved.
Kudos to you OP, I am writhing with indignation as I read this, I am so angry that on top of everything else she had to eat this little boy's cookies! Thank you for what you did. As for the threatening talk, my experience is that what 3-year-olds say should not be taken at face value. He could have been repeating something he heard on TV, he could have been making it up, and of course your reaction was completely appropriate. I hope this nanny gets fired ASAP.
She must be doing something right because that boy didn't act like that when she was around.
I think her leaving him unattended was bad and un called for. But if she can keep the demon inside that boy from coming out, she may be a blessing. She probably talks and handles him the way he needs it.
That is scary the boy said that. Seriously fightening.
As far as what the little boy said- in my experience, children who talk like that are children who rarely get positive attention from the adults in their life. Thus, the acting out or saying extremely inappropriate things in order to get any notice at all. It's very sad, but unfortunately happens alot. My guess it that there is probably a lack of involvement from the parents as well, otherwise such behavior would be nipped in the bud by attentive parents who paid attention to what their nanny did with their child. To the poster- you tried your best to be kind to the child and tried to stand up for him with the nanny, so at least you can feel happy that at least you did do the right thing. Hopefully soon the parents will wake up + get their child on the right path with positive attention + reinforcement.
I don't mean to double post but that really gives me the creeps. The boy didn't say it because he was having a tantrum. He premeditated it. He waited and then planned out what he was going to say. He even had a back up plan. If the cops don't take care of you then I will.
He needs counseling in a big way. Just really freaks me out.
Great post and great job handling the situation OP. I don't think the little boy understood what he was saying, but probably repeated what he had heard on TV or something, but still, you shouldn't have to put up with a child abusing you.
I hope the parents see this one.
sounds to me that these are the things the nanny tells the little boy to get him to cooperate. maybe even the parents. social services should be called for sure.
This is terrible. She is obviously a horrible nanny but it does sound like she is getting fed up with a boy that has severe behavioral issues. Perhaps this child needs professional help and not someone to just look after him.
This was a great sighting OP. This sounds like a situation that definitely needs to be checked into. I sincerely hope this little boy just overheard that on TV and is not repeating something he heard from his parents or guardians. I also think that nanny needs to be fired. One small word of caution on something that wasn't the point of this post, though, OP. I'm really not trying to be critical here, this is more of a word of advice for the future, but I would refrain from giving food to other people's children who you don't know. You never know if they have allergies or f they're not supposed to eat something and you don't want to get into a scary/stressful situation. But thank you so much for posting this.
let's get real
Under any other circumstance I would agree with you 100%. The very same thought crossed my mind when she gave him the cookie. But it was right in front of the boy's Nanny when offered, so let's just hope this POS Nanny would have stopped OP from giving it to him had he an allergy to it.
What were the streets this park was on in CV? I ask cause I frequent parks in the south bay. and want to keep a look out for this nanny. (im white btw) this is not how she should be treating a little kid. and that kid needs a talking to for talking like that.
OP, good sighting. But this is way beyond a bad nanny sighting. This child needs professional help! Being aggressive towards benevolent strangers and threatening to shoot them? I don't care if he only saw it on TV. It's not like he was saying in anger, while having a tantrum (as a pp pointed out). In this day and age, I would take threats like that seriously, no matter the child's age. However, OP, you did your part by speaking to the nanny and posting here. I'm not sure what else you could do.
Wow. I agree with those who say this is a very serious problem. This is not like a small kid yelling potty words at the grocery store when he can't have the candy he wants. To state a plan of violent action like that, with no apparent provocation, and to HIT strangers, means there is something going seriously wrong with him. Lack of supervision, lack of interaction, neglect, domestic violence at home, being exposed to things completely innapropriate for his age, etc. SOMETHING is very wrong but it doesn't sound like you have enough info to call CPS or do much of anything.
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