Perverted Grandpa?
Physical description of caregiver: I'm guessing 6 ft tall. Yellow shirt, khaki shorts wearing a baseball cap. He had gray hair and I believe he had a goatee. I did get a picture, but I cannot find my usb cord. This is a small area and I'm sure if the parents see this, they will know who I am talking about.
Physical description of involved child/children: Girl looked to be 6 or 7. I believe she had on a blue shirt and denim shorts.
Address or venue of observed incident: Dow Park in Deer Park, TX. There was a live band playing under the pavilion. I witnesses this incident on the playground.
Date and time of incident: Late evening
Detailed description of what you witnessed: The man was helping her climb something that she appeared perfectly capable of climbing on her own. While she was standing on this thing, he had his hand cupping her butt and he appeared to caress her upper thigh with his other hand. He followed her very closely as she made her way around the park. They were only there 5-10 minutes before some other family members joined them and they went to a different area. I really hope he is not molesting her, but I hope the parents will question her if they see this.
27 comments:
Ok. uuummmm.... I have to comments
#1 if you felt in your heart of heart that he was molesting her you call the police ASAP.
#2 that is a very odd conclusion to jump to. It would need more detail. I personally feel very sorry for you that your mind would automatically go to such a dark place.
I'm with Phoenix on this. If you felt that he was molesting her: no nonsense, call the cops.
I did not think he was molesting her at the park. I thought the way he was touching her was inappropriate and that it's possible something is going on. It did not occur to me to call the police for what I saw...I don't think this is enough information to call the police about.
It's not that he was touching her butt that bothered me, it's the way he did it and then caressed her upper thigh that gave me the creeps. If someone touched my child that way, I'd be on high alert and they would never be alone with my child.
It's possible that I am overly sensitive about this subject as something similar happened to me when I was 8. Personally, I'd rather be overly cautious than to be one of those parents who never saw the clues.
OP, the very fact that you said something similar happened to you makes me doubt if this is legit. I rarely doubt the OP but in this case, I do. The child could have been special needs, she may have been autistic or some other learning disability that would have made her unable to climb up on her own. Just a thought.
He probably shouldn't have caressed her thigh like he did, but we don't know if he was encouraging her to climb up or if something more sinister was going on.
If it was a female would you have honestly thought twice about it?
Sorry, OP, but I think you're overly sensitive and are reaching here.
It doesn't matter what WE think. The hope is that the parents see this and decide if it is appropriate for THEIR child. This would not be appropriate for mine and maybe this little girl's mother would feel the same if she had seen what I had seen. Then again, she might think I'm paranoid. Doesn't matter, I'm just reporting something that didn't sit well with me.
OP, get your mind out of the gutter and get a life. gosh. you are a troll.
Simply because you don't agree with OP does not make her a troll. Yes, this is most likely harmless, BUT it's also circumstantial.
The difference between a trusted loving Grandpa touching his grandchild's bottom or thigh is massive, when compared to a new babysitter, for example. This is something only the parents would know for sure.
Chances are this is nothing, but OP simply used caution. If I were the parent I'd MUCH rather have a good little chuckle over "Grandpa Fred" being called a perv (and obviously thank the person for caring) than have everyone in a park ignore the fact that my brand new manny was caressing my daughter's upper thigh.
With that being said, I do feel the hysteria around "stranger danger" is a bit overblown, but on the other hand, public caressing of a child's upper thigh and bottom can be a warning sign to far more inappropriate behavior in private. It's all circumstantial...there is a gigantic difference between a loving touch, and fondling. A loving caregiver or relative and a brand new employee etc. Only mom and dad could make that call here...
It's probably nothing, but again, I'd rather laugh it off than wish someone had noticed.
OP's heart:
I doubt that if you saw a blog with a detailed description of your own father and your own daughter, with an (accusation) that your father may be molesting your daughter, that you would have "a good chuckle" over it.
Please. I know that I wouldn't laugh it off. Are you insane? Or just dumb?
I wouldn't laugh off someone accusing my family member of molesting my child. I'd be royally pissed if some busy body decided based on a few minute observation that someone was molesting my child. In fact if I found out some coward posted this shit online basically slandering someone over how they interacted with a child in a park I'd look at my legal options.
If you think something is up take the picture to the police and let them sort it out, don't post this crap on a website. I'm from this area, I know Deer Park has a police department. Contact them with your wild accusations and let them laugh at you.
MOLESTERS ARE EVERYWHERE.
Those child molesters on the web?
Most child molesters committ 200 acts before they are ever caughts.
sleep well
well said, tc. it amazes me how many people speak (or post) before they think. laugh it off? ridiculous.
I really think that person meant that they would be more relieved to know about the event NOT being a problem, hence being able to laugh it off, rather than to find out about a serious problem that no one noticed before. In other words, another way of saying 'better safe than sorry'.
Good grief, people. Learn to think a little more when you read. If you're not sure about what you're reading, and it's possible that you can be mistaken, which is blatantly the case, then back off a bit and ask for clarification before making yourself looking so ignorant. And no, I'm not that poster.
moose maybe you can laugh it off or say better safe than sorry but I still hold by my comments.
Accusing someone of molesting a child without proof other than a few minute observation is absolutely horrible and I don't take something like that lightly. That is something that can screw up someones life, cause them irreparable harm simply because someone who was molested as a child is hypersensitive to any adult touching a child.
BTW op, I too was molested as a child but that doesn't mean I think every adult is out there to harm children.
A grandparent who does not watch his grandaughter regularly, might cup her butt as she climb something. I know I hover over my son when he is climbing, now granted he is not 6 or 7. But I can easily see his grandad doing that when he is 6 or 7. As the grandad does not watch our son for us (1700miles makes that kinda hard). Oh and yeah I do cup his butt while he was climbing. Would you rather I hold onto his leg or arm for when he falls?
Caress her upper thigh? Damn I am a pedophile becuase my 9 month gets caressed along her head, arms and legs by me. Then there is me am changing her diaper. She even gets belly rubs and zerberts. She is naked AND I am touching her in an area that is so NOT her upper thigh. The belly rubs and zerberts keeps her entertained and her hands away from the area I need to clean. Boys are SO much easier to clean then girls.
I love my daughter, but changing diapers really stinks. :P
Now if you can give me a reasoned response on why this is pedo activity, something I can take to my wife to get out of changing diapers. Please, do let me know.
Matter of fact, since cupping the butt of a climbing kid is also pedo activy my wife now gets to ALL the playground activities! Since women are NEVER Pedo's. WOOHOO!
I think there needs to be more to your siting then just the cupping the butt of a climbing kid and a caress on an upper thigh. I caress and hug my kids to show them I love them, guess thats wrong of me.
Now if you had stated he had his hand between her legs as she was climbing, and it was the inner thigh he was rubbing.
But it is your instincts, if you felt strongly enough about it, you should have called the cops.
Moose:
what is ignorant is posting an accusation that someone is molesting a child with absolutely no proof. that is what is ignorant.
Hi, TC and stfum.
Accusing is one thing. Concern and questioning something is another. Do I think the OP could be jumping the gun? Without a doubt. Do I know for sure. No. How could I? Not looking for an argument, just saying. That's how I see it.
I didn't post my opinion on what I think happened to the child, nor did I say I would 'laugh it off' if someone accused or hinted that someone I know was a molester.
Obviously, I wasn't there, and for me, there is not enough information given, nor could there be. I was simply trying to make sense out of someone's post that I believe was misunderstood.
TC, so sorry for what happened to you, but also glad to see you aren't jaded by it and let it get it in the way of your life.
stfum--No. You.
CuriousDad, your post gave me the creeps. I know it was meant to have the opposite effect, but it didn't.
First of all, I was not molested. I was touched inappropriately on the outside of my clothing. After seeing the negative feedback, the thought crossed my mind that I may be overly sensitive because of my experience. I shouldn't have second guessed myself. I do not go around thinking everyone or even most people are out to harm children.
I just so happened to glance over and see what I described. She looked to be the same age as my children and as long as she didn't have a disability then she did not need assistance on this equipment. I don't think touching your kid's butt is molestation. I don't think caressing your child's leg is inappropriate. I did not accuse this man of anything. Judging the circumstances that I could see, I was a concerned.
You do not call the cops with this sort of report. As someone else said, they would laugh. Imagine "Hello officer, I am in this busy park and I saw (insert my description) My gut feeling is that he is a child molester. Please come and question him, but hurry because he might leave the park."
Oh and thanks for the laugh about a possible slander lawsuit. This is hardly enough information to bring a lawsuit.
"Yikes said...
CuriousDad, your post gave me the creeps. I know it was meant to have the opposite effect, but it didn't."
YES! Thank you for replying!
Opposite? Not necessarily, I was addressing two things there; the wording of my post WAS calculated to be off. For something that is an innocent activity. By people choosing certain word usage it can twist an otherwise innocent activity into creepiness or worse.
Until you can get past the word usage, to the underlying truth of the statement, we will not get past the point of automatic assumptions. Words used in a particular manner do indeed give off certain vibes if used in certain contexts. The OP said "Cupping the Butt" and "Caress", the only thing to illicit an even greater potential negative reaction would be if the OP said “Groping the Butt or “Fondling the Leg”.
Think about my statement "cupping the butt, while my son is climbing." If I hover over him and have my hands near his arms and or legs to grab a hold of when he falls. I will do more damage to him then just simply placing my hand under/by his bum and supporting him as needed while he climbs. Note, there was no usage of "Cupping the butt" there.
It takes just a split second of inattention for a child to go from healthy happy playing, to bloody bawling wreck by climbing something they are not fully prepared for. For me not to hover I have to be confident in my sons ability to climb and that takes time. I will probably be the same way with my daughter UNTIL I become confident of her ability to climb on her own, and I get over the OMG my son/daughter is doing something dangerous jitters. I admit I no long hover over my son in such a manner, I just stand really close by when what he is climbing something higher than he is tall. In this case after getting past the “Grandfather, Cupping the Butt” bit, it looked to me like someone not confident in his ability to rescue his granddaughter from danger if she fell. So he got into an overprotective stance.
As far as 6 or 7 year olds not needing to be helped in climbing, that would depend on the attitude of the person who is watching them and how confident that person is in their responsibility to watch the child.
Now how many of us caress our children? I put my hand on my sons head a lot and rub it. That is a form of caress. Or pat his back, or rub his arm. Creepy when taken out of context, But the alternative is to never touch or even hug my son or daughter at all.
Caress A gentle touch or gesture of fondness, tenderness, or love.
OP:
you posted a detailed description of a man and a child, complete with a detailed description of where they were. You implied that something inappropriate MAY be going on.
not cool to post on a blog. I am wondering why you cannot see that?
regarding lawsuits: there certainly is enough info to bring a lawsuit. I take it you have never been to court or had much experience with attorneys. There is an attorney for every person and for every crime known to man. I am certain that if the person described in your post wanted to, they could hunt you down and at the very least pin a lawsuit on you. they may lose, but they could sure make your life miserable. :)
No lawyer would take this case seriously. There are no names, no true identifying details. She could have been describing anyone. If someone goes in for a consult with an attorney and says 'hey that was me cupping butts and caressing kids inappropriately that someone posted about on a blog', well then that's a whole other ball game, lol.
lawyer,
you are ignorant. there is a lawyer out there who would take this case. and nobody would walk into an office and talk about butt cupping. they would say "this website posted a description of myself and my granddaughter with slanderous accusations, and I want it removed or I am going to sue."
Yeah, they might do that, Lawyer2. And they'd be laughed out of the office. Nice try, though. Better luck next time.
Sorry, no, you're wrong. This 'case' would never become a real case. Ever. Infinity.
Some of you are absolutely blazing mad!
There is NO photo, and I highly doubt 'Grandpa' was/is the only elderly white male to take a little girl to this particular park. His description could be almost anyone. Get a freaking grip. Lastly, yes, as long as a photo wasn't present I'd be one of the people that would also laugh this off. I love my dad to pieces (and he resembles MANY other elderly men) it'd be such an absurd thought (and as long as his picture was NOT present) we'd both thank the OP for caring and then LAUGH together. You all are taking a damn description a bit too seriously. Are you all going to run to a lawyer if I describe a lady of 5'5" with brown hair and brown eyes who might be a molester at a certain park??? HELLO, lots of people meet this description, NO harm done.
Catty ladies on this board. MEOW.
Amen, hiss hiss MEOW.
Well-said.
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