30 September, 2008

85th and York on the UES - NY

Received Tuesday, September 30, 2008.
nanny sighting logo I was just walking by 85th and York on the UES. A big (6 feet 250 pounds) Jamaican (heavy accent) looking woman with her small child was walking 2 girls, about 9 or 10 years old, either to or from school. Well, the young boy (about 5 or 6) saw a group of pigeon, run and started kicking them! I told him in loud voice (not screaming on purpose) not to do that. Well the big woman turned around in anger stating "He's just playing" "Don't tell my son what to do". I replied "kicking animals is not playing but it is cruel behavior". She ran towards the birds herself, leaving behind the boy and the 2 girls under her care, the children looked scared by now. I yelled "Are you going to kick the birds too?" She stopped and just made hand movements and noises to scare the birds. I told her "You should not be teaching hate to the children", "People with morals do not condone that kind of behavior in a child" "Ugly and hateful people abuse a small animal that has done nothing to them". She got even more pissed off, with flames coming out of her eyes. She walked fast ahead of me cursing under her breath. Then she crossed the street, towards East End Ave, talking to the kids and looking back and pointing at me. Some people might not think it is a big deal for a young child to kick a distracted pigeon (which indicates the child is already full of rage and hate and lacks respect for animals), but I would never let an angry, abusive person like this woman look over my children.

29 September, 2008

Feeling incredibly awkward...

Received Monday, September 29, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I am a former nanny who now offers care from my home, but still for only one family at a time. Recently I've had to seek employment with a new family, and after four interviews I declined two offers, and was holding out for the family that I thought I would be most compatible with. They did not call for the entire weekend nor by the following Monday afternoon after their Friday afternoon interview. A family that I had turned down due to a lack of consistency in their schedule called me back asking me to consider providing temporary care for their daughter for the remainder of the mother's pregnancy (3 months) because she suddenly found herself on bedrest. They were willing to compromise in scheduling to accommodate me and even share with another family if I found one in the meantime. I agreed.

The next day the family I had been hoping for called me with an offer. I explained that I agreed to a temporary situation already with another family, but that the family was willing to share if they would be open to that. They told me they'd get back with me and then sent me an email asking if I would agree to a reduced rate (about a quarter cut) during the time that they had to share. I agreed that that seemed fair and they agreed to see me in a week from Monday to begin care. During that week and a half they came back to me with an adjustment in their schedule in which they were going to be arriving 45 minutes earlier (5:30am !). I agreed since this is when my husband leaves in the morning anyway. After I started caring for their daughter I realized that they were going to be consistently arriving at around 5:15 am. I approached them about the fact that this was a full hour earlier than we agreed upon in our initial contract, and while it was only five extra hours per week it was a VERY inconvenient five hours. I was perfectly candid with them, and told them that I probably would not have entertained accepting a position with them if these had been the advertised hours. I asked them if they would consider adjusting their rate as I adjusted their schedule. The mother gave me an immediate and adamant NO.

The next thing to happen was when I approached them for a week of vacation time after they'd been with me just over a month. In my contract it states that I will take up to two consecutive (but could be separate) weeks of vacation time, and that I will give them one month notice of time needed. I told them on September 8th that I needed the week of Oct 6-10 to attend a conference with my husband. The mother immediately gave me a firm no, and explained that that was not enough notice for them to make other arrangements. I mentioned that my contract said one month notice, and she responded that this was already the 8th, and that she was "given to understand" that vacation meant summer time. I told her I didn't know who gave her the understanding, because it wasn't I, and that my husband needed me to have this time. I asked her to see what she could arrange before she gave me her answer, and she agreed. She got back to me on it almost a week later and said that they'd arranged something, and was VERY short with me over it. Almost ugly and spiteful in the way she said "so take YOUR vacation, and enjoy it." These two issues compounded with little things here and there really got me considering whether or not I should give them my resignation. It didn't motivate me to stay with them when I began to see how other family is VERY easy going, and great to work for, AND are willing to firm up their schedule for me when the new baby arrives. I agonised over it for a few weeks, and finally when it began to affect my family life (mildly so no details necessary) I decided to resign. I told them last Friday and gave them a very eloquent letter alleviating them of responsibility, and for an entire week the mother has not spoken to me. She corresponds with me through her husband and notes. She won't even look at me when I wave at her. The father told me this past Friday that they found new care, and their daughter's last day would be two weeks from then. TWO more WEEKS? I feel incredibly awkward, and can't stand working with them under these conditions. I feel like I can't call the mother during the day for little details, and the father doesn't have answers to little detail questions. I can't stand the discord, and the feelings it leaves me with long after she's gone. I want to tell her to get over it and act like a professional adult or go ahead and leave. Would you? Or would you just suck it up, and enjoy the little one for the two more weeks?

Eden Prairie Center Play in Eden Prairie, MN

Received Monday, September 29, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nanny Physical description of caregiver: a bit skinny, blonde hair, somewhat had an accent (european), white, dressed in khakis and orange t-shirt. (I saw him twice, so that was just what he was wearing today). Blue eyes.

Physical description of involved child/children: Two children, twins, one boy and one girl. Latino. 15 months. The boy's name is Christian, and I'm pretty sure the little girl's name is Lilly. Not positive on the girl's name though.

Address or venue of observed incident: Eden Prairie Center Play area In Eden Prairie, MN.

Date and time of incident: 09-29-08. 9:30-10:30 A.M

Detailed description of what you witnessed: I witnessed this guy being amazing to these kids. Never once did he take his eyes off them, they seemed like they are new walkers. They would be around him and he would interact with them and encourage them to explore around. The kids seemed very happy with him too. I'm not sure if they're his kids or not, but he was really young, like maybe 18-20?? We were conversing a little and the way he was talking about them made it seem like they were kids he was watching, not his own, and I was very impressed that there are guys who are nannies, just made me smile :)

Question About Gas Reimbursement ....

Received Monday, September 29, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I am a nanny who works full time and uses my car for everything related to my job, including my commute to and from work which is around an hour each way.
How do you get paid for gas money? Does your family give you an allowance per week? Do they pay you per mile? Or is there nothing done about it? I would love to hear from nannies and employers alike!

28 September, 2008

Washington Commons in the West Village - NY

Received Sunday, September 28, 2008.
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nanny On September 23rd, around two or three p.m.
Nanny was about 5'6", hair up in a ponytail, possibly Caribbean, wearing black slacks, a white blouse and a thin gold/tan scarf over her shoulders. Your six-month-old son, Alex- fair skin, dark hair, brown eyes and very cute dimples- was in a black Bugaboo with a Mommy Hook on the handle. Nanny was sitting a few seats down from me, eating her lunch. I'm a nanny as well and I usually see others ignoring their charges completely as long as they're strapped into a stroller, but your nanny made sure to keep Alex entertained, smiling and laughing the entire time. Nanny eventually answered a phone call, but quickly hung up when he started to seem bored and took him for a quick walk around, then picked him up so he could watch the cars and people going down Washington. He loved it and yelled quite happily for a while, especially when people passed by with dogs. Your son looked over in my direction a few times and was so pleased with himself when I noticed him, and I was happy to see that your nanny also had a smile on her face the entire time. We spoke briefly and I didn't think to ask her name, but I hope someone will recognize this description and let the parents know how attentive and kind their nanny is.

27 September, 2008

CL - WTF?

craigs list wtf Saturday, September 27, 2008.
Housekeeper/Nanny Middle village, Queens (Queens)
Hi there, Im a mother of 3 small children 7, 3 1/2 and 2. the two oldest children are in school, so most of you day will be with the two year old. The bus picks up and drops off my 7 year old, You would have to drop off and pick up the 3 year old the school is 1 block away, So im looking for someone to make sure the house is always clean an in order, here are a list of things that would have to be done

Laundry- every Monday and Thursay
fold and put away in proper childs room
vacumme the 3 bedroom- daily
clean the kitchen-daily
clean the bathroom- every tuesday and friday
sweep the floors-daily
mop the floors- monday and wensday and friday
make dinner- daily
Fix beds- daily
windex tvs and dusting- daily
clean the fridge-monday and friday

Im looking for a woman who is as clean or cleaner then me,I have a small place so your day WILL NOT be consumed with just cleaning, I have a beautiful yard that you and the children will go out and play, I always have a packed fridge so you will never go hungry, Im looking for someone who is loving and a good person overall, if you have a small child, im ok with you bringing your baby over, Times are hard and the economy is going threw a slump, so having a job is truly a blessing! hours are Mon,tues,wens,thurs,friday 8am-5pm

The pay is $150 a week
If you dont have papers its ok,
i will consider spanish speaking preferred female 18-60

I work for a cosmectic company so you will get lots of makeup and skincare!! If your a pig in your own home dont apply!! If you hate cleaning dont apply!! if you dont like children dont appy!! Please email me Thanks
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/kid/854835736.html
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WANTED: In Our Home Childcare For 3 month old (20 min east of Madison)
Looking for someone to care for our 3 month old daughter beginning the end of October full time in our country home. Hours would be ~7:30-5:30 but we are flexible. Compensation would $30/day+ depending on experience. Please e-mail with experience and availability to express interest. We look forward to meeting you!
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/854206271.html
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Childcare/Driving Kids To School (Glen Ellyn/IL)
I am searching for a caring and responsible person to watch my two children every weekday from 11:30am-12:45pm. Duties include driving one child to afternoon kindergarten daily and one child to preschool on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Both locations are within 10 minutes of our house. Previous childcare experience is a MUST; please send any questions via email. Compensation is $10/day, paid weekly. No pay for days not worked.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/kid/854283306.html
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Looking for babysitter 11am-1pm MWF (Pointe-Claire)
Hi, I have a 15mo boy and I need someone 3 days a week from 11-1. I can pay 30. a week.
Original URL: http://montreal.en.craigslist.ca/kid/845456662.html
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Nanny Needed ASAP (Buckhead/Brookhaven)
I posted a listing on Thursday but wasn't getting the proper responses and it became difficult to weed out the kind of people I am looking for, so I am trying again. I need a nanny ASAP. Preferably by Monday. If you can't start Monday, skip this ad. Next, I need someone with infant experience. That's a must, as my former nanny (to my dismay and horror) could not make a bottle. I am a little scarred by that. She was nice, she was caring, she cleaned REALLY well (I liked that), but she was incompetent. Competence is a must. I don't like to tell my nanny the obvious. I'd like for her to be hands-on. I don't want someone who will stick my child in the crib and let her cry (my nanny did that too, but her excuse is that she was vacuuming). I expect housework, but I expect it to be done while the baby sleeps (that's about 4 hours a day--not an unreasonable request if you ask me). I don't want my nanny to chat on the phone or watch tv while my baby is awake (if she is sleeping, knock yourself out). Lastly, I pay $400 a week for the following hours 7:30a.m.-4:30p.m. You'd only be responsible for an 8 month-old infant who sleeps for 4+ hours a day. If you are looking for $12-15 an hour, you can skip this ad too. While I'd love to be able to pay that, I am not made of money. If you fit this description, email me your resume WITH REFERENCES. I need contact info of the most recent CHILDCARE positions you held. While I am sure your friends are lovely people, I don't really want to talk to them. Thanks.
Original URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/kid/857561442.html
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I NEED CHILDCARE ASAP (Bronx)
I NEED CHILDCARE FOR MY ONE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IN MY HOME ASAP. I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN BE AT MY HOUSE 6:30 TO 7:30 AM IN THE MORNING AND CAN WORK TILL 4 PM, MONDAY THRU FRIDAY. THE JOB PAYS 180 DOLLARS A WEEK. PLEASE EMAIL ME AND I WILL RESPOND IN A TIMELY MANNER. PLEASE LIST INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF AND INCLUDE REFERENCES. THANK YOU.
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/kid/858208802.html
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Part-Time Live In Nanny Needed (South Fulton)
Wanted Attractive Spanish Speaking Nanny (PT)- Well established professional couple looking for a live in Part time Nanny/Housekeeper needed to help care for a young school aged child and general housekeeping. Will provide room & board plus a weekly stipend. Must be Single with no children. Must be open minded to all adult things.
Original URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/kid/856734341.html
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The Following Ads Are Nannies Looking For Positions:

Short term mother's helper (Hillsboro)
Looking for an extra pair of hands during the week?
I am 27 years old, a homeschool graduate, and love kids without question, hands down. I am the oldest of 5 siblings, the youngest now being 12. I have no formal education in child care, other than 15 years of ministry and practical experience with all ages and in all situations, including autistic children. I've done evening babysitting jobs, weekend, week long, and have had a full-time nanny position for a couple months. Age range of child cared for is newborns to pre-teen and beyond. At one point, I was certified in CPR and First-Aid. I love housework -- not too fond of ironing, however -- and cooking. In short, being a mother's helper is exactly the type of job I would love and thrive in. I love families and I love to support stay at home mothers.

Beyond children I love photography, reading, jogging and traveling. I love to laugh and enjoy life to the fullest! I am a Christian, faithfully attending a church in our area with my family. I realize

I'm a near 2 hour drive from the Madison area, but am willing to do so, as long as payment covers at least gas expenses. Also, a 2-3 day stay in a row would be most appreciated. Available until mid-November.
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/856604427.html
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Babysitting for $15 per day in my home and errands (Bronx area)
hi my name is cristal,i live in the 10469 on bronxwood ave area,if you are interested in having me babysitting for you it will be only $15 per day for kids 5yrs and older,only accepting kids starting at ONE YEARS you will need to provide all the necessities for your child,my hours will be from 7am-6pm mon-fri,i also have a 9 mths old son who would need a playmate,also my husband is a ACS provider,if interested call 718255****,thank you.
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/kid/856668095.html
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Special Thanks to MissDee, NorthJerseyNanny and others. If you would like us to post your Ad, please don't forget to include the URL.
Email Jane to add your Submission to next week's post.

The Trickle Up Effect

Received Saturday, September 26, 2008. - Guest Column by F in NY
Wall Street is busting and the FBI is looking at the CEOs and fatcats, well I dare say, look down; because it is the nanny that is robbing us all blind.

The modern day nanny. Who is she? In New York, she is 40% likely to be from any of the Caribbean Islands, 35 % likely to be Hispanic, 13 percent likely to be American born and 2% likely to be white.
In NYC, the average nanny is an immigrant and hails from a country where she is unlikely to have received an education past the eighth grade. In NYC, the average nanny is 80% likely to make $12 or more per hour. In NYC, the average nanny is 43% likely to make $15 or more per hour. And yet, in NYC, 90% of the nannies are paid off of the books.

So, you are paying these women $12 cash per hour. $12 cash? Depending on your income bracket, that is $16 or more per hour. And $15 cash? Depending on your income bracket, that is $19.20 or more per hour. Are you kidding me?
How hard are we supposed to believe this nannying job is anyway? Unless you are a psychologically afflicted person, if you are a female, you should have an instinct to mother. Yet so many nannies act as if by simply wiping a child’s nose and teaching the child how to count to seven in Portuguess-that they are saving the world? Are you kidding me?

Most nannies get two weeks paid vacations. Some nannies get 4 weeks or more paid vacations. Some nannies make $25 or more per hour. More than fifty percent of the live in nannies with driver’s license in our suburban areas are provided nanny vehicles. Gas and insurance is provided for the nanny.

Oh there are educated nannies. I met a sweet white nanny two weeks ago. She was an American nanny who had dropped out during her third month of cosmetology school.

Let’s go apply for a job. Off to Home Depot, where perhaps one of those sturdy nannies can get a job lifting plywood, starting pay $6.95. How about we take the nanny with the affinity for wake lashes and red eye shadow and get her a job in the cometic’s department of CVS? $7.10 per hour. You want to work in a grocery store? Stand on your feet all day, your only break from the constant work of ringing and bagging groceries, those times when you are lifting boxes and stocking shelves? $6.75 per hour. And guess what, all of these hard working SOBs pay taxes on their hourly wage. They have to wear uniforms and punch clocks and take short, scheduled breaks.
These poor saps have to pack their lunch every day or buy their lunch. The boss is not keeping their favorite foods on hand so they can nosh at will. Nope, that’s just for you ungrateful nannies. Ungrateful nannies who complain about everything they are given not realizing that some of us do realize they deserve far less.

You truly think you are worthy of having your employer pay for your insurance benefits? Let’s go back to that Stop and Shop employee, busting her ass for $6.75 an hour, paying TAXES on that salary and paying for her own food out of that salary, do you think they are going to pay for her insurance?

Then why do you think that your employer should pay your insurance?

I am so sick of these overrated nannies. The lot of them would be deemed unhirable by any of the companies listed above. All of these uneducated women, reclining on Ethan Allen sofas in air conditioned rooms with massive remote controls.. who do they think they are?

And why did you, my sisters, let it get so bad? Out of guilt for leaving your children to return to work, you have been blackmailed into paying way too much money for less than admirable care. It’s a game they are playing, and I say their time is up.

Why are so many CEOS making costly dealing and short selling? No doubt to meet their nanny’s dastardly and greedy demands. Let’s all take a vow to start paying our nannies a fair market wage for this economy. No nanny should be making more than $7.00 per hour tax free. It isn’t right, it isn’t fair and it needs to stop.

If we redefine the roles and let the nannies know that we, the employers are in charge, perhaps they will stop behaving so obstinately and ignorantly. We will tell you when to show up, for how long to work, when to take your breaks and what to do every minute in between time, if we decide. If we have an issue about your job performance, we will tell you flat out how and where you are messing up and you will adjust your performance, not back us into submission with your threats of voodoo.
You will learn to appreciate the comfortable atmosphere our homes provide you, the comfort of our furnishings and the ability to graze at will for free throughout the day. You will stop babbling about infringing on your rights as you will be video taped on a daily basis just like every other employee mentioned in this piece is.

You, the nanny will adjust your attitude and you will say to us, your employers, “thank you for the opportunity to work for you. I appreciate it”.
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Have something on your mind? Let it out. Send submissions to isawyournanny@aol.com. We're always looking for Guest Columns!

Saturday, September 27, 2008.

Would You Pay Your Nanny In Case Of A Natural Disaster?
Would you pay your nanny if a natural disaster hit your area? Monday I received an email from a nanny agency in this area asking me how I got paid during hurricane Ike. They sent me an email today with the poll results: 80% said wages were unaffected, 10% said wages would be somewhat reduced, 10% said no wages were paid during the time not worked.

Some families chose to pay a full wage but not pay the normal gas allowance since no driving was done. Some nannies worked a weekend in exchange for their normal scheduled days. One family had their nanny stay at their house during the storm's aftermath.

I ended up missing 7 days all together and my boss paid me for the entire time minus gas money (which is understandable) So what would you do? Would you pay your nanny the full amount? Half pay? Work out something else?
Special Thanks to TC for this Submission.

Mom's Education On Asperger Syndrome Leads To Book
Onlookers in her East Coast town would shake their head condescendingly. “Discipline him more — all he needs is a whack on the bottom,” they would tell the frazzled mother. What they didn’t know was that discipline didn’t work. Nobody understood.
“I had a degree in psychology and had worked as a nanny — I thought being a mom would be easy for me,” Mann said. “So it was very frustrating when I couldn’t soothe my own child. A lot of times, I felt like a bad mom.”

26 September, 2008

Nanny Would Like To Renew Contract... But With Perks

Received Friday, September 26, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
My contract ends soon and my employers have told me they'd like me to renew. After my first year I asked for and was denied a raise on the basis that it wasn't in their childcare budget. I'm the kind of person who needs to be recognized monetarily to have a happy working environment and a continued interest in doing my job well. I don't need THIS particular job as much now as I did same time last year, because my husband is working now too.
I feel like I might have a renewed energy for this family if they offered me a good raise and/or some fabulous perks. Basically all I get now is paid, paid on the books, paid on time, paid when they don't need me (their vacation, sometimes when they come home early, and most major holidays), and 3 sick days that evaporate into nothing if I don't use them. I did get a Christmas bonus smaller than a week's pay, but never anything for my birthday.
I don't mean to sound greedy, I just absolutely feel they are doing the least possible to keep me around, even though they SAY they want me to stay. This situation, unlike with my previous families, is just a job to me. I do my best to love the kids and raise them well, and we have tons of fun and learn a lot from each other, but I have absolutely no connection with the parents.

I'm inches from not renewing my contract. I have a few weeks to figure this all out, so any advice you can give I will take to heart. I'm interested in:

1. what kind of perks it might be okay to ask for/what you think I deserve after a full two years of loyal and excellent childcare for two children in NYC
2. out-of-the-ordinary perks like gym membership...what else have you heard of?
and largest:
3. whether I should keep this job? with the craziness of the economy, is it hard to find a good nanny job right now?
4. Should I tell my employers that I may become pregnant in the coming year and work maternity leave into the contract?

My husband and I are planning to start a family in the next year and I'm struggling with the uncertainty - I'll definitely still need to work, at least for a while, when I'm a mother. My current work situation seems like adding a baby to my regular workday would work out fine. I wonder if my baby would be welcome to come with me or if at that point they'd want a new nanny.
Which of these things do you think I should address with them at our inevitable yearly meeting? Thanks so much for your help. I look forward to your responses

What to tell the children....

UPDATE
Received Friday, September 26, 2008
I am completely surprised and shocked by the comments that my post received.

I am stunned by the fact that a majority of posters felt that I accused Ronda of theft or stealing.

Maybe you all misread my post. Ronda was in possession of a debit card that I gave her. She was authorized to make charges on the card to pay for expenses. I did not ACCUSE her of using the card.

When I told her that the account was overdrawn, she told me she didn’t know how that happened because she had checked the balance prior to making a charge on the account for candy at a store that I had asked her to do.

I told her there was a charge at the local grocery store in the same shopping plaza near my home on the same date as the day she picked up the candy on the way to pick up the girls at school.

She said she didn’t make the charge and that she never shops at that store (which is not true b/c she has picked up supplies for me at that store at my direction).

I accepted her denial that she made the charge that overdrew the account and told her I would dispute the charge with the Bank. I then called the bank to find out how to file a dispute.

I did not accuse Ronda of lying or stealing.

In addition, I don’t consider my requirement that she be reasonably available by telephone unreasonable. And I don’t think it has to rise to the level of an emergency to warrant a telephone call.

For example, my mother wanted to take the girls swimming after school with Ronda. That required a telephone call to inform her and let her know to bring her bathing suit. That call, of course, went unanswered. So, my mother had to wait and wonder whether or not Ronda even got the message and whether they would be taking the girls swimming after school.

As for asking her long-term, live-in boyfriend about what happened, I felt that was an appropriate line of communication because when Ronda was sick, she had her boyfriend Mike call in to tell my mom, not me, that she would not be coming into work.

And I am not controlling in the least. Ronda was paid a flat rate to come in and do the work at the hours she set with the exception of picking my children up from school. She only had 5 hours (4-6:30) of which she had to account to me. The rest of her work was done in the time she decided and that was fine by me as long as the work got done.

As for my children’s feelings, yes, I do believe they are paramount to a 40+ something adult nanny’s. Adults should act mature and professional in their dealings. They should make accommodations for children over their own self interest.

Also, the fact that many of you stated you would walk off your job with no notice, shows me just the type of people you are. I am an attorney by profession and under our rules of ethics, we cannot just dump a client who displeases us. We have a fiduciary duty to our clients.

Walking off a job without notice is unprofessional in any profession.

Do you think it would be fair to a Nanny to fire her by voice mail message without offering her severance pay?

That is tantamount to “quitting” without notice, as in “I’m quitting paying you, you’re done working here.”

As for what I told my children, well, I’m in the fortunate position of being able to write the history here. I told Raquel last night that Ronda didn’t want to work for us anymore, that I tried calling her, but she would not answer. I told her that she got something screwed up in her head, but not to worry, we would make new friends who didn’t have something screwed up in their head. Raquel agreed that she didn’t need a friend with something screwed up in their head.

As for Ronda, I sent her a text message and told her that I told the girls she was dead.

Vengeance is mine....

Original Post:
Received Saturday, September 20, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
What do you tell your children when your Nanny quits with no notice?

I employed Ronda beginning when my twin girls were 3 months old as their night nurse. I transitioned her into day time care for a couple of days a week. Ronda always worked hard and did things above and beyond the call of duty; washing cloths, cleaning up, etc…Ronda even took my children for sleepovers at her house on occasion and my children grew to love her very much.

Ronda was not without fault however. Ronda was stubborn to a fault, should could not stand to have anyone around when she was caring for the children, you could not reach her by telephone after hours to ask her about scheduling, and she NEVER asked for time off but would go behind my back and asks my mother if she could care for the girls in her absence and I was only informed after the fact. But, my children loved her, so I took the bitter with the sweet.

Even when Ronda took a job with another couple who required her to travel, I put up with her frequent absences as I agreed to that condition so she would continue working for me. When she was absent over 50% of the time she was supposed to work, I was forced to enroll them in pre-school at the age of 18 months so that I would have reliable childcare.

But, just to keep Ronda in the girls lives because they loved her so much, I agreed to keep her on 2 half days where she would continue to do their laundry, make their lunches, and pick them up early from school. I paid her for 10 hours of work at the rate of $15, which included only 5 hours of child care.

Last winter, when her husband was unemployed, I fired our maid and allowed Ronda to do the cleaning so she could get additional pay. When the other couple fired her because she refused to travel with them, I got her a new job 5 months ago with a friend of mine.

I maintained a bank account and gave her the debit card to charge expenses for my children and groceries. Right before Labor Day weekend, I noticed the account was overdrawn and bank charges were accruing. I called her up to tell her not to use the debit card until I could replenish the account and I asked her about over drafting the account.

She told me that she did make the charge that caused the overdraft. I was puzzled because the only way to get money out of that account was by using the debit card, which she had possession of. I told her I would dispute the charge with the bank.

The next day, a Friday, I noticed another debit charge to the account made in our City when I knew that Ronda was traveling out of town. I believed that someone had gained unauthorized access to my account. Since it was 6 p.m. on a Friday, I panicked. I called the bank and they told me it was possible to block the debt card. I tried calling Ronda several times to get the number off the debit card and when she didn’t pick up, I got exasperated at never being able to get in touch with her on the telephone and left a message asking her “can you EVER answer the phone?!”

After a series confusing calls with the bank to block the debit card, I discovered that I was the culprit. Earlier in the week, I had received a debit card that I believed to be linked to the account I use. When I tested it out, the ATM machine said I used the wrong PIN. I had the PIN reset to my normal PIN. It was me making the debit charges with the card linked to the expense account.

So, I called Ronda up, and as par for the course, could only get her voice mail. But I left a message explaining what had happened. I also sent her a text message that we needed to discuss the telephone access issue because I could never reach her by phone when I needed to.

The next day, she called me up and we discussed the incident, I apologized for my messages and we left it at that. She worked the next Tuesday and Thursday as scheduled. I called her at 6:30 on Thursday because I was going to be late and she said she could stay until me or my husband got home. My husband arrived before I did and she left without saying a word.

On Friday morning, Ronda left a voice message on my work phone at 8 a.m. stating that she was resigning and that her letter of resignation was in the cabinet above the desk in the family room. Ronad knows I never get to work before 9:30.

I tried calling her several times to discuss this and she would not answer the phone as usual. I called and spoke to her live-in boyfriend who explained that “She told you she didn’t use that card…” He also told me how upset she was on her vacation by the voice messages that I left trying to contact her about the debit card.

I asked him whether he thought that quitting without notice by voice message was reasonable and his response was that she quit and I should just move on. I asked him if he thought it would be fair to Ronda if I were to fire her by leaving her a voice message. For this, he had no answer.

Since then, I’ve not heard from Ronda. I have made up excuses to my children as to why she is picking them up from school. It breaks my heart, like when this morning, my daughter told me she wanted to go see Ronda and her daughter Amber. I told them she was out of town.

What do I tell my children?

They are only 3 years old and I don’t want them to feel sad since they’ve lost a friend so sudden and unexpectedly with no explanation.

Btw, the letter that I finally found after emptying out the entire contents of the cupboard stated that she was quitting because of “unresolved differences”. She never spoke to me EVER about any problems. She did however tell my friend who she works for that I accused her of something she just can’t get past. This just never happened.

I can't express how bitter I am about allowing this women to endear herself to my children and then betraying us in this manner. If she didn't want to work for me that is fine. To quit her employment in such as passive, aggressive and hostile manner, with no regard for my children is unconsionable.

Please keep Children safe around water ....

UPDATE:
Received Friday, September 26, 2008.
Many of you might remember that My Husband's Co-worker's child nearly drowned in a public pool in Secaucus NJ. I am happy to report he is home from the hospital and is going through intensive therapy to try to gain back some of the mental functions lost due to oxygen deprivation. He is not yet walking or talking, but he has started recognizing people and responding in a limited capacity. It is not yet known what his long term progress will be, but his just being alive is more than his parents had dared to hope for.

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes, and please...keep your children and those in your care safe around water. Never take for granted because they are strong swimmers, older or in shallow water, they can be left unattended. This boy is 9, was in a pool no deeper than 4.5 feet, and was an excellent swimmer. It is still not known what exactly happened.

25 September, 2008

Mom Incensed By Nanny's Demand For Extra Pay ....

UPDATE:
Received Thursday, September 25, 2008
Hi MPP. I just wanted to drop a thank you note and update. I posted two weeks ago when I was upset that my nanny had asked for a raise in pay in a less than tactful way because my child was diagnosed with PDD-NOS. The comments and advise I received were supportive and helpful (with the notable exception of one unkind poster), and help me calm myself down and have what turned into a series of very productive discussions with my nanny. First, I told her I considered her request, but since she does not have any additional skills to help him right now, and he is not difficult to care for right now (which she agreed is the case too), and is actually doing less hours for the same money, I would not consider her for a raise until her normal yearly review date. She seemed to understand and did not argue. To clear the air, I told her I was hurt by the way she broached the subject and her comparisons. She apologized profusely and explained she did not mean it as an insult. She went on to say she realizes she makes good money, but that there was a specific reason she decided she needed more. She said working with my son, seeing how we both dismissed "quirks" that turned out to be so much more, and observing the evaluators and therapists that see him have inspired her to go back to school to become a special education teacher. (She already has a degree in an unrelated field). I felt good that she really was the person I thought she was. However, the discussion got me thinking about how my graduate school was funded--my firm fully paid for me to get my Masters in a part time evening program in return for me signing a contract to commit to achieving B+ or better grades and working for them for two years following completion of my degree or reimburse them for my tuition. I took a good look at the school she mentioned she had been looking into (and my finances) and decided to make my nanny the same offer since her education would benefit my son. Plus, having her commit to staying with us while working towards and after getting her degree is a big plus--she gets to work towards entering the field she wants and we get a nanny with increasing levels of training in caring for special needs children and don't have to worry about transitioning to a new nanny and can focus on my son's treatment. I made her the offer tonight and she seemed very happy, but I told her to not jump at it right away and take a week to think carefully about whether she really wants to make the grades and time commitment (there were times I was not happy about the restrictions when getting my Masters), but it looks like things will work out.

ORIGINAL POST
Received September 13, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
Am I being insensitive or is my nanny? I am a full time working Mom and was a fairly regular ISYN poster until a few months ago. During that time I have been busy visiting doctors and taking my youngest for tests. He is two now and still is not talking, does not seem to always hear us when we call, and some behaviors that started as funny quirks have turned downright odd (like spinning all over the room like a top, and almost obsessively lining up toys, silverware, etc).

After a month of tests and doctors, he was diagnosed with PDD-NOS. He has started behavioral therapy at a school nearby five days a week for three hours a day and has speech therapy in my home three days a week for 45 minutes.

Today my nanny told me that since she is taking care of a "special needs" child she should get a significant raise and babbled on about someone she knows who takes care a retarded (her term, not mine) boy and makes much more than her. I was taken aback (and honestly insulted), bit my lip and told her we would discuss it next week, but the more I think of it the angrier I get.

I pay well--about 10% above my neighbors and my son is not any extra burden--he is the same sweet, funny child he was last month and all she needs to do that's "extra" is transport him to a pre-school like program a year earlier than we planned. And, rather than having to engage and play with a toddler for 9 hours a day, she has 3 to 4 hours a day where she is not responsible for him and can relax and do what she wants. Part of me wants to tell her no way and if you don't like the job leave, but she does a good job and does seem to genuinely care for my children.
I know that I am overly emotional right now--but am I wrong to be offended by her request and am I wrong to say no?

24 September, 2008

Starbucks on 23rd off of Park Ave south - NY

Received Wednesday, September 24, 2008.
nanny sighting logo I was just in a Starbucks on 23rd off of Park Ave south (Wednesday 9/24 3:30pm) and saw a pretty young woman aupair or sitter (pretty sure was not a mom) with blond hair in an pony tail or bun with two kids, one infant in a carrrier that could have been and one 2-3 yr old sleeping in a grey mclaren with a red boogie board on the back. The aupair left the older child sleeping in the stroller at the front of the store near the doors in a very crowded starbucks while she waited for her coffee at the bar all the way in the back of the store.
She checked on him once or twice but he was definetly out of her view most of the time. While the sitter seems sweet, I would absolutely not want my sleeping child alone by an exit in a crowded starbucks in new york city. If this is your sitter please have a talk with her.

Nanny Needs To Reduce Schedule For Bar Exam

Received Wednesday, September 24, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I have a question about revising my work schedule or giving notice. I have been a nanny to a wonderful family with one baby girl for the past 3 months. They have been beyond fantastic to me - although the pay is decent, they give me great perks - free shoes & athletic gear (they both are execs at a shoe company), take out lunches once or twice a week, ability to bring my daughter to work during school holidays, expensive b-day presents, etc.

When I interviewed with them, we agreed on a commitment of at least 6 months-1 year. I am a law school graduate, who has never taken the Bar exam to get licensed to become an attorney. (Although I graduated 4 years ago, after a separation from my ex-husband, I decided that I didn't want to work in a corporate law environment working 60+ hours a week, and preferred returning to nannying so that I could focus on helping our daughter during the transition.)

However, for financial and family reasons, I would like to take the Bar exam in February. Ideally, I'd like to continue to work for this family, since we all love each other, but reduce my schedule to 2-3 days a week from December - February. Then in March, I'd like to go back to full-time with them until I find an attorney job, which could take 6 months or longer. If they agree to my ideal plan, then they'd need to find a temporary nanny to work 2-3 days a week during the 3 months that I would be studying.

So, my questions are: How do I approach this issue with them? Does it seem like it would be asking too much of them to get a temporary nanny in order to help me out and then take me back full-time until I find an attorney position? Also, given that December is months away, when should I have this talk with them?

UTC Mall in San Diego, CA

Received Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nanny Physical description of caregiver:
Blonde, twentyish, wearing biege shorts and a black printed sleeveless shirt. Her hair was up in a casual bun. She was pushing a double Bob stroller.

Physical description of involved child/children:
She was with a three-year-old girl, possibly named Vivienne and one-year-old twins (a boy and a girl). The three-year-old was wearing shorts and a striped shirt. The boy twin was wearing a blue and brown polo style shirt and brown pants. The girl twin was wearing a green and white cotton dress.

Address or venue of observed incident:
The play area at the UTC mall in San Diego.
Date and time of incident: Around 5PM on Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Detailed description of what you witnessed: Even though she was there with three active and curious kids, your nanny was completely on the ball. She observed and enthusiastically engaged with all three children. It was late in the day (I don't know how long she had been with your children) and she displayed so much energy, love, care and patience for her charges. I was there for about a half an hour and not once did she sit down or ignore your children. I was so impressed.

You have an amazing and loving nanny. Congratulations!

Wednesday September 24, 2008.

591 Pages Of Discovery Released In Casey Anthony Case
The Orange Osceola, Fla., State Attorney’s Office released 591 pages of discovery in the Casey Anthony case Tuesday.The discovery includes depositions, phone and text messages made by the defendant. Click on the links to read the transcript of interviews with investigators.
Transcript Of Anthony Lazaro Interview 7/22/2008
Transcript Of Amy Huizenga Interview 7/23/2008
Transcript Of Jesse Grund Interview 7/23/2008
Transcript Of Brittany Schieber Interview 7/24/2008
Transcript Of Troy Brown Interview 7/25/2008
Transcript Of Ricardo Morales Interview 7/25/2008
Transcript Of Lee Anthony Interview 7/29/2008
Transcript Of Brian Burner Interview 7/30/2008
Transcript Of William Waters Interview 7/30/2008
Transcript Of Lauren Gibbs Interview 8/1/2008

UPDATE: Saturday, September 27, 2008.
More Documents Released
Includes the above Transcripts and many others just released.
What You Didn't Know About Casey Anthony
Breaking down the new Evidence.

23 September, 2008

Nanny's Peanut Butter Foot Fetish Disturbs Employer

Received Tuesday, September 23, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I don't know what to do.
My situation is unlike any others and a situation I am hesitant to share.

Some background, I am a professionally employed mother of three. In April, after an exhaustive, all inclusive search, I hired an English nanny to come and care for my three children, all of whom are under the age of 10.The nanny seemed to be a great, not good match. She wasn't perfect, but she far exceeded our expectations. She is the sort of nanny that other parents took time to make mention of.

In the beginning, we had a nanny camera set up in three rooms of the house, all common areas. The kitchen, family room and play room. After the first three months, we ceased using it. It is a system which depends on the changing of vhs tapes for recording. As such, nothing has been recorded for the past three, possibly more months. Even after the first month, we ceased being diligent about setting the camera and were even less vigilant about reviewing the footage.

I went to transfer some old home movie video footage to a VHS tape so that I could take it to the photo store and have it made to a CD. Of course, we don't use VHS tapes anywhere, except in the nanny camera, so I went and retrieved a tape from the nanny camera and found the only tv with a vcr slot and set about transfering the video, when for no reason in particular, I decided to see what was on the tape.The tape was largely uneventful until I got to one part of the tape. What I saw shocked me to my very core. It was nothing I was expecting, and having seen the footage, I do not know how to procede, because you see, the children were not present during this segment of footage.

I caught the nanny in what I can best describe as a disturbingly intimate moment. I had to rewind the tape to make certain I was seeing what I thought was seeing.The nanny, for reasons unknown to me plopped on the sofa in front of the television during what had to have been a time the youngest was napping and the oldest two were at school. In her hand she had a jar of peanut butter. I had to rewind to make certain, but only after what I saw what occured next. The nanny used her fingers to dip into the peanut butter container and had a glop of peanut butter on her fingers which she then spread on her feet and toes. She then kicked her feet up on a coffee table and hollared off camera. Our beloved pet yellow lab came immediately and began licking her feet. The nanny added more peanut butter at various points during this disturbing imagery which while I wanted to switch off, I could not. The nanny was at points writhing about on our (family) sofa.

This all transpired on Sunday. It is now Tuesday and I haven't said a solitary word to anyone about this. My husband returns from his trip on Thursday and I plan to show him the video and consult him. But as a prelude to this, and because men react differently than females, do you understand why I no longer want her in my employ? Ideally, I would terminate the nanny but because of her performance, I have no reason to do such. I don't think I could ever mention to her about the camera or footage because she would have to live with that knowledge the rest of her life, but I do wonder how you go about terminating a good employee. Before I saw this footage, I would have used words like spectacular and great.
She did relocate from England to come and work for us, so I too must consider this.

'Driver Down' Needs A Raise ....

Received Tuesday, September 23, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I have been working for the same family for about 2 months (live in) now, (I am the same poster who posted the 'driver down' story). Currently watching 1 of their 2 younger children as the older of the two is in preschool. I work an average of 50-55 hours a week. I dont make alot. Plus I go to school. The mother wants to pull her daughter out of school and keep her with me during the day. Now am I wrong in asking for more money? How do I approach this?

CL - WTF?

craigs list wtf Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I Am Not Mary Poppins (Anywhere Close To Gaithersburg)
I am not Mary Poppins. For those parents out there who are seeking the quintessential nanny who never gets tired, with a permanent smile like a Botox injection gone wrong, takes every insult with a dose of humor and breaks out in a song and dance ensemble, a nanny that has a lengthy list of credentials deemed necessary to raise a prodigy .. I am not that person. What I am is a regular run-of-the mill nanny and by all accounts not a super human. So no I will not smile and cringe when Little Becky Sue kicks me in the shin. As a parent would you? No I will not work overtime for free. Do you? No I do not want to know any personal problems nor do I wish to divulge any of mine to you. No I will not use my car to drive to Little Todd’s play dates and keep quiet about the expenses so that you can dine at a five star restaurant while I eat spam with a straw. I don’t care if you decide to leave the children and run across the border as long as you send a post card and my check. I will not be your butler, maid, secretary or yes-man to stroke your ego. I do not care where you live and how you live. If you want to use your tidey whiteys for a dust rag that is your business. I do not wish to sit on the floor of your home all day pretending to enjoy a mind numbing game of tea with Little Rebecca when you don’t even want to do it. I will not pretend to smile first thing in the morning if I do not feel like it just to be polite. I will not run your errands for you as I am not a courier service. I will not hug, kiss and whisper sweet nothings to your kids in an effort to win their affections. I am not trying to be their friend. I will not eat from you refrigerator or cupboards so no need to count the eggs or the chickens in the chicken coop for that matter before you leave home. I will let your kids watch tv until they go into a coma if that is what they are accustomed to. If your child has a problem respecting those in authority I will let Little Billy continue to jump on the bed and sofa until he learns the true definition of concussion. No I will not come over last minute because…. Surprise!!! I have a life too. Please don’t answer your door choked up with your bed linen around your neck for a scarf trying to look dignified carrying an arm’s length list of questions to intimidate me when I come over for an interview because I will reciprocate the kindness and play the game of Jeopardy with you. Do not give me excuses as to why you were late just pay me for my overtime because the bill collector doesn’t care why I didn’t send this month’s payment on time. Do not ask me to prepare a five course meal for the kids everyday when all you do is feed them sugar when I am not there. Call Chef Gordon Ramsey for that. Do not presume that my arithmetic is not up to par with yours and shorten my pay by a couple dollars and pretend that you are being fair and that somehow, just somehow I should just be content with the notion that I have “the world’s greatest job”. If you are unhappy with your life and wait for me to come in the mornings to harass me… you will be even unhappier and decide to take that leap from the ledge by the time I leave. Do not talk down to me because you think I am so desperate for a job or uneducated, unless you are just in the mood to play a game of the battle of wits. Now if I ask you to get the necessary supplies to help Little Johnny do his homework and be a better pupil do not expect me to spend my money and acquire these necessities and let it slide. I am very resourceful and..... Click here to finish reading this post and all of the other odd selections MPP gathered this week.

24th Street and 8th Ave in NYC

Received Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nanny This was late Sunday afternoon, about 6:15, in the round park located on the North side of 24th St between 8th and 9th Aves. Your nanny, light skinned black or maybe latina (or possibly even Native American, I’m just not sure) was playing “baseball” with your son Joseph, who is about 2 or 2.5 years old (he had curly blond hair and was wearing a red and gray horizontal striped sweater). She was gently tossing a big soft ball to him and he would swing at it with a foam bat. If he hit any part of it (which happened a decent amount because she aimed her tosses at the bat), she would start clapping and yell at him to run to the base and he would laugh and run a little ways away. When he got there they would both clap and she would call out what a good job he did.

They were having a great time and they were both completely involved in the game. They were friendly with the kids and caregivers around them, but she was clearly focused on playing with Joseph.

Just wanted to let the parents know that Joseph is having fun and being well cared for.

22 September, 2008

What Would Be The Ultimate Thank You?

Received Monday, September 22, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
This past weekend, our babysitter rescued our younger son from drowning. We are at a complete loss as to how to thank her--money seems trite, but maybe I'm wrong. Please let me know any and all ideas--I appreciate it!

Downtown Salt Lake City, Utah

Received Monday, September 22, 2008
nanny sighting logo Physical description of caregiver:
About 5/11 heavy set LONG brown hair has 3 girls of her own....
Physical description of involved child/children: small 3 year old light blond hair very happy little girl, about 4 years old Blonde hair little boy, 6 and 7 year old sisters both brown hair..
Address or venue of observed incident: The park across from her house.. and at her house. In downtown SLC in a little place called Sweed town right by the metal works factory
Date and time of incident: Many times.

Detailed description of what you witnessed: She would snap at the 2 younger kids about hitting and misbehaving yet her kids would be out of control and not do anything... It was sad her Children are 1, 2, and 4 all girls... Her oldest is a screamer hitter YELLS and back talks and Is rude Has spit on my child on many times... Blamed the older kids for breaking DVDs when Her mother clearly sees this.. The 6 and 7 year old little girls Where worked to the bone Would come crying to me asking me to watch them again. Which I tired talking to there mother she put them in the care of someone better thank goodness... But she has ads up on KSL.com and craigslist.com about watching children in her home and makes me want to cry... She has turned away her own sister and when her sister took her to someone else tells the lady to charge her $600 a month for the baby... when she is HIGHLY underpaid and she tells people to charge more so she gets her child care back she lies to the parents and someone gets the kids to lie also to there parents. I took my child out of her care when My daughter came home with a HUGE bruise on her back one day and that is when I started Observing more and paying attention to how she treats other kids and it was SHOCKED to see this behavior.... I tried calling the police but they said that there was no proof and That it could have been a accident...

Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: Green 4 door

Hazard Pay?

Received Monday, September 22, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I have a wonderful nanny who has been with my family for 2 years. My children absolutely adore her and she is constantly going above and beyond.

So...Friday, our nanny texts me that my oldest daughter (4) threw up when she woke up from nap...all over her bed...sheets/comforter and her clothes all needed washed, which my nanny washed. I called to see what was wrong and if I needed to call the doctor, nanny didn't answer the phone, but called right back and apologized....she was in the middle of cleaning up my baby's blow out diaper, which got all over his clothes as well.

After deciding it is just my daughter's cold, and drainage that caused her to throw up, I send my husband, who works a lot closer to home than I do, to bring home some 7-up, to help settle our oldest daughter's stomach. My daughter had no other symptoms and already was playing like she was fine again, otherwise I would have immediately gone home...we don't make our nanny watch the kids when they are sick.

So, I call one more time to check on everyone and nanny says when she opened the 7-up that my husband ran inside (and must have shook up), it exploded and she was currently cleaning the sticky kitchen floor, but everyone was ok.

I felt horrible for her day and came home early so she could have the afternoon off and start her weekend early.

But, is there 'hazard' pay for a day like this?? if so what? Would a nice gift suffice, or a gift card to somewhere?

Pink Eye?

Received Monday, September 22, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
In a household that consists of two parents, two children of germ spreading age and one nanny who lives in during the week, only; how coincidental would you estimate it to be that the last three times the nanny was ill, no one else in the house was ill, except the husband who was affected by the same symptoms and disease? As I write this, my husband has a suspicious case of raging conjunctivitis, the nanny does not; but I cannot help but wonder what got in DH's eye. Am I overreacting? Would I be as suspicious if nanny was not a young twenties knockout?

Houston Zoo - 9:30am to 11:00am

Received Monday, September 22, 2008.
nanny sighting logo I saw a nanny today at the Houston zoo who wasn't watching the children in her care. She was on her cell phone the entire time and she would walk off and leave the kids looking at something. She would walk far enough off that she couldn't see the kids and on two occasions she left the exhibit completely with the kids still in there.

At the monkey exhibit the youngest was still looking at the orangutan and the nanny walked off with the other two while calling over her shoulder for Walker to come on. He stood there and she continued to walk and was completely out of the area while he was still looking at the monkey.The same thing happened in the bird area. She was no where to be found and Walker came up to us and started looking at the birds. My sister in law and I looked around for his caretaker and about 5 minutes later she walks up and tells him to come on.

Nanny was Mexican, youngish probably in her early to mid twenties. She had a small white purse with her and she talked Spanish on her cell phone but from what I heard her say to the kids she spoke English very well.

She had 3 kids with her. Two boys and a little girl. The oldest looked to be around 5 and the youngest two might have been twins or they were very close in age. They looked to be around 3 and both looked potty trained. Walker had a striped shirt on and shorts and the little girl was carrying a well loved/worn yellow duck. All 3 kids were dressed in short sleeves and shorts and the little girl was in pink. The shorts were solid pink but the shirt had a design.

We saw her from around 9:30 am to 11:00 am.

She wasn't abusive to the kids but even in a city as relatively safe as Houston it's never a good idea to let a child wander off.

Head Honcho Takes Advantage Of Ex-Nanny ....

Received Monday, September 22, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I worked as a nanny for this family for the pass 2 years. This very well known family (CEO for huge company) fired me because i requested time off. My husband got very sick and he needed my assistance. Since they paid me under the table all this time there is nothing i can do. They held money for my savings wich they didn't pay me (1,500.) and also i didn't get my last pay check. I loved this family and their children, at the end they turn things around. The way they fired my was unfair, by text message. Can anyone tell me what i should do?

21 September, 2008

CL - WTF #11 in a Series

Sunday, September 21, 2008
craigs list wtf
Seeking au pair with newborn experience, unique situation ... (Brooklyn, NY)
Earliest starting date is from October 2008 until spring 2009. Short or long term stay. Must have experience with infants and please provide references.Minimum hours of help required when baby arrives. Age range 18-30, male or female, European or South American preferred. Please speak sufficient English, and I will offer to help your English if you teach me your language in return. Your room will be furnished. We don't drive or own a car, please be accustomed to the subway system. You are not required to do any routine cleaning, housekeeping or cooking... but please be reasonably clean and willing to help out if needed. Smoking is permitted outside the home.

About us: We are a young couple, two artists, new to parenting and expecting our first child early March 2009. I work in graphic design from home, and my husband works full time outside the home. We live in our 2 bedroom apartment in a safe and beautiful part of Brooklyn, very close to the beach and 45 minute commute on train to Manhattan. Our neighborhood is very Russian so if you are coming from that area you will fit in very well.

Living situation: From October 2008 until February 2009 you must pay rent for the room. For this time period there is no baby to look after yet so you can spend your time as you please. After the baby arrives you will work flexible schedule for room. You won't receive pay, however we can help you if you are trying to start a career or find a job. We are looking for the right person, someone down to earth that we can truly get along with. We are especially interested in ambitious people, so if you are coming to New York for school or a career we will have a great relationship. Thanks for your time and good luck!
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/kid/839063430.html
________________________________________________________

Nanny needed (Montreal)
I'm looking for a full time nanny, must be very experienced with children as my baby is under 6 months old. Preferably a student in ECE.The position would be 12pm-6pm daily,Monday-Thursday offering 450/monthly mainly child care and light housekeeping possibly. If you are interested please contact me. Regards
Original URL: http://montreal.en.craigslist.ca/kid/839750662.html
_______________________________________________________
Read all of this weeks CL-WTF ads by clicking HERE.

20 September, 2008

Nanny not interested in being poached ....

Received Saturday, September 2o, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I have a sticky situation I would like some help with. I work for a nice family. I am not completely happy but in these tough times I am sticking to it. The problem is the family's friends. There are two moms who are friendly with the mother I work with. They are both SAHM who employ Au Pairs and they are not at all happy with their current situations which they voice to me nearly on a daily basis.

The problem is they both keep asking me to come work for them. At first I thought they were not serious but now it's happened so many times I am beginning to think they are! How can they be trying to poach a friend's nanny???!!! I have now taken to avoiding them at the playground as this is making me very uncomfortable. I don't want to make any waves. I keep laughing it off and saying no like it's a joke but they are becoming more aggressive in their approach, even asking how much I make there and what my responsibilities are etc. How do I say firmly yet nicely that I want them to stop asking and that I am not going to change jobs?

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Credit Crunch Sends Shivers Across Nanny Market
Watch out Mary Poppins, the hurricane howling through the world's financial markets is starting to be felt in the rarefied world of the British nanny. While she said she had not yet seen a flood of nannies looking for work, Julie Bremner, owner of Knightsbridge Nannies expected it come in the near future. "It will happen, but not yet. I expect a rush of nannies coming onto my books -- which is great for my clients because we have always had a supply problem," she added.

As Times Turn Tough, New York's Wealthy Economize
The financial crisis on Wall Street has New York's well-to-do reeling. The people who fuel the area's economy with their spending on art, fashion, cars, restaurants, plastic surgery and other luxe goods and services are starting to cut back once-lavish budgets. As a result, those who cater to their every whim -- from nanny agencies to jewelers to yacht builders -- are seeing clients tighten their belts on expenses from the millions to the thousands.

The Punching Bag....Part II

Received Saturday, September 20, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I posted last week in which the title was 'the punching bag', now things are bordering on crazy. I did leave my position on Saturday, two days before my two week notice. The family was rude and mean my last days. The mother on more than one account verbally attacked me. She called me a fraud. The oldest child (the puncher)told her the day I left a lot of things, she accused me of "ignoring him, the sarcastic comments, making fun of him, playing an talking on your phone while the children are awake, the favoritism, and the neglect". I have NEVER neglected those children nor the other outlanding accusations she made. He was underweight until I got there, after my first month and a half I had him in the normal weight range. NEVER did I make fun of him. NEVER did I do any of the other things. The time I spent on the phone (my own personal phone) was spent talking to her, because she was never home and called 24/7 to check up on her oldest son, never her youngest. She wrote me a note which said; "You claimed you were kinder and more affectionable. We feel so betrayed that you were not."..."The damage you have done here to our children is unimaginable." I had never heard any negative comments about me until after I gave my notice, the time before when I told her I thought we needed to separate she talked me out of it. Am I out of my mind or does this women seem off balance? She told me that "upon review of your references it appears you have left on bad terms and on short notice with most of your families". This is false, never did I leave with short notice, only her family. I gave two weeks on my first nanny job, and a month on my au pair job. Of course I have had jobs that did not work out, specifically my first nanny job where the child was hitting me, (she promised her child would not hit when I told her of this account), and made this clear in my initial emails where I stated that unfortunately I have had nanny jobs that ended on bad terms. I however am still close with several families that I've worked for. She told me the day I left (while she was slinging my employment contract in my face) that she was going to call all the families on the list and seek legal action against me if I stole from her or left the house a mess. Is it my fault she never bothered to check my references before I came? Today I received an email from a family in Germany I worked for, while it was vague she said a lady called wanting a reference. I have not given there phone number to anyone but the family I just left. Should I be worried that she is contacting my past employers wanting information on me? Do I need to be fearful that she will take legal action against me for "fraud and misrepresentation"? She is a lawyer and she did threaten me before I left. I just want this whole thing to be over. Is there any way to get her to just leave me alone? I need any advice to make this horrid situation just go away.

19 September, 2008

Insurance on the DL ?

Received Friday, September 19, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I need some advice. My husband does not believe in paying for health insurance, it is an argument we have had more than once. The nanny I have now is wonderful, and I would like to provide her health insurance. Rather than have this argument again with my husband, how hard would it be for me to obtain health insurance for my nanny on my own. This would mean it could not be tied to our family's policy. Is this easy to do?

Are her laundering skills going to cost her the job?

Received Friday, September 19, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Ok, I was a nanny for about two years for another family but never experienced anything like this. I started working for a very wealthy family in Westchester about a month ago. There are 3 children but my main concern in the smaller child that is three years old. The mother is a stay at home mom but is very involved in her children's activities. The 3 year old is very misbehaved, she is constantly biting, scratching and hitting me, her two other sisters and her mother as well. When the mother sees this behavior she doesnt really correct it. She will throw food across the food when I am feeding her, throws sippy cups at me andhas the most OUTRAGEOUS temper tantrums I have seen. I have noticed this behavior occurs when the mother is around or she knows she is in the house. When I first started the mother told me, that I was great and a huge value to their home.

Last week, she said to me "it's not a big deal but you put the wrong sheets on the girls bed", there is such a slight difference that it's ridiculous. Then she corrected me for putting the folded clothes on the dining room table because it has furiniture polish on it. She also was a little rude in telling me she doesn't want me taking the clean clothes out of the dryer and laying them on top of the dryer because there could be chemicals on the dryer from the detergent. She is constantly nit picking, that it is insane. I really do think she is a little crazy. Last week she sat me down and said I want this to work but I need you to be more focused and really know that you're trying to pitch in. I am constantly cleaning up affter the kids, straightening up, organizing their closets etc but nothing is good enough. After our convo things were ok, so I thought. This past Monday , the little girl was in her moms office and pounding the keyboard, when I looked at her computer screen I noticed she had emails that read "in Re to nanny postion". It is obvious that she is looking for someone else. Should I just quit or confront her on this? I really get anxiety when I walk into that house because I know how she is and it's drives me nuts.

18 September, 2008

Thursday, September 18, 2008.

"Zanny The Nanny" May Have Been Named After Drug (Video)
Casey Anthony might have made up the name of Caylee's so-called nanny, Zenaida Gonzalez, from former classmates' names and the street name for a drug.
Casey Anthony said she used to call Zenaida Gonzalez "Zanny," which Eyewitness News found out is also the street name for the anti-anxiety drug Xanax. Eyewitness News has also learned that investigators have asked at least one of her friends questions about Casey and Xanax during a lie detector test.
Protestors Hurl Rocks, Insults At Anthony House
The night started with a handful of protestors throwing rocks and debris and shouting taunts at the Anthonys' Hopespring Drive home just before 2 a.m.
After the Anthony's gave deputies a statement, one of the protestors walked up to the Anthonys' garage door and started pounding on it. George opened the door and he and Cindy came out with a bat in hand.
George Anthony Scuffles With Protestors Again (Video)
When George walked down his driveway to confront the protestors one of them grabbed him by his t-shirt and tried to pull him on the sidewalk. When he broke free he grabbed his hose to fend off the chanting crowd. The protestors weren't deterred by being doused by the water. They continued to shout and yell.
911 Calls: Cindy and Casey Anthony Call The Police (Audio)
Two 911 calls, one from Casey and one from Cindy, about violent protestors early September 18.
Raw Interview: Protestors Involved In Scuffle Talk About Why Their Out At Anthony Home (Video)

"People are telling me these families are taking advantage of me" ....

Received Thursday, September 18, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
Hello. I love this website so much. I have it on my favorites and check it out at least twice a day. Being a nanny can be lonely at times, especially when I don't know any other nannies to relate to. It's good to know I am not alone in this!

I have a question I hope you can help me with. I live in San Diego CA and I baby-sit for a few families, about 8-12 hours weekly. I really need the jobs, so I post ads on craigslist and only ask $8/hr for one child, $10/two. Sometimes I have to drive about 30-35 miles round trip to the homes. I am 39, have 3 teen-age children I have raised very well, I do not bring along any of my own children to work and I have my Associate Degree. I am currently in school at night to finish up my Gen. Ed. to transfer to a University someday. I always make sure the child's toys are picked up and any dishes used are washed as well. I do not smoke and I take very good care of the child.

My problem is my friends and family are angry that I am charging only $8/hour w/my education, age and experience. I do not have CPR/First Aid nor do I have fingerprints on record anywhere, however I would like to obtain both in the future. I also am open to any background checks as well. The reason I charge $8/hour is because in my area I see on Craigslist the other nannies/sitters are asking between $10-20 hour. Hardly any advertise for less than $10/hr unless they provide the care in their own homes (SAHM'S). I am a single mother and a student and really need the money so I feel if I charge a bit less, then maybe I will have a better chance to find a job. I always secretly hope though, that the parents will toss in an extra dollar or two an hour once they see how good I am. People are telling me these families are taking advantage of me by paying me so little, but I am the one who advertises $8. They tell me that even if I do, no family should be paying me that regardless of what I agree to. They compare it to a depressed man who is in the street throwing away all his savings....yes, he is making the offer by throwing his money in the street, but are the folks who take it taking advantage of a vulnerable and disadvantaged person?

Occasionally when I speak to other nannies at the park and playgrounds, they practically laugh in my face when I say I make $8/hr. They say I should at least make $10-12hr...if I am driving to the home and providing individualized care since my own kids do not come along. What do you all think?? I would love your input. I will seriously consider ALL opinions and responses.

Ah Ha Learning Center Class

Received Thursday, September 18, 2008
nanny sighting logo I assured everyone around me that I would report this nanny and everyone was so relieved and grateful. This nanny takes her charge to Ahha learning center class on Wednesday (9/17) morning. She wears a sparkly cap. The charge is a little boy with brown hair. He is probably between one and 18 months old. I know their names but don't know if it's appropriate to use them. Her name starts with a "C". How about that?

We noticed something was wrong when the little boy would not share and no one was around to help him. The nanny was sitting in a chair with her back to the boy while he used the open play area. This was around 9:15 a.m. After we helped him she reluctantly wandered over. Then during the class the teacher repeatedly had to ask her to join the group. The first time was after she hung back in a corner on her cell phone and the little boy, ("D" I will call him) ran into my daughter. During the play class the nanny was awful to the child. The point of the room is to let them explore. She insisted he not touch the beads, saying, "Get away from those. They are for girls." Clearly she is mean, uneducated and has no credentials for interacting with children. She forced the boy to participate by grabbing his arm. The teachers had said it was not important that the children join the group, they should just enjoy the time. The woman said no, the boy should learn to stop playing. Her phone rang during the circle song and she left the group to go talk on it. She was on the phone for much of the class, even though the caregivers were instructed "to be play partners for the children". The little boy was discouraged so he lay down on the floor and sucked his thumb. She kept trying to get him up. It was painful to watch. After all that, she set him in the stroller for more than 20 minutes (we timed it because by now we saw how neglectful she was). She was right next to the play area, so that the boy could have played with the children while she talked to her friends, but he was just stuck in that stroller. No interaction at all except to give him a drink.

I am spending my only free time today (while my baby naps) to write this. I am so sad for this boy, his parents, and our society. What will happen to these children as they grow up having their feelings stepped on. Please, please fire this nanny on the spot!!!!!
--p.s. I am an early childhood educator and a C.S.W.

Outdoor seating area on 88th and Third in NYC

Received Thursday, September 18, 2008
nanny sighting logo This occurred Wednesday, 9/17, in New York City at a little outdoor seating area on 88th between second and third, around 3:30-4. The nanny was african american or spanish, wearing brown pants, a brown top and black flip flops. The child was a little girl, who looked to be between six months and a year old, sitting in her stroller. She had blonde hair and big blue eyes, and was wearing some sort of pink ensemble with white socks (one was off).

I was sitting in the area reading a book when the nanny and her charge came and sat down. I was sitting in the park with them for about twenty minutes. The nanny was on her phone the entire time, she didn't interact with the child once. The little girl seemed really bored. I smiled at her and made faces at her from across the park, and she was really sweet and smily with me. When i would return to my book she would let out a little squeal until i looked at her and then would resume making faces and smiling at me. I felt awful for her because she was so clearly bored to just be sitting in her stroller. She would occasionally look at her nanny for attention, but the woman barely acknowledged her.

If this is your child, please find a new nanny! Ill do it, your kid is a sweetie. we smile bonded.

17 September, 2008

East Lynn Park @ Woodbine/Danforth - Canada

Received Wednesday, September 17, 2008.
nanny sighting logo Tall, thin, blonde, female daycare provider - probably late '40s - frequents the park with a few young children in her care (toddler & pre-school) - SMOKING. Asked twice by a mom to put out her cigarette and ignored her. When she was finished smoking she yelled at the mother and threatened to hit her. All of this was in the middle of the playground where the kids were playing. Last summer I often saw this woman with another tall blonde woman (sister?) on the Danforth (Woodbine area) with kids in tow and cigarettes in their hands. One would push the stroller with a smoke and the other would have a child in one hand and a smoke in the other.
For sure they are daycare providers - they were not with their children. If only I had known this site existed I would have paid better attention to the details - but if you live in the Danforth/Woodbine area and your daycare provider is tall, thin & blonde, you might want to ask if she smokes around your child.
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
East Lynn Park @ Woodbine/Danforth
Monday, September 15, 2008

Union Street in front of Shinnecock Condos - NY

Received Wednesday, September 17, 2008.
nanny sighting logo Date: yesterday Place: on Union Street in front of Shinnecock Condos.
Nannylack, 180-225 lbs, 5'5-5"8, no tattooes, dark hair in a pony tail pulled tight under a khaki colored NY mets cap, Corbi opr Corgi stroller that is brown with blue polka dots. The baby was about 9-11 months, blonde hair, boy. There was an older sibling, also a boy, with brown hair in a military style haircut wearing a brown t-shirt with a silkscreen of a giraffe on it and jeans.

The nanny was abusive and angry. I heard her says shit fucker twice. The little boy was right next to the stroller watching in horror as the nanny mashed the littlest boys legs in the leg holes. The big brother said "your hurting him", the nanny said "I'm not hurting him, his legs are too fat". Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, but whatever. The point is this nanny was mean. She has a meanness to her and I felt sorry for both of her children. The reason I didn't interfere or say anything is because the nanny looked so angry and hard. If she could treat a tiny tot the way she did, God knows what she would do to a fellow nanny

Rye Recreation Park in Rye, NY

Received Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nanny I saw an awesome nanny today, (Tues. 9/16) and I wanted to tell you all about her. She was taking care of 2 or possibly 3 girls. The third girl may have belonged to another mother or nanny. She was smiling and involved with the girls. She made them laugh, she chased them through the park. She took them on an adventure walk. I don't know what that was but I heard them ask, "now, can we do our adventure walk" and the nanny took them off in a different direction and then returned about 20 minutes later skipping with the girls. When I left the nanny was playing catch with the girls but a game of catch where you had to continue counting or continue the ABC's when you caught the ball. One person would say a-b-c-d-e-f and throw the ball and the next person had to say g-h-i and keep going until she caught the ball. I applaud her spirit. She was fun but still about teaching the children. What I noticed with this nanny and what I notice most of the time with attentive parents or nannies is that the children are always well behaved and polite. The nanny was African American, without an accent. She was average weight and height with dark hair on the bottom and lighter curled hair on top. She looked to be about 30 years old and was wearing a button up floral shirt and brown pants and white Keds. The girls were all white. The two that I am sure were hers both had dark, dark hair and light skin and blue or green eyes. These two were twins or very close in age, between 3-4. The littlest one had on grey and yellow sweat pants and tennis shoes with a grey sweatshirt and the one that looked older had on blue jeans with pink patches and a white and red shirt. The little girl that could have been with them had reddish hair, freckles and her hair was cut very straight and blunt. She was wearing a green dress with pockets and black pants or leggings underneath and Nike tennis shoes. They did not drive, but walked to the park so they must live within walking distance. If this is your nanny, you are so fortunate. Treasure her!

In over my head?

Received Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
This is the first time I've posted here, I'm hoping to get some advice on my current situation. I do not have previous experience as a nanny, but I do have experience in daycare and summer camp child care, which I enjoyed very much! After leaving that job because of distance, I was working a retail job which I began to hate, and I realized I really wanted to get back into child care. So when an opportunity to babysit/nanny a former co-worker's 1st grader fell into my lap, I jumped for it! Perhaps a bit too high. I was far too eager to get out of something I hated, and into something I thought I would enjoy. So we didn't write up a contract, do any trial runs, or even have a formal meeting set up, as I already knew both parents through work. I definitely know now that this was an awful idea, and bad judgement on my part! I started within the next two weeks, as the child was arriving soon, which is why they needed childcare so quickly. Mom was going out of the country for an unknown amount of time and was leaving the child to live with dad and stepmom. Another red flag that I did not take notice of! I definitely wish I would have done much more research and found this page before I decided to lend such a generous hand to this family without thinking things through. I have been working for them for almost two months and it is getting harder and harder on me. The child has some issues, which were obvious to me within the first week. Still wetting her pants throughout the day, very emotionally attached and panics easily when an adult is not within a few feet, and I was surprised to hear that she was still using a car seat at her age and weight. These things worried me, and I am assuming they are a result of her unstable environment. The child seemed to be very "young" for her age, and of course all kids grow differently, but just from speaking with her, you can tell how very intelligent and bright she really is. This is why this behavior struck me as odd. When I am with her I encourage her to do things for herself as much as possible, because from what I am seeing, I get the feeling that probably all three of the parents do an awful lot for her, and don't encourage her to do things on her own. I don't have an education in early childhood education (YET!) so I'm going with my gut, but I don't think this child has a lot of self-esteem and faith that she CAN do things for herself. She needs reassurance for tasks that we both know she can do, and on a moment to moment basis. this worries me. Since I have been there she has gotten the hang of a two wheeler, is wetting her pants less, and the immediate "I can't do it, do it for me's" have turned into, "I may need some help's" instead. I hope I am doing the right thing for the child in this case. But I know that this is not a situation that I want to stay in. It is almost as if everything is a wrong fit. The child, the short notice scheduling, the late payments. The child does enjoy being around me, but I am not enjoying it and I can tell my happy face is wearing thin. Stepmom and Dad are kind and friendly to me, pay decently, and really like me, which makes it harder to just leave. Again, my fault, I know I have gotten myself into this. I now know what I need to do BEFORE a situation like this can occur. Now my concern is getting out. We do not have a contract written or spoken, as they aren't even sure when mom is coming back, so I have decided I should give a month's notice, which would hopefully be enough time to get me out and someone else in. I feel guilty that it didn't work out, but I have to do what's best for me fist and foremost. Here is my problem, I am not sure how to give my notice. Stepmom is very outgoing and it is usually hard for me to get a word in, as I am a fairly shy and quiet person to begin with. They are just so happy to have me, that I don't know how to say it's not working out for me, and that I am wishing to do a different style of childcare (I have realized through this that I love doing daycare, where there are many more children to interact with, but more structure. I hope to start my own one day!) Has anyone gotten sucked into a situation like this where initially you were looking to be helpful, but in the end it was not what you expected and you felt like you were in over your head? Any advice on how I can get my backbone to stand up straight and leave this situation on good terms? BTW, kudos to all of you good nannies out there. It is a much tougher job that anyone could imagine, and it takes a special kind of person. Thanks for your advice and thanks for reading.