Received Saturday, September 2o, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I have a sticky situation I would like some help with. I work for a nice family. I am not completely happy but in these tough times I am sticking to it. The problem is the family's friends. There are two moms who are friendly with the mother I work with. They are both SAHM who employ Au Pairs and they are not at all happy with their current situations which they voice to me nearly on a daily basis.
The problem is they both keep asking me to come work for them. At first I thought they were not serious but now it's happened so many times I am beginning to think they are! How can they be trying to poach a friend's nanny???!!! I have now taken to avoiding them at the playground as this is making me very uncomfortable. I don't want to make any waves. I keep laughing it off and saying no like it's a joke but they are becoming more aggressive in their approach, even asking how much I make there and what my responsibilities are etc. How do I say firmly yet nicely that I want them to stop asking and that I am not going to change jobs?
12 comments:
I think you should grow a backbone and tell them you feel uncomfortable being constantly asked. You could also tell them how content you are in your current position and give them options about where to find other caregivers. Tell them you'll put the word out. Shift the focus. You aren't available. Period.
I don't understand the problem with these moms trying to swipe other people's nannies. And their FRIENDS no less. Shameful.
I would just be very straight-forward about it. "Actually, I'm really happy in the position I have now. I'm not looking for new employment for any reason, including salary." Period; end of discussion. Hope things work out for you!
If they don't stop, I'd say something to your boss about it.
Tell them loyalty is such an important quality to you as a person that you couldn't possibly consider doing that to you employer...for any reason. How could they dare approach you again after that?
But don't be rude. If for any reason your employer terminates you (like the nanny below who works for the laundry psycho) you will have two potential jobs waiting for you. (Although you will know up front that you would be working for peope who don't value loyalty all that much. And you know what they say, "What she'll do to somebody else, she'll eventually do to you."
You could tell them that IF you were to be looking for a new job it would NOT be with a family that the kids you work with now know and play with because you think that it would be difficult for them to have to see you constantly with other children.
I think Emily has a really good idea! That's what I would do.
It is a tough economy - keep the bridges open by making yourself look even more awesome to them, by explaining that while you are so, so flattered by their asking, and love love LOVE their kids - indeed, their family would be ideal to work for - your strong ethics as a professional Nanny preclude you from allowing yourself to be poached from a current position.
But, you tell them, reiterating your awesomeness, that they seem like such a perfect family to work for, and if your situation changes, you would like to know that you could contact them to see if they were in need of help.
Showing yourself as un-poachable makes them want you more, and telling them you will go to them when you need to move puts you in the power position. I mean, hopefully it doesn't happen, but lets face it, in downturn economies, Nannies are in precarious positions, and it is good to have your fallback plan in place.
As you said...firmly and nicely, just say "I am not interested in changing jobs and I would appreciate if you would kindly stop approaching me with your job offers."
Also tell your boss, her friends may not be her friends after all if they are trying to steal her nanny.
Feels nice to be wanted I'm sure. But just let these moms know that you are very happy right now and wish to stay put. And Emily is right. That would feel so weird taking care of the children that your previous charges played with. Not to mention the hard feelings it would cause your employer! Her friends sure have some nerve!
I agree with all the posts - just say you're not interested but in a firm way (without being rude) rather than just laughing it off. I don't think you need to mention it to you boss unless they continue to pester you about it after you've firmly told them you're not interested.
I don't buy this for a second. More likely, some misguided nanny is attempting to drive up her stock.
Post a Comment