Received Saturday, September 20, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I posted last week in which the title was 'the punching bag', now things are bordering on crazy. I did leave my position on Saturday, two days before my two week notice. The family was rude and mean my last days. The mother on more than one account verbally attacked me. She called me a fraud. The oldest child (the puncher)told her the day I left a lot of things, she accused me of "ignoring him, the sarcastic comments, making fun of him, playing an talking on your phone while the children are awake, the favoritism, and the neglect". I have NEVER neglected those children nor the other outlanding accusations she made. He was underweight until I got there, after my first month and a half I had him in the normal weight range. NEVER did I make fun of him. NEVER did I do any of the other things. The time I spent on the phone (my own personal phone) was spent talking to her, because she was never home and called 24/7 to check up on her oldest son, never her youngest. She wrote me a note which said; "You claimed you were kinder and more affectionable. We feel so betrayed that you were not."..."The damage you have done here to our children is unimaginable." I had never heard any negative comments about me until after I gave my notice, the time before when I told her I thought we needed to separate she talked me out of it. Am I out of my mind or does this women seem off balance? She told me that "upon review of your references it appears you have left on bad terms and on short notice with most of your families". This is false, never did I leave with short notice, only her family. I gave two weeks on my first nanny job, and a month on my au pair job. Of course I have had jobs that did not work out, specifically my first nanny job where the child was hitting me, (she promised her child would not hit when I told her of this account), and made this clear in my initial emails where I stated that unfortunately I have had nanny jobs that ended on bad terms. I however am still close with several families that I've worked for. She told me the day I left (while she was slinging my employment contract in my face) that she was going to call all the families on the list and seek legal action against me if I stole from her or left the house a mess. Is it my fault she never bothered to check my references before I came? Today I received an email from a family in Germany I worked for, while it was vague she said a lady called wanting a reference. I have not given there phone number to anyone but the family I just left. Should I be worried that she is contacting my past employers wanting information on me? Do I need to be fearful that she will take legal action against me for "fraud and misrepresentation"? She is a lawyer and she did threaten me before I left. I just want this whole thing to be over. Is there any way to get her to just leave me alone? I need any advice to make this horrid situation just go away.
19 comments:
She is harassing you now. She has no right to contact ANY of your references after you're done working for her. Maybe consider taking a restraining order out on her?
For someone who is a lawyer, she's breaking an awful lot of laws. I hate to say it, but you might want to look into getting lawyer yourself. I have a feeling she's not going to go away easily. :(
I agree with "seriously?". Go directly to your Magistrate and tell them your situation! Hopefully they will agree to let you take out a restraining order on this lunatic ex-employer. You need documentation to protect you in case she decides to take this a step further. She would be a complete idiot if she did, as she has no grounds whatsoever to do this, but it sounds like she might be unstable anyway. Good luck. Let us know what happens!
Call all your ex references and notify them to that them.
Start documenting NOW..Every detail of every conversation, record your voicemails, save your emails...Write it down....You need to hire a lawyer. Be ready this may be a battle...
I agree that you should call all of your references and tell them what is going on and ask them not to speak to her or when she calls to tell her that they have nothing to say.
start documenting and go to the courthouse file a restraining order to stop her from harrassing you. and document everything, dates, every conversation etc.
Some people get very angry when a nanny leaves. This lady sounds a bit crazy. Prozac anyone?
I would contact my former employers and explain the situation. It would be great if, when she calls, they rave on and on about what a wonderful nanny you were, and what a loving relationship you had with THEIR children!
I would also send her an e-mail saying is she slanders you, you will take legal action.
Just beat the hell out of that B---
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. This woman sounds like a nightmare.
I'd write my own nasty little note to her and claim that she has some fraud issues of her own. She's certainly not the same woman you initially worked for.
Call your old employees and tell them that you just left a family because of difficulties, etc. and for them not to return the calls to this woman.
Good luck!
Tell her in no uncertain terms that if you find she has been libeling or slandering you, you WILL take legal action against her. She is trying to bully you out of doing anything, planting the fear that since she is a lawyer, only SHE can win such a case, but my last employer who basically screwed me out of my job always bragged that "he knew this because his wife was an attorney" and he ended up having to pay ME in a settlement.
Never, ever work for a Lawyer. They think they are God, and if things go sour, they can threaten you and make your life miserable.
I would call or email the ex employer and then get a copy of the email made and get a restraining order. It will not look good for any officer of the court to be pulling this kind of nonsense. You need to have an attorney write a letter and let her know if you hear any thing more about her trying to malign your character you will sue.
There are many attorneys that get very full of theselves ..time to empty this ones cage. good luck
This woman does sound crazy! I agree that you should contact your references and let them know that this insane woman might be calling.
girl! don't sweat it. tell her to f**k herself, and wish her well. hehe
Yes, lawyers are a pain in the ass. They are never happy. They want you to raise their kids. And not give you anything in return. I worked for two lawyers. They didn't want to pay my taxes. They said lets keep everything under the radar.
I ended up having to pay, because its dishonest not too. But when the IRS asked who I worked for, I gave them their full address and phone numbers. They made my life miserable while working for them for 7 months. So the way to get them back was to report them. Not sure if the government did anything but who knows.
Sell her secrets.
I have a friend who sold her boss's emails between her and her boss on ebay for 1125.00
yes siree.
I hope this witch realizes that since she is a lawyer, her son is the one who physically assaulted you in HER home while on the job. How would she have liked it if you hit him instead?
There's NO fraud involved with leaving a job early. Since you are the one tha tquit, it is clear she was happy with you. Therefore, she can't claim fraud. She should have fired you if you did anything wrong.
I hope you can get some good legal advice from a friend, but I don't think you would need a lawyer.
She is a witch and her kids are monsters to treat you this way. Her whole scummy family should be ashamed, but I am afraid they will all be sucked into a cycle of deep problems.
There is a family out there that will love you and take care of you as their own! Be sure to go through a good agency next time! Be sure to lay down your ground rules that you WILL not tolerate any abuse from the kids. It's incredibly shocking a nanny would actually have to spell these things out sometimes!
OP,
Did you hate this post being titled the punching bag? Or did you title it that yourself?
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