I am a nanny for a family in Maryland. Everything was going good for the longest time, the parents were telling me what a good job I was doing and I went above my contract to make the family happy. I did give a notice after the third time the eldest child punched me. The family knew going in that I would not stay if I was abused by the children. I was planning on staying until they could find a replacement, because I felt bad leaving. However after a week after I gave notice the mother was calling (she doesn't live with us during the week) to put me down. She told me I couldn't do my job right (even though I still have contact with families I've worked in the past who like me) and that I made her children bad. Her eldest son was being suspended from school since pre-k and has had problems long before I came. I know I am in part to blame because they had not had a nanny before I arrived, but I do not feel that all the blame should be placed on me. When I came here the mother left and is only home on the weekends, the dad just came back from four years of school abroad and is now gone all day and some nights when he is on call. They moved to a new area two days before I arrived. I understand this is a lot of change on the children, but the mom seems to think it is all my doing. After her constant calls on Wednesday and being told by the elder child he was going to punch me again if I talked to his mom I told her I was going to leave on Saturday, because I am afraid for my safety and I don't want to be verbally abused. She agreed, told me that she didn't want me anyway and that she just didn't want to push me out. Yesterday I went to her, trying to make nice and told her that I returned the children's library books, paid for therapy, and to ask her where my check was. She was cold and standoffish, she told me she wanted me to pay her two months severance pay because I am leaving two days before the end of my two weeks notice. I just stared at her. I've only been here three months. She then went on to put me down some more and make me feel bad. I do feel bad that I didn't give her enough time to find a replacement, but she drove me from this house. I know this is a one sided opinion but I am trying to take both sides into account, but I fill that I had to leave for my safety and well being. Was I wrong leaving?
Saturday
The Punching Bag
Received Saturday, September 13, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I am a nanny for a family in Maryland. Everything was going good for the longest time, the parents were telling me what a good job I was doing and I went above my contract to make the family happy. I did give a notice after the third time the eldest child punched me. The family knew going in that I would not stay if I was abused by the children. I was planning on staying until they could find a replacement, because I felt bad leaving. However after a week after I gave notice the mother was calling (she doesn't live with us during the week) to put me down. She told me I couldn't do my job right (even though I still have contact with families I've worked in the past who like me) and that I made her children bad. Her eldest son was being suspended from school since pre-k and has had problems long before I came. I know I am in part to blame because they had not had a nanny before I arrived, but I do not feel that all the blame should be placed on me. When I came here the mother left and is only home on the weekends, the dad just came back from four years of school abroad and is now gone all day and some nights when he is on call. They moved to a new area two days before I arrived. I understand this is a lot of change on the children, but the mom seems to think it is all my doing. After her constant calls on Wednesday and being told by the elder child he was going to punch me again if I talked to his mom I told her I was going to leave on Saturday, because I am afraid for my safety and I don't want to be verbally abused. She agreed, told me that she didn't want me anyway and that she just didn't want to push me out. Yesterday I went to her, trying to make nice and told her that I returned the children's library books, paid for therapy, and to ask her where my check was. She was cold and standoffish, she told me she wanted me to pay her two months severance pay because I am leaving two days before the end of my two weeks notice. I just stared at her. I've only been here three months. She then went on to put me down some more and make me feel bad. I do feel bad that I didn't give her enough time to find a replacement, but she drove me from this house. I know this is a one sided opinion but I am trying to take both sides into account, but I fill that I had to leave for my safety and well being. Was I wrong leaving?
I am a nanny for a family in Maryland. Everything was going good for the longest time, the parents were telling me what a good job I was doing and I went above my contract to make the family happy. I did give a notice after the third time the eldest child punched me. The family knew going in that I would not stay if I was abused by the children. I was planning on staying until they could find a replacement, because I felt bad leaving. However after a week after I gave notice the mother was calling (she doesn't live with us during the week) to put me down. She told me I couldn't do my job right (even though I still have contact with families I've worked in the past who like me) and that I made her children bad. Her eldest son was being suspended from school since pre-k and has had problems long before I came. I know I am in part to blame because they had not had a nanny before I arrived, but I do not feel that all the blame should be placed on me. When I came here the mother left and is only home on the weekends, the dad just came back from four years of school abroad and is now gone all day and some nights when he is on call. They moved to a new area two days before I arrived. I understand this is a lot of change on the children, but the mom seems to think it is all my doing. After her constant calls on Wednesday and being told by the elder child he was going to punch me again if I talked to his mom I told her I was going to leave on Saturday, because I am afraid for my safety and I don't want to be verbally abused. She agreed, told me that she didn't want me anyway and that she just didn't want to push me out. Yesterday I went to her, trying to make nice and told her that I returned the children's library books, paid for therapy, and to ask her where my check was. She was cold and standoffish, she told me she wanted me to pay her two months severance pay because I am leaving two days before the end of my two weeks notice. I just stared at her. I've only been here three months. She then went on to put me down some more and make me feel bad. I do feel bad that I didn't give her enough time to find a replacement, but she drove me from this house. I know this is a one sided opinion but I am trying to take both sides into account, but I fill that I had to leave for my safety and well being. Was I wrong leaving?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
21 comments:
Oh how I hate it when parents don't take responsibility for their own children's behavioral issues!
You are NOT wrong for leaving. You are being abused by the child and the parent. You have every right to look after your own safety.
OP,
let me get this straight: she wanted YOU to pay HER severence pay?
I don't get that part.
secondly, she sounds like a psycho. leave and don't look back. Certainly you don't owe her anything, and if they don't pay you fight for your money and tell you you are seeking legal services until they pay you.
OP, this is insane! You shouldn't pay her one thin dime! If anything, this bitch owes you some hazard pay!
Just like umassslytherin said, leave and DON'T LOOK BACK. You are better off just Xing them from your life right now!
I'm so sorry you went through all of this, but NONE of it is your fault, and I don't know what this mom did to make you believe that, much less this mean ass kid. She sounds really nasty, and I don't know how you put up with her for 3 months.
Get on with your life, and find another job where the family DESERVES you!!
BTW, what therapy did you pay for? The kid? I certainly hope NOT with your money!!
I agree with everyone who says she should NOT be paid....These children are clearly dealing with some anger issues that noone wants to take repsonsibility for....The eldest child may resent you because he is crying for his MOTHER, not his nanny...His father totally shouldn't have even come back if he is never home, does he even acknowledge his children and spend time with them? The child knows that you cant hit him back so hes going to take every opportunity to unleash his anger on the one constant person, which just happens to be you. Don't pay this woman a dime....everyone in that house needs to take responsibilty for their own actions...good luck and GET OUT!
What kind of household were you working in? The mother stays somewhere slse all week, the husband is gone most of the time?
What are these people doing to these kids? This is why that kid is acting out with violence. Poor kid is taking his anger out on you and I bet that he has done this to other nannies.
If this fruitcake doesn't pay you every red cent I would sue her and also tell her you could press charges for this kid hitting you.
Let her chew on that one for a while. I wonder if these kids need to be removed from that home if you call it a home.
NO. Take YOUR money and run. If she bugs you saying you owe HER "severance pay", let her take you to small claims court for it.
Abuse negates your contract - you don't have to give them any notice at all. If you have any bruises or anything from the child hitting you, take pictures and write down the circumstances, just in case you have to defend yourself. If she tries to withhold your money, let her know that abuse legally voids your contract and that if she doesn't pay you, you will take her to court over the money AND the physical harm you sustained doing your job.
You are totally, and without qualification, in the right here.
Yes, OP, please explain how the mother doesn't live with you during the week... is it just you and the kids?
OP,
oh my gosh it's sad how good, sweet people who really care about families and kids can get taken advantage of.
does the mother understand that you actually got hit? if it was the other way around, she would have called the police on YOU, right?
so, does she realize that you could have called the police on the kid and had his little a$$ thrown in juvinile hall where HE could get the crap kicked out of him by some other kid and see how if feels? gosh, this makes me so angry!
scummy people like this should just NOT have nannies.
i Do not even understand this! How on earth does the mom live somewhere else all week and then just calls in? What kind of mother is that? especially since the dad works all the time and was abroad for 4 years? It makes no sense why you owe her 2 months severance, just make sure you get your money and get out of there. This family has a lot of problems and you cannot solve them. These parents shouldn't even have children.
You are not wrong for quitting but you know that already. Staying for three months may have been the wrong thing to do but since you did finally quit, it's a moot point.
Take her to small claims for the money she owes you. Let her try that silly argument on the judge.
Sounds like she needs to either stop having children or give them up for adoption. She obviously has no interest in their well being and obviously since she has a nanny, doesn't want to raise them.
9:04 PM
RE-POST
Just leave, don't pay her a dime. The woman has a problem. I'm going to be nosy here, but why doesn't she live with her kids during the week?
The kids are messed up from the parents, you didn't do anything wrong.
That's crazy- leave and if they don't pay you- sue.
Huh? For real?
OP, you don't honestly think you're wrong for leaving, do you? The whole situation you described is absurd and needless to say, insane. Stand up for yourself.
Is there any doubt about this one?? If ever there was a clear cut reason to give an employer the cat's bum...
THANKS GUYS!
I realize now how crazy I was to stay in that situation, and too let it get so bad.
The mother doesn't live in the house because she works out of town, about 1 1/2 away. Even when I offered to take the children to visit her she did not want us there. She told me she wanted to get pregnant because I was doing a good time with her children, but she would only stay home three weeks with it! Seriously who has a baby just to spend three weeks with it then dump it off on someone else?
When I left she layed into me about how bad I was, saying that she was going to take me to court for misrepresenting myself and fraud. She postdated my paycheck and said that if I did not clean my room before I left or stole anything she'd cancel them. She legally can't do that!
Boy am I glad to be gone!
No, you are not wrong for leaving. This family sound awful. Definitely don't give her any money and try not to feel bad or guilty. You do not deserve to be treated that way.
FYI- It is illegal to postdate a paycheck. Deposit it now, before she puts a stop-payment on it. Better yet- cash it.
You were totally right in leaving- nobody should keep themselves in an abusive situation. She sounds like a total nutjob. Anyways... cash your check asap and if she starts harassing you, file a police report against her. She sounds completely crazy.
Oh, man.
Let me just say-- the kid's problems have NOTHING-- N-O-T-H-I-N-G-- to do with ANYTHING you did. Mom barely being home is enough to send some kids over the edge. Again, NONE of this blame is yours.
Secondly, the family clearly doesn't value you. There are lots of working parents out there. Find a new family, and best of luck.
Post a Comment