Received Saturday, September 13, 2008 - Rant
A legal German Au pair ends up having her gall bladder removed while with her host family. The parents, both cardiologists at the same hospital, call her doctor to tell him that they need her to go back to work immediately and not to give her recovery leave. Yes, you heard right, immediately. The girl is still recovering in her hospital bed and they want her to go back to work. The german au pair is so upset, she quits her job at this ridiculous demand. Good for her.
Let me ask you this parents. Do you really think it's appropriate to treat your au pair like that? She's foreign, young, scared and in pain. Would you treat your husband, wife or mother so insensitively? Shame on you. Could you not make alternative arrangements like ask the grandparents or other family to come for a few days or a week? Unbelievable.
23 comments:
So I read the first few sentences of this (up to where it says the parents are both cardiologists) and totally thought it was going to say that it was the one where the person is drugged and wakes up in the ice with a missing organ. And totally thought it was going to be the host parents/ cardiologists that performed the operation! Good thing I kept reading!
Anyway, this is sickening. What sort of awful complications could she have had after returning to work so quickly? It may not seem like it, but gall bladder surgery is pretty major. And God forbid she have been alone with the children... this gives me the chills it's so scary. Good for her to have left. She deserves WAY better than these awful people.
this is sick. how could people treat someone with no compassion and expect that person to care about their children? if you can't care about your nanny the same way you care about your children, don't have a nanny OR children. you are not human.
Welcome to the au pairs real life :(
My mom had her gallbladder removed, and what I remember of it (I was about 7 or 8) is waking up in the middle of the night to find my mom on the floor of the bathroom in pain.
Beyond the fact that it is inhumane to expect someone to return to work (and cardiologists! They know better!) as a parent, how can you want you children in the care of someone who needs to be laying down or in the bathroom?
Poor, poor girl.
um, children or not, how can you want someone to be lying down or in the bathroom when they should be getting care in the hospital!
poor, poor girl and i feel for the kids if they ever get sick. i can expect those parents to send them to school in any condition, no matter what.
30 years ago my mother had her gallbladder removed. It was major, abdominal surgery then and she was in hospital for 14 days.
5 years ago I had my gallbladder removed. I am a diabetic.
I was in the hospital at 6AM (No idea why I had to go so early) My surgery was scheduled for 11:15AM.
10:30 They wheeled me in to Pre-op, went over the procedure, got the happy juice wheel me into O.R.
11AM In the O.R prep work, meet the docs. Sweet Dreams.
12PM I'm coherant and going to my room in Post OP
1PM wondering what I need ot de to be sent home. Told I have to eat and pee for the nurse so I do.
Was home in time to watch my 2PM soap (Passions) at the time.
I was cleared to return to work th next day.
I have a small scar near my bellybutton and two even smaller scared since GB surgery is now out patient and done with a long skinny tube.
I suffered some mild discomfort (in my back of all places) handled with Advil
My point, unless she had complications, She probalby was OK to return to work in a day or so and being doctors, her employers probably knew that. I was bummed that I couldn't get a little time off fo my effort either but Oh well!
Still pretty heartless that they didn't want to give her a day or so, if nothing else to let the nasty meds work their way out of the system!
Sorry for the typos Above LOOOONG day!
That could be the case ABC. And I believe what you say.
Do you work with children? Are you a nanny? I am thinking you work in an office.
We don't know the ages of the children this particular nanny takes care of. If infants/toddlers I don't think she would be able to lift them after surgery.
Imagine, putting them in carseats, changing diapers, helping at the park. I don't think so.
If you work in an office you boss may be a little more understanding. And let you relax a bit. When you are watching young children you don't have that option.
so i hope the doctor didn't actually release her to go home, right?
oh my gosh, i don't care how quickly you recovered. IT's SURGERY!
where did you here this story, just wondering?
ABC/123
You got lucky! I had mine removed 3 yrs. ago and in the process they nicked my liver (which they said beforehand could be a risk for this surgery).... so I ended up staying in the Hospital for over 2 wks. because of complications and was sent home with a Jackson/Pratt (drainage tube) which came out about a wk. later.
My surgery was full of complications, but after 3 wks. I was fine and I also have 2 barely noticeable scars from it.
(They went through my bellybutton - which... and this is so stupid... but I hated my bellybutton before the surgery, but after it healed, it was so much cuter, lol, so at least something good came out of it!)
I really hope this story is not true!
No this is very true. My husband took over. Comforted her when in tears and told her that he is writing a note for her with mandated time off.
your husband was the doctor? at least somebody had the common sense to do the right thing! good job hubby!
This totally stinks. But OP, do you really think any of us at ISYN owuld do this t somebody? the end of your post sounds kind of like you are scolding us parents, as a group, as if there is "something wrong with us."
Obviously, this story has nothing to with being a parent, nanny, or nanny employer...it is about a pair of sucky human beings and in IMO it reflects not on nanny/employer relations in any way, but instead on reprehensible human beings only.
^^^^
That isn't THE mom, is it? She's been gone for awhile, and there is only ONE mom on this blog.
Same for mimi.
People really should make sure they don't take other posters monikers.
Yes, it's "Me." This is the original, long winded, "Mom." I just got back from Brooklyn...but didn't get time to go to Park Slope...shucks. At the times nannies would have been out, I was busy, and I was told on here that the weekend would not be prime nanny viewing time at the parks.
BTW OP, if you were only admonishing the specific parents in question in this post, please accept my apologies for misreading. I just don't like to see regular moms and dads , or nice nanny employers, lumped in with insensitive louts who have little business even claiming to be human beings.
I hope there is a place to report abusive Au pair families, and that they get reported to it.
How exactly does one "make sure" that they don't use a moniker that's been used before? Scroll back to January of 2006 and read thousands of posts?If you are that sensitive and territorial, try using an original name, that might help. Other than that, enough of the whining, that's not what this site is for.
Hopelikehell...It happens from time to time that somebody comes on here and inadvertently uses a moniker that somebody else uses here on a regular basis.
I realize that "Mom" is quite unoriginal...and I actually feel a little funny taking that "title" here since there are so many mommies on this site. This is the first blogging site I ever visited in my life. At first I just read the main posts. I saw where it said "x number comments" and always just wondered why people would comment on posts. Then one day I got curious and read some of the posts...which made me want to leave some comments...which I did. I just used "anonymous"...and immediately got attacked for not using a moniker. Not planning to get hooked and be here forever and a day, as I now have, I just typed in "mom" and that was it. Ithought of changing it for a while, but I have been "mom" on here for so long now that it would be more confusing than anything to do so...so here I am..."Mom."
But you can bet if I ever blog on another site (I hope not, since this is quite enough diversion from my duties, thank you. Besides, what could be as fun as ISYN!?) I will have a really fancy name that nobody will accidentally ever use.
Gallbladder surgery can go very smoothly for some but not for others. Nicking the liver as happened with MPP certainly makes it for a much worse recovery. That happened to my husband and he had to return to the hospital for an extended stay to get things under control. It was horrible. I cannot understand why some people are so callous and unfeeling. These parents had absolutely no conscience to take such advantage of this young au pair. It's not unusual for wealthy and pompous people to have total disregard about the feelings and welfare of others they deem inferior to them. What a shame.
I have trouble believing this (as a doctor and the employer of a nanny). Of course I'm not denying that many out there treat their nannies or au pairs poorly, but this really does sound made up or exaggerated. "Recovery leave" is not a medical term (or legal term, as far as i know).
This au pair is entitled to Medical leave, and if for some reason her surgeon is complying with her employers' outrageous request, there are a variety of other medical professionals who could confirm that she cannot work.
I call BS on this one.
My niece had her appendix out, not the same thing but still stomach surgery and couldn't pick up her baby. Baby wasn't happy with Grandpa's help lol but when she tried to take care of the baby herself after a week she ended up hurting herself and that's having time off from taking care of the baby. The au pair is in trouble if she doesn't get any time off.
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