Received Friday, September 26, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
My contract ends soon and my employers have told me they'd like me to renew. After my first year I asked for and was denied a raise on the basis that it wasn't in their childcare budget. I'm the kind of person who needs to be recognized monetarily to have a happy working environment and a continued interest in doing my job well. I don't need THIS particular job as much now as I did same time last year, because my husband is working now too.
I feel like I might have a renewed energy for this family if they offered me a good raise and/or some fabulous perks. Basically all I get now is paid, paid on the books, paid on time, paid when they don't need me (their vacation, sometimes when they come home early, and most major holidays), and 3 sick days that evaporate into nothing if I don't use them. I did get a Christmas bonus smaller than a week's pay, but never anything for my birthday.
I don't mean to sound greedy, I just absolutely feel they are doing the least possible to keep me around, even though they SAY they want me to stay. This situation, unlike with my previous families, is just a job to me. I do my best to love the kids and raise them well, and we have tons of fun and learn a lot from each other, but I have absolutely no connection with the parents.
I'm inches from not renewing my contract. I have a few weeks to figure this all out, so any advice you can give I will take to heart. I'm interested in:
1. what kind of perks it might be okay to ask for/what you think I deserve after a full two years of loyal and excellent childcare for two children in NYC
2. out-of-the-ordinary perks like gym membership...what else have you heard of?
and largest:
3. whether I should keep this job? with the craziness of the economy, is it hard to find a good nanny job right now?
4. Should I tell my employers that I may become pregnant in the coming year and work maternity leave into the contract?
My husband and I are planning to start a family in the next year and I'm struggling with the uncertainty - I'll definitely still need to work, at least for a while, when I'm a mother. My current work situation seems like adding a baby to my regular workday would work out fine. I wonder if my baby would be welcome to come with me or if at that point they'd want a new nanny.
Which of these things do you think I should address with them at our inevitable yearly meeting? Thanks so much for your help. I look forward to your responses
35 comments:
OP,
Your concerns are all more than valid. I can only offer my opinion. There are some great posters here who I'm sure will also offer some wonderful opinions.
I feel that first of all you should indeed request a raise. But first things first: ask your employers if they are happy with you and request a sit-down review and have it documented in writing. This is so that if they decide to not give you a raise and you decide you leave, you have in writing that your work performance was good. It is sad but sometimes nanny families turn on you if you quit, and it is good to have all your ducks in a row.
That being said, all the perks you suggested are good ones. I would tell them that you need sick and vacation time put into your contract. Many times though in jobs you do need to use your sick time or you lose it. So don't be shy about using it if you are given it.
As far as asking for maternity leave, that is up to you. I can tell you that my one and only nanny job was for a couple who began to treat me horribly after I got pregnant. They basically tried to run me off the job. I hope your family is not like that. But if they couldn't even give you a small pay increase after a year of good service, I don't have high expectations of them. I hope I'm wrong.
Above all, value yourself and your own needs and those of your family. Do not feel like this job is it for you: if they do not meet your needs (which are more than valid, you are in no way asking for too much) then do not doubt you will find an even better job. Yes, the economy stinks right now, but we will always need childcare. Someone will snap you up.
Good luck and please update us with your employers's response!
My first and foremost advice is no matter is too small to bring up and address in a contract. You should address anything and everything that you have concerns or questions about with the parents.
I would most definitely ask for a raise. If you don't get one, you are essentially taking a pay cut. When the cost of living goes up and pay does not, I consider that a pay cut.
As for other perks, like gym membership... eh, I'm so/so on that. Maybe you could ask for a raise substantial enough to cover those expenses yourself. It's just my opinion that perks like that should usually only be given for live-ins. Not that you don't deserve it! You do, I just don't think it's the family's responsibility to take care of maintaining the membership, paying monthly for it, etc.
As for trying to conceive, that would be the first thing I'd mention. Obviously you cannot know when it will happen but I don't think they should have any right to have a problem with hiring someone else for a while while you're on maternity leave, especially since you (kind of) gave some notice and you've been with them so long.
I don't think you're asking for anything unnecessary and if this family can't meet all your needs, I would move on! Good luck!
Most families don't accept a nanny bringing their child on the job with them. Thats from my experience. Trust me!
If you are able to work with them thru your pregnancy great. As long as everything is okay. I would save as much money aside for your newborns arrival. And try to stay home for at least six months after the birth if possible.
When my child was three months, there was a temporary nanny assignment for two days about five hours at a time. Just for the week. Let me tell you it was so hard to leave my son. And watch someone else child. All I kept thinking is I should be home with him. And its not like I put my son in a strangers care. My husband watched him for those couple of hours. Now hes over two and I work occasional jobs.
Maybe you can do that sign up with an agency and work temp. assignments.
I just wanted to mention my point of view. That once you have your child you may feel bad leaving him while caring for another families child. Especially a family were you even mentioned your not close to the parents.
Hope this makes sense. I am not the best at wording
I have to disagree with the above, I actually know quite a few families who don't mind the nanny bringing their child with them at all.
Sorry, meant to say, some actually see it as a benefit. The nanny won't have to leave early to go pick up her child from her nanny. Their nanny won't be missing work time because their childcare fell through. The nanny won't be distracted all day by phone calls to or from the person providing childcare for their child.
And, allowing a nanny to bring her child to work with them will make for a very happy nanny. happy nanny equals happy children!
Well I don't agree with the above two posters. What area of the country do you live in? Where I live its not a common practice for the nanny to bring their child along with them.
I live in Brooklyn NY. And, I didn't say it was common, just that a lot of families that I know personally allow it.
basically teh same thing
the
These all sound like very valid points and you do not sound crazy at all to ask for any of these...except for maybe the gym membership...that's more for the live-in type like myself.
However, trying to conceive, I would bring that up right away, first thing, they should definitely know. Simply, because if they say No, to either A. Maternity Leave, or B. bringing your child to work, I would instantly then say OK, no need to go on, and start looking for a new job.
Good Luck, sounds very nerve wracking but, I'm sure you'll do just fine!
Oh well you can't compare Brooklyn families to Manhattan family life.
^^Huh?
gimmeabreak
I know, huh? lol
Rainy day must be anti-Brooklyn-ite.
"I'm the kind of person who needs to be recognized monetarily to have a happy working environment and a continued interest in doing my job well."
Really? So if a family can not afford to give you a raise but still treat you well and can offer some non monetary perks you will have a continued interest in staying with them?
BTW getting a bonus at Christmas in not mandatory as far as I know. I'd be happy with what they did give you and not expect more.
I probably wouldn't mention anything about trying to have a baby yet. It may not happen in the next year or so. With non-nanny jobs this isn't something you discuss with the boss until it happens and then you can sit down and see what needs to be changed. I know nanny jobs are much different,but still I wouldn't mention it in case they assume it you will be pregnant asap and want to leave them or that your baby will become a problem to them or something and either tell you that if you wish to try for a baby to find another family to work for or they may fire you when it does happen.
You definitely need a raise, and a good one, to make up for not getting one before. I would wait until the review and the raise...if no raise=no more working for them. Nanny jobs are everywhere, all the time, bad economy or not. Good nannies, on the other hand, are not as easy to come by, so you'll be fine if you leave them.
Personally, I would not bring up the baby thing. Deal with that when it happens and just do one thing at a time right now and work on getting a raise and some perks. A gym membership, or something along the lines, sounds like a good idea.
My tip. If you want to bring your child to work, ask for nothing extra but a raise. Also, make yourself as usefull as possible so they can't live without you (do as much extra as you can). It is almost impossible to be able to bring your baby to work unless you already work for the family and they are ok with it.
I have a decent paying job, with a few perks (2weeks vacay, b-day gifts, holiday bonus, other gifts, car to use, a few others) and I do a ton of extra stuff. All of their children are now in school and I am more of a house manager (not maid), BUT I get to bring my baby to work. The only reason is that they can no longer function without me (You should have seen how much landry there was to do when I came back from having my baby!)
OP
I have to agree with Yaya. Try working on a raise or some perks first before you get too deep and discuss the possibility of having a baby. You may be getting too far ahead of yourself there... just deal with that when the time comes.
It's really nobody's business what your plans are anyway.
Good Luck!
Mitch
Ok first off being a nanny is not something most people do as charity work. It's called a job buddy. Would you stay working somewhere that didn't give you a yearly raise? Have you seen the cost of gas lately? I love the children I nanny for with all my heart and would HATE to ever leave but I need to watch out for number one. I work my ass off and during my free time I like to reward myself with vacations and nice things. If OPs bosses respected her and valued her dedication and loyalty they should give raises without having to be asked. They are clearly taking advantage of her generosity. This is unacceptable behavior on their part. If they can't afford a nanny then it's time for daycare.
Brooklyn families are miles different (literally!) than Manhattan families. Only recently, Brooklyn families started hiring nannies to try to keep up with their richer Manhattanite counterparts. All the Manhattan employers I know have money money money and some more money to spare. Every last one of the Brooklyn families I know with nannies are struggling but still trying to maintain the facade that they can have nannies too.
Just my observation.
snoooze. the title was so boring i couldnt bring myself to read a single word.
Then how's about YOU think up a title for it jojo? You seem to do nothing but complain about everything anyway, but you took the time to comment?
I think that you should demand a raise. 2 years with no raise, and only because of *their* issue is unacceptable. They decided to be employers, and because of that they have a responsibility to uphold. You should demand it because you deserve it, you shouldn't have to justify it with anything other than reviewing your great performance for them. I really think the only perks you can ask for are consistent sick days and vacation days. Make sure you agree that they can choose some of your vacation time, and you can choose some. (An employer I worked for paid me for at least 1 week of time they needed for their vacation, and for 1 week of my choice.)
I was in the same position of trying for a baby while I was a nanny still. We didn't tell any of the families because I didn't want them thinking I was distracted from their children or anything. You will have the opportunity later to discuss maternity leave with them. If you aren't even sure if you will be with them after this review, then you might not want to come back to them anyway after your baby would be born...
Of course this nanny should get a raise if she deserves one and the family can afford it and a gas allowance of some kind should be given if she drives the kids around at all. The way she worded it just sounded as though nothing but money would make her feel needed/wanted there.
And by the way it's Mich and not Mitch...just saying!
2 years and no raise???
I'm not a nanny as a form of charity. If you can't pay me what I deserve, earn, and expect...next!
Stormy-
i don't know where you get the idea that all Brooklyn families are poor and scraping by and all Manhattan families are rich, rich, rich. Have you been to the pricey areas of Brooklyn where apartments go for an easy million per?
Sorry for messing up your moniker Mich. I can see where you would think OP needed nothing but money to feel wanted. I will say though her thoughts are valid after almost two years of no raises. Food prices, gas prices and living prices have raised everywhere. If the parents can't afford a raise or a decent Christmas bonus than it's time to move on. I'm sure the parents have got pay increases during this time. If they can't afford to compensate the nanny then it's time to put the children in daycare.
Well, I'll agree that if your ultimate goal is to be able to bring your own baby to work with you, your best bet will be to ask simply for a raise and then make yourself indispensable. If you drive the kids around, you should definitely get at least a gas allowance.
However, I'd leave the discussion of "maternity leave" until you actually DO become pregnant. It could be a year from now and you could be totally ready to move on by then, (IF they agree to a raise and you agree to stay another year,) so no point in giving them all that time to ponder their worst fears about "what if" YOU become pregnant, because they will likely just start looking for another nanny who they feel won't throw a wrench into their plans. Sad but true reality.
You don't say what state you live in, but you'll have to define "maternity leave" when the time comes. In California, all that means is that the employer has to hold your job available to you for 12 weeks UNPAID or offer you a "comparable" position if they decide NOT to hold it open for you. So don't imagine that "maternity leave" means you get 6 months off with full pay or anything wonderful like that.
Gimmeabreak --
YES, those homeowners are exactly who I'm talking about. The owners of the $1mil+ brownstones. "Pricey" areas of Brooklyn are still... Brooklyn. There's a reason these families aren't living in Manhattan and it's not because Brooklyn's anything special. But, to keep up, they are employing nannies that they can barely afford. There is no *REAL* money in Brooklyn. Mostly just a bunch of nouveau riche suburbanites with jobs in Manhattan who convince themselves they're onto something living in Brooklyn, while really they can't afford Manhattan. They still live "in the outer boros", which is never anything to write home about.
Wow-what a dumb snob you are! It's almost laughable!
Gimmeabreak -- How can you call it snobbery when you don't even know if I'm a NANNY who has just observed this all for a long time?
First of all, I definitely think you should ask for a raise. In terms of possible perks, you might want to ask for medical insurance since you are planning on having a baby in the near future. I think you should keep this job if they agree to give you a raise. It sounds like you would be too bitter to properly do your job if you don't get it, and that is not fair to the children. It is a tough economy, but everyone will be better off if you found a different job. If you do keep your current job, I would definitely tell them about your plans to get pregnant.
perks ??? well sorry to say well that's too much and i don't think anyone would agree with this term
You're upset that you didn't get a bonus for your BIRTHDAY? For real? C'mon.
Poor "stormy." So sad.
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