Friday

What to tell the children....

UPDATE
Received Friday, September 26, 2008
I am completely surprised and shocked by the comments that my post received.

I am stunned by the fact that a majority of posters felt that I accused Ronda of theft or stealing.

Maybe you all misread my post. Ronda was in possession of a debit card that I gave her. She was authorized to make charges on the card to pay for expenses. I did not ACCUSE her of using the card.

When I told her that the account was overdrawn, she told me she didn’t know how that happened because she had checked the balance prior to making a charge on the account for candy at a store that I had asked her to do.

I told her there was a charge at the local grocery store in the same shopping plaza near my home on the same date as the day she picked up the candy on the way to pick up the girls at school.

She said she didn’t make the charge and that she never shops at that store (which is not true b/c she has picked up supplies for me at that store at my direction).

I accepted her denial that she made the charge that overdrew the account and told her I would dispute the charge with the Bank. I then called the bank to find out how to file a dispute.

I did not accuse Ronda of lying or stealing.

In addition, I don’t consider my requirement that she be reasonably available by telephone unreasonable. And I don’t think it has to rise to the level of an emergency to warrant a telephone call.

For example, my mother wanted to take the girls swimming after school with Ronda. That required a telephone call to inform her and let her know to bring her bathing suit. That call, of course, went unanswered. So, my mother had to wait and wonder whether or not Ronda even got the message and whether they would be taking the girls swimming after school.

As for asking her long-term, live-in boyfriend about what happened, I felt that was an appropriate line of communication because when Ronda was sick, she had her boyfriend Mike call in to tell my mom, not me, that she would not be coming into work.

And I am not controlling in the least. Ronda was paid a flat rate to come in and do the work at the hours she set with the exception of picking my children up from school. She only had 5 hours (4-6:30) of which she had to account to me. The rest of her work was done in the time she decided and that was fine by me as long as the work got done.

As for my children’s feelings, yes, I do believe they are paramount to a 40+ something adult nanny’s. Adults should act mature and professional in their dealings. They should make accommodations for children over their own self interest.

Also, the fact that many of you stated you would walk off your job with no notice, shows me just the type of people you are. I am an attorney by profession and under our rules of ethics, we cannot just dump a client who displeases us. We have a fiduciary duty to our clients.

Walking off a job without notice is unprofessional in any profession.

Do you think it would be fair to a Nanny to fire her by voice mail message without offering her severance pay?

That is tantamount to “quitting” without notice, as in “I’m quitting paying you, you’re done working here.”

As for what I told my children, well, I’m in the fortunate position of being able to write the history here. I told Raquel last night that Ronda didn’t want to work for us anymore, that I tried calling her, but she would not answer. I told her that she got something screwed up in her head, but not to worry, we would make new friends who didn’t have something screwed up in their head. Raquel agreed that she didn’t need a friend with something screwed up in their head.

As for Ronda, I sent her a text message and told her that I told the girls she was dead.

Vengeance is mine....

Original Post:
Received Saturday, September 20, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
What do you tell your children when your Nanny quits with no notice?

I employed Ronda beginning when my twin girls were 3 months old as their night nurse. I transitioned her into day time care for a couple of days a week. Ronda always worked hard and did things above and beyond the call of duty; washing cloths, cleaning up, etc…Ronda even took my children for sleepovers at her house on occasion and my children grew to love her very much.

Ronda was not without fault however. Ronda was stubborn to a fault, should could not stand to have anyone around when she was caring for the children, you could not reach her by telephone after hours to ask her about scheduling, and she NEVER asked for time off but would go behind my back and asks my mother if she could care for the girls in her absence and I was only informed after the fact. But, my children loved her, so I took the bitter with the sweet.

Even when Ronda took a job with another couple who required her to travel, I put up with her frequent absences as I agreed to that condition so she would continue working for me. When she was absent over 50% of the time she was supposed to work, I was forced to enroll them in pre-school at the age of 18 months so that I would have reliable childcare.

But, just to keep Ronda in the girls lives because they loved her so much, I agreed to keep her on 2 half days where she would continue to do their laundry, make their lunches, and pick them up early from school. I paid her for 10 hours of work at the rate of $15, which included only 5 hours of child care.

Last winter, when her husband was unemployed, I fired our maid and allowed Ronda to do the cleaning so she could get additional pay. When the other couple fired her because she refused to travel with them, I got her a new job 5 months ago with a friend of mine.

I maintained a bank account and gave her the debit card to charge expenses for my children and groceries. Right before Labor Day weekend, I noticed the account was overdrawn and bank charges were accruing. I called her up to tell her not to use the debit card until I could replenish the account and I asked her about over drafting the account.

She told me that she did make the charge that caused the overdraft. I was puzzled because the only way to get money out of that account was by using the debit card, which she had possession of. I told her I would dispute the charge with the bank.

The next day, a Friday, I noticed another debit charge to the account made in our City when I knew that Ronda was traveling out of town. I believed that someone had gained unauthorized access to my account. Since it was 6 p.m. on a Friday, I panicked. I called the bank and they told me it was possible to block the debt card. I tried calling Ronda several times to get the number off the debit card and when she didn’t pick up, I got exasperated at never being able to get in touch with her on the telephone and left a message asking her “can you EVER answer the phone?!”

After a series confusing calls with the bank to block the debit card, I discovered that I was the culprit. Earlier in the week, I had received a debit card that I believed to be linked to the account I use. When I tested it out, the ATM machine said I used the wrong PIN. I had the PIN reset to my normal PIN. It was me making the debit charges with the card linked to the expense account.

So, I called Ronda up, and as par for the course, could only get her voice mail. But I left a message explaining what had happened. I also sent her a text message that we needed to discuss the telephone access issue because I could never reach her by phone when I needed to.

The next day, she called me up and we discussed the incident, I apologized for my messages and we left it at that. She worked the next Tuesday and Thursday as scheduled. I called her at 6:30 on Thursday because I was going to be late and she said she could stay until me or my husband got home. My husband arrived before I did and she left without saying a word.

On Friday morning, Ronda left a voice message on my work phone at 8 a.m. stating that she was resigning and that her letter of resignation was in the cabinet above the desk in the family room. Ronad knows I never get to work before 9:30.

I tried calling her several times to discuss this and she would not answer the phone as usual. I called and spoke to her live-in boyfriend who explained that “She told you she didn’t use that card…” He also told me how upset she was on her vacation by the voice messages that I left trying to contact her about the debit card.

I asked him whether he thought that quitting without notice by voice message was reasonable and his response was that she quit and I should just move on. I asked him if he thought it would be fair to Ronda if I were to fire her by leaving her a voice message. For this, he had no answer.

Since then, I’ve not heard from Ronda. I have made up excuses to my children as to why she is picking them up from school. It breaks my heart, like when this morning, my daughter told me she wanted to go see Ronda and her daughter Amber. I told them she was out of town.

What do I tell my children?

They are only 3 years old and I don’t want them to feel sad since they’ve lost a friend so sudden and unexpectedly with no explanation.

Btw, the letter that I finally found after emptying out the entire contents of the cupboard stated that she was quitting because of “unresolved differences”. She never spoke to me EVER about any problems. She did however tell my friend who she works for that I accused her of something she just can’t get past. This just never happened.

I can't express how bitter I am about allowing this women to endear herself to my children and then betraying us in this manner. If she didn't want to work for me that is fine. To quit her employment in such as passive, aggressive and hostile manner, with no regard for my children is unconsionable.

155 comments:

Anonymous said...

What do you tell your children?
Simple. Tell them you blew it because you accused their nanny of something she didn't do and she was understandably hurt.Tell them you were the one who made the bank error and didn't have the sense enough to realize it for days. Tell them you expected her to be at your beck and call during her off hours. Tell them you think nothing of calling her at 6:30pm to say that you're going to be late. Tell them you discuss your nanny with her boyfriend. Tell them you make excuses and lie to them about her absence because you can't face the fact that your self-centered neurotic behavior sent her packing.

Anonymous said...

"She told me that she did make the charge that caused the overdraft."

I'm assuming you meant "didn't" here. I really can't blame her for leaving so abruptly, though it would have been nice to have given you a bit more notice and discussed why she was leaving with you. But you accused her, twice, of stealing from you based on your own careless error.

You say you apologized for the messages you left regarding never being able to reach her, but I nowhere saw you say you apologized for your accusations. I honestly wouldn't want to work for someone who was so quick to assume that I was a thief, either.

As for your children, tell them the truth, that she went to work for someone else. Toss in a lie and say that she said goodbye and that she'll miss them, if you like (I don't think 3 year olds need to know the details in this case). But in the future, try to be more careful about tossing out unfounded blame like that.

Anonymous said...

Um, sorry to have to say this mom, but your behavior towards your nanny leading up to her quitting was unconscionable.
I used to nanny several years ago for a lady with one son. I was there for almost a year. One day out of the blue she called up accusing me of stealing one of her credit cards. Of course, I freaked out. I told her to call the credit card company and ask them where it was used last, and if it was a purchase she did not make, to freeze the card.
About 2 hours later I get a call back from her saying, "I found it!" with a little nervous giggle. I told her I was glad for her and we hung up.
After sitting there for the rest of the night and stewing about it, I called her up the next morning and quit. How could I work for someone who would ever think I could steal from her? I was completely humiliated by her treatment of me and thought it would be best that I just end it there.

From now on, if something goes missing, you better tear your house upside down and call the bank and credit card companies before you take that leap and even insinuate that your nanny stole it!

Anonymous said...

You asked the boyfriend about the nanny's behavior? What would happen if the nanny asked your husband about your behavior? My only question is how she stayed with you this long.

Anonymous said...

I lovethe first poster..You said it right in every line...so perfect I have nothing to add. I would tell OP to re-read the first post over and over...it's what really happened.

Anonymous said...

P.S. there is nothing I hate more than a million off hours phone calls...and I hate bithy messages as to why I am not answering even more...Nannies have lives...

Anonymous said...

*bitchy*

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately for you and your children, you blew it. Hopefully you'll learn from it for the next nanny.

Anonymous said...

Normally I'm the type of nanny that would try to work things out, but in this situation I agree w/ Ronda, I would have done the same thing. You accused her of something that was your own fault, after she's been loyal to you for years. Can you see how this would really hurt her feelings? I think she even deserves severance pay from you. It's your fault she left. She is obviously very hurt by your actions. As far as her never answering her phones during after hours, well you can't fault her for that. That's her time, she's not being paid for it, so why would she answer her phone for work stuff?? You need to do the scheduling stuff on work time, not her time.
And as far as her scheduling things w/ your mother, it sounds to me like she was trying to actually make your life easier by doing that and not making you the middle man of finding substitute child care.
I really think your nanny sounds like she was an awesome nanny who loved your girls, and you sound like you must have been the overbearing, controlling type of mom-boss. I'm surprised she lasted as long as she did.
Tell your daughters to get used to it bc it sounds to me like you'll be burning through several nannies until you find one who will put up with you.

Kaitlyn and Daniel said...

Normally I usually side with the nannies on this one, but it is one of my pet peeves when people don't pick up the phone. Nobody likes being harassed at all hours by their phone ringing, but Ronda should have picked up the #@%#@^!#%! phone every once in a while! There is no excuse not to. I almost always pick up when my employers call, and if I don't feel like it, I'll give them a call back at MY convenience. Why even have a voice mail system if you're not going to return anyone's calls?

OP, it doesn't sound to me like you "accused" her of making those charges but it's early and maybe I'm not reading in between the lines enough. But I think it's safe to say she was probably insulted and you probably should have just waited to speak with her about it in person.

Another thing... in the future, THINK about what you are doing. By allowing Ronda to act sneaky about vacation time and knowing, but putting up with, the fact that she never answered the phone, you let her think that behavior was ok and you basically condoned it by continuing to employ her. No, it's not required of a nanny to be at the employer's beck and call but it's professional courtesy to return calls, and I honestly don't think either one of you acted professionally.

Anonymous said...

Wait a second here....

If I worked for you, I'd leave in the exact same way.

You leave her threatening, nasty voicemails when she was on VACATION, accusing her of stealing when it was your fault? You apologized for the phone calls, but did you apologize for calling her a thief?

And then you thought it was appropriate to call her boyfriend?!

Anonymous said...

Ronda and you clearly had trust issues and communication problems so it may be just as well that things ended. You think you put up with a lot, and she obviously thought she had put up with too much. I fail to see how she betrayed you. There is never a good way to leave in this kind of situation. I would not really worry about your kids, since they are very young and they did not spend most of their time with her. I would just tell them that grown-ups have to make decisions and that Rondo made the decision to leave because it was best for her. If you act fine about it, they will be fine too.
I am not sure how you feel about that, but if you feel that she was overall a good nanny, how about writing her a few words of apology and a letter of reference?

Anonymous said...

So you noticed another charge made to the account that Friday. How did you notice it? Did you check the balance over the phone or look at it online? Because if you look at it online, it tells you where the charge was made.

I have two checking accounts with debit cards, and sometimes I get confused between the two. If I call and the balance is lower than I thought on one, I go home and check it online. The minute she said she didn't make the purchase, you should have sat down and thoroughly investigated before making accusations. I mean, she'd been with you for THREE YEARS. To work for someone that long and then find that they didn't trust me...I'd quit too!

You should work out scheduling beforehand. With your next nanny, you should make it clear that the ONLY time you will call after work hours is in A TRUE EMERGENCY. Or how about this: I have a unique job where I'm not in an office - I work 80% on the road and 20% from home. I have told my boss that if I am finished with my work for the day, I clock myself in if she calls after that, in 15-minute increments. News flash: people have lives outside of work!

UmassSlytherin said...

OP,
I think the people above have said it very well. Except for Katlyn and Daniel: it didn't sound to you as if OP was accusing Rhonda? Well you must have read it wrong Kate and Dan, because it sure sounded that way to me. It also does not sound to me as if Rhonda was neccesarily acting "sneaky" about vacation time. Perhaps she wanted to see if she could work out a sub before she asked so that she could save OP the trouble: you have no idea how that played out.

I have to say, OP, that it is up to you how you wish to explain it to your children. But in my opinion, I would have quit too if I was Rhonda. Clearly you are upset, OP, and clearly you love your child. But this responsibility is yours and yours alone. It is a horrible thing to be accused of stealing or lying when you are innocent: a VERY icky feeling. This was, simply put, a "deal-breaker" on your part.

One of my favorite phrases is "There's two sides to every story." We have yours. I would love to hear your former nanny's. I hope she reads this and writes in.

Anonymous said...

"She did however tell my friend who she works for that I accused her of something she just can’t get past. This just never happened. "

Um OP, that did happen, You accused her of using the card. Like the first poster said, tell your children you drove Ronda away. You made her quit.

And about not answering the phone when she is off, good for her, I also dont answer the phone when I am off, it is called my personal time. I am not at your beck and call. I am OFF enjoying my personal time, what we do in our personal time is our business and none of yours. And for calling her while she was on vacation, shame on you. thats her vacation. vacation away from you and work and stresses of life. I once had a employer call me while i was on vacation asking when i would be back. in told them i would be back in town in a couple hours but i still wouldnt be back at work till my scheduled time cause this is the time i took for me!

Kaitlyn and Daniel said...

Guys, when I read that someone "asked" someone about overdrafting an account and then as a result tells that person they will file a dispute with the bank, implying that the bank made the error, I don't believe that sounds like accusation! I think that sounds like a legitimate question. The only other time she even discussed the debit charges with Ronda was when she called to get the number off the card. Read exactly what the OP wrote without trying to read between the lines and you will not see any hints of "accusation."

And as for the being "sneaky," it is the OP's responsibility and preference as to who cares for her kids. Maybe Grandma is old and feeble and can't care for the kids as well as OP would like, and that's why she felt annoyed when Ronda asked Grandma without first consulting OP.

You guys can rake me over the coals if you want but I'm not going to believe that the OP holds all the fault in this situation.

And yeah, UMass, I don't have any idea how it played out. But neither do you, so please don't assume that I read something wrong just because you took the words differently than I did.

Kaitlyn and Daniel said...

Also, yes, I do think it's unprofessional to not return phone calls. No one said the nanny needs to be at the employer's beck and call but returning calls at YOUR convenience (assuming the employers aren't calling all the freakin' time) is the professional thing to do.

This is the last time I'm going to even look at this feed because I am not playing anymore than I already have into the drama of this post, lol.

Anonymous said...

Dear OP,
The way you spoke to your nanny, both about the phone and the overdraft, would you speak like that to a coworker? I get that you are her employer but she is taking care of your children not your paperwork, so smart bosses everywhere elevate the way they treat their childcare providers-
and you are crying foul because of how she treated your children, it doesn't work that way. First, she gave them more. Second they loved her. Third you should have treated her with more regard than you would the weekly maid and finally, wake up- you probably hurt her.

Yes, nannies have feelings. Nannies who show children lots of love and affection are more likely to have lots of feelings. You can't be bitchy ms employer to that and expect to have her scampering at her feet to serve you and answer you.

I don't know. I think you were in the wrong here. You probably hurt her. No one likes to be accused of thievery.

And finally, on cell phones-
did you pay for that cell phone?

If not, you have NO right to dictate when she answers it, even while on the job. But certainly not off of the job.

And lastly, why would you be calling her previously about scheduling? My boss provides my cell phone for me, but she has never ever had to call me on my off hours on it. Ever.

It sounds like you have sensationalized your importance and minimized her significance. Too bad you didn't realize that you were equals.

UmassSlytherin said...

kaitlyn and daniel,

I shall respond anyway on the off chance that you do check.

I absolutely was not trying to "rake you over the coals." I simply disagreed with you: no need to take it personally. It's called having an adult discussion.

I think we can all gather from OP's post that she assumed that Rhonda was using the debit card since she left countless messages on her phone when she was off duty, which to me boarders on harrassment. I think we can gather quite a bit from OP's post. No nanny in their right mind would continue to work for someone who clearly mistrusts them. I don't think OP sounds like an evil person at all. As I said, she merely committed a "deal breaker" and now she must pick up the pieces accordingly.

Anonymous said...

I think the nanny should answer the phone with the employer calls if a previous voice mail said there was an emergency. You are expected in many other jobs to answer an emergency phone call. My dad would get called in to his business to turn off alarms, I will get called to tell someone where an important document was filed, etc. It is rude to not answer when someone tries to call you multiple times. If you are afraid you are going to ask to work, grow some balls and just say no, I can't. Don't ignore the call.

Anonymous said...

For the sake of your children, I'm going to offer some suggestions. When you get a new nanny, do not phone her at home, unless it is a dire emergency. (See The Nanny Diaries) If you need to discuss future scheduling, and can't do it when she is at work, send her an e-mail.
Come home on time. Calling at 6:30 and "telling" her you will be late.... of course she stayed, what choice did she have? Not being able to make plans because they can't count on leaving work on time is the number one reason I hear from nannies for quitting jobs.
In other words, acknowledge that she has a life, and doesn't just exist for your convenience.

Anonymous said...

If someone I worked for accused me of stealing I wouldnt think twice about leaving right after I told her I didnt do it. For someone to even think I would be dishonest is such an insult. As for not answering her phone "after" work hours....she isnt obligated to do so. Is it rude? YES. But Im wondering how often this employer called her after work? I cant imagine being accused of stealing from someone.

Anonymous said...

I invite nannies everywhere to leave at their designated times all next week, 9/23-9/30 whether or not anyone is home or not.

Stop bowing to the man. You have a life. Walk out the door when you are supposed to. Let the parents deal with the child neglect charges, they were supposed to be home.

They don't care. Many nannies have children that they have to get home too. The white man doesn't care about the black man's child at home, being left with a 10 year old cousin for an hour because no one else was there when mom got stuck working late again for the man.

Let these bitches and bastards have it. Show up to work on time and leave on time.

Any of you who don't demand time and a half at a minimum (I demand 2x my rate for any hours after 645. And I start at the quarter hour, so arriving home at 650 is going to cost my employer 1/4 of double my hourly pay.

Anonymous said...

shanna..why?????Such ignorance!!
It really is a shame if you are a nanny..spewing such racism and hate.

"the white man doesn't care about the black mans child at home"

get bent on someone else's time!
you poor victim you!!!

You have a point about bosses showing up on time..but that is about all you have!
Nobody is going to leave a child a lone to make a point to their boss..that is childish and neglectful!
If your boss is late once or twice shame on them, if he /she is late all the time and you put up with it,shame on you. Make your own changes..find a new job or stop bitching. Only YOU can allow yourself to continually be in that situation.
Your remarks show your ignorance!

Anonymous said...

umm shanna. If you walk out of the house with kids still there and no one watching them YOU will be charged with neglect not the parents....

I understand your frustrations but taking it out on kids and trying to play the race card is unacceptable.

Anonymous said...

You blew it OP. Sure, when YOU tell the story, you probably gleam over the fact you called her repeatedly on her vacation accusing her of stealing from you.

It's probably "Oh, I called her once asking if she knew what happened with the debit card." Yeah right.

I HATE after hours phone calls and if my bosses called constantly, I wouldn't answer either.

I was also accused of stealing once. The mom kept a little cash in her desk drawer, and when it disappeared, she immediately came to me accusing me of taking it. I denied it, but I knew she didn't believe me. The dad came home later and I overheard him tell her he took the cash to pay his green fees at the golf course.

Did she ever apologize to me or tell me the money had been found? No. I was young and stupid and didn't even quit then, but I should have. It only got more miserable at that job.

Kudos to your nanny to quitting on you. No one should work for someone who doesn't trust them.

Anonymous said...

I tell my bossy I leave at 7 on dot. She no home, I still leave at 7 on dot. She no I mean business and she come home before 7 on dot. I tell her I will show up at day at 8 on dot or befor. I do. She know it. If she comed after 7 I dont no what I would do but it would be bad.

Anonymous said...

Ronda sounds like a bitch who had little tolerance for you and your ways. She should have opened her God given mouth and communicated with you instead of scampering away like the coward pig she is.

Anonymous said...

ISEEit=IDIot

Anonymous said...

I almost want to giggle at the OP's post here. In so many ways, she wants us to see what a great employer she is and how horrible Ronda is.
Numerous after hour phone calls, calling at 6:30 to say you'll be late and ACCUSING HER OF THEFT are just three of the reasons I applaud Ronda for leaving with no notice. I would've left, too. And OP, when she said you accused her of something she just can't get past, hellooooo, you did do just that. What a rotten employer you must be. Your poor kids.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

She was your employee, she has resigned her position and will not be coming back. Tae her boyfriend's advice and move on.

You will need to find a new nanny, and you can tell your daughters that Ronda moved far away and can't take care of them anymore.

This is how employment works. She is not a boyfriend that owes you extra love and consideration when breaking off the relationship. You hired her to care for your daughters and now you are whining that she had the gall to make your daughters form a bond with her??? Good luck finding a new nanny. You might want to specify in the job description that you expect to be able to conduct business with them for any reason and for as much time as you wish during their off hours. Seriously, does YOUR employer work with you all day every day and then insist on being able to call you up at 9:00 on a Saturday night to "discuss scheduling" with you for half an hour?

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, and you might also want to alert your candidates that you reserve the right to accuse them of anything at any time with no apologies expected or offered, no matter how groundless your accusation turns out to be.

Anonymous said...

Regardless of how it happened, why don't you treat your children to the truth of life, that sometimes people can't be in our lives forever, and that Ronda decided that she could no longer work for your family. You're children are three and while that may seem young, you owe it to them to tell them the truth about Ronda without scaring them into thinking THEY did anything wrong to make Ronda go away.

We don't know exactly what went on with your exchanges with Ronda, nor will we, because this is a one-sided discussion, but I hope that you can reflect back on the negative and positives of your relationships with Ronda and try to handle things a little bit better with your next caregiver.

I know you are bitter about letting her get close to your children, but she is probably bitter as well for things ending badly, and not being able to see children anymore that she had known so well for 3 years. If someone is able to walk out of your life so quickly, there had to have been a major issue with you. Take a moment and reflect back on your exchanges, attitude and treatment of Ronda.. You might be surprised as to what you find.

Anonymous said...

It's the most horrible feeling in the world to be accused of something you didn't do, or repeatedly questioned about missing money even if there is no overt accusation.

When I was 19 and in college I worked part-time at a Blimpie sandwich shop and the owner accused me of taking $50 from the cash register and fired me. I was so shocked that I turned bright red and started crying. I'm sure she took that as evidence of my guilt.

I will NEVER forget how that felt! - as well as numerous more minor incidents in my life where I have been on the "Ronda" end of incidents that more clearly parallel your story.

I agree with PP; you need to do some soul-searching here and really think about your responsibility in this situation before hiring another nanny.

Anonymous said...

I have to be honest here, if I were the nanny, I may have left abruptly as well. To be accused of basically "stealing money" would just be a deal-breaker for me. It would be very hurtful for me to be accused of that and I think the damage has been done, so nothing could bring things back to how they once were. In other words, there is no damage control that can be done. That is a big accusation to me, to be accused of being a crook. Your nanny was probably very offended, hurt and now feels betrayed by you.
As for her not picking up her phone during off hours, I understand it must be annoying to always get the voice message option, but unless it is specifically stated in her nanny contract that she is to answer her phone whenever you call, then I don't think that is a valid issue to hold against her. She probably is enjoying her life as she should. Childcare is hard work and maybe she is sleeping, watching a movie, swimming at the beach, etc. As long as she is not on call, she really isn't obligated.

I'm sorry the children are affected by this. That is the sad part, the children are always caught in the middle. You can call Ronda and ask if she wouldn't mind maybe doing some "date night" sitting for you, but you would maybe have to offer some type of incentive to her to come back. Maybe up her pay??

Anonymous said...

Sounds like she had unresolved differences with you exactly as she said and her boyfriend is right, move on. Maybe next time you should try to treat your nanny with a bit more respect.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how we all got on the late employer thing but I have to tell you outta everything that has to do with being a nanny and a in home provider now...lateness sucks. Not one of my families would be pleased if they arrived to drop off in the morning and I was in bed and they had to wait on me 5, 10 or 15 minutes. Considering I start at 6am and end at 6pm...the earliest I can schedule a dinner or anything is 6:30 giving time for a quick change of clothes and driving to the place...It sucks to have a parent roll in 15 minutes late and that means I am either late OR I don't get to freshen up which makes me not enjoy my night..UGH ..it just sucks. But to the other nannies out there ...do you feel like me and when they are late and they call because of a good reason or even if they just are nice about the whole thing you can handle staying over...BUT it's when you get a call 5 minutes till quit time and they phrase it "hey wanted to give you the heads up its looking like I will be there at 6:30" I friggin wanna shoot them!!!

Anonymous said...

I was accused of stealing $500.00 dollars that was left sitting in an envelope on a counter(payment to furniture mover)..that several employees had access to.The police were brought in and questioned only myself and one other employee, though there were 5 of us. I worked at this high end consignment store for almost 7 years. I had a key to the front door and bent over backwards for a very demanding owner. She did not even have the guts to accuse me to my face. I found out about it during a telephone call to a worker/friend at another consignment shop. This was on a Sunday and 10 minutes later I was in my car and on the way to my bosses church. I walked right up to her in the middle of the service and told her we needed to talk. She was so surprised to see me at her church..got indignant with me and tried to send me away. So,I started discussing it right there..she quickly agreed to join me outside.
This rumour took only a week to travel to many other Antique and consignment shops in the area and I was pissed.These were shops that I sold Antiques & jewelry to on the side. I confronted her and she fumbled her way through a lame excuse that one of her (grown) daughters suggested I did it. Implying she did not say "I did it". I asked her if she corrected them and stood up for me..she just looked at me with a blank stare?!
I told her she owed me an apology..she felt she did not..I was angry and ended the conversation.. I told her I would see her at work on Monday. I showed up Monday opened the store, my boss came in for an hour and then left for the day,as usual.It was payday and I collected my paycheck out of my inbox & 20 minutes later,I put a sign on the front door saying "gon fishin"for a week and I left! I heard the following day when she showed up to a closed store she was pisssed and the note made her even more angry!
2 months later,more money came up missing,the police were called and they found the wad of cash and a few diamond rings in an employees bag/purse. An older women around 60..she had worked for the store for about 8 months.She admitted to stealing quite a lot of money and jewelry during her 8 months there,including the $500 that I quit my job over.
But unlike me, she was not a divorced mom,with tatoos and a big mouth who rode a Harley.
A few days later I got a phone call from the owner..no apology but a job offer.I asked her "if there was anything else she had to say to me?" She said "no?" I laughed at her on the phone and hung up.Yes,I would have loved to have my job back and her apology would have allowed that to happen.

Being accused or someone even suggesting that you took or stole something can really make you lose faith in people.

Sounds like you screwed things up with a good nanny.That is sad where your children are concerned. There are alot of great suggestions above..you might want to take a few before you hire a new nanny. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

You have a harley??!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, cool about the Harley BLB!

I had a similar thing happen when working at a large department store. I was one of two people who took the bank bags from the different cash registers and locked them into the safe at closing time. I didn't ever look into them or handle them beyond accepting them from the employees who brought them to me and walking them straight to the safe.

I found out by happenstance one night at work that the person who opens the safe in the morning an makes the bank deposit reported $600.00 missing, and that the store had made arrangements to ambush me and the other employee with polygraph tests upon our arrival at work that evening...only before we arrived it was discovered that the "missing" $600.00 had been erroneously sent to the bank with the other deposit...by the employee who reported it missing.

Even though the whole sequence of events played out before I heard about any of it and I was never actually accused to my face, I felt really, really icky. And I was outraged that they could think such a thing was even possible from me.

OP, that kind of thing is really hard to get past...no matter how veiled you think the accusation may be.
If you really want to put this behind you, swallow your pride, make a very sincere apology to your ex-nanny, and offer to write her a letter of recommendation. Then move on a little bit wiser.

Anonymous said...

BLB,
A regular here who did not know you were divorced. I wish I could talk to you about it but I don't want to say who I am. you seem like such a strong woman, and I am trying to be too, since I am now going through a divorce myself leaving an abusive situation and I have a small child. (Sorry to get off topic but I do have a point.)

I think that we as women have to deal with so much, and when another woman acts so disrespectfully towards us by accusing us of something we did not do, it really sets us back as women. It is a big deal to get accused of stealing or cheating or lying when you are NOT! I am sorry that happened to you, but as I said you were so strong to leave the way you did.

People need to think twice before they accuse others of doing horrible things, because I can say from experience that it is not a good feeling to be accused and be innocent.

I love you BLB!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce anon regular BLB fan. I hope you and BLB can have a chance to share somehow, 'cause there's no better kind of person to talk to in hard times than somebody who has been there already. Maybe Marypoppin pills can somehow connect you two privately and anonymously by e-mail via meebo...if you both want to?

chick said...

While I disagree with HOW Rhonda handled quitting, I think her feelings were likely pretty hurt by the accusations you made. Should she have told you she was leaving in person? Yes.

There's fault on both sides her, and I think the working relationship you had with Rhonda was pretty poor.

That all said, you tell your girls that Rhonda loves them very much, but that she will not be seeing them any more. When they ask why, you can tell them the truth:

"Mommy made a bad mistake and hurt Rhonda's feelings. Mommy's mistake made Rhonda leave our family. Mommy is sad Rhonda is gone, and I know you are too."

or you can fib: "Rhonda had to find a new job with better hours. I know you are sad she is gone."

or you can lie: "I don't know why Rhonda decided to leave. I know you miss her, and are sad she left our family."

Regardless of what you say, you will need to repeat fairly frequently the following:

"It is NOT because of anything you girls did!"

Anonymous said...

Shanna, yours is the most ignorant post I think this blog has ever seen. Leave the children to their own devices because mom & dad didn't show up? That's messed up! And to sydney white, I am liking you more & more with each post. You rock!

Anonymous said...

Ok Op you were wrong and unprofessional on many levels.

However, two wrongs don't make a right. It's very unprofessional to quit without notice and grossly unfair to the kids.

BTW I rarely, if ever answer or use my cell phone. I am not a person with a cell phone growing out of my ear. Oddly enough, unless it's a true emergency, my employers somehow manage to discuss business with me during business hours. And if they dared call me on vaction to discuss crap that in the end had nothing to do with me, you better believe I would be outta there, but with notice.

Anonymous said...

My employer texts me and calls me on my off time but I don't mind in the least. 9 times out of 10 it's a picture message of something cute or funny her kid did over the weekend.

This past week (I've been off since last Thursday) she has texted me about 5 times a day and again I have no problem with it. It's not usually that often when I'm not working but these were extenuating circumstances.

I was actually accused of stealing or throwing away another employees car keys. I helped her look for her keys all over the store and even offered to take her home when we couldn't find her keys. The next day the boss called me in and accused me of doing something to the keys. My mouth dropped and I turned red, it took everything in my power not to scream at her. I was pretty pissed and quit right then and there. To this day she still thinks I took the keys. I walked into the store 8 years later to buy a card and she followed me around the store watching me the entire time.

Anonymous said...

sdmom, who is pp?

Anonymous said...

is that to mean previous posters?

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

Thanks Mom, I can absolutely put them together.

Since I already know who "anon regular blb fan" is :) .... if BLB wants to Meebo me with her E-mail, I can send it forward.

Anonymous said...

WELL, I just had a chance to finally sit down and check ISYN..had a very busy day today and never got back to it after my earlier posts. Sorry I did not respond to the posts directed to me sooner.

As a matter of fact my husband who went on a Harley ride with some friends,won a raffle prize and needed me to pick it up in my car as it was too big for him to tote on the bike.silly huh?!

If you like Harleys..this will really tickle you..we were married on a Harley and our wedding party rode down the aisle on a Harley..3 bikes in all..it was a lot of fun and my husband looked like a kid in a candy store and that made it even better.Here is the topper..Elvis married us!!

picture it..me a plus size penny in a white(yes white ..tee-hee)dress with a full train hopping on the back of our bike after our I Do's,shoving that dress between my legs..very lady like BTW, with 50 some guests,in 100 degree weather,in a chapel that can only hold 40 guests..it was fun and exciting and as we rode down the strip(Vegas) people waved and cheered and took pictures of us..it was amazing..it was then that I knew the only other time anything had ever felt this right was the day my son was born.

That was 7 years after I went through a very,very painful divorce.After I swore I would never love any man again with my whole heart because it hurt to bad when it was broken.

I am so sorry anon regular fan of blb..divorce can be so devestating . Mine was .I thought I would never be the same..and you know..I never was..I was better and stronger and I won't lie..that took a long,long time. I won't go into too many details but this is how I explained it to our son" I love your daddy,but he is like chocolate cake,he is just not good for me".
If I hated the man I divorced,it would have been so much easier.
I hated what he did to me but I loved him.

Here is a Haiku that helped me to keep things in perspective..I hope it helps you too:

The barn burnt down
now
I can see the moon.

I used to say that to myself alot.
I am sure it means something different for everyone..

I will say many prayers for you and your little one tonight.
Remember,this is only one phase of a very long life that you have been blessed with. You will find strength along the way in places you would never think to look or rather,it will find you.
I will be wishing that strength and comfort your way.
I already find you amazing as I know first hand,how hard it is to leave a marriage,an abusive relationship and all with a young child in hand..your strength has already found you.
Thank you for your kind post and know that even when you least expect it,you are on the mind of atleast one ISYN poster.(there are so many sweet and lovely posters here..I think you will be on several minds!)
I'll post again tomorrow,I hope you will too.

mom,thank you for the suggestion . As always you ae so thoughtful...and MPP,I am sleeping on it. I hope you are both well.

Goodnight.


Sorry to derail but I will take my licks with a wet noodle..this one was worth it!

Anonymous said...

Sydney White and wtf?, I think that Shanna was using hyperbole in her post to make a point about employers who are not punctual. I truly doubt that she was actually suggesting that nannies stage walkouts across the country as a statement against late employers. However, in my experience as a nanny I have certainly been called at the last minute and asked to stay much later than I was supposed to. I don't have any children at home to worry about, but many nannies do, and it's pretty clear that this issue is not disconnected to race and class.

Anonymous said...

I fail to see where race and class come into the story. It is true that some parents have little consideration for their nannies' lives (and probably little consideration for others in general). But I don't think that working parents enjoy late meetings that drag on forever or welcome an unexpected workload at the end of the day.
Nannies should be compensated for their overtime, but they should also understand that flexibility may be a requirement of their employer's job. It is indeed a difficult situation if the nanny has little ones of her own, and it is something both nannies and parents should think about before getting into a working relationship.

Anonymous said...

I think this post runneth over with nannies. What I think of my nanny is this, she should show up, do her job and be thankful to me for providing her a job. What would Ronda be doing if she were not a nanny? Working at Walmart for $6.75 an hour?

I don't understand you nannies, balking at $14 an hour. You do realize many fine Americans make far less doing far more?

I believe that nannies as a whole are overpaid. Drastically overpaid. I would suggest there are possibly 10 exceptions to this rule.

These people aren't rocket scientists. Turning their nose up at $14 cash free, are you kidding me?

When a project isn't done at work, my boss goes ballistic, makes menacing threats, attacks everyone. It doesn't matter who dropped the ball, we all take the heat. That's life.

The OP is an employer, she isn't Rhonda's fairy godmother.

Maybe I am in the minority but I believe when you rule with a tight fist, you get much more respect. In fact in my personal experience, inflicting the slightest amount of fear in my employees causes them to quiver in their drawers as they race to find the best and quickest way to please me.

I'm a good employer, I'm no slouch.

Anonymous said...

SFD, I make $90K/year and I'm a great employee because my employers treat me like solid gold. I have a feeling you may get quick results from your employees, but they're plotting to leave you whenever something better comes along.

UmassSlytherin said...

SFD,

I don't believe you are in the minority. Many, many people are classist snobs. Just like you.

Anonymous said...

sfd, you may have a few good points in your post,however not ALL nannies are cash free..implying not paying taxes! I most certainly pay taxes and claim my income!
Not all of us balk at $14.00 an hour..just a certain few who live in areas that command more due to the social& economical setting that they live in!Certain places in NY,Ca and possibly a few other states do pay nannies much more than the national avarage.

Your post has valid points but the nasty tone that accompanies it will put most nannies on the defense.Perhaps that was your angle though.
Not all of us are destin for Wal mart..though in my opinion any one holding a blue collar job is just as worthy as a white collar worker..a job is a job and it does not define who we are but rather what we do!
I worked for the airlines as a control agent and commanded a much higher salary as well as better benefits doing so,but I hated dealing with pompous,rude,impatient people who thought because they were flying first class could treat others including passengers and employess alike,like crap! So,I went back to the field I loved and am very happy.
Some people in this world are not willing to work for big money even though we hate our jobs. Some of us have pride and integrity and are willing to sacrifice material things in order to be happy and enjoy what we do on a daily basis.

BTW, Your post reeked of self importance and snobishness.

If you truly think that all people work in the field that they are actually educated in ..you would be wrong! Perhaps Nelly nanny IS a rocket scientist but got tired of dealing with self important asses like yourself in a stuffy office or lab all day!Afterall if you are going to deal with people who whine and complain all day long,(see post above) it is so much easier to take when they are two!

Being a nanny is one of the most important jobs in the world..what is it that you do sfd,defend women like Casey Anthony for a living?

Anonymous said...

BTW..Of course this post "runneth over with nannies"..it is called" I Saw Your Nanny"

Gee,do you think the Fantasy Football blogs runneth over with avid football fans...hmmm..uh,maybe?!!
Dee-Da-Dee!!

Anonymous said...

SFD,
I once read some advice to parents... understand that the qualities that make one successful in the business world are not necessarily those that make for a good relationship with a nanny.. You seem to be a good example. Do you really think instilling fear in your nanny will result in her lavishing love on your children? Will she arrive in the morning happy and looking forward to all the fun and stimulating activities she has planned? Because if she doesn't, you may see a post about her on ISAWYOURNANNY!

Anonymous said...

Two Cents is right, some employers have jobs that require them to stay late frequently, have irregular meeting schedules etc., and they need a nanny who is flexible. In that case it is imperative to make this clear when interviewing nannies. Unfortunately, many don't.

Anonymous said...

I cannot even imagine how pissed I would be if I was on vacation and my boss left me numerous voice mails about a mistake SHE made and THEN wanted to ream me out for not answering my phone.

If you take it out of the Nanny world and drop this in the corporate world, it highlights the inappropriateness of it even more. If you are not paying your employees for 24/7 access (and some people do - I have a dear friend who pays a caregiver extra for this kind of attention. A LOT extra!), then you don't get to call them whenever you want and expect them to drop their own lives to become involved in yours.

Anonymous said...

I don't agree with the suggestions I've read on this thread about what to tell the children. I think you should tell the children that Rhonda had to leave to get another job, that you tried to get her to continue babysitting but she really has to get another job, and that Rhonda really loves them. The children should be told that her leaving has nothing to do with them or something they've done. This should be phrased better, in a more positive way, when talking with them. This should be said calmly and reassuringly and matter-of-factly. Depending on what the kids say in response, it can be a good idea to remind them that Mommy and Daddy will always be with them, Grandma & Grandpa (whatever the case may be) but that babysitters come and go. This is a way of reassuring them of the permanence of love that they will always experience from their parents and family.

It would be great if you can fill the next few weeks with more fun activities with Mommy, or fun actiivites with Daddy. This will help create new routines that will enable them to more easily adapt to her absence.

It would be ridiculous and inapropriate to tell them that Rhonda left because Mommy did something wrong. The children should not be burdened by something like that.

I think that so many on this thread have been too hard on the OP. She is asking for help as to how to talk to her children about something that she is concerned that they may find devastating, and you are attacking her. She is already very hurt as it is. I don't see the point in kicking her while she is down. Not very nice.

There has been so much emphasis placed on the OP on this thread, simply because she called Rhonda several times (it seems) while she was trying to figure out the bank card thing. I don't see anything wrong with calling Rhonda several times about something so important. It could have been very serious, and before the OP knew the resolution to the bank card thing, the right thing to do was to talk to Rhonda. One never knows what could have happened, and that is why the OP needed to reach her right away. For example, maybe Rhonda's purse got stolen, and someone else was using the card. It could have been anything. So it seems bizarre that so many commenters on this thread are criticizing the OP for trying to reach her on the phone.

There were things that Rhonda was remiss in, so I find it strange that all the criticism is directed at the OP. I don't see much to criticize the OP about at all.

Rhonda did not show up 50% of the time so regularly, that this is why the OP decided to use day care or nursery or whatever. Yet she hung onto Rhonda because her kids liked her. This is the only "mistake" I see the OP as having made. Actually, it was genuinely a mistake, and not a "mistake," because instead of seeing Rhonda in a realistic way, (namely, as unreliable) and slowly moving away from her, the OP continued to idolize her and try to keep the perfect image that the kids had of her, and go out of her way to make the schedule work to keep Rhonda on.

I once had a sitter that became more and more unreliable. After she didn't show up for work a couple of times, I told my son, when this was happening, that she was supposed to come today but was unable to. He came to understand the reality that she was having certain problems. This helped soften the blow in the end. We told him she still cares about him but she just can't always get to work when she's supposed to. He took it well.

OP, I hope you are not too intimidated by all the negative posters, and that you come back on here and tell us how things are going and how you are handling it. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

What a lovely letter fox in socks, and I agree 100%. I believe Ronda received much more credit than she deserved. OP was very honest in her post and it caused her even more grief when all she was looking for was a way to soften the blow for her children.

Best of luck to you OP. Please let us know what you said to your children so that if this happens to someone else, they'll know what to do. And thank you for being so open about everything.

Anonymous said...

BLB, I just wanted to say thanks for this:

"Some people in this world are not willing to work for big money even though we hate our jobs. Some of us have pride and integrity and are willing to sacrifice material things in order to be happy and enjoy what we do on a daily basis."

It was what I needed to hear right now. BTW- I know this is completely random to what all these comments are about, but I had to mention it.

UmassSlytherin said...

I have to respectfully disagree with fox in sox and with the mrs.

the fact of the matter, the bottom line, is that OP is angry with Rhonda for quitting and is feeling upset that she must explain this to her kids. It is another case of a parent's dismay at having to parent. It is just life, OP, that this happened. Chalk it up to experience. I have already stated that I do not think OP is a bad person, but I do think that she needs to keep a stiff upper lip and stop playing the victim. Her nanny left: deal with it. For whatever the reason, she should deal with it in the best manner possible. I also do not think she should tell the children that the nanny left because she screwed up. The kids do not have to know that. Simply tell the children that Rhonda loved them but had to go to a different job. In time they will accept this and realize that it is life. It seems pretty simple to me.

OP I'm sorry this has caused you so much stress. You will survive though, and Rhonda will too, without a doubt. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Umass in that telling the children nanny left because mommy screwed up is TMI. Also, who knows how a three year old is going to process the idea that people you love can leave forever if you screw up, make a mistake, or somehow disappoount them.

I saw and liked above where somebody suggested mommy explain that family, like mommy, daddy and grandma and grandpa, are always part of your life (which leaves for later, of course, the awkward converastion about sometimes people die...but that can be saved for older than three), but that nannies, although we may love them, are employees, and they have lives that belong to a different family than ours. Maybe if they have had any friends that moved away, you can compare it to that. Tell them that people have to go on with thier own lives, and sometimes that takes good friends away from each other, even though they still love each other and miss each other.

kathleencares said...

I don't think the nanny should have quit this way, regardless of what happened. She should have taken the children into consideration since they were so attached to her.
In terms of what happened between mom and nanny, it doesn't sound like the mom accused the nanny of anything. She was just pissed because she couldn't get a hold of her. I can understand both sides on the telephone issue. It is really frustrating when you can never get a hold of someone, but it is also unreasonable for an employer to expect an employee to be available on their off hours.
It is an unfortunate situation for the kids, but it sounds like you just have to let them know she is not coming back.

Anonymous said...

I agree with others. You blew it. Move on.

**News Flash**
It's a job. Yes we love the kids, but when it comes down to it, they aren't ours... and it's just a job!

Anonymous said...

but after the fact, the nanny is gone and doesn't want to come back- - yet you want her back? give it up, learn from this experience so as to not have a repeat of this situation (she didn't sound all that great to me)

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 1 has a point, OP. This nanny didn't sound like an irreplaceable gem of a nanny anyway. You weren't all that happy with her either.
Your kids will adjust.
I usually had one favorite and beloved sitter at a time. Everybody in our family got quite attached to each of them. One went on to nursing school and moved away. The next took a nanny job in the then town that worked perfectly wiht her school schedule and budgetary needs. (We only used the sitter ocassionally, so working for us was not a living by any means.)The last one lasted until th ekids were old enough to babysit themselve. The kids adjusted very well each time we had to move on. Its just a part of life.

Anonymous said...

Tell the children what WE ALL tell the children. "Rhonda, Shanika, Josetta, Paula, Sasha, Bernice, Tiffanee, etc. went back to her country."

Don't you realize how many children have lost their nannies to this "casualty"?

When in realty they were most likely fired miserably by the bitch ass punks they mistakenly came to work for.

Such is life.

Whitey still rules the roost.
Wait for Obama.

The tides a turning.

Soon, we shall revolt.
Rise up
and speak to you,

WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY
INTO THE NIGHT

Anonymous said...

Congratulations

Anonymous said...

Newsflash-

For those of us with whole hearts, those of us with whole hearts who care for children; it can never just be a job, because in short time we will fall head over heels in love with your children. Memories of them will haunt us for our whole lives through, even the good ones will be bitter sweet, because it is true- they are not our children, but that doesn't mean some of us don't invest in them as if they were; and for those of us who do, it doesn't make us bad people for loving and caring for your children SO much. In fact, we might just be the ones who teach your children what real love is.

Anonymous said...

BO
You are exactly the reason why it would be scary to have a black President. Instead of thinking our Country was moving forward, people like you drag it back 50 years by your ignorant comments. But guess what, dumbass? Obama is more white than McCain is, or haven't you noticed?

Anonymous said...

Bo must be getting paid by the McCain/Palin campaign. You make a good ho, Bo!

Anonymous said...

OP,

Sorry to pile on, but you did say "...To quit her employment in such as passive, aggressive and hostile manner, with no regard for my children is unconsionable."

Your first mistake is to think your children's feelings are the only ones that got hurt or the only ones that matter.

I can't speak for her, but I know that if I had to leave my job because of differences with the parents, I would be sad and hurt too. I would miss the kids and felt like I had lost friends as well.

Obviously she was hurt and had every right to put herself before you and your kids.

Anonymous said...

OP,
WHAT did you decide to do?
PLEASE update us.
We are all eager to know.

Personally, I think the commenters were too tough on you. Yes, you mispoke when you flipped out about the money, but we all have those moments. Unless Rhonda never makes mistakes, I don't think it is right what she did.

She also took the cowards way out. If her point in quitting was to say, "who are you to talk like that to me", why wouldn't she just tell you. If someone did that to me, I would be pissed but I would let them know. I would not be polite about it either.

The world is uncertain enough. Who needs surprises. What would she have lost if she told you to your face that you hurt her and you were completely wrong? I think she would have felt empowered and maybe you would have had the opportunity to make it up to her.

So to all you nannies out there who quit without notice, I know a lot of you work for difficult people, but why slither away? Especially if you are right, let them know what you think.

I quit a job once. I didn't slither away. I was communicative and tried to work with the mother. I told her the house was too disorganized, she was inconsistent with the discipline which was completely unfair to the children and their behavior was a reflection of her parenting. I did say it in the nicest possible way.

She got completely pissed and said, "well it's my house and my family, if you don't like it, leave".

I said, "I respect that, but I wanted to know that these were problems that prevent me from being a great nanny".

She was completely pissed and it took two months before she finally gave me my last paycheck.

I'm not going to be 90 years old sitting in a rocking chair whittling munchkins out of bars of discount soap and wishing I had the balls to speak up when I was 20.

No regrets.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

"As for Ronda, I sent her a text message and told her that I told the girls she was dead.

Vengeance is mine...."


Lady..... you are sick. To tell your Children that someone they once loved was messed up in the head, and then to tell that Nanny that she was as good as dead to them? You have a real mean, cruel streak in you!
I think Ronda got out just in the nick of time!

Anonymous said...

Sick!! Why would you tell your children that? You need help.

Anonymous said...

OMG. Just OMG.
I thought this was a misunderstanding before...but Rhonda probably didn't answer your calls for a reason. Maybe some of them were for reasonable things,like to bring a swimsuit...but I suspect you may have been a teensy bit difficult to deal on other occasions...which would make her want to have a peaceful "you-free" environment on her time off.

If you are really so worried about how your children perceive people, and the loss of relationships...you might want to think about your example to them. It doesn't sound healthy from your update.

OMG!

Anonymous said...

YOU DID ACCUSE HER!

When she answered "I NEVER shop there" I OBVIOUSLY take that as SHE never shops there- as in for HERSELF! The attitude you took and apparent tone was ACCUSATORY! Lady you just don't get it. You're entire post and update speaks to your attitude, which stinks. I think it's safe to assume that this was the last straw and she just could not take anymore.

I had a relative speak about a serious situation regarding my son in an accusatory tone, there was more to it but even though she was wrong, she didn't seem very sorry about how she reacted and as result, I have not spoken to here since (7 months) and will NEVER allow my child to be in her presence again. I have NEVER been so offended in my life, FOR my son as well as myself.

You are incapable of being responsible for your actions as you deny and rewrite history to suit your needs. Completely self centered. I seriously feel bad for your poor children.

Grow up.

Anonymous said...

PS I never really bought that you needed to call her incessantly on vacation simply because you wanted the card number. All you had to do was alert your bank that the card was being misused and that you wanted it cancelled. They have the number in their computer. They will cancel it based on your identifying information alone (which I'm sure you also know full well), because once you alert them to potential fraud, they have to reimburse you if they allow its continued use (whch you also know.) That could have been done immediately and your sleuthing could have been done after the fact, when Rhonda was back at home and under your thumb again.

I'm sure Rhonda is aware of all that also. Do you understand now why your repeated calls constituted an accusation, counselor? That's why Rhonda quit...and why she didn't want to see you again. I can just see her trying to relax at the beach and getting those messages...and her boyfriend saying, "This lady is nuts. You're never setting foot in that place again."

Anonymous said...

Well, Atleast now we understand why Rhonda was not answering her phone when our op was calling.

She most likely loved her charges and muttled through everyday just for their sake. No doubt she realized what a cold and callous woman they have for a mother.

As for the swimming incident and many others that I am sure happened. Here is an idea..PLAN AHEAD..you and grandma need to make plans ahead of time so that people know what to expect. I am sure your nanny,like the rest of us,have a general idea of our weekly plans a week ahead of time and act accordingly. With a mornings notice I bet your children would have been ready to swim!
I hope you find a wonderful nanny and soon because despite the fact that YOU do not deserve it, the sooner your children are being cared for by a loving,compassionate mommy type, the better.
Your poor,poor children.
I hope that they turn out nothing like you as young women.

The reason you chose to lie to your girls and your nanny was not vengence..it was that you are the kind of female who is unable to admit when you are wrong. You are unable to face people and tell the truth unless it makes you the victor/heroe.
How sad to be such an insecure female with no confidence that you use others to make yourself feel important. Your children will no doubt suffer the most.

Please hire a new nanny..NOW!! Your girls are in desperate need!

Anonymous said...

OP
Now that we have a better impression of what you are really like - in my opinion you may make an excellent attorney, but a very shitty mom.
Why on this earth would you say something like that to your children?

Anonymous said...

I defended you somewhat before...


no longer.

You're kids are going to grow up to be little bitches, just like their mommy, if you keep that shit up.

Something screwed up in her head? Takes one to know one.

I wish people knew who you were so no one in their right mind would consider wasting their time with your family. I'd consider it a positive to be dead to you. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you Mom. But could you imagine Ronda's side to this story?! I would PAY to hear it!

Anonymous said...

Damn, BLB. Excellent post!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I would also love to hear Rhonda's side.

This is like one of those times (I'm sure we've all had them) where you are trapped having a one on one conversation with somebody (usually somebody you just met, don't know well, or is connected to your business...because you would never want to be their actual friend) and they are going on and on about some horrible situation or incident, detail for detail...only the whole time all you can think to yourself is "I wonder what that poor other person was thinking when this lady here in front of me was being such unreasonable bitch?" And the unreasonable bitch in front of you is looking for sympathy or support for her position...but all you can manage to do is nod uncomfortably and offer up a few comments like, "Oh my gosh, that's terrible"...knowing she doesn't realize you are talking about her and not the poor person she first victimized and is now badmouthing to boot.

Victoria Anne said...

Lady, you are certifiably nuts. Seek help before you pass these despicable traits onto your children.

kathleencares said...

I really hope you are joking about telling your kids she is dead.

Anonymous said...

OP, it is clear that for some reason Ronda had trouble communicating with you. What's the story with your mother btw? There is some weird triangle here.
You also have to accept that no matter how good you think you were to Ronda, Ronda had the right to think otherwise. When you hire someone in your family, you have to accept the fact that they may
not be happy with you and not take it personally.
You sound very angry. You need to calm down, figure out why you are so upset, and... let it go.

Anonymous said...

She didn't say she told the children Rhonda was dead, she said she told Rhonda that is what she did.

Calm down, killahs.

Anonymous said...

Thanks WTF. That was nice of you to say!

Anonymous said...

I caught that too Joe d but she did tell the one child that "Rhonda was Screwed up in the head"..what a nut job....

paperbagprincess said...

I agree that the 'had a screw loose' explanation to the kids was not such a good idea. Isn't this going to confuse them? And also make them wonder how someone they trusted and loved could just 'turn' screwy? It doesn't sit well with me, I could see this making them feeling a little insecure and wondering whether they can really trust others, AND their own judgment.

UmassSlytherin said...

OP when I read your update all I could think was...is this really the original poster???

OP, if this is you, I have to say that I need to retract one of my previous statements. When I said I did not think you were evil? I changed my mind.

You have no idea how to speak to a small child in an appropriate manner.

God help your daughter. No wonder your nanny quit!

UmassSlytherin said...

p.s. this really makes me lose respect for lawyers.

UNIDAD said...

You are one sick puppy. I stand by my original thoughts - KUDOS TO RONDA! I remember saying that you came on here looking for sympathy - and you did, now again you want us to side with you. You make it very difficult to even read your post as you sound like such an egomaniac it's not even funny. Again KUDOS TO RONDA for getting out from under YOUR THUMB~!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I feel so bad that you are tainting your children.

Sounds like they almost had a chance in hell of turning out to be normal and well adjusted. . . too bad that went out the door with your nanny.

Wake up, OP. There's a reason all of us sound outraged and shocked over YOUR behavior. Yes yours. What others do or don't do or should've done or shouldn't have done, doesn't mean that you have an excuse to act innappropriately.

Anonymous said...

Awww Umass,
Don't hate the lawyers. My husband is one...and he's an honest one. Although I do freely admit to knowing others who cheat on their hours, overbill, or are pampous egomaniacs...I also know some really great, salt of the earth people who are lawyers. Coming from a family of lawyers, and having married one myself, I know A LOT of lawyers. Just like people in any profession, I admire the ones who are good people and have no respect for those with shady ethics or overblown egos, either personally or professionally.

And shame on lawyers who bring shame to the entire profession by not acting the way they ought to! They are held to a higher standard legally by our country (did you know they can lose their licenses to practice law for commiting a crime, even if it has nothing to do with their profession whatsoever?) They hold a special duty and an honor that they should respect and uphold with dignity at all times...just like police officers or any other person in a position to be a public servant. If you don't have the guts to rise to the occasion, stay out of the law business, IMO...because it casts shame and mistrust on those who don't deserve it right alongside those who do. (That's not advice for OP...just in general my feeling about lawyers, police officers, etc.)

Anonymous said...

Using the fact that you are an attorney to garner respect is unfortunate, given the feeling most people have regarding attorneys, many of whom are among the sleaziest, meanest, and most despicable characters in our society. That said, let's move on to your other outrageous comments. Rhonda did the right thing by leaving your employ and I don't believe for one minute that the tone you used in your inquiries about the debit card weren't condescending and accusatory, just as are the comments in your follow up post.

I agree that is respectful and professional to give a two week notice when leaving a job, but in certain cases, that can be waived and I feel as though this one fits. It seems as though she simply had enough of you and your superior and spiteful nature, which also resonates throughout your comments, and couldn't bear suffering one more day in your employ. It's too bad about your children. They certainly didn't benefit by your claim that their nanny wasn't right in the head. Methinks it's someone else who's not right in the head, and unfortunately, your children are doomed to deal with that dreadful fate for a very long time.

UmassSlytherin said...

I know Mom. It is important to trust your lawyer. Believe me, recently I have had to depend on mine. :)

I'm sure your husband is awesome: he has to be to be married to someone as nice as you! :)
xoxo

Anonymous said...

So you just played into the stereotypical lawyer...lie, lie, lie to get what you want. You give lawyers a bad name.

I'm sure it was ethical of you to lie to your children and nanny. Go ahead and try to compare your job with the nanny's job. It just makes you all the more sleazy.

You are a heartless bitch and you deserve any and everything you get. The sad part of it all are your children. They didn't ask to be born to such a hateful, spiteful mother but they will be stuck with you for the rest of their lives. I hope you make good money because you will be paying for therapy bills if the kids don't end up in jail because of their upbringing.

Deni said...
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Anonymous said...

Your poor children.

Passive aggressive until she doesn't get the reaction she wants. Then she turns downright loopy and cruel. OP, Ronda may have her faults, as we all do, but judging from the tone of your update, you sound like an impossible person to even be friends with, nevermind work for.

In a black and white world, I agree that not picking up the phone during non-working hours is a bit shady and irresponsible, especially considering the close, personal nature the employee has with the employer in nanny type jobs. It's wrong to quit by just picking up and leaving and yes, normal work ethic dictates that. In a black and white world, inquiring about unknown charges would be a normal thing to do. We don't live in a black and white world though. There are grey areas, variables and personalities that add a whole new dimension. OP, you sound snobby, elitist and phony. And I don't even know you! It's obvious to me (and 99 percent of the commenters on here) just from reading your post. If all of us can see this clearly, I can't even imagine what Ronda must have had to deal with, knowing you on the level she did. Her actions (no phone calls, hasty departure, going on the defensive) were obviously a REaction to you...On the surface, the things she did were less than professional, but scratch away a little and it's clear that she really DID get out just in time and handled YOU the only sane way she knew how.

Anonymous said...

You actually used the fact that she gives a damn about how your kids feel, even at the expense of their very emotional well being, to punish her for taking her neck out from under your foot? And you are bragging about it here? Bragging that she will be hurt by the thought of your children being traumatized while you, their mother, are willing to harm them yourself just to "win?"

Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back OP.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Wow... you're quite the manipulative passive aggressive bitch. Your children love the woman and you tell her you told them she was dead. Brava. Way to be a bitch.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Sadly, I bet that Rhonda doesn't even care about what your children think. Good luck to her trying to find someone who is as generous as you.

Anonymous said...

Why do I almost get the sense that the OP is trying to get revenge on us by telling us what she told the kids? As she initially asked us what she should say . . . and almost sounded as if she wanted to be decent about it...and then since our reaction was not quite "OMG you poor mom...", she's getting her jollies out of a "hmph. you're not nice to me . . .and I'll do something you just think is terrible."

Anonymous said...

Wow Jersey. Definitely one of your best posts yet!

Anonymous said...

Holy crap you are a bitch. "Vengeance is mine..." Seriously? You are acting like a child.

I would totally quit if you were my boss. I just left a situation where I tried to give notice but my boss started to verbally attack me my last two weeks on the job, Ronda did good by leaving without notice. I have no doubt by how you just wrote your last post that you would have made Ronda miserable her last two weeks. She should be glad she does not have to put up with you any longer.

And to tell your child these things is pretty dumb.There are a lot of other ways to tell your children that your nanny left without being a complete bitch.

And for an attorney you sound very unprofessional. Yes as an attorney you have to represent your client no matter if you want to, but that is very different from being a nanny.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, you're nuts. Get some help.

Anonymous said...

Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Not hot, warmish, tepid or steaming, but cold.

Just ask my employer who just about to settle into what she thinks may be calm tranquility is about to get the shock of her life.

Many thanks in advance to the Village Voice for finding my story so interesting and worth telling.

And now you know.

Anonymous said...

I honestly tried to be objective as I read your post and I even tried to see your point of view without jumping to conclusions. But the end of your post was very disturbing. You seem really bothered by what others think of you and it really reasonates deep within you. That is sad. You should just take things with a grain of salt. But the ending is the part that scared me and I have to say you really are not a good parent if you would lie to your children's face like that. To tell them the nanny died....if they were close to her and all, that could be traumatic for them to absorb. You are a parent, why would you want to intentionally traumatize your own children? There is enough of that they will have to experience in thier own lives...why start at such a young age? When if you ran into her at the local store? How would you explain that to them then? It's not the same as telling them there is no Santa Claus.
I am glad I am not Ronda. She really is the true victim in all this, along with your children and I hope this bad experience does not hinder her career aspirations in the nanny field. There are many good families out there and just one bad apple....well I better stop now....you did say "Vengence is yours.." with that mindset, I better stop now while I am ahead.
Enough said.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Umass. I love you!

? Please explain. I just got back from the gym and even my thinker is worn out. Are you the nanny in question? But I still have just enough brain cells on high alert that I am very curious.

PS OP, my husband thinks you sound batty...but a little less so than the dog masturbator, if that makes you feel any better.

Anonymous said...

?..Curiousity got the better of me. I googled the Village Voice..I then entered many words into the search box..nothing..

Give us a few more clues..you have peaked my curiousity..no that is not true,actaully, I am just nosey! Tee-hee

The paper was interesting though..to say the least!

Anonymous said...

mom, you are so funny.(dog masturbator) LOL...And how different how husbands think..mine would take the "dog wisperer" over the crazy loon any day..men are funny huh?

I think this op must have a miserable life and those around her must too. How very sad!

Deni said...

? Inquiring minds want to know!

Anonymous said...

So you told your daughter, "Ronda doesn't want to work for us anymore". She will hear that as, Ronda doesn't want to take care of YOU anymore. "She is "screwed up in the head". must mean she didn't really love you.
You let this become all about you, and your anger and vindictiveness to the extent that you don't even care about the feelings of your own child!

Anonymous said...

OP as a professional nanny I agreed and still agree Rhonda was unprofessional to quit without notice.

But YOU are screwed up in the head, my dear please get help.

Anonymous said...

blb,
I love you too.

And MPP too.

Lots of really great ladies on this site.

Anonymous said...

blb,

And to answer your earlier point...men are nuts sometimes.

I'm hoping my husband will want to bypass them both and keep me instead. (So don't tell him about the fish and hermit crab...I told him they ran away...hehehe)

Anonymous said...

Yes OP you are most definitely not right in your head and to tell the children such a story shows exactly the kind of person you really are.

I believe you have lied in this post about all that has happened to make yourself look good. A good attorney would have no reason to request assistance from annoymous writers.

Is this what you do with your job. Call on faceless people to assist you in making decisions. I feel truly sorry for your girls and most definitely advise you to seek some help.

In this issue the nanny was wrong in some areas, but you my dear, are entirely wrong.....

Please dont harm the kids any further

Anonymous said...

"Many thanks in advance to the Village Voice for finding my story so interesting and worth telling.

And now you know."
6:50 PM



What in the hell are you talking about? Are you some troll trying to stir the pot?

Anonymous said...

"To tell them the nanny died....if they were close to her and all, that could be traumatic for them to absorb."


I can't believe you guys are going to make me stick up for OP, but she did NOT tell the children the nanny died. She called and left a message on the nannies phone telling HER that's what she told the children (still fucked up, though).
To the kids, she told THEM that the nanny was screwed up in the head, and that's why she left (STILL really fucked up).

Bottom line? OP is screwed up in the head, a terrible employer and a really sorry excuse for a mother.

Anonymous said...

Well I just assumed if she said she was going to tell the children the nanny had died that she would have just done so. She never indicated she would do otherwise in her post. Plus, honestly someone who would even text that to someone after they did nothing but give her children love and care is not very mature. That sounds like a prank a middle-schooler would do. I understand she must be angry, but that is very low to stoop.
It is unprofessional to quit without notice, but I think the nanny realized what type of person her employer was and maybe knew something deep inside that we didn't know until after the last post....that the woman is not very emotionally stable (to put it mildly) and maybe what she wrote in the text was something she may have secretly been wishing for awhile and just waited until she was pushed to the edge to verbalize it.

Good Luck Ronda on your next position. There are nice and stable families out there.

Anonymous said...

omg mom..you are killin' me//'told him they ran away..you really should be writing all this down! Too funny!

I agree..there are alot of wonderful ladies here.
I am still holding out for a luncheon some day!

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

BLB & Mom (love you, too!),
I am so looking forward to that Luncheon! lol
I hope to see all of the "wonderful Ladies" there! :)

Anonymous said...

Without having read all the other comments, I can only say OP: You are one sick puppy and I feel very sorry for anyone who has to be around you for longer than 90 seconds. If this is how you wig out about your nanny leaving your employ, I cringe to think of what your poor husband must go through on a daily basis and I have to wonder if he is counting the minutes until he walks away from YOU.

Why in the hell didn't it occur to you or your mother to call Ronda the day grandma decided to take the kids swimming? Why freak out because you couldn't reach her during her off hours, let alone why couldn't you both get your sh*t together enough to plan ahead so you could have talked to Ronda about the swimming WHILE SHE WAS AT WORK the day before, instead of at your convenience, AFTER she was off work for the day?

Congratulations to her for getting out of your toxic space and to the new family who is now getting the benefit of having her to help them. I just hope you get some help before it's too late, and that your poor kids don't get completely destroyed by your mental issues.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I'm not Rhonda

Anonymous said...

OP, you are nuts. I pity the next nanny who works for you.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I am appalled at this post, and I'm glad you came back OP, since I read your update and re-read your original post over and over again, along with everyone's comments.

As an attorney OP, you lack people skills. Rhonda is entitled to her off time, which is her free time, and free of harassment by you. Exactly what is your problem other than being a mean, coldhearted. fingerpointing employer that you needed to harass Rhonda during her off time and her vacation? Can you not handle the roles of power attorney, nasty employer and bad mother that you have call your nanny too much? Perhaps Rhonda saw your true colors and opted not to answer the phone because working for you was too stressful. She would look at the phone and laugh, clicking the ignore key and sending your call to voicemail. I could just imagine what working for you would be like:

You: "Danielle, I got _______________ and I know you did it. Don't try to hide it, either....."

Me:(your employee) "I didn't do _____________. I would never do
that to you......"

Hmmmm....after 3 years with you, I would feel the same way Rhonda did. I would've done the same thing, and wouldn't have even bothered with a letter or resignation.

OP, I worked for someone just like you. She accused me of stealing her checkbook. Out of all the employees, I was the last one called into the office, and was questioned the longest. Her theory that I stole her checkbook was that I was the last person in the office, and that someone happened to go to her bank and attempt to cash a check on my day off. So did that make me guilty? No, because I knew I was telling the truth. I didn't work for her very long, and I quit my job without notice, and I really didn't care if she liked it or not. No matter how long you are someone's employee, being accused of something you didn't do and being treated in the manner that you treated Rhonda would drive anyone to resign. And for you to tell your girls that Rhonda died? That's downright inappropriate. I hope Rhonda sees this site and posts her side of the story. I, Danielle, find you GUILTY of being giving attorneys a bad name, ruining the profession of attorneys, harassing and accusing your nanny of something that was your fault, not understanding what a vacation or off time is, expecting your nanny to be on call whenever you cry like a spoiled brat, being a horrible employer, a bad mother, less than desireable role model for your children, and for not appreciating nannies. How do you plead counselor?

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Not a park slope nanny :-)

Anonymous said...

This was very disturbing to read. To brag about wanting or getting vengeance is pitiful.

Anonymous said...

OP, I was on your side before I read this.
But you are sick. You told your kids that Rhonda DIED all of a sudden?! WTF is wrong with you??!
You couldn't have said something like "Rhonda won't be working with us anymore because she needed to go work for someone else, but she'll miss you." ??
Think of your kids lady..

Anonymous said...

OP,

You are the one messed up in the head to be playing these games with your former nanny and children!

What a witch! I am glad your nanny left you. You must have been an awful employer to work for!

Anonymous said...

What a wack job!! Oh, I'm talking about YOU by the way.. You text the woman and tell her you told your daughter she was dead?? Get a grip!

Anonymous said...

I think ? is Ronda and that Village Voice will be publishing a story on this mini-saga shortly . . .

Anonymous said...

Well, if Rhonda is the author of the post it would take away tons of credibility for me.
Anybody can write form the perspective of somebody else and make out like she's a real bitch.

I would think a legitimate publication would shy away from the story if that were the case.

Anonymous said...

Wow OP,
I was on your side in your OP. Other than the fact that you had little respect for your nannie's personal time, I felt that you had bent over backwards to keep this woman in your life. I felt that you had gone above and beyond the responsibilities of your relationship to her to help her out. Most of all I felt that her behavior was an over reaction and that it was unprofesional, ungrateful, immature, and (true to the impression you gave of her) slightly trashy.
Then THIS follow up!! Wow. I was with you all the way up to the end. Have you considered how insecure your child must have felt upon hearing that their trusted and loved care giver and friend has "something screwed up in her head", and "doesn't want to work for us anymore"? Your kid is siding with you on the outside, but inside she's wondering how many more people in her life that she trusts and loves will dissapear suddenly because they "have something screwed up in her head". Way to let your selfish anger and offenses get in the way of your parenting skils there. I just don't get that.... like people who put their kids in the middle of divorce fights.... Really?

Anonymous said...

Mom
Bebo means that ?/6:50 is Ronda. Not the author of this entire post.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh...wouldn't that be rich? Rhonda, if oyu are here, be sure to let us know if your side of the story becomes available for us to read, OK?

Anonymous said...

Just FYI, OP, your SECOND post makes you sound even more controlling and crazy than your first. I feel deeply sorry for your children, and for all the nannies, and I assume there will be a LOT of them, to follow this one. Get help for yourself - you sound scary and unbalanced and in need of mental health care.

Anonymous said...

Appalled said...
So you told your daughter, "Ronda doesn't want to work for us anymore". She will hear that as, Ronda doesn't want to take care of YOU anymore. "She is "screwed up in the head". must mean she didn't really love you.

This is the thing. I tried to make suggestions for you, OP, in my earlier post. I think you should try to correct what you told your kids. This is very important. It's fine to tell them Rhonda is having problems, or something like that. Telling them she turned screwy or that she doesn't want to work for your family will affect them negatively. They will see this explanation as "Rhonda doesn't love us anymore." You should assure them very clearly that she still loves them, because this is surely what they are thinking.

As for the "vengeance is mine," I thought that was a joke. I'm surprised I'm the only one.

Anonymous said...

if you have gone through this situation once then learn from it so that you can't fall yourself under such situation again..... find out a good nanny and pay her instead of the older one

Anonymous said...
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That One Girl said...

So this isn't entirely the same situation, but here's my anecdote.

I was working a summer job a few years ago, saving up for a semester abroad (and working as a nanny on weekends). The job I was working was a thankless one and involved a lot of customer service and interacting with difficult, difficult tourists.

My manager was kind of hardcore most of the time, none of the other employees really liked her. She did things like making a huge fuss over the color of our khakis or forcing you to steam your uniform during breaks if she saw even the SLIGHTEST of wrinkles. I hated my job but I needed the money and so I kept working.

One day, I was working in a booth where we held luggage for customers who were in between parts of their journey. So if someone arrived at 12pm but had another trip at 4pm, we'd keep their luggage until 4pm. One customer apparently dropped off a bag full of jewelry and other pricey goods at this little booth, and went on her merry way (she didn't tell the person who was working the booth at the time that there was precious cargo, we only found out later). A couple days later, my manager calls me and 2 other employees into her office and accuses us of stealing jewelry from this passenger.

All of us said we didn't do it, the manager refused to believe us and for the next week or so, was increasingly rude to us. Finally, the customer calls back, after threatening to file a police report regarding me and my co-workers, she FOUND her jewelry in one of her other pieces of luggage. Neither she nor my manager offered an apology. I was scheduled for a vacation around this time, and my manager started making a fuss about me taking the time. She also spent a lot of time double-checking all the money I would take in from cash sales and checking my bags when I left each day. I ended up quitting my job from the airport.

This is just a long way of saying that I doubt that this one incident was enough for her to quit with no notice. It was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

Anonymous said...

Jane Doe, you wrote, "As for what I told my children, well, I’m in the fortunate position of being able to write the history here. I told Raquel last night that Ronda didn’t want to work for us anymore, that I tried calling her, but she would not answer. I told her that she got something screwed up in her head, but not to worry, we would make new friends who didn’t have something screwed up in their head. Raquel agreed that she didn’t need a friend with something screwed up in their head.

As for Ronda, I sent her a text message and told her that I told the girls she was dead.

Vengeance is mine...."


Um, are you kidding? Are you a grown woman or a petulant 13-year-old? Oh, never mind... no need to answer that.

Anonymous said...

Hey Nada!
Jane Doe is the OWNER of this blog - NOT the person who wrote that post! All Jane Doe did was PUT IT UP for the person who did write it!
Duh.

neva_eva_always said...

Your update says you told them she was screwed in the head when you CLEARLY stated that you were. If you're not paying her phone then you have NO FREAKING right to demand she answer YOUR calls. If I'm not at work I'm not answering calls from work. That's what voice messages are for and not for yelling at her for not talking to you. I would've quit after the accusations started not a week later and she was RIGHT. I hope your husband sees what a screwey looey mother his poor defenseless children have and kicks you to the curb and gets a proper nanny for them that you have NO say about. They need stability not a mother who can't do crap for herself and blames the nanny even after she finds out she was wrong.