31 July, 2008

Have you seen me?

Update:
7/31/08


Mother Begs Rockefeller: 'Please, Please Bring "Snooks" Home'
Reigh Boss May Not Even Know She's Been Kidnapped
Man Accused Of Kidnapping Daughter Possibly Seen In Del.
FBI: Father May Have Disguised Missing Girl as Boy

UPDATE:
7/30/08
Ipswich woman unknowingly aids in Kidnapping BOSTON -- An Ipswich woman who told police Clark Rockefeller paid her $500 to drive him from Boston to New York City says she had no idea the man was allegedly kidnapping his 7-year-old daughter. Aileen Ang, a family friend of Rockefeller, told WBZ-AM he asked her to pick him up Sunday at the Boston Sailing Club. When she arrived, Ang said Rockefeller's daughter, Reigh, was with him. During the ride, Ang said the girl seemed happy, telling her father she loved him. Rockefeller responding that he loved her even more. After she dropped them off, Ang said she learned an Amber Alert had been issued in Massachusetts and immediately called police. Boston police have said Ang and another driver who helped Rockefeller were unwittingly involved in the alleged kidnapping. (Read Clark Rockefeller had planned abduction for six months.)

Original Story:
7/29/09
reigh rockefeller 2
A divorced father with a murky background snatched his 7-year-old daughter during a supervised weekend visit and may be trying to flee the country on a 72-foot yacht, police say. Boston police said Tuesday they had no new information on the whereabouts of Clark Rockefeller, 48, or his daughter, Reigh Boss. Authorities alleged that Rockefeller, who they said has used several aliases, grabbed the girl Sunday during a visit supervised by a social worker and fled in a sport utility vehicle driven by another man. (Read more.)

Anyone with information regarding this incident is asked to contact the Boston Police by calling 911 or District D-4 detectives at (617) 343-4683. Individuals wishing to report information anonymously may do so by calling CrimeStoppers at 1-800-494-TIPS or texting 'TIPS' to CRIME (27463).

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Jack Johnson- Times Like These, (for LK)
Are you looking for old sightings or sightings in your area? Check the I Saw Your Nanny Index page where you will find sightings indexed by state and Perspective & Opinion posts indexed by month.

We want to hear about your life as a nanny, send in your personal experiences now.

30 July, 2008

"Nanny Dreams"

Received Wednesday, July 30, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I've cared for children for over 15 years and been a full-time nanny for about 6 of those. Over my professional history I've experienced what I call, "Nanny Dreams". I know that they're classic anxiety dreams, so I don't really need anyone to psychoanalyze them for me, but I would be interested to know if any other nannies have experienced this phenomena.

For the most part I experience these dreams during the day, usually on a weekend or while I'm on vacation and taking a light nap. They're never the same in content, but the theme is always the same: I'm neglecting the children. For example, I'll dream that a young charge and I are out at the park, I'll meet a friend and go off shopping with them, leaving the child behind. Then I'll realize what I've done and spend the rest of the dream frantically looking for the child. I usually wake up with a start and still believe the dream is true. I sit up in bed and am about to rush off to search for the child when I realize that I'm in Hawaii and the kids are thousands of miles away, safe with their parents.

Maybe these dreams are unique to me, because I also had similar ones when I was a waitress, except they had to do with not having brought people their food. But, I am curious to know, has anyone else had dreams like these?

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us photo by Nancy Lehrer
Bored? Check out Jane's Favorite Daddy Bloggers
The Sneeze
Dad Gone Mad
Clark Kent's Lunch Box
Joe Prah
Busy Dad Blog

A Very Picky Eater...

Received Wednesday, July 30, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Hey everybody! MissDee here and I have a problem concerning a child in my class. After a week of observation, this is starting to concern me, and I'm not sure what to do. I have talked to my director, and I'm not sure what to say to the parents. Anyone who has parented or cared for a child under 2 knows that children of this age may have certain foods they like, and sometimes toddlers go in stages with food and eating in general. What is the best way to handle a child who won't eat all day, only to eat snack @ 3p? I have a child who does this-they may eat breakfast at the center in the morning, won't touch lunch, and will eat snack, wanting more. Last week this child ate breakfast one morning, had one bite of lunch, and ate snack every afternoon-this was the amount of food eaten in a week, compared to the rest of my class. Yesterday my assistant teacher had to feed this child yogurt, by placing a small bite in the child's mouth and the
child liked it. Other foods the child refuses to eat, and because they don't eat, they haven't pooped for me in a week. Forcing a child to eat at any age isn't appropriate, because it can set up eating disorders. I am concerned about this child, given what little food they ate last week, and that we eat am snack at 845a, lunch at 1145a, and snack at 300p. This particular child goes for eight hours without food-one day last week, they didn't eat all day, and sometimes this happens, too. Eating habits similar to this child's can also lead to overeating. My director thinks it's a phase, I think she is right, but I also think this child isn't exposed to new foods at home. Any advice?

29 July, 2008

Prospect Park in Brooklyn, New York

Received Tuesday, July 29, 2008.
nanny sighting logo There were 3 nannys. Six kids. Prospect Park, today around 2pm. At one point, one of the nannies tells-er, yells at, the two little boys in the picture to go pee by the tree..apparently because she's too damned lazy to walk them to the bathroom. So they both proceed to pull down their pants and underpants *to their ankles* and piss right in the open all over the shady tree area that people come to lay down and have picnics on. In fact, this picture was taken right after this happened, so the kids proceeded to play in their own piss after flapping themselves in the breeze. Nice.
park slope nannys charges
park slope nannies 1

Childcare Ad...Found on Gawker....

"This job is very nontraditional in the sense that my kids are older and still need someone to "parent" them 24/7. My oldest son will be starting his first year at Columbia in the fall and will not be around much, but, will probably still need support. Picking up his dry cleaning, if he needs anything for his apartment, scheduling doctor appointments, anything to help him and his daily life run smoothly"?! (You'll also be "interfacing with" the family's assistants.)
Gawker has the full ad here, because the original ad on Craig's list has apparently been flagged.
Thanks to AL.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008.


Update on the Search for Caylee:
Lee Anthony's phone call to his Sister Casey
Help Find Caylee

Update:
7/30/08

A local photographer has released pictures of Casey Anthony that were taken early in the morning June 21, just one week after Casey said her daughter went missing. (View Nightclub Photos of Casey Anthony.)

28 July, 2008

Another Child Forgotten in a Vehicle...

I thought you might be interested in this story, Infant Dies in Closed Vehicle Outside Day Care, to remind us all that the gify of life is so precious. This story breaks my heart and at the same time, makes me angry that someone could do something so stupid, as to leave a child in this situation. Often times we may be in a hurry in our day to day lives, but are we in that much of a hurry that we endanger a child's life and safety?
Love ya tons,
-MissDee

See Also:
Child Left in Car Dies on mother's Wedding Day
Grand Jury Indicts Parents in Death of their 4 Year Old
Child dies after being left in hot van
Mother who left children alone in stolen car under investigation by DCF
Workers Rescue Baby in Hot Car
Woman Charged With Child Abandonment
( All of these stories are from this week. )

It is never appropriate to leave any infant or toddler unattended in a vehicle for even a few minutes. When the temperature is high, a few minutes are all it takes to raise temperatures to lethal levels in a sealed car. If your child is in Daycare, make sure to alert your daycare center that you will always call if your child is not going to be attending that day. -JD

Beware of Rabid Nannies at Pierrepont Playground in NYC

Received Monday, July 28, 2008
I had the displeasure of being verbally assaulted by 2 nannies at Pierrepont playground in Brooklyn Heights. The incident started shortly after I sat down on the bench next to them. As I was getting my dbs out of the stroller I noticed a 2-2.5yo blond girl strapped in a black bugaboo who was leaning forward trying to get out. I wouldn't have been concerned but she was straining so hard she could have brought the stroller down on top of her. I saw her do this as I sat down and I was behind her and saw the back wheels lift up. (and it was a bugaboo. Those don't lift that easily!)

Regardless, I decided to myob and got my children out. Before going after them I stopped a download on my cell that my youngest had randomly started.

As we went to the monkey bars I heard the nannies start screaming that someone had taken a picture of the girl who was belted in the stroller. When I looked over they were pointing at me.
As I went back over to them to clear things up they were getting out of hand.

Another nanny, who's charges were having a *playdate* with the girl who was strapped in the stroller started taking pictures of me and shouting. All the children around us were terrified. The woman called more nannies around her and started screaming profanities at me...in front of her charges and many others.

The nanny who had the girl in the black bug wore a hot pink t shirt and was heavy set.She insisted that the girl strapped herself in the stroller and indeed, that's where she wanted to be. (the girl was blond, 2.5ish and pretty but looked sad.. there was a brown leather handbag in the bottom of the stroller.

The nanny she was with was a little older and very loud. She felt it was appropriate to ACTUALLY take phone videos of me despite her misguided horror at my non-photo. She is the one who scared my children and me the most.

These nannies left but not without yelling at a few people on their way out.

Nanny pays her own way....

Received Monday, July 28, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I'm a nanny for a fabulous family. I love their children and they've always been generous to me on holidays and my birthday. The problem? Whenever I take the children somewhere - the zoo, aquarium, a museum, or any other activity that charges an admission fee - their mother thinks that she only needs to reimburse me for the children's admission. I feel that since I'm working while I take the children to these different areas, that the family is responsible for my admission. I mean, it's not like I'd be going to the childrens zoo all on my own every other week. How can I approach this with their mother? Or am I wrong, and should I just leave this be? Again, otherwise I am 100% completely content with my job and don't have another complaint in the world. Thanks!

Monday, July 28, 2008.

Duran Duran - Come Undone
Caylee Anthony Update:
Prayer Vigil held for Caylee
Casey Anthony's Arrest Affidavit

Your thoughts?

27 July, 2008

A Cheap Cheap Here and A Cheap Cheap There

Received Sunday, July 27, 2008. - Rant
Here it goes, a classic nanny struggle against cheap parents. Who would have ever thought a couple of people could spend so much money on the wrong things in the course of a year, while continuously failing to provide basics for the kids and nanny?

Okay, so you're not rich. Well, let's just look at what you HAVE been able to afford in the past year. Where do I start? You have had money afford a gardener, go on three vacations out of the country, and have purchased a Wii system, karaoke machine, new couch, entertainment system, flat screen TV, video camera, color printer/copier, laptop, ping pong table, hardwood floors for 3/4 of the downstairs, had the patio extended outside, had kitchen and bathroom repainted, dishwasher, new washing machine and on average, one - three UPS boxes a day are delivered to the front doorstep with miscellaneous who knows what inside.

Now, before you go saying, "hey, that's not too bad" let's look at what you haven't been able to come up with the money for.

You have three kids, the oldest two are girls and the youngest is a boy. Funny, you only buy clothes for the oldest girl, and that in itself is rare. The younger girl wears about 90% hand-me-downs from her older sister, most of which are stained. The boy's clothes basically are ALL hand-me-downs from a neighbor. It took forever for you to finally listen to me and get him a pair of sneakers. You still haven't got him any sandals and you expect him to wear the hand-me-down pair that are a size too big for his little feet.

I noticed you didn't buy him any new toys or clothes for his second birthday either. What, the $5000+ vacation was affordable but $100 in toddler birthday presents is out of your league?

And it would be nice if we could buy some craft supplies once in a while. Last time you gave me a $20 budget at Michaels. Are you kidding? The kids haven't had new supplies in months and some things haven't been replenished in a year. Since we aren't allowed to go very many places, I would think you would supply us with some supplies to pass the time.

And food...don't get me started with groceries. First of all, having basically no benefits other than my pay, I accepted your granting me access to your food as a benefit or perk of the job. After all, you did say that you would provide lunch for me in the very beginning. However, when I write things on the list that you used to buy for me to eat, and you don't replenish it for two weeks, it gets frustrating.

I don't mind bringing my own food for lunch most days. However, your KIDS have a limited diet of pasta, cheese sandwiches, and pb&J. So when I show up to your house on Mondays and you are out of cheese and bread, preparing their meals gets a little tricky. I have offered to go grocery shopping for you countless times, and you won't take me up on it unless you actually run out of milk. And then you tell me to only get the milk. But when I write something on the list and it never gets bought, like diapers, laundry detergent, dish soap, I get a little frustrated. Honestly, do I really need to run out of diapers before you go to the store?

What about the little first aid kit I said I wanted to take to the park and you never bought? I actually had to finally buy it myself! It set me back a whole $1.50. And was it really neccessary for you to borrow the $1.00 kitchen gloves (I had to buy for myself ) to clean the bathrooms!

Why won't you buy coldpacks like I asked? They have multiple uses and are quite essential for the park and other outings. Are they really that expensive?

Oh, and water. It would be nice if you actually changed the filter in your fridge, which I have brought to your attention a few times. Now the fridge water line is broken, doesn't dispense water at all and we are now drinking tap water. I am literally bringing my own water to work.

It would also really do you some good to get a housekeeper, since you don't have time to clean your house. I mean, I don't like having to look at cobwebs and spiders in the corners every time I go to the bathroom. Accept the fact that you can't keep up with it and get help.

I could go on and on, but I think one of the things that bothers me the most is that I am watching your three children in the summer and we don't have much to do. Most things aren't free, and it would be nice if we could go on a few fun outings now and then without it coming out of my pocket. I know you all have a Zoo/Wild Animal Park membership and Sea World/Aquarium passes too. How silly of me to think you would get me a pass so I could take them. In fact, I should have known better. After all, when you guys all went to Legoland with your out-of-town friends the day after Thanksgiving last year, you left me home with the 18-month-old instead of letting me come a long and take care of him so we could both have some fun. Maybe you just wanted me to earn my pay that Black Friday. After all, it's not a paid holiday.

What exactly is the deal here? Is it that you don't really have as much money as you think you do? Is it because you figure it is easy to cut corners with the kids and I because we won't really notice or care? Is it because you are too busy with work and your jam-packed social schedule to put attention to the "small stuff'"? Or do you just not have your priorities in order?

My hopes are, aside from feeling better after venting, that some parents with tight purse strings will think twice before going cheap on the wrong things. Think about it. If you can afford a nanny, you are in the top percent of people in the most advantageous economic positions. You have a full-time employee entering your house every day. Whether you like it or not, whether it's our business or not, we are going to notice things you buy. Get your priorities straight or you may find yourself posted on ISYN.

Nanny's weight loss trick has Mother concerned

Received Sunday, July 27, 2008 - Rant(s) and Warnings
I thought Liz was wonderful. I found Liz through Sitter City. Liz told me that she also advertised her services on Craig's List. I reside in Lower Westchester County. I want to share my story about Liz with you, not because I believe Liz is exceptionally horrible. I don't. I believe Liz is troubled, but I am most concerned with a specific trick she taught my preteen daughters. I was concerned when sharing the story with my friends to learn that they had heard of girls, teens and tweens doing this. Liz seemed great with the girls. She would come over and watch movies with them, make smores, paint nails and do girly things.

We hired her at the beginning of the summer to work a few nights a week. Last week, I was in the kitchen leafing through the mail, when I spied my 12 year old daughter out of the corner of my eye. I watched her pull a hair from her head, unsure of what I was seeing. I was about to call her name when I saw her make a few other moves and then pick up a glass of water and put the hair in her mouth and take a big sip of water. Now I called out her name, loudly. She was shocked and turned to look at me. Even though I wasn't sure what I had seen, the look of guilt made it very apparent it was something bad. I demanded to know what she was doing. After a few answers of "nothing" and "stop spying", she confessed. Liz had taught her a great weight loss trick.

The girls are now ripping out long strands of their hair, knotting the ends of the hair with an anchor, and I'm sorry if this is disturbing to read, it was disturbing to learn and see. At the knotted end, they secure something weighted, for instance a piece of an apple stem, a corner of a piece of cheese and they use the water to get that part to slide down their throat while they thread the hair through a tooth. Then they indulge in whatever bad foods they want to indulge in and apparently after that, they release the hair from their tooth and give it a tug, at which point, it instigates a deep gag reflex and the whole of their binge is ejected. As stated, I spoke to Liz's parents. They are good people, were apologetic and worried and will be handling Liz. As a mother of two preteens, I do wonder how many other girls are doing this... or worse.

Nanny needs advice about Alcoholic Father

Received Sunday, July 27, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I need some advice. I am a Nanny for 2 children, one 4 y.o. and one 6 y.o. and I have been with this Family for about 2 years. Both Parents are nice but the Dad works like 70 hrs. a week, in a very high-stress job. He has come home on several occasions from "business dinners" drinking. I can see that this behavior has the kids upset. I don't think the 4 y.o. understands what is going on, but I know the 6 y.o. does. He wants to know why Daddy "acts so weird". And I just don't know what to say. The Mom doesn't condone the drinking either, but I'm not so sure she even knows what to do.
He's a nice guy, hard-working, and spends all of his free time with the kids. I would guess he is what they call a "functioning alcoholic".
My question is, what do I say to the kids, if anything, when they ask me these questions? And what can I say to the Mom? She hasn't confided in me how she feels, but when he comes home on these nights, I get that "look" from her - like "here we go again". I feel bad for her and the kids, and don't know what to do. Please help.

26 July, 2008

Abusive Nanny at Dinosaur Playground in NYC

Received Saturday, July 26, 2008.
nanny sighting logo
I want to report a nanny for borderline abuse. Nanny was acting bizarrely. There were two children. One was about 4 and a really cute kid. She was playing with him and barking like a dog and licking him. The boy was laughing and chasing her and riding her. There was a sister that attempted to join in on the fun. She tried to join in no less than four times and every time the nanny swatted her away, growled at her, told her "I'll bite you" and said some form of go away. I was apalled. The girl was about 6 years old. She is old enough to tell Mom that the nanny/ babysitter is being mean to her. The little girl was so sad. She had a short bob, dark hair, freckles on her cheeks and was wearing a white gauze-like dress with blue embroidery on the front. She also had tennis shoes on. The little boy had the same coloring and eyes as the sister. His hair was a buzz cut, he had no freckles but wore tennis shoes, jean shorts and a US Open t-shirt. I don't know what the nanny's race was, she could have been white or hispanic. She had her brownish/blonde hair in a scrunchie on the top of her head, a wide, very full face, not unattractive and she was on the thin side. She had on a pair of grey athletic shorts with a logo on the waist band and a white shirt with a black paisley design. The whole time I saw them, she was ignoring, mistreating or outright being verbally abusive to the little girl. They were in the fountain area, the fenced in area. The nanny/babysitter would try and get water in her hands and fling it on the girl who for whatever reason did not want to get wet. The nanny/babysitter also lapped at the fountains (like a dog) and tried to spit water on the girl. Please don't say this was in fun because she did not do this to the boy! This happened today, about 11:00am and I was at Dinosaur Playground.

How to abuse your Live-in Nanny ....

Received Saturday, July 26, 2008. - Rant
Recently http://www.nannyquestions.com/ has come to the attention of the nanny world. This site is a Canadian site meant to "educate" the public about hiring a live in nanny in Canada. The truth is that the website should be coined how to abuse your live in nanny ten ways from Sunday.

Most offensive is the recommendation of a cleaning schedule that has the nanny cleaning blinds, hand washing stained clothing before putting it in the washing machine (not just kids clothing, but adults as well), dusting living room shelves, moving sofas to clean behind, etc. In addition they recommend a $100 dollar a YEAR raise. It works out to be less than 1% of the annual salary, $1000 monthly for a new nanny, $1200 for an experienced live in nanny.

Those of us in the industry are taking a stand and want the general public to know that this is not standard practices for nannies in the US and shouldn't be standard practices in Canada either. Please help us protest these practices by emailing admin@nannyquestions.com

Saturday, July 26, 2008.

Mad World - Gary Jules
Update on the search for Caylee:

Casey Anthony's Jailhouse Phone call

How You Can Help In The Search For Caylee

Deputies Release 911 Tapes

Video: Toddler's Grandmother defends Jailed Daughter

25 July, 2008

Travelling with a Nanny

Received Friday, July 25, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
It may seem decadent, but I’m not at all embarrassed to admit that we travel with our Nanny when we think it will make the trip go better. Bringing her along gives us the flexibility to see the sights we’re interested at an adult pace and to go out for a few special meals. We also know that our kids are well cared and comfortable with a familiar person when we’re out and about.

It’s important to set some ground rules up front so that everyone has the same expectations of the trip. Your nanny may be expecting an all expenses paid vacation while you’re expecting round the clock care for your kids in exchange for footing the bill. Your nanny may not have a lot of experience with travel and may need some help adjusting. Finally, it can be difficult to travel with others, you need to set things up to minimize any possible points of friction… after all, you’re probably hoping that you’ll employ your nanny for years.

Passport & Visas

Verify that your nanny has a passport and the visas she needs, you don’t want to find out at the last minute that there is a problem. If your nanny does not have a passport, you might want to help get things started, and you’ll certainly want to pay for any application fees

Expenses

It’s important to have clear communication about expenses up front. What will you be paying for on the trip, and what will the Nanny be responsible for? Here are some examples:

* Travel (air, train, etc) to and from destination
* Hotel or Vacation rental expenses
* Meals. You might have a different policy when dining with family than when dining alone
* Activities and admissions with kids or family
* Telephone calls home
* Transportation at the destination
* Luggage storage at an airport or train station
* Internet café expenses


Sleeping arrangements

You’ll need to decide whether you expect your Nanny to share a room with your children or want to provide a separate space. It’s more expensive to give the Nanny privacy, but giving her a space to call her own can help her be better rested and more mentally available to your kids during the day.

Whatever your decision, you should communicate clearly with the Nanny about what to expect.

Compensation

You’ll need to arrange to pay the Nanny while you’re on the road. If you don’t have direct deposit set up, you may want to give her post dated checks that someone can mail to the bank for her or pay her in cash in local currency.

Decide whether you will provide a per-diem to compensate her for the extra difficulty and expense of being away from home? (some people pay up to $50 per day, but expect round the clock availability in return.) We give a small amount extra if we feel that expenses are more (due to the low dollar) in our destination.

Schedule

It’s important that your communication about work hours and overtime pay be just as clear while you’re travelling as it is at home.

I go so far as to bring a printed calendar with me on trips and write the planned hours & actual hours on each day.

We set expectations in advance with the nanny that the work schedule will be different than it is at home. Here’s how we have chosen to do things:

* We set a schedule at the beginning of each week of travel. During the week we track the actual hours and adjust the schedule as needed.
* We pay for each hour that the nanny is in transit with us, and expect her to work during that time (ie. From the time she arrives at our home until the time we reach our destination)
* We set up the schedule so that we have more hours with the kids during the day than we would at home & several date nights a week. The travel hours usually eat into the schedule enough that we have lots of daytime hours with the kids to enjoy our destination.
* We always give a day off after a travel day. Travel days can be stressful and it’s good to give everyone a little time apart to recuperate. Also, we want the nanny to have time to scope out the destination before she’s responsible for entertaining the kids.


Work Expectations

Not being in your house and in your usual environment will bring up a lot of new questions about what’s expected. Also, unless you have a live-in Nanny, this is probably the first time you’ve shared a space. You’ll want to make sure you answer any questions the Nanny has and set expectations up front about what will be different and what will not change even though you’re all “on vacation”

* Remind your nanny that the kids continue to be her first priority when she is working. Any personal sightseeing or shopping needs to be done on her own time.
* Once you’ve ironed out exactly what you expect in terms of work schedule, remind her that because you’ll be sharing a space, she’s likely to get woken up at night if the kids wake up and that the kids will see her coming and going. Explain that of course you’ll all try to be sensitive about this, but make sure she realizes that she’ll not be able to totally walk away from work as she might at home.
* Nighttime work is a little different than at home as well, if you’re sharing an apartment, is it ok for her to go to bed once the kids are asleep? Or do you expect her to wait up until you are home? Our policy is that the nanny can sleep once the kids are settled, as long as there is a baby monitor or some way for her to hear them and attend to them.
* Review any special safety issues related to your destination (E.g. only bottled water, no taxi rides, parts of town to avoid, etc)
* You’ll want to decide what types of activities she can take the kids to do. Can she take them on public transit? To a museum? How should she expect to be reimbursed for these activities?
* Is the nanny still responsible for household chores that she would normally do in your home?
* What is your policy about the Nanny bringing guests into your shared space?
* If there are any limitations on how much luggage your nanny can bring (perhaps you have booked a rental car with a small trunk) or if you anticipate needing her to have hands free to help with the kids on travel days, let her know in advance so that she can pack light.

96th Street Lexington Ave Playground - Manhattan

Received Friday, July 25, 2008.
nanny sighting logo
At 10:45-11:00 on Friday July 25th: AA nanny with approx 4 year old boy, blonde hair, white polo shirt with collar, blue swim trunks with a younger sister in pink flowered bathing suit - maybe 2 or 2.5 years old named Emily I think. Nanny wearing Black and white V-neck striped shirt and Jeans. Verbally and physically nasty to the boy. Scolded him, made him stand in a corner, pushing fingers in his face and chin roughly as she was talking to him to get the boy to look at her. Very upsetting to see this. Woman seemed to be inappropriate as a child caregiver and a very angry individual.
Friday, July 25, 2008.
Silly Love Songs - Paul McCartney & Wings

24 July, 2008

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Do you know who your live-in nanny is/was your nanny dating?
Westport Home Invasion
A woman, a nanny at a home on Yankee Hill Road, heard footsteps outside her bedroom door and saw Philip J. Speirs, 23, her former boyfriend, enter her bedroom through unlocked doors, brandishing a knife. According to the woman, Speirs appeared to be intoxicated and he accused her of checking into calls on his cell phone. She screamed and Speirs pointed the knife at her, telling her to be quiet. However, she ran from the bedroom, alerting other family members present inside the home to contact the police, which they did. She and the other family members all barricaded themselves in another room and Speirs left.

SAHMS who don't communicate with their nannies...
Bedminster Boy Found With Mom After Babysitter Calls Police

Losing your husband to the nanny is the ultimate indignity

A gracious amount of notice...

Received Thursday, July 24, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I need advice, I have been a nanny for this family for 3 years now and I have decided that it is time to move on. I have always enjoyed the family a lot, but now I find myself having less and less tolerance fpr the children and also finding out that I suddenly am getting hardly any vacation time. I have never had sick days and have worked on many occasions while needing to be in bed resting (i.e. a week after surgery). How long of notice should I give as I want to be gracious and not leave them helpless as both parents work full time. We have never had any disputes between us and I just know it is my time to hang up my nanny hat and go back to school, everyone involved deserves better and I do not want to end up resentful towards the parents and especially the kids. Thanks everyone!

Beach at Jenkinson's Boardwalk, NJ

Received Thursday, July 24, 2008
nanny sighting logoAlternative looking nanny with gothic stylings seen being abusive towards two tow headed children on Wed. 7/23 at the beach by Jenkinson's Boardwalk. The nanny was listening to a silver ipod with earbuds in her ears while the two children, 3 & 5 ish were playing in the sand and sweating. The children were begging for her to take them down to the shore to play in the water but she waved them away, shushed them and even said, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH". The nanny was eating Frito's out of a bag and ignoring the children. Some time passed and the nanny said, as if the children hadn't been begging, "okay, who wants to go in the water". They both jumped up excitedly, the boy jumped on the nanny's foot and she pushed him down. It might have been a reflex but she pushed him all the way down so he fell back on the blanket. Then she screamed, "Jeezus, Mark, watch it". The boy, who was the oldest of the two started to sniffle and she said, "Stop your crying or your not big enough to go in the water". I watched her take them down in the water. The little girl was hesitant to get wet and the nanny was aggressively splashing her and seemed to be getting a thrill out of making the girl scream. It didn't look or pass as fun. Nope, not at all. When they got back to the blanket, the boy said he was thirsty. The nanny pulled out two Mott's apple drinks and said, "your sharing" and then she sucked the other one down. All of those Fritos must have made her thirsty. She put her ipod back in and tuned out the children who she told to "build something". Nothing she said was said in a nice or patient way. She had a really ugly personality. She was tall, with short, dark hair, very fair skin, attractive face and a tatoo on her shoulder blade and a tattoo above her waist in the back. The little boy was wearing a black bathing suit with green and yellow print and the little girl was wearing a shiny purple bathing suit that looked like it had a fish scale design. Both children were very blonde. The girl's hair was shoulder length. The little girl was not very verbal, so she could have been younger and I did hear her call the older child Mark. This nanny should be called out and fired. If only, I would have had my cell phone on me, I would have taken some pictures. The nanny had a large black and grey bag that was made out of the same material that lawnchairs are made out of. It was a huge bag that held everything. Hope there is enough detail here for you to identify her.

The Anti Obama Employer

Received Thursday, July 24, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion

About me:
African American female, associates degree in early childhood education, lifeguard (on weekends at a country club), come from a solid family, tax payer, registered voter (democrat).

About my employer:
The he, not the she. She is great. He: Hardcore republican, works from home half time all summer long, opinionated, rude & inconsiderate.

The problem:
I know my female employer is not prejudiced, but the comments my male employer keeps making, albeit directed at Barack Obama; are getting me angry. From, "He wouldn't be popular except that he's black" to "Why is it any time a black man speaks in complete sentences, he is hailed as a gifted orator". This morning, he had Fox News on in his office when I chased the two year old in there and he told me, "You know what, this guy is Hitler. He is 100% Hitler. Going around making all of these unnecessary speeches and people going wild, yep that's Hitler. That's how Hitler came to fame".

Question:
I would love to say something directly to him, but that isn't my style. Even if it were, he has already announced that every black person in the US is voting for Obama, that 'we' can't see past his color. Would it be inappropriate for me to mention this to my female employer? With every awful thing he says, I like him less and less.

23 July, 2008

Dirty, Dirty Liar....

Received Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Support Group? Here? I am looking to exchange stories with other nannies who can identify with my story. I am motivated by a post whereby someone commented, " Don't sweat it. If you suspect she is slandering you professionally, that is saying false things that hinder your ability to earn a living, she is liable for monetary damages.". I was curious if anyone has ever successfully sued a former employer for said monetary damages. I worked for an idiot once. She was truly dumb, I'm not sure how she even got a driver's licence- she was that dumb. She was also a vindictive twat and even though her lawyer husband told her she couldn't say anything negative about me to references who called her, I just found out that she has been running her mouth. The things she has said are 100 percent not true and I am able to prove that. I ended the job with her because she was so inconsistent and flighty and a stay at home Mom. She put me in a bad position because together we shared responsibility for three children under 6 and she perpetually put her own kids at risk. And when her husband called her to task on it, she lied outright to him and told him it was me. The husband was smart and realized I would never have done that. I left on good terms with him, 4 months ago. But I have just started interviewing and not only is she intercepting calls meant for him, but she has been lying to shared acquaintances of ours. I live in the same area where she lives. Some of our shared acquaintances were mine before they were hers. We have the same podiatrist, shop at the same grocery store and I have nieces at her child's preschool. Some of the ugly things she has said, she has said to teachers at this preschool. I am a nanny. My reputation is everything to me. Besides which, everyone knows the best jobs come by word of mouth and no one is going to want to hire me when Sid Vicious is out their spewing her false tales. Help!

Oh, your poor, poor nanny!

Received Wednesday, July 23, 2008
South Knightsbridge Circle in Ann Arbor, Michigan - Rant
Seriously, of all the kids I have ever seen act out... Yours take the cake.Your poor nanny had her hands full this afternoon at 1:30. Your son and his victimised younger brother( didn't look to close at the little one but I'm sure it was a boy) is an absolute monster. Yes I said it. He must be around 6 or even 7. Shaven head. She was very patiently pushing the little one in a plastic yellow and red car while your out of control son was hitting her from behind for no reason with a toy- and I mean he hit her real hard. Sadly she looked used to it. I know this because she asked him to keep up with her already slow pace -I heard her ask nicely. So that must be the "reason" if you are trying to justify things.He was so nasty to your youngest. Teasing and aggravating him for no reason what so ever to the point of tears. The nanny kept asking calmly for him to stop though I could see she was embarrassed and felt like she had no way of getting him too.That kid planted his butt on the cart, clearly too big for him preventing her from pushing the little one at all. So now nanny is at stand still for 5 min asking for cooperation. Then I hear her saying: you are going to lose privileges... Kid just doesn't care. Again this kid had to be at least 6. What 6yr old does that? That's 2/3 year old behaviour! My point is that you should be embarrassed to even call yourself a parent. Especially when I'm sure you are the brunette mom who allowed this same kid to crawl out your parked car sunroof in the parking lot outside your condo onto the glass and hood like an animal! He could have slipped and cracked his head open. Boys will be boys but that's a bit much.Grow common sense! Your kids safety and his future moral being is at risk here! And for goodness sake teach him some manners so your poor nanny won't be the punching bag anymore.This was all just too disgusting to witness. I hope you know the general public is watching. Hopefully that would be motivation for you to take the parent roll. Its really not that hard to raise respectful kids. I've raised 6 from 3 different families and they are decent kids- with flaws- but decent at least.

Did I anger the wrong person?

Received Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I recently browsed through craigslist and responded to an ad that caught my eye. I talked on the phone for a great length of time about the position and was able to get an interview. The "position" was babysitting on an as needed basis, not consisent hours. I had a weird feeling about the family, and something told me not to interview with this family. Well, on the day of the interview, I had an emergency and cancelled the interview. When I called the mother to notify her to cancel, she tells me that I am unprofessional and obnoxious in not so many words, and that she wasn't interested in me babysitting because I cancelled the interview. Ok, so if I hadn't shown up that would be unprofessional, right? Things do happen, and had I been in a serious car accident, would that be unprofessional of me to call and cancel for that reason? The mother mentioned that she used to nanny in college, and I figured that if anyone would be understanding, it would be her. While I was talking to her, we got disconnected. What bothers me is that she was rather rude, and what worries me is that she may see my future ads on CL and write her own about me, damaging my credibility and professional reputation. Nannies and parents, any advice?

Blaming the babysitter...

Friday, July 18, 2008
Blaming the babysitter would be one thing, but these people are making up babysitters. Anyone notice this trend? Mothers and fathers who having been caught leaving their children alone unsupervised point their fingers at Snuffalupucus-esque babysitters. With minimal investigation, the authorities are able to establish that no such sitter ever existed and the parents simply left their children alone.

And now, an allegedly negligent and deeply troubled mother has apparently fingered her imaginary sitter in the disappearance of her 2 year old child. The story which reeked of implausibility from the get go continues to unravel in Orange County, Florida where authorities fear the mother made up the babysitter story as a cover up. The search continues but the biggest obstacle continues to be Caylee's mother, 22-year-old Casey Anthony.The girl's disappearance came to light only after her grandparents contacted authorities, despite the fact that child had been missing 5 weeks. The girl's mother appeared before an Orange County judge Thursday morning.He ordered her held without bond on charges of child neglect and for lying to authorities, saying she was a threat to others.

Update:
Investigators search backyard for clues
Casey Anthony Bond Set: $500,000
Your thoughts?

Gardens Mall in PBG, Florida

Received Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nannyThis is a excellent nanny sighting.
Where: Gardens Mall, PBG Florida
Date: Tuesday, 7/22
Nanny description: White, slim, brown hair, some kind of English/Australian accent, was wearing an Ed Hardy blue tee-shirt.
Child: 5-6 years old, white, wearing a pink dress with pink crocs.

I saw your nanny and your child today while I was at Pottery Barn Kids with my charge. Your nanny was excellent with your daughter! I heard your child, Julia who was about 5-6 years old call the nanny, Christina. Nanny was sitting at the table with your child and they were involved in a very cute game of "cooking", using everything from salt shakers to milk to make the perfect birthday cake. Nanny was kind and even offered for my charge to come over and play with them and help them cook! The parents of Julia should know that her daughter is being very well taken care of!

Where The Nannies Are....(?)

Received Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I am currently a nanny in Newton, MA. I love the baby that I spend my days with. He is just over a year and LOVES to be outside and around other kids. Unfortunately, he can't have a conversation with me so I end up spending most of my day singing songs to him and not talking to another person. I attend playgroups at the library and frequent free concerts, parks, and playgrounds. I have run into quite a few stay at home moms in this community, but have yet to meet any other nannies. Stay at home, married, mortgage-paying moms are cool and all, but I am 22 and don't have much in common with them. Any ideas on how I can seek out fellow nannies to buddy up with?

22 July, 2008

Blue Tinged Boy

Received Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - Rant(s) and Warnings
My 5 year old charge and I were playing with a new type of water gun (yesterday) that can squirt colored water. His water gun's dye pack leaked and got all over his hands and he touched his cheek before I realized it. After 5 minutes of washing his hands with soap and water, he still had a blue tinge to his hands and cheek when I left. It is non-toxic, but I wanted to warn other caregivers and parents of this frustrating toy.

Still more housekeeper and nanny drama...

Received Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I appreciate the comments given on ISYN in the past, particularly the opportunity to get perspective from both moms and nannies. The post just prior has some similarities to my own so I thought it a good time to get some feedback also. Let me start by saying, I am aware that I can be a bit of a worrier in general and do tend to over analyze things. I don't want to read too much into acts that others think are generally minor, but also don't want to overlook something significant in terms of character. My nanny has been with us 7 months. She is in her mid-40s with 3 kids of her own, including a 20yo daughter who babysits for us also a few hours a week (per my nanny's request and in my attempt to help out). I have a 9mo son who is my nanny's primary responsibility. Both my husband and I WOHM, though I work slightly less than full time so am home to see my nanny sometimes. We live in New York City in an apartment.

When hiring a nanny, the most important things to me are: her character; honesty; loving; responsible; good work ethic. Of course, any nanny needs to have common sense and reasonable intuition with kids, but I feel most details can be taught and I care MUCH more about having a caregiver who is a good person than one with a certain background or degree. My nanny does have years of experience in her field and great references. I like her - empirically and on a basic human level. Her daughter is still a kid in many ways and not someone I would ordinarily hire, but to help both out I do try to give her 8-10 hours a week, usually when I know I will be around a lot. We pay our nanny fairly and gave her a raise after 3 months because she is great. We pay her above either of her prior jobs and above what she initially asked for, though are not able to pay extravagantly.

Here are many of my nanny's wonderful attributes:
-warm, loving, kind, patient with my "spirited" 9mo
-always on time
-amazing work ethic. Spends baby's nap time doing duties I never asked her to do such as sweeping up the floor or organizing cabinets. Not an ounce of laziness in her.
-always willing to help out in a pinch. Stayed for 24 hours when I was sick in the ER, etc. Yes, we pay her for the overtime, but she certainly did not have to do it.
-flexible
-amazing baby intuition and can get my baby to sleep like no one else
-smart, shows initiative

Here are the minor issue I'm concerned about. These other examples, but this is fresh in my mind since it just happened. Though, honestly, reading what I've already written makes me feel stupid for even bringing this up. But, I've come this far . . .

This is the most recent and relates to nanny/hk drama. Housekeeper comes once a week, has been with us 6 years, and is loyal and helpful to a fault. HK can admittedly be quite gossipy and judgmental and probably isn't a person I would be friends with, but she has always done right by us. HK works for another persoon in our building. Other person had a roommate move in so did not need two vacuums. Gave extra, fairly new but mid range, vacuum to HK. HK kindly brought it to us and, per HK, wrote a long note explaining she thought it would be helpful as we are likely to move into a house and it would be easier for her also to have one vacuum for each floor. HK also said note said she would like vacuum if we did not want it. HK said she attached note firmly to vacuum. She then explained all of this to Nanny's daughter (ND). ND was only working a couple hours in the morning. When I arrived home, ND was gone and Nanny was there. Nanny said, "Here is an extra vacuum. Someone down the hall was getting rid of it so I thought you might want it." There was no note attached. I thought, gee, what a kind gesture of Nanny, but I'm sure she needs it much more than me. I thanked Nanny, but told her she should take it home for herself if she wanted it. Fast forward to a week later, HK arrives and asks about vacuum and note. I am flummoxed and (knowing N and HK already hate each other), give a vague answer about not seeing the note and giving vacuum to Nanny. HK is quite upset at the perceived dishonesty of ND and Nanny. I have not seen ND or N to ask about this ( and not sure I will anyway). I believe my HK. I also believe Nanny likely really needs the vacuum and don't begrudge her having it. However, I am concerned that she would remove a note and present the vacuum story the way she did. It just doesn't sit right with me.

Other issues have been small fibs or omissions. Like me asking casually if baby did well with solids today and her replying, yes. Then it being obvious she didn't try solids that day - for good reason, such as being out and about, but still it's the small lie that bugs me. Or once saying she didn't give the baby whole cheerios, just small pieces, then walking in and seeing baby eating whole ones. I don't care if baby eats whole cheerios if he can manage it so I don't get the lies. She doesn't seem to lie about anything big or meaningful to me, and I feel like it is usually an automatic response because she's worried I'll be upset though I really wouldn't. I get how hard kids are and am not bothered by small schedule stuff. Just like to keep track so I know where baby is at for the evenings and overall. I have also been a little concerned that things are moved around in my medicine cabinet at times, though never felt anything was missing.

I don't have a nanny cam. Should I get one? Would that solve this?

Am I just being too crazy? Or are these small things more meaningful than I realize?

All opinions appreciated and promise to answer questions later tonight.

No good deed goes un... How does that go?

Received Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I am in the process of renovating my home and I am fortunate to employ some in home help. Everyone is aware of the renovation in process and the fact that I will be replacing much of the existing furniture and decor. My nanny of three months expressed an interest in my eldest daughter's bedroom set. I told her that she was welcome to it but she should make plans to have it moved out by Friday of this week. Yesterday, my housekeeper informed me that the nanny brought over someone to look at the furniture. I explained to the housekeeper, (who had asked for the furniture after the nanny) that she probably needed to have the furniture sized up so her friend/family member could have a better idea of what size truck or van he would need. My housekeeper looked at me with what I believe was exasperation and walked away. Two hours ago, my housekeeper told me that the person my nanny showed the furniture to decided to take it and that was $1500 for her pocket. I confronted the nanny who told me that she did need a new bedroom set for herself, but she decided if she would fare better to sell the set I had given her and use the proceeds to have a new set delivered to her home. The housekeeper is upset about it and upset at me. (My housekeeper has been with me 7 years). I think myself a very laid back and generous person, but I am very upset that the nanny placed an ad on Craig's list and welcomed a stranger in to my home to show him the furniture. Am I wrong? The more I think about it, the angrier I get. The man who came to look at the furniture is allegedly returning tomorrow afternoon to pick everything up. The man has not paid her. I would really like to suggest to the nanny that she phone him and tell him the furniture is not for sale. I would further like to advise her that if she cannot USE the furniture, the housekeeper was very hurt that I hadn't offered it to her. No good deed goes un... How does that go? Help!

"I always feel like I am being watched."

Received Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I need this to be posted anonymously. I am a 25 year old nanny who moved to Fairfield County from my hometown to work as a nanny. I left the first job I had when I realized how easy it would be to make more money. I know- karma. Here is the problem. I am living in a huge manse near the water, working for a family that is super generous with money, never asks for receipts, doesn't care how much I spend on personal groceries and they seem nice too. But, I feel like I am on camera all the time. I don't know why. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like I am being recorded. I am even nervous in my own personal bathroom. I don't dawdle in the nude. I get dressed in my bedroom lickety split. I always feel like I am being watched. This is my question. If I know a time when both parents and some of the other home employees will be out, I want to have someone come in and check my private area for cameras and microphones. I may work for rich people, but I'm not rich. I do make about a thousand dollars a week. Does anyone know who does this or where I can buy the equipment to do a bug search or camera search myself? I am not a paranoid person. I did work for my first family, (who were also wealthy, just not in the same circle as these people) and live in their home for 5 months without a single thought like this. Any advice from nannies, employers or techies would be super.

Playdates: How long is too long?

Received Tuesday, July 22, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I have a question.
What is my role as a nanny in regard to play dates? I understand my charge wants to have friends over and that's part of my job but I feel like I am being taken advantage of and used for free babysitting by my employers friends!

When I was hired, I agreed to supervise play dates. I didn't think I would need to specify exactly what a play date is, how long it should last and how many children.

Last week I was placed in charge of two so called play dates. One day, there was 3 children for 4 hours. The next time, only 2 children - but nearly all day! I learned form the other child that her sitter had called out sick! Today I had 3 kids again for almost 4 hours. What is a reasonable play date length (I thought it was 1 to 2 hours). And is it unreasonable to expect the other mother to stay and help? Truth be told, my charge is hyper and medicated so unexpected, short notice and overly long play dates are very trying for both of us. Thanks!

21 July, 2008

Safe Bathing...

Received Monday, July 21, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Nannies, please advise. I want to start out by saying I do not mean to offend anyone. As a concerned parent who is hiring a nanny for the first time, I plan to install a camera initially. Every day I hear aweful stories the really scare me however I do know there are honest and trustworthy nannies out there. I certainly plan to tell my nanny that we will have video cameras initially. My dilemma is the bathroom. I am torn because I do think it is sick to record anyone in the bathroom, however, how do I make sure that my babies are being bathed safely? I have more than one bathroom the nanny is free to use for personal reasons - but it still feels odd. I could also have the camera pointed just to the bathtub?? I really need some advice and thought that nannies could offer some creative solutions.

I work long hours and plan to mostly bath them myself. However, if for example they happen to spit up on themselves or the oldest rubs speghetti in his hair - as he loves to do, I'd rather not have them be dirty all day have to wait for me. I am not comfortable with putting a camera in the bathroom, but at the same time they are too big for the sink. Again, I'm looking for some kind of creative solution. Ideas welcome!

Hudson River Water Park in NYC

Received Monday, July 21, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nanny Husband, son and I were at the waterpark on the Hudson River (around Horatio St?) on Sunday morning and were sitting in the sand area. There was a girl there (maybe early 20's) who was babysitting a 3 yr old girl named Isabel. They were having so much fun together. The little girl was running back and forth between the water and the sand, and the babysitter never took her eyes off the girl. And they were both very involved in whatever they were building in the sandpit. We chatted briefly, and she said she moved here from Oregon, but I didn't ask her any other details. Just wanted to let the parents know that Isabel is being well cared for and having fun!

20 July, 2008

Madison Square Park in NYC

Received Sunday, July 20, 2008
nanny sighting logo
On July 15, a Caribbean nanny in late 40's with short hair with bits of gray. She was wearing a denim skirt and button down short sleeve white shirt with tennis shoes. She is very overweight but seems energetic (just using as a description). The child's name is Grace and she looks to be around 5 and was coming from school that day. She is blonde and was wearing a school uniform (green/blue skirt white shirt).

Your nanny does not like you (husband/mother and child). She was nice to the girl when speaking to her but as soon as she left she returned to bad mouthing your whole family to her group of about 5 friends (all Caribbean nannies judging from accents). She said your daughter is a "whiney bitch like her mother" and complains non stop about everything. She then began to divulge VERY personal things about you, and your home such as personal hygiene habits, eating and drinking habits and your valuable possessions. She also gave a detailed description of your building and work places. She said she would leave but you pay too well and she does not want to lose the money so she "will put up with the snotty brat and her asshole parents" as long as she can.

I am a nanny and was standing nearby and really was appalled by what I heard. I was not eavesdropping as she is very loud and anyone near could not help but hear everything she said. Her disdain for your child, you and her job are VERY apparent and she clearly did not care who heard for the 20 min or more that she complained (I left the area and came back several times and she was still at it).

19 July, 2008

New Addition...

Saturday, June 19, 2008
Welcome MPP
If you haven't noticed, the legendary MPP, (Marypoppin'pills) has joined the ISYN blog on a permanent basis. Look for her to be moderating comments, posting sightings, videos, stories and to generally keep things running around here.

..Before I do something that I'll regret....

Received Saturday, July 19, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
So, I know that I'm going to get a lot of s**t from moms & wives, but I'm ok with that because I know I've not done anything really wrong. I'm a nanny for a family out in Radnor, PA. I came to this family about nine months ago. I'm from West Virginia (like 7 hours drive from here) and I really don't have any friends out here. Other nannies in the area are older or don't speak english well. I love the kids, they kinda keep me sane and the mom I work for is great, but she travels a ton for work.

At first the dad & I didn't have much interaction. I'd probably been here 6 months before we had a whole conversation. This didn't bother me because I really didn't see him ever, but then he started 'telecommuting' and he's here all the time. This totally bugged me at first, I think other nannies will know how annoying it is to have a parent in your space all the time--the kids were acting up constantly.

Everything changed about a month ago because both older kids went away to camp (sleep away) and only the baby (14 months) is here. I was like totally desperate for someone to talk to and the dad was the only one around. Long story short we've begun to get closer and it's no longer friendly. I haven't let things get out of control (nothing beyond flirting, but I know that it's not innocent), but I don't think that I can stay here much longer.

All of the issues of my employment are dealt with by the mom, so I need to give notice to her and I want to do it ASAP. I love the kids and I haven't been here a year yet, so I'm not sure what to say to her to explain why I want to leave. I can't be honest, at least not while I'm living in their house. I just want to get out before I do something that I'll regret. What's the best thing to say to her?

Dartmouth Totlot in Albany, California

Received Saturday, July 19, 2008
nanny sighting logo Seen Monday July 14 at Dartmouth Totlot, Albany CA. About 4:00 to 4:30 PM. A 45-50 yr old nanny, white with longish auburn wavy hair and what sounded like a Russian accent. Medium build. Double stroller, back to back style, so not much bigger than a regular single stroller, with 2 girls who looked like a mix of white and Asian. Older about 2 1/2, younger about 15-18 months.

2 fairly mild incidents but if I were their parent, I'd want to know, so I'm posting this. As soon as they arrived, nanny got the girls out of the stroller and they ran off to play. Nanny was about 25 feet away, not looking at them, getting out her phone, probably to call the mom, since she talked to her a few minutes later. Older girl was hanging over the "big kid" swing on her stomach, swinging that way, and almost immediately went straight over head first and landed on her head. There was a bouncy surface around the swings but she could have still injured her neck that way and she started crying loudly and cried for a long time. Nanny hurried over and asked her what happened, then cuddled her while she continued to cry. The girl may have cut her lip or something because the nanny was looking at her mouth and saying "now you have a big boo-boo". After a few minutes, Nanny was talking to Mommy on the phone while girl was still crying and saying how they had just gotten to the park and the girl had fallen and oh my goodness, did she cry a lot. Held the phone up to the girl and asked if she wanted to say hi to Mommy. She didn't' really explain of course, that the girl had fallen on her head while she had been 25 feet away with her back turned and she didn't even know how it had happened.

As I was leaving, the nanny was talking to the younger girl, telling her very sternly and seriously that she must NOT go in her diaper because they did not have a clean diaper to change her into, and that she must wait until they got home and go in the potty. This may open the door to a huge controversy, because maybe this was some sort of potty training "boot-camp" approach, but the little girl was very upset and started to cry at being told she was forbidden to potty when she needed to. There was no mention of using a tiny portable potty or finding an appropriate place for her to let it out, just that she had to not do it until they got home. It just struck me as either very unprepared to not have an extra diaper for a child that age, or very unreasonable to demand that she hold it, without making any effort to allow her to go when she needed to.

The nanny seemed to have a nice bond with the girls and wasn't scolding or speaking harshly, but it seemed a bit odd to me.

Nanny needs advice on finding a Job

Received Saturday, July 19, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
Hello everyone. I really want some opinions on this. I am a live-in nanny in Westchester. At the end of the year, I will have worked here for two years and I am ready to move to Manhattan and onto a new live-in job, which I have told my employers. I am wondering what the best way to find that job is? A friend recommended an agency, Absolute Best Care, but I cannot find a lot of reviews.. only 7 or 8. They are half good, half bad. You see, I have been doing this live-in nanny gig for almost two years and so I know what I'm looking for, what I'm not looking for and I know what I'm worth. I want some choices so that I can find a family who is going to treat me right and pay me what I deserve. I am in my early 20's, I am athletic, I love children and being a nanny, I work hard, I'm very NYC savvy and resourceful, as of May 2009 I'll have a bachelor's degree, I was born and raised in the United States and my English is impeccable. I need to find a family who needs and wants these qualities and who is going to treat me with respect and pay me accordingly. A moment ago I mentioned that I love being a NANNY. I need to find a family who is not going to progressively turn me into a personal assistant among other job titles that do not have anything to do with childcare. I need a family who knows that my time is precious to me and that even though I am a live-in, I am not on-call 24 hours a day. I need a family who will let me focus on caring for their children. I am happy to cook for the children and clean the kitchen, I am very happy to take them to any activities and to do all of their laundry and keep their bedrooms and playrooms neat. I'm not lazy, I just do not want to be bombarded with daily errand lists. So, where the heck do I find these people? I'm not from this area so I don't know a lot of people here. Is Craigslist a good place? Do you know of any sites, newspapers or reputable agencies?
Thank you for reading, CH.

18 July, 2008

Friday, July 18, 2008

Reminder:
Effective Friday, 7/18 Anonymous comments will be deleted. Please use a first name, full name, moniker or set of initials to respond to comments and partake in the discussion. To read our complete and revised comment policy, please click here.

We will of course, continue to accept nanny sightings as anonymous comments. If you have a nanny sighting, personal experience or P&O question, you will still be able to leave those anonymously on any ISYN post. We will collect your comment and post it as a blog entry. For more information on how to leave a nanny sighting and what to include, click here.

Still crying at the pass off.....

Received Friday, July 18, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I have posted in the past about my charge who was 10 months at the time crying when he would be passed off to me by the parents. He now just turned one. Things have gotten a lot worse. I have been with him since he was 2 months old and the parents are NEVER home. Some days they don't even see him at all, I am the one to get him up and put him to bed. This happens on a consistent basis. They have them on weekends mostly but not always. Needless to say their time with them is VERY limited and I am the MAIN caregiver. I feel that we DID bond and I really enjoy my time that I spend with him, usually. In the past few weeks when the parents leave in the morning or if they just leave the room he gets HYSTERICAL, INCONSOLABLE and wont let me comfort him and basically does not want me. I have been a nanny for 10 years--I have NEVER had this happen to me( for children I have been with since birth basically). It is a slap to the face. I know he is just a baby and perhaps I am sounding like a whining baby It just really hurts my feelings. I don't know why if he never sees them why he would even care. It makes me think that we aren't as bonded as I thought we were and perhaps they should find another nanny that he likes better. When we are alone together he is fine but when they are around -forget it! Am I crazy , is this just a stage that he will outgrow? The thing is when they are with him all they do is hold him and let him be a brat and do whatever he wants. When he is with me he can not act like that. What should I do?? there really isnt anything I can do is there? Should I look for another job? I feel like I am not that happy anymore.

17 July, 2008

Express Clothing in the Garden State Plaza, NJ

Received Thursday, July 17, 2008
nanny sighting logo First, let me say that I have a nanny and I am aware that my own nanny takes my 2 year old child on her personal errands. I have no problem with this because I am aware that my nanny does this and because although my nanny will incorporate some aspects of her life into the job, I am confident my child remains her number one priority. Second, I would like to say that I terribly regret not having said something in person. My moment passed and this is unfortunately, an after thought. I only hope someone knows this child. I was trying on some trousers at the store and made two trips to the dressing room. On one such occasion, I overheard a child whining and then a smacking sound followed by more crying. The smack was not excessively hard, but it was audible. I do not know where it landed and at the time, I did not know the age of the child. Five minutes later, I was browsing blouses when an oddly proportioned Haitian nanny pushing a navy blue & baby blue stroller sidled up to me. The woman was very rough with the clothing, very rude in her motions. In order to get past me she pushed over a pocketbook I had placed at my feet to hold up a blouse. I reference this because it was obviously she was a very gruff person. I did not connect her to the dressing room smack because there was another child in the store of about four years old who was giving her mother a terrible time and whining without cause. This nanny was separated by one clothing rack from me when I saw her out of the corner of my eye, bend over, reach down and grab the child by the cheeks and say, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH". She said it slow and deep in an evil sounding voice. She did not scream it. The child then started to cry again. The child was in my best estimation of about 2.2 years old. The child had dark, curly hair and deep set blue eyes. She was dressed in plaid pants/leggings and a long sleeve, thin white or pink shirt. This nanny doesn't need to be just fired, she needs to be stomped upon.

Live-in Nanny wants to become a Live-out

Received Thursday, July 17, 2008 - Perspective and Opinion
I would like some advice on my situation. I have been with a wonderful, kind family for almost a year now since their son was just 6 weeks old. I was hired as a live in , which worked for me at the time. My boyfriend and I were dating but we were not ready to live together so it was best we had seperate living quarters . We have gotten a lot closer and are talking about engagement, etc . Currently I stay with him a few nights a week and always on the weekends. My bosses are ok with this because I am always there by the time the mother leaves for work (630 am). Dad leaves at different times but the majority of the time he leaves at 9. When my contract comes up in September I would like to ask if I can be a live out and perhaps renegotiate my hours. To get there by 630am I have to leave my boyfriends apartment by 530 am. Also live outs get paid more than live ins, so should I explain that to them?? How should I approach this??

16 July, 2008

5N around Burbank, CA

Received Wednesday, July 16, 2008
nanny sighting logo Today around 4pm I was driving on the 5N around Burbank, CA when I noticed a guy driving a motorcycle with a little girl on the back. She was around 5-7 yrs. old. She had bright pink pants on & a white top, she was asian american.

The guy was going about 85mph (at least) & then I noticed that the little girls' helmet came off...it was dangeling behind her. Luckily it was strapped on. Obviously too big for her. I had to tell him that it fell off (after I sped up to catch up to him).

I'm hoping that someone might read this post & know who this guy was. This little girl should NOT of been on the back of a motorcycle, going in & out of traffic, between cars, going at the least 85 when there was no traffic, with a helmet that didn't fit her. She was young enough that she should've been in a carseat, that's how little she was. She was hanging on for dear life.

Anyway, he was on the 5n-118 towards Northridge. If anyone knows who this could possibly be. Please let him know how dangerous this was. I've been thinking about her all afternoon thinking about what could've happened...

Wait, what?

Received Wednesday, July 16, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Am I the only nanny who has ever given a child chewable Dramamine on a long, hot summer afternoon? I got back from the park today and I was too tired to go on, but -the child- showed no signs of tiring. Is there something natural that you would recommend? Don't judge, I work 14 hour days sometimes.

Bryant Park in NYC

Received Wednesday, July 16, 2008
nanny sighting logoI was sitting quietly in Bryant Park this afternoon (Wednesday July 16th) around 4 PM, when a nanny and her charge sat down behind me and I was disturbed by what I heard and saw.

The nanny, who appeared to me to be Indian with shoulder-length brown hair, was wearing a light blue t-shirt and blue jeans with sunglasses on her head. The boy, who I overheard was 3, had light brown hair cut in a bowl cut and was wearing a white polo, blue shorts and sandals. They had a gray stroller, an orange "Cars" sippy cup, and coloring supplies.

There was no physical abuse involved, I will admit that, but the emotional trauma that this nanny was inflicting on the poor little boy saddened me. They were coloring together and she yelled at him everytime he went outside the lines and grabbed his hand to force him to stay inside of them and also told him that he was not being a nice boy for not listening to her when she said that people aren't allowed to color outside the lines. When he got more than five feet away from her, rather than going after him, she would yell at him to come back and convince him to do so by threatening him sourly saying, "if you don't come back, someone will take you away. You don't want that, do you?" He later asked why he couldn't run on the lawn (it was closed), and the nanny responded by snapping, "I don't know! Stop asking!"

In general, she was simply being cold and showed not a hint of concern, compassion or care for this boy in the hour that I observed them. He was a quiet, sweet child from all that I saw (and I'm a nanny, so if I thought the kid was a monster, I wouldn't be posting this here). I felt so badly for this little boy who's growing up constantly being yelled at and chastized and hope that he gets a nanny who cares for him soon.

"I really can't stand the child I'm sitting for."

Received Wednesday, July 16, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I really can't stand the child I'm sitting for.

I started a new job recently and I have a huge problem. Not only can I not bond with the child I'm caring for, but I literally can't stand her! Since I get paid well and they are very accommodating, I'm wondering what I should say to the parents.

I know I have to quit, but they spent so long looking for the right sitter, screening people for months, etc. I feel guilty. I know for a fact I was on their short list and beat out several candidates because of my experience and references but I can't stay! I'm never going to bond with this child or even grow to like her.

I've been with them 2 months and already mentioned to the mother I don't think it's working out and she was upset and said they are counting on me. I realize I will put the mom in a bind but I also cannot possibly continue to care for a child I dislike. This has never happened to me in the 12+ years experience I have.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

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15 July, 2008

....but not a vaginal rejuvenation.

Received Tuesday, July 15, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I am so angry, I could throw myself out the window. But I'd have to clean up the mess. So I won't. I have worked for the same family for six months. It has been a pretty good experience. The children are great, the hours are fair, the pay is good and Mom and Dad trust my judgment and let me plan the days and handle the work week exclusively. Last week, "Mom" and I are talking about the children and how wonderful they are. Mom looks longingly at her 'baby' and says, 'she's my last one'. The way she said it seemed sad. Then Mom tells me she is having a "female surgery" on Friday (7/18) and will be in bed most of the weekend and not much fun for the children. I suggest that I could take the children on Saturday to Coney Island for the day. It will be my treat, I say. The mom seems very appreciative. She thanks me and says that would be wonderful. All of this seems just fine right? Today I learned that Mom's 'female surgery' is all about having her vagina refurbished. There is no pressing medical condition. I had imagined biopsies, cancers, hysterectomy....but not a vaginal rejuvenation. I feel like I have been deceived. I am now going to work for free all day on a Saturday ($200 min. loss) and pay for everything ($200 approximately).

A Question of Loyalty?

Received Tuesday, July 15, 2008- Rant
update received 7/16/08
OP of "A Question of Loyalty? " here. I would really like my post removed. I should have known there would be a ton of controversy about me being worried about the family I care for. If I could please have it removed, I would appreciate it.

Okay, so it's been deleted.

14 July, 2008

Starbucks at 1st & 75th in NYC

Received Monday, July 14, 2008
nanny sighting logo Who: Your Nanny
Where: Starbucks Coffee
When: This morning approx 9:45 AM
Nanny: glasses, black, pony tail, round face, cherub cheeks, no make up, black pants with a thick white stripe down one side, grey Oakland Raiders t-shirt, tennis shoes.
Child or Children: One girl, white, two pony tails in red pony holders, blonde, approx 1.5 year of age, blue and white gingham dress with big flowers on the bottom, red sandals.
Stroller: Grey and black metal with Orange fabric, all orange fabric.
What happened: Nanny was having a frozen shake drink and what looked like a 'blondie' and reading a NYPost. Little girl was in stroller crying for juice. The nanny handed her the juice cup (yellow Dora) twice, shaking it, it was evident it was empty but she did it just to appease the people who were watching her. The nanny then took the little girl up to straighten her out and handled her real tight around her body. The baby started crying, and tho it was obvious the nanny had been rough, she started cooing to the baby, 'there there, there there". The baby settled down for a bit and the nanny leisurely sipped her mammoth beverage. The child looked scared and uncomfortable. The child was also covered up with two blankets when the nanny repositioned her despite the fact it felt warm inside and was definitely warm outside. The baby again offered her empty cup to the nanny. I am certain she could have gotten water for free for the child, but she ignored her completely. I think this is a nanny about to break. And it's only Monday morning.