Sunday

Madison Square Park in NYC

Received Sunday, July 20, 2008
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On July 15, a Caribbean nanny in late 40's with short hair with bits of gray. She was wearing a denim skirt and button down short sleeve white shirt with tennis shoes. She is very overweight but seems energetic (just using as a description). The child's name is Grace and she looks to be around 5 and was coming from school that day. She is blonde and was wearing a school uniform (green/blue skirt white shirt).

Your nanny does not like you (husband/mother and child). She was nice to the girl when speaking to her but as soon as she left she returned to bad mouthing your whole family to her group of about 5 friends (all Caribbean nannies judging from accents). She said your daughter is a "whiney bitch like her mother" and complains non stop about everything. She then began to divulge VERY personal things about you, and your home such as personal hygiene habits, eating and drinking habits and your valuable possessions. She also gave a detailed description of your building and work places. She said she would leave but you pay too well and she does not want to lose the money so she "will put up with the snotty brat and her asshole parents" as long as she can.

I am a nanny and was standing nearby and really was appalled by what I heard. I was not eavesdropping as she is very loud and anyone near could not help but hear everything she said. Her disdain for your child, you and her job are VERY apparent and she clearly did not care who heard for the 20 min or more that she complained (I left the area and came back several times and she was still at it).

35 comments:

JerseyXJacqui said...

Wow. Good looking out, OP. Whether or not the parents ARE in fact "assholes," it's not fair to take it out on the child. If she's badmouthing the kid, I can't even imagine how she treats her.

j.d.c.f.b said...

So she was badmouthing her employers, we have all done it! I work with children also, some are more difficult than others, and invariably, their parents are the most difficult also. No different than someone who is badmouthing the corporation they work for or the boss they work for at that corporation. Can't fire someone on word of mouth.
Besides, even though you say she was badmouthing the child, it does not mean she is abusive or neglectful towards the child in private.
Bring on the flamin'!

Sprak said...

So sad to hear that a nanny who has been entrusted with the care of someone's child has such utter disregard for the child and the family. It pains me that creatures like this not only exist in our society, but do so by taking money from the very people that they so disrespect. It's one good reason why we all must keep a wary eye out for despicable childminders who may be capable of neglecting or abusing a child. Even though nothing of that nature occurred in this sighting, who's to say what might be taking place out of the sight of the public and the parents when a child is being cared for by someone who no real concern for the child?

Metronanny said...

Ok OP and every one please don't take this the wrong way but I think OP might be stretching the truth a bit. Why?

I have many friends who are Caribbean nannies and when they get talking among themselves, they do so in Patois, a bastardization of English. It is very difficult to understand unless you are very familiar with it. Terms Like "Asshole" and "snotty brat" are not really terms they would use. They have their own slang they use and again, unless you are really familiar with it, you would not understand what they are saying.

Please don't take offense OP, I'm just pointing out something that strikes me as a little odd. That's all.

Metronanny said...

Let me correct myself and say Patois is a bastardization of English as explained to me by a Friend from Jamaica. I know the actual definition of Patois may be a little different but that's what they call the slang filled dialect they speak.

Kate said...

I know a ton of 'island' nannies and they speak English with one another in the Tribeca parks my charges & I frequent. I assume it would be the same way just a little bit uptown.

NYnanny said...

Metro nanny I heard those exact words why would I make that up? They all spoke english and no Patois (I too am familiar with it as I hear it often). It is word for word what I heard when I was standing near the group. And as for the other above comment sure we all complain about our jobs but not in a public park talking loudly and saying the private things she was. It's not like they were sitting in her home or a less public place she was surrounded by other nannies and mothers. I in no way shape or form said she was mean to the child, she just simply seems to hate her. I think that no matter what people are like (we don't know this family) their private business and personal possessions should not be broadcast.

cfg said...

OP was only taking a stab at where they were from, it does NOT mean this post isn't true -- she just may have gotten where the nanny was from wrong.

And to alphabet soup -
You can feel some disdain for a person you work for, we're only human, but this nanny had no decorum whatsoever! What she did is NOT o.k., and it was very uncouth.

free said...

Wow, very unprofessional. And I think that if I were overheard by someone who knew my boss saying private personal things about them to other people, hell yeah I'd get fired legal or not. People hate their jobs just take your ranting inside or keep it private. I bet the parents are oblivious to how much disdain this woman has for them.

UmassSlytherin said...

This, to me, is a question of professionalism. Sure you can hate anyone you want to, but you do have to be careful who you are talking about and stuff. If you're not, then you deserve what you get.

"If wisdom's ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care:
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when and where."

Metronanny said...

Ok sorry OP, it just struck me as odd as all the years I've been working in the midst of Carribean nannies, I've never heard a bunch of them talking together in anything but Patois. Sorry if I offended you.

nynanny said...

No worries metronanny I really only heard her do most of the talking and it was all in clear english but with a Caribbean accent. They might have been at other times but those clearly were the terms used. I always am taken aback when people refer to children using those words so it really stuck with me.

lynn said...

What school that issues uniforms is in session in July??

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NANNY said...
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Tribecamum said...

9:59 As a nanny employer I NEVER badmouth my nanny or in public list her private affairs. This was unprofessional and if you agree with this than you too are unprofessional. Most comments agree that everyone complains about their job, it should not, however be done in a public setting. It's inexcusable.

nynanny said...

9:08 I don't know but she had a backpack and was wearing a uniform looking outfit. Unless she just wore it and was coming from camp.

nynanny said...

AND to 9:59 yes I do have bad days and being a nanny can be a thankless job but I NEVER speak about my bosses like that in a public setting nor do I refer to their children in such horrible terms or reveal any of their personal habits.

No Longer Anonymous Regular said...

Anonymous: Actually, it is not acceptable to voice how much you dislike your boss in any professional job. I am an executive in a Fortune 100 company. I can tell you, the senior executive team I work with are mostly A-holes with a capital A. I would never say that to anyone in public. It's just not professional behavior and you never know how a comment might come back to bite you.

Although Nanny is a professional position, unfortunately there are many unprofessional amateurs who call themselves Nannies who tarnish the reputation of true Nannies. My Nanny is as much of a professional as I am (maybe more--since I did post the above comment :) ) She would never have so much disregard for her job that she would discuss her employer's personal business in public. And any REAL Nanny who dislikes her charge so much would not stay on with that charge.

Marypoppin'pills said...

9:41/Nanny
We appreciate the re-post, but have to delete those that are Anonymous and in all CAPS.

V, park slope said...

No one can bitch and moan like a Jamaican nanny. And while some may speak in slang and version of other language (and index to that was printed on here once), most use English.

Sometimes I think they use English just so other employers can hear them. They way some of these Jamaican nannies talk, you would think their employer works for them.

"And I told her, I said"

They are always telling stories about how they told her or they laid down the law or they told her what they wouldn't do or would do.

BIG BOUT YAH said...

We tell it like it is. We stand up for ourselfs. Anyone has a problem with it is jelous because you take all the crap and keep it inside. And also, so what if she was bitching to her friends, you said yourself, she wasn't mean to the kid. I wonder what they are paying her. She is probably here on a work visa that she borowed like crazy for and finds out she's only making 300.00 per week to be a slave. She will probably run away and find work with someone else. I hope she does.

UmassSlytherin said...

lmao. oh my.

I am not jealous, I'm really not. Well, I'm jealous of some people. Movies stars. Michael Pitt's cleaning lady. etc. But not people who run their mouths obnoxiously in public.

You shouldn't run your mouth in public about your employers. It's just unwise. As I said before, you deserve to get fired if you get caught doing it. Nobody is saying that you can't stand up for yourself, and nobody is saying you cannot hate your boss (or the child, but that is very sad) but keep it to behind closed doors. Complaining loudly is not standing up for yourself. It's just being obnoxious and rude.

JerseyXJacqui said...

People with class and intelligence are able to stand up for themselves without badmouthing others.

And even if she was getting slave-like wages, that does not give her an excuse or a reason to hate the child. I know it's easier said than done to find a new family to work for, but if this nanny hates the child AND the parents that much, she should really consider another line of work or at least a different nanny job. I'm sympathetic to the plight of some nannies, especially those that aren't from the states. A lot of times they ARE treated poorly, underpaid and overworked. They're treated as animals in some extreme cases. However, if they're going to turn that into outright bitter resentment towards the child, then they are in the wrong profession. They're be better off working with the general public, a less impressionable group of people (and often just as bitter :-).

I can assure you though, I am not jealous of you because you "stand up for yourself" by badmouthing the child and your employers behind their backs. There is nothing admirable about that.

DowntoEarth said...

I know someone who was fired for just this reason bad mouthing the owner where we worked. At a very busy luncheon place she was telling someone all the owners personal business. The lady seated in the next booth happened to be his accountant and had seen the employee in the office. The accountant called the owner and explained everything she had heard.
The womans final check was cut before she got back from lunch.
My employer told me it wasn't the name calling he minded because he could be an Ahole, it was the private things she repeated. She took his messages and took care of his mail .
This nanny by telling people about her valuables breached a trust.
Calling her child names also breached a trust. We trust our nannies to be good to our children not to refer to them by nasty names.
I hope that our nanny would bond with my child and if she couldn't that she would look for another job. I don't want someone who is in it for "the money".I want someone who will be good to my children and care about them.
I do not need some woman to sit on a park bench and bad mouth my family and tell things that are privtate. Too bad this employer does not know about this so she can replace her with someone who cares.

westchester wohm said...

I find this thoroughly amusing. Any who is anyone knows that the very best gossip comes from housekeepers and nannies. I'm always friendly to the neighborhood nannies. And my housekeeper reports back to me the gossip from the other housekeepers.

Just this July, I've heard about a tummy tuck, a husband's suspicious cold sore, a well to do couple secretly struggling to make their monthly payments, including mortgage, a nanny who was fired for throwing a cat 10 feet in the air to show her charge that the cat would land on his feet no matter what, a wife who's husband won't take meds for depression, so she got some secretly and crushes them into an energy shake she makes him every morning....

Got to love those chit chatting nannies.

kathleencares said...

The complaining about her employers is not that bad - maybe they are "assholes" and deserve it. It's the exposing their very personal business that is really inappropriate. I'm certain this nanny would be fired over that.

cfg said...

I guess some people missed the part where OP wrote:

"She said she would leave but you pay too well and she does not want to lose the money so she "will put up with the snotty brat and her asshole parents" as long as she can."

Here we have a nanny that IS being paid well, so it isn't that resentment is building up over being paid slave wages.
For whatever reason, she's being spiteful, and it's wrong to divulge such personal information on this family -- who have probably been snowed by her into believing that she adores them and their children.

1:02 PM

MissDee said...

UMass: Who is Michael Pitts? I still don't know who Steve Bartelstein is, then again, I live in WI. *LOL*

12:40-Wow! What else do you have to share with us?

OK, well, all I am going to say that is that when you work with children, you MUST be sensitive and nice to the parents, even though you may not agree with how they raise their children, or their beliefs in childcare. There have been many parents that I have come across in my career in child development that I have loved, some that I took a while to warm up to, and others that I point blank didn't care for. The parents that I didn't particulary like I didn't say mean things about them, nor did I citicize them. I wonder if this nanny knows that what she said could back to the parents? You know, she could be at Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, or anywhere, and she could run her mouth to a friend and not realize that someone who knows the family could be in capacity, listening to every word the nanny said. This is unprofessional, immature behavior, and anyone who works with children knows that children can tell when people don't like them or their family. I think this nanny is lucky she still has a job, because if I was an employer and I heard that my nanny was speaking about me and my family in the manner that this nanny was speaking of her charge and employers, I would start looking for a new nanny.

manhattanmamma said...

People also bullshit a lot to fit in. This may be the case here.
Whatever the reason or reasons this person is wrong for gossiping.

As for Jamaicans standing up for themselves, I can attest to that! We have a woman from Kingston working in our office and she tells it like it is to whomever she needs to, no matter if it's the cleaning lady or the V.P.! Many people comment all the time that they wish they were more like her.

UmassSlytherin said...

Oh, Miss D, he's nobody, just some actor who wouldn't much like me if he met me.


And great post, I agree with you on every point. People just don't seem to use their heads, do they?
:(

FrmrNannyNowaMom said...

Umass,
are you a fan of michael pitt's work or just his looks? If its the former you should really check out Funny Games
its a disturbing film but hes deiciously evil in it

It Happens said...

well, maybe her bosses really are jerks. maybe they feel like since they pay well they can treat her however they want. people who are appreciated and well cared for do not talk like this. hey op, have you ever badmouthed your boss?

UmassSlytherin said...

Nowamom,
I am a fan of Mike's work, his looks, and the ground on which he walks.

Yes, I did see Funny Games. Great flick.

12:43,
Yes, maybe her bosses are jerks. And I have spoken ill of my past bosses, sure. But I wouldn't run my mouth in public where anyone could hear it. That's just dumb.

Miss Gaby UWS said...

wow. It's posts like this that make me appreciate the family I work for even more than I already do. How bad are these people that this nanny is calling them A-Holes? Or maybe she's the A-hole? Who knows. If she is so unhappy, get a new job, but don't speak that way of people in public and display their business out in the street. I am so lucky I absolutely love the family I work for and the child I work for. He is the most perfect baby, and his parents are out of this world when it comes to treating me like family. I can honestly say I am spoiled by them and probably will never find a family this nice. Thanks God I love my job. This lady needs to quit hers before she calls the little girl an A-hole to her face.... very sad.