A Question of Loyalty?

Received Tuesday, July 15, 2008- Rant
update received 7/16/08
OP of "A Question of Loyalty? " here. I would really like my post removed. I should have known there would be a ton of controversy about me being worried about the family I care for. If I could please have it removed, I would appreciate it.

Okay, so it's been deleted.


Emily said...

Perhaps I'm missing something, but I don't get this post. Who are you, OP to make judgements about what this other nanny should or should not do or who she should or should not work for? Do you know all the intimate details about her other job? Do you know her motivation for wanting to make a change?

Marypoppin'pills said...

Maybe things are really bad for her at her other job and this is an easy out for her?
If you're feeling threatened that she's left her other job to take over for you and you won't have a job to come back to, then discuss it with the Parents so you'll feel a little more secure.

Try not to give this Nanny such a hard time. She did afterall, give her former Employer notice.

Anonymous said...

I would be concerned for my own job. I mean, why would she give notice on her other job if this one is just supposed to be for 3 months?

Is it possible that your employers told her that they plan on keeping her and letting you go after your maternity? Is that why she quit her other job?

Anonymous said...

I think that's the subtext to this post--the OP doesn't care about loyalty, she's paranoid about her own job!

Metronanny said...

I have to agree with the general consensus here. Sounds to me like the current nanny is worried and if she isn't, she should be!

But there could be other reasons why the nanny is of family 2 is doing what's she's doing.

Maybe she has another job lined up that doesn't start for a while.

Maybe she plans on moving after this assignment.

If I were you, OP, I might consider talking with your family and asking for a letter stating your return to work date. So there's no chance of any miscommunication which could result in a separation of employment.

Best of luck OP and congratulations on the new baby

UmassSlytherin said...

OP, congratulations on your new addition.

Also, why this nanny took the position is none of your business. Unless, however, you do not have it in writing that you are being allowed to return to your job after your maternity leave.

Uh...you DID get this in writing, I assume? If you didn't, then and only then would I be concerned, and I don't mean concerned that this nanny is not "showing loyalty" to her family. While it is odd to leave a full-time position for a temporary one, she has her reasons: trouble for you if one of those reasons is that the family you are employed by is secretly not wanting you to return.

Good luck, OP.

Anonymous said...

Unless she has a contract and is giving less notice than the contract stipulates, she has a right to quit a job she is apparently not happy in. Maybe she is thinking a three month job will give her time to look for a new family, or explore other options.
I think you are feeling threatened and worried about your job security. If the family thinks enough of you to offer three months maternity leave, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Stay in touch with the children, take the baby over for a visit, and you will feel better. Congratulations, and enjoy your new baby!
A Nanny

Anonymous said...

I'm assuming this is paid leave?
10:48 AM

ericsmom said...

Really how is this your business? O.P. just worry about yourself and your child.

kathleencares said...

I don't see her as being disloyal at all. She's quitting her job to take another one. Who knows why, but it doesn't really matter. Maybe she only wants to take a three month job because she plans on taking some time off after it ends - you have no idea. To be honest, I also think it's tacky that you put her name and description up on the post.

UmassSlytherin said...

(UMass chimes in obnoxiously)

Agreed. Totally tacky.

kate said...

I can't help but hope that your employer sees this post. You may be loyal, but you're also vindictive.

Anonymous said...


northnewjersey said...

As a soon-to-be mother you need to grow-up.
Why would you try posting information about Marlynn on here?

I hope Marlynn reads this site, or better yet your employers.
They can see how childish your acting.

Marissa M. said...

Are you concerned she might do the dame to your family or are you jealous of her working for your family?

Anonymous said...

wow I am kind of surprised that she would put this womans name and physical description in her post.
Sounds more to me she is afraid of not having a job after the 3 months is up and wants to bad mouth this other nanny.
OP YOu have no idea why this woman is leaving her post and taking your for 3 months and this is really a vindictive post.

chick said...

Why are you afraid this nanny is going to take your job?

Is it because you are in need of maternity leave?

Is it because your employers haven't been thrilled with your recent performance?

Is it because you have arranged to bring your child to work with you, and if you lose your job you will have to try to start fresh with a baby on board?

Whatever your reason for being afraid for your job, posting this here is tacky in the extreme.

I agree with Kate - hopefully your employers and their new nanny will see this ASAP.

Anonymous said...

This nanny is about to have a baby, and has all KINDS of fears...let's not be so harsh,eh?
Talk to your employers...ask the hard, scary questions to find our where you'll be with them 3 months down the road. If you need reassurance about the security of your position, ASK for it. Best of luck and Happy Birth!

Anonymous said...

OP here. I am not at all jealous. From what I understand the nanny has been with her current family for quite a while. I am most certain this job pays more than her last. To choose money over the children she watches is heartbreaking. I have had numerous offers to leave for higher paying positions, but it's never crossed my mind to do it. I am too much in love with the child I watch. I have nothing against her as a nanny, I've watched her with my charge, she seems great. But she lacks a heart to do this to her current family. That's all I'm saying.

Anonymous said...

O.k., but you still didn't address whether or not you were worried she would take over your job.
Are you concerned that she will?

Anonymous said...

OP here again. I am not concerned she'll take over my job. I have in writing (an email) that I am to return to work after my three months of maternity leave are up. I don't want the new nanny to leave my family after a few weeks/days, if she finds a job that looks better, pays better, etc.

Moo said...

OP, being a nanny is a JOB. The kids may be great and she may be sad to leave them. If the parents make the job hell though, all the love in the world isn't going to allow most nannies to stay. You also have no idea what her financial situation is like and why she might in fact need a job that pays better. She may see a temp job as a great way to give herself a shot to look for the next long term family. It's none of your business.

Frankly you sound a bit nuts. I'm hoping it's pregnancy hormones.

Anonymous said...

OP yet again. The more I think about it, the more I think you're right. I'm crazy and shouldn't have posted. My family's decision, as well as the nanny's, is their own and I should not worry about it. I want what is best for everyone...

Marypoppin'pills said...

You've made a very sensible move. Maybe your emotions got the better of you, who knows, but you're not crazy.
I'm glad you have some security while you're on leave, and that you'll have a job to go back to. That and your baby should be your main concern.

Hopefully the Nanny that is taking over for you will run things as smoothly as you had, and when you return to work, she will go about her merry way.

Good luck to you and the baby.

Emily said...

I always worry when I hear nannies say that they could never leave the children they work for, whether that be in the context of making more money at another job, moving, etc.

It's a wonderful thing to love the children you care for, but you need to keep some perspective. You aren't the child's mother, you aren't even family like an aunt. Because a nanny fills all the roles of a parent, I think it's even more important to keep balance in how you approach your job, otherwise it becomes a confusing and potentially damaging relationship for the children (and others around you in this circumstance).

OP, I hope that having your own child can return some perspective to how you look at your career and (possibly more importantly, in view of this post) the careers of others. No one should be mother to your child except you.