Received Saturday, September 30, 2006
My friend's nanny would go to story hour at barnes and noble. While the story was being read to my friend's four year old twins, the nanny would do her errands or walk around the shopping center. A few times the nanny would come back far past the time of story hour. The "regulars" started to notice this pattern and called the police and parents(using the nannies cell phone when she finally arrived). Fortunately these children had concerned citizens to help them. It could have faired much worse than the actual outcome.
Saturday
Dangerous neglect at the duck park in Venice, CA
Received Saturday, September 30, 2007
This happened a while ago, but I only just discovered this website. Last June or so (2006), I was in the duck park on Linnie Canal in Venice with my then-six month old. I was the only non-nanny in the place. It was early afternoon. As I walked towards the park on Dell, a nanny and her two adorable Asian children walked near me. It was a boy about 5 and a girl 2- 3. The little boy was sobbing hysterically the entire walk. The nanny said nothing to him, ignored him. She was Mexican/Latin American, and a little flashy, with a fancy handbag and sunglasses. In her 30s, brown hair. When they got to the park, she sat down and immediately whipped out her cellphone. I had never witnessed nanny behavior before and was already shocked. I was pushing my baby on the swing when I saw the little girl walk over to my stroller and try to climb in it. Its a stroller where the seat is a little higher off the ground than most strollers and she was going to fall and get hurt. I RAN over and grabbed her before the whole thing toppled over. The nanny had her back turned the whole time. About 10 minutes later, it happened again, and this time I didn't get there fast enough and the stroller tipped and the little girl fell down to the ground, hard. She was OK, but could easily have broken an arm, banged her head, etc. I stood there helping the little girl and the nanny slowly strolled over. She didn't say anything. I said, "is she yours"; and she said, "she's always doing that".
Mother to these sweet, sad Asian children: GET A NEW NANNY!
This happened a while ago, but I only just discovered this website. Last June or so (2006), I was in the duck park on Linnie Canal in Venice with my then-six month old. I was the only non-nanny in the place. It was early afternoon. As I walked towards the park on Dell, a nanny and her two adorable Asian children walked near me. It was a boy about 5 and a girl 2- 3. The little boy was sobbing hysterically the entire walk. The nanny said nothing to him, ignored him. She was Mexican/Latin American, and a little flashy, with a fancy handbag and sunglasses. In her 30s, brown hair. When they got to the park, she sat down and immediately whipped out her cellphone. I had never witnessed nanny behavior before and was already shocked. I was pushing my baby on the swing when I saw the little girl walk over to my stroller and try to climb in it. Its a stroller where the seat is a little higher off the ground than most strollers and she was going to fall and get hurt. I RAN over and grabbed her before the whole thing toppled over. The nanny had her back turned the whole time. About 10 minutes later, it happened again, and this time I didn't get there fast enough and the stroller tipped and the little girl fell down to the ground, hard. She was OK, but could easily have broken an arm, banged her head, etc. I stood there helping the little girl and the nanny slowly strolled over. She didn't say anything. I said, "is she yours"; and she said, "she's always doing that".
Mother to these sweet, sad Asian children: GET A NEW NANNY!
Friday
Two blocks east of Lake High School on Chicago's northside
Friday, September 29, 2006
I saw a pretty black nanny with curly hair almost dragging a toddler boy with blonde hair by his arm about two blocks east of Lake High School on Chicago's northside. When the boy fell because the nanny was dragging him, she simply left him on the ground until he managed to climb up on his own feet. Not outright abuse but I wouldn't want my childin this unkind person's care. If this is how she treats him publicly, how does she treat him privately?
I saw a pretty black nanny with curly hair almost dragging a toddler boy with blonde hair by his arm about two blocks east of Lake High School on Chicago's northside. When the boy fell because the nanny was dragging him, she simply left him on the ground until he managed to climb up on his own feet. Not outright abuse but I wouldn't want my childin this unkind person's care. If this is how she treats him publicly, how does she treat him privately?
Duboce Park, San Francisco
Friday, September 29th, 2006 1:30-2:30 pm
A large group of 4 & 5 year olds with their daycare; three adults total, one was an older woman, two were perhaps 20. The older woman was methodically going through all the kids' backpacks and throwing away whatever snack they hadn't finished during their break time. (Presumably, so the parents wouldn't complain about the leftovers; e.g. "Why didn't Jimmy finish his Cheerios?") She was throwing all this food to a gang of pigeons right on the playground. Overall, very little supervision; the aides sat to the side talked mostly to each other, occasionally on a phone. I observed several marginally unsafe behaviors (rock throwing, stick poking, sand throwing, seven kids on the slide at once), none of which were observed or corrected by the caregivers.
Beverly Park, Beverly Hills, Illinois
September Friday, September 29, 2006
Two nannies observed on the outskirts of this park & West 101st Street. One had two children in a double stroller that had some rain guard over it, so I cannot tell you anything about the children. She was an attractive, African American nanny who looked to be in her young twenties. Thin. Short "anchorwoman" hairdo. She was talking to her friend who was obviously a nanny and in distress. The friend who had dark brown hair, frizzy, white and pleasant looking wearing an oversized white slicker with faded blue jeans had apparently asked the other nanny to meet her. The friend with the children tried to the friend in distress. (The children seemed fine in the stroller and this exchange only took 5 minutes). The other nanny was saying thing to the effect of "He really thinks he is going to fire me" "He isn't going to fire me" and "He has another thing coming". I get the feeling this nanny found something on your computer indicating you were looking for another nanny or someone called her and accidentally let her know. Her friend told her to "calm down", "relax" and "just go home and carry on as usual" (I am paraphrasing here). I don't have a nanny. I have never been a nanny but I certainly find nannies and those who have nannies a curious lot. I am one who believes you can judge a book by a cover and both of these young women/girls looked like good people. The nanny attempting to calm the other nanny said repeatedly "you don't deserve this, this isn't fair but you need to calm down". The possibly about to be fired nanny replied to the effect of "I am not taking this lying down" Then she referenced how you might feel if she copied your computer's hard drive. The about to be fired nanny made reference to the fact she had been there for either two or three years "and this is how he repays me". The nanny with the children apologized to the friend but said she had to go because she didn't want to be caught in the rain. Is this a bad nanny observation? No. What is it? A curious exchange between nannies. One of whom appeared to be truly distraught and heartbroken. Which bring to mind my point, I have five persons employed underneath me and if they don't do the job as specified, I am held accountable. Except in rare incidents of abuse, nannies behaving badly seems to be nothing more than a poorly managed workforce. This is further indicated by the fact that an employer goes behind his employee's back and plans to fire her and does so in such a sloppy way that the nanny somehow finds out. Long ago, I realized that the best motivator for my employees was to treat them with the utmost regard. My employees have made a lot of money for me. This is me, in the corporate world dealing with grown men and dollar signs. How is it possible that a nanny-who in most cases effortlessly gives of herself to your children in addition to being entrusted with safeguarding their very welfare are not afforded the same respect by their employers as I afford my employees? I have to admit, I'm secretly rooting for the nanny.
Two nannies observed on the outskirts of this park & West 101st Street. One had two children in a double stroller that had some rain guard over it, so I cannot tell you anything about the children. She was an attractive, African American nanny who looked to be in her young twenties. Thin. Short "anchorwoman" hairdo. She was talking to her friend who was obviously a nanny and in distress. The friend who had dark brown hair, frizzy, white and pleasant looking wearing an oversized white slicker with faded blue jeans had apparently asked the other nanny to meet her. The friend with the children tried to the friend in distress. (The children seemed fine in the stroller and this exchange only took 5 minutes). The other nanny was saying thing to the effect of "He really thinks he is going to fire me" "He isn't going to fire me" and "He has another thing coming". I get the feeling this nanny found something on your computer indicating you were looking for another nanny or someone called her and accidentally let her know. Her friend told her to "calm down", "relax" and "just go home and carry on as usual" (I am paraphrasing here). I don't have a nanny. I have never been a nanny but I certainly find nannies and those who have nannies a curious lot. I am one who believes you can judge a book by a cover and both of these young women/girls looked like good people. The nanny attempting to calm the other nanny said repeatedly "you don't deserve this, this isn't fair but you need to calm down". The possibly about to be fired nanny replied to the effect of "I am not taking this lying down" Then she referenced how you might feel if she copied your computer's hard drive. The about to be fired nanny made reference to the fact she had been there for either two or three years "and this is how he repays me". The nanny with the children apologized to the friend but said she had to go because she didn't want to be caught in the rain. Is this a bad nanny observation? No. What is it? A curious exchange between nannies. One of whom appeared to be truly distraught and heartbroken. Which bring to mind my point, I have five persons employed underneath me and if they don't do the job as specified, I am held accountable. Except in rare incidents of abuse, nannies behaving badly seems to be nothing more than a poorly managed workforce. This is further indicated by the fact that an employer goes behind his employee's back and plans to fire her and does so in such a sloppy way that the nanny somehow finds out. Long ago, I realized that the best motivator for my employees was to treat them with the utmost regard. My employees have made a lot of money for me. This is me, in the corporate world dealing with grown men and dollar signs. How is it possible that a nanny-who in most cases effortlessly gives of herself to your children in addition to being entrusted with safeguarding their very welfare are not afforded the same respect by their employers as I afford my employees? I have to admit, I'm secretly rooting for the nanny.
Big Lots Store at Bristol St. in Santa Ana, CA - Lic. Plate No. 5FJW???
Friday, September 29, 2006
If you can give me the last three digits of either you or your nanny's Gold/Tan Lincoln Navigator, I have very important information regarding the injury and neglect (from both caretaker and store employees) I witnessed your child suffer today in a Big Lots store off of Bristol in Santa Ana, CA. The caretaker was an older woman, spoke primarily Spanish, about 5'2" and 190lbs, very short dark and tight curly hair, walks with a limp. The child is about 3yrs old, bright brown eyes, light brown skin, dark brown gelled hair.
PLEASE email me! super_mommie@sbcglobal.net
Signed,
Concerned Parent
If you can give me the last three digits of either you or your nanny's Gold/Tan Lincoln Navigator, I have very important information regarding the injury and neglect (from both caretaker and store employees) I witnessed your child suffer today in a Big Lots store off of Bristol in Santa Ana, CA. The caretaker was an older woman, spoke primarily Spanish, about 5'2" and 190lbs, very short dark and tight curly hair, walks with a limp. The child is about 3yrs old, bright brown eyes, light brown skin, dark brown gelled hair.
PLEASE email me! super_mommie@sbcglobal.net
Signed,
Concerned Parent
Update on Monterey Ridge School in Rancho Bernardo, CA
Received Friday, September 29, 2006
This story has a rather sad ending. The parents have been informed of all the nanny's actions and have decided to "keep an eye on her" for anything further, but have "spoken with her" and let her know their concerns. They did say if she did anything further she would be let go, but you have to wonder what the next step might be that they would consider abusive enough to fire her. It ultimately is the parents decision and I have no idea what the nanny's reasoning for this behavior was. (To read the original submission, click here).
Unfortunately, not every story ends well, but thank you so much to everyone who put in a positive comment and really tried to help.
This story has a rather sad ending. The parents have been informed of all the nanny's actions and have decided to "keep an eye on her" for anything further, but have "spoken with her" and let her know their concerns. They did say if she did anything further she would be let go, but you have to wonder what the next step might be that they would consider abusive enough to fire her. It ultimately is the parents decision and I have no idea what the nanny's reasoning for this behavior was. (To read the original submission, click here).
Unfortunately, not every story ends well, but thank you so much to everyone who put in a positive comment and really tried to help.
The New York Times article referenced in the Friendly's Post
To understand the relevance of the Friendly's post, please read this I believe the person who sent it in did so in keeping with the theme of the article.
Denensmouth Ave, Central Park
Received Thursday, September 28, 2006
I was leaving the children's zoo are at central park and walking out on Denensmouth Ave. towards 5th Avenue at around five p.m. when I observed the following:
An older African American nanny in her fifties, black, medium height with a round type figure wearing a denim skirt that went just below her knees, white tennis shoes and a beige cotton shirt was walking ahead of me. She was holding a boy that I assessed to be about six years old by his upper arm. The child was wearing a blue polo shirt, khakis and was African American. He was crying as he was walking and the nanny continued to berate him saying,"you will learn you don't talk to me like that ever again, won't you?". The little kid could barely look up but she asked and asked until he answered, "no". And at that time she snapped, "oh don't you sass me". I can't imagine what this little kid did. Obviously he said the wrong thing, but let it go already. I have a nanny and she would never ever touch my child like that, unless you are jerking a child out of harm's way or holding a child's hand, keep your hands off of children!
I was leaving the children's zoo are at central park and walking out on Denensmouth Ave. towards 5th Avenue at around five p.m. when I observed the following:
An older African American nanny in her fifties, black, medium height with a round type figure wearing a denim skirt that went just below her knees, white tennis shoes and a beige cotton shirt was walking ahead of me. She was holding a boy that I assessed to be about six years old by his upper arm. The child was wearing a blue polo shirt, khakis and was African American. He was crying as he was walking and the nanny continued to berate him saying,"you will learn you don't talk to me like that ever again, won't you?". The little kid could barely look up but she asked and asked until he answered, "no". And at that time she snapped, "oh don't you sass me". I can't imagine what this little kid did. Obviously he said the wrong thing, but let it go already. I have a nanny and she would never ever touch my child like that, unless you are jerking a child out of harm's way or holding a child's hand, keep your hands off of children!
Friendly's Restaurant Baltimore, Maryland
Received Thursday, September 28, 2006
I read the article in the New York times which referenced this site and nutrition. Coincidentally, last night (Wednesday) I had taken two of my daughter's friends to Friendly's on Bel Air Road in Baltimore. I oberved a strange incident with a person I believe to be the nanny. The little girl she took care of called her Kate. The woman Kate was in her twenties and blonde with a loose ponytail. She wore a grey hooded sweatshirt with cargo pants. The little girl might have been named "Bella" or "Ella". But I am not certain. Anyway the nanny had a burger or something with fries. The child had chicken with fries. The nanny took every chicken strip and cut away all of the breading. This is not unusual in itself. The little girl was like "can you just leave the coating on one" The nanny who was not mean about it was like, "no, you know what mommy says". Then the nanny counted out six french fries for the little girl. The little girl was negotiating with her over trading in one of the six french friend for one big one she had her eye on. (She was not allowed). The nanny made certain the little girl finished her water before they left. They paid the bill and left. Obviously this nanny is just doing what her employer asked her to do but GASP. She was four or maybe five years old! I thought I would share this observation with you given what I read in the New York Times. I don't think this obsession with food is healthy. I am certain that a four year old bartering for one bigger french fry is not going to end well!
I read the article in the New York times which referenced this site and nutrition. Coincidentally, last night (Wednesday) I had taken two of my daughter's friends to Friendly's on Bel Air Road in Baltimore. I oberved a strange incident with a person I believe to be the nanny. The little girl she took care of called her Kate. The woman Kate was in her twenties and blonde with a loose ponytail. She wore a grey hooded sweatshirt with cargo pants. The little girl might have been named "Bella" or "Ella". But I am not certain. Anyway the nanny had a burger or something with fries. The child had chicken with fries. The nanny took every chicken strip and cut away all of the breading. This is not unusual in itself. The little girl was like "can you just leave the coating on one" The nanny who was not mean about it was like, "no, you know what mommy says". Then the nanny counted out six french fries for the little girl. The little girl was negotiating with her over trading in one of the six french friend for one big one she had her eye on. (She was not allowed). The nanny made certain the little girl finished her water before they left. They paid the bill and left. Obviously this nanny is just doing what her employer asked her to do but GASP. She was four or maybe five years old! I thought I would share this observation with you given what I read in the New York Times. I don't think this obsession with food is healthy. I am certain that a four year old bartering for one bigger french fry is not going to end well!
Thursday
Still looking for the mother of Lucas and Elias
Dracena Park & the Park on Linda Avenue
I attempted (9/28/2006) to get an update from Parkmom regarding her post on Lucas (approximately 2 years of age) and Elias (under 1 year – around 10 months) who reside in the Piedmont, California area. She informs me that no one has contacted her as of yet. Parkmom feels she has witnessed neglectful behavior and would like to hear from the mother of Lucas and Elias.
I attempted (9/28/2006) to get an update from Parkmom regarding her post on Lucas (approximately 2 years of age) and Elias (under 1 year – around 10 months) who reside in the Piedmont, California area. She informs me that no one has contacted her as of yet. Parkmom feels she has witnessed neglectful behavior and would like to hear from the mother of Lucas and Elias.
Park in Tarzana, CA
Received Thursday, September 28, 2006
Your son is Jaden, 3 years old. Your nanny is approx. 40's dark hair, does not speak English, as far as I can tell. Every time I go to the park - on weekdays and weekends, Jaden is there playing by himself and being COMPLETELY ignored by the nanny. It's a fenced neighborhood park next to a softball field and recreation center. She puts on huge headphones blaring music and stares into space while Jaden wanders around the park alone. He's really hungry for attention and is a sweet, articulate little boy. I wouldn't trust this woman with my dog.
This entry was edited on 10/2/06 to remove the details of the Park.
Your son is Jaden, 3 years old. Your nanny is approx. 40's dark hair, does not speak English, as far as I can tell. Every time I go to the park - on weekdays and weekends, Jaden is there playing by himself and being COMPLETELY ignored by the nanny. It's a fenced neighborhood park next to a softball field and recreation center. She puts on huge headphones blaring music and stares into space while Jaden wanders around the park alone. He's really hungry for attention and is a sweet, articulate little boy. I wouldn't trust this woman with my dog.
This entry was edited on 10/2/06 to remove the details of the Park.
The Good Nanny Sighting............
Received Thursday, September 26, 2006
Midtown Manhattan, on West 57th Street (@ corner of 6th Ave), front of apt building, bus stop next to Rue 57 restaurant. I quite often walk past a nanny with her charge on my way to work, and they truly brighten up my day. She is African American, middle age, her charge is a male Caucasian toddler of around 3-4 yrs old. Usually they are both just standing around or probably waiting for someone, but there is absolutely no denying or second guessing just how happy or well adjusted this little boy is, and how comfortable he is to be with her. Her caring and patience shines through each and every time I happen to see them out there. Seeing these 2 together always bring a smile to my face, it's a very comforting emotion. Given all the horror stories and mishaps some babies and toddlers experience, this Nanny and this little boy, both are truly blessed. I hope the parents of this little boy recognize and appreciate what a gift they have in her. --Kelly, NYC
Reminder, we had hoped to add a Nanny of The Week feauture and encourage those of you who have benefit of employing one of the many wonderful nannies out there, please send you story to us at Isawyournanny@cooltoad.com .
Midtown Manhattan, on West 57th Street (@ corner of 6th Ave), front of apt building, bus stop next to Rue 57 restaurant. I quite often walk past a nanny with her charge on my way to work, and they truly brighten up my day. She is African American, middle age, her charge is a male Caucasian toddler of around 3-4 yrs old. Usually they are both just standing around or probably waiting for someone, but there is absolutely no denying or second guessing just how happy or well adjusted this little boy is, and how comfortable he is to be with her. Her caring and patience shines through each and every time I happen to see them out there. Seeing these 2 together always bring a smile to my face, it's a very comforting emotion. Given all the horror stories and mishaps some babies and toddlers experience, this Nanny and this little boy, both are truly blessed. I hope the parents of this little boy recognize and appreciate what a gift they have in her. --Kelly, NYC
Reminder, we had hoped to add a Nanny of The Week feauture and encourage those of you who have benefit of employing one of the many wonderful nannies out there, please send you story to us at Isawyournanny@cooltoad.com .
A Father's Experience with the Nanny Game
Received Thursday, September 28, 2006
My wife and I have been through some interesting... processes... with several nannies.
Our longest relationship with a nanny -- whom our four-year-old son adored, and, still, years on, remembers frequently -- included helping her deal with the truly bad behavior of her drug-dealing, drug-using partner-of-choice, and her own drinking, which -- while it did not take place while she was with our son (as far as we know) -- did on a weekly basis cause her to 'call in sick', setting off that cascading chain of schedule failures among me, my wife, and our clients that I'm sure other readers know well.
I have sympathy for the 'be positive about nannies when you can' position, and very little for the holier-than-thou position parents like to adopt with nannies.
When we decide to bring a nanny into the care-giving process for our children, we are not hiring an employee. We are adding a member to the family, a member with the emotional authority and responsibility of a parent -- and I think we have a moral obligation to accord that member of the family the same care and understanding (and, yes, tough love, too) we accord to any other family member.
I am still not done sorting out what I observed about, and learned from, this particular nanny, but I can say this: in our case at least, my son had three parents, and we had an odd sort of intimate relationship with our nanny. The nanny's close and loving relationship with my son threatened both my wife and me, at times, and we reacted badly on those occasions, usually. We didn't want to be usurped. The nanny herself got confused from time to time about who my son's mother was, and felt it was appropriate, more than once, to tell my son that in essence his mother was clueless. Our nanny made rather overt attempts to compensate for what she saw as our 'failings' as parents, particularly our failure to bring our son up within an established religion -- she snuck my son off to the local church at least once a week.
And, like me, and like my wife, she carried tons of baggage from her childhood and rearing into her work as a nanny, and, when in doubt, did what was done to her as a child. She lied to us, repeatedly, was unreliable in the extreme, and caused huge amounts of emotional discord between me and my wife.
And we depended on her, utterly. And gave into her charge our son.
Our nanny left us, after almost three years, when -- at 35 years of age, mind you -- she decided she needed to get off the sauce and get a 'real job.' She went home -- to her father. Everyone cried for hours the day she left.
We've had other nannies since then. Our current nanny likes taking our son to the Dollar Store (every day, nearly), and so our house is filled with plastic toys made in China, and my son's head is filled with all the basic rules of American consumerism. She also likes to spend time with her mother-in-law, who's a professional foster mom specializing in the care of kids whose parents are doing time for meth convictions, so my son runs with a pack of older kids from broken homes (some of whom have two parents in the can), who have taught him about guns (verboten in our house), police, jail visits and other things we'd rather not have him exposed to.
Just the other day -- our current nanny relates to us in a breezy tone -- our four-year-old held a six-year-old in his arms while the six-year-old bawled because, the night before, both his parents were hauled off by the cops for dealing.
My wife is a perpetually furious with our current nanny as she was with our alcoholic no-sense-of-boundaries nanny. Yesterday, she suggested we call our long-running ex-nanny at her father's house and offer to bring her back, house her, help her get back on her feet, just to have her back in our lives, and our son's life. And the idea appealed to me. Better the Lutheran God than the Dollar Store. Better booze than meth. For sure.
A nanny isn't an employee, to whom you can hand a (however detailed) job description, and whom you can correct, discipline, fire. The contract we offer our nannies is the contract a family offers a family member -- mostly unspoken, hard to interpret, frequently violated. And I also know that I could chose to live another way -- a way that put my son not 'first among equals' with job and marriage, but actually first. I could stop working. I could be his primary, daily caregiver, and then he'd be surrounded by the neuroses and bad habits and failings of his father, not his nanny. My wife could make peace with the ambitions and plans that motherhood has delayed or altogether thwarted, and be that primary caregiver. She -- or I -- could spend all day, every day, focused solely on the well-being of our son.
I readily admit that I personally cannot make the change I know to be possible. I am too selfish. Perhaps there is a saint among us who can cast that sharp and heavy stone, and say to me, with complete authenticity: you shouldn't have had a child, then. But I doubt it. Nannies are the embodiments of our selfishness, our desire to have time for other things, and as such they are a constant reproach to us, just by being, by standing there holding our children while we pack our bag for that quick trip out of town. We load our own guilt and freakishness onto them, as surely as they bring their failings and frailties to their work.
My wife -- for whom this is a serious, daily, issue -- periodically decides to boot the nanny-o'-the-moment and immerse herself totally in care-giving. I convince her not to do so. I don't want my wife to make a change, because I want life-after-childhood for her, and with her. Each day, I want her to have a few hours to dream, screw around, plan, create. Otherwise, I am afraid she will emerge from that first period of intense mothering so drained of herself that I will have lost my wife, in some material ways, forever. This idea is intolerable to me, in part because I saw such a terminal exhaustion happen, in my first marriage, with my elder son. He had no nanny. And by age 8, he also had no mother. She had been....evacuated. And in my estimation she has never recovered, may never recover.
So we have a nanny. Several nannies. We're serial nanny-izers, really. And our son will pay whatever price there is to pay for these decisions of ours, and perhaps when he is older he will take us to task for those decisions, in one way or another. I watch closely for signs that the price is too high, and I see no signs that he's paying any significant price so far -- no bruises, no strangeness. He trips down the streets of cities in foreign countries, introducing himself to strangers and babbling about his new puppy and his rugby ball. All seems well.
But I'm sure he's had a lot of soda, and times when he ran amok on playgrounds and in shopping malls while his nanny screwed off. And I am sure that he's seen a thing or two that no child should see.
I read these blog postings -- of nannies dangling shoes as toys and slipping soda into sippy cups and being otherwise human (along with the postings about monsters, I'll grant you) -- and I wonder if the posters incensed by the soda and the shoes ever reflect on the fundamental salient fact that nannies enter our lives because of choices we make, and remain there (or not) because of choices we make.
Everyone is culpable. Only a few are ever, truly, guilty. And anyone telling a story in which one party is wholly innocent, and the other wholly guilty, is not to be trusted.
My wife and I have been through some interesting... processes... with several nannies.
Our longest relationship with a nanny -- whom our four-year-old son adored, and, still, years on, remembers frequently -- included helping her deal with the truly bad behavior of her drug-dealing, drug-using partner-of-choice, and her own drinking, which -- while it did not take place while she was with our son (as far as we know) -- did on a weekly basis cause her to 'call in sick', setting off that cascading chain of schedule failures among me, my wife, and our clients that I'm sure other readers know well.
I have sympathy for the 'be positive about nannies when you can' position, and very little for the holier-than-thou position parents like to adopt with nannies.
When we decide to bring a nanny into the care-giving process for our children, we are not hiring an employee. We are adding a member to the family, a member with the emotional authority and responsibility of a parent -- and I think we have a moral obligation to accord that member of the family the same care and understanding (and, yes, tough love, too) we accord to any other family member.
I am still not done sorting out what I observed about, and learned from, this particular nanny, but I can say this: in our case at least, my son had three parents, and we had an odd sort of intimate relationship with our nanny. The nanny's close and loving relationship with my son threatened both my wife and me, at times, and we reacted badly on those occasions, usually. We didn't want to be usurped. The nanny herself got confused from time to time about who my son's mother was, and felt it was appropriate, more than once, to tell my son that in essence his mother was clueless. Our nanny made rather overt attempts to compensate for what she saw as our 'failings' as parents, particularly our failure to bring our son up within an established religion -- she snuck my son off to the local church at least once a week.
And, like me, and like my wife, she carried tons of baggage from her childhood and rearing into her work as a nanny, and, when in doubt, did what was done to her as a child. She lied to us, repeatedly, was unreliable in the extreme, and caused huge amounts of emotional discord between me and my wife.
And we depended on her, utterly. And gave into her charge our son.
Our nanny left us, after almost three years, when -- at 35 years of age, mind you -- she decided she needed to get off the sauce and get a 'real job.' She went home -- to her father. Everyone cried for hours the day she left.
We've had other nannies since then. Our current nanny likes taking our son to the Dollar Store (every day, nearly), and so our house is filled with plastic toys made in China, and my son's head is filled with all the basic rules of American consumerism. She also likes to spend time with her mother-in-law, who's a professional foster mom specializing in the care of kids whose parents are doing time for meth convictions, so my son runs with a pack of older kids from broken homes (some of whom have two parents in the can), who have taught him about guns (verboten in our house), police, jail visits and other things we'd rather not have him exposed to.
Just the other day -- our current nanny relates to us in a breezy tone -- our four-year-old held a six-year-old in his arms while the six-year-old bawled because, the night before, both his parents were hauled off by the cops for dealing.
My wife is a perpetually furious with our current nanny as she was with our alcoholic no-sense-of-boundaries nanny. Yesterday, she suggested we call our long-running ex-nanny at her father's house and offer to bring her back, house her, help her get back on her feet, just to have her back in our lives, and our son's life. And the idea appealed to me. Better the Lutheran God than the Dollar Store. Better booze than meth. For sure.
A nanny isn't an employee, to whom you can hand a (however detailed) job description, and whom you can correct, discipline, fire. The contract we offer our nannies is the contract a family offers a family member -- mostly unspoken, hard to interpret, frequently violated. And I also know that I could chose to live another way -- a way that put my son not 'first among equals' with job and marriage, but actually first. I could stop working. I could be his primary, daily caregiver, and then he'd be surrounded by the neuroses and bad habits and failings of his father, not his nanny. My wife could make peace with the ambitions and plans that motherhood has delayed or altogether thwarted, and be that primary caregiver. She -- or I -- could spend all day, every day, focused solely on the well-being of our son.
I readily admit that I personally cannot make the change I know to be possible. I am too selfish. Perhaps there is a saint among us who can cast that sharp and heavy stone, and say to me, with complete authenticity: you shouldn't have had a child, then. But I doubt it. Nannies are the embodiments of our selfishness, our desire to have time for other things, and as such they are a constant reproach to us, just by being, by standing there holding our children while we pack our bag for that quick trip out of town. We load our own guilt and freakishness onto them, as surely as they bring their failings and frailties to their work.
My wife -- for whom this is a serious, daily, issue -- periodically decides to boot the nanny-o'-the-moment and immerse herself totally in care-giving. I convince her not to do so. I don't want my wife to make a change, because I want life-after-childhood for her, and with her. Each day, I want her to have a few hours to dream, screw around, plan, create. Otherwise, I am afraid she will emerge from that first period of intense mothering so drained of herself that I will have lost my wife, in some material ways, forever. This idea is intolerable to me, in part because I saw such a terminal exhaustion happen, in my first marriage, with my elder son. He had no nanny. And by age 8, he also had no mother. She had been....evacuated. And in my estimation she has never recovered, may never recover.
So we have a nanny. Several nannies. We're serial nanny-izers, really. And our son will pay whatever price there is to pay for these decisions of ours, and perhaps when he is older he will take us to task for those decisions, in one way or another. I watch closely for signs that the price is too high, and I see no signs that he's paying any significant price so far -- no bruises, no strangeness. He trips down the streets of cities in foreign countries, introducing himself to strangers and babbling about his new puppy and his rugby ball. All seems well.
But I'm sure he's had a lot of soda, and times when he ran amok on playgrounds and in shopping malls while his nanny screwed off. And I am sure that he's seen a thing or two that no child should see.
I read these blog postings -- of nannies dangling shoes as toys and slipping soda into sippy cups and being otherwise human (along with the postings about monsters, I'll grant you) -- and I wonder if the posters incensed by the soda and the shoes ever reflect on the fundamental salient fact that nannies enter our lives because of choices we make, and remain there (or not) because of choices we make.
Everyone is culpable. Only a few are ever, truly, guilty. And anyone telling a story in which one party is wholly innocent, and the other wholly guilty, is not to be trusted.
NYC area baby nurse warning
Received Thursday, September 28, 2006
Whatever you do, do not hire a baby nurse named Joyce who comes from Guyana but prides herself as being British. She says she has a husband Charlie who is English or Irish but lives in London. She told me she is a certified mid-wife in England and works either in London or the NYC area. She worked for me for about 3 weeks and there was something "off" with her from the start. I had seen her work previously in my building and since she had references I hired her to take care of my newborn daughter. Joyce is a drinker and drank my husband's single malt whiskey continuously. She was constantly telling me to leave the house (with the baby) to take a walk, run errands etc., even though I had just give birth and didn't feel like much walking. Whenever I came back, she was always acting strange,talking to herself, being very bossy and simply weird. I spoke to her previous employer and she said that she had also experienced this type of behavior from her and that she just thought she was a strange character. This encouraged me to keep her although my first instinct was to get this woman out of my house. Her behavior continued and my suspicions grew. My husband also thought I was emotional, had the baby blues etc. Finally, he decided to mark one of his scotch bottles to calm me down. Sure enough, the next day when I insisted this woman was drinking (because I could smell her breath) and we were ready to fire her, he pulled out the marked bottle which showed the whiskey was much lower that the previous day. Thankfully, nothing happened to my baby but the thought of this woman drinking while caring for someone else's newborn has tormented me. I hope prospective employers of Joyce read this and think twice before bringing her to your home. BTW, I spoke to the woman who recommended her to me and she did say she had an incident with beer around Joyce that now that I mentioned this to her, seemed odd. Hope this helps someone.
Whatever you do, do not hire a baby nurse named Joyce who comes from Guyana but prides herself as being British. She says she has a husband Charlie who is English or Irish but lives in London. She told me she is a certified mid-wife in England and works either in London or the NYC area. She worked for me for about 3 weeks and there was something "off" with her from the start. I had seen her work previously in my building and since she had references I hired her to take care of my newborn daughter. Joyce is a drinker and drank my husband's single malt whiskey continuously. She was constantly telling me to leave the house (with the baby) to take a walk, run errands etc., even though I had just give birth and didn't feel like much walking. Whenever I came back, she was always acting strange,talking to herself, being very bossy and simply weird. I spoke to her previous employer and she said that she had also experienced this type of behavior from her and that she just thought she was a strange character. This encouraged me to keep her although my first instinct was to get this woman out of my house. Her behavior continued and my suspicions grew. My husband also thought I was emotional, had the baby blues etc. Finally, he decided to mark one of his scotch bottles to calm me down. Sure enough, the next day when I insisted this woman was drinking (because I could smell her breath) and we were ready to fire her, he pulled out the marked bottle which showed the whiskey was much lower that the previous day. Thankfully, nothing happened to my baby but the thought of this woman drinking while caring for someone else's newborn has tormented me. I hope prospective employers of Joyce read this and think twice before bringing her to your home. BTW, I spoke to the woman who recommended her to me and she did say she had an incident with beer around Joyce that now that I mentioned this to her, seemed odd. Hope this helps someone.
Wednesday
Washington Heights Park
Wednesday, September 27, 2006 approximately 4:00 PM
Youngish, attractive dark skinned, black hair Nanny at **** in Washington Heights late afternoon (around 4:00pm) Wednesday Sept. 27th. Sat on back bench by the basketball courts talking with another nanny friend for a good 45 minutes. Left your sweet daughter, Jenna, age 5, to play by herself the entire time. Jenna talked with everyone there, ran from one end of the playground to another, and kept herself entertained, however, I easily could have walked off with her as could anyone else have done the same. There is absolutely no way that your nanny could have kept her in her eyesight the entire time from the location she was sitting in. I was there with a number of other mothers and our children, and we all felt terrible for Jenna, who seemed extremely lonely and desperate for attention. I would rate this a bad nanny sighting not only because a 5 year old had to play by herself for 45 minutes while her nanny chatted with a friend (who by the way kept her charge right next to her the entire time) but because it was simply dangerous how little supervision the child had,in a large public playground. Please talk to your nanny before someone walks off with your daughter. There are child predators everywhere and this is a city playground, requiring excellent supervision from close by, not from a distance.
****This entry was edited on 10/2/06 to remove the details of the Park.
Youngish, attractive dark skinned, black hair Nanny at **** in Washington Heights late afternoon (around 4:00pm) Wednesday Sept. 27th. Sat on back bench by the basketball courts talking with another nanny friend for a good 45 minutes. Left your sweet daughter, Jenna, age 5, to play by herself the entire time. Jenna talked with everyone there, ran from one end of the playground to another, and kept herself entertained, however, I easily could have walked off with her as could anyone else have done the same. There is absolutely no way that your nanny could have kept her in her eyesight the entire time from the location she was sitting in. I was there with a number of other mothers and our children, and we all felt terrible for Jenna, who seemed extremely lonely and desperate for attention. I would rate this a bad nanny sighting not only because a 5 year old had to play by herself for 45 minutes while her nanny chatted with a friend (who by the way kept her charge right next to her the entire time) but because it was simply dangerous how little supervision the child had,in a large public playground. Please talk to your nanny before someone walks off with your daughter. There are child predators everywhere and this is a city playground, requiring excellent supervision from close by, not from a distance.
****This entry was edited on 10/2/06 to remove the details of the Park.
Brooklyn Heights Starbucks on Montague Street
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006 12:00 P.M.
I saw a young Jamaican nanny with braids pulled into
a side ponytail with a wide black headband, black
top and jeans interacting in a disturbing way with
the child in her care. The child was about 18 mos old, white, towheaded, dressed in unisex clothing. The nanny came in with two other nannies and their charges. The child was reaching out and trying to communicate something to the nanny and the nanny was looking at the child, without smiling or good humor, andsaying "Whooooooooo caaaaaaaaares..." several times in response to the child's attempts to communicate. Also almost no eye contact with the child while handing child food. Sometimes the nanny would also eat the child'sfood and look at the child without responding when the child held out its hand for some. In addition, she talked on the cell phone extensively during a portion of this time, ignoring the child all the while.
I saw a young Jamaican nanny with braids pulled into
a side ponytail with a wide black headband, black
top and jeans interacting in a disturbing way with
the child in her care. The child was about 18 mos old, white, towheaded, dressed in unisex clothing. The nanny came in with two other nannies and their charges. The child was reaching out and trying to communicate something to the nanny and the nanny was looking at the child, without smiling or good humor, andsaying "Whooooooooo caaaaaaaaares..." several times in response to the child's attempts to communicate. Also almost no eye contact with the child while handing child food. Sometimes the nanny would also eat the child'sfood and look at the child without responding when the child held out its hand for some. In addition, she talked on the cell phone extensively during a portion of this time, ignoring the child all the while.
Ceylon Playground Brookline, MA
Wednesday, September 26, 2006 1:25 PM
Your nanny: Possibly Polish, plain looking, mousy hair, no make up, wears matching sweatsuits (not the fashionable kind).
Your child: Coby or Colby. A boy of about age 3 who takes karate as I have seen him in Karate gear.
Last seen: Ceylon Playground Brookline, MA 1:25 PM September 26, 2006
The problem: Your nanny is mean. She missed her calling as a butcher or something.
All she does is bark orders. When she takes your son to the park before Karate, she has no problem changing him from his park clothes to his karate clothes outside the car. This isn't such a big deal but there is a better way to do this. My main complaint is a nanny that never smiles or laughs or soothes or holds a childs hand (grabbing is not the same thing). Why? How does she give your son water? "Drink this". If your nanny goes to Ceylon Playground and you have a son about this age, please take an hour and observe her when she is not expecting it!
Your nanny: Possibly Polish, plain looking, mousy hair, no make up, wears matching sweatsuits (not the fashionable kind).
Your child: Coby or Colby. A boy of about age 3 who takes karate as I have seen him in Karate gear.
Last seen: Ceylon Playground Brookline, MA 1:25 PM September 26, 2006
The problem: Your nanny is mean. She missed her calling as a butcher or something.
All she does is bark orders. When she takes your son to the park before Karate, she has no problem changing him from his park clothes to his karate clothes outside the car. This isn't such a big deal but there is a better way to do this. My main complaint is a nanny that never smiles or laughs or soothes or holds a childs hand (grabbing is not the same thing). Why? How does she give your son water? "Drink this". If your nanny goes to Ceylon Playground and you have a son about this age, please take an hour and observe her when she is not expecting it!
Galleria Mall Food Court White Plains, NY
Tuesday, September 26, 2006 Approx 2 PM
I was on my lunch hour and sitting at table at the Food Court at the Galleria Mall. A nanny came and sat two tables away from me. She had a little girl with her who was about 2. She was pushing a mall stroller and all of her bags seemed to be brimming with kid stuff. She struggled with the stroller. Got the child all set up to eat her food first. Only after the child was set up did the nanny unwrap her straw and take a drink of her soda. She talked to the child the whole time. I really wasn't paying anymore attention to her than I was anyone else. Although when I did observe the nanny and the kid she had with her, I did think "how sweet". The child called the nanny "Lolly". I don't think that was her name, the two year old was not that verbal. But here comes the problem. The child wasn't eating what she had before her. The nanny looked around, looked at me (I think she assessed me to be safe) and then she got up and went and got the child a frozen yogurt. She didn't ask me to watch the child, but was away from the table for about four minutes. True, the lunch crowd had mostly dissipated. But why did this nanny who I had just assessed to be so great think it was okay to leave the child? If you are not familiar with the Food Court, it is almost a circular area around a bunch of table. The table the child was left at was one of the furthest from the place where the nanny got the frozen yogurt. So rather, than post this as a nanny behaving badly- I would like to say, please remind your nannies and yourselves never to leave their children unattended anywhere. She should have asked me to watch out for the child, I would have. (My attire clearly identified me as an employee of one of the mall stores). Anything can happen.
I was on my lunch hour and sitting at table at the Food Court at the Galleria Mall. A nanny came and sat two tables away from me. She had a little girl with her who was about 2. She was pushing a mall stroller and all of her bags seemed to be brimming with kid stuff. She struggled with the stroller. Got the child all set up to eat her food first. Only after the child was set up did the nanny unwrap her straw and take a drink of her soda. She talked to the child the whole time. I really wasn't paying anymore attention to her than I was anyone else. Although when I did observe the nanny and the kid she had with her, I did think "how sweet". The child called the nanny "Lolly". I don't think that was her name, the two year old was not that verbal. But here comes the problem. The child wasn't eating what she had before her. The nanny looked around, looked at me (I think she assessed me to be safe) and then she got up and went and got the child a frozen yogurt. She didn't ask me to watch the child, but was away from the table for about four minutes. True, the lunch crowd had mostly dissipated. But why did this nanny who I had just assessed to be so great think it was okay to leave the child? If you are not familiar with the Food Court, it is almost a circular area around a bunch of table. The table the child was left at was one of the furthest from the place where the nanny got the frozen yogurt. So rather, than post this as a nanny behaving badly- I would like to say, please remind your nannies and yourselves never to leave their children unattended anywhere. She should have asked me to watch out for the child, I would have. (My attire clearly identified me as an employee of one of the mall stores). Anything can happen.
Phony Reference for Greenwich Nanny
Received on Wednesday, September 27, 2006
I wanted to share this story with your readers. I have a great husband and two kids and am a stay at home mom. Two years ago a friend of mine came to stay with us for a weekend. The weekend turned into a week turned into a month. My husband was on his last nerve, no longer buying the pity I had for this wayward, someone lost soul of a friend. At the same time, she was toying with the idea of going to work as a live in nanny because she needed a place to stay, a job and a car. I helped her with her resume. I listed myself as her reference and a mutual friend of ours as another reference. And she left off to the NYC area to look for a job. Before I knew it, she had a job. No one had even called me or our mutual friend. Granted, we were willing to lie and say she had worked as our nanny but no one even gave us that chance! And my friend was watching a baby. A baby! Some mother hired her off of Craig's list and didn't even check her references, but allowed her to move in their home and take care of their baby! My friend was never alone with my baby because she didn't know what to do with babies, in fact she told me quite honestly that she didn't want to take care of babies. She took the first job she could and was in Greenwich, CT taking care of someone's baby! This caused me more than one sleepless night! My friend who is very sweet did struggle with many aspects of basic common sense! I have since asked her to remove my name from her resume. The last time I called the house she was living at, the mother answered and said "she no longer works with us" in a very flat and non revealing tone. I could never afford a nanny, but if I did, I would check references thoroughly! Ask open ended questions. If you use an agency and they say they have checked the references, even if they give you a form with supposed responses, don't buy it. I don't know what happened that ended my friend's job in Connecticut. When I asked her to remove my name from her resume (back when she was settling in to her nanny job), she got pretty mad at me! I spoke to a friend of her brother's last week and hear she has another nanny job in the same area. I think I started her on this course by helping her with her resume. The CT mother never called for references and if she had I probably would have lied for my friend. After all, she was off my sofa and my husband was happy but I never would have endorsed her taking care of a baby! If I did anything to set this person on a course that caused any child harm, I of course would feel terrible. So in reading these submissions, how many of these bad nannies went through thorough interview and screening processes? My guess is none. Please do not attach my name or email to this submission. Thank you.
I wanted to share this story with your readers. I have a great husband and two kids and am a stay at home mom. Two years ago a friend of mine came to stay with us for a weekend. The weekend turned into a week turned into a month. My husband was on his last nerve, no longer buying the pity I had for this wayward, someone lost soul of a friend. At the same time, she was toying with the idea of going to work as a live in nanny because she needed a place to stay, a job and a car. I helped her with her resume. I listed myself as her reference and a mutual friend of ours as another reference. And she left off to the NYC area to look for a job. Before I knew it, she had a job. No one had even called me or our mutual friend. Granted, we were willing to lie and say she had worked as our nanny but no one even gave us that chance! And my friend was watching a baby. A baby! Some mother hired her off of Craig's list and didn't even check her references, but allowed her to move in their home and take care of their baby! My friend was never alone with my baby because she didn't know what to do with babies, in fact she told me quite honestly that she didn't want to take care of babies. She took the first job she could and was in Greenwich, CT taking care of someone's baby! This caused me more than one sleepless night! My friend who is very sweet did struggle with many aspects of basic common sense! I have since asked her to remove my name from her resume. The last time I called the house she was living at, the mother answered and said "she no longer works with us" in a very flat and non revealing tone. I could never afford a nanny, but if I did, I would check references thoroughly! Ask open ended questions. If you use an agency and they say they have checked the references, even if they give you a form with supposed responses, don't buy it. I don't know what happened that ended my friend's job in Connecticut. When I asked her to remove my name from her resume (back when she was settling in to her nanny job), she got pretty mad at me! I spoke to a friend of her brother's last week and hear she has another nanny job in the same area. I think I started her on this course by helping her with her resume. The CT mother never called for references and if she had I probably would have lied for my friend. After all, she was off my sofa and my husband was happy but I never would have endorsed her taking care of a baby! If I did anything to set this person on a course that caused any child harm, I of course would feel terrible. So in reading these submissions, how many of these bad nannies went through thorough interview and screening processes? My guess is none. Please do not attach my name or email to this submission. Thank you.
Tuesday
Daffy's on 57th between Park & Lexington NYC
Received on Tuesday, September 26, 2006 "lunchtime" at Daffy's
I work on 57th & Madison and occasionally stop in Daffy's on 57th between Park and Lex at lunchtime. Every time I have entered the store it is full of nannies with strollers. More often than not, several of the children are screaming bloody murder, crying, and throwing tantrums. I've sometimes heard a nanny shush the child while she continued to shop, but, I have never seen a nanny stop shopping to calm the child down, nor leave the store when the child becomes upset. In fact, I once saw a nanny continuously dangle a ladies shoe at the child as if it were a toy, with no calming affect. I have seen the nannies step away from the strollers while the child is screaming in order to browse through racks of clothing. I have on occasion seen children not in strollers allowed to wander quite a distance from the nanny's view. The children are obviously miserable. Why in the world would they want to be in Daffy's I the first place? I'd like to try to be more specific about the description of the nannies, but the point is there are so many of them. There have been instances where I've witnessed a child scream continuously for such a great length of time (I'd say 15-20 minutes), that I was tempted to ask for the nanny's employer's phone number so I could contact them.
I work on 57th & Madison and occasionally stop in Daffy's on 57th between Park and Lex at lunchtime. Every time I have entered the store it is full of nannies with strollers. More often than not, several of the children are screaming bloody murder, crying, and throwing tantrums. I've sometimes heard a nanny shush the child while she continued to shop, but, I have never seen a nanny stop shopping to calm the child down, nor leave the store when the child becomes upset. In fact, I once saw a nanny continuously dangle a ladies shoe at the child as if it were a toy, with no calming affect. I have seen the nannies step away from the strollers while the child is screaming in order to browse through racks of clothing. I have on occasion seen children not in strollers allowed to wander quite a distance from the nanny's view. The children are obviously miserable. Why in the world would they want to be in Daffy's I the first place? I'd like to try to be more specific about the description of the nannies, but the point is there are so many of them. There have been instances where I've witnessed a child scream continuously for such a great length of time (I'd say 15-20 minutes), that I was tempted to ask for the nanny's employer's phone number so I could contact them.
Monterey Ridge School in Rancho Bernardo, CA
Received Tuesday, September 26, 2006
I frequently see your nanny picking up and occasionally dropping off your son, Cam, who is almost 5 at his kindergarten class. She has another little girl in tow who is about 2 and blond. Your nanny is Caucasian, brown hair, wears black sunglasses and has a perpetual scowl on her face. She is in her early twenties and drives a silver Mazda. She is absolutely awful to your children, especially your son. He gets a time out in kindergarten almost every day and she berates him for it in front of everyone right after class. She never greets him when he walks out with his arms full of things he did, she simply steps in front, bends over him and asks how many time outs he got. One day he lied and said none (I'm sure he was terrified) and she was livid and said she hated him lying to her, and she was tired of him getting time outs, and when he looked down she grabbed his chin and held his face up at hers while she talked, and said she was going to call his father. He started crying and ran off and she chased him all over the playground and yelled at him and his sister while all the parents stood and watched in shock. She came in the other morning late with them and the only thing she did was yell at the little girl to get back where they were walking. This past week, your son came out and when she asked him about time outs, he admitted he had one and she turned completely red and started in on him, made him cry, then called one of you on the phone and gave it to him to talk. He laid on the slide and sobbed while she stood over him with her arms crossed, then she snatched the phone away and grabbed him by the arm and walked him to the car, all the while holding him by the wrist, and his sister walked behind while she would yell over her shoulder, "You better hurry up or we'll leave you here!" and the little girl would race to catch up while saying, "No, no, I coming!" After the caught up to me in the car at the stoplight, her window was down and her music was quite loud, and she was still red and shaking her head, and only turned around to tell both of them she had a headache because of the day and they needed to be quiet.
Because of the position I am in that I can't disclose, I can't say anything directly to your nanny, but this is one of many resources I am using to try to let the parents know what is going on.
I've met and seen enough of this to know your child is terrified of her, and that she is an awful nanny. Please don't let her ruin your child's lives by letting her stay on.
10:05 PM EST September 25, 2006 UPDATE RECEIVED
"I am the poster. I believe we have gotten in touch with the parents, thanks to the viewers of this site. I'll keep everyone updated".
I frequently see your nanny picking up and occasionally dropping off your son, Cam, who is almost 5 at his kindergarten class. She has another little girl in tow who is about 2 and blond. Your nanny is Caucasian, brown hair, wears black sunglasses and has a perpetual scowl on her face. She is in her early twenties and drives a silver Mazda. She is absolutely awful to your children, especially your son. He gets a time out in kindergarten almost every day and she berates him for it in front of everyone right after class. She never greets him when he walks out with his arms full of things he did, she simply steps in front, bends over him and asks how many time outs he got. One day he lied and said none (I'm sure he was terrified) and she was livid and said she hated him lying to her, and she was tired of him getting time outs, and when he looked down she grabbed his chin and held his face up at hers while she talked, and said she was going to call his father. He started crying and ran off and she chased him all over the playground and yelled at him and his sister while all the parents stood and watched in shock. She came in the other morning late with them and the only thing she did was yell at the little girl to get back where they were walking. This past week, your son came out and when she asked him about time outs, he admitted he had one and she turned completely red and started in on him, made him cry, then called one of you on the phone and gave it to him to talk. He laid on the slide and sobbed while she stood over him with her arms crossed, then she snatched the phone away and grabbed him by the arm and walked him to the car, all the while holding him by the wrist, and his sister walked behind while she would yell over her shoulder, "You better hurry up or we'll leave you here!" and the little girl would race to catch up while saying, "No, no, I coming!" After the caught up to me in the car at the stoplight, her window was down and her music was quite loud, and she was still red and shaking her head, and only turned around to tell both of them she had a headache because of the day and they needed to be quiet.
Because of the position I am in that I can't disclose, I can't say anything directly to your nanny, but this is one of many resources I am using to try to let the parents know what is going on.
I've met and seen enough of this to know your child is terrified of her, and that she is an awful nanny. Please don't let her ruin your child's lives by letting her stay on.
10:05 PM EST September 25, 2006 UPDATE RECEIVED
"I am the poster. I believe we have gotten in touch with the parents, thanks to the viewers of this site. I'll keep everyone updated".
NYC: Tacumsuh playground (Amsterdam & 77th)
Monday, September 25, 2006 NYC
Your nanny was there w/ two kids - a 3-4ish year old blond girl and a maybe 16 month old with whiteblond ringlets (younger child was dressed in light blue pants and a lt blue & white stripe sweater) - I think younger was a boy, but hair made it tricky. Your nanny was a 30's black woman. Your younger child was unattended for a long period - he wandered into the swing area where he was almost knocked over several times. While several moms looked for the nanny, your child wandered up the ramp and out onto 77th St sidewalk. He would have left had we not walked him back down and waited for someone to claim him. When nanny finally meandered over, she said she had been following the big one around. She was oblivious to the danger and just walked away with your kid.
Your nanny was there w/ two kids - a 3-4ish year old blond girl and a maybe 16 month old with whiteblond ringlets (younger child was dressed in light blue pants and a lt blue & white stripe sweater) - I think younger was a boy, but hair made it tricky. Your nanny was a 30's black woman. Your younger child was unattended for a long period - he wandered into the swing area where he was almost knocked over several times. While several moms looked for the nanny, your child wandered up the ramp and out onto 77th St sidewalk. He would have left had we not walked him back down and waited for someone to claim him. When nanny finally meandered over, she said she had been following the big one around. She was oblivious to the danger and just walked away with your kid.
Monday
Palisades Park
Received Monday, September 25, 2006
I am a full-time legal British nanny and I love my two babies (3yrs and 2 mths) with all my heart. Go and look at the Palisades Park and you will see exactly what goes on. These 'nannies' set up their blankets, drinks, etc and keep the kids in their strollers(???) whilst they gab. I was at the park for two hours last week, and I was really quite surprised as to what I saw them doing. The kids never got to go near the playground!!!
I am a full-time legal British nanny and I love my two babies (3yrs and 2 mths) with all my heart. Go and look at the Palisades Park and you will see exactly what goes on. These 'nannies' set up their blankets, drinks, etc and keep the kids in their strollers(???) whilst they gab. I was at the park for two hours last week, and I was really quite surprised as to what I saw them doing. The kids never got to go near the playground!!!
Saturday
Florence Colucci Playground Pelham, NY
Friday, September 22, 5:25 PM Florence Colucci Playground Pelham, NY
I saw an obvious nanny who was taking care of a boy and a girl at Florence Colucci Playground Park earlier this evening. The girl was playing with a friend of hers-also in the nanny's care. The boys was hanging closer to the nanny and seemed to be about three. Everything seemed fine and then I think that the boy may have had an accident. Either that or he somehow spilled water on himself. All I know for certain is this angered the nanny because the little boy wanted to go home. (I believe they were in walking distance). The nanny told him that he would have to "deal with the mess" because they weren't going home until six pm. The nanny didn't want to go home until she was sure the parents would be home because it was Friday. I don't understand her reasoning but she wasn't nice about it. I am hoping that it was water. When the older sister asked what was wrong, the nanny used a very sarcastic and condescending tone and said "Tommy wants to go home now because he needs to change his pants". The sister looked so sad for her brother and said to the effect of "that's okay, we can go now". The nanny said "The plan was to stay here until 6 and that is the plan we are sticking to". It didn't even make sense. The worst part of this whole story which I don't think I am explaining very well is the look that the sister gave her brother. The little girl knew the nanny wasn't being nice. I just hope she tells her parents!
I saw an obvious nanny who was taking care of a boy and a girl at Florence Colucci Playground Park earlier this evening. The girl was playing with a friend of hers-also in the nanny's care. The boys was hanging closer to the nanny and seemed to be about three. Everything seemed fine and then I think that the boy may have had an accident. Either that or he somehow spilled water on himself. All I know for certain is this angered the nanny because the little boy wanted to go home. (I believe they were in walking distance). The nanny told him that he would have to "deal with the mess" because they weren't going home until six pm. The nanny didn't want to go home until she was sure the parents would be home because it was Friday. I don't understand her reasoning but she wasn't nice about it. I am hoping that it was water. When the older sister asked what was wrong, the nanny used a very sarcastic and condescending tone and said "Tommy wants to go home now because he needs to change his pants". The sister looked so sad for her brother and said to the effect of "that's okay, we can go now". The nanny said "The plan was to stay here until 6 and that is the plan we are sticking to". It didn't even make sense. The worst part of this whole story which I don't think I am explaining very well is the look that the sister gave her brother. The little girl knew the nanny wasn't being nice. I just hope she tells her parents!
Not bad behavior, but odd none the less...
Friday, September 22, 2006 5:00 PM San Diego, CA
I was at Weinerschnitzel on Convoy Street with my boyfriend and a nanny pulled up with two kids. They got one large drink to share. Then the nanny (different race then the children) went up to the older woman next to us and asked her for her receipt. She said she has "house money" and her boss counts it on Friday but she lost her receipt from when she took the children out yesterday. (??) The older woman barely spoke English but did give her the receipt. This older woman had 3 kids with her. So if your nanny is submitting to you a receipt for Weinerschnitzel on Convoy Street dated Sept 22, you probably need to take a look at all of her "receipts" and verify the legitimacy of them.
** I know this is not "abusive" but I do think it could represent a character issue.
I was at Weinerschnitzel on Convoy Street with my boyfriend and a nanny pulled up with two kids. They got one large drink to share. Then the nanny (different race then the children) went up to the older woman next to us and asked her for her receipt. She said she has "house money" and her boss counts it on Friday but she lost her receipt from when she took the children out yesterday. (??) The older woman barely spoke English but did give her the receipt. This older woman had 3 kids with her. So if your nanny is submitting to you a receipt for Weinerschnitzel on Convoy Street dated Sept 22, you probably need to take a look at all of her "receipts" and verify the legitimacy of them.
** I know this is not "abusive" but I do think it could represent a character issue.
Letter from a nanny..............
Received Saturday, September 23, 2006
I am a professional nanny and I was absolutely shocked by what I read on this blog. Incompetent nannies are more prevalent than I even imagined. Are the parents of the children screening applicants to make sure they are competent. These women give a bad name to the legitimate nannies trying to make a living.
Mothers - Do your due diligence and check out your applicants before hiring them. Nothing is more precious than your child - no amount of money could ever replace them. Wake up and take action.
Jan
Tustin, California
I am a professional nanny and I was absolutely shocked by what I read on this blog. Incompetent nannies are more prevalent than I even imagined. Are the parents of the children screening applicants to make sure they are competent. These women give a bad name to the legitimate nannies trying to make a living.
Mothers - Do your due diligence and check out your applicants before hiring them. Nothing is more precious than your child - no amount of money could ever replace them. Wake up and take action.
Jan
Tustin, California
Friday
Perspective from a mother............
Received Friday, September 22, 2006
In 2004, I was caught completely off guard when I came face to face with the fact that my nanny had been abusive and negligent to my two children. Both children were under 4. I was at work on a Thursday afternoon when I got a call from the police in the town next over from that where we resided. The nanny had taken my children to the mall without permission and she had left both children in a minivan strapped into their car seats with treats and drinks while she went shopping. The children were in a large city inside a large, scary and dark indoor parking facility inside the vehicle (fortunately the weather was not a factor). My four year old son grew bored and got out of his carseat and opened the door to the minivan (setting off the car alarm, thank Goodness). I don't even want to imagine what could have happened. But had the alarm not went off and a mall security guard not observed my son attempting to unbuckle his two year old sister from her carseat, I would have never known what went on. The security guard called the police and contacted me. The nanny's excuse was of course that she "had" to run in to exchange something but it took longer than she had expected. Sadly, after speaking with the children we learned this wasn't the first such incident nor were the incidents limited to negligence. After we fired the nanny, we shared some of the details with friends and family. In almost every instance, someone said something to the effect of "I always thought..." or "she seemed..." or "I knew something was off". The time to tell someone you noticed something strange or suspicious isn't after the fact-but before. I am the mother, I leave the house every morning at 700 to work in NYC and don't return home until 730. When I was around or my husband was around, the nanny was fantastically attentive to the children. People are too hesitant to interfere these days. MYOB seems to be the order of the day, but I urge you to take action. If you interact with someone on a regular basis and you see things, please let the parent know. Provide the parents the information they need to evaluate the situation. If you are hesitant in anyway, send an anonymous note or email to the parent, but please do something.
Thank you for listening,
name withheld by request
In 2004, I was caught completely off guard when I came face to face with the fact that my nanny had been abusive and negligent to my two children. Both children were under 4. I was at work on a Thursday afternoon when I got a call from the police in the town next over from that where we resided. The nanny had taken my children to the mall without permission and she had left both children in a minivan strapped into their car seats with treats and drinks while she went shopping. The children were in a large city inside a large, scary and dark indoor parking facility inside the vehicle (fortunately the weather was not a factor). My four year old son grew bored and got out of his carseat and opened the door to the minivan (setting off the car alarm, thank Goodness). I don't even want to imagine what could have happened. But had the alarm not went off and a mall security guard not observed my son attempting to unbuckle his two year old sister from her carseat, I would have never known what went on. The security guard called the police and contacted me. The nanny's excuse was of course that she "had" to run in to exchange something but it took longer than she had expected. Sadly, after speaking with the children we learned this wasn't the first such incident nor were the incidents limited to negligence. After we fired the nanny, we shared some of the details with friends and family. In almost every instance, someone said something to the effect of "I always thought..." or "she seemed..." or "I knew something was off". The time to tell someone you noticed something strange or suspicious isn't after the fact-but before. I am the mother, I leave the house every morning at 700 to work in NYC and don't return home until 730. When I was around or my husband was around, the nanny was fantastically attentive to the children. People are too hesitant to interfere these days. MYOB seems to be the order of the day, but I urge you to take action. If you interact with someone on a regular basis and you see things, please let the parent know. Provide the parents the information they need to evaluate the situation. If you are hesitant in anyway, send an anonymous note or email to the parent, but please do something.
Thank you for listening,
name withheld by request
Thursday
Tennis Center /Prospect Park Brooklyn, NY
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 5:10 PM
The the mother or nanny who takes her daughter to tennis lessons at the tennis center. Why are you so shrill? Why are you always barking about homework and berating the girl for not hurrying? (She gets her stuff together faster than anyone else). Do you not notice that other mothers and nannies bring water or juice for their children? If you don't stay to watch the lesson, why don't you ask her about it? Why do you arrive and look annoyed and then tell her what she next has to do, "you need to get home and finish that Native American project before". Blah blah blah. I feel so horribly for your child or the child in your care. She needs a break. I could but don't want to out you more specifically because that would not make me feel very good. But take a look at your child/charge's face. Look around. The other girls are laughing and smiling, why does yours looks so worried and exhausted? If you are a mother, get help. If you are a nanny and it is your job to take care of this child, please quit. This is tough to watch every week.
The the mother or nanny who takes her daughter to tennis lessons at the tennis center. Why are you so shrill? Why are you always barking about homework and berating the girl for not hurrying? (She gets her stuff together faster than anyone else). Do you not notice that other mothers and nannies bring water or juice for their children? If you don't stay to watch the lesson, why don't you ask her about it? Why do you arrive and look annoyed and then tell her what she next has to do, "you need to get home and finish that Native American project before". Blah blah blah. I feel so horribly for your child or the child in your care. She needs a break. I could but don't want to out you more specifically because that would not make me feel very good. But take a look at your child/charge's face. Look around. The other girls are laughing and smiling, why does yours looks so worried and exhausted? If you are a mother, get help. If you are a nanny and it is your job to take care of this child, please quit. This is tough to watch every week.
Sydney's Playground in Tribeca NYC
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 4:30 PM
Your nanny has an English accent. She is blondish with a plain face. Your child is a boy of about four named Henry.
Your nanny took Henry to Sydney's Playrground yesterday. I saw them there around 4-5 PM. Henry was very happy to be playing there and seemed to very much like the nanny and the nanny was incredibly loving with him. He would run back and fourth to tell her or ask her something and once just to give her a hug.
I don't know if you know this or not, but your nanny is looking for a new job. She spent the time Henry was (happily) engaged in play, reading the classifieds and calling about job offers. I heard her tell one of the people she was speaking to that she would like to give you three weeks notice. I am sending this in because it is clear the nanny wants to leave for some reason, but I think you should take an hour and watch your nanny when she isn't expecting it. If that were my nanny, I would hold on to her very tight!
Your nanny has an English accent. She is blondish with a plain face. Your child is a boy of about four named Henry.
Your nanny took Henry to Sydney's Playrground yesterday. I saw them there around 4-5 PM. Henry was very happy to be playing there and seemed to very much like the nanny and the nanny was incredibly loving with him. He would run back and fourth to tell her or ask her something and once just to give her a hug.
I don't know if you know this or not, but your nanny is looking for a new job. She spent the time Henry was (happily) engaged in play, reading the classifieds and calling about job offers. I heard her tell one of the people she was speaking to that she would like to give you three weeks notice. I am sending this in because it is clear the nanny wants to leave for some reason, but I think you should take an hour and watch your nanny when she isn't expecting it. If that were my nanny, I would hold on to her very tight!
Wednesday
Burger King on Fulton Street near Duffield in Brooklyn
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 9:30 AM
I am a nanny and was at the Burger King on Fulton this morning at 9:30 a.m.when I witnessed something peculiar. One nanny or mother was sitting with her little boy or son having juice and drinks when another nanny showed up and went right to the table. Both of these women had Caribbean accents & I would guess them to be Jamaican. The nanny who arrived told the woman sitting there that she would "be as quick as she could be and she would meet the first nanny at ballet class at 12:30". She was leaving a blonde, two year old girl with the friend. The little girl had a tiny pink duffell with toe shoes embossed on it in white. I thought this was peculiar because it didn't seem like the two year old knew what was going on which makes me think the mother doesn't know what was going on. The little girl didn't even seem to know the person she was being left with. I had been sitting near this person for ten minutes and she seems like a very lovely person. This woman was also really sweet to the little girl when she met her. I am guessing the nanny had an apppointment or something to get to during work hours. She probably works a long day and this was her only opportunity but I just hope that she okayed this drop off with the mother in advance. This little girl was going to spend three hours with someone she didn't know.
I am a nanny and was at the Burger King on Fulton this morning at 9:30 a.m.when I witnessed something peculiar. One nanny or mother was sitting with her little boy or son having juice and drinks when another nanny showed up and went right to the table. Both of these women had Caribbean accents & I would guess them to be Jamaican. The nanny who arrived told the woman sitting there that she would "be as quick as she could be and she would meet the first nanny at ballet class at 12:30". She was leaving a blonde, two year old girl with the friend. The little girl had a tiny pink duffell with toe shoes embossed on it in white. I thought this was peculiar because it didn't seem like the two year old knew what was going on which makes me think the mother doesn't know what was going on. The little girl didn't even seem to know the person she was being left with. I had been sitting near this person for ten minutes and she seems like a very lovely person. This woman was also really sweet to the little girl when she met her. I am guessing the nanny had an apppointment or something to get to during work hours. She probably works a long day and this was her only opportunity but I just hope that she okayed this drop off with the mother in advance. This little girl was going to spend three hours with someone she didn't know.
Hairston Rd. Park Pine Lake, GA
Tuesday, September 19, 2006 4:45 PM
This may be okay with you. It may not be. You may be the mother but I guessed you who wore the red and yellow striped shirt and blue jeans with the Braves hat to be the mother of the dark haired, olive complected child who was being pushed in a red stroller. When the little girl's sippy cup was emptied, the nanny poured Dr. Pepper from her plastic bottle in to the cup. This was to keep the child content so she could continue on having a conversation with two other nannies or mothers. It worked. The little girl could not have been more than 2 years old. Personally, as a mother I have a problem with that, but you may not. Flame away.
This may be okay with you. It may not be. You may be the mother but I guessed you who wore the red and yellow striped shirt and blue jeans with the Braves hat to be the mother of the dark haired, olive complected child who was being pushed in a red stroller. When the little girl's sippy cup was emptied, the nanny poured Dr. Pepper from her plastic bottle in to the cup. This was to keep the child content so she could continue on having a conversation with two other nannies or mothers. It worked. The little girl could not have been more than 2 years old. Personally, as a mother I have a problem with that, but you may not. Flame away.
Tuesday
What to do when you observe someone mistreating a child in public
Received Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Many thanks to Janice from the Boston Area Nanny Support Group who sent this interesting information regarding how to take action when you observe a child being mistreated in public.
Many thanks to Janice from the Boston Area Nanny Support Group who sent this interesting information regarding how to take action when you observe a child being mistreated in public.
Maitthiessen Park Irvington, New York
Tuesday, September 19, 2006 9:45 AM
White nanny with mottled complexion (sun damage?) wearing orange ribbed tank and black cargo pants. Light brown hair, wavy, wore copious amounts of lip gloss (looked like she just ate a pork chop). Saw her at the park this morning with a little girl who was maybe 4 years old and was wearing red capri sweat suit. Very cute little girl playing with a ball. Nanny was distracted looking towards where cars parked. Soon enough a car pulled up and a guy got out and joined the nanny. The little girl continued to play but the nanny was "cuddling" or hugging on this guy. Nothing lewd, but if this is a nanny, I think it is not appropriate to behave this way on the clock. I would want my nanny to play ball with my child!
White nanny with mottled complexion (sun damage?) wearing orange ribbed tank and black cargo pants. Light brown hair, wavy, wore copious amounts of lip gloss (looked like she just ate a pork chop). Saw her at the park this morning with a little girl who was maybe 4 years old and was wearing red capri sweat suit. Very cute little girl playing with a ball. Nanny was distracted looking towards where cars parked. Soon enough a car pulled up and a guy got out and joined the nanny. The little girl continued to play but the nanny was "cuddling" or hugging on this guy. Nothing lewd, but if this is a nanny, I think it is not appropriate to behave this way on the clock. I would want my nanny to play ball with my child!
Fearrel McWhirter Park Redmond, WA Suspicious Nanny
Tuesday, September 19, 2006 8:10 AM
This was what I would call after drop off time this morning for most of the schools in the area, like Overlake. I really think this person is a nanny who might even live in with a family in the area. I think I have seen her with a blonde girl (who is freckled and has a very blunt cut bob and bangs). I am not 100 percent sure though. The girl I think I have seen her with is about 10. I never noticed anything weird then, but the nanny or sitter or housekeeper or whatever she was walking through the park today. She stopped at a garbage can, reached in her grey windbreaker and pulled out some papers that were folded together in a messy way. I thought this was weird because she was also carrying a big bag, but she had the papers on her body, like I think she pulled them out from inside her jacket. She then ripped them in half and again and through them in the garbage can. She looked around to see if anyone was looking at her. She was also carrying a single serving bottle of sunny delight but drinking it gingerly. Okay, now here is why I write this. The first time I saw this nanny, she was also by herself. She was at a deli and bought a single bottle of orange juice. When she stepped outside, I noticed she opened the bottle and dumped out about 1/4 of it. I didn't think any thing of it. I was inside paying for my sandwich and I could see her outside fumbling around with a big bag she carries. Then when I was done and walked past her, she said hello to me and her bottle was almost full again. So let me just say, I don't know what I saw if anything. I am hoping it is nothing. But if your nanny is a white woman who wears no make up, green eyes and carried around a large "bunchy" brown leatherish bag, please sneak a peak inside of her bag. She also wears a grew windbreaker that has sweatshirt style sleeves but nylon looking, shiny gray fabric on the bodice.
This was what I would call after drop off time this morning for most of the schools in the area, like Overlake. I really think this person is a nanny who might even live in with a family in the area. I think I have seen her with a blonde girl (who is freckled and has a very blunt cut bob and bangs). I am not 100 percent sure though. The girl I think I have seen her with is about 10. I never noticed anything weird then, but the nanny or sitter or housekeeper or whatever she was walking through the park today. She stopped at a garbage can, reached in her grey windbreaker and pulled out some papers that were folded together in a messy way. I thought this was weird because she was also carrying a big bag, but she had the papers on her body, like I think she pulled them out from inside her jacket. She then ripped them in half and again and through them in the garbage can. She looked around to see if anyone was looking at her. She was also carrying a single serving bottle of sunny delight but drinking it gingerly. Okay, now here is why I write this. The first time I saw this nanny, she was also by herself. She was at a deli and bought a single bottle of orange juice. When she stepped outside, I noticed she opened the bottle and dumped out about 1/4 of it. I didn't think any thing of it. I was inside paying for my sandwich and I could see her outside fumbling around with a big bag she carries. Then when I was done and walked past her, she said hello to me and her bottle was almost full again. So let me just say, I don't know what I saw if anything. I am hoping it is nothing. But if your nanny is a white woman who wears no make up, green eyes and carried around a large "bunchy" brown leatherish bag, please sneak a peak inside of her bag. She also wears a grew windbreaker that has sweatshirt style sleeves but nylon looking, shiny gray fabric on the bodice.
Monday
Greenwich Weekend Nanny up to no good?
Recieved Monday, September 18, 2006
If your nanny is a student at Manhattan Marymount College majoring in International affairs, is an attractive & petite brunette with blue eyes; then it should interest you to know that she has referenced her live in weekend job at your home. Specifically she referenced that your husband works in the city, that you are a stay at home mom and that she is planning to meet your husband for drinks at Mo's Caribbean Mexican Grill tonight after 6 to watch football. She hasn't done anything with him yet. Well - as of 3 this afternoon when she was soliciting advice on what to wear to accentuate her "non nanny" attributes. (I do know her first & last name.)
Good luck with this!
If your nanny is a student at Manhattan Marymount College majoring in International affairs, is an attractive & petite brunette with blue eyes; then it should interest you to know that she has referenced her live in weekend job at your home. Specifically she referenced that your husband works in the city, that you are a stay at home mom and that she is planning to meet your husband for drinks at Mo's Caribbean Mexican Grill tonight after 6 to watch football. She hasn't done anything with him yet. Well - as of 3 this afternoon when she was soliciting advice on what to wear to accentuate her "non nanny" attributes. (I do know her first & last name.)
Good luck with this!
Palisades Mall, West Nyack, NY
Monday, September 18, 2006 10:00 AM
Angry nanny with two/three year old walking through entrance by the computer store just after 10:00 a.m. BITCHING to the child along the lines of "This is not what I planned to do today. I "aint" no errand runner. What you think she is doing anyway?" The two/three year old very fair boy with a blue collared shirt on grey corduroys on just looked at her. The nanny (or housekeeper?) said nothing. He actually look like he felt bad. Then the nanny continued on with "How the hell am I supposed to know where to park. I'm not no personal shopper". At this point, she realized I was looking at her. (My look was "WTF is wrong with you?". She asked "Where Kids Footlocker at?". Normally I would have ignored someone so rude, but I figured if I didn't assist her, I would only be subjecting this wide eyed child to more of her anti mall tirade. So I walked with her to the directory and pointed out Footlocker on the map. She thanked me with a "yeah, all right" and headed off to buy your son shoes. So here is where I could send in my bad nanny sighting, right? Because the nanny was impatient and rude. When she grabbed the kid's hand, she snatched it up and seemed to drag him more than walk him. I didn't say anything to her. I did smile and say hello to the child in her care who I felt so bad for. Is this a bad nanny problem? Because i find it hard to believe that the parent of this child is not aware of how rude and obnoxious and lazy the nanny is. It seems VERY apparent. My heart breaks for that child. The nanny was wearing a 3/4 sleeve length teal colored top/sweatshirt that had a pocket across the bottom and what I would call green "utility pants". She was a large black woman with a Caribbean Island. She was not fat, per say, just tall with a large build. If you need more information, I will respond back to any comments you post. (If applicable). SD, NJ
Angry nanny with two/three year old walking through entrance by the computer store just after 10:00 a.m. BITCHING to the child along the lines of "This is not what I planned to do today. I "aint" no errand runner. What you think she is doing anyway?" The two/three year old very fair boy with a blue collared shirt on grey corduroys on just looked at her. The nanny (or housekeeper?) said nothing. He actually look like he felt bad. Then the nanny continued on with "How the hell am I supposed to know where to park. I'm not no personal shopper". At this point, she realized I was looking at her. (My look was "WTF is wrong with you?". She asked "Where Kids Footlocker at?". Normally I would have ignored someone so rude, but I figured if I didn't assist her, I would only be subjecting this wide eyed child to more of her anti mall tirade. So I walked with her to the directory and pointed out Footlocker on the map. She thanked me with a "yeah, all right" and headed off to buy your son shoes. So here is where I could send in my bad nanny sighting, right? Because the nanny was impatient and rude. When she grabbed the kid's hand, she snatched it up and seemed to drag him more than walk him. I didn't say anything to her. I did smile and say hello to the child in her care who I felt so bad for. Is this a bad nanny problem? Because i find it hard to believe that the parent of this child is not aware of how rude and obnoxious and lazy the nanny is. It seems VERY apparent. My heart breaks for that child. The nanny was wearing a 3/4 sleeve length teal colored top/sweatshirt that had a pocket across the bottom and what I would call green "utility pants". She was a large black woman with a Caribbean Island. She was not fat, per say, just tall with a large build. If you need more information, I will respond back to any comments you post. (If applicable). SD, NJ
Sunday
The nanny you're better off NOT hiring........
Received Sunday, September 17, 2006
This nanny is from Africa and speaks French as well as English. She has a name that starts with a B. She is in her late 40s, I would say. She worked for us for a short time. Before then she worked on the Upper East Side in the ‘60s for a family with 2 girls. She took my child (who is just over 3) out and he came home with bruises on both of his arms. She said maybe he got in a fight with another child, but he told me that she didn’t like the way he was playing so she grabbed him really hard. Not only did he have lines like bruises where her fingers were, but he also had red spotting on one of his wrists, presumably from the force she used or the duration of time she was holding him so tightly. He said he tried prying her hands off of him but he could not. Two days before this incident, I saw her with him at the park. When she didn’t know I was watching anymore, she stopped holding his hand and was instead holding him by the wrist, sort of dragging him around. I should have recognized this was an indication of her lack of respect for him and of the way she would treat him in my absence.
This nanny is from Africa and speaks French as well as English. She has a name that starts with a B. She is in her late 40s, I would say. She worked for us for a short time. Before then she worked on the Upper East Side in the ‘60s for a family with 2 girls. She took my child (who is just over 3) out and he came home with bruises on both of his arms. She said maybe he got in a fight with another child, but he told me that she didn’t like the way he was playing so she grabbed him really hard. Not only did he have lines like bruises where her fingers were, but he also had red spotting on one of his wrists, presumably from the force she used or the duration of time she was holding him so tightly. He said he tried prying her hands off of him but he could not. Two days before this incident, I saw her with him at the park. When she didn’t know I was watching anymore, she stopped holding his hand and was instead holding him by the wrist, sort of dragging him around. I should have recognized this was an indication of her lack of respect for him and of the way she would treat him in my absence.
California Nanny weighs in.................
Received Sunday, September 17, 2006
The upscale neighborhoods of LA are filled with nannies who go to the park nearly all day with very young babies and toddlers and chat with each other or on their cell phones in Spanish the entire time, with their backs to the children. It is obvious to me that they spend their time being paid to socialize.
I don't speak Spanish, and the people I talk to at the park are the children. I am the one scooping up the baby who is about to be hit by the swing, or about to fall off the side of the slide. I am the one comforting the child who has gotten hurt, and asking them where is your mommy or nanny? Once we find the "nanny" who is usually an undocumented worker who lowers the pay scale for legitimate, educated, legal nannies, she usually says "it's ok popi, have some juice" (cookie, chips, etc).
I don't understand why so many affluent parents in LA hire sub-par people to take care of their most precious little chidren.
I know there are good "illegal" nannies, but the majority I have seen don't appear to have any kind of child development knowledge, don't play with the children or even teach them to share, or have the ability to teach the children proper English.
I have been a nanny in Pacific Palisades, Beverly Hills, Brentwood, Santa Monica, and Manhattan Beach.
The upscale neighborhoods of LA are filled with nannies who go to the park nearly all day with very young babies and toddlers and chat with each other or on their cell phones in Spanish the entire time, with their backs to the children. It is obvious to me that they spend their time being paid to socialize.
I don't speak Spanish, and the people I talk to at the park are the children. I am the one scooping up the baby who is about to be hit by the swing, or about to fall off the side of the slide. I am the one comforting the child who has gotten hurt, and asking them where is your mommy or nanny? Once we find the "nanny" who is usually an undocumented worker who lowers the pay scale for legitimate, educated, legal nannies, she usually says "it's ok popi, have some juice" (cookie, chips, etc).
I don't understand why so many affluent parents in LA hire sub-par people to take care of their most precious little chidren.
I know there are good "illegal" nannies, but the majority I have seen don't appear to have any kind of child development knowledge, don't play with the children or even teach them to share, or have the ability to teach the children proper English.
I have been a nanny in Pacific Palisades, Beverly Hills, Brentwood, Santa Monica, and Manhattan Beach.
Saturday
SAHM asks for your advice about the nanny upstairs with the noisy children
Received Saturday, September 16, 2006
I live in a nice building on the Upper West Side and try to be neighborly to everyone who lives in and around my building. The woman who lives above me is a WOHM (Works outside the home) with a nanny and 2 preschool aged children. I don't know what the nanny does up there but the children run around like wild Indians every minute they are home. It sounds like a train running across my head every minute excepting when the children are at school, their mother is home or ten minutes before the mother comes home. It is like clockwork, I swear. Normalcy returns in preparation for the mother's return. She is recently divorced and I really like this woman. My question, if I were to speak to her about my observations, would they come across as petty and motivated only by my own inconvenience caused by the noise of the out of control children? I cannot explain to you how loud they are but at the same time, I have no information at all to suggest that it has anything to do with inferior child care. I'll be honest, I would really like the noise to stop but I am also concerned that the two children (boys) could be hurt with all of the constant ruckus. Please post this for me as it's own post so that other wohm mothers can respond back to me with their thoughts.
I live in a nice building on the Upper West Side and try to be neighborly to everyone who lives in and around my building. The woman who lives above me is a WOHM (Works outside the home) with a nanny and 2 preschool aged children. I don't know what the nanny does up there but the children run around like wild Indians every minute they are home. It sounds like a train running across my head every minute excepting when the children are at school, their mother is home or ten minutes before the mother comes home. It is like clockwork, I swear. Normalcy returns in preparation for the mother's return. She is recently divorced and I really like this woman. My question, if I were to speak to her about my observations, would they come across as petty and motivated only by my own inconvenience caused by the noise of the out of control children? I cannot explain to you how loud they are but at the same time, I have no information at all to suggest that it has anything to do with inferior child care. I'll be honest, I would really like the noise to stop but I am also concerned that the two children (boys) could be hurt with all of the constant ruckus. Please post this for me as it's own post so that other wohm mothers can respond back to me with their thoughts.
Starbucks 81st and B'way 930 NYC
Saturday, September 16, 2006 9:30 AM
White, brunette nanny with very bothered disposition who took two children about 2 & 4 into starbucks so she could get a coffee at a kind of busy time. Nanny also selected some sort of bread type pastry and waited for a seat. The children had nothing, not even water. The nanny sat and had her coffee and pastry and kept correcting the children who were not content to sit still in a coffee shop on a busy Saturday morning. (Why were they even asked to?). The boy was blonde (and needed a haircut unless he is trying out to play a younger brother on The Suite life) and his name was Daniel. He called the nanny "Em" ( I think). I wanted to tell the nanny to take the kids to the park and plop her butt on a bench so that the kids could at least run around! It is a beautiful day outside. And no, taking a break at Starbucks is not a bad thing, but it seemed rather obnoxious for the children to sit there with nothing!
White, brunette nanny with very bothered disposition who took two children about 2 & 4 into starbucks so she could get a coffee at a kind of busy time. Nanny also selected some sort of bread type pastry and waited for a seat. The children had nothing, not even water. The nanny sat and had her coffee and pastry and kept correcting the children who were not content to sit still in a coffee shop on a busy Saturday morning. (Why were they even asked to?). The boy was blonde (and needed a haircut unless he is trying out to play a younger brother on The Suite life) and his name was Daniel. He called the nanny "Em" ( I think). I wanted to tell the nanny to take the kids to the park and plop her butt on a bench so that the kids could at least run around! It is a beautiful day outside. And no, taking a break at Starbucks is not a bad thing, but it seemed rather obnoxious for the children to sit there with nothing!
Thursday
Woodland Park, Hasbrouck Heights NJ
Thursday, September 14, 2006 approximately 4:00 PM
"Betty" the nanny had your son at the park yesterday during a break in the rain, (approximately 4 PM). He did not have a jacket on and appeared to be wet from his pants down (as if he had fallen in the water). Going to the park consisted nothing more of him standing by the large blue and orange tic tac toe thing and flipping the x's and o's. Not only was he not having fun, but he was all wet and "Betty" was busy arguing with someone on her cellphone. Your son has an olive complexion, thick dark hair and green eyes and was wearing a short sleeve cream colored shirt with a dump truck on it and blue jeans. He appeared to be about three years old.
*child appeared to call the jean clad, sweat shirt wearing, 40ish, short, Latina nanny "Betty".
"Betty" the nanny had your son at the park yesterday during a break in the rain, (approximately 4 PM). He did not have a jacket on and appeared to be wet from his pants down (as if he had fallen in the water). Going to the park consisted nothing more of him standing by the large blue and orange tic tac toe thing and flipping the x's and o's. Not only was he not having fun, but he was all wet and "Betty" was busy arguing with someone on her cellphone. Your son has an olive complexion, thick dark hair and green eyes and was wearing a short sleeve cream colored shirt with a dump truck on it and blue jeans. He appeared to be about three years old.
*child appeared to call the jean clad, sweat shirt wearing, 40ish, short, Latina nanny "Betty".
W. 23rd Street/ Crosstown Bus/ NYC July or August during heatwave
Received Thursday, Septmeber 14, 2006
W. 23rd Street/Crosstown Bus/NYC
Nanny: Indian woman, long black hair, black dress with flower pattern, about mid 30's, just finished shopping at Buy Buy Baby.
Little boy: about 2 years old, blue eyes, brown hair, noticeable cut over his left eye.
I was on the bus sometime in July or early August. It was during that terrible heat wave we had, when the temperature was about 105 degrees. I looked out the window at a nanny pushing a stroller (Travel Time stroller) to the bus, calling for the bus to wait. She was with another Indian woman and two Indian children. They got on the bus first and sat in the front. The nanny then tried to get the little boy out of the stroller by grabbing his arms and repeatedly pulling on him and slamming his legs into the bar in front of the carriage. She had him by the arms, one arm twisted behind his back, and just slamming him over and over into the bar. Of course, he was crying at this point because she was hurting him. She was very frustrated at not being able to get him out and threw him back down and tried to undo the seatbelt. She then went through the pulling process again. She still couldn't get him out and the bus was waiting, so she threw him down again and tried the seat belt again. She then grabbed him and pulled again and finally got him out. She put him under one arm and folded the stroller with another. She was not holding him, she had him under her arm like you'd carry a package. She got on the bus and sat down in the front, opposite her friend, the baby still under her arm. She then took him and literally threw him into the seat next to her. Had he not pulled his head forward, his head would had slammed into the back of the seat. For the rest of the bus ride, she did not once look at him or talk to him. She only leaned forward and talked to the other Indian woman and the Indian kids. The little boy sat like an angel and never moved or said a word. She never once said she was sorry for hurting him or showed any concern or care for him. I got off at 3rd Ave and they stayed on. I felt so sorry for this little boy and would love for his mother to see this and make some changes.
W. 23rd Street/Crosstown Bus/NYC
Nanny: Indian woman, long black hair, black dress with flower pattern, about mid 30's, just finished shopping at Buy Buy Baby.
Little boy: about 2 years old, blue eyes, brown hair, noticeable cut over his left eye.
I was on the bus sometime in July or early August. It was during that terrible heat wave we had, when the temperature was about 105 degrees. I looked out the window at a nanny pushing a stroller (Travel Time stroller) to the bus, calling for the bus to wait. She was with another Indian woman and two Indian children. They got on the bus first and sat in the front. The nanny then tried to get the little boy out of the stroller by grabbing his arms and repeatedly pulling on him and slamming his legs into the bar in front of the carriage. She had him by the arms, one arm twisted behind his back, and just slamming him over and over into the bar. Of course, he was crying at this point because she was hurting him. She was very frustrated at not being able to get him out and threw him back down and tried to undo the seatbelt. She then went through the pulling process again. She still couldn't get him out and the bus was waiting, so she threw him down again and tried the seat belt again. She then grabbed him and pulled again and finally got him out. She put him under one arm and folded the stroller with another. She was not holding him, she had him under her arm like you'd carry a package. She got on the bus and sat down in the front, opposite her friend, the baby still under her arm. She then took him and literally threw him into the seat next to her. Had he not pulled his head forward, his head would had slammed into the back of the seat. For the rest of the bus ride, she did not once look at him or talk to him. She only leaned forward and talked to the other Indian woman and the Indian kids. The little boy sat like an angel and never moved or said a word. She never once said she was sorry for hurting him or showed any concern or care for him. I got off at 3rd Ave and they stayed on. I felt so sorry for this little boy and would love for his mother to see this and make some changes.
Nanny Bashing???
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Janice the Nanny continues to inundate this site with her concerns that nannies are being bashed. She seems to think we should seek out submissions from people who observe "good nannies". We believe that a good nanny is simply doing the job she was hired to do, but would be curious to hear what our readers think of Janice's idea.
Click here to read Janice's latest (and lengthy) letter on behalf of nannies. Please leave your comments!
Janice the Nanny continues to inundate this site with her concerns that nannies are being bashed. She seems to think we should seek out submissions from people who observe "good nannies". We believe that a good nanny is simply doing the job she was hired to do, but would be curious to hear what our readers think of Janice's idea.
Click here to read Janice's latest (and lengthy) letter on behalf of nannies. Please leave your comments!
Piedmont, CA .... looking for the parents of Lucas & Elias
Received Thursday, September 14, 2006
Piedmont, CA Dracena Park & the park on Linda Avenue.
If you are or know the parents of Lucas (approximately 2 years of age) and Elias (under 1 year – around 10 months) in the Piedmont, California area, please contact me at parkmoms@hotmail.com. This nanny has been seen with these children at Dracena Park and the little park on Linda Avenue (adjacent to Beach School). She appears to be Hispanic and the little boys are fair-skinned with light hair. I have witnessed what I thought to be neglectful behavior and have recently confirmed that this was not an isolated incident.
Piedmont, CA Dracena Park & the park on Linda Avenue.
If you are or know the parents of Lucas (approximately 2 years of age) and Elias (under 1 year – around 10 months) in the Piedmont, California area, please contact me at parkmoms@hotmail.com. This nanny has been seen with these children at Dracena Park and the little park on Linda Avenue (adjacent to Beach School). She appears to be Hispanic and the little boys are fair-skinned with light hair. I have witnessed what I thought to be neglectful behavior and have recently confirmed that this was not an isolated incident.
West 94th. near Mandell Nursery School
Received: Thursday, September 14, 2006
If you have a little boy who has curly reddish hair and is about three years old, I have seen your son around the neighborhood with his nanny. She is in her mid twenties, straight brown hair which she wears back off her face. She is always smiling and talking to your son. They are so connected and you can just tell how much she adores him and he adores her! I just wanted to know that your nanny makes me smile! Your nanny makes me smile, she is so good to that little boy, is not above carrying him or slinging him on her back to give him a ride. This morning I saw her walking with him (in his blue slicker) jumping together into a large puddle! They are always laughing. They are always coming or going from somewhere and always seem to be having the grandest of times, regardless of the weather!
If you have a little boy who has curly reddish hair and is about three years old, I have seen your son around the neighborhood with his nanny. She is in her mid twenties, straight brown hair which she wears back off her face. She is always smiling and talking to your son. They are so connected and you can just tell how much she adores him and he adores her! I just wanted to know that your nanny makes me smile! Your nanny makes me smile, she is so good to that little boy, is not above carrying him or slinging him on her back to give him a ride. This morning I saw her walking with him (in his blue slicker) jumping together into a large puddle! They are always laughing. They are always coming or going from somewhere and always seem to be having the grandest of times, regardless of the weather!
Wednesday
Fun For All Indoor Playpark Jefferson, NY
Wednesday, September 13, 2006 11:00 AM
To the mother of "Samantha". You sent your two year old to Fun For All on Wednesday morning. I overheard your nanny speaking on the phone to you, it sounded like you were calling to make sure she got there and that she (the nanny) could keep Samantha occupied until 3. The nanny said, "I should keep her here until 3".
The two year old was tired of things by noon. The nanny then bought her lunch there but didn't even appear to have enough money to cover the two year old's drink and food! She was counting out change from the bottom of her pocketbook! After the child was finished eating, the nanny ate her leftovers. I don't know who your are but I made sympathetic eye contact with your nanny while she spoke to you. I could hear your shrill voice emanating from beyond the ear piece. The next time you need your tiny two year old out of the house, maybe you could give the nanny five extra dollars so she can buy herself a hotdog instead of being relegated to eat the toddler's picked over food! And what were you doing that was so important that you needed your daughter kept out of your home? Shouldn't she be home napping? When the nanny finally did leave, I heard her say she would drive slow. God forbid, you should be inconvenienced with the presence of your child! So basically I saw your nanny dealing with the horror that must be you and your aversion to your own child.
To the mother of "Samantha". You sent your two year old to Fun For All on Wednesday morning. I overheard your nanny speaking on the phone to you, it sounded like you were calling to make sure she got there and that she (the nanny) could keep Samantha occupied until 3. The nanny said, "I should keep her here until 3".
The two year old was tired of things by noon. The nanny then bought her lunch there but didn't even appear to have enough money to cover the two year old's drink and food! She was counting out change from the bottom of her pocketbook! After the child was finished eating, the nanny ate her leftovers. I don't know who your are but I made sympathetic eye contact with your nanny while she spoke to you. I could hear your shrill voice emanating from beyond the ear piece. The next time you need your tiny two year old out of the house, maybe you could give the nanny five extra dollars so she can buy herself a hotdog instead of being relegated to eat the toddler's picked over food! And what were you doing that was so important that you needed your daughter kept out of your home? Shouldn't she be home napping? When the nanny finally did leave, I heard her say she would drive slow. God forbid, you should be inconvenienced with the presence of your child! So basically I saw your nanny dealing with the horror that must be you and your aversion to your own child.
Tuesday
Forest Park walking from the Elementary School Alexandria. VA
Tuesday, September 12, 2006 3:00 PM
I witnessed a boy I think was about six years old walking from the elementary school to Forest Park. The kid looked so happy and excited. He wanted to get home because he had made plans with his friend to come over and play. The nanny said, "oh no, all you do is make a mess at home, you can play here". The kid started to argue with her but she put her foot down and made a few more comments about how she wasn't in the mood to clean up one of his messes. The kid looked pretty sad but eventually realized his only choice was to play at the park. Which might have been fine except he didn't seem to know many people because he played on his own. The nanny plopped herself down and started reading her magazine.
The nanny wore a red zipper sweat shirt over a white shirt, black pants and some kind of almost velvet looking high top tennis shoes. She wore her hair in a pony tail with a blue band and was African American. The boys was wearing jeans, a white collared shirt and Nike tennis shoes. The nanny seems like a lazy b*tch, if she is your nanny, I suggest you start making playdates for your son. This is what children do at this age! What are you paying this woman for?
P.S. Boys make messes. That's what they do!
I witnessed a boy I think was about six years old walking from the elementary school to Forest Park. The kid looked so happy and excited. He wanted to get home because he had made plans with his friend to come over and play. The nanny said, "oh no, all you do is make a mess at home, you can play here". The kid started to argue with her but she put her foot down and made a few more comments about how she wasn't in the mood to clean up one of his messes. The kid looked pretty sad but eventually realized his only choice was to play at the park. Which might have been fine except he didn't seem to know many people because he played on his own. The nanny plopped herself down and started reading her magazine.
The nanny wore a red zipper sweat shirt over a white shirt, black pants and some kind of almost velvet looking high top tennis shoes. She wore her hair in a pony tail with a blue band and was African American. The boys was wearing jeans, a white collared shirt and Nike tennis shoes. The nanny seems like a lazy b*tch, if she is your nanny, I suggest you start making playdates for your son. This is what children do at this age! What are you paying this woman for?
P.S. Boys make messes. That's what they do!
North Field Park, Glencoe, Illinois
Tuesday, September 12, 2006 10:45 AM
Very fit looking petite nanny with dark hair, light complexion and blue eyes. She may have a French accent. I often see her jogging pushing a Phil and Ted's blue and black stroller. She runs in the rain and when it is really hot out. She wears ear buds connected to an IPOD. The baby she takes care of is only about six months old. The baby can be screaming his lungs out and she is oblivious. I am all for a nanny who would prefer to get physical activity instead of sitting on a sofa at home, but on more than one occasion I see her run passed me and the child is just screaming. Seems kind of selfish to put her needs before the needs of the child in her care. Not too mention, the child is really screaming sometimes. Maybe this is how she gets him to sleep. Just thought I would mention it. Nanny runs in black lycra running pants and Adidas tennis shoes. Seems very committed to fitness and looking good, not so committed to young child who may need attention.
Very fit looking petite nanny with dark hair, light complexion and blue eyes. She may have a French accent. I often see her jogging pushing a Phil and Ted's blue and black stroller. She runs in the rain and when it is really hot out. She wears ear buds connected to an IPOD. The baby she takes care of is only about six months old. The baby can be screaming his lungs out and she is oblivious. I am all for a nanny who would prefer to get physical activity instead of sitting on a sofa at home, but on more than one occasion I see her run passed me and the child is just screaming. Seems kind of selfish to put her needs before the needs of the child in her care. Not too mention, the child is really screaming sometimes. Maybe this is how she gets him to sleep. Just thought I would mention it. Nanny runs in black lycra running pants and Adidas tennis shoes. Seems very committed to fitness and looking good, not so committed to young child who may need attention.
Monday
Walnut Acres Elementary School- Walnut Creek, CA
Monday, September 11, 2006
I think this is a nanny and I think that she is doing a drop off/pick up at Walnut Acres Elementary School, but I could be wrong. (I cannot see the ages of the children but it is also possible they may go to FMS). I have seen her four times already this year, driving a brand new black Jeep Cherokee (shiny and clean). The nanny looks young and blonde and wears her hair in a pony tail. She is driving two children to and from school. Both children ride in the back seat and are likely boys. The nanny (or mother) is a terrible driver who often speaks on her cell phone or seems to be fumbling with the radio or things within the vehicle. I have seen her on Blackstone Drive and on Walnut Avenue. She isn't running red lights; she just looks like a klutz. Her driving is jerky. She doesn't seem aware of her surroundings. I will continue to monitor this. It is early in the school year and could be nothing. Something seems off but I don't really have anything specific to site to call the police.
I think this is a nanny and I think that she is doing a drop off/pick up at Walnut Acres Elementary School, but I could be wrong. (I cannot see the ages of the children but it is also possible they may go to FMS). I have seen her four times already this year, driving a brand new black Jeep Cherokee (shiny and clean). The nanny looks young and blonde and wears her hair in a pony tail. She is driving two children to and from school. Both children ride in the back seat and are likely boys. The nanny (or mother) is a terrible driver who often speaks on her cell phone or seems to be fumbling with the radio or things within the vehicle. I have seen her on Blackstone Drive and on Walnut Avenue. She isn't running red lights; she just looks like a klutz. Her driving is jerky. She doesn't seem aware of her surroundings. I will continue to monitor this. It is early in the school year and could be nothing. Something seems off but I don't really have anything specific to site to call the police.
Lincoln Avenue/ Neguntatoque Park Lindenhurst, NY
Monday, September 11, 2006 1:30 PM
Two African American Nannies having an explicit conversation peppered with foul language and crude sentiment while supervising the children in their care. Nanny #1 had one child who was approximately three years old who was quite possibly out of earshot. Nanny #2 had a child who was possibly an 18 months who was at her feet, holding on to her knees and the stroller during the nanny's entire tirade. The nanny was attentive and sweet to the child in her care, but she did not seem to comprehend how inappropriate the language she used was. Nanny #1 was mostly just listening to nanny #1 who was angry about a problem with her sister. Nanny #2 may have been named "Pam" and was heavyset and wore black capris and a black, ribbed tank top. The little girl she was taking care of was wearing a yellow t-shirt with a silhouette of an old fashioned girl on it and white jean type pants. The child had brown hair with a pony tail gathered at the front of her head. Nanny #1 was slim with short hair, big eyes and she wore a blue sweat suit outfit (Juicy style but not Juicy). The boy she took care of was named Adam, short, buzzed hair, red shirt, blue jeans, etc.
Two African American Nannies having an explicit conversation peppered with foul language and crude sentiment while supervising the children in their care. Nanny #1 had one child who was approximately three years old who was quite possibly out of earshot. Nanny #2 had a child who was possibly an 18 months who was at her feet, holding on to her knees and the stroller during the nanny's entire tirade. The nanny was attentive and sweet to the child in her care, but she did not seem to comprehend how inappropriate the language she used was. Nanny #1 was mostly just listening to nanny #1 who was angry about a problem with her sister. Nanny #2 may have been named "Pam" and was heavyset and wore black capris and a black, ribbed tank top. The little girl she was taking care of was wearing a yellow t-shirt with a silhouette of an old fashioned girl on it and white jean type pants. The child had brown hair with a pony tail gathered at the front of her head. Nanny #1 was slim with short hair, big eyes and she wore a blue sweat suit outfit (Juicy style but not Juicy). The boy she took care of was named Adam, short, buzzed hair, red shirt, blue jeans, etc.
Saturday
Bronx Zoo- Two girls in a Jeep green & blue double stroller
Friday September 8, 2006 11:00 AM Bronx Zoo
If you have two (beautiful) blondish girls approximately 1 & 3 who were at the Bronx Zoo on Friday, September 8 at around 11 AM, I witnessed your nanny while I was at the zoo with the children I nanny for. The child who looked to be about one dropped her sippy cup and the nanny was very gruff with her. When she returned the sippy cup to her, she may have squeezed the little girls hand. I could not exactly see what she did but the child started crying and the nanny appeared angry. The three year old could not see much from her vantage point and she kept asking to "get down". The nanny told her she or it was "too much hassle". As near as I can see, this nanny being at the zoo was nothing more than the nanny taking a walk and getting her exercise in. She strolled by us about four times (or us by her). I saw the children get to stop at one exhibit only. And you thought your children spent a beautiful day at the zoo seeing the animals? Your stroller is not a side by side so your poor three year old saw nothing, although I did see her looking out the side at the other children who were being hoisted and lifted to see the animals! I did not see her at the children's zoo, I hope she went and let the children get down and go in (although she didn't seem like to type to be bothered). Description: New York yankees blue shirt and "apple bottoms" jeans with tennis shoes. Approximately 25 years old and may have had a Caribbean accent.
If you have two (beautiful) blondish girls approximately 1 & 3 who were at the Bronx Zoo on Friday, September 8 at around 11 AM, I witnessed your nanny while I was at the zoo with the children I nanny for. The child who looked to be about one dropped her sippy cup and the nanny was very gruff with her. When she returned the sippy cup to her, she may have squeezed the little girls hand. I could not exactly see what she did but the child started crying and the nanny appeared angry. The three year old could not see much from her vantage point and she kept asking to "get down". The nanny told her she or it was "too much hassle". As near as I can see, this nanny being at the zoo was nothing more than the nanny taking a walk and getting her exercise in. She strolled by us about four times (or us by her). I saw the children get to stop at one exhibit only. And you thought your children spent a beautiful day at the zoo seeing the animals? Your stroller is not a side by side so your poor three year old saw nothing, although I did see her looking out the side at the other children who were being hoisted and lifted to see the animals! I did not see her at the children's zoo, I hope she went and let the children get down and go in (although she didn't seem like to type to be bothered). Description: New York yankees blue shirt and "apple bottoms" jeans with tennis shoes. Approximately 25 years old and may have had a Caribbean accent.
Thursday
Playing Favorites around 11th & W 52nd NYC
Received Thursday, September 7, 2006
This may not be the forum for this but I am sooooo sick of seeing the nanny "Sherri" mistreating the boy in her care. He is five or six and his name is Jake. He has a sister Amanda who has long, brown hair and is eight or nine. The nanny is always rude to the boys but dotes on the Amanda. Amanda is often with a friend of hers of the same age with long, wavy dark hair. It doesn't really seem like Amanda needs to be doted on because she has a friend that she is always with. Meanwhile Jake is always with the nanny. He looks like a very, sad boy. Maybe the nanny feels cool, like she is one of the girlfriends- but her walking with the two girls and Jake dragging behind breaks my heart. If he is behind them, she says "hurry up". If he is ahead of them, "get back here". Yet there is zero connection between the two of them. I can't figure out the deal with that nanny but you should consider that if she is that mean to him in front of her sister and on a bustling public street, I dare not imagine how she treats him when he is alone with her. Anything Amanda wants (soda, to stop here or there- she gets). All Jake hears is "no". And never even a nice no! Amanda's friend is "Finn". If this reaches the parents of Jake and Amanda, you might want to talk to Amanda about sticking up for her little brother!
This may not be the forum for this but I am sooooo sick of seeing the nanny "Sherri" mistreating the boy in her care. He is five or six and his name is Jake. He has a sister Amanda who has long, brown hair and is eight or nine. The nanny is always rude to the boys but dotes on the Amanda. Amanda is often with a friend of hers of the same age with long, wavy dark hair. It doesn't really seem like Amanda needs to be doted on because she has a friend that she is always with. Meanwhile Jake is always with the nanny. He looks like a very, sad boy. Maybe the nanny feels cool, like she is one of the girlfriends- but her walking with the two girls and Jake dragging behind breaks my heart. If he is behind them, she says "hurry up". If he is ahead of them, "get back here". Yet there is zero connection between the two of them. I can't figure out the deal with that nanny but you should consider that if she is that mean to him in front of her sister and on a bustling public street, I dare not imagine how she treats him when he is alone with her. Anything Amanda wants (soda, to stop here or there- she gets). All Jake hears is "no". And never even a nice no! Amanda's friend is "Finn". If this reaches the parents of Jake and Amanda, you might want to talk to Amanda about sticking up for her little brother!
Wednesday
Jefferson Elementary School, Pelham NY
Received Wednesday, September 6, 2006
Your child is being driven to school by a caucasian nanny who drives a Volvo SUV. I have observed the nanny driving to school and from school with your daughter while on her cellphone. I have also noticed her lighting up a ciggarette in the car after dropping off and before picking up- if this is okay with you- fine. I wouldn't want my child driving around in a car that had been smoked in nor would I want her transported around by someone who was constantly gabbing on her cellphone. Not to be petty, but something about this nanny irks me!
Your child is being driven to school by a caucasian nanny who drives a Volvo SUV. I have observed the nanny driving to school and from school with your daughter while on her cellphone. I have also noticed her lighting up a ciggarette in the car after dropping off and before picking up- if this is okay with you- fine. I wouldn't want my child driving around in a car that had been smoked in nor would I want her transported around by someone who was constantly gabbing on her cellphone. Not to be petty, but something about this nanny irks me!
Leroy Street Nanny, NYC
Received Wednesday, September 6, 2006
If your nanny is often walking your child (boy between 9-12 months), I see her all of the time. She walks to Starbucks often with your child. I have seen her in Starbucks. When your child starts crying, she says "oh, stop crying, stop crying". The nanny is focused on getting her coffee but the child never has a bottle, crackers or even a toy to amuse himself. I don't like the tone in which she speaks to your child. Isn't it her job to take care of the child? Because she behaves as if the child is interfering with her coffee obtaining and newspaper reading. She pushes your child in an orange Valco Runabout stroller. If this sounds like you, I hope you get a nanny camera. I don't know how to describe your nanny. She has a perpetually annoyed look on her face and is a very dark complected AA who obviously takes great pride in her figure (tight jeans, etc). If she smiled, she would probably be attractive.
If your nanny is often walking your child (boy between 9-12 months), I see her all of the time. She walks to Starbucks often with your child. I have seen her in Starbucks. When your child starts crying, she says "oh, stop crying, stop crying". The nanny is focused on getting her coffee but the child never has a bottle, crackers or even a toy to amuse himself. I don't like the tone in which she speaks to your child. Isn't it her job to take care of the child? Because she behaves as if the child is interfering with her coffee obtaining and newspaper reading. She pushes your child in an orange Valco Runabout stroller. If this sounds like you, I hope you get a nanny camera. I don't know how to describe your nanny. She has a perpetually annoyed look on her face and is a very dark complected AA who obviously takes great pride in her figure (tight jeans, etc). If she smiled, she would probably be attractive.
Tuesday
Montemalaga Elementary School; Palos Verdes, CA
Tuesday, September 5, 2006
If your blonde daughter was wearing a red t-shirt and white capris type pants and is about 8 years old and was being walked to Montemalaga Elementary School by an African American woman who is about 50 years old, I think you should know that she did not walk her all the way to school this morning. I thought this was weird because the child asked her "you're not walking me all the way?". The woman replied, "you're not a baby". And the child seemed disappointed. If this is okay with the parents, it is one thing. If the nanny is disregarding your instructions, I wanted you to know. She did walk her to the approximate corner of Via Fernandez and Via Balboa.
If your blonde daughter was wearing a red t-shirt and white capris type pants and is about 8 years old and was being walked to Montemalaga Elementary School by an African American woman who is about 50 years old, I think you should know that she did not walk her all the way to school this morning. I thought this was weird because the child asked her "you're not walking me all the way?". The woman replied, "you're not a baby". And the child seemed disappointed. If this is okay with the parents, it is one thing. If the nanny is disregarding your instructions, I wanted you to know. She did walk her to the approximate corner of Via Fernandez and Via Balboa.
Morningside Park, NYC
Received Tuesday, September 5, 2006
Twins, approximately six months old being cared for by a nanny:
These twins are walked to the park most nice days. The nanny then sits on a bench and eats her bagel and gabs on her cell phone. It bothers me that when she is on the phone, she shakes the stroller and says, "no, no, no, no, no" when one of them start crying. (Never straying from her cell phone conversation which is always in Spanish). I am not sure whether she speaks English or not. Quite honestly, I wonder why you would hire someone like her to take care of your children because she seems so disconnected from them, nothing about her says, "care". Your children are in an expensive stroller and wear really nice clothing, why don't you focus some of that money on their proper care? The children are in a double, side by side stroller and are very fair. The nanny is Hispanic, 30-40, about 5'5" and probably a size 12-14.
Twins, approximately six months old being cared for by a nanny:
These twins are walked to the park most nice days. The nanny then sits on a bench and eats her bagel and gabs on her cell phone. It bothers me that when she is on the phone, she shakes the stroller and says, "no, no, no, no, no" when one of them start crying. (Never straying from her cell phone conversation which is always in Spanish). I am not sure whether she speaks English or not. Quite honestly, I wonder why you would hire someone like her to take care of your children because she seems so disconnected from them, nothing about her says, "care". Your children are in an expensive stroller and wear really nice clothing, why don't you focus some of that money on their proper care? The children are in a double, side by side stroller and are very fair. The nanny is Hispanic, 30-40, about 5'5" and probably a size 12-14.
Monday
If you have two boys attending Bronx High School for Social Change
Received Monday, September 4, 2006
Just know I am in a position to hear your nanny gossiping endlessly about personal details about your family life. I know where your husband works and how much he makes. The nanny talks about you in such a way that suggests you somehow "lucked in to a job" and now have the ability to make more money than you deserve. She also frequently talks about your husband in a sexual way, suggesting that he has made advances towards her and she could have him at any time. She also says you know your sons are smoking pot and drinking but are too caught up in your own life to care and that your husband handles everything related to the boys. Not exactly negligent, but it would burn me up if my nanny spoke about me like this. (I am one of about 30 people who are privy to the details of you and your family). You might want to pull her aside and talk to her about respecting your privacy.
Just know I am in a position to hear your nanny gossiping endlessly about personal details about your family life. I know where your husband works and how much he makes. The nanny talks about you in such a way that suggests you somehow "lucked in to a job" and now have the ability to make more money than you deserve. She also frequently talks about your husband in a sexual way, suggesting that he has made advances towards her and she could have him at any time. She also says you know your sons are smoking pot and drinking but are too caught up in your own life to care and that your husband handles everything related to the boys. Not exactly negligent, but it would burn me up if my nanny spoke about me like this. (I am one of about 30 people who are privy to the details of you and your family). You might want to pull her aside and talk to her about respecting your privacy.
Friday
Hillsdale, NJ
Received September 1, 2006
I have seen your nanny many times walking on Hopper Street and at Hillsdale Memorial Park. She is always on her cell phone. You have one child who has dark, curly hair and wears a lot of Gap clothing. She pushes him in a white and blue stroller that frankly he looks a little too big for. I have never ever seen your nanny interact with the child nor have I ever seen her off of her cellphone. I don't think it is so abnormal to be occasionally on a cell phone but your child looks like he is dying for some sort of interaction! Please check this out yourself and decide for yourself if this is okay with you!
I have seen your nanny many times walking on Hopper Street and at Hillsdale Memorial Park. She is always on her cell phone. You have one child who has dark, curly hair and wears a lot of Gap clothing. She pushes him in a white and blue stroller that frankly he looks a little too big for. I have never ever seen your nanny interact with the child nor have I ever seen her off of her cellphone. I don't think it is so abnormal to be occasionally on a cell phone but your child looks like he is dying for some sort of interaction! Please check this out yourself and decide for yourself if this is okay with you!
Rea Community Center; Costa Mesa, California
Received September 1, 2006
If you have a five year old boy names "Steven", your nanny or Au pair (European sounding, looking) is very impatient with your son and seemed to be laughing at him with her friend (also of European descent). I overheard her tell him, "Don't be stupid" and "That's stupid, no, no and no". All he wanted to do was use her coffee cup to get water to do something in the dirt with his friend. I hardly thought that was necessary. Also, your son, Steven seems like such a sweet kid. I think he deserves to have a kinder childcare provider.
If you have a five year old boy names "Steven", your nanny or Au pair (European sounding, looking) is very impatient with your son and seemed to be laughing at him with her friend (also of European descent). I overheard her tell him, "Don't be stupid" and "That's stupid, no, no and no". All he wanted to do was use her coffee cup to get water to do something in the dirt with his friend. I hardly thought that was necessary. Also, your son, Steven seems like such a sweet kid. I think he deserves to have a kinder childcare provider.
Harbor Island Park- Mamaroneck napping nanny?
August 31, 2006; approximately 10:00 a.m.
I drove to Harbor Island Park with my daughter, yesterday (Thursday) morning at around 10. It wasn't the best day to be at the park, but we wanted some fresh air. I noticed a woman semi reclined and sleeping in the driver's seat of a red Jeep Cherokee. We did not stay long at the park. When I drove away from the parking lot, I realized the woman had a child in a car seat. The child might also have been asleep. The person who I think was a nanny woke up as I slowed and was peering in. I don't know that this is necessary negligent but I would hate to think that I thought my child was going to the park to get some fresh air but that the nanny was just parking in the lot to take a nap. (She wasn't even parked in the spots nearest to the park which would have indicated a clearer indication of attempting or having attempted using the park). I only got a quick look at the woman, she had a dark complexion, dark hair (African American) and was wearing a greyish shirt or sweatshirt. She appeared to be on the thin side, maybe 30-40 years old. The child looked to be a boy with blondish hair. He was wearing what I think was a yellow shirt. I am guessing he was 3.
I drove to Harbor Island Park with my daughter, yesterday (Thursday) morning at around 10. It wasn't the best day to be at the park, but we wanted some fresh air. I noticed a woman semi reclined and sleeping in the driver's seat of a red Jeep Cherokee. We did not stay long at the park. When I drove away from the parking lot, I realized the woman had a child in a car seat. The child might also have been asleep. The person who I think was a nanny woke up as I slowed and was peering in. I don't know that this is necessary negligent but I would hate to think that I thought my child was going to the park to get some fresh air but that the nanny was just parking in the lot to take a nap. (She wasn't even parked in the spots nearest to the park which would have indicated a clearer indication of attempting or having attempted using the park). I only got a quick look at the woman, she had a dark complexion, dark hair (African American) and was wearing a greyish shirt or sweatshirt. She appeared to be on the thin side, maybe 30-40 years old. The child looked to be a boy with blondish hair. He was wearing what I think was a yellow shirt. I am guessing he was 3.
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