29 May, 2011

Does Being a Nanny Make you Feel Like a Prostitute?

opinion 2 I have been working with children for the past 10 years first as a daycare teacher and for the last 4 years as a nanny. I personally am very happy with my job. I love the children and the parents I work for and I feel respected by them. My only issue with my job is the reaction I get from other people when I tell them what I do. I feel like I am telling them I'm a prostitute. I get this look of pity and disappointment, like why is that what you are doing and immediately I feel like they think less of me. It might be my own paranoia I'm not sure, I would love to get opinions from other nannies about how they feel about this, if they have experienced that same reaction and how they deal with it. Or if I'm just being extra sensitive about it. Any advice would help I don't have any nanny friends I can talk to about this. Thanks so much.


Mother's Concern Over Child's Reaction to his Nanny

opinion 2 In lieu of a recent post by a mom who was concerned about her 4-year-old's reaction to his nanny, I would like to pose a question to the experienced nannies out there...

Our nanny has been working for us for just about a year. We have aone-year-old and a 3 1/2 year old, both boys. "Jane" absolutely adores our 1-year-old but by nature, isn't the bubbly, engaging type and has difficulty connecting with my older son. Jane tends to be conservative and very even-keel, laughs/smiles only minimally, but is overall a kind and dedicated professional. Our sons are always clean, fed, and rested.

The problem: Whenever Jane comes into our home, our 3-year-old decompensates, bursts into tears, and clings onto my leg. He says things like, "She's mean to me," "She doesn't like me," "She's mad at me." The trouble with this also is that he has said similar things about his friends when he has a hard time with them, so I tend to believe this is just how he expresses interpersonal struggles with others and it is not necessarily an accurate depiction of his experiences with Jane.

Jane deals with this son by basically ignoring him, even when I am in the home. I try and encourage her to engage him when he behaves this way but I have to also understand that she is a person too, and having someone greet one in this manner each day (2 days a week) can be a bit over the top and irritating. That being said, which one came first? The chicken or the egg?

I don't want to let Jane go and my son will be starting preschool in a few weeks, which means he will be gone about half the time she is working and a big chunk of the other time, he will be napping. I can't help, though, but wonder if my son's reactions indicate an incongruence between the nanny/charge fit and if so, considering our satisfaction with her in other arenas, is this an appropriate and viable reason to look for someone different? Thanks in advance, for
any advice.

- Mom, pulled in 2 different directions


Opinions on Independent Play?

opinion 2 I'm curious... Nannies, do you give your charges time for independent play throughout the day? If you are working in a home with a stay or work-at-home parent (or there is a nanny cam in your presence), do you feel pressured to constantly stimulate your charges (to not appear like a slacker to the parents) though you feel they benefit otherwise? Parents, what is your take on this? Do you believe nannies should allow for individual play or constant stimulation?


Am I Asking Too Much?

opinion 2 I have given Girly some chores while I'm there, she of course does none when she is with her parents but I get the impression mom isn't too happy with the list of chores I expect Girly to do. Girly is 5 1/2 and Monkey is almost 2 so right now the only chore he does is to help me clean up, once he gets older and understands better he of course will have more things to do.

Keep in mind Girly goes to school part time so she is only at the house with me 2 days a week and all together it takes her about 10 minutes to complete her chores. I also keep up with things on the days she is not there, and save for a couple of times when I'm really sick I never leave things for her to do on the days she is there.

Girly is in charge of her clothes, which usually consist of 1-2 outfits, panties, and pajamas. She has to hang up her clothes but the rest of the stuff goes in drawers and I fold it all before I give it to her. I also have her take Monkey's clothes with her and leave them on the changing table and I put them up next time I go up the stairs, she's never had to put up his clothes unless she's wanted to, there have been times she's asked to put some of his stuff up and I gladly let her.

She also has to help with the dishes, but it's only hers and Monkey's dishes along with the silverware. Usually we are talking about 10 pieces of silverware and 6 sippie cups and a plate or two. On a side note the dishwasher is completely empty when I leave, every bit of the dishes are from after I leave and half of the sippie cups are hers.... already tried to fight that battle, gave up. She also picks up the living room if Monkey isn't up from his nap, while I finish the putting away the other dishes. If he is up from his nap than all three of us clean up the toys in the living room.

Is that too many chores for a 5yr old? The mother never says anything to me but if I ask Girly to do something while she is there she does it for her, or Girly comes back with phrases like "That's not my job, that's yours" or "You get paid to do that not me". Those are not phrases a typical 5 1/2 year old would say so I know they are coming from someone either the mom or the dad, though I do suspect it's from the father not the mother.


a day in the life
By Nanny Robyn
Here is my day in the life submission for my amazing job taking care of 2 young girls :)

7:55 - Arrive, get buzzed up into the apartment.

8:00 - Make it up to the apartment, greeted with a very sunny "Hi! I missed you!" from Toddler Girl. MB asks me how my weekend was, and lets me know that Baby Girl has just gone down for her first nap of the day. I pop my lunch in the fridge.

8:05 - Prepare breakfast for TG and sit with her while she eats, while MB goes to get ready for work.

8:20 - TG is done with breakfast, she helps me clear the dishes and goes to play with her fake food and cooking set. I suggest we bake a pretend cake, and she agrees.

8:30 - We've baked 3 types of cakes already, and MB is out the door. We say goodbye (no tears from TG today, thankfully!) We spend another half hour playing with the cooking set and talking about random things. TG tells me about her ballet class she went to yesterday, and shows me some moves.

9:15 - Baby Girl is awake! I go to her room and am greeted by the happiest, most smiley baby I've ever encountered. I change her diaper and dress her.

9:20 - Feed BG a bottle while TG hunts for the kitty cat.

9:40 - We all get down on the floor to play with building blocks, and the cat appears to investigate.

10:30 - Snack time! A bit of cereal for BG, and strawberries and cheese for TG.

11:00 - We all settle down to read some books together. TG is full of 'why?' questions, and BG is content to watch us talk and chew on a toy.

11:30 - Another nap for BG. Close the blinds, turn off the light, rock her for a few minutes and then say 'goodnight!' TG and I decide to have a party for the cat, complete with pretend food and party hats I make out of some craft paper.

12:30 - BG is awake, and it's lunch time! A bottle and some yogurt for BG, while TG has leftover asparagus and a ham sandwich. Once BG decides to start feeding herself yogurt, I grab my veggie bagel and smoothie.

12:50 - Once lunch is done and cleaned up, we decide to go to the park. I put sunscreen on the girls, grab their shoes and hats, and pack up the stroller. Getting through the building with a stroller and an excited toddler is always a challenge, but thankfully someone holds the front door for me.

1:20 - What should have been a 10 minute walk takes twice as long, since TG loves to stop and pick every dandelion she encounters. BG is very content to sit in her stroller and babble at the cars that drive by. We get to the park, and TG takes off to go down the slide.

1:30 - BG and I hang out on a bench, and she practices standing. She holds on to the bench and stands all by herself for at least a minute!

1:45 - TG comes over, and we take a break for a snack. A few drinks from the bottle for BG, and dried fruit and grapes for TG. The grapes are too big for her to chew so I end up having to break them in half (which turns out to be challenging to do without a knife!)

2:15 - Time to leave! TG throws a fit and I end up having to carry her off the playground. By the time we've started walking back, she's back to her usual chipper self and is wondering if it hurts the flowers when she picks them.

2:45 - Back home, and another nap for BG. Once BG is asleep, TG and I read books in her parents' bed until she falls asleep. I sit down on the couch, check my email, and then grab my book.

3:45 - BG is awake. I change her diaper, and we play with maracas and an xylophone on the bedroom floor.

4:15 - TG wakes up, totally disoriented and sobbing. I calm her down by singing her favourite songs, and then we read a few more stories together. When BG gets bored, we decide it's time to dance! TG puts on her tutu, I put on some music, and we start dancing! BG likes to watch us and clap.

4:30 - Another bottle for BG, and I tidy up the girls' bedroom and any toys that have strayed into the living room. I wipe down the table and pick up and dropped food while TG tries to have a tea party with BG.

5:05 - MB is home, and the girls are so happy to see her! I give her a quick update on when BG ate and slept, and MB hears all about what we did that day from TG.

5:10 - I grab my stuff, and I'm ready to head out the door. MB and I chat for a few minutes, and then TG tells me "Bye! I miss you! I love you!" All I can think is that I'm so excited to come back tomorrow.


Advice Needed for Maternity Leave...

opinion 2 I have been a nanny for 11 yrs. I have been with my current family for just over 3 years. I am 11 weeks pregnant and have no idea how to tell my bosses. I am on the books through their company and not sure what my rights are for maternity leave? My woman boss is not very friendly with me so i am afraid this happy time in my life will just be a burden to her and i am nervous i will get let go, or be treated more poorly than she treats me now. I make very good money and only work 4 days a week so its hard to give that up. The parents are both home 75 percent of the time. I already have family to care for my child when i need to go back to work and was thinking of only taking off 8 weeks unpaid. I am just looking for any advise on how to approach them? Is 8 weeks off to much time to expect? Thank you for any advise.


28 May, 2011

"An example of the crappy nannies this site was made for..."

opinion 2
Hello ISYN readers...

I am a professional nanny who worked with a family part time for about a year. They have a little toddler daughter, a very sweet, docile child. I ended up leaving because they were not honoring what they had contracted to do (canceling days without payment)..I have not had any contact with this family nor do I wish to. However...

I see the new nanny all the time with the little girl and she is awful. Texting, never plays with the child, etc..an example of the crappy nannies this site was made for. Then a librarian and a play place owner both approached me to voice their concern-that this nanny is harsh, inappropriate, just nasty. I have observed all this since about March. Then last week I ran into her and the little girl walking. I was applying sunscreen to my charges and she asked to borrow it..I watched her spray sunscreen directly onto this chilkd's face, then use a wipe to wipe her eyes (which made it worse)..when I told her the wipes were stingy she dumped some water on a pair of pants that were in the stroller, and told the child to hold them on hour face. It was just so obvious that she could have cared less and she was not nice or gentle in the least. It was just so careless and it made me very uneasy.

I don't want to have contact with the family but I feel like they should know..I have never been comfortable with how she acts to the child, was more uneasy when the librarian and play place owner approached me, and the sunscreen thing is the icing on the cake. Is there any way I could contact them anonymously? Or does anyone have an idea?


26 May, 2011

ISYN on Good Morning America

in the news
Nanny Cam Debate: Snooping or Good Parenting?

Checking out Nanny Blogs, installing cameras and using GPS tracking are the latest steps Parents are taking to keep track of their Nannies. Good Morning America takes a look at what both Parents and Nannies opinions are of the latest Nanny surveillance technology.

24 May, 2011

East 70th St. Post Office - UES, NY

bad nanny sighting I saw this nanny today at approximately 11:30 am in line at the East 70th St. Post Office. She was on her phone, and kicking at the child in the stroller. The child was approximately 2-3, blondish curls a few inches long (though hard to describe more - when she realized that I and another man were paying attention, she began covering the child's head, wheeling the stroller around). The nanny was West Indian by accent, and you can see (vaguely) from the picture below. She became verbally combative when she noticed that we noticed, and began yelling. I paid for the stamp I needed, and her behavior was so erratic, and her kicking at the stroller had also continued, so I tried to take a picture with my phone. The nanny slapped the phone out of my hand, continued yelling at me, cursing wildly, and threatening me that if I tried to take her picture she would make sure I paid for it. I was badly shaken and tried to leave but the nanny followed me with threats and yelling in a very agitated manner. Since she WAS threatening me, I decided exactly to take her photo because she was behaving in such an agitated and aggressive manner - the nanny then blocked the exit I was going to take (down the ramp heading west on 70th st towards 3rd). She began repeatedly thrusting the stroller (with child inside) against walls, then the door, and slapped my phone out of my hand and after I picked it up off the floor I snapped the attached photo. After the incident I realized that a number of my personal photos had been deleted - and damage to the screen, which now has a break diagonally across it. I omitted to note, this nanny also slapped my glasses off.

There were numerous witnesses, only one other woman tried to intervene on behalf of the child (noting that she was shoving the stroller again and again into a door with child inside) and she was also verbally abused by the nanny (she said her husband was fu*%ing his secretary because she was so unattractive). The rest moved away - one of whom said to me, that the nanny was so crazy she was dangerous and just stay away. The nanny left going up towards Third Avenue on 70th.

God help the child in the stroller.
____________________________________________
OP was obviously shaken by this incident. After speaking with them, please note: "I didn't specify the gender of the child because from the cursory (before the nanny threw this cloth thing - a blanket? - over most of the kid) looking at the whole child, my impression clothes and all, it was a boy."

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Nanny hailed for saving toddler from path of Streets and Sanitation truck

hero nannies When nanny Jennifer Anton saw the white pickup truck careening toward her on the downtown sidewalk Saturday afternoon, she instinctively pushed away the stroller carrying her 20-month-old charge.

Little Tyler Jones was hospitalized but spared critical injuries because of her caregiver’s quick actions.

Anton was not as lucky.

“She’s an angel on this earth,” said Hugh Jones, Tyler’s father. “There’s no question that from the eyewitness accounts she pushed the stroller away and took the rather colossal hit herself.” (continued...)

TO READ THE REST: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

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Done, Done, and Done...

I JUST QUIT Dear MB and DB,
I'm not the best nanny for your kids anymore. I used to be. I showed up happy and ready to spend time with your kids. I taught them to read, do multiplication tables, and not eat like wild animals. We did activities, went on adventures, and built entire mini towns in the playroom. I still teach them things. I still love them. But 12 hours is a long day. I get your groceries, do your laundry and dishes, and clean your kitchen. I wake your kids, dress them, and make lunch and breakfast for them before you've showered. Your kitchen is clean and stocked before you arrive at work. Your laundry is done before you eat lunch. I pick up your kids and we talk about their day. We fend off bullies, bake treats, and reach new milestones before your commute home. They've had a dinner and a bath before you arrive home. Your children are fed, clean and sufficiently snuggled before you arrive, which is great because they'll be putting themselves to bed, alone, whenever they feel like it. Because you need downtime. That's cool. I'm just going to do my grocery shopping, laundry, and dishes in the 2.5 hours I have before I have to go to bed because I have to be back before dawn. Your kids love me.

MB, I follow all of your rules for them, which is especially great when I tell them no, and then you say yes 2 seconds later. I really love it when you ask me, the world's dumbest and most unreasonable Nanny, why I did not let your undernourished child have a lollipop in the middle of dinner. Silly stupid Nanny. So mean! Let's pause here to remember that I didn't evacuate during a hurricane to take care of your kids because you wanted to work from home. In the middle of a storm. And when the power went out (shocker!) you read a book behind a closed door while I entertained the kids without benefit of TV and lights. Sorry we built a fort in the playroom you never go in. I realize that was far messier than you're comfortable with, even if it was cleaned up spotless in an hour.

DB, I've never called in sick because I'm afraid the kids would starve because you can hardly work the faucet in the kitchen, let alone the toaster. You can't even change them out of PJs. And are those sick days paid? Who knows? But I totally see your point, that I'm a failure as a Nanny because your 4 year old doesn't know his 12 times tables.

So this is me, totally burnt out. I worked 60 and 70 hour weeks. I've done all you've asked, and I've endured MB's fascination with my diet ("You're eating that? What is it? You like that? I don't know, should I be concerned my Nanny is eating that?" Let's solve the mystery. It's chicken nuggets, and if you were swamped with chores and caring for children, you might eat dinosaur shaped meat, too. And if you're concerned about the hazard of my eating them, you watch the kiddies while I whip up a salad, savvy? Or better yet, just tell me what to eat. Because I cant even go to the bathroom without someone looking for me).

I've been there for your kids and my fridge is covered in drawings. But I'm moving on. Your kids are fantastic, you should get to know them sometime. Pencil in a chocolate bunny dinner. I'm out!

Hearts and stars,
Nanny

Dear Nannies of the Internet,
I'm out of this house and this profession, because I don't know how you saints put up with it. I'm a mortal who finds the task of being upbeat and creative for 12 hours a day 5 days a week impossible. I look up to you, digital friends.


23 May, 2011

Trader Joe's - Chelsea, Manhattan, NY

bad nanny sighting I don't normally comment or get upset but today while I was at Trader Joe's I noticed a nanny with a baby in a stroller who wasn't strapped in. I saw her multiple times and am positive the child wasn't strapped at all. The nanny was a bit chubby, wearing a Giants t-shirt, Hispanic maybe? It was an Uppa Baby Vista stroller and had an apartment building valet ticket #7337. It was at the TJ's in Chelsea at 1:30 pm. I'd be livid if my nanny didn't strap one of my children in!


Should Nanny Reveal to Family She is Gay?

opinion 2 Question A: I was wondering if there are any nannies who read this site who are gay and are out to their bosses? Moms and dads who read this, would you be okay with having a nanny who was gay? Would you want to know?

I've been at my current position for over a year. My MB works from home so we spend lots of time together and we're quite close. Usually we spend at least an hour a day just sitting around talking about the kids, her job, my life, their family, and so on. I'm single and I date around quite a bit, so my romantic life is a frequent topic of discussion as I tell her the ridiculous stuff that happens sometimes on dates and seek advice from her when one of my dates does something that confuses me.

The issue is, I'm bisexual, and for the first time since taking this job I'm dating a woman.

If we never discussed my life I would probably have no reason to ever mention this, but she always asks me what I've been up to on my evenings and weekends, which is putting me in the position where I have to decide whether to tell her, "I went on a date" and then have to admit it was with a woman when she asks me about it, lie about what I did, or lie by omission by saying I was out with "a friend". I know my romantic life isn't necessarily any of her business, but I do like talking and sharing with her and I feel bad when I think about lying to her about this, especially since I know I'll be with this family for at least another six months. In that time, I could wind up seriously involved with the girl I'm seeing and lying would only get more difficult and complex.

My bosses are young and pretty liberal, but they're also somewhat religious so I don't really know how comfortable they might be with the idea of a queer woman watching their kids, especially after I've worked for them so long without them knowing this about me.
_________________________________________
Although very similar in nature, these Submissions were sent in by separate Posters. I felt the advice given by Readers would be helpful to both so I thought Publishing them together would be more beneficial. Thanks, MPP.
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opinion 2
Question B: I have recently accepted an au pair job in Europe - which I am super excited about! I have worked as a nanny for many families - but never as a live-in, and I am preparing myself for a very different experience. I have spoken with the family numerous times via skype and we seem to have similar philosophies, etc. My question is this: As a lesbian, do I have an obligation to tell the family before I move in with them for a year? I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I have worked with many families with different beliefs/values and the question of sexuality has never come up (nor would it need to) as it does not change my ability to take care of children. However, moving to Europe and living with a family for year, and presuming I may at some point in time want to date - presents me with a conundrum. Should I tell them prior to going in case they have a problem with it? Or should I not bring it up as it is not a big deal - and bringing it up would make it one? Thanks in advance for your help!


Mother Needs Help Guiding Abused Child

opinion 2 I have recently gotten custody of my 2 young children. I am there mom and my concern is mostly my daughter. Her father was emotionally and verbally abusive and now her whole personality has changed. She refuses to eat she keeps putting herself down and is very angry all of the time. She is 7 and her brother is 8 but she is struggling more than him. Her school work is suffering as well and I am at a loss as to how to help her.


Nanny’s First Job, a Cautionary Tale of Woe

nanny horror story Once upon a time, many many MANY moons ago, a young woman we’ll call, um…Deb, was going to school part time, baby sitting part time, and working at a major retailer part time. One day, she paused to take a breath, looked around, and said to herself, “Self, I think I am ready for a change. What can I do to make money and avoid going to school for a while?” After looking in the newspaper want ads, (I did say this happened a long time ago, right?), Deb wiped the ink from her hands and said, “I’ll be a nanny! That sounds like fun, and I like kids, so it’ll be great!”

After answering several ads, and interviewing with a few families, Deb decided that she wanted to work for a Doctor (D) and an Executive (E), caring for their 18-month-old little boy (T). She was sure the $275 per week salary would be plenty, especially since she would only be working 50 or so hours a week, caring for a little boy who was, according to his parents, easy to amuse. Deb reported to her first day of work full of sunshine and happiness, ready to adore her “charge” and learn all about her new employers from the nanny she was replacing, a sweet Chinese lady. Boy, did Deb learn a lot that first week! She learned that since T was “underweight” he always had to be entertained by a floor show when he was being fed. Singing, dancing, puppet wielding, full on floor show 3 meals a day and 2 snacks as well. She also learned that T got a bottle full of kiddie Ensure mixed with a cup of Hagen Daz vanilla ice cream when he refused to eat anything, which happened, oh, 5 times a day. And Deb learned that E. was pregnant and actually lived in another city, working for a semi-shady fellow who wanted to open a casino. And Deb learned that D not only prescribed antibiotics for his own kid at the drop of a hat, but that he also worked 12 – 24 hour shifts 5 days a week. No matter how Deb tried, she couldn’t make the math work out to her actually working 50 hours when D was at work 70 – 80 hours and E was in a different city.

However, T was cute, and he didn’t seem to actually need that mealtime show to eat once Deb stopped stuffing him with ice cream and Ensure. The fact that they couldn’t leave the property of the condo where Deb worked except to walk on a sidewalk-free road to a duck pond ½ mile away wasn’t so bad. Really, it wasn’t. At all.

Then, pregnant E came home about 6 weeks after Deb started, and cried sad tears about how she missed her baby, and Deb agreed to go and live with E and T in a “suite at a grand hotel” owned by (semi-shady) boss of E. Any guesses as to how grand that “suite” was? Here’s a hint. It was 3 connected rooms in a “hotel” on the level of a low-end Hyatt. So, after getting lectured for ordering room service on her first night in the “suite” after traveling all day with disengaged E and T to get to the completely new, and ever so slightly dangerous, city where Deb knew only her employer, Deb figured out how to find a grocery store, wrested occasional control of the rental car from E after promising she would deliver E to work at 7 am each morning that E didn’t need the car, and Deb set out to find fun things to do with T other than hang out at the low-end Hyatt all day.

Sadly, many playgrounds in the main area of town were “not for our kind of people”, and the days began to drag. Toddler was bored, so E put him in school. T and Deb went with E to see E’s offices, and Deb realized that E was trying (rather hilariously) to hide her very obvious pregnancy from her boss. And then Deb realized, after opening the door to the “living room” one weekend day, that E was a pig-like slob. Which meant that food left where it was dumped tended to bring ants into the “suite”. Deb also realized that if she was around at all on weekends, she would be told to work in the hellish pit of slop created by E because E was “tired and needed a break”. Luckily, there was a mall and a movie theater within walking distance of the low-end Hyatt, and the drivers who took tourists into the city proper always asked Deb Friday and Saturday nights if she was escaping the next day.

Eventually, D came into town so he and E could go house hunting. Of course, it was essential that Deb and T come house hunting too, because that was a terrific day long activity for a 20-month-old on a weekend. Then, it was decided that D, P, and T would go home for a long holiday weekend, and that Deb would be thrilled to NOT go home. After some soul searching, and some discussions with her parents, Deb decided she needed to find out when there would be a house to live in, whether D and E had actually been paying taxes, and, generally, how much longer her 50 hour work weeks would actually be 75 hour work weeks. When Deb asked E those questions, she was told that no house was going to be bought, because it “made more sense” to stay in the low-end Hyatt with a 22-month-old and a newborn, that of course no taxes were being paid, and that Deb should have known that her hours would get longer when baby arrived. So Deb gathered her courage around her like a cloak, and said the magic words, “I am going to give notice as of now, since this situation is not going to get any better.” In exchange for that statement, Deb got to work 2 weeks with E doing her best imitation of an icicle, a ticket home on a 5:30 am flight, and much huffing and puffing about “ungrateful people”.

Deb made her escape after 4 months of 70+ hour weeks, happy to have survived, and sure that she would go back to work in retail. Deb also got scary papers from the IRS a month later, and got to explain that D and E were a bit confused, since Deb was not the employer at all, and Deb was sad that D and E hadn’t been paying the taxes they had to pay. That was pretty fun, actually. Then, Deb discovered that there were actual Nanny Agencies, and that the Nanny Agencies placed nannies with families who understood the concept of a 50 hour work week, and paying taxes, and all sorts of stuff that made it much more fun to be a Nanny. And Deb found a job through a Nanny Agency, and stayed there for 4 years. And then she found another job, through another Nanny Agency, and stayed there 7 years. And so on, and so on…

Deb realized that life as a nanny was pretty terrific when one knew a little about how the nanny world worked, and she also realized that almost every nanny she met had a scary story about her First Nanny Job. And Deb lived (mainly, overall) happily ever after.
_______________________________________
Nanny Deb, aka Tales From the (Nanny)Hood
Professional Nanny and Postpartum Doula
Member of: CAPPA, INA, NANC, PNA, MAN
Blogging at: http://talesfromthenannyhood.blogspot.com/


a day in the life
By Nanny Kelly

6:10: wake up, make coffee, turn on the computer, read the news.
6:40: take a shower and get ready for the day.
7:20: grab breakfast for the bus and leave.
725: catch the bus and eat breakfast on the way.
8 AM: arrive at work, walk into the apartment area of the building and don't find J or her parents.
8:05: put dishes away and start new load in the dishwasher.
8:10: walk down to the factory area of their building and find J with her dad and other employees of his business eating breakfast, sit down with them and have a coffee.
8:30: walk with J back to the apartment area, clean up her breakfast plate, while she takes out coloring supplies.
9:30: we've finished coloring and are studying a world map, we talk about where we are (Europe) where I come from (USA) and where her family's cleaning lady comes from (Brazil)
9:45: clean up coloring supplies, head into the playroom to play Barbie.
10:45: set up a tea party in the playroom.
11:30: play barbie again.
12:00: take a puzzle out onto the patio.
12:45: I start making lunch for us and her dad.
1:20: we sit down to eat together and speak in a mixture of French and English, J finishes most of her plate, tells me how delicious it was and of course asks for a chocolate bunny leftover from Easter for dessert, we (her dad and I) both say yes.
2:00: pack J's snack box and we leave to catch the bus to the natural history museum.
2:30: arrive at the museum and talk about the animals we see.
3:45: sit down at the café for J's snack, I buy a "coca zero" for myself.
4:15: take the bus back to J's.
4:45: arrive home and say hello to her dad, he tells me he'll be up in 5 minutes.
4:50: J takes out coloring supplies again.
5:00: her dad walks in, sits down at the table with us to talk about the day and J gives him a princess coloring book to color in.
5:30: I finish my coloring and J's dad asks if J if she thinks its better if I stay all night, she says "oui!!", her dad tells her that sadly, I must go home.
5:35: I give J a kiss and say my goodbyes.
5:40: make the bus just in time.
6:20: arrive home and make dinner for my husband and I.

I work for an amazing family who really respects me. I feel very lucky.


Fair Reimbursement for Driving Expenses?

opinion 2 Hi, I have a question about reimbursement for driving. I recently asked my nanny to start driving our son to his weekly occupational therapy session. When she asked me to compensate her for the driving, I thought, of course, that makes sense. I get reimbursed for using my own car at work. So I offered to reimburse her $0.51/mile, which is the ongoing rate set by the IRS. She got really offended by what is translated to be $5/week increase (about 10 miles roundtrip). She said that her mother-in-law got a $60 compensation for having the responsibility to drive the kids around during the week. I just want to know what is fair. Because this wasn't part of the job description when we first interviewed her, does it mean we have to give her a salary increase to have to drive my son to one therapy session a week?


19 May, 2011

Tyson's Corner Shopping Center Play Space - McLean, VA

bad nanny sighting I was at the play space upstairs at the Tyson's Corner Center shopping center in VA today. Wednesday, May 19 at about 2:30.

I watched a (what I assumed were) brother and sister pair pummel each other, and later pummel other children. They punched, kicked and grabbed each other and looked around to figure out who they were there with. I eventually figured out that they were brought by a nanny. The woman, who seemed to be a Hispanic woman in her 30's (wearing a white, zip-front hoodie), spent the time on her cell phone. She wasn't even speaking to anyone - she was texting or reading. She was completely unresponsive to what her charges were doing.

The girl was about five years old and her younger brother was about three or four. I tried to stop the girl from pouring water all over the climbing structure. An unrelated four year old told her that the boy was being very mean.

I'm not talking about gentle wrestling, there was biting, scratching and full body tackles. It was horrible. Other moms came over to scream at the children. My sister and I took our children and left. It was horrible to watch.

Photobucket

How Should Nanny Approach MB About Pay?

opinion 2 My grandmother just passed away last night. The funeral is several hours away and I need to take 2 full days off of work. I know I am stupid for this, but I don't have a contract with my family. I was a brand new nanny when I started with them 2 years ago and I didn't know any better. I only work 3 days a week for them (30 hours) and I am paid my full weekly amount even if she only needs me for 20 hours or so. My question is, do you guys think I should expect to be paid for taking these two days off? MB is a doctor and really can't call out so I don't know what she is going to do. I don't think I've ever called out before in two years so I'm not sure if I will get my full pay or not.

I'm going to the funeral regardless, but I really can't afford to miss one week's payment. I am scheduled to work on Friday and I will be back to do so, so MB might just doc me two days pay. How would you guys handle this? Thanks!
___________________________________________________________
My apologies for not posting sooner, I did not realize this was time sensitive.


Nannies: Please Help this Mom

opinion 2 I found this blog while searching for possible answers to my 4 year old sons behaviors. I know this is coming from the opposite side but I would love some feedback from other nannies. This is the first time we have had a nanny in our home. We previously took our boys to an in home daycare. Our nanny started with us a few months ago (March). My four year old son seemed to like her at first. The past four weeks have been a different story. Our nanny only comes 2 days a week. On the days that she isn't here he is constantly asking if she is coming over. He gets excited when I reply "no" and sad/upset when I reply "yes". I've only received two answers from him when I ask about his anxieties. He tells me that he doesn't like her because she is a "bad guy". He just recently told me that she hit baby brother (20 months) and begged me not to tell her that he said anything! I'm not sure if this is something that he made up because he just doesn't like her or if it really happened. I'm worried about confronting our nanny in fear that it might make things worse (if there is a problem) or cause new issues between her and my son. I would love some advice!


ducduc Cribs Recalled

alert My wife and I enjoy reading your blog. We're expecting our first child and have gotten a lot of useful information from your blog.

We just came across this article concerning a crib recall:
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/recalls04/2011/ducduc-cribs-recalled.html

Needless to say we were shocked as we were actually considering purchasing a ducduc crib, and many of our friends have these cribs as well. We thought you would be interested in this recall and decided to share the article with you. Please let your readers know about this recall!

Enjoy the blog,
Ryan & Rachel


First Time Mommy

opinion 2 I nanny for a wonderful family in which mom is able to work from home. The baby is one year old. I have a question; moms office is across the hall from babys room. They are first time parents. When I try to put baby down for a nap mom comes in, gets baby all excited, and it is really hard for her to go. It is not everyday. I have told mom, maybe baby and mommy can have special time together after nap. Any other suggestions? All advice appreciated.


a day in the life
By Nanny JKD
I look after an 18mth old, 4yr old and 6yr old.

7:50- I start. 4 and 6yr old run down stairs to meet me. I prepare breakfast of muesli and milk, fruit and cup of juice (sippy cup of water for baby)
8- Parents bring 18mth old down and all 3 children have breakfast. Wave bye to parents as they leave.
8:15- 4 and 6 go up stairs to start getting dressed while I tidy kitchen.
8:20- Me and 18mth old head upstairs and i get her dressed alongside helping the other 2.
8:40- Downstairs, shoes and coats on, 18mth old in buggy. I throw a load of laundry in machine
8:45- Walk to school.
9- Drop 6 at school and 4 at pre-school.
9:15-11:15- Me and 18mth old go to mum and toddler group. We play with the toys and do craft while catch up with friends. She has snack of fruit and water.
11:15- Leave for school pick up.
11:30- Pick up 4 from pre school then walk home.
11:45- Home, shoes etc off, I prep lunch of sandwiches, tomatoes and cucumber/carrot sticks with cup of water and fruit for afterwards.
11:55- Lunch time.
12:20- Lunch finished. Take 18mth old upstairs, change nappy and into bed.
12:30-1:30- Me and 4yr old do craft, reading, playing with toys.
1:30-2:45- 4 watches t.v while i sort laundry, tidy up and grab lunch.
2:45- 4yr old gets ready to leave for school run, I go and wake 18mth old and get her ready.
3- Out the door for school run.
3:15- Pick up 6yr old then come back home.
3:30- Snacktime of fruit and water.
3:45- Do homework with 6yr old while 2 youngest play in the play room.
4:15- Homework is finished so we head out into the garden and play.
5- Children come in and play in the playroom while I prep dinner - lasagna with veg, cup of water and fruit mixed in natural yogurt for after.
5:30- Dinner time.
6- Children go and play while i tidy up and get the 18mth old milk ready.
6:15- 18mth old drinks milk while we all sit on sofa and read books.
6:30- Parents come home and I give run down of the day, give all the children a big kiss and cuddle and leave.


14 May, 2011

Dream Nanny or Childcare Nightmare?

reader sbmission I am a nanny who comments relatively often on this site. To many of the mothers I meet, whether I'm with or without my charges, I am a dream nanny.

I'm college educated with child development and classroom teaching experience. I've worked with ages from newborns up to middle school kids. I have years of nanny experience, some in long-term positions. I'm young and energetic and in good shape. I'm great at arts and crafts. I don't believe in television much, but I love to read and I believe that kids of all ages should be encouraged to spend at least half an hour outside in the sun, every day. My two current charges can't wait to see me in the mornings and get upset when I'm not with them on the weekends. I don't live in a highly competitive nanny area like New York, but I still have mothers try to "poach" me on a regular basis. I've been offered all kinds of money and benefits to change families, but I love the family that I'm with and I always politely decline other offers.

I'm also a sex worker.

A few years ago, I was nannying part-time for very little pay. I didn't want to leave the family, but I was struggling very badly. I was having to sell off my possessions to pay rent and could barely afford to eat one meal a day. For months I tried to find a job waitressing in the evenings or something like a coffee shop in the mornings, something I could do while still keeping my nanny position. No one would hire me. Out of desperation, I found an ad on Craigslist looking for "lingerie models", and I scored an interview.

The job wound up being what in stripper parlance is called a "jack shack", a rundown house where the girls do private strip shows and the show usually ends in a handjob. I'd never done anything similar - heck, I'd only ever had one boyfriend! - but I took it. I did it for months. I would go to my nanny job, then drive to the shack and work until 3 AM afterward. It was kind of empowering, and I made about $300 a night.

Unlike most of the girls I worked with there, I didn't get into drugs to cope, and I didn't become an alcoholic, but I did go down the slippery slope. I got addicted to the easy money. I started doing more "adult" services - nude housecleaning, fetish modeling, and finally, eventually, I just straight up had sex with someone for money.

Not long after that, I got my first full-time nanny position. I quit working at the jack shack. I started getting regular salary on the books, more money than I'd ever made before no matter what I did. I take my job very seriously, and on work nights I am always on my best behavior.

But sometimes, just a few times a year, I decide I need a little extra cash, and I pick up some unconventional work.

Of course if any of the families I'd worked for found out, I'd lose my job and I'd probably never be able to work in childcare again. The idea of someone looking after your kids who has gotten naked and had sex for money is a terrifying thought to most parents. It doesn't matter that she's clean and educated. It doesn't matter that she's great with the kids, that they love her, that she's the best nanny your family has ever had. The idea of a childcare worker who is or has been a sex worker gives people the shudders.

But I am damn good at what I do - all the things I do.


Natick, Ma - Natick Mall Playspace

bad nanny sighting 5
Natick, Ma
Natick Mall Playspace
5-12-10
10-1030am

I'm not one to say much but this I couldn't ignore. A busy day in the playspace with lots of children i noticed a German speaking young blonde nanny sitting on the bench on her iPhone for a solid 10-20 mins not looking up at all for a glance. The girls name was Johanna, just seemed odd to let such a young child go unattended.


a day in the life
By Nanny Laura
A Day in the Life (of working alongside a work-from-home parent)

6:45 AM: Arrive on time (like always) with a smile on my face and my lunch in my hand. Mom boss answers door and greets me superficially and then returns to her home office where she continues working on her computer. Says the child (1 1/2 yrs old) is in the family room eating breakfast and watching T.V. with her father.

6:47 AM: I enter family room and greet both the child and her father. Child is in the middle of breakfast and seems to be enjoying watching "Thomas the Tank Engine" on PBS. Father immediately leaves to shower and get ready for work.

6:50 AM: I put my lunch in the refrigerator, then sit down on the sofa and tell my charge "Good Morning" and try to start a kid-friendly conversation. She is in a good mood right now and I hope that she stays that way all day today.

7:00 AM: I go into the kitchen to get some milk and see a whole sinkful of last night's dishes in the sink. On the counter are about six dirty bottles I will need to wash/sterilize later on. I sigh as I wish I could get my chores done now just to get it "over with", yet since mom is close by in the home office, I know that I will have to wait for nap time. I drink my milk and peek inside the dishwasher quickly. Yep, full of clean dishes that need to be put away before the dirty ones go back in. Great! *sigh*

7:20 AM: Dad walks into family room in his boxers and I try to avert my eyes and concentrate on Thomas, Percy and James. Father looks for something, finds it then leaves.

7:30 AM: Dad kisses the child good-bye and waves to me as well, then leaves for work. The child tells me she is done eating and motions for me to get her out of her highchair. I wipe her face, hands and tray, then unstrap her and put her on the floor. I take the highchair tray, dish and cup to the kitchen and hand wash them both. Child is calling my name as Thomas just ended and she doesn't want to watch Pocoyo which follows. I sing a few songs as I clean up which makes her smile. Oops, I forgot to move the highchair back in the kitchen and clean up the floor....

7:45 AM: Mom walks in the kitchen and tells me, "Can you please turn off the T.V. set? I don't want "V" to be watching too much T.V." I comply but inside am wondering why the T.V. didn't bother her before when the Dad was there.

7:50-9:30 AM: "V" and I play in the living room. I read her stories (about 13 or 14), we listen to sing-along CD's and we horse around with some of her stuffed animal puppets. I try to perform a puppet show which she loves. Man, she is a doll. I love this kid!

9:35 AM: Mom walks in living room and inquires if we are going to the park and/or library today?? I understand her asking me to mean that she actually wants us to go to the park and library today. I tell her sure we will if she wants us to. She responds that it is entirely up to me, we are welcome to stay home too if that is what we want to do. I tell her we will go out and she says, "Great!" and cheerfully leaves.

9:40 AM: I make sure "V" is in a fresh diaper and put her hair in barrettes, dress her and put on sunscreen. Mother walks in and reminds me to pack up the diaper bag. I inquire where it is located and she tells me it is in the hall closet. I retrieve the bag and am disheartened to find out it is completely empty. Argh! I spend about 10 min. packing it up with snacks, a water cup, diapers/wipes, sunscreen, an extra change of clothes, sunglasses, hat and books/toys. I make a mental checklist in my head to ensure I didn't forget anything.

10:00 AM: Mom returns and tells us to have fun. She says she likes the outfit I chose for the day. "V" and I walk out the door and to my car where I strap her in the car seat and off we go... away from her crazy Mom!!

10:15- 11:00 AM: We play at the park where I push her in the baby swing (her favorite), make cakes in the sandbox and bounce on the "teeter-totter" (I haven't been on one of these since I was a child!)

11:15-12:00 PM: We arrive at the library just in time for story hour. A young male librarian reads a few stories and sings a few songs, but since he is young and a Male, he seems entirely out of his element. But he's easy on the eyes so I don't mind. After stories, I talk to some of the other mothers there while "V" plays with the blocks and puzzles. Then we leave.

12:20 PM: We arrive home and Mother greets us at the door. Asks us if we had fun and I say of course we did. Then she reminds me to go through the "motions" to get "V" to nap. She says, "Now remember to lay her on her back, on your lap and rock her and sing to her. Make sure she has her pacifier and favorite blanket and the curtains are closed." I comply. When my own children were younger, I would just lay them down in their cribs and close the door. Sure they would cry for about a second or so, but then they were out like a light. But hey that was 1992 and this is 2011 and hardly any parents let their children "cry it out" anymore.

12:45 PM: After much rocking, stroking, massaging and singing, child is sound asleep. I carry her upstairs and lay her in her crib, praying she doesn't wake up which would mean I would have to start the whole process again.

12:50 PM: I return downstairs and begin emptying out the dishwasher. I put away the clean dishes, and fill it up with the dirty ones after I carefully inspect them to be sure they are properly rinsed. I wash the bottles and set them in the sterilizer and turn it on. Then I open the refrigerator to grab my lunch just as Mom boss walks in....

1:15 PM: Mom boss begins to prepare her lunch as well. She cooks everything fresh and I have to admit, my ham sandwich looks pathetic in comparison. I finish up my sandwich, then dig into my hot Cheetos and boxed juice. Mom looks at my food and asks me why I don't eat organic food like they do. She tells me what I am eating is unhealthy and that I should eat better. I tell her organic food is more expensive (just my excuse) and she says it can be, but it is worth it. I am tempted to say, "Well if you paid me more than ten dollars an hour, then maybe I could afford to shop organic" but I keep my mouth shut. She then tells me her child has never been to a McDonalds in her life and never will. I nod as I reach for my twinkie.. Man, I love the creme filling inside. Mom looks at me disgusted and I joke that with my luck, I would eat healthy all day, then one evening I would probably walk outside to check the mail and get hit by a butter truck. Mom ignores my comment and reminds me that there are three laundry baskets that need folding before "V" awakes.

2:45 PM: I hear "V" crying via the baby monitor and hurry to get her. Thank goodness I managed to get all the laundry folded and put away before she awoke. I am starting to feel accomplished and relieved that my chores are over for that day.

2:55 PM: I take a freshly changed "V" downstairs and sit her in her high-chair while I prepare her lunch. I make her organic Mac & Cheese and cut up some veggies for her. Mom boss enters and says "Hello" to "V" and kisses her on the cheek. "V" is ecstatic at seeing her Mommy and shrieks with joy. Then Mom boss tells me I didn't cut the veggies in the correct shape that "V" prefers even though "V" is happily munching on them as we speak. I say nothing and simply nod my head. I then put the Mac & Cheese on a child plate and give it to "V." Mom boss tells me, "Please make sure the plate is on a placemat when you set it on the tray, I don't want any heat marks on the tray, okay?" WTF?? I quietly get a placemat and comply.

3:20 PM: "V" ate all her lunch... yeah! I tell her what a good girl she is, then offer her some fruit for dessert which she happily agrees to. Mom boss reminds me to wash the dishes before I leave and wipe "V's" face and hands as well. She tells me to rinse out her bib and lay it on the back of the highchair. I am due to get off in 25 min and while I love being around sweet little "V," her mother is a different story. Also, today is Friday and I get paid (!) so I am in a good mood.

4:00 PM: Mom comes into the living room where "V" is playing with her blocks and hands me my payment in cash. She explains they didn't have any smaller bills than 20's, so they overpaid me by ten dollars. She told me to remind her next Friday to just deduct that from my pay. I smile, say "Thank You, I will..." then tell "V" good-bye. It is so sad since I know this will probably be the last time I ever see her again. Why?? I can't take another day of working alongside a work-at-home parent and I am done. I will send an e-mail when I get home letting them know I won't be returning and my reason why. Mom boss is too controlling and I have no autonomy. They will simply shrug, place another ad on either CL or Care.com and I will be just a memory....


Nanny Trying to Make a Living Wage Getting Swindled

opinion 2 Hi, I want to pose a question to the forum: I'm sure you get a lot of questions about pay and rates.

Currently, I work as a part time nanny. When we first negotiated pay, they wanted to pay me less than my normal rate. In fact, less than the rate that I started at 4 years ago. We settled on what my last family way paying me, but they ask me to do a lot of deep cleaning chores: the whole family's laundry, cleaning the kitchen, scrubbing the gas grill, organizing the pantry/fridge, sweeping/mopping the floors, cleaning the fridge, some times vacuuming. They only ask me to get this done when the kids are having quiet time (homework time) 'if I have time' but it feels like it's kind of expected, and met with disappointment when it is not done. I feel as if I am spending less time playing with the kids and more time doing chores, but I do them and I am a hard worker. So that's obviously a problem, but it nan be worked around.

I make about $200/wk + gas reimbursement (when I am there, not the 30miles/day I drive to get there). This is NOT a liveable wage for me. I accept govt. assistance to buy food and have to put a lot of my expenses on CC. Finding another p/t job is out of the question as I am in school one day per week and they often need help randomly during a different time of the day than I am normally scheduled. You know how it goes... kids get sick, stuff happens, bla bla bla.

But I work around it because now that summer is approaching, they will obviously need more help. Summer is the time for us part time nannies to pay off bills, put away some savings etc. This was supposed to be my financial saving grace. They have been kind of wishy washy on the hours, and their vacation time. I assume they will not pay me for vacation time. They haven't really got it figured out on their end though. They have asked me to be in a nanny share for a few hours of the day half of the summer, and I agreed at a higher rate (more work for me, but it is really a deal for them). I have told them I expect to work at least 35hrs/wk at my normal rate. Now MB has approached me with the idea of working a set 40hrs/wk during the summer... but at a weekly rate that is less than my normal, already being stretched rate. I kind of expect to to be doing more housework, too. I told her that didn't seem standard (I've never worked summers that way, and neither have my other nanny friends) and I felt more comfortable working hourly. She said, "okay, but if we do it that way, it will be less hours, they will be more sporadic, she wasn't trying to gyp me and if I wanted to make money I might as well accept their offer of a weekly salary" - (hourly it calculates to be less than my normal rate).

Her argument is that nannies that work full time get paid less. Now they are offering twice my weekly rate, full time, maybe for two months (and most likely no work for me when they go on vacation). I don't know, maybe they think it is excessive and wonder why I need to get paid that much, but really I think it's only fair to pay a nanny regular rate full time during the summer if you want them to stick around 15hrs/wk for 10 months of the year. What do you guys think? Suggestions on how to negotiate this? Thanks in advance.


Getting Out of the House... When You're Allowed!

opinion 2 Yesterday while walking in the neighborhood where I nanny, I heard someone call out my name from the park I was passing by. It ended up being a nanny friend of mine who was off for the day but was hanging out with a nanny friend of hers who was at the park with her 2 charges. It got the 3 of us talking about our jobs and what we liked, etc.

I have realized through my past jobs and my current position that it makes a BIG difference when there is freedom in the position to take the kids out of the house and participate in various activities throughout the day/week. I nanny an infant currently, but we meet up for ‘play dates’ with other babies several times a week—mostly for myself in order to get out of the house! I LOVE planning activities and outings for older children---especially in a city with SO much to do and see.

With summer soon approaching, I would love to hear about some of the creative ideas for outings other nannies have come up with (along with the ages of the kids)!

I would also be interested to hear from anyone who has had positions when they couldn't leave the house with their charges and how they dealt with this and/or still made for enjoyable experiences for the children.


a day in the life
By Anonymous Nanny
A day as a Mothers Helper

2:30 Open the door and greated by morning nanny.
2:31-2:40 Talk to the morning nanny and discuss what went on earlier the day what time the children were put down for their rest etc.
2:40-2:50 Do dishes, sweep floor.
2:51-3:10 Walk to pick up child from school.
3:11-3:30 Talk to mom, figure out game plan for the day.
3:31-4:00 Child 2 is done with his rest give him a snack and turn on the tv.
4:00-4:30 Child 3 is done with rest give her a snack and allow her to watch TV.
4:30-7:00 Mom and daughter 1 go out for extra curricular activities.
4:30-5:00 Finish snacks, clean up, allow children to play by themselves.
5:01-5:15 Potty time and get socks and shoes on.
5:15-6:00 Play time in back yard.
6:01-6:15 Clean up kids, put their coats and shoes away.
6:16-7:00 Play time until mommy comes home.
7:01-7:30 Prepare dinner and eat (mom tells me she needs to run errands and she will be back at 9)
7:45-8:00 Clean off table and dishes.
8:01-8:45 Bath time for all 3 kids.
8:45-9:00 TV pull ups, potty and teen brushed.
9:00-9:10 Mom comes in apologizing for being late I say good night to all the kids.
9:10-9:30 Last minute clean up before I leave for the night.


12 May, 2011

Eureka Valley Recreational Center, in San Francisco, CA.

bad nanny sighting 5 This happens at Eureka Valley Recreational Center, in San Francisco, CA. It happens on a daily basis, so if a parent suspects it might be your children, come in and check it out in the afternoon, around 2pm-3pm.

There's a playroom inside the Recreational Center. It's called Tiny tot's room. This nanny takes care of two boys, ages around 2 y.o./3y.o. The nanny is Filipino. She wears glasses, polo shirt, Adidas pants. She sometimes carries a pouch. She's tall and big.

So, inside the Center, there's a hallway where you can park your stroller, it's right next to the playroom. Some kids fall asleep in the stroller. This nanny's kids sleep in the stroller. So far there's no problem, but she let them sleep in the stroller and goes to the playroom and just leaves the stroller unattended in the stroller parking. She checks from time to time to see if they are awake/still there. The issue here is that although there's always someone in the hallway sitting on the bench, you can't really tell which stroller belongs to who. So if some random person just shows up and takes a stroller away, nobody is going to stop (unless someone knows whose stroller it belongs to), because there's a lot of strollers parked over there, a lot of them are similar/same brand/style. I find it irresponsible and risky. I have seen many homeless/crazy people walking by that area, and since the place is open to the public, anyone can walk in.

I have also seen the same nanny leaving one of the children by himself inside the playroom while she stays with the other one outside. Whenever she's inside the room with the kids, they are always banging toys against the walls/doors, so she screams from across the room to them to stop. She's pretty loud and she talks in a mean way with them. I once asked her if the parents knew she leaves the children unattended while they sleep in the hallway and she said "yes". Yeah right! I bet the parents don't even know what she does. One of this nanny's friends' child once broke a toy and she said there was no problem, since the people who donate the toys, donate them halfway broken, so I guess in her mind, it's o.k. for a kid to finish destroying it, since it's not brand new, and it's not hers....

There's also another Filipino nanny who leaves a little girl, about 2 years old, named Olivia in the stroller most of the time, while she chats with her friends.

Now I bet you think I am a mom, right? Wrong! I am a nanny and I am appalled by the way this nanny treats the kids and how irresponsible she is. I never leave the children that I take care of out of my sight. I am far from being a perfect nanny, but I think this issue is basic, you NEVER leave children by themselves, no matter what.


Breaking Boundaries...

opinion 2 Hi! I would love some advice.. I am a nanny who takes care of the sweetest girls and I just love them. I have been taking care of them for about a year and a half. The family has been wonderful and I am very fortunate. They pay me above the going rate, on the books.. do a salary, holidays and vacation. The first year that I nannied, they were a dream.. however, I did not get a raise @ the 1 year mark.

In the meantime, I was on a state funded health plan that with all the budget cuts has been eliminated.. my medical coverage went from 36 a month to 435. I was very honest with the family and asked them for either a raise or some help with medical coverage. I was hoping for around 200 more a month total.. that's about half the insurance. I have looked for cheaper insurance but have not found a plan that offers any type of coverage that compares.

The mom said that she would talk to the husband and think it through, then a week later said she had not forgotten to get back to me, she still was thinking. This was in January. Also, I know the economy is not hurting them. Their company is expanding all over the place and they just opened a 2nd business. They drive fancy cars, have a million dollar home and a private jet.

In the meantime, I started paying the premium myself and also am working for a family on the weekends. This other family, family x is awful. A nanny nightmare. I took it because I felt like I just needed to make some extra money.. family x sees nannies as replaceable, treat them terribly and has 24 hour childcare.. the parents expect the nanny to walk their 2 dogs, prepare elaborate meals for the mom and dad, not the kids.. clean, do laundry, get them beverages, etc. I am always out hours late there and am so unhappy. Its also a 45 minute commute for me. I want to leave badly, but need the money. I do love their very sweet babies and dogs though so I try and make the best of it and at least do right by their children.

Also in the last few months with my first family that I had asked for insurance help, I really started trying to go above and beyond.. coming in early, staying late, doing extra house stuff.. and now feel like not only do I not have insurance I now have no boundaries and that these extra things are expected, not appreciated. They are always nice to me and I adore their kids.. I am just resentful that they never got back to me about the insurance and would like some suggestions on how to take back my boundaries. Any thoughts?


Braeswood Park, Houston, Texas

bad nanny sighting 5 I see nannies everyday at the park near Braeswood... they talk about their bosses horribly. They sit and read magazines all day and the kids are not watched at all. I told my friend anyone could reach over the fence and coax a child away as the nannies are busy. It is near the medical center in Houston... if u want proof of their behavior have someone go there around 1:00pm everyday to see.

They are all Hispanic and the park at Sunset in West Univ is where I quit going due to the way they speak of their employers in front of the kids. I have passed this info on to countless people and agencies in the area... they keep kids in strollers for hours while they congregate... they also order meals there. My fear is lack of liquids as the kids are there so long they run out... its too bad to talk about.


a day in the life
By Anonymous Nanny
A Day in the Life of a Live-In…..

7:00 – Get up and come downstairs to help MB get kids ready for school. Pull out iron and begin ironing clothes picked out the night before. Give to E & C a piece at a time while they are “warm” so they can put them on immediately. (you have no idea how many times I have ironed underwear, simply for the fact that they want them warmed up before putting them on)
7:15 – Throw toast or bagel in the toaster for E & C. Pour a bowl of cereal for youngest, G, with a glass of milk on the side (so it doesn’t get soggy). Finish breakfast for E & C, call them to let them know it’s ready.
7:24 – Let the dogs outside.
7:25 – E & C come downstairs and eat breakfast while I pull out their jackets and get their backpacks ready for them, making sure all homework is in there.
7:35 – MB comes downstairs, I give kisses to E & C as they head out the door with MB for school.
7:40 – Go upstairs with bowl of cereal and milk and wake G by snuggling into her ear with kisses and whispers. G wraps her arms around my neck as she slowly awakes from her slumber (this is, by far, my very favorite part of any day). She smells of delicious sleep and watermelon shampoo.
7:55 – G finally relents and we drag ourselves out of the bed. First stop, the potty. Her nighttime pull-up is still dry, wahoo!
8:00 – Pour milk in G’s cereal, she eats as I iron her clothes and help her put them on a piece at a time, do her hair and help her brush her teeth.
8:15 – G and I make our way downstairs and let the dogs in. G puts on her jacket and we talk about what she is going to do in school today while I feed the dogs.
8:30 – Out the door, we are on our way to school.
8:50 – Arrive at school, we go in, hugs and kisses, G runs off to play with her friends.
9:20 – Back home. Let the dogs back out. Tidy up kitchen from breakfast while eating my own breakfast. Pick up pajamas from the morning, make all beds (including MB’s) and tidy up the house as needed. Throw work-out clothes on in hopes of getting a quick 30 min jog on the treadmill today.
9:50 – Let dogs back in, start a load of laundry on my way to the treadmill.
10:00 – Hop on the treadmill with my ipod and a killer playlist.
10:15 – School calls, C forgot her _______, needs me to bring it to her right away. Oh well, at least I got half a jog.
10:30ish – Out the door with said forgotten item after a quick shower. Sippy cup, goldfish, and dry cleaning in hand. MB calls while I’m in the car. Add stop at store to pick up stuff for dinner and shoe repair store to pick up DB shoes to today’s list.
10:45 – C’s forgotten item dropped off, headed to finish remaining errands for the morning.
11:25 – Back at school to pick up G, dry cleaning dropped off, shoes in the back seat. Greet G on the playground and watch her do the monkey bars, 3 times. She’s so proud of herself as I cheer her on.
11:35 – Headed to the grocery store while G eats her goldfish and tells me about her day at school. She painted a picture and had storytime. We sing the ABC’s, and she remembers almost all of the letters.
11:45 – At the store. Pork chops, fresh green beans, corn, rice, salad and more milk. (we typically go to the store for dinner stuff every day, rather than shop in advance. MB prefers this, as the food is “fresher” this way, I don’t argue).
12:30 – Home again, groceries unloaded, dogs back outside. G watches her favorite TV show while I make her lunch and change the laundry.
12:45 – G eats lunch and we talk about random things like why cat’s have rough tongues while I get the afternoon bags ready. We talk about weather we want to go swimming at the club this afternoon , or go to the Zoo since it’s a nice day. We settle on the Zoo. Diaper/activity bag, check. Soccer bag for C, check. Chaps, boots, jeans and helmet for E, check. Let the dogs back in.
1:15 – Throw the bags in the car. The Zoo is only a couple blocks away, so we decide to take the stroller and walk. MB calls to remind me that she has a hair appointment after work, and that C needs to wash her hair tonight, then she talks to G about how her morning went at school. We have a great afternoon at the Zoo, the Lemurs are out today, and we got there in time to see the elephant show (which we’ve seen a hundred times). G falls asleep in the stroller on the way home, so I walk slow, and then let her continue to snooze while I swap the laundry again, and let the dogs back out for a quick potty.
3:25 – Off to pick up E from school. G is a little cranky about getting woken from her cat nap. Dora fruit snacks quickly fix that problem. C has soccer practice so we drop her bag off as we pick up E, headed to the riding ring for her lesson.
3:45 – E tacks up for her lesson, I remind G not to run through the barn, she might scare the horses. We settle in the viewing room to watch E’s lesson. E does great, as she always does, she’s a natural. I text a couple nanny friends to see if they want to plan a playdate this week while G builds a giant wall out of wooden blocks. I am not allowed to enter her new domain. I say please, but the answer is still no.
4:50 – E is done, horse is untacked, cleaned, and put away. Headed home, we pick up C from soccer on our way.
5:10 – Everyone at the kitchen island working on homework. Dogs back outside. I start making dinner while homework is being finished up. G helps me wash and spin the salad in the salad spinner and then asks for a wet rag to “clean” with. She proceeds to wipe the cupboards, the fridge, the fish tank (note to self: windex the fish tank later).
5:45 – Homework is done and checked, spelling words gone over, dogs back in, dinner is almost ready. E sets the table for me, G is still “cleaning” and decides to wipe the dogs down because they are “yucky”.
6:00 – DB is home, hugs and kisses, we all sit down to eat dinner. MB will be late tonight, I make her a plate of food for later. We quiz states and capitols over dinner, and end up telling fart jokes with DB, since MB is not around to disapprove of such talk. :o)
6:40 – All 3 kids head upstairs with DB for some special time with him while I clean up from dinner and start the dishwasher, windex the fish tank, unload the day’s activity bags, and feed the dogs. I grab the clean laundry on my way up the stairs.
7:00 – Put G in the tub while I sit with her and fold laundry. We decide to go to the pottery painting place tomorrow. C’s birthday is coming soon and she wants to make her a fish, or a frog, or a cat. Tough decision. MB comes home, G wants to get out and go see her. I wrap her in a towel, which is quickly discarded as she runs down the hall. I put the laundry away as I tell E & C to hop in the shower, reminding C to wash her hair tonight. C ignores me, she’s watching TV.
7:45 – E has picked out her clothes for tomorrow, and is nearly done in the shower. I tell C to go hop in the shower….again, I am ignored….again.
7:50 – Turn the TV off, and tell C she needs to hop in the shower NOW. She grumbles and scowls at me as she heads off to get in the shower. “Wash your hair” I remind her as she shuffles down the hall.
8:00 – Chat with MB about the day, and tell her about our plan to do pottery tomorrow. She is taking E to the dentist after school so I will only need to pick up C.
8:20 – Hugs and kisses for E, C, and G. They are ready to go to bed, I am ready to go back upstairs to my cave. It’s been a long day. I let the dogs out and remind DB to let them back in. I get a “Goodnight” and “Thank You” from both parents as I climb the stairs to the 3rd floor. I smile, knowing I will probably be asleep before the kids.


Southridge Recreation Center Pool, Highlands Ranch, Colorado

good nanny sighting
Thursday, April 21
Tuesday, April 26
Thursday, April 28
Southridge Recreation Center Pool, Highlands Ranch, Colorado. 4:00-5:30 p.m.

Nanny: Very young, looks to be about 21-23 years old. Shorter, dark reddish-brown hair, brown eyes. Slender, typically wearing black, with a pink flowered pool bag and small canvas purse. Her hair was in a ponytail every time I saw her.

Child: Boy (Caden), about six years old. Light brown hair, blue eyes. Blue and white swim trunks, blue rash guard, green goggles.

This nanny has an amazing relationship with her charge. From what I can tell, they come to the pool at 4:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Caden swims in the kiddy pool and the nanny stands or sits right by the pool. She usually has a book in her hands, but she never looks at it because she doesn't take her eyes off Caden! She laughs when he discovers how to make water spray on the water playground, and always claps when he shows her what a good swimmer he is. The nanny shows an obvious delight with her charge. At 4:30 they go into the fitness pool for swim lessons. She reads her book while he's in his lesson, but always watches when it's his turn to practice treading water.

After the lesson, they go back into the main pool area and he swims around some more. They always leave at 5:30, with the nanny wrapping him in a green towel and giving him a big hug. She always tells him how good he's getting at swimming. She definitely acts with authority and patience. What a great nanny!


09 May, 2011

How Parents are the Envy of Their Peers...

RANT Dear mb and db,
It must be wonderful to be the envy of your peers. To be known has super parents, to be prominent in your fields all the while raising three children. How do you do it? I know exactly how you do it. Me.

I work 11 hour days. I go against most of the contractual agreements we have to insure your happiness. I wake, feed, and bathe your kids while you sleep in. When and if you go to work on that day i keep your house spotless so that nobody can see children live here. I stay at your home all day with your kids and your parents since i am not allowed to leave the apartment and i am always on high alert because if you do come home the kids can not know and must be kept silent so we do not disturb you.

When i get up the nerve to ask you for a holiday that is not Christmas off you rub it in my face that you need rest and that you let me call in sick. I worked on my birthday, actually i worked late that day. You acted like it was completely wrong of me to expect to leave at a normal time much like how you act towards holidays. And on the nicest day in a long time i stay late with both of your parents.

So, the next time someone asks how you do it...

Love Nanny p


a day in the life
By Anonymous Nanny
I am a nanny for three children full time. They are ages 5, 3, and just turned 1.

7:28 - arrive at the house, knock on the door quietly, and greet the dad, who then sits down at his computer to finish watching a YouTube video. I take my book out and read a few pages.
7:32 - dad heads upstairs to get ready for work.
7:35 - mom brings T downstairs, along with his diaper and clothes for the day. She hands him to me and asks about my weekend. We chat about a few things, plans for the day, and she begins to get her breakfast ready. I begin toast for the baby and cut up a banana for him, sitting him in his high chair with a cup of milk.
7:45 - mom is done eating and heads upstairs to get L up and ready for the day. D wakes himself up, gets dressed and comes downstairs. He prefers cereal, so I pour him granola with milk and rinse grapes.
8:00 - L finally wanders downstairs, dressed and with her hair done. D is done eating and begins to play with his new favorite toy, an indoor mini golf kit. With L's toast toasting, I hand her a banana & milk and she sits down. I get T dressed for the day.
8:15 - Give L a gentle reminder to finish her breakfast, since her bus comes in less than half an hour and she tends to dawdle at the table. Dad leaves for work.
8:30 - Mom leaves for work, L finishes brushing her teeth, and I help T and D get their shoes and coats on.
8:37 - walk to bus stop, wave goodbye to L.
8:45 - back at the house, D brushes his teeth and goes potty while and I clean the kitchen from breakfast, gathering a couple diapers and a cup of water for T for our outing. T is rolling a ball and playing with his cars.
9:02 - I email Mom to let her know we're on our way out for a couple of hours.
9:20 - 11:10 - we stop by craft store, slowly perusing the aisles for fun crafts for the next few weeks. Afterwards, we go to the pet store to say hello to the puppies, fish, parrots, hamsters, etc. We also love to hit the local mall's play place, the library storytime, indoor rec centers, the zoo, and parks when it's nice out. We've had a lot of rain lately!
11:15 - arrive home and email to let mom know we're back. I help D get started on painting a wooden birdhouse, read T a book and put him down for a nap, and begin the family's dinner in the crockpot.
11:35 - while D is finishing his birdhouse, I quickly make a phone call before L comes home or the baby wakes up.
11:45 - At the exact moment I see L's bus, T begins to cry. Once she's inside and I've asked about her day, I change the baby while the older two kids play together.
12:10 - I've prepared lunch for all the kids - grilled cheese, celery w/ pb or broccoli, apple slices, cheese, milk -- some variation for the baby, who is now 12 months old. The kiddos begin to eat and I grab a hard boiled egg, which leads to a discussion about chickens and eggs, which ones we can eat, etc. Between helping clean up spills, grabbing new napkins, refilling plates, and chatting, I heat up my lunch and eat. By the time I sit down, L and D are finished eating.
12:45 - With L working on painting her birdhouse, D watching his intently hoping its dry, and T playing with a new colorful set of blocks, I begin to clean up and load the dishwasher, stopping to fix L's hair clips, wipe D's bottom, rescue T from behind a corner chair, get D some water, and comment on L's colorful painting.
1:09 - I start the dishwasher and call for the kids to get their shoes on. We are going to attempt a walk before the rain begins.
1:11 - when I stop to help D with his shoes, the baby walks the in the mudroom and comes back with one of my own. It's the first time he's done that!
1:15 - shoes on and we're out the door. I email mom to let her know we're walking around the neighborhood.
2:00 - we're back, right before the rain begins.
2:03 - I email mom to let her know we are back and escape to go to the bathroom while the kids drink their water and eat pepperoni for a quick snack.
2:06 - I come out of the bathroom to find that T dumped all the DVDs from a bookcase (his favorite thing to tear apart). I sit down and help him clean them up.
2:10 - DVDs cleaned up and both older kids occupied with random toys, I sit down and update the nanny log since I have a minute.
2:13 - L asks me to read her a chapter of a fairy book from the library. Once T sees L occupying my lap, he comes over, a bit jealous. After learning the book is boring and without pictures, he goes back to playing.
2:22 - The chapter is read, and D and L begin playing indoor mini golf. I finish the nanny log with T on my lap.
2:30 - I grab milk for the baby and escort everyone upstairs to read books. We all land in L's room and begin reading.
3:00 - rest time begins, everyone is in their respective rooms! I sit down to have a quick snack, watch a show on Netflix, or read a book.
4:00 - L's rest time is over, so she comes downstairs and helps me unload the dishwasher. T wakes up, gets a diaper change, and both kids sit down for a snack. D typically naps until his mom arrives home later in the afternoon.
4:20 - after snack time, L helps me do some picking up of toys around the house and I vacuum the living room. T is playing with a random assortment of his toys and every once in a while I rescue him from the stairs, where he tends to wander.
4:28 - L chooses to play Dominoes with me, so we begin a round. We've been playing on and off for months, halfway keeping score. After dominoes, we finish her fairy book, play with the baby who wandered over to say hello and play Memory.
5:10 - I do one last sweep of the house to make sure everything is cleaned up. I turn the crock pot from on to warm, since the food is done cooking.
5:15 - Mom is supposed to be home, but typically late. D begins to wake up and slowly wanders downstairs. L is playing with her dolls and T is hungry. I get him some peaches, a tortilla shell and milk to tide him over until dinner.
5:35 - Mom finally arrives home and I brief her on the day. I say goodbye to the kids. T clings to me and doesn't want to go to his mom, but I hand him over.
5:40 - I tell the kids I'll see them in the morning and head home!


Welcoming Baby Number Two to The Family

guest column
By Nanny Megan

Over the last year, I have created a strong bond with the 20 month old toddler boy that I nanny for. We spend almost 10 hours a day together, 4 days a week. I have such strong feelings for this little boy, and I don’t know what I would do without him. I have such a close relationship with the family, so I even spend some time with them on my days off. A makes me laugh constantly, he is constantly loving on me, and sometimes he even gets jealous when I pay attention to things other than him.

In February of this year, we found out that MB is expecting a baby come this October. The first thought that overcame me was pure excitement. I couldn’t wait for the little boy or girl to get here. The more I thought about it, the more questions began to fill my mind, and soon, I felt nervousness overcome me.

The first question I asked myself was, how am I going to handle two kids when I am used to just caring for one? A and I have a daily routine that we have established, and I see both of us getting stressed out when this changes. I think it is very important to introduce a schedule with children at a young age. It helps them with their nap and bed time routines, it ensures that they are well fed, and it also provides some structure and discipline.

The next questions was, how is A going to handle this? He already gets jealous when I pet one of the cats or dogs. He even gets jealous when I talk to or show affection to one of the kids from our playgroup. How is he going to handle it when my attention is constantly divided between the two of them.

The third question was, what is it going to be like changing twice the diapers? When the new baby is born, A will be 27 months. I know many kids are potty trained around this age, and I hope this is true when it comes to little A. I also know that there is a slim chance that he might not be fully potty trained by then, so that puts in a small fear of double the diapers. I consider myself a pro diaper changer, but will I still be pro when it comes to changing two kids.

After asking myself these questions, I quickly learned that I am more than ready for baby two to be here. Not only am I ready, but I am very excited. I can’t wait until he or she gets here and I get to develop a bond as the one that I share with A.


07 May, 2011

New House Rules!

check this out 2 Submissions for Bad Nanny Sightings are way down and I am told by many that part of the problem is because the OP's get bashed about every detail. I have always been against Censorship but have decided that in order to keep the integrity of this Blog intact, negative comments directed towards those that post Sightings will be deleted from now on. Questions and comments are more than welcome though. As for the other Articles, you may post freely.

Also, Monday will be the Deadline for sending in your DITL stories. I have almost a dozen left that still need to be Published but it will probably take a couple of weeks to get all of them posted. I do not want to clog the Blog or Publish them back-to-back so please send in your Submissions for CL-WTF, P&O and of course, Bad Nanny Sightings!


Carroll Park, Brooklyn NY

bad nanny sighting 5 Your nanny is an African American woman with very cropped, bleached hair. Your son is about 2 years old and has big blue eyes and dark blonde hair. On Thursday May 5th, he was there at about 6pm and sitting crying/sobbing on the ground. I thought he had lost his mother. No one came. He kept crying. No one came. I said to him "what's wrong?", but he seems too small to really speak and just kept crying. I looked around to see who was with him. It was not apparent. Eventually, he just stopped crying and wandered off. Later I saw your nanny with him. This wasn't a tragedy, but it was a sign that this happens all the time. He cries, she doesn't pay any attention at all.
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Questions and Comments are welcome but any negativity directed towards the OP will be deleted.