Our nanny has been working for us for just about a year. We have aone-year-old and a 3 1/2 year old, both boys. "Jane" absolutely adores our 1-year-old but by nature, isn't the bubbly, engaging type and has difficulty connecting with my older son. Jane tends to be conservative and very even-keel, laughs/smiles only minimally, but is overall a kind and dedicated professional. Our sons are always clean, fed, and rested.
The problem: Whenever Jane comes into our home, our 3-year-old decompensates, bursts into tears, and clings onto my leg. He says things like, "She's mean to me," "She doesn't like me," "She's mad at me." The trouble with this also is that he has said similar things about his friends when he has a hard time with them, so I tend to believe this is just how he expresses interpersonal struggles with others and it is not necessarily an accurate depiction of his experiences with Jane.
Jane deals with this son by basically ignoring him, even when I am in the home. I try and encourage her to engage him when he behaves this way but I have to also understand that she is a person too, and having someone greet one in this manner each day (2 days a week) can be a bit over the top and irritating. That being said, which one came first? The chicken or the egg?
I don't want to let Jane go and my son will be starting preschool in a few weeks, which means he will be gone about half the time she is working and a big chunk of the other time, he will be napping. I can't help, though, but wonder if my son's reactions indicate an incongruence between the nanny/charge fit and if so, considering our satisfaction with her in other arenas, is this an appropriate and viable reason to look for someone different? Thanks in advance, for
- Mom, pulled in 2 different directions