Welcoming Baby Number Two to The Family

guest column
By Nanny Megan

Over the last year, I have created a strong bond with the 20 month old toddler boy that I nanny for. We spend almost 10 hours a day together, 4 days a week. I have such strong feelings for this little boy, and I don’t know what I would do without him. I have such a close relationship with the family, so I even spend some time with them on my days off. A makes me laugh constantly, he is constantly loving on me, and sometimes he even gets jealous when I pay attention to things other than him.

In February of this year, we found out that MB is expecting a baby come this October. The first thought that overcame me was pure excitement. I couldn’t wait for the little boy or girl to get here. The more I thought about it, the more questions began to fill my mind, and soon, I felt nervousness overcome me.

The first question I asked myself was, how am I going to handle two kids when I am used to just caring for one? A and I have a daily routine that we have established, and I see both of us getting stressed out when this changes. I think it is very important to introduce a schedule with children at a young age. It helps them with their nap and bed time routines, it ensures that they are well fed, and it also provides some structure and discipline.

The next questions was, how is A going to handle this? He already gets jealous when I pet one of the cats or dogs. He even gets jealous when I talk to or show affection to one of the kids from our playgroup. How is he going to handle it when my attention is constantly divided between the two of them.

The third question was, what is it going to be like changing twice the diapers? When the new baby is born, A will be 27 months. I know many kids are potty trained around this age, and I hope this is true when it comes to little A. I also know that there is a slim chance that he might not be fully potty trained by then, so that puts in a small fear of double the diapers. I consider myself a pro diaper changer, but will I still be pro when it comes to changing two kids.

After asking myself these questions, I quickly learned that I am more than ready for baby two to be here. Not only am I ready, but I am very excited. I can’t wait until he or she gets here and I get to develop a bond as the one that I share with A.


TC said...

It will be hard, I've been there but things will get better.

I'd say the first 6 months look for things to be hard and hectic, after that yall will fall into a routine and it will get easier. I can't tell you how many times in those first 6-9 months that I was on the verge of quitting because things were pretty bad, though in my case it was more to do with the baby crying for 10 hours straight.

He will probably be jealous but let him help as much as he wants and can.

My charge was 3.5 when the baby came and she HATED him with a passion. I'd ask her to help me feed him and she would tell me no. I'd ask her to hand me a diaper and she would tell me no (usually I don't allow her to act that way but when it came to the baby my intention was to include her so if she didn't want to I didn't force her) I'd ask her to help me pick out an outfit and she said no. I asked every day and eventually she 'caved' and wanted to help a little. She picked out an outfit and she beamed all day because she picked out his outfit. Of course the outfit was too small and he looked like he was wearing highwaters but I let it go :) The baby is now almost 2 and we still have jealousy issues but you learn to pick your battles and know that they will both get it through it.

The diapers stuff isn't going to be that hard. At 27 months he can't have that many diapers a day, though you'll change a lot with the baby. There is nothing that really can be said about that. I would put off potty training till after the baby is here and you establish a routine because most kids take a step back when the baby is born. I'd encourage him to go now but don't expect him to be potty trained before his 3rd bday

NervousNanny said...

Just a tip on the potty training. If you (and the parents) want him potty trained before the new baby arrives, you should start the process months in advance. If he is not in the routine by the time baby 2 gets there, he's likely to relapse for the attention.

I'd suggest doing it in the summer. For some reason, I've always found it is much easier to potty train in the summer. For one thing, less clothes.

I also suggest that you talk with him a lot about the new baby, well in advance, and maybe even bring a baby doll with you as the date gets closer.

Sarah said...

It will be fun. Relax :) I nanny for 2 boys aged 2 and 1 and one due any day now and take my own 6 month old daughter to work so I have 3 in nappies and its really not bad at all. 2yr old boy is pretty much potty trained and it took all of 2 days. Can you get your charge a baby doll to look after? I also found it helpful to spend some time around other babies and point out that yes they do cry and need attention but little babies also spend a lot of time sleeping. I've helped to introduce lots of children to new siblings and none of them have ever had serious issues with them! What did help a lot was to have a special bag of toys that was only to be played with whilst I was busy with baby and allowing them to be as involved, or uninvolved as they wanted to be. And don't forget MB should have some maternity leave so you hopefully won't all of a sudden have 2 kids, it will be a gradual assumption of additional duties.

nanny K said...

I am in the same situation, although my charge is 3. :) I can't wait for baby to come!

CareAndKeeping said...

How much of a salary increase are you (all) expecting? I'm in a similar situation, and am curious.