28 August, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, August 28, 2010
Photobucket
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Seeking Live-in Nanny/Housekeeper (Las Vegas)
Seeking loving,caring responsible person to take care of our 2 daughters, twins approximately 40 hours per week . We are seeking someone with a positive and upbeat attitude, who loves children.
Requirements:
« no criminal history
« Non-smoker
« Must have references; must approve of a background check
« Very responsible; dependable, on-time
« Must have childcare experience/history
« Fluent in English

1) MUST HAVE PRIOR WORK EXPERIENCE WITH CHILDREN
2) MUST LOVE CHILDREN
3) MUST HAVE THE ABILITY TO MULTI-TASK
4) MUST BE ABLE TO KEEP SURROUNDINGS CLEAN AND ORGANIZED
5) MUST PROVIDE STRONG REFERENCE UPON REQUEST.
6} MUST HAVE A GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILL AND MUST BE OBIDIENT
URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/1921597650.html
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Special thanks to the following Readers for their Contribution: andreaantidormi, NC, Krupitzerb, afnt81, hijabiniqaabi, ladybugblessingscrafts, cheesenipsaregood and Cinder38. All of you did a great job... thanks for coming through! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. Don't forget to include the Links and the Body of the text, if possible!

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Call For Nanny Sightings

















Saturday, August 28, 2010
We need your nanny sightings, daycare warnings, nanny warnings and employer horror stories. Whatever you've got, send it on in. Things have been slow this week and our readers are starving for stories.

24 August, 2010

Thank you gift for worst employers ever?

Received Tuesday, August 24, 2010
perspective and opinion Looking for some advice on this...
I have been working for my current family for just shy of a year and they recently told me they have to let me go. Now over the past year I would have to say the parents and I have not created a "connection" like I did with my last two families. I felt like a member of their families. My current employers never really took the time to get to know me and the few times I tried to make "small talk" they didn't really reciprocate. The whole nanny thing seems to be very business like to them. Besides that, I am not very happy with how they let me go... They went back and forth about whether they were going to keep me (one week they were keeping me,the next week they weren't until finally they weren't). They are letting me go before my contract is up (only by a couple weeks) and they are giving me two weeks severance but they were so back and forth that I didn't really start looking for new jobs so now I am only left with three weeks to find something new.
In the state I live in, full time nanny jobs are pretty hard to come by... They say they are letting me go because one of the parents took a pay cut at work (which could be totally legit) but I feel like it is because they found a "housekeeper". I say "housekeeper" because this poor woman does EVERYTHING!!! She does ALL of the cleaning, ALL of the laundry, ALL of the cooking, cares for the kids in the very early morning and all evening after I leave. She is a live in so she literally works 14 hours a day, 7 days a week and she told me what she makes and it is a fraction of what they pay me for 50 hours a week. I LOVE their kids and will miss them terribly :( My question is, do I get the parents something to thank them for the past (almost) year of employment? Even though, they were honestly the worst employers I have EVER had? I am planning on getting the kids something of course but I am stuck about the parents. I would love to hear what any of you nannies have done in similar sitiations or just what you think I should do. Thanks!

22 August, 2010

Spanking as Discipline vs Sexual Deviancy

Received Sunday, August 22, 2010
perspective and opinion This is bothering me a whole lot. I don't read this blog nor have I ever heard of this What??? section. I am caught off guard by the nanny ad about requesting the nanny spank the twins. It just makes me sick and let me tell you why. I hope you will share it as my story and a warning to other nannies. If someone asks you to spank their children, don't do it. I got what I thought was a great job working for a woman who was big in the fashion magazine world and her physician husband. These were people that ran in a lot of circles and were accepted and valued people. So when they gave me advice contrary to what I thought, I didn't trust myself. Who am I? Some 22 year old from Nebraska with 9 community college credits.

One of the most troubling situations that occured there was that they said they incorporated spanking in their discipline and they weren't nuts about it, but did realize it worked. They explained that they go through phases, redirection, positive enforcement, time out and spanking. The parents explained that spanking was a last resort for a recurring problem. The parents also said, we want the discipline to be consistent, so while ideally we would handle all corporal discipline, you may be required from time to time and based on our fair rules to administer a spanking. The family explained the spankings were either one whack or three. Never more. I wasn't comfortable with that; or was I? Because I was more dazzled by the lifestyle I was getting in to and the perks of their job than this one off thing. So I accepted the job.

I got paid fabulously and everything went well. Then there came a time when I had to spank the 5 year old daughter. I spanked her with my bare hand over her underwear. She cried, ran away to her room and came out and hugged me and apologized after about 40 minutes. It didn't feel right, but now I understood why they said it worked. So about two months ago, I had to spank the three year old. One whack, over his underwear. Then about 6 days later, I had to do it again; again I pulled his pants down to get to his underwear and spanked him once with my hand. This time I noticed that his penis was erect. I felt dirty and filthy and weird about this. But I didn't tell the parent. I started grading the three year old on a curve so I wouldn't have to spank him ever again. I gave him more favorable reports than he deserved. This worked until two weeks ago when the father called me to tell me that the three year old had done something (I'm leaving out the details so as not to identify him) at preschool. The father basically said he wouldn't be home for four hours, so I should spank him three times and send him to his room until father got home. The boy was wearing jersey shorts over his underwear. I didn't pull the shorts down. I spanked him once, then twice. I noticed he immediately got an erection. I stopped and left the room quickly.

I was debating whether or not to quit the job. I decided to be honest with the parents and I asked to speak with them. They said they were very happy with me and complimented many things I had done. I told them quite honestly that I should have been honest in the interview but I didn't feel good about physical discipline and tried to adhere to their rules but (and I was careful not to say anything judgmental about why it was wrong) but I am not comfortable spanking a child. The mother said she could understand my feelings. She also explained that the reason they had authorized the spankings is so I wasn't powerless over the kids, since my discipline methods were limited and as such they were not quashing behavior but just setting times for which it could occur. This made sense. It was kind of true. I noticed this after they agreed I didn't need to consider that a part of my job. I noticed that the three year old in particular would do things he would never do in front of his parents and knew I couldn't do anything. Sending him to his room meant sending him to a toddler paradise. Big Wahooey. So things went by and I gave a lot of time outs and life goes on. Then Dad starts working out of the home for a special project. I knew it was temporary. I just didn't know how bad it would get. The three year old continued to test me, but now Dad was in earshot and he would call son in and spank him. This would not have made me uncomfortable at all - a parent spanking their kid - except I had observed the erection. So I was in the vicinity of the spankings three times and each time, I believe the boy had an erection. I can also say I believe because it was apparent.

So I guess what I am saying is that the anti spanking people say that spanking your kids will turn them in to sexual deviants and I always dismissed that as hooey. (I would never spank my own children). I just thought it fear mongering. But now after what I witnessed with this otherwise happy, well adapted three year old; I just don't think it could be normal that you spank a child and they get a reaction like that. I know that it is only a bodily reaction because he is three years old. But I just wanted to say to nannies, don't ever spank another person's kids. It's just too weird. And while I think you have your right to spank your kid so long as you don't leave a mark, don't do it. Don't let the goverment tell you that you can't do it, just don't do it because you come to understand it isn't the right thing to. Okay that is all from me. A nanny struggling with a form of discipline I have a real problem with but obviously not much of a problem if I am still collecting paychecks and leaving like I am.

Full-time to Part-time...

Received Sunday, August 22, 2010
perspective and opinion I have a question to ask all the nannies and employeers. I have never worked as a nanny part time before, however I have been a full time nanny for 9 years. I just was hired with a new family and we are working out all the details of the contract. At every other position I was paid 50 weeks/year regardless of whether I worked or not. I was wondering is this standard for part timers as well? I will be working a set schedule of 24 hours a week and making $14/hour plus overtime for any hours worked beyond 8 in a single day. I am not asking for vacation or sick time, but is it unreasonable of me to assume I should be paid 50 weeks/year even if I don't work them all, as I am only a part time employee?

21 August, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, August 21, 2010
Photobucket
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Nanny needed NOW (Las Vegas)
I need a nanny for my twin girls. They are 5 years old and not in school. They were in daycare but because of their behavior problems they got kicked out. I pay 400 a week, exactly what I was paying in day care. I do spank them and I ask the nanny do the same. e-mail me if interested edecker510@**** we are a few minutes from the strip.
URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/1908802638.html
_________________________________________________________________
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20 August, 2010

I thought I had made up my mind...

Received Friday, August 20, 2010
perspective and opinion Hi all. I thought I had made up my mind about what to do in this situation, but after reading some comments on other posts, I'm a little unsure now. Long story short, I'm thinking that my nanny might have an unhealthy attachment to my child. She just turned 2 years old, and has had a nanny for about 6 months (I was a SAHM before). About 2 months after the nanny started, our daughter had to have minor surgery and I took off 2 weeks from work to be at home with her (I gave the nanny 2 weeks paid leave). She called at least every other day (sometimes every day or twice a day) to check in on her, which I had mixed reactions about. On one hand I thought it was very sweet she cared about my daughter so much, on the other hand I was a little creeped out since it was very minor surgery and I had called her the day of the surgery to let her know everything went well and she was being discharged home. I let this all slide though and chalked it up to partly being partly jealous and sad that I'd returned to work as well as just inexperience with having a nanny. As time went by and I went back to work, I kept noticing little things my nanny would do that put me on alert. There were quite a few times where she wouldn't feed my daughter the dinner I'd made for her and informed me of all the things that were wrong with it etc etc etc. At times it felt like I was the nanny being instructed by the mother, or being told that my mothering was incorrect. My husband tried to tell me that I was just being too sensitive and since I'd had no other problems with the nanny I should just let it go. She also would call on the weekends if my daughter had a cold or other small sickness on Friday and a few times even showed up at the park where she knew we liked to go on Saturdays. A couple of weeks ago my daughter had a birthday party. It was on our nanny's day off, and I didn't think of inviting her because 1. I thought she would want her own time off, 2. I didn't want her to feel like she had to work on a day off and 3. I was feeling a little bit uneasy given all the other stuff that has happened. When the nanny found out she wasn't invited, she was visibly upset and was pretty hostile to me for a couple of days (barely talked to me when I was home etc etc). I've since decided that I should let her go because I don't think her behaviour is healthy. I'm wondering what you all think. Am I being too sensitive about this? I know I'm a new mom and leaving my baby was extremely hard and I know I'm a little jealous that the nanny gets to spend all that time with her, but I don't think I'm completely overreacting. I'd love some insight, as I'd hate to fire an otherwise great nanny for something that I might be acting silly about. Thank you so much!

19 August, 2010

Another Nanny Nightmare

Received Thursday, August 19, 2010
rant 1 A few years ago I worked as a nanny for a family with a newborn. I should have backed out before I took the job in the first place. The mother interviewed me and told me she would let me know either way in 3 days when she was finished interviewing all of the other prospective nannies. 2 weeks went by and I didn't hear from her so I assumed she chose someone else. It was no big deal though because I had other job prospects. Then one day I get a call from her. She wants me to start watching her son the next Monday, which is 3 days away. Although I was a little perturbed that she didn't call when she said she'd call I was still happy to get the job. Her child was adorable and I LOVE babies.

When she interviewed me we talked about what I charge. Since she said she would be only working half days on Fridays I gave her a break. I only charged her for 4.5 days. And what I charged was definitely on the low end!

Things went well for the first week. I watched her child and took care of him like he was my own child. She stopped in on her lunch breaks and called a couple times during the day. Then Friday came and she said she had to work the full day. I assumed she would pay me extra. I was wrong. That day she paid me in cash and it was only the amount we had talked about before. I was a little upset but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to cause trouble and I figured it was just once so why worry. Well over the next year it happened more times than I could count. I just got used to it and was too chicken to say anything.

There were times where she said she'd have to pay me on Monday instead of Friday too. And there were times when she was late on days other than Friday. She would show up an hour late and say its because she needed to stop at Walmart.

Later she let it slip that she didn't have to work all day on some Fridays. She was going home and cleaning her house or sleeping. It wouldn't have bothered me except I wasn't getting paid for the extra hours.

I suppose it was my fault because I wasn't speaking up. I grew to love her baby and I didn't want to lose him. It's hard when you become attached to the child you watch. It wasn't his fault that his mom didn't stick to what we discussed at the interview.

After a year of watching this child I had finally had enough of working for so little and having him well past the hours that had first been discussed. His mother being late all of those times had made me late for college several times and her not paying me on time had left me broke more times than I can count. I felt as if I was being taken advantage of and though I loved my charge so much I had to make the decision to put in my notice. My grades were suffering and I had to get my priorities straight. It was an extremely difficult decision and both the mother and I cried when she picked him up on his last day. I still got to see him once in a while, which was nice.

Over a year passed and by then she had another baby. She said she was having trouble with the new sitter. She asked if I would give it another chance and watch both her children. I was kind of hypnotized by the cuteness of the new baby and I had just missed her oldest child so much. So I agreed to watch them both. I don't know what I was thinking. The new baby was a preemie and had feeding problems. And the pay was half of the going rate for my area.

I watched the both the children with many of the same problems I had before. Only now their second child's medical problems added an extra element or worry. She was always sick. She was always coughing and had to be fed practically on the hour because of how little she drank at one sitting. It made me really upset to know that a lot of the baby's problems stemmed from the fact that the parents smoked in the house and in the car. She was always on at least one medication.

A few months after I started to watch the children the parents asked me if I would accept childcare network (assistance for parents that are low income) and I said I would until I found out they were committing fraud to get it. When they applied they said it was a single parent home even though both parents lived there and they both worked full time. So now they wanted to lie to the state and collect a type of welfare fraudulently so they could pay even less than they were already paying. It was an easy decision for me to tell them I wouldn't be involved.

So they found a new nanny that would accept the childcare network. I don't know if she knew they lied or not.

The children's last day came and went and I missed them. After all I spent a lot of time with them and really cared about them. The mother would send update e-mails about her kids every month and I was one of the people on the list to receive them. After 3 or 4 months I decided I didn't want to receive the e-mails anymore because it did hurt my feelings that she was willing to take them to another sitter just because I wouldn't commit welfare fraud. Every time I received an update e-mail I got sad again so I sent her an e-mail saying I didn't want to be updated anymore. She caught an attitude with me and was like "what's your problem?" I didn't tell her what I really thought because I wanted to take the high road.

To this day I think about those kids once in a while and wonder how they are doing. I had a lot of good times with those kids. I also had a lot of stress due to the parents not following what they had agreed to. My only advice in this one is make a contract. Don't watch someone's children unless they prepay you.

18 August, 2010

Hyatt Park on Grand Boulevard in Scarsdale, NY

Received Wednesday, August 18, 2010
nanny sighting Verbally abusive nanny sighting!
On August 18, 2010 in Scarsdale, NY at Hyatt Park on Grand Boulevard at approximately 5:15 p.m.: I am the mother of two young children and was deeply disturbed when I witnessed two nannies verbally abusing the two young girls in their care. The nannies were African-American with Caribbean accents. The girls were named Anna (approximately 4) and Tessa (approximately 2). Anna had brown hair, was wearing a yellow dress and no shoes. Tessa had short, very blond curly hair, was wearing a white t-shirt, dark pants and pink shoes.

Tessa's nanny was fair-skinned, with a white t-shirt and bermuda-length jean shorts. Anna's nanny was wearing a black tank top and light-colored bermuda-length shorts. The nannies were yelling at and berating the children because the younger girl, apparently mimicking the older one, had taken off her shirt. Tessa's nanny yelled at her for being a "follower" and gave her a "time-out" just for taking off her shirt. The nannies were sitting on the bench in Hyatt park in Scarsdale, NY. Tessa's nanny put her on the grass in front of her and pushed her back down when she tried to get up. The little girl was hysterical, crying and calling for her "Mommy". The nanny told her that it served her right for being a follower and this would teach her not to be a follower. Imagine, yelling at a child and treating her this way for taking off her shirt! When the time out was over--about 4-5 minutes later because I was watching them closely--the nanny was still mean to the little girl, and would not let her hold her or climb into her lap. "Get away from me, don't touch me!" she yelled at the little girl, who was still crying hysterically. The other nanny, meanwhile, was yelling at Anna, and telling her she should have "some pride"! She forced her onto the bench and gave her a time out and even when the time out was over and Anna tried to reach over and snuggle to her nanny, the nanny yelled at her, "Get away from me, Anna!"

There were two boys playing nearby in the park who were apparently under the care of these women, too. One of the boys was named Alex, and I didn't hear the name of the other one. They were about 6 or 7. The nannies occasionally yelled at them, too, but it was the little girls whom I witnessed being verbally abused.

It was a very disturbing sight, and I couldn't help but look at the children and the nannies with deep consternation. The women knew I was watching, which makes me wonder how much worse they are to these poor children when they are not in public. Then they started yelling at me and telling me to mind my own business. I told them I wouldn't, and that I would call the police. They laughed at me and told me to go ahead. Tessa's nanny swore at me and they both continued to yell at me. I proceeded to call the Scarsdale Police, who said they would dispatch a vehicle, but that it would take a while because all the vehicles were out attending to other duties. I am afraid that the women left before the police arrived, and I had to leave because I was with my two young children. It was a very disturbing incident even though there was no physical abuse because these nannies were downright mean and verbally abusive to these young children. It was painful to watch. We are all hurt when innocent young children are hurt. Please, if you are in the area and know whose children these might be, let the parents know to read this posting. I took pictures of the nannies and am willing to share them with the parents. I know how desperately I would want to know if my children were being mistreated this way. Thank you for your help.

17 August, 2010

Should Nanny have to Pay for Daycare?

Received Tuesday, August 17, 2010
perspective and opinion I am hoping you can post this ASAP, because I really need the advice!! I have to go to a funeral tomorrow, and it is within my normal working hours. I gave my boss 3 days notice, and I have 2 days of vacation time to use. I am supposed to take them to a drop-in daycare because the mother said she cannot take the time off of work. However, she said that the payment for the daycare would be my responsiblity. I do not think this is fair considering I have vacation/sick days, and this is what (in my mind) they are supposed to be used for. Thoughts? Thanks!

Nanny Doesn't Mince Words When Explaining her Job History

Received Tuesday, August 17, 2010
perspective and opinion Dear Fellow nannies, I have been a nanny since 1986, child care certifed and although I have read this blog there are some things pointing out to me that reminds me of some of my past jobs:

I worked for a woman on long island, nice lady, divorced one child, her boyfriends ex-girlfriend decided to make false accusations about me to cps. I did everything I was asked to do even for the child and more, I played with him, we went for walks, I took him to nursery school, his mother and I went out dancing when he visted his father, they treated me well. The pay sucked $125.00 a week and no raise but it was ok for a starter job. Anyways this ex-gf made accusations that were down and out lies, the mother was calling every parent to see if I was good to her child which was insulting because she knew I never do a thing to a child, so after two days of being treated like crap and hurt, I left the job. I explained to her "I can no longer work under conditions where I am falsly accused of things I didn't do" and she understood. A yr later all charges were dropped when cps found out it was all a lie and I found out from the mothers now ex-bf what had happened, he even stuck up for me and told her "do you honestly think she would do those things to your son, you making her feel bad and shes crying, thats so wrong, talk to her and ask her yourself don't call people in hearing distance and make it worse then it is" to say the least they broke up.

Hint, suggestion - when you work as a nanny try not to get to comfy with your employers.

Next job was a doosie, a divorcee 4 kids one being a baby, now granted this mother was a flipping nut case and she was a tramp to say the least, but her kids were my priority and the baby well he was a doll. I did everything for what $125.00 as well and more, no extra pay for OT, no respect at all. She treated her ex-husband like crap, he actually was a nice guy, well when she started cheating with my bf and went to florida with the baby and him and lied to me and I saw the pictures all heck broke loose. I left the job, called her a few things and a liar as well, and informed her ex-husband of what went down. She cranked called my house all through the nights and tried to lie to a doctor one of my family told the doctor just in case, well don't you
know the woman lied and the doctor called police on her and she and another friend who came up with thier idea {which I had on tape thanks to my answering machine} got arrested and the kids went to dad. Because of her and her games, I took the phone off the hook the night my aunt
died and I felt guilty about that along time.

Hint - see red flags before it's too late.

I went to an agency. I liked it because the woman who ran it found me two jobs. Omg, ok the first one great, awsome. The couple was really nice, had four kids, I did house work. I was called white wind by her husband, lol. I was treated very well, sometimes the woman give me things, they were just really nice nothing bad to say. The company the husband worked for was having problems, so he had to let me go. My pay every week was $250.00 and he even gave me extra pay when they let me go {showed respect to me}. I liked that job alot. {Recently they moved to
Fl and their son, who was my favorite, was killed by someone in 2007. I still think about that.}

Hint - when you have the dream job, being a nanny is worth it.

Second job, omg, I wish I had left sooner. The woman was a b word, her husband was ok but her son was a brat and her daughter was cute. I liked the job ok $250.00 every two weeks {huh} and although I did alot of cleaning, cooking etc, I was never compinsated for OT ever. I got sick
days when I had teeth removed or was sick with the flu, but then I went to Fl with them and whats my personal buisness should be just that. I dated someone there, I liked him not right away but in the future anyways when we got back not only did this woman call all her snotty friends and tell them my business but she just made me mad. She snooped through my things{she said her kid did} I doubt that and then said I was fired no severance pay nothing, ok, so I left, I didn't want to go to Fl anyway.

Hint - employers need to stay put of nannies business unless it has to do with the job, what you do on your time off is your business.

Then the job from hell. A single father with a daughter who was a witch and a older son who wasn't my problem. The father was an ass, a mean sob, who got into my business one too many times. His daughter was a handful, she wansn't allowed to watch tv all the time, fine, he wanted me to do things that hey I don't do like wax your floor dude. Anyways this guy was a jerk, he liked to shout and I won't take verbal abuse from anyone, so I left.

Hint - if an employer treats you meanly, verbally abuses you, stand up for yourself and leave, you are a human being, you deserve respect.

I had too many jobs to say I loved them all, I didn't, wishful thinking if you would love every job you ever had. Worked for a single dad going through a divorce. When a father allows a child to listen to rap music expect the youngest kid to repeat a word thats not so nice, and be accused and fried for it, it happened. The eldest kid liked rap music and one song was by salt n peppa ahhh me so h. Anyways the youngest kid said the H word and her brother heard it, the father was told by the eldest kid I taught her that meanwhile the kid was trying to get rid of me day one because of their mother leaving {ok I understand} but the father wasn't gonna listen to me, he wanted to talk I said no, you said all you had to say, you accused me falsly and that hurts "I said listen to the rap music your kids listen to", well I packed my things and left.

Hint - remember kids can be sneaky and mean.

The next job was a widower and while I felt bad for his two girls, he was outright stupid, I mean it. He kept the memeory of their mother out of their lives which hurt, he signed them up for drama, dancing, etc. These kids had no play time, no being a kid it was sick. I honestly think he did it to find a date for himself because it was selfish of him not to allow the kids to be kids. I understood when they cried they needed a hug, I understood they needed to feel loved, what I didn't understand was the temper tatrums one pulled. Example, twirling contest I had to sit through when their father should of been there, the kid wanted something I didn't have the money for. I had to call her father from the school to straiten her out. Example two, sledding, because she was too tired threw a massive fit in the street which almost made me get hit by a car no less, the neighbors were peeking at the doors thinking I was hurting the kid. When I got her home, forget about it all bets were off, I made her get into her pjs, lay on the couch and
not move till her father came home. Well when he found out he spanked her after I had already punished her, I grounded her from going outside for the weekend, which made me more mad. He acted like no big deal to me. It may of not been but he underminded me, then I suggested he take his girls to talk to their mother at the cemetary because they needed that, well at first he was reluctant. But the neighbor who was very nice told me he went through 4 nannies in a yr because of the way he treated them and the way his eldest daughter acted. I can't blame them at all, I was the longest, 5 months, all the rest were 2 months. She said "I'm surprised you haven't left yet." Then one day the eldest throws a fit about not wanting to go to school, the neighbor whose known them since babies came out and spanked one on the butt and told her "you will do as you are told and get to school, give {me} any more trouble she'll tell their dad." Well she did tell him what was going on, do you know he came back and said "don't talk to my neighbor" his
daughters weren't angels by far. I left the job, why? Because the man was so blinded by wanting a gf and went as far and hummmm doing his thing in the bathroom one night to relieve his aching, you know what he never flushed it, ick, to his constant verbal out breaks to his taking his kids sides when he knew they were wrong. When I heard their mother was laying there dying on the couch of cancer and both kids jumped around on the couch, it made me sick that he allowed that, then to go to a church pleading I need help which is how I got the job from friend, I was mad, the man was a phoney.

Hint - make your own list of questions and what you expect as well.

Last one, a doc and her idiot english husband who was a pig. Ok I took a job $300.00 a week from a doc who was ok, she treated me to lunch and things but her son was a handful, the baby was ok. I was sued badly, first had to go to early morning swimmming classes on a saturday, second had to sit so she could go home and sleep, with the baby in two at his t-ball practice, oh joy, then off saturday afternoon till sunday evening, during the week lite housekeeping, child care, to and from bus stop with the oldest and omg karate classes and making me sit in Friendlys with two kids for an hour while she and he took their classes, then to top it off she plans a last min trip to Fl, with extra friends. She had the big ones to volunteer me to baby sit not just her
two kids but five of her friends kids, no f-ing way, I was hired to care for hers and if she was gonna offer me huh, she better come up with a thousand dollars all together. Oh she said you'll get one night to do what you want, one night hey lady I want all my nights free, then her
brat says "when we get back my mom and dad are gonna fire you." For what? I did my job well, why because I want a day off? I was gonna ask her but got too mad at the florida thing to begin with then her husband who was english walked around in his draws with his private showing, I
had to ask her to have him cover up, I don't wanna see it, I forget in England their free over there, naked wise, however it was insulting. Then as you burped lets say the kid be saying don't say excuse me say parden me, who is a child to correct an adult? I left them a week before her Fl trip and game.

Hint - don't let a family take advantage of you, of your time, well being, don't let them walk all over you.

Now I have shared some of my jobs, I will say this, I have worked for so many yrs, my favorite are single dads. I have also worked for low income familes as well, I like being a nanny alot, I love kids but there are some things I won't tolerate either, being taken advantage of, verbally abused, cheated, lied about and most of all being treated with disrespect, if I treat you with kindess expect the same.

- Bay Shore, NY nanny, over 14 yrs.

MB not Exercising Common Courtesy

Received Tuesday, August 17, 2010
perspective and opinion I've been with my family for a while now and this predicament hasn't come up until now so I'm not sure how to handle it.

I nanny two children. The oldest had these blister looking bumps on her legs and stomach and mom took her to the doctor and that's the last I heard of it, I asked mom and she said the doctor said it was nothing but not to scratch it. This went on for about 4 months and the blisters got worse, burst and left horrible looking scabs that itched, bled and stung if you touched them.

Recently mom took the youngest in for a routine check up and she made an appointment for the oldest as well because she had cold that wasn't clearing up.

Mom brought the kids to me and told me the height and weight of the baby as well as mentioning that the doctor thinks both kids have allergies. She also mentioned what the doctor said we should do to wean the baby from a bottle, pacifiers and formula.

The next day I came in and there is a bunch of creams on the counter one had the oldest kid's name on it and the other had the youngest kids name as well as a small bottle of medicine for the oldest. I'd never heard of one of the creams or the liquid medicine so I picked up the papers that came with the medicine that lists what its prescribed for as well as precautions and such.

The liquid medicine as well as the cream is for impetigo. I researched it and found out it's a highly contagious skin infection. The other cream is for ringworm.

2 weeks later the oldest's blisters have almost completely cleared and spots on the baby's arm that I thought was part of his eczema has cleared up almost completely.

The mother still has not mentioned anything to me. I'm in close contact with the kids and because this is summer and I put sunscreen on the kids I feel that's something she should have mentioned to me. I wouldn't have recoiled in horror but to me its common courtesy to mention a highly contagious skin infection so that I could be cautious and try to avoid infecting myself.

Should I say anything to her and if so what? Do I have a right to be upset that she didn't tell me? I guess I should also mention she never told the mother's day out program the oldest attends either.

BTW I think I now have ringworm, I'm self treating at home but if it doesn't look like it's clearing up in a week I will go to the doctor.

14 August, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, August 14, 2010
june cl wtf 8
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) A mom who gets it! (Pennsylvania)
I am a SAHM with 3 children of my own. I understand what its like to have to leave your children to go to work, and I know the agony of feeling "raped" by childcare centers. I am opening my smoke free, pet free home to 2 to 3 children between 6am and 6pm. I will provide breakfast, lunch and two snacks, (formula and baby food excluded) and lots of activites to keep your little one busy. I have a daughter in 5th grade, a 3 year old son and a 5 month old baby. My son and I enjoy talking about letter sounds, numbers, shapes and colors. We'd love to have your little one join us! My rate is $90/ week and I can provide names and numbers of other moms I have worked for. If you are interested in interviewing me, please respond to this as so that we can set up a time to meet :) Thanks
URL: http://harrisburg.craigslist.org/kid/1896908464.html

* Response from angry CL readers:

2) RE: A mom who gets it?! (Pennsylvania)
If you were actually ever raped you wouldn't use the word so lightly. I found that highly offensive. Comparing being overcharged to being forcefully copulated is very insensitive and dramatic. I can't believe you said that.
URL: http://harrisburg.craigslist.org/kid/1896961410.html

3) RE: To "the mom who gets it" (Pennsylvania)
Obviously you don't get it. I think you are the first person to ever use the word rape in the childcare section. Couldn't you find a less offensive way of putting it? It is hard leaving your kid at a daycare center. Its expensive and sometimes seems more like a baby warehouse than a family environment. I think you are going to piss a lot of people off by comparing it to rape though. Not only that imagine a woman just gets over being raped and she's on here looking for childcare or offering childcare. Then she sees your ad using rape like its your everyday average verb. Don't you think she would be a little emotional that you are using that in a childcare ad? Its hard enough to not constantly obsess over it if you have been raped, but you shouldn't have to see the word in this section.
URL: http://harrisburg.craigslist.org/kid/1896971090.html

4) To those who were/are offended - OP (Pennsylvania)
First my appologies to any one I have offended by my use of the word "rape". It was not my intention to offend anyone, or to make light of such an incidence. I was simply trying to express the frustration that is felt by many parents when trying to afford child care. I have heard parents use this word in that context and have not been offended myself. However, I should have thought more carefully about my audience before I posted that. So, again I appologize.
Thank you to the woman who was kind enough to email me privately and ask me to remove the word from my post. I appreciate your respect, in light of what so many others found to be disrespectful.

Having said that, ladies, please lets not use CL for pointless and mindless banter. This board sometimes feels more like idle chat than people posting for childcare. Everyone who leaves a post can reached by email. I would have responded to each of you individually had you all emailed me privately rather than publically. We are all adults. And lets not pretend that any of you do not use choice words in your own personal lives. My ignorant choice of words does not make me a bad parent, or caregiver. I hope that this post will satisfy those of you who were offended and that this can be the end of this conversation.
URL: http://harrisburg.craigslist.org/kid/1897210111.html
________________________________________________________________
Special thanks to nirvanalives for our Feature Ad... there were so many good ones this week it was difficult to choose! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Contribution: MissDee, kell.malloy, NC, krupitzerb, wordgirl615, mbargielski, noenanny, michelle nelson, nannybee and CSNanny... all of you did an amazing job! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. Don't forget to include the Links and the Body of the text, if possible!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Uptown C train in Manhattan - NY

Received Saturday, August 14, 2010
nanny sighting
Nanny: very tall, thin, black, pretty, young, short short Jean skirt, tank top, floppy hat

Kids: boy 6-7 yo, black or mixed race and girl 4 yo black or mixed race. Well dressed. Boy in polo shirt and khakis, longer curled hair. Girl in dress with hair in ponytails. Girl in a large jogging stroller (3 wheels)

When/where: uptown C train in manhattan. 8/13/10, 5pm

Boy didn't follow some sort of instruction and was definitely seeking some attention. Nanny repeatedly pulled him by the arm then pulled his hair and flicked his forehead. Then yelled at him multiple times calling him a fucking asshole. When he began crying, she just yelled in his face ah ah ah stop it. Got off at the next stop.

I'm assuming the woman was a nanny and not the mother only bc of her age and the way she was dressed.

10 August, 2010

Unceremoniously Duped...

8-9-10
perspective and opinion I'd like to know what other nannies think of this, and what their own experience has been.

I nannied for a family for several years. Recently I gave notice that I was looking for another job but would continue working for them while they looked for my replacement (if they wanted me to), or if they preferred, I would leave immediately.

The parents and I always had a pleasant enough relationship, although never what I would call completely comfortable or free. I just never "clicked" with them (they tend to be reserved and self-absorbed), but we didn't have any conflicts or disagreements during my tenure. I loved the children and we were bonded, and the parents never had a single complaint about me, nor did anything ever go wrong in those years as far as the well-being of the children or the integrity of my work.

Anyway, the parents wanted me to stay on while they looked for my replacement, so I did. Things went just fine for several weeks while I job-searched, and they searched for a new nanny. I knew my days were numbered, but assumed I would know somewhat in advance when my last day would actually be so I could talk to the children and vice versa. (I did not initiate a discussion of my departure with the children because I felt that was the parents' call and I was uncertain of the exact timing.)

Finally, one night I received an email sent at 9:30 p.m., telling me that the next day would be my last. When I arrived at work the next morning, the children were visibly upset, such that I believe they were only told that morning, before I arrived, that it was my last day. At the end of the day I was given a generic gift (not something I want or need; I believe it was a re-gift), and no monetary bonus.

I want to know if I am taking this too personally because I feel rather marginalized and unceremoniously "dumped". Yes, I did initiate the job change. And no, the parents and I weren't particularly "close". But we were on consistently amicable terms; I saw the mother through a pregnancy, birth, maternity leave, in-law and relative visits, nursing struggles, incorporating a newborn into the household, returning to work, etc.... all stressful life-changes that bring extra challenges to a nanny as well as to the family.

I guess I didn't anticipate a complete lack of sentimentality or interest in the transition; aside from the children being understandably confused and upset at [what to them seemed like] my sudden departure, the occasion seemed completely devoid of significance to the parents.

I tend to think of myself as low-maintenance, but this just didn't sit right with me... so I thought I'd ask the other nannies here what they think, and what their "last day" experiences have been.

P.S. I absolutely love my new job, which is something completely different than nannying -- I'm glad I made the change, although I miss the children.

08 August, 2010

August 8, 2010

Police: Nanny busted for smoking pot with kids
A nanny, working in Westport, has been arrested for smoking marijuana with a minor in her care. Working on a complaint from the parents, an investigation revealed that Norwalk resident Lori Hughes, 40, provided and smoked marijuana with a juvenile under her care, according to police. According to court documents the incident occurred in September of 2009.

Babysitter Accused of Stabbing Nieces Remains Jailed
Baby-sitter nabbed in stabbing of two kids in their Westchester home
A woman baby-sitting two nieces at their Westchester County home - across the street from Martha Stewart - has been accused of stabbing the girls, cops said Sunday

Babysitter gets 6 months in jail for skipping 1995 court date
An Addison woman who went on the lam in 1995 to avoid being tried for aggravated battery to a three-month-old boy she was babysitting was sentenced today to six months in the DuPage County Jail and placed on three years of probation for violating her bail bond.

Molester Sentenced to 45 Years
A man who paid a babysitter to bring him a young boy to molest has been sentenced to 45 years to life in prison.

Case Adjourned After Babysitter is not Produced
A 14-year-old Whitesboro eighth-grader accused of beating a 2-year-old girl to death while babysitting her in Yorkville in June did not appear in court Friday after prosecutors failed to request his appearance.

Bizarre Nonsensical Article:
Your nanny: How much do you trust her?

Reccomended:

07 August, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, August 7, 2010
june cl wtf 3
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Looking for childcare near Barney's (New York)
I'll be doing some temp work over near Barney's and my normal babysitter isn't available during that week From AUG. 16 - AUG. 20, I'm looking for someone to watch my son during that week. I'm not sure of the hours yet, anywhere from 9 -9. Are there any moms or childcare providers in that area? My son is very precious to me and needless to say I'm very protective. I will KILL anyone who tried to harm my child!!! With that said... he's your typical adorable yet stubborn 2 year old. He loves to play in the park for hours at a time. He doesn't talk that much but he will tell you when he wants juice or to eat. He's not potty trained yet. You must have an open door policy because I will stop by unexpectedly to make sure he's ok. And let me know if you plan on going out to the park or anything like that. If your up for the challenge feel free to e-mail me with any questions and prices. Again I'm an overprotective mama and will hurt you if you hurt my child... seriously I'm not kidding
URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/kid/1884887358.html
________________________________________________________________
Special thanks to naylev for our Feature Ad... and to the following Readers for their Contribution this week: ktasker07, starcutie83, wordgirl615, goldman.arielle, nannybee, nirvanalives, hijabiniqaabi, krupitzerb, mbargielski, nannydebsays and cinder38... all of you did an awesome job! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. Don't forget to include the Links and the Body of the text, if possible!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

06 August, 2010

Abyssinian Tot Lot in NYC

Received Friday, August 6, 2010
nanny sighting Holy Pete! Your nanny backhanded your child on the back of his head twice for not listenning. Is this the punishment that you okayed? Your nanny is a british sounding nanny, about 25, wearing brown buckle sandals with cankles, green jean capris and a white t-shirt. Your child is a hyperactive little boy of about 3 named Dylan/Dillion. This happened this afternoon at the Abyssinian Tot Lot.

05 August, 2010

They Are Moving? Who knew? Not me!

Received Thursday, August 5, 2010
perspective and opinion I have been with my family over 5 years now. I think I have a pretty good relationship with the parents (more with the mother, who even tells me a lot of private things).

It has come to my attention through another employee of theirs that they have had an inspection on a new house. I also overheard the dad talking to the mom about the inspection reports and it sounded to me as if everything came out fine and they would be buying the house.

The house is about 45 minutes away from where they live right now and about 1 hour for me to commute to. They would probably want me to start working earlier because they would have a farther commute to work as well and they would probably want me to work later, given that they would have a longer drive back home. I already work close to 60 hours each week and that would add another 3 to 4 hours each day including my commute to work!

They have not mentioned anything to me and I find that a little odd. Shouldn’t they let me know that they are planning to move in the near future (especially because they are moving quite a bit away … still in the same county, but far south)?

I would like to know if and when they are moving, so I can figure out if I want to stay or find a new job!
How do I go about asking them (I don’t think they have any idea that I know about it) about the subject and about possibly changing work hours?

Lake Calhoun in Minneapolis, MN

Received Thursday, August 5, 2010
nanny sighting Physical description of caregiver: Thin woman probably in her late 20's or early 30's. Wearing "work out" clothes: Blue t-shirt, black yoga pants, navy blue visor, sunglasses, white tennis shoes, brown hair in a bun.

Physical description of involved child/children:
A boy and a girl (twins). The boy was blonde with a blue polo shirt and blue plaid shorts. He was wearing little "loafer" type shoes with no socks. The girl was also blonde with curly should length hair and a pink hair clip. She was wearing a pink "Tommy Hilfiger" polo with pink and orange plaid shorts. Her shoes were pink and purple and she was wearing socks. They looked to be around 2 years old.

Address or venue of observed incident: Lake Calhoun (East side), Minneapolis, MN

Date and time of incident: 8/4/2010 around 10am

Detailed description of what you witnessed: This woman spent HOURS obsessing over a "sick" seagull instead of watching her charges! I arrived at the park around 10am to meet a fellow nanny for a play-date. My nanny friend arrived at the park about a half an hour before us. She told me what was going on with the woman and the seagull. We heard the woman say that she had spent "hours" trying to get someone to come and get the sick bird. The woman was frantic on the phone trying to get ahold of someone. Now I am an animal lover but this was ridiculous. Her charges were not being watched what-so-ever. They could have been abducted several times in the time we were there. They both looked like they had been in the same diaper for HOURS. They were sagging down to the ground and the boy smelled like he had gone "number 2". The boy knocked my one year old charge off of a toy and then sat on her before I could pick her up!!! She saw this and said "There you are! Let the baby play too" When I offered my charges a snack the boy and girl swarmed around us and tried to grab our snacks. The girl snatched the sand toys that my charges and my nanny friends charge were playing with (they belonged to my nanny friend) and ran away. This whole time the nanny was trying to nurse a "sick" seagull back to health! I am sorry but that is not what you get paid to do!!! Watch your charges so they don't harass other children at the park! Take a time-out from the bird to change the kids diapers!!! Geeesh!!!

Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: Gray and Navy blue double stroller.

Same Old Question, Different Day... Help ISYN Readers!

Received Thursday, August 5, 2010
perspective and opinion I need some advice what I need to do. I am getting ready to start with a new family in about 3 weeks. I want to sit down with the parents before hand to square away the details but I am unsure what all I need to set up in the contract (I have never done a contract before and have learned that they are needed). Here is some information about the family: They have a 2 month old son and a 4 year old daughter. It is an unset schedule with 20 to 30 hours a week. It will be on the books $400 a week. The 4 year old will need rides to and from preschool. They want me to stay long term (preferably until the son enters preschool) and I am want the same.

My question is what all do I need to make sure that I cover with the parents? Also this is the first time they are doing taxes (their previous nanny was an undocumented woman from Mexico according to the parents) so what do they pay for and what do I pay for? Do I need to charge for mileage and gas since we will be using my car (I am not sure where her school is)? Also I have seen posts on this blog mention petty cash for everyday expenses. How do I bring this up with the parents and what is the normal amount used? I have also seen posting about bonuses. I have been a nanny for 4 families and while I have been told that I am an awesome nanny and I stay until the kids are in school, I have never received a raise or bonus. Should I be expecting such things on my anniversaries? Am I forgetting anything else? I want to make sure I do things right with this family so that I can stay with them for many years. Sorry for all the questions. Thank you in advance for any advice you give me.

03 August, 2010

Compensation for working Holy Grail of Nanny Holidays...

Received Tuesday, August 3, 2010
perspective and opinion I am a live in nanny for a family of 5: Mom, Dad, 5 yr old girl and boy/girl 2 yr old twins. I work about 60 hours a week, M-F. I have only been working for this family for a few months. That being said, they want to go to another state for Thanksgiving to visit family. I also have family in the same state. It will be the Monday before Thanksgiving until the Wednesday after. I know the weekend days I will receive vacation days in exchange for working. But, my question is: What do I ask for in return for working Thanksgiving and the day after? They are generally paid holiday days. If they weren't going away, I know I would have them off paid to spend with my family. How do I approach this? In my mind, I should get paid double for working those two days, or at minimum time and 1/2 or I should get those days off to spend with my family that lives in the area. Thanks so much for your input. (:

More Tax Trauma

Received Tuesday, August 3, 2010
perspective and opinion I have a question I'd like other nannies' opinions on. I'm looking for another job and really want to get paid on the books. Most families and nannies around here prefer cash. I'm wondering how it would work if I worked for cash and reported it anyway, like other nannies have said they do. For nannies who have done this, what I want to know is: 1) How did you declare it on your 1040? Just wrote in the amount on the "wages and salary" line without any supporting W2 or anything else? 2) What, if anything, did you do about paying into Medicare, Social Security, state disability and other things that normally come out of any employee's check? Did you figure out a way to do that or did you just pay federal and maybe state income tax and leave it at that? Also, please don't mention that I ask for a 1099. According to the IRS, FT nannies are employees, not independent contractors. Plus, there's no way I'm going to pay the extra self employment tax when my employer should be doing things right all along. Please help!

Thanks for the ISYN help,
Michelle

Serious Problem

Received Tuesday, August 3, 2010
perspective and opinion What agencies do I report to in the state of Texas that the nanny we hired left my children unattended and left the home completely??? This was my 2 year old twins and a newborn baby one month old. I don’t ever want to have this woman be around children again. Furthermore, she also robbed our home on the way out the door.

02 August, 2010

What the.....

Received Monday, August 2, 2010
perspective and opinion I need your help with this one. I have worked for a great family for two whole years. They're not like other families. They have a good amount of money, but work hard. Both are employed. They save a ton of money and support an entire school in another country. Good people. For the past year and a half I have become very close to both of them during just the stint of my employment. Mom works from home one day a week and Dad works from home two afternoons a week. This just is. I go on with my days and keep the kid's schedule as if they were working. Of course I have run ins with both of them. The kids and I will have lunch or breakfast with whoever is home. Because the mother is a multi tasker, when she is home, I can slip away to run a personal errand or take a quick run. I don't do that with the father home because he seems to need nanny care. Over the passed six months, the father I am employed for has lost about one hundred pounds. Because of this, he is a bit more outgoing and you can tell he just feels better. This evenning I got in around 7 as I usually do on a Sunday night and there was a note on my door saying that Mrs. wanted to meet with me. This isn't that unusual. So I put on my pajamas and with a smile on my face, went to find her. She knocked that smile right off my face. She basically interrogated me as to why I never leave when the father is home. She said she thought that was "odd". Then she tells me that all the warning signs are there that her husband is having an affair and that she thinks he lost the weight for the other woman or the woman he is interested in me. I point blank asked her, "are you saying you think he was interested in me?" and she just looked at me. Then she burst in to tears and started saying, "it doesn't help having another woman around to dote on him. You really know how to make him feel like a man". I shook my head at her and then she apologizes profusely, still crying. Then she tells me she doesn't even know where he is now and that last weekend I returned at eight and he returned at ten til eight or some variance of those close times. She said she doesn't want to think like that. Then she starts crying hysterically again. She is saying, "where is he, where is he? what kind of man doesn't answer his phone". I should stop here to say that she was drinking wine from a large wine glass during this conversation and I saw one empty bottle of wine on the table. I don't even know what I feel now. I'm sitting her shaking. In my opinion, her husband isn't the affair type at all. He is all about his family and her. How do I revisit this? What if she never says anything again? Do I let it go? Do I start leaving during the afternoons the husband works from home?

01 August, 2010

JJ Byrne Playground in Park Slope, NY

Received Sunday, August 1, 2010
nanny sighting This happened Saturday at about 1:30 PM EST.
I have to start by saying today was probably the most beautiful day of our summer, low humidity, blue skies, slightest breeze. The day was perfect. Many families and children were out celebrating this day by congregating at parks, tussling in the grass and picnicking.
I noticed an exception to this rule in the form of one nanny who had the charge of twins. The twins were in a side by side double stroller with beige canvas and black accents. The twins were a boy and a girl, I think, but may have been two boys. The twins had brown hair, one had curly hair and one had straight hair. The child with the curly hair had light colored eyes.
The nanny was a hispanic woman, possibly puerto rican. She is identifiable by these characteristics; she had several moles on her face, she was petite but very "thick" as they say and she was missing two teeth. I think two. Her teeth were what you would call "a mess".
The twins were about 2 years old. Maybe not quite, but near. And the nanny found a seat on a bench and parked the children right next to her. The nanny then takes out a People Magazine and reads it cover to cover. The children wiggle and squirm. I can hear one of the children say "Out" and "get out?" in a really sweet, hopeful voice. Nope. The nanny continues reading. And? She has a huge bag of jelly beans and she keeps feeding the kids. Handfuls of jellybeans. She was so fast and free with her big bag of jelly beans that when she blindly handed them to the children, they would drop in the stroller. It didn't matter, there were plenty and the entire time I was at the park with my child, your children sat strapped in being force fed straight sugar!