Verbally abusive nanny sighting!On August 18, 2010 in Scarsdale, NY at Hyatt Park on Grand Boulevard at approximately 5:15 p.m.: I am the mother of two young children and was deeply disturbed when I witnessed two nannies verbally abusing the two young girls in their care. The nannies were African-American with Caribbean accents. The girls were named Anna (approximately 4) and Tessa (approximately 2). Anna had brown hair, was wearing a yellow dress and no shoes. Tessa had short, very blond curly hair, was wearing a white t-shirt, dark pants and pink shoes.
Tessa's nanny was fair-skinned, with a white t-shirt and bermuda-length jean shorts. Anna's nanny was wearing a black tank top and light-colored bermuda-length shorts. The nannies were yelling at and berating the children because the younger girl, apparently mimicking the older one, had taken off her shirt. Tessa's nanny yelled at her for being a "follower" and gave her a "time-out" just for taking off her shirt. The nannies were sitting on the bench in Hyatt park in Scarsdale, NY. Tessa's nanny put her on the grass in front of her and pushed her back down when she tried to get up. The little girl was hysterical, crying and calling for her "Mommy". The nanny told her that it served her right for being a follower and this would teach her not to be a follower. Imagine, yelling at a child and treating her this way for taking off her shirt! When the time out was over--about 4-5 minutes later because I was watching them closely--the nanny was still mean to the little girl, and would not let her hold her or climb into her lap. "Get away from me, don't touch me!" she yelled at the little girl, who was still crying hysterically. The other nanny, meanwhile, was yelling at Anna, and telling her she should have "some pride"! She forced her onto the bench and gave her a time out and even when the time out was over and Anna tried to reach over and snuggle to her nanny, the nanny yelled at her, "Get away from me, Anna!"
There were two boys playing nearby in the park who were apparently under the care of these women, too. One of the boys was named Alex, and I didn't hear the name of the other one. They were about 6 or 7. The nannies occasionally yelled at them, too, but it was the little girls whom I witnessed being verbally abused.
It was a very disturbing sight, and I couldn't help but look at the children and the nannies with deep consternation. The women knew I was watching, which makes me wonder how much worse they are to these poor children when they are not in public. Then they started yelling at me and telling me to mind my own business. I told them I wouldn't, and that I would call the police. They laughed at me and told me to go ahead. Tessa's nanny swore at me and they both continued to yell at me. I proceeded to call the Scarsdale Police, who said they would dispatch a vehicle, but that it would take a while because all the vehicles were out attending to other duties. I am afraid that the women left before the police arrived, and I had to leave because I was with my two young children. It was a very disturbing incident even though there was no physical abuse because these nannies were downright mean and verbally abusive to these young children. It was painful to watch. We are all hurt when innocent young children are hurt. Please, if you are in the area and know whose children these might be, let the parents know to read this posting. I took pictures of the nannies and am willing to share them with the parents. I know how desperately I would want to know if my children were being mistreated this way. Thank you for your help.
17 comments:
Thank you for going above and beyond the call of duty to help these poor children, OP. Sometimes it is difficult to know the right thing to do as I have also been witness to children being abused.
I hate to cross hairs, and I don't want to start a big debate, because of course the attention should stay on the terrible and abusive treatment of these poor innocent children, BUT I cannot help but be a little irritated by one part of your description. Unless they were messing around like Dave Chappelle in Half Baked, ("If I wasn't Jamaican, why would ah wear dis hat?") I am sure the nannies were either African-American OR Carribean, but not both. "Lord-a-mercy!" Sorry, back to the point: These nannies s*ck and have got to GO.
Umm...my best friend is both African-American and Carribean. Why on Earth would you say someone couldn't be?? Most people these days have a cross between multiple ethnicities.
But, what a horrible thing to witness. I'm so glad you took the time to submit this, OP. Thanks!
Well she was in time out for being a follower not for taking off her shirt. If the girl was older it would have been a good lesson. But at that age she wouldn't really understand what that meant. Some people shouldn't be nannies.
African Americans and Carribean decent can look very much alike. They came from the same stock essentially. Now if someone was from the Carribean they of course could not be African American as that would describe their nationality not their ethnic background.
it is too bad that you left because you were not there to file a report: you wasted the police's valuable time. that is really all you accomplished.
I know I will get slammed for "attacking OP" but this seems to me another case of a nosy SAHM who should really be taking care of her own kids. Were these nannies bitchy? Probably. Were they abusive? It sure doesn't sound like it to me.
IMO, this is a "fail"
Wow -- I'm pretty shocked by the responses here. I think this was a great sighting, and a serious issue -- If I were the parent, I would certainly want to know about the nannies' reactions, which seems just mean (particularly telling the kids to go away when they are crying after the time out). Certainly, this seems more serious than a lot of the other things that get posted on this site. Why is everyone going after the OP?
I'm a Carribean amphibian.
Ever feel like you're in a high school cafeteria witnessing "the preps/cool kids" pick on the "outcasts" when frequenting "I saw your nanny"?
*Ding, Ding, Ding - we have a winner*! Any OP who posts on this site is automatically the "nerd" . . . get 'um girls!!
Some of you "ladies" (and I use that term loosely here, unfortunately) seem to solely post in order to say something rude. In particular, I'm referring to our latest; little Miss "fail" down here is really bringing me back to high school and might want to consider growing up just a wee bit prior to giving "adult" advice (and this is coming from someone in their Mid 20's)! I also have to say, if you don't find these nannies' behavior to be verbally abusive, or AT LEAST worthy of reprimanding, than I SHUDDER to think of how far a person would have to go to at least raise your eyebrows!
Hey, if we are going to get "catty" here; please don't procreate if you find it "normal" to belittle a TWO year old this way! We are not referring to a 8 or 9 year old child who has developed reasoning skills/logic etc (though I would never belittle ANY child this way regardless of age - way to build that self esteem mentor) we are referring to a human being who has only been on this earth for around 24 months . . . boy, that sure is a LONG time and I'm sure you had everything mastered at 24 MONTHS old! I hate to break it to you, but children originally learn via MIMICKING. That's right, mimicking. A sense of individuality and independence should not and does not develop until far later than 2 years of age!
I'm sorry, it's absolutely disgusting and deplorable to treat a baby or toddler this way, there is NO excuse for the way this little girl was treated.
OP, wonderful sighting. I hope both nannies get fired.
What disturbs me the most is that these nannies openly and publicly abuse these children. I can only imagine what they do behind closed doors.
I really wish more parents would conduct cori checks, references and of course pop in unannounced.
This is awful and these nannies should not be allowed near children! I hope the parents see this :(
On the other point, this is exactly why the term "African American" bugs the crap out of me when used to describe someone's physical appearance. Just because someone has dark brown skin coloring tells you NOTHING. It's more descriptive to say the nannies were "black". Sorry people but for all you know a person could be a freaking Dutch tourist of African OR Brazilian OR Carribean OR East Indies or West Indies descent or practically any other nationality/ancestry. Just because they are of a dark brown skin color does not mean they are "African American" and sorry if people find the term "black" to be racist but geez...
New Teacher on the Block:
I really don't understand where you are coming from. I never said it was "normal" or right to belittle a child. I clearly said that the nannies were most likely bitchy. But was it abusive behavior? I am entitled to my opinion. I merely disagreed with OP: I did not belittle her or bully her in any way.
What the hell are you talking about? Your post is all over the place. High School? Little Miss Fail? I really don't know what you mean.
I would never humiliate or verbally abuse a child. I was not there: this is a mere snapshot of an incident that we did not see.
I can only comment on what I read, and I don't read into it at all as you seem to do. I just stated my opinion that I don't think OP accomplished anything except dispatching a busy police officer to an empty scene.
What's your problem? We are all entitled to our opinion. Why would you get so upset over mine?
Fail you're a loser, that's my opinion. (= Umm, newteachers post wasn't hard to follow, I think she was simply making a point that grown adults shouldn't constantly attack each other like little teenagers or school children. I think she was also hoping you'd realize how awful this behavior was instead of just telling the OP she "failed" which is really rude, and in my opinion useless 'advice'.
My second opinion is that Newteacher on the block and most of the others are right, this is abuse. Sightings like this are exactly what this site was made for, thanks OP.
To be fair, the OP did fail. She called the cops and then she didn't stick around. That's what "fail" was talking about. OP said she took pics of these nannies, she could have shown this to the police and she could have given them a detailed description. I don't know how much good it would have done, but it would have been better than the police showing up to no one being there, which is likely what happened. I agree these nannies were verbally abusive and they need to be held accountable for their actions. Heck, maybe next time if OP catches them again, she can take some video or audio of them shouting--but if she can't be bothered to give the evidence to the cops, what's the point?
Yes, and I'm sure showing pictures would have made all the difference. I'm sure the police would have scoured the entire City hunting for some random anonymous woman (all based on blurry cell phone photos)! Without a name (or contact info.) or the woman (that was doing the abuse) remaining present photos would have done absolutely nothing. I could show the police random photos of a random woman all I want that doesn't mean they are going to be able to identify her.
listen i was in the park and yes she was older and yes the baby sitter told her she should'nt be a copy,but you didnt mention that the child had took her her clothing pior to that and she was ask to put it back on which it was a struggle to get it on and then she did it again,thats the sitter then place her on a time out letting her know she was wrong and that she was a girl and she needed to take pride in herself and not shwing her body to the public.and thats when u noticed whats was going on where u were told to mind your business,and my question is when you were busy watching and taking picture for almost a hour who was watching your kids smh.
Thank you,anon observer for adding your comment and clarifying that!!!! It's funny after reading the complaint from the mother my first reaction was "humm is she blowing this up because the nanny asked her to mind her own business?" There are a bunch of elitist Scarsdale mothers that would not take to kindly to being told that.Especially from a "nanny". I too am a Scarsdale mom with 3 young children so I feel I know what I am talking about..... I was not at the park to witness this incident but I do know who Alex and Tessa are. For the record Alex is no more then 4yrs old not 6-7 like the mother stated. I have seen their nanny many times over the years. ( I believe there is an older girl too) While she is not the most energetic person, I have certainly never seen her be "abusive" to the children.
What this mother seem to forget is that when a nanny works for a family they become another parent. Teaching the children right from wrong, keeping them safe AND DISCIPLINING the children becomes the job of the nanny just as it is the job of the parents. Had the nanny not put Tessa in a time out after repeativly taking off her clothes, people would have complained (rightfully so) what a bad and lazy nanny she was. Telling a child that it is wrong to copy bad behavior is not wrong nor is it abusive.Also, most toddlers and children will cry for their Mommy when they are put in a time out or reprimanded by someone other then their mothers.Be it a Grandparent, Father or favorite person. This is normal behavior for children. For the mother writing this complaint to not understand that, makes me question her ability to parent. It also makes me wonder if there was something more personal going with her and how much she is blowing this out of propotion because she was asked to mind her own business. Again,thank you anonymous observer for sheding some light on this matter.
I am the Scarsdale mom of three that commented earlier. After writing my response I spoke to my husband about this incident and he made some very good points that I would like to share. First off, the park is Davis NOT Hyatt. Second: The mother that wrote the complaint stated that she called the Scarsdale Police and was told by the police that " they would dispatch a vehicle, but that it would take a while because all the vehicles were out attending to other duties. I am afraid that the women left before the police arrived, and I had to leave because I was with my two young children" As my husband who has lived in Scarsdale his entire life pointed out, had the police felt this was truly a serious situation and a serious complaint they would have dispatched a car immediately. But since it took so long for a car to arrive, (if it even had) that the complaintant herself could not wait leaves me to wonder how serious it really was. If I myself witnessed child abuse, be it physical or verbal and I felt it was serious enough to call the police I know I would certainly wait for them to arrive.
The word abuse is being misused and exaggerated. And blogs and websites like these are contributing to this. While they can be very, very useful and helpful they are often used as misplaced venting grounds for peoples own personal issues. Not being a warm and loving nanny is not something I would want for my children, but it is also a far cry from "abuse". Just as putting an ill-behaved child in a time out and calling her a follower is not abuse.
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