Tuesday

Should Nanny have to Pay for Daycare?

Received Tuesday, August 17, 2010
perspective and opinion I am hoping you can post this ASAP, because I really need the advice!! I have to go to a funeral tomorrow, and it is within my normal working hours. I gave my boss 3 days notice, and I have 2 days of vacation time to use. I am supposed to take them to a drop-in daycare because the mother said she cannot take the time off of work. However, she said that the payment for the daycare would be my responsiblity. I do not think this is fair considering I have vacation/sick days, and this is what (in my mind) they are supposed to be used for. Thoughts? Thanks!

35 comments:

Boston nanny said...

Of course not. What is wrong with parents. You have sick days and vacation time so tell her your taking one of those and if she has a problem with it then maybe she should put the kids in daycare full time. Don't let this woman take advantage of you. I know jobs are hard to find but it doesn't sound like this one is that good to begin with.

bippityboppityboo said...

Thats ridiculous! They aren't your kids! She is out of her mind. I would be furious if I were you. Good luck straightening things out.

nanny2 said...

You have paid time off available to you. Let her know you are using it, and that she will need to pay for the daycare.

Sorry for your loss.

KNanny said...

Wow! Please do NOT pay for the time at daycare! It is so wrong, I don't even feel the need to explain my stance! Hold your ground!

And, sorry for your loss. My family made me miss a funeral (for a family friend) because the mom had to go shopping all morning I guess?

nycnanny said...

Wow, what a horrible, cheap boss you have. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this! This is absolutely not your problem and I would tell her just that. I think its time to start looking for a new job with parents that are caring and don't try to take advantage. Good luck!

CanadianMom said...

Holy smokes. I would never expect my nanny to take a vacation day to go to a funeral and I certainly would not expect her to pay for emergency childcare! If you can help get them to daycare that's nice, but I would not do anything more ... except maybe look for a job with a better employer ;)

what nerve some people have said...

you work for jerks. of course the answer is NO this is NOT the norm!

cali mom said...

Unbelievable. Inform her that you will be using one of your 2 vacation days to attend the funeral, and will not be available that day. She can bring the kids to the daycare herself and pay, or stay home with them. Her choice.

Of COURSE you should not have to pay for the daycare.

TC said...

Wow I think I've heard it all.

I had to attend a funeral out of town and missed 2 days of work. My boss was super nice about it and paid me my full salary and was not upset in the least that I had to attend a funeral.

I will say to my advantage I had a months notice thanks to a lazy no good aunt who wanted to wait a month to bury her father for spring break so she and her kids could enjoy a vacation on dear old gramps.

You absolutely should not pay for daycare, that's one of the cons of having a nanny...what will you do if nanny can't come for some reason and she should already have a contingency plan in place and it should NEVER include YOU paying for daycare.

Dear Abby said...

OP first and foremost I want to give you my condolences for your loss..something your boss probably will not give, sadly. :(
Anyway, about the issue at hand, if you have 2 vacation days left, then you are entitled to them...w/no stipulation about having the added expense of having to pay out of your pocket for daycare. This is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard of. PLEASE tell me you didn't say yes to this!! The fact that you have to attend a funeral should not have to make you use your vacation time anyway, but if you do have to use them how is it a "vacation" when you have add'l expenses to be paid? Enough said. I know the economy is tough now and that jobs are far and few between, but seriously the fact that your employer is even asking you to pay for their daycare shows the type of person she is and that she is not someone you want to work w/at all. You should give your notice ASAP and walk away. For her to be so insensitive to your loss is beyond words to me and I would not be able to be in the same room as her, much less work for her...EVER!
That said, she is cheap, uncaring and does not appreciate you or your loss.
Good Luck.

Are you kidding! said...

That is just plain crap!!! You set up a vacation/sick day time line then you should be able to use it without having to pay a price (i.e. guilt trip, bad attitude and money out of your pocket!!) Funny I bet if they had to go to a funeral and it cut into your personal time they would have zero problem asking you to stay late! These people are crazy!

I would simply and calmly say, "I would be happy to drop off the children, however we negotiated vacation/sick days when I started so I plan on just using those days. So me having to pay for the day care will not be needed." If she your boss still acts like an ass, which she will then quit. It is HER responsiblity as a PARENT to find and fund proper day care in situations when you or the parents cannot be there. It is not your problem they cannot use common sense and manners! If it where me, I would quit...sounds like they can be very unreasonable and selfish.

iObserver said...

I may be in the midst of a job search out of financial need for more hours, but to my boss's credit if I had to go to a funeral because of a lost family member, she'd likely go with me. Not everyone can be like her, but they sure ad heck can be better than yours! I'd send out feelers in your area for a new job if I were you.

Meme said...

The parents are being very unreasonable. Not like you wanted the day off at the last minute to go to an amusement park (then I could see her asking you to pay). I would remind her you have sick days and that you do not intend to pay.

MissMannah said...

This woman is nuts. Find a new job.

lovesthegirls said...

This was tried on me once too. It's a big fat sack of hell no! Do not do it. DO NOT! Talk to the dad, maybe?

Lisah said...

Absolutely NOT! I've never heard of such a thing. Don't let this woman take advantage of you!

Just Wow said...

As everyone else has already stated this is just all sorts of wrong. Your boss is trying to take advantage of you (pretty low considering you're already going through a hard time in your life) obviously, she needs a little lesson in both empathy and caring. Don't allow yourself to be pawned into this disgusting little scheme of hers. If she wants to play dumb and act like she doesn't understand what a sick day is for explain it to her nice and slow, but under no circumstance should you EVER pay HER children's childcare costs.

I'm absolutely appalled that she even thought she could get away with this. Please stand up for yourself.

xfileluv said...

Do not pay for the daycare. If the mom/dad do not want to pay for the daycare, then one of THEM will have to take one of their sick/vacation days from work and stay home with the kids. That's life.

anonynanny said...

This is basically the equivalent of her saying "Yes, it just means you won't be paid for today and also you won't be paid for the day before even though you are working." Which is BULL. Get the hell out, this mother thinks she can take advantage of you.

just another mommy said...

OP, obviously I agree with everyone else. Do Not Pay! Come back and let us know what happened...

Brandie said...

Your boss is a peice of work! Not only do you have to deal with your loss, but you have the added stress of having to pay for daycare?! No way. That is highly unprofessional for her to ask you to do that. You gave as much notice as you could. See if there are other family members or friends that could watch the children for the day. If her children where in daycare and the daycare had to close because of unpredicted events she would have to find back up daycare. Also I belive there are laws regarding leave of absense from work for funerals, you should look into it.
Good luck

Psyber Chica said...

If your boss were to take vacation and a temp was hired to do her job in her absence, would she pay the temp or would her company pay the temp? DUH!

Is she going to allow you to take your paid vacation or sick days for this? Please update!

link it! said...

OP: after you quit, which you should, you should link your boss to this post so that she can see all of the responses. That may be the only way to hit home the fact that she is insane.

lovesthegirls said...

OP-- what state do you live in??? I am sure any number of us is happy to look up your FMLA laws...

Former Nanny said...

Wow, I don't think I've ever seen such unity in the comments!

My condolences to you on your loss. I agree too: no way, no how should you be paying for the cost of covering emergency care for her children! That is absolutely outrageous. What if you were to call in sick? Would she try to make you pay for that extra coverage too? Crazy woman.

Good luck in your job hunt. ;)

OP said...

OP here:

Wow. Thanks guys! I really expected to get at least one rude comment in there somewhere!! I mentioned it to the father, and he said of course I wouldn't have to pay and didn't know what his wife was talking about. So he gave me his credit card. I am sure this will create problems later, but for now it's okay. I cannot quit right now, but I really appreciate everyones comments!! MPP, is there anyway you would be able to delete this posting? I would truly hate for my boss to find this and then I'll get canned before I find another job. If you could, I would really appreciate it. Thanks again everyone!! :)

Miserly Bastard said...

The parents seem unreasonable.

CuriousDad said...

1: You are not responsible for paying anything. Sounds like she is pissed off at you.

2: Vacation days are generally arranged ahead of time, anywhere from 3 days to at least a week. Depending on the nature of the job. In your case you went the minimium of what is normally considered fair in most jobs. However not all jobs can cover a person easily within a weeks notice. I am sure childcare is one of them.

Not knowing how much advance notice you had for the funeral, before letting the boss know. You gave them fair notice. If you knew more then 3 days in advance, then I would say you did not give them "fair" notice.

I know finding childcare at the last minute can be hard. But unless it is in a contract that you HAVE to give them X amount of notice before taking days off. You are in the right. However, you MAY not have a job when you come back. You HAVE pissed off that boss. You do not owe the cheapskate anything.

Note as I do not have any info on the following about the poster this is a general ramble about certain issues that come to mind rather than a pointed argument against the OP.

As a Boss myself, something comes to mind here.

How often does an employee have a "reason" to need off days at the last minute? (Last minute defined as being less then a week ahead of time) Did I find out that "Insert reason for needing the time off here" was known about for a greater then a 3 day time period? How often has the employee been less then forthright about WHY they want time off?

As a Boss, if I feel I am being taken advantage of. I will feel a bit "pissy" towards an employee. And that employee can be sure I will not be in their corner when things actually DO come up. Though granted THAT particular stunt I would not pull.

CuriousDad said...

Dang it some how cut off the last line of my post:

Adding in:

Glad the Dad stuck up for what was right. Mom was probably just pissed off and after cooling off maybe she will be slightly better. But I would think you still might want to look somewhere else for a job. As she WILL remember that the Dad stuck up for you. Some people are just that mean.

the mad nanny said...

my boss berrated me for needing the day after my grandfather died off. and then on top of it, she made me take it unpaid. heard of grievence days?

needless to say, i quit six monthes later. and now they have an awful nanny. karmas a bitch right?

alex said...

Definitely not your responsibility. If you are using one of your days that you have allocated to you the parents should be responsible for their time at daycare. Please do not pay for it!

A said...

@ pay it, just go away

leave. said...

to Pay It:

right: just like you SAHMs will do anything to get out of having to work? oh wait: you don't work. my mistake.

lovesthegirls said...

Oh pay it.... did your nanny, by chance, ask for a few vacation days off to go to a FUNERAL, and you asked her to pay for daycare, and then she posted on ISYN where you were torn apart for being a selfish bitch. Then you were further embarrassed by having your nanny come back on the site and update that your sane and incrediably saint worthy (for staying married to such a selfish bitch) husband said your nanny would not have to pay. That is such a funny story, Pay it. I HATE YOU.

neva_eva_always said...

Sounds like when my best friends fiancee was killed. I worked full time and had monday and tuesdays off but my nephews baptism the same week of the funeral and on my days off I watched my nephew though grandma would take a day here and there. Well of course I couldn't miss the funeral or the baptism but grandma refused to watch him two days and he was 8 months old. Usually when they're 2 is when she stops taking care of the grandkids. I got to the point I told my sister well he's coming with me because I had to work the day she watched him to make up for the baptism day. My sister knew I could get around by bus with no problem but my mom took the day off so I wouldn't be traveling all over with him dressed for a funeral. Remembering this I seriously wonder what her kids think of her. It wasn't immediate family but she was my family as we've known each other since grade school and I knew him well. Work knew about it because I went to work in shock or I would've claimed it was family for grievence leave/pay lol.