CL-WTF?

Saturday, January 30, 2010

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Nanny to accompany us to Maui (Seattle)
We have a seat on Alaska Airlines and resort accommodations for our ten day stay in Maui (Kihei & Kaanapali) from February 8-18, 2010. You would only need to pay for airfare ($400), food, and any trip incidentals & activities for yourself. Just so you know this isn't a scam, you can wait until we all check-in for our flight before paying us for the airfare. In that event we would only ask that you have cash. Our original nanny had to back out, so we are posting this ad with the hope someone is interested in exchanging a ten day stay in Maui in a 4 star resort for occasional nanny/daycare services while we're in Maui. The nanny will be traveling with us for our 7 month old son. We are a family of four, but want to enjoy spending more time with our 14 year old daughter, who will appreciate Maui more than our 7 month old son. You will not have to watch him constantly, but you should expect that you will be watching him mostly during the day time, with a few evenings throughout the trip. Our son is a pretty happy baby, with no health concerns. He weighs about 21 pounds, and has the usual needs of a 7 month old. If you have ANY criminal convictions please do not bother responding to this ad.
We have the following additional requirements of all applicants:
1) Female
2) Non-smoker
3) No major health concerns or physical limitations
4) Possess a current first aid and CPR for infants certification
5) Possess a current State of Washington ID or driver license
Please have your current certifications / licenses in hand if invited to meet with us in person. We look forward to hearing from any serious inquiries.
Original URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/kid/1572153758.html

* Response from CL reader:

2) Re: Nanny to accompany us to Maui (Seattle)
Are you kidding? The nanny has to pay for their own airfair, and for extras? You are only paying for the hotel? Sounds like you want free labor so you can galavant all over and not have to pay attention to your child! If you don't want to be bothered why not just have your current nanny keep him home? Of course, THEN you would have to actually pay her. Pathetic that you want someone to pay for the privilege of taking care of your child.
Original URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/kid/1572690331.html
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Special thanks to Seattle for our Feature Ad... great find! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Contributions: mgogerty83, Cinder38, afnt81, Kate in PA and NJNanny... all of you did an awesome job! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Wilmette, Illinois (Chicago suburb)

Date of incident: Jan 29 2010
Location: Wilmette, Illinois (Chicago suburb)
Nanny: Young, caucasian, straight blonde hair, silver nose stud, driving a small-ish sedan (Mazda?) tan or grey
Children: 2 Caucasian girls, older one had a pink fleece North Face hat and the younger one had a green (?) North Face parka
What happened: This occurred in the parking lot of my children's school. I was getting my kids out of the car while nanny was getting older girl out of her car. Then she walked away into the school with the older girl, leaving the younger girl alone in the car with the car running. By the time my kids & I were entering the school she was on her way out again, but she was probably gone for at least 5 minutes with this little girl unattended in a running car at the farthest end of the parking lot away from the school (and closest to a major road). I know it's freezing out today and it's a pain to get 2 kids in and out of the car, but still...if this was my child I'd want to know.

Columbus Circle - NY

Received Thursday, January 28, 2010
Filipina nanny with 2 year-old boy in a gray stroller. Boy could hardly breathe - gasping, fell limp - and nanny hit him to wake him up.

Another Overworked, Underpaid Nanny Bites the Dust

Received Thursday, January 28, 2010
Hi, I'm posting today because of a complicated situation (it takes some explanation, please bear with me through this part). I'm a 23 year old recent college graduate, with previous nanny experience and excellent references. Currently I'm a live in nanny for a 15 month old boy. The husband lives in a different city and the mother works ~70 hour weeks, meaning that I match her hours. I get one day off each weekend, and sometimes not even that. When I first started the job in September, I was told that I would get ample extended vacation to compensate for the longer hours, and that in-laws would assist me from time to time. I was also told to vocalize any concerns I may have, since they understood a happy nanny to be a better nanny, a philosophy I wholeheartedly agree with.

I've been with the family for five months now. I can honestly say that I take great care of the child, and that, while I like my employers as people, they have not held up their end of the bargain in several matters: they are chronically late in payments, I have rarely had outside help, including when I've been sick and still babysitting for 30 hours straight. The house is without internet or cable, which wouldn't be a huge deal if it weren't for the fact that I don't have time to go to internet cafes to check my email, most of the time. I've talked to them about it, and they have brushed it aside. This part is slightly embarrasing to admit, but I will say it anyway so you can get a better picture and hopefully help me: I'm being paid 1000 a month, which I now understand is far below what most NYC nannies get paid, even for live-in.

So, this weekend some good friends from home are flying in, and I was planning on spending time with them on my day off. On Tuesday my employer asked me if I could babysit from Friday morning to Monday morning, so she could go out of town on business. I replied that I had made plans to see my friends. My employer seemed miffed, and I was told, in the future, to 'let them know further in advance' because they (her husband and her) are 'banking on me being there.'

Before this incident I was planning on talking to them about hiring a second nanny/payraise, but now I'm confused about everything. I really love the child, but don't know how to negotiate what I feel is fair and what, based off what I just told you, what they would be willing to give me. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of--not only that, but I truly am drained by the long hours, so 'extended vacation time' is not helpful when I'm tired now. It's partially my fault for not setting up clearer boundaries earlier on--(this is not the first time that they have expected me to babysit on my day off, with no extra pay). So I have two questions: what should I ask for, and how should I ask for it? Thanks, Ms. Confused

Nanny Warning - Rhoda

Received Thursday, January 27, 2010 - Rants and Warnings
Rhoda is 31 years old from Jamaica (Montego Bay) originally.

She is a gypsy nanny, one that sails in and out of jobs asking for repeated advances in pay. She has been in the US for 10 years but has little to show for it.

She is a user and a manipulator. She needs to be stopped. During the 3 months she worked for me, she requested pay advances a number of times. Although, i did not want to give her an advance in pay --largely because I did not completely trust that she would return to work the next day, she had a meltdown in my home and then resigned by text message that night at 10 pm after she was given the pay advance. She is deeply disturbed and has some serious emotional deep rooted problems. I suspect she may have a problem with alcohol or drugs although I have no proof. No family should have to put up with her and her crap. Moreover she is a pathological liar, one cannot know where the lies end and the truth starts. There simply is no truth coming out of her mouth. I believe she is attracted to families of multiples and likes to work in Manhattan on the upper east or west sides.

NYC - Courtyard of the St. Jean's Community Center at 76th and 3rd

When: jan 26, around midday
Where: nyc, in the courtyard leaving the st. jean's community center at 76th & 3rd
Who: nanny: AA, black jacket, black hat.
Child: adorable boy, maybe 2 or 3, brown hair, beautiful blue eyes, named Conner or something like that (heard another nanny say good-bye to him as she left)
Incident: Nanny had forgotten something inside and just walked inside and left the child outside by himself to go get it. I was there, but I'm a complete stranger and I was walking away. Another person in the courtyard who was going into the center looked at me, as if to say how could you leave that child, until she saw the nanny come back outside. The little boy was alone for only a few seconds, but I wouldn't want my nanny to leave my baby alone in public at all. What if I was some crazy person? She could have very easily rolled the child back in to get whatever she forgot. Even the little boy was looking around confused. I really hope the parents see this post.

The News

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Nannies/Sitters
Times are tough. A Greenwich, CT nanny is charged with stealing the wallet of a Shelton man after meeting him at a bar, then using his credit card to buy more than $700 in merchandise at stores in the Westfield Trumbull mall. Katarzyna Klimsiak, 26, of Webb Avenue, Stamford, surrendered to police Monday after being told there was a warrant for her arrest. She was charged with theft of a credit card, illegal use of a credit card and second-degree forgery. She was released on a $5,000 bond. A tryst, really?

Laurie Belkin of the NY Times tells us when to report a nanny to the police. (You can always report them to us!)

A former Springfield, MO teacher and babysitter who admitted molesting two boys received a seven-year prison sentence on Monday. Laura Kirkland of Springfield pleaded guilty last October in two separate and unrelated cases.

West Jordan, Utah police are investigating a case of two small children found wandering alone Monday night. Police say employees of the Arctic Circle restaurant at 3365 W. 7800 South found the children, ages 2 and 3, outside the business around 9:30 p.m. and called police. Police say the mother left the children in the care of a 13-year-old babysitter at their apartment Monday evening. When the mother came home, the teen told her the children were fine and in bed. When the mother awoke Tuesday morning and looked in on the children, she discovered they were missing and called police. (Check on your children when you get home, how about a nice kiss goodnight?)

A San Antonio woman, Analisa Urias, answered Elizabeth Johnson's call to her babysitter ad on Craigslist on December 21st and might be the last person to have seen Gabriel Johnson alive. She informed San Antonio authorities and the FBI that she watched the 8-month-old child for Elizabeth Johnson only a couple hours.

The Moms
A Naperville mother known for being active in her community was acquitted Monday of endangering her son's life in an incident sparked by a burnt pizza. Police arrested Mary P. Morrissey about 9:30 p.m. Aug. 17 after accusing her of being too drunk to provide proper supervision of the 10-year-old boy in their home on Tulip Lane.

A 25-year-old Ogden, Utah mother was arrested Sunday on suspicion of smothering to death her 2-month-old son.

A 41-year-old metro mother is in custody for sexual assault of a child. Police say the victim is her 15-year-old son.

A Wheaton, Il. mother faces criminal charges after police said they found her two children home alone in a roach-infested apartment without electricity.

Georgia mom Lynn Geter forced her son to smash his pet hamster to death with a hammer when the boy presented her with a bad grade, according to police.

Lynette Marie Gray, 34, appeared before Judge G. Todd Baugh and admitted to a felony charge of assault on a minor. Gray remains free on a $2,500 bond. She is scheduled to be sentenced March 29. Gray admitted that on Oct. 4, 2008, she was at Rimrock Mall with her 3-year-old son. Gray admitted that she was intoxicated, and that she jerked her son by the ear and collar, causing him to fall and hit his face on the floor. (Someone was paying attention and reported her!)

Bond was set at $20,000 Monday for the Beatrice teen accused of duct-taping a toddler to a wall. According to the police report, images were obtained that were taken on Dec. 31, 2009, of the child’s mother and Honea taunting the child by duct-taping his Sippy cup just out of reach.
Other images showed the child duct-taped to the wall with pieces of duct tape at the wrist and strips across his torso and legs preventing any movement. The mother admitted that she pinned the child against the wall while Honea duct-taped him so his back was against the wall. The mother is being held at the Lancaster County Youth Detention Center and the child has been turned over to state authorities.

Brooklyn, NY

Received Monday, January 26, 2010
I was walking along 7th Ave. on Friday around noon when I came to the intersection of Union Street. Suddenly a little boy about 3 to 4 years old, riding a scooter quite fast, came rolling off the sidewalk into the street. Just by luck no car was coming. A woman who appeared to be his Nanny went into the street and carried the boy back to the sidewalk and put the boy into the empty stroller she was pushing. She was a black woman around 40-45. I think she may have been wearing a red hat and dark coat. The woman didn't say anything to the boy that I heard and they continued along 7th Ave. in the direction of Flatbush Ave. I am hoping that the parents find out about this before something terrible happens to their child

CL-WTF?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) BDSM lifestyle couple seeking babysitter/au pair (UWS/New York)
BDSM couple living in Manhattan seeks kinky babysitter or au-pair. We have a 3 bedroom apt near Columbia U., so this could be a great opportunity for a student. We may be looking for someone to travel with the mom or both of us in the future as well. Room and board provided for au pair. We might end up looking for just a baby sitter if we don't find the right live in situation.
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/kid/1561890869.html
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Special thanks to Jlow2474 for our Feature Ad... that was an awesome find! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Ads: kjconstabaris, SFClaire, Cinder38, hijabiniqaabi, MissMannah, Lindsay_Mommyof4, MissDee and Momma Bear... all of you did a fantastic job! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Starbucks on Wisconsin Ave in NW D.C.

Received Friday, January 22, 2010
Good Nanny Sighting: 1/20/10 around 2:45pm
Nanny with dark brown hair slim build.
There were two school aged children with her. I didn't get a good look at them. I believe it was a boy and a girl the girl had blonde hair.
This nanny was great. I heard her talking to the children on the way to starbucks. They were walking behind me. The children were well mannered and genuinely happy to be with the nanny.
She was telling them they were getting hot chocolate because of how great they had been.
It was really nice to see a nanny that seemed to take lots of interest in her charges :)

Columbus Avenue and 69th - UWS - Manhattan

Received Thursday, January 21, 2010
9:15 AM Upper West Side, Manhattan: Columbus Avenue and 69th walking North ---double stroller -- brown color, multi-stripe diaper bag hanging off the back. Red-headed child under two years old bawling, sobbing, totally distraught. Heavy-ish black nanny completely ignoring child, chatting to fellow nannies with children. Child has no hat, no gloves --- very distraught. 1/21/2010


If you have a sighting please use MEEBO or send it to Jane at isawyournanny@aol.com. Thank you!

CL-WTF?

Monday, January 18, 2010


.... WHAT?!

1) Looking for fun, loving childcare for my lil ones! (Norfolk)
I am the mother of a 4 month old and 21 month old. I have just started back to work after 3 years and have been through 3 babysitters so far I am looking to find the right sitter to care for my children. I am also looking for a small ratio less than 10:1 and someone who will supervise the children. I'm looking for someone that won't feed my child junk food all day. Someone who is caring, knows where my child is at all times, will be open to my questions about their day, and needs. Not easily offended and caring. I would like someone who limits the number of non child related people in their home and does not have my child around strangers (with the exception of other parents picking up their children). I need someone who is in charge of the children and doesn't pass them off on family members or other children that may be in the home. I need someone who is sensitive to the individual needs of my child. These things sound pretty common sense but you would be suprised about what I have witnessed in my child's current daycare. I am looking for someone who is fair and will not let children beat up on my child or my child beat up on other children. I am very easygoing and I just want my children to be safe. I used to work in daycare so I need someplace safe for my child to go.

If this doesn't sound like too much to ask please contact me at your convenience... :)

IF you believe you could be this person, then please answer my questions as best as you can and send your response to me. ***ONLY SERIOUS RESPONSES PLEASE. I AM NOT LOOKING TO WASTE YOUR TIME, SO PLEASE DO NOT WASTE MINE. THANK YOU.*** . Have a blessed day!

Questions pertaining to care (please fill these out with as much information as you can provide ):

What are your certifications? Do you have any education or training in childcare? Do you have a childcare license or first aid certification?
How long have you been watching children?
What is a typical day/night like for the children? (ie- daily activities/ daily schedule)
What things do you provide vs. what do you not provide? (ie- extra car seats for field trips, daily snacks or meals, wipes, blankets/ bedding for naps/ sleeping, games, toys, and other things of that nature)
What are your emergency procedures?
If a child suddenly becomes ill or has an allergic reaction what precautions do you take to “cure” the child or isolate the issue?
What are your methods of punishment for a naughty child?
Are there any animals in your household? If so, how many and how do they interact with the children?
Can you provide references?
What are your hours like?
What are your normal rates?
What education do you provide the children ?
Do you provide any kinesthetic learning-times for the children (as in, do you allow times for them to learn through songs, dance, and movements)?
Do you take field trips to any places?
Are you willing to set up an interview and/or test run or two to test how well my child will fit into your care?
What days/nights are you available for a face-to-face interview?
Do you have any children? Are they punished equally to the children you take care of?
Do you permit any of the children to bully the other children (i.e.- do you let the children “get away with” biting each other or hitting one another)?
Are you willing to give a tour to potentials’ parents so they may see what your facility is like?
Do you have a file system readily available to keep track of emergency procedures, allergies, necessary emergency contact information, children’s typical schedules, and other notations?
How do you help with a child who is difficult to potty-train?
What ages of children do you care for and do you try to do activities to cater to each level of learning?
Do you have a facility of your own where you care for children or do you prefer to go to the houses of the people you sit for?
Also, if you'd like to simply tell me about yourself then please feel free to do so.

I am not asking for your life story, but in these hard times it becomes harder to find someone truly trustworthy.
Original URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1552190360.html
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Special thanks to the following Readers who Contributed to this weeks Article: VAnanny, mbargielski, abigailsmom09, amyfacie, MissDee, live.moxie, michelle.j.nelson and JLow2474... all of you did an awesome job! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Is Nanny Liable for Dented Car?

Received Monday, January 18, 2010
Wrecked car... I dented the bumper of the nanny car while going to grocery store to get icing for cookies for a playdate. No one involved. Family did not have me on insurance and they want me to pay. About $1000. (I am full time/live in.) I personally feel that even for me to pay part of it is wrong. I am the employee. I feel it is 100% their responsibility even though of course I am so very sorry and feel so bad about it. Please comment to help me decide how to proceed.

Oh no!

Friday, January 15, 2010
The lovely and talented MPP is experiencing debilitating computer problems. As such, CL-WTF; MPP's highly decorated, hotly anticipated weekly feature will not run until Monday evening. Fear not, we have ISYN interns scouring the globe to bring you something earth shattering to fill this momentous chasm.

In the news...

Thieving Times
A nanny accused of stealing from a Rye, (NH) couple that hired her to care for their children pleaded not guilty Wednesday and remains free on $5,000 personal recognizance bail. Susanne Swanson, 35, who cites a Westminster, Mass., post office box as her new address, was arraigned Wednesday on a felony count of theft from a building. The charge alleges she stole cash, jewelry and narcotics from the couple on Nov. 18, her first day on the job. (She arrived acting erratically and you still left your children with her?)

A Pembroke woman who stole several thousand dollars worth of jewelry from a Marshfield home where she was working as a nanny admitted to one charge of larceny last week in Plymouth District Court. Jennifer M. Fiori, 23, of Yale Street was sentenced to two years of probation on the charge and was ordered to pay yet-to-be-determined restitution to the jewelry owners as well as two jewelry stores where she sold some of the items.

A nanny has been arrested after she stole an ATM personal identification number and card, made $3,900 in fraudulent withdrawals, stole vitamins and a Louis Vuitton wallet from the Centre Island family she worked for, police said

Sad News
A man accused of killing his daughter and her baby sitter last week was barred by Family Court from any contact with his wife in December after an argument in her home, authorities said Tuesday.

Seeking Wisdom...

Received Friday, January 15, 2010
Hello ISYN readers,
I'm a veteran nanny with 15 years experience and a new mom with 2 years experience. I am finally embarking on my first nanny job since having my little girl and will be bringing my child along to work with me daily. From past experience I know how important the nanny/parent working agreement is and I'm trying to write one up but am feeling some "writer's block". It's been so long that I just can't seem to get into the right frame of mind. So, as a regular reader and admirer of all of your comments and advice, I'm asking you all to give me some of your wisdom. Any reminders of what should be included in the working agreement, some good links to generic working agreement forms, advice regarding having your own child on board, whatever you have to offer. I've been looking for a job for a long time now, this one is in the final stages of the hiring process and I'm getting nervous and could use some support from fellow nannies.

Some background about my situation. I have a 2 year old girl, the family I'll be working for has 4 children....18 month old boy/girl twins, a 4 year girl and 6 year old boy. The family is moving here to Pittsburgh in a few days. The interview process was initiated through an agency I've worked with for many years. The family and I have exchanged numerous lengthy E-mails discussing absolutely everything under the sun, including,(but not limited to), schedules, duties, transportation, personalities, benefits, expectations, how the daily routine will include my daughter, etc. etc. etc. I spoke on the phone to both parents for over 2 hours and we have a face to face interview planned for this week as well as a follow up interview in which my child will meet their children. Assuming all goes well, I will start on January 25th,(yes, just a little over a week away!). We have agreed to a long trial period of one month to 6 weeks just to be sure we are all comfortable with the situation,(that being that my own child will be present and it's my first time performing this job with my own child present and their first time hiring a nanny who'll be bringing her own child). I'd like to write up an agreement for the trial period and then a permanent agreement to be signed upon completion of the trial period. The reason for 2 separate agreements is there are a few decisions that need to be ironed out after they've been in town, at thier new jobs for a couple weeks...such as the exact daily hours and working out the pick up times and transport of the two older children. I just feel like it'd be easier to start with a temporary agreement now and firm up the permanent one as we get there. The mother will be working out of her home office which is offering us some flexibility in the routine. Unlike some nannies, I don't mind parents working at home, I've worked for many families with this being the case and USUALLY haven't had a problem with it. For what it's worth, the mother has been sooooo nice thus far. She seems easy going, willing to cooperate and communicate with me on all issues and really seems to share MANY of my philosophies on child care/discipline/development.

I will have 8 hour work days,(aprox. 9-5/10-6), Mon. - Fri. I'll care for the twins all day long, the 3 year old from 1PM on and the 6 year old from 3PM on. The respective preschools are both within 1 1/2 miles of the home and may be picked up on foot, in my car or the employers car, with or without the toddlers......that's all to be worked out in the first couple weeks. When summer comes the 3 year will continue with her preschool all week and the 6 year old will likely go to camp most of the day. The starting offer is $14/hr....I'm thinking of asking for a little more, not really sure considering I'm bringing my own child. That hourly wage is typical here in Pittsburgh for an average sized family, although I think 4 kids is above 'average'. They are offering 2 weeks vacation and paid holidays, wage reviews every year. No health benefits. I'm thinking of asking for sick days but not sure how many.

I hope I've included enough info for you all to start firing away. If you I've forgotten anything vital I apologize. I've looked at this from every angle I can think of, now I'm hoping you'll offer some angles I haven't thought of. Oh, and to Curious Dad...please, go easy on my grammar, I tried my best and I'm pretty sure all my "I"s are properly capitalized. Thanks to everyone in advance!

Occasional overnights and extended hours...

Received Friday, January 15, 2010
I'm hoping to get some ideas from all of your great experience. I began a new job in December which, so far, has gone very well. I care for newborn twins. My hours are 6:30 am - 6:30 pm. The family has been very thoughtful and welcoming to me. The babies are sweet and so far easy (keeping in mind they are twins though, so consistently labor intense for my whole shift!) I also offer them great qualifications and they know it and tell me how grateful they are everyday.

So my question is this: If my hours are 12 hours per day, with "occasional overnights and extended hours" because one parent travels for business, what would each of you consider fair regarding overtime pay (if any at all). The parents have others that would stay with the at home parent and help out, but they have made it clear that they would prefer me and will always give me first choice. I think they are assuming I will be paid my regular hourly rate. Maybe that is fair, I'm too close to the picture to see clearly. I do know I am pretty pooped after 12 hours. I also know I need the money, but I am not one to sell myself short just because I need money. I am asking myself if I should just be grateful to have a job and take my regular salary of $17.00 per hour for the extra hours. I haven't talked about this at all yet, and the first trip is coming up the end of February. There is nothing in my contract about overtime, but we are still negotiating my contract after a month of experiencing the situation. As of last night I now have my contract to review and sign.

Any experience/wisdom would be appreciated. I'm very happy here, just trying to be clear in my original negotiations so I continue being happy and so do they! Thanks!

1/2/3 Subway Stop on the UWS - 96th St. - NY

Received Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Wed. Jan. 13, 2010; ~ 3:20pm, 96th St 1/2/3 subway stop on the Upper West Side headed north on the #1. Two young boys, the younger one named Pepe, with a female nanny. Pepe was crying incessantly and I believe calling out for his mother. The nanny then told him, "Mommy doesn't want to see you crying like a baby." She threatened to just leave him there at the subway station alone if he didn't stop crying. The nanny repeatedly barked at Pepe, "Shut up!" She went so far as to look him straight in the face and say, "Die!".

Bad Nanny Warning - Manhattan/New York

Received Wednesday January 13, 2010 - Rants and Warnings
Do not hire this Nanny. Her name is Crystal. She is a nanny from Mexico. She is in her twenties. She is thin. She has no papers. She gave my neighbor’s son 3 times the amount of Benadryl that a 3 year old child should have. He was unconscious last night when she arrived at home. He was rushed to the ER, but he is fine now. The nanny was fired on the spot. My neighbour suspects she has been doing this to keep him quiet during the day. She has been his nanny for nearly a year and a half. To our knowledge, she has no children of her own. She works in New York City and Manhattan.

Confession time:
I feel like a right @ss in this situation. Flashback to another episode when I actually saw this nanny with the little boy (LB). Last November, I bought the little boy (LB) a book for his birthday. When I went to their flat to deliver it, I heard the nanny struggling to get him into the stroller. It was freezing rain that day, and not sure why she needed to go out. He didn’t want to go out, probably the reason for the struggle. The lifts in our building where broken. When we finally got a lift, it was completely full, so I just jumped on (with my baby in tow) because I didn’t want everyone to see me snooping at my neighbor’s door. When we got to the lobby, my instincts told me “Just go back up for a minute.” By the time I got back up to her floor, the LB was quiet, completely dressed in his jacket, in the stroller, and the nanny was locking the door. The LB had a HUGE sippy cup in his hand. And I hate seeing the kids with these, because I suspected the nannies are just giving the kids sugary drinks all day to keep them happy/quiet. (Little did I know something more sinister is going on.) So I gave her the evil eye. She saw in my face that I didn’t like what was going on, and she lifted up the plastic cover on his stroller, without me asking. I think she wanted to let me see that he was okay, so they could go on their way. I called his name several times, but he didn’t answer. He was just sobbing hard as if he had been crying. She asked me who I was, and I asked her who she was. She took the birthday gift from me and chucked it inside. Then his puppy ran out, so we spent some time getting the puppy back into the flat. Long story short - I let her go. I let her go even though my gut was telling me that she had just done something wrong to the LB. How on earth could she get him subdued so quickly? Why on earth did she need to take him out in that kind of weather? I stayed up that whole night thinking about it, and still didn’t tell the mom. The mom said she was very happy with her nanny, and that he loved her, so why should I be the Biddy in the Building whose in everyone’s business? Would I dare question the judgement of the mother by criticizing her choice of nanny? Especially without proof of foulplay?

Well, I made a mistake, and I failed that little boy that day. I know there are some good nannies out there, but I’m telling you parents to please think about it? Do you ever see a crying child with his nanny? I NEVER, EVER see a child crying with his nanny. Have you ever noticed how the children look so despondent and limp when they are in the strollers with these nannies? Now I know, when I see a child crying, the person he is with is his PARENT!

Please monitor your medicine cabinets as soon as possible. All of us parents know that a child’s crying can grate on us, and wear us down during the day. But if a person cannot take a child’s fussiness, they should not be working with children under any circumstances!! The bigger a child gets, and the more he cries, the bigger the dose the nanny will have to give him to keep him quiet. This could kill a child easily.

How many other children has Crystal done this to? How many other nannies out there use this as standard practice? Is Benadryl a trade secret amongst nannies? If so, feel me in, because I am a new mom, and new to all of this. I know one thing, this is criminal, and it must stop. Why are mothers (and fathers) constantly pushed up against the wall if they dare go back to work or try to have a life outside of motherhood? Our choices are so few, and it is so unfair.

In The News

January 11, 2010
Twice-Convicted Abuser Leaves Nightmare in His Wake - Norfolk, VA.
Seven years have passed since his father, Walter Z. Speller, so severely beat Isaiah that it left the then-14-month-old boy brain damaged, blinded and paralyzed on his left side. Speller has long since served the two-year sentence a Virginia Beach jury recommended after convicting him of child abuse.

After his release, Speller met another woman, had another son.

He beat that child, Ohene Speller, injuring his brain and paralyzing him. Ohene's half sister, Laniah, suffered similar abuse and brain damage. (continued)

Child Abuse Charges - Oklahoma City, OK.
A teenager testified in Oklahoma County court Wednesday showing the judge his scars as he told about years of abuse. The 15-year-old was unemotional in the preliminary hearing as he explained how his mother LaRhonda McCall and her Friend Steve Hamilton allegedly abused and neglected him over 4 years. During the testimony, McCall shook her head several times.

The boy grew up in New Jersey in the custody of his mother's cousin. He says when he was 10 he was told he was coming to Oklahoma for a visit.

He says he was left here and the abuse began around his eleventh birthday. (continued)

Littleton, Colorado

Received Saturday, January 9, 2010
When: Today (Saturday, January 9) 3:10-ish p.m.
Where: 8673 South Quebec King Soopers
What happened: A woman I'm fairly sure was the nanny and a little boy were leaving King Soopers (without anything). The little boy slipped on a spot of the floor getting mopped and fell face-forward. I think he bonked his head a little bit. He started to cry (obviously) and the nanny roughly pulled him up and said "Come on, that's what you get when you walk in front of me. (?) Let's GO!" She pulled him out of the store and didn't try to comfort him or see if he was okay. The last thing I heard was "You're fine, stop crying." Then they walked into the parking lot (boy still crying), where they crossed the front of the store where cars are quite active. She didn't make any movement to hold the boy's hand while they crossed or, in fact, keep him near her at all.
Appearances:
Nanny- 5'5" -ish, 150 lbs. Light brown hair (the color of bronze) that looked dyed pulled back into a long ponytail. Baggy navy blue sweatshirt (not a hoodie), matching capri sweats, scuffed white tennis shoes, and medium-sized hoop earrings. I didn't see her face, but I think she was carrying a wallet.
Boy- Dark straight brown hair, cut short and combed. Light baggy jeans and grey t-shirt, white tennis shoes. He looked about 3 or 4.

Nanny didn't seem to care at all that the boy slipped and blamed it on him walking in front of her (he was NEXT to her, not in front), which made no sense. The parking lot at this King Soopers is really busy and she should have held his hand and kept him next to her the whole time. I felt so bad for the little boy. He was obviously upset and shocked at slipping on something he couldn't see, then being berated for it.

Warning Signs of a Bad Childcare Provider

Doesn't Engage in Conversation with Parent
It's not too much to expect for a sitter to greet parents, smile and engage in some small talk. He/she should ask about the kids, wish you a good time, and converse long enough to make you feel comfortable.

Doesn't Seem to Care or Focus on Instructions Provided
A good sitter should note instructions you're providing and acknowledge a thorough understanding. If you're telling the sitter that kids must have a bath and be in bed at a certain time, and she is going "yeah, right, whatever" or doesn't seem to be paying attention to anything you're saying, you should worry about any follow-through occurring.

Arrives Late or is Frequently Unreliable
Family emergencies or the unavoidable can certainly happen, but a chronically late or consistently canceling babysitter can create a huge hardship on parents and destroy best-laid plans. If your sitter doesn't care enough about the job to arrive on time and be sensitive of your plans, then find one who will!

Child Wail About Being Left Alone with Her (or Him)
It's not unusual for kids to not want to be apart from mom or dad. But if a kid becomes an emotional wreck over being left with a particular sitter, then parents should have second-thoughts about using that person. It could be nothing more than separation anxiety or the kid being told "no" and holding it against the sitter; or it could signify something more.

Child Shows A Change of Behavior While Awake or Change in Sleep Pattern
If a normally outgoing and independent child suddenly becomes clingy and withdrawn, or begins waking up throughout the night with terrors or other sleep issues, and the change can be attributed to timing with a sitter, then parents should be concerned.

Children Seem to Have Frequent Accidents
A cut or scrape or two is a normal occurrence with healthy and active kids, and should present no cause for alarm with parents. Still, a good babysitter will be quick to offer an explanation (i.e. a trip to the park resulted in a spill from the slide). But frequent accidents that result in injuries beyond that could signify either a lack of supervision or worse, physical abuse.

Invites Someone Else Over (Without Your Permission)
Sitters sometimes gain the confidence of families, and then with time feel "entitled" to invite a friend or even date over during the evening. While parents sometimes even offer this to help relieve nerves of being in a home alone with kids, it's out of line for a sitter to assume this action is okay.

Seems Lethargic, Exhausted
You've hired a babysitter to watch your children while you're out having a good time (or at least kid-free time), so the least of your worries should be whether your kids are entertained and having safe fun in your absence. A sitter who arrives seemingly exhausted or without energy is not going to provide quality care. Parents should worry about lack of supervision, or a sitter who simply plants tots in front of the TV and gives orders for not being disturbed.

Thoroughly screened candidates and background checks aside, how to know if your sitter isn't all she claims to be? Yes, there are nanny cameras; but the best thing is to have the nanny observed by a friend, family member or neighbor unknown to her. If you are a friend, family member or neighbor of someone with a nanny or sitter that seems to be lacking, what you see is relevant. Please find a way to let the parents know what you have observed. Our site is one such way. You can email Jane directly or submit an anonymous sighting to MPP using meebo, (in the side bar).

CL-WTF?

Saturday, January 9, 2010

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Im not appreciated here maybe youll do better (New Jersey)
someone needed to cook for my husband they dont eat my cooking go food shopping take care of baby pick up my husband clothing around the house baby wont eat anything other that hotdogs cheese and rye bread make lunches for husband No need to have conversations with my husband he only talks to his friends no sex hell take care of himself he just wants your dinner ready and the house clean lunch in fridge coffe maker set for the next morning look for his thermos in his truck wash and put next to coffe maker for him and if you make him rum and cokes every day 4 - 5 instead of telling him not to drink every daythat'd be great for him over the weekends you get to spend some more time with the baby my husband will get home in time for dinner after fishing climbing etc with his friends and then go to sleep at 9pm after he watches his shows again no real discussions required you wont have anything to say other than what the baby did anyway whatever you do dont take a nap when the babies sleeping you might want to out of boredom but hell be mad to see you sleeping i mean he works... go food shopping cook take care of baby who wont eat anything solid you make wake up and do it again!! your not allowed to leave the house without taking the baby
Original URL: http://newjersey.craigslist.org/dmg/1540208462.html
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Special thanks to both cdhere25 and northjerseynanny for our Feature Ad... awesome job! Also, thank you to MissDee, mbargielski, JLow2474 and missmannah... all of you found some really great Ads! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

How Do I Approach Negotiations for a Raise?

Received Friday, January 8, 2010
Hello, I am in a bit of a sticky situation and would like to hear some opinions on my position.

I have been working with my current family for a year now, as a live-out nanny. I work for a single well-to-do Mum, and my charges are 3 year old autistic twin boys. My salary is $925 bi-weekly, after taxes, for a 47.5 hour work week. (Over-time hours are paid under the table at $12 per hour.) Also included in my salary is my monthly transit pass (I need it to get the kids to their daily appointments) and I receive 2 weeks paid vacation a year.

My responsibilities (besides caring for the boys) include:
-ALL food preparation - I cook for the children all day, prepare dinner for the whole family each night, make the Mum's lunch for work, and also prepare meals for over the weekend.
-ALL household laundry - the Mum's, the childrens', bedding, towels, you name it.
-ALL the grocery shopping - I shop for fresh things in the neighborhood, and make the lists for all the other things which are purchased online and delivered for me to put away.
-ALL cleaning, done each week - It's a 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom home.
-ALL garbage/compost/recycling is handled by me.

Also I take care of going to each and every single appointment the children have, and they have a lot, as well as cutting their hair, fingernails, changing their diapers, attending speech therapy and everything else that goes into working with special needs children.

Here's my situation, though... It's been a year (I know my employer is happy with my abilities and how I work) and I need to know where (as in percentage, or dollar amount) should I begin the negotiations for a raise? I do feel I am being grossly underpaid, I work with TWIN TODDLER SPECIAL NEEDS children.... $9.74 an hour doesn't seem enough for that. I would have negotiated for more right from the start of my position, but the children have been diagnosed autistic within my past working year with them. When agreeing to the job I was informed they were typical, but slightly developmentally delayed due to being born so prematurely. Ideally I would like to initiate a conversation about how I'd like to receive a "raise" to bring me up to what I should be getting paid, and also lock down a fixed raise raise rate for the coming years. (I have agreed to stay 2 more years, at least-since planning ahead is important with autistic children, being that they need to be so routine.)

What are all your thoughts on; my current pay rate, what you think I should be paid, how much is average to " expect" as a yearly raise and any suggestions on good ways to bring this up? I have a great relationship with the Mum, love working with the boys and really don't want this to come to me looking for a new job, but I just don't think I'm getting paid enough for what I do. Thank you for all your comments!

When Nannies Take the Place of Parents

Received Friday, January 8, 2010 - Rant
My wife and I worked as tag team nanny’s for the summer a few years ago in Amherst, NY. We are both certified teachers with Masters degrees in early childhood education. In addition, we have several years of experience in daycare and school age education. The child whom we worked for was the unfortunate product of lack of parenting. From birth he had been raised by a Nanny, as mom and dad; working resident physicians had zero time for him. As a result he was three years of age, not completely toilet trained, still drank from a bottle, and slept in a crib. My wife and I were appalled, however our attempts at age appropriate maturation were stifled, via the fact that such behavior was reinforced via the mother in a quazi attempt at “attention”.

Under one instance when she came home from work the child was already in bed, and night diapered; she let him go “fucacca” Russian for poop in his diaper, when he could have used the toilet! She also brought him bottles on frequent occasions and he was over three years of age! To make matters worst, this child’s mother was pregnant again; hence the child was intelligent enough to realize that he was no longer going to be the “baby”. As we worked for this child, we took him everywhere amusement parks, local parks, etc and he had a great time with us. Prior to such, he had not left the house, as his previous Russian nanny did not have a license.

This child greatly longed for mom and dad to spend time with him, and did not want his mother to leave for work, which is a common response with preschoolers. This child also did not want to go to daycare either as he was accustomed to a private nanny as a playmate. However, once the child was at daycare, or was with my wife and I for a few minutes he was fine. To illustrate this fact of a lack of parental involvement the father a radiologist was leaving for the Cleveland clinic for a year to finish his residency, hence he would only see his child on weekends. The evening before he was ready to leave, the child asked his father to play, knowing full well that he was going to be leaving. The father responded, sorry “E” I have to go work out, go play. As a result we subsequently left the position-debating calling CPS for parental neglect.

Fast-forwarding a few years, I left teaching for a while as I needed a break and my position was cut. I interviewed for a great nanny position for a 14 month old. I listed this family as a reference as I assumed that things were fine, and even though there were problems with the parents, we did a great job with the child. This woman had the audacity to tell the family of the 14 month old that she had her reservations about me as her child was unhappy and did not want her to leave when she left for work, thus she felt there was an underlying issue. Hence, she felt that a 14 month old was too young, as he could not articulate his concerns. She also stated that she has been through several nannies in the course of several years, I wonder why?

She also drew a faulty character nexus under a supposed altercation with a snooty neighbor whom did not like us parking our dented sub 100K vehicles across from his house. Apparently, this gentleman had asked us one day, not to park in front of his house, my wife and I responded in a direct tone, that it was a public street, and parking in the host families driveway was not possible due to car movement. This individual told this family that I had lost my temper with him, which was completely false. Hence, this woman painted a picture that I was some type of anger management case and I was not fit to be around kids. When the prospective family told me of her statements, I was floored-I was a quazi father to the child and was nothing but kind, nurturing, playful, and supportive to his needs.

Sadly this woman is currently an ophthalmologist in Rhode Island. I only hope she is not as blind as a physician as she is as a parent. My heart goes out to “E”, whom has had to endure the torment of having two parents, whom are too busy with their lives to love him.

CL-WTF?

Saturday, January 2, 2010

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Looking for the Perfect Nanny for 3 children full-time (California)
We are looking for a nanny to care for our three children in our home. We have a 6 month old boy, an almost 5 year old girl, and a 7 year old boy. The hours are 9AM to 6PM. The oldest is in school until 2:30PM and the middle one is in preschool on M-W-F from 12:30PM to 3:30PM. You would have all three kids full-time during school breaks. You must have the ability to take care of the infant and all his developmental and physical needs while still keeping the older 2 engaged in creative and fun activities (NO TV). You must be able to set limits and maintain composure and keep all three children safe, happy, stimulated, and well cared for at all times. Duties are all child-related. Requirements are as follows:

Full-time experience caring for both infants and active, older children simultaneously for more than one year with the same family
Perfect references with parents who say "I can't think of anything negative about......(insert your name)" when I ask them if there were any areas of weakness.
Own reliable car with room for 1 infant seat and 2 booster seats in the back. Car must be a 2005 or newer.
Perfect driving record with no accidents ever. We will order a copy of your driving record AND give you a one hour driving test before offering you the position.
Trustline registered with no criminal background
Be willing to work a two week trial period with close supervision before we offer you the job
CPR and First Aid with preferred further training in child and home safety
Signed document from a physician (we provide the document) stating that you are smoke-free, drug-free, TB free, and in excellent health
Willing to follow parent's directions exactly
Mature in nature and NOT bring personal problems or drama to work. Do not reply if you're going to come here all upset because of drama you're having with a boyfriend, roommate, or family member.
Can handle constructive criticism without getting defensive
Neat, clean, and organized. No scatterbrains or slobs. We realize there will be messes but the nanny should be willing to clean up after all three children and herself, of course.

Please include the following information in body of the e-mail rather than as an attached resume. We will delete e-mails that do not have all the information:

Your full name: we will call trustline to verify that you are listed with them. If you're not, we will not contact you back.
Your age and number of years as a nanny
A description of your personal living situation right now (are you married, living with a boyfriend, living with roommate, living with relatives?)
Do you have your own children? What ages? If so, who will take care of them while you work for us? (you may NOT bring them with you)
A vivid description of your most recent nanny position
An example activity for a crawling infant
An example activity for 5-7 year olds
The names and phone numbers from two families you have previously worked for as a FULL-TIME NANNY. We will call them before even setting up an interview
Your salary requirements

We look forward to hearing from you,
David and Karen
Original URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/kid/1526189946.html
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Special thanks to meetha for our Feature Ad... awesome job! Also, thank you to cinder38, MissDee, mbargielski, VAnanny, nennydebsays and talesfromthe(nanny)hood... all of you found some really good ones this week... great work! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!