Received Friday, January 8, 2010 - Rant
My wife and I worked as tag team nanny’s for the summer a few years ago in Amherst, NY. We are both certified teachers with Masters degrees in early childhood education. In addition, we have several years of experience in daycare and school age education. The child whom we worked for was the unfortunate product of lack of parenting. From birth he had been raised by a Nanny, as mom and dad; working resident physicians had zero time for him. As a result he was three years of age, not completely toilet trained, still drank from a bottle, and slept in a crib. My wife and I were appalled, however our attempts at age appropriate maturation were stifled, via the fact that such behavior was reinforced via the mother in a quazi attempt at “attention”.
Under one instance when she came home from work the child was already in bed, and night diapered; she let him go “fucacca” Russian for poop in his diaper, when he could have used the toilet! She also brought him bottles on frequent occasions and he was over three years of age! To make matters worst, this child’s mother was pregnant again; hence the child was intelligent enough to realize that he was no longer going to be the “baby”. As we worked for this child, we took him everywhere amusement parks, local parks, etc and he had a great time with us. Prior to such, he had not left the house, as his previous Russian nanny did not have a license.
This child greatly longed for mom and dad to spend time with him, and did not want his mother to leave for work, which is a common response with preschoolers. This child also did not want to go to daycare either as he was accustomed to a private nanny as a playmate. However, once the child was at daycare, or was with my wife and I for a few minutes he was fine. To illustrate this fact of a lack of parental involvement the father a radiologist was leaving for the Cleveland clinic for a year to finish his residency, hence he would only see his child on weekends. The evening before he was ready to leave, the child asked his father to play, knowing full well that he was going to be leaving. The father responded, sorry “E” I have to go work out, go play. As a result we subsequently left the position-debating calling CPS for parental neglect.
Fast-forwarding a few years, I left teaching for a while as I needed a break and my position was cut. I interviewed for a great nanny position for a 14 month old. I listed this family as a reference as I assumed that things were fine, and even though there were problems with the parents, we did a great job with the child. This woman had the audacity to tell the family of the 14 month old that she had her reservations about me as her child was unhappy and did not want her to leave when she left for work, thus she felt there was an underlying issue. Hence, she felt that a 14 month old was too young, as he could not articulate his concerns. She also stated that she has been through several nannies in the course of several years, I wonder why?
She also drew a faulty character nexus under a supposed altercation with a snooty neighbor whom did not like us parking our dented sub 100K vehicles across from his house. Apparently, this gentleman had asked us one day, not to park in front of his house, my wife and I responded in a direct tone, that it was a public street, and parking in the host families driveway was not possible due to car movement. This individual told this family that I had lost my temper with him, which was completely false. Hence, this woman painted a picture that I was some type of anger management case and I was not fit to be around kids. When the prospective family told me of her statements, I was floored-I was a quazi father to the child and was nothing but kind, nurturing, playful, and supportive to his needs.
Sadly this woman is currently an ophthalmologist in Rhode Island. I only hope she is not as blind as a physician as she is as a parent. My heart goes out to “E”, whom has had to endure the torment of having two parents, whom are too busy with their lives to love him.