Tuesday

Looking for Nanny Horror Stories!

Are you a nanny who narrowly made it out of a peculiar nanny arrangement? Would you like to share your awesome story with our readers? Please send your contribution to isynjane@aol.com.

Saying Goodbye, #1

I suggested this feature because I know a lot of nannies who have had hard goodbyes with their children. Some see it coming, others, like myself, do not.

For almost four years, I was a nanny for two children, both of whom I started with at birth. When the children were 1 and almost 4, the parents asked me to meet them at an amusement park on a Friday afternoon. This was not unusual.

We met in the front. Once we saw each other, the father asked me to return to the car with him to help him with the stroller. He even made a joke of it as we walked away from the mother and the children. Once at the car, the father told me, "Mrs. X has taken the children into the park. I have your final paycheck. We feel it's time for you to move on."

He handed me the final paycheck and asked if I needed anything from the house or car. I was floored.
He followed me to the car where I collected a few odds and ends. Tears were burning my eyes and I fought to hold them back.

Working for them was never pleasant, but I stayed because of their children. They were both absent parents who were very vain and didn't seem to have any real regard or concerns for their children, excepting that they shouldn't get fat.  The almost four year old was healthy looking, not fat, but her mother was becoming increasingly rigid about her eating and had even taken to grilling me about what I was letting her eat. I worked for them for almost four years and had only a surface relationship with the parents. They would say good morning or good evening but never asked about my life or shared anything with me except instructions or disappointments in something I had failed to do.

I never took a single sick day in all that time. I never got a raise, I never asked for a raise. I never caused them any inconvenience. I should have known that being cold people things would end like this but I was not prepared. I never got to say good bye to the children I had raised. I fed them three meals a day, got them up in the morning, tucked them in at night, even said their prayers with them.
This was 2 years ago and I still think about that day every single day. I wonder what the absence of a good bye did to those two beautiful spirits. I don't know what the parents told the children. I do hope they remember that they were very much loved by me.

*This submission has been edited at request of author as English is not her first language.
If you have a Goodbye story you would like to share with ISYN, please email isynjane@aol.com.

ISYN Link of the Day

Kids Health
Kids can learn health facts, tips, and other information about subjects including feelings, staying healthy, and illness on the kids' version of KidsHealth.org. Safety issues like playing outdoors and healthy recipes are also covered; an "icky Q&A" section also offers info on what earwax is, what to do if you swallowed a bug, and more. A separate site for teens focuses on topics for a more mature audience -- including sexual health issues, driving, and dealing with anxiety. The information found here does a good job of addressing concerns like fad diets, diabetes, and quitting smoking

Monday

ISYN Vacation Diaries, #2

I am a 30 year old single nanny. I have worked for my current family for five years and been on nine trips with them. They ask that I travel with them. In the beginning, I was nervous. I am a live-in nanny but I have a cottage on the family property so my "living in" does not create any kind of intimacy.

We recently returned from nine days in Breckenridge, Colorado. This was my ninth trip. This time we stayed in a condominium with three bedrooms. The parents had one room, the three children one room and I had my own room. I am grateful that I never had to negotiate travel accommodations because the people I work for are considerate. Because they value their privacy as much as I like mine, they choose accommodations that put some measure of space between us. This condo, although only three bedrooms, had the master unit on the third floor, the main living level on the second and the two other bedrooms/bathrooms on the first floor.  When the youngest was younger, her would invariably end up in my room or the parents room, regardless of where he started. I was okay with that, in fact I tried to steer him towards me so they could have their space.

Vacationing with a family after working for them for five years is different than say our first trip together. We know each other. I know how to make things fun for the children and the family, how to carve out time for myself and how to make sure the trip is fun for the parents.  This was my third skiing trip with the family. The first time I went on a ski trip, the youngest was only 6 months so my days were on the long side, with little downtime. This last time, I would get up with all the children in the moring and feed them breakfast. The parents would either be up, reading the paper, working out or sleeping. I would get the children ready for ski lessons and get myself ready. The youngest went to a half day ski program, so I had from 830-100 free every morning for myself. Having learned to ski with this family, I too went skiing. I took one lesson and took runs wherever I could fitting it in time wise with checking on the children and drop off and pick up.

I would pick the youngest up from his ski program and we would go to have lunch together, either out or back at the condo, depending on what he wanted. He often wanted macaroni and cheese, and while I preferred sitting at a cozy table eating a French dip sandwich, I let him choose most days. :)
As we were lunching, I would text the mother and let her know what was going on. Most days, she would be skiing herself, shopping, having a spa day with her husband. One afternoon, she and I went shopping together in town for the afternoon with the youngest. That was an example of the give and take of my job. We walked around, she bought souvenirs for the children, a painting, a jacket, etc. If she saw a store interested me, she would take her son and go ahead to the next one and say something like, "take your time, we'll be next door." That afternoon was especially mild and we sat outside and had a snack with the child who had hot chocolate. She ordered us both an alcoholic drink she had wanted to try. We people watched. I took some photos of her and her son walking and interacting. We went back to the condo and she stayed with her son (and husband, now home) and I went to get the other children. The family always had dinner out with their children, but for some exceptions. If they wanted a night away, maybe they would do that once, but usually, we always had dinner together. In the beginning I felt pressure to always go out with them. But now, the children are older and can behave without constant nanny interaction, I feel fine saying, "would you mind if I didn't go tonight?" I think having good communication is important. I would never just say that but give something more specific as "I would like to read tonight, or take a bath, or go workout".  I don't interact that much with my male employer. He is nice, but reserved. When we go out to dinner, the youngest will still need to go to the bathroom. He is a boy and so the father will always take him. As he turned four or so, that used to always make me feel bad, like it was my job to get up with the kids, every moment.

Vacations are a lot more fun now that the children can do things. Bedtime routines are easy. The children all bathe on their own. After dinner, the parents generally just read or watch movies. The children will also watch movies with their family. The youngest two like to play boardgames and always seek me out. I make sure that I give each child the option of quality time everyday. Even the oldest, who needs me less and less. I ask him if he wants to take a walk in the night and look for animal prints or anything that captures his attention. He doesn't always want to, but I know the things he likes to do.  I mention this all because I know many nannies who families start out treating well, but as soon as the family starts being nice, the nanny seems to stop fulfilling her end of the bargain. My employers are good to me because I am invested in them and have a good work ethic. They have offered things to me that I say no to. That is important. You can't say yes to everything. You have to give back.

The mother treats me as a professional that she is friendly with. I wouldn't say I am a member of the family, but I wouldn't say I am not. We don't hug. We talk about politics, religion, the children, her family, but there are things I would never say. I know her well enough to know when she is in a bad mood and she knows when I am. But, not always. I'm sure I've annoyed her. The first time we went on vacation, was another incident. I was excited to go away and we were all flying commercial. I didn't have an appropriate suitcase so I started looking online for luggage. When I moved onto their property, they helped me unload my stuff, so they saw some of my things.  I had a really ratty suitcase. I mean, it was hideous, I know. As I started to pack the children for her, I set out their suitcases and begin the process. She asked me if I had started packing. I said, "not yet" but that's all I said. She made some comment about my suitcase which was kind of funny,  and I chuckled. Then she made another comment saying that no one would ever try and steal from me because of the suitcase. That rubbed me the wrong way and I got quiet. In retrospect, it was no big deal, but then, being fairly new and all, I felt I was being mocked. I continues my job and was quiet around her, not so much because I was mad but because she had said what she said made me think she thought lowly of me.
Two days later, I ended work and she thanked me for having the kids all packed so early. She said she was neurotic about packing but saw how methodical I was and was so grateful that she hadn't taken that task off her plate. Then she said very causally, "I think I made a comment the other day about your suitcase that might have hurt your feelings. I hope you have a great weekend and get yourself ready for the trip, I think we're all going to have a lot of fun.". I smiled and parted ways. I walked to my cottage on the front porch was a Neiman Marcus box with a three piece luggage set. Beautiful, lime green and high end. I was shocked.

I'm looking back and this is long and wandering. I have had some trips that were harder than others. When the youngest was younger, I am the one that stayed and missed all the fun stuff, but I wasn't expecting anything other than that. On our last trip, I made a great album for the family of pictures of them and the children. The mother loves this because I think most of the photos of her with the children are taken by me. She is the one who takes the photographs. My employers have never gone away with or without me without buying me souvenirs. They aren't always grand, sometimes it's just a great sweatshirt. One year they pushed me to do parasailing and all stood around and watched and took pictures and cheered me on.

One tropical vacation  kept us all housebound for a day and a half. We lost power for an entire day. Everyone was miserable. The weather was such that we were supposed to stay inside. There I was entertaining the children with charades and card games and reading for hours on end. I finally went to the mother and said, "I just, I just, I j just have to get out of here." She looked at me all surprised and said, "Um, okay, what do you want me to do?" She went to the children and gave them three choices of what they could do and said, "AJ needs a break, so let's give her some quiet time, okay". She literally helped me pry off a shutter so I could get out of the house and get some air. I came back feeling like a psycho. She just looked at me with raised eyebrows and smiled curiously. I came back and started a marathon game of monopoly with the kids and gave it every bit of energy and enthusiasm I had.

This summer, she and I are taking all three children to Austria for three weeks. I'm very excited about this. Staying with a family for this long and working out the kinks is a great thing for me.  I'm pretty sure it's a great thing for her and I know that I am able to provide the children seamless care whether in their home, on vacation with them or while their parents vacation.  I don't think I would ever invest the energy and love I have invested in this family in another. When my job ends here, my nanny career ends.

If this isn't in line with what you are looking for, I understand. I could be specific about any one trip, but I think that would come off boastful.

Care to share your travel adventure with the ISYN readers? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

ISYN-Link of the Day

151 Great Mother's Day Craft Ideas
Whether you child is eager to help on Mother's Day, or sitting around feeling bored, why not put those little hands to work!  We've pulled together 151 great Mothers Day crafts projects for kids to make, organized by type of project - everything from flowers and cards to gifts for your home!
And the ideas here aren't limited to fun in the home. These crafty gifts are also perfect for teachers looking for a holiday activity the week before Mother's Day.

Negotiating


I have known several employers who have found themselves in this same situation with their confident nannies. They have all ended pretty much the same way.

Dad Makes Nanny Feel Uncomfortable...Again

So I have a slight issue and I don't really know if I should be concerned or not. A little background, I work for a single dad. He's very nice, respectful, and appreciates me a lot. I have no housework(although I do clean just to be helpful), he pays me fair, and is always on time. Sounds perfect, right? Well the problem came up when I took a week off for a cosmetic surgery. For a lack of a better phrase, I got my boobs done. They are not over the top and I do not show them off to any extent. After I got them done the dad told me that I look good. Not too bad, right? Well now he is making time in the morning to sit and chat for 15-30 minutes before he leaves for work, and again this morning my surgery came up. He told me again that I look REALLY good. I quickly changed the subject. My question is, does he just not know what to say? Is he simply trying to let me know I made a good decision? Or is he being a perv? I don't really know what to do.

Sunday

Nanny Drama: My Lessons Learned The Hard Way

by Christina Simon, Contributor, Super Mommy...Not
Many moms, including me, have had –or are having– “nanny drama.” But how many moms can say their nanny had a self-described “nervous breakdown” on the job? Unfortunately, I can.

After I had my first child, I was working full-time and planned to return to the office after a three-month maternity leave. Naively, I assumed I’d find a great daycare near my house. After touring several daycares and putting our name on the wait-lists, no spots opened up once my daughter was born. And, to complicate matters, my company asked me to come back to work a month early for a big project.

Cutting my maternity leave short meant I’d need to find a good nanny— and fast. Since I didn’t know more than one or two friends with babies, I went through a reputable nanny agency in the Valley. Looking back, I shudder at how little I knew about what I was getting myself into. If Craigs list was around, I might as well have used it to find child care.
....Click here to continue reading....

ISYN Link of the Day

Family Watchdog
Family Watchdog is a free service to help locate registered sex offenders in your area. The site can help educate your family on possible dangers in areas they visit.  The website also offers free notifications to get updates when offenders that move in/out of your area.      

CL - WTF 2013, #1 (Prepare to be disappointed)

We need your help, because we had only an handful of ads submitted to us this week. We need your help to find the most outlandish, exaggerated and downright strange childcare advertisements online. Please email isynjane@aol.com!
 
I read this and was seriously like? WTF?  What is going on here?
Respectful, honest, hard working nanny/maid LIVE-IN available ASAP

Posted all on the same day in NYC:
For real?
Nanny for 90,000 live in (5 day or 7 day) (UES)

Career Nanny for long term position - $80,000 depending on exp (West Village)

Exceptional Nanny for caring family 95,000 a year for the right person (CPS - NYC)    

Are they requesting specific ethnicities?Domestic Couple Job for man & woman Spanish Tagalog Philipino Chinese (Westchester NY)


Sorry, but I'm laughing my f*&#ng ass off.
your dream manny (Upper East Side)
well educated with 2 masters degrees under my belt and a PHD in progress
was in the national team for swimming, and water skiing .. am dolphin when it comes to water .. i can teach ur kids how to swim sail, surf , windsurf, dive ..u name it



This sounds promising:
Nannying Services from my Home (North Merrick)

What is with this dangerous trend of young nannies posting pictures of themselves and they're young children in advertisements?
Low Rate Baby Sitter/Nanny/Pet Sitter (Kent)



Saturday

ISYN-Link of the Day

Learn any of forty languages for free online. Video demonstrations, interactive games and multiple levels, including programs for children. BBC Languages for Free Online.

Double Standards

Advice for nannies & employers on I Saw Your Nanny
Hello! I live in North NJ have a BA ABA CDA teaching experience and 8 years babysitting and 3 years nannying (about 10 years all together experience with teaching laping into babysitting years). I am 24 years old which I know is young to most familys. I belong to 2 nanny agencys which find me positions only paying min wage (yet made a stink to one of them and they are so soft they couldn't handle my disputes so they disqualified me- but thats another story) So I found and joined sittercity and care.com which have been AWSOME! I found the best familys (with a pay scale that acknowledges all my experience)... or atleast most of the family are awsome. I found a few familys that I met up that were nice on the phone then completely rude to me after I told them my age... or I have made arrangements to interview them to be only stood up.... or crazy moms or just unprofessional familys. Which I think is kind of funny because if WE as nannies did this we would have a bad review written in no time and our careers would go down the drain. Therefore I called up sittercity and care.com and mentioned and suggested how come they don't have reviews for nannies to leave about the parents. They both told me it wasn't a priority but they will definitely suggest it. Is it just me or is this a double standard?

Email isynblog@gmail.com with your rant, rave, story, sighting or opinion.

Friday

Buzzkill

Cannabis and the Nanny on I Saw Your Nanny
I am a NYC Nanny who lives out. I have my own apartment and a college degree. In January of this year, I started a new job for a professional family. The interview was quite formal. I supplied letters of references, which were stellar and from impressive employers. They asked me in the first interview if I would submit to a drug test. I said yes. I was called back for a second interview. I spoke on the phone and because I am who I am said, "I just want you to know I would have no problem taking a drug test at any time, but I do smoke cannabis on occasion, and any drug test would likely show a presence." I then went on to say that I would understand if she wished not to go fourth with the second interview and offered to end the call at that point so she could think about it. This was as to not put her on the spot.

She insisted that I come for the interview and we scheduled a date and time. I attended the interview and no mention at all was made of the smoking. The closest thing that came up is, "if you're somewhere and someone comes and sits by you who is smoking, please move". That wasn't so odd, since she also made very clear I should never take her children to certain areas in the city or ever take them in to a bank. Both parents were very nice, even laughed at themselves when they spoke about the things they were sticklers about. I left the interview hoping that I would get the job, but not thinking I would because the salary and benefits were at the very high end.

I was surprised when I got the phone call. They offered me the job. They asked me if I would be amendable to looking at the first week as a trial period meaning, that if it didn't feel right, we could say so and move on and I would be paid for the week. I thought that fair and agreed.

I started at the end of January. The mother was home the entire first day. The father most of the second. Gradually, I was alone with the children. The week was quite easy for a first week and the parents were very kind to me. I say kind because they had this quality that was really unusual in employers in that they wanted to make sure I understood, but that they weren't talking down, that they wanted to trust me do just about anything with the kids, but would still always want to know where I was, that they liked the kids to go out and do things and that would mean meals out and I should always feel welcome to get whatever I wanted, that they would make sure there was food in the house, but if there wasn't they would leave money. Just, really, really nice people. I was really excited to work with them. The kids always seem wonderful the first week, but they seemed genuinely so.

The week ended, and about three pm, the mother came up to me, thanked me for everything, paid me and told me that both she and her husband, as well as the kids were excited to have me and she looked forward to me working for them and hoped I was still interested. I said I was.

So I started work that following Monday. Things went swimmingly for the first month. I got used to the routine and the kids got to know my style. I picked up on what the parents liked and didn't as well as things I could do to make their lives easier. I'm good at what I do. The next month was even better, I was in a groove. Things began to feel very comfortable for me and they invited me to join them on their Spring Break. I had a contract, so the travel pay and accommodations were pre stipulated and to my liking.

I spent the weeks prior getting things ready for the family. Shopping for supplies, labeling and packing, and of course, getting myself ready for a tropical vacation in April. I bought bathing suits and shoes and went to the tanning salon. I was excited. The family gave me a Thursday off as we were due to leave that Friday. I used the day to finish packing. They were sending a car for me to get me to the airport by 600 AM on that Friday.

On Thursday afternoon at 235PM, I got a text message that said, "I'm sorry but 'Husband' and I spoke and we won't be sending a car for you tomorrow. We're going to go just ourselves." It hurt so bad, I think I gasped. I started to say that I didn't understand and then she said quickly, "and we no longer need your nanny services. We'll mail you a severance check and recommendation:" She hung up on me. I was shocked, ashamed, sad, scared and confused. It was horrible. I texted her and she texted me back, "please don't text me."

I felt like I didn't know what to do with myself. I stayed home for the next four days in a row, depressed and not talking to anyone. On Monday an envelope arrived with his work stationary. I opened the envelope. Inside was were three checks and a letter of reference. I wish I could share this letter with you because it only adds to my confusion. It's concise and accurate and glowing. The checks were dated one from that pay period ending on that Friday we would have left, one check marked severance that was two weeks of pay rounded up and a third check for $500 and in the memo it was marked, 'travel expenses'.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I  have racked my brain trying to think what I have done wrong. So wrong that she could not even talk to me, but that they gave me the reference. I called the agency and I told her what happened and she called the family to talk to them. She spoke to the mother who said that I was "an absolute delight", "wonderful with children" but it was a 'personal issue' and she would highly recommend both me and the agency. I was more or less advised to not contact them (I told her about my text) and just let it go with the reference and everything.

The only thing I can think of is that she didn't tell her husband about the fact that I said I smoked weed and then for some reason did. I don't know why this would have come up, I was never asked to take a drug test, so ????  I've already got a new job that I am starting the beginning of May, but I am still losing sleep over this! Anyone? What am I missing?

Puzzled by something going on at your job? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

ISYN-Link of the Day

National Domestic Workers Alliance
Domestic Workers are denied basic labor rights. Though domestic workers are professionals who do real work everyday, domestic workers are excluded from many of the basic protections guaranteed by the Fair Labor Standards Act to most other workers in the United States -- things like minimum wage, overtime, sick and vacation pay. Many do not earn a living wage and work without access to health care, paid sick days or paid time off. Because of domestic workers' unique workplaces -- inside other people’s homes -- the struggles domestic workers face are largely out of the public spotlight.
The National Domestic Workers Alliance (NDWA) is changing that and working to win the protection and recognition that this essential American workforce deserves

New Polls Every Week

Check the right sidebar and participate in our weekly ISYN Polls.

Nanny Pay Across America, #1 in series


San Diego, CA.
I get $425 / week.
I work 35-40 hours usually, and get do not get overtime (time and a half) mainly due to the fact that in 1 year of employment, I've never had any overtime.
I get $0.55 per mile I drive for activities relating to the children and we have a $20 fun money pouch to use at our discretion.
If the pouch is empty or running low, I just give it to MB at the end of the day and she refills it before the start of the next work day.
I have four years if nanny experience, ten years of babysitting experience, and 2 years of infant and toddler teaching experience.
I have been with my current family for 1 year.

Northern VA about an hour from DC
I'm a live in (I have an apartment on the property) and make $800 per week for 50 hours.
I am paid Biweekly through direct deposit on the 1st and the 15th .
I'm paid on the books
I get .55 for every mile driven with my car (I try to use the family car most of the time), reimbursed for gas, OT after 50 hours, and a bank account with debit card for kid related stuff \.
I've been with this family almost 9 months, since their child was born.
I have 5 years of experience

Maryland/DC area
Today's pay: $15 per hour
Pay period: 40 hours
Method of payment: personal check, she uses a service that tells her How much to write me the check for, then I assume she sends them a check for the taxes
Taxes on the books on or off: on
Disposition of payment: personal check handed to me at the end of the week
Adjustments to pay: Nothing
Pay supplements: none length of time at current position:. 2 months
years of Nanny experience:. First "official" nanny position, but I am a certified teacher and have been in childcare for 9 years and babysitting for 15 years.

Orange County, CA
Friday's pay: $900 pay period: Tues-Friday.
Method of payment: Cash
Taxes on the books or off: On. My boss pays both my share and her share of the taxes. Her accountant handles it. Basically they gross up the $900, but I have been brining home 900 since January when I got a $50 raise.
Disposition of Payment: Envelope on bulletin board
Pay Supplement: Visa card that I use for gas with little restriction (at her insistence)
Length of time at current position: 3.4 years.
Years of nanny experience: 7

Los Angeles, CA
Friday's pay: $625
Take Home Pay period: 5 Days
Method of payment: Check
Taxes on the books or off: On the books
Disposition of payment: Envelope with my check and a piece of paper listing any changes for the schedule (if any) for the following week are left for me every Friday in my "Nanny Inbox"
Pay supplements : Yea....I wish!
Length of time at current position: 4 Years
Years of Nanny experience: 13 Years

Am I being taken advantage of?

Two weeks ago I moved from Detroit to Chicago for a nannying job, but I'm starting to worry that I'm being taken advantage of. It's a live-in job, I work 7 a.m.-7 p.m. Monday through Friday. The kids go to school from 7:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. and I am expected to clean the house, do the laundry, take care of the dog, etc. until the kids get home. Usually one of the parents is home in the afternoon with me, so I'm mainly just an extra set of hands around the house. However, the parents have made me work late both fridays because they have a dance class that goes to 11 p.m. (if this was regularly scheduled, why wasn't I informed in the original e-mail?). They also have told me I need to work both Saturdays I've been here so far, despite the fact that I'm supposed to have weekends off. This is my first nannying job, although I have experience teaching preschool and working in a daycare, as well as substitute teaching and 90+ credit hours in early childhood/elementary education. They are paying me 350/week. I thought there would be a contract when I got here, but they haven't shown me one at all. I'm nervous to approach them because I'm afraid that they will throw me out onto the street, but I'm also frustrated that they keep expecting me to work extra hours and not pay for it. My room was also COVERED in toys when I got here, to the point that I couldn't even unpack my suitcase, but I pushed to get the toys out of my room and into one of the two playrooms. Do you think I'm being taken advantage of? Or are my expectations just too high?

Thursday

How to approach taxes with new nanny family?

I will be seeking a new job in a few months and want to be "on the books". I have only nannied while in college and was seeking part time jobs and was shocked at how much aversion the families I met had to paying taxes. During one particular search I interviewed with THREE families that seemed like good fits. The first two ended the interview and said they "could not afford" to pay taxes. One tried to convince me I didn't need to pay taxes. The other reacted as if I just told them I'd have their toddler drive the family car. The third family also had an excuse but by then I was without work for so long and just so worn out that I just accepted. How many of you parents and nannies with full time arrangements pay taxes? How and when do I bring this up in a professional manner? Is there anything I should watch out for (besides being suckered into being an "independent contractor")? Thanks everyone

Bed Wetting

I needed advice about the boy I'm watching. So I watch the kids all morning and put them down for their afternoon nap. One of the kids is a barely three year old boy and has been potty trained for about 3 months. I still have him napping at least 2 hours, usually more. He insists on not wearing a diaper for nap (despite wearing pull ups at night). So one day in February I gave in, and he stayed dry so we tried again, and this continued dryly for a few weeks. Now for about a month or so, he's been wetting the bed 3/4 times out of 5. I've limited water with lunch and force bathroom breaks before nap. I can't ask the parents because he doesn't nap with them on weekends and they'll suggest a diaper. I've stared to notice a pattern, I'll peek in his room and he'll be starting to wake up (dry) so I go attend to the others and come back within 10 minutes and he'll be wet. I have a feeling this is simply his laziness in that he's awake but chooses not get up. He is only ever wet on the top of his jeans. I hate to say that because I don't want to hurt his feelings but he is getting his sheets washed daily and quite frankly, I'm sick of it. I know I could go in and force him to get up but on some occasions, he tosses and turns mid nap and goes back down. He sleeps in a toddler bed, I leave his door cracked, bathroom light on across the hall, I sit right at the bottom of the stairs. He goes to the bathroom by himself when awake, he is usually extremely responsible. I've only had one awake accident including while he trained. It's getting frustrated to be greeted by "I had a accident." And then spend 20 minutes fixing the bed and getting him dressed. The whole time he says accidents happen, it's okay. For a long time, I said the same thing which is what mom and dad tell him (accidents have been more frequent with them). Now I've started to say "Accidents happen but we really need to practice getting up and going potty if we are awake in bed." ...to which he usually cries (I think more because he's just woken up and I of course say it in the same soothing tone) and I feel bad because I don't want to discourage his usually great potty behavior, but I think it's important for him to distinguish between accidents and preventable accidents. He is such a smart little guy, and I know he can do this (since he has before) and I don't want to go back to diapers and erase our progress. So I'm torn. Do you guys have any advice how I can help him move past this? How I can not discipline him for his laziness but still confront it? I know there's no other reason for it. He isn't having any changes at home, definitely no fears or abuse of any sort. He doesn't go to school or anything so I know he's not being picked on or anything.

Nanny Pay Across America-Preview


IOWA
I get $325 / week.
 I work 38 hours usually, and get overtime (time and a half) for working anything over 40 hours.
I am handed a check every Friday morning.
Most nannies would consider me "off the books;" however, I pay my own taxes.
I get $0.35 per mile I drive for activities relating to the children and $10 every other other week for "supplies." I have six years of nanny experience, two years of daycare experience, and have served my current family two years.

Clifton NJ
I work 2 part time jobs job
1) drive a 4 and 6 year old to school (get them ready etc)
2nd job walk a dog throw in a load of laundry occasional food shopping and then come back and pick up twin 14 year old girls and drive them to the YMCA
Today's pay:
family 1) salary 100 a week (25 for gas)= 125 a week for the hours 7-830 Mon-Fri
family 2) 225 (25 for gas) =250 a week a week for a half an hour each day (430-5)
Pay period:
Every Friday Method of payment: cash check other:
family 1 cash
family 2 whatever is easier mostly cash
Taxes on the books or off: off
Disposition of payment:
family 1) handed to me
family 2) on kitchen table
Adjustments to pay:
family 1) anything over the agreed upon hours 10 an hour
2nd family) i go out of my way because they pay me 50 dollars for like 15-45 mins of work.

This series will officially start tomorrow, Friday, April 26 and recur each Friday. Please send your information to isynjane@aol.com.

Wednesday

CL-WTF!!!


WANTED:
Childcare Mon-Fri
Hello there. My name is Jasmine I am going to school from 10-2 and I need a Babysitter to come into my home. It is not a for sure thing, but my sister might be leaving her 2 kids here as well so some days you might only have my daughter 10 months and other days you will have all 3 including a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
No allergies and in the Edgebrook area.
 REQUIERMENTS
- You will need to bring me references.
- atleast 1 year experience with multiple children.
- must also do Some housekeeping. Usuallu includes the kitchen *washing dishes *scrubbing stove *sweeping and moping I live in a one bedroom apartment so the kitchen is very small.
IF HIRED I WILL NEED
A copy of your ID and SSN card.
 I will need your license plate # and VIN #
Your phone number and your street address with a bill in your name.
This is all precaution. This information will NEVER leave my person. This is just incase something happens to my daughter and nephews.
I will need you here by 9:30am. I will be here by 2:30pm. I will also need you to stay an extra hour or 2 so we can go to the gym I will provide all food and snacks for the kids. I will pay you on an hourly basis depending on how many kids you had on a certain day. I would also like for you to be available on the weekends not every weekend but maybe 2 out of the month. This would only include my daughter, who will be asleep most of the time. That will also be on an hourly basis.
Please email me your resume.

If you would like to share your bizarre finds with us from Craigs List, Sitter City, Care.Com or any other source, please email isynjane@aol.com.  Please include the link and/or a screenshot. Craigs List WTF will return in full this Sunday.

In the News

Kardashian Nanny Says Kris Jenner Used to Make Her Cry
I don't know what took her so long, but a former nanny for the Kardashians has finally broken her silence. Pam Behan worked for the family for five years and was entrusted with the care of Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, and Rob and reported to boss lady and mom in charge, Kris.
In an interview with Celeb Dirty Laundry, Pam reveals that Kris was a raging perfectionist who sometimes made her staff cry.

Giving Grandma the babysitting brush-off
Grandma's vying to replace your nanny. How do you politely decline?
"Things have really changed a lot in 25 to 30 years," says Brown Braun. "The way young parents want to (raise their kids) is often very different — letting them cry or not letting them cry, putting them down to sleep on their backs or their tummies, giving them candy or not giving them candy." When those new parents have handpicked the nanny — and pay him or her — they find it easier to spell out the house rules.

Quick Tips: Child care costs and hiring a nanny
Child care can be expensive and is often the second highest monthly expense for families behind rent or a mortgage.
Nanny wages vary across the country and depend on experience levels and whether you provide housing. According to the 2012 INA Nanny Salary and Benefits Survey:
• The national average hourly rate for babysitting or short-term assignments is $16 an hour.
• The national average gross weekly salary for full time live-out nannies is $705

Supply, Demand High for Nannies from Utah
One stereotype that seems to hold true, however, is that employers prefer to hire nannies from Utah. Sampson said this is because they assume the women in Utah have child care experience from growing up in large families, and are less likely to be partiers or bring home overnight guests.

Parents: Do you pay the nanny tax?
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) requires that anyone who pays a household employee—whether it’s a gardener or a house cleaner—more than $1,800 cover taxes for that person. Yes, that means parents who hire a nanny to care for their kids full- or part-time are required to withhold Social Security and Medicare. Additional unemployment and state taxes also apply. Generally, the total amount comes out to be about 10 percent of the employee’s salary.
So, do most people pay what’s known as the nanny tax....

Chicago Teen Presents Babysitting App at White House Science Fair
Shaquiesha Davis was one of 100 students who presented a science project at the White House Science Fair. Davis, who attends Chicago Tech Academy, created an iPhone app, Baby B 4 Me, during an entrepreneurship class. The app helps parents keep track of their children while the kids are with a babysitter or nanny. It works like this: Parents create a schedule, and the babysitter checks the activity off as it's completed.

Police Identify Man who Threatened Babysitter with a Bomb
The man arrested after authorities say he threatened his babysitter Monday afternoon with a bomb has been identified as Javier Payan of Watauga, police said Tuesday. The babysitter, who was not identified, was also in custody Tuesday with injury-to-a-child charges pending, police said.

Marina Boy Found Wandering Alone; Babysitter Arrested
A two-year-old boy was found walking alone on the 3100 block of Crescent Avenue in Marina on Tuesday morning.There were no parents or any other adult around when Christopher was found wandering at 9:15 a.m., Marina police Cmdr. Bob Nolan said. The young boy was not hurt.  Soon after alerting the media and public, Christopher's babysitter came forward to retrieve the toddler, Sgt. Scott Clegg said.

Babysitter Charged With Killing 2-year-old Won't Face Death Penalty
Prosecutors will not seek the death penalty against a northern Idaho woman charged with killing a 2-year-old girl she was babysitting.

Babysitter Charged in Prairie City Dog Attack Death
A Prairie City girl has died as the result of injuries sustained in a dog attack. The woman responsible for her care — and an owner of the dog — has been charged in connection with the child’s death.

Oskaloosa Babysitter Charged With Murder
Twenty-four year-old Bryan Vilcone from Oskaloosa is sitting in the Mahaska County Jail, charged with first degree murder.


Read more here: http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/04/23/4797168/police-identify-man-who-threatened.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/04/23/4797168/police-identify-man-who-threatened.html#storylink=cpy
Nanny tells family dead baby only napping
Irish illegal in U.S. accused of slamming infant on table ....

Police: Muncie babysitter used two children to assist in shoplifting ...
A Muncie woman was arrested over the weekend after police said she used two children she was babysitting to assist in shoplifting panties from the mall.

Nanny Pay Across America

Would you like to include your details in our Friday Salary Feature?
Please email isynblog@gmail.com or message us on FB. 
These are the details that we would like:
Today's pay:
Pay period: (i.e. 40 hours, 3 days, 2 weeks, 5 10 hours days...)
Method of payment: cash check other:
Taxes on the books or off:
Disposition of payment: (i.e. direct deposit, envelope of cash in the teapot, personal check handed to me at end of day)
Adjustments to pay:
Pay supplements ( i.e. insurance, 501K, employer pays taxes, gym memberships, bonus, tip)
your location:
length of time at current position:
years of Nanny experience:

The Good Wife

Hoping for some sound guidance from parents and nannies.

We are on our second nanny. Our first nanny was nearly flawless. She had a sound work ethic, took great care of the kids and was great at communicating directly. An example of direct communication is, "I would love to get off two hours early one afternoon a week, I can stay late another night or come earlier that day so you and your wife can go to the gym, etc". We made sure one of us was home by 4 on Monday. Sometimes we couldn't be, other times, we could be home even earlier This is not by much, but a couple of 2PMS were thrown in. Our second nanny is just never going to compare to our first nanny. I get that. My wife, however, continues to extend the kindnesses to the new nanny that she did to the first nanny. This would be great, except the new nanny hasn't earned it, and she seems to be a taker with an eye on what she can get. She has also rubbed me the wrong way by complaining to my wife about the cost of a summer camp for her daughter. She makes comments like, "I wish I could do something like that for my daughter". It's like she is a perpetual victim but only as it comes to eliciting financial favor from my well intentioned wife. I think she has already gone down the wrong path with this new nanny of four months. The new nanny will ask to leave early on a Friday, but offer no concessions or reasons. She's also borrowed against her pay already. The nanny came highly recommended and makes a very competitive pay. I don't want to come off as uncaring or sinister, but I think we are seeing a lot of red flags and the only one who can right this course is my lovely wife. Your advice?

What to do with a bored baby?

Hey nannies!
 I hope you're enjoying the blog being up and running as much as I am! I just have a couple questions having to do with utter boredom.

I'm a 24 year old nanny to an 11 month old boy, Jay. We are from Raleigh NC and we used to be a very active pair.

On Monday's we went to baby storytime, Tuesday's was gymboree (0-6mos), Wednesday's was baby storytime again, Thursdays were empty then Friday's we went to gymboree for family day (kids of all ages). Well they stopped storytime at the library for spring. Obviously Jay aged out of his gymboree class and the only one for his age are on Saturdays. We used to hang out with moms from the gymboree class but they have all found jobs. There is a really nice park with a train and carousel near by but since he can't walk we do the train, ride the mary-go-round and the swings. There's equipment that I let him pull up on if there are no children on it but it is meant for older ones. I let him crawl on the ground but then we've exhausted the park of all its resources to keep an 11 month old content. We go to the kids museum but it doesn't seem like much fun for him if his gymboree buddies aren't there. After a while of me showing him all the toys and trying to keep him happy he just wonders around the only 2 toddler areas then gets whiney. It's a real hassle to go since it's in the city with parking garages, not so convenient. I take him to the malls to play at the play places but they are so germy and seem like the kids there are sometimes as old as 10! He loves it so I take him but it makes me, and the other parents, nervous.

We do things at home, too. We fill up the baby pool when it gets warm enough and splash around. We also go for walks. I also take pureed baby food, dump it out on his highchair tray and let him ooze around and "paint". He is just so much better when we're out now that he's teething because it distracts him. I can even take him to lunch with my Mom and he's good as gold! I do have friends that have kids and I've tried to set up play dates but they're babies are either 5 months or 2 years old.
What do you come up with when you feel like you've worn out your options? Even today I have nothing planned and it is killing me because I know he's bored. We've read every book. Now I'm tearing google apart trying to find something for him to do. Right now he's pulled himself up on the screen door looking back at me like he wants to go somewhere. Guess we should just start driving and hope we see something! I do take him to Wal-Mart, Target, Petsmart, and Sam's Club just to get him out but those aren't places where he can crawl around and have fun.
 Please help! Thank you!

Tuesday

Barnes & Noble on Post Road in Milford, CT


Bad Nanny sighting at Barnes & Noble in Milford, CT
To the auburn haired nymphomaniac with the sweet blue eyed girl at Barnes & Noble in Milford, CT,

I don't know if you're a nanny, but I think you are. It's hard to tell, well, cuz your right & so the little kid. I sensed no connection or affection between the two of you so I figured you had to be a nanny or an evil stepmother. They're basically the same, aren't they?

Well, I just wanted to tell you a couple of things. Little kids like to recognized. When they ask you to look at them spin in a circle, watch them. I mean, especially if you've taken them into a store and ignored them for the better part of an hour. You do know some nannies (but probably not evil stepmother do take their children to story hour here. It's on Thursdays at ten). A three year old in the bookstore is going to gravitate towards other kids and the children's area. But you specifically forbade her from going in that area. It was off your path. No, you walked around the store looking at books of sexual positions, astrology and Jack Kerouac. Well, mostly you walked around so you could be seen walking around in your jeggings and four inch stiletto boots. Maybe that's why you were so mean to the little girl? Because every time you had to go after her (usually five minutes longer than she should have been allowed to roam) you ran and looked ridiculous as you did. I know you noticed this as you constantly sought out your own reflection everywhere.

If you have to take a child to the book store,
I wouldn't:
1) ban child from children's area
2) refuse to watch her when she finally finds a way to amuse herself at your feet
3) screech at a child for asking you to read her a book
4) dress like a mall cosmetologist on the prowl, in fact, be on the prowl
5) LOUDLY TAKE A PHONE CALL FROM 'CLINT' AND PLAN WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO MEET HIM SO HE CAN BRING YOU SOME SCREENS. Boast that you have good stuff but no way to smoke it.

You're just wrong. All wrong.
"Adult": Between 5'7" & 5"9", white, slim, super tight jean leggings, black turtle neck out of a thin fabric, black boots with skinny heel and two side buckles, auburn hair worn straight and shoulder length with bangs.
Child: Female, white, dark brown hair, purple dress with one large white flower on the front of it, wore pink, glittery tennis shoes, 3-3.5 yrs. old.

Report bad nannies on I Saw Your Nanny by emailing isynblog@gmail.com. Always confidential. 
For news on Milford, CT, check out Milford Patch.

Feeling Lost and Undervalued

I have been a nanny for almost two years for one family. I am super close to the children. I know I do a great job and that my employers are happy with me. My problem is that my first year I worked for them I got a $1,000 cash bonus at the Holidays. That was great and made me feel very special. This past Christmas, I had two extra weeks off because they went away for an extended trip. They also wrote me a card saying how great I was and to enjoy this gift of time and that when they got their taxes back, they would award me my bonus. It's April 23 and this has never come up. Part of my feels that they thought about the time off and decided 'that was enough'. But, if they think they can just do this to me, given the way I care for the entire family, I don't think I can go on here. I don't think it should be up to me to bring up either.

Nuggets of Wisdom

What are some of the best lessons you've learned as a nanny? We're looking for the kind of lessons that you likely wouldn't have learned if not for your time spent as a nanny. Some people said they've even learned important lessons here on ISYN, possibly even from you. Share your suggestions at isynjane@aol.com

 .

Monday

The Right Amount of Helpful

Advice on I Saw Your Nanny
I am not a nanny. I am a baby nurse. I am an LPN who had worked in a nursing home before getting hired by this agency where I get temp gigs working as a baby nurse, live -in, often 24 hours a day. I never had the desire to care for other people's children, but as a gig, it's pretty good. I highly recommend because the pay is top notch. I work with some families who treat me like a queen and others who treat me like a nanny. Neither, very bad. My inexperience with private families is what is confusing me. I am three days in to a new assignment (hold location) for a newborn. The mother is a stay at home mother, the father a financial person who grew up with nannies. My problem is the mother. She is younger than I am and from Texas. She has a different mentality and wants very much- well basically to do what I am doing for her child. Her husband has her feeling like she is incompetent. She asks me, "would it be okay if I gave the ten pm bottle?", "would you mind if did the bath?". It's not a money thing. She took the baby out with her to run errands for some car time, drive in dry cleaners and bank. When her husband came home, he started yelling at her for that, telling her she is exposing the child to danger and germs and etc and etc and etc. She had tears in her eyes. The father is out of the home from about 6 until 6 or 7 most nights. What I want to tell her is this, "I've been doing this ten months, I like doing it, I can do everything for your baby, every day or I can do only those things that you ask me to, he's your baby, you tell me how you want to do this and that is how OUR days will go". But my question is, am I saying too much? She knows I have picked up on stuff. I feel really odd because the biology of the situation is that everything I do would be better if it was being done bone the person who carried him in her womb for nine months. Of course, if I say that, I don't want to be like I am trying to guilt her in to doing my job. I really will do as much as she needs. Night times are busy for me because it becomes about the husband and his peace. I think she spends less time with her son in the evening because if he is fussy, she feels bad, as if it wouldn't happen with me. Do I say anything? Do anything? I am booked on this job "thru July, maybe longer." One other thing is that I do take one day off after 7 or two after ten and the father has told me not to discuss that with his wife, that he will inform her of my first break when he knows the name of 'my replacement'.

Dealing with a difficult scenario? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

McDonalds in New Rochelle, NY



This Nanny Sighting Happened today, 4/22 at the McDonalds in New Rochelle, NY. I was sitting at a table waiting for a friend an a large African nanny walked in with two boys, who were probably twins. They seemed same age, dressed the same. They were not biological and one of the boys was named Jackson. The nanny ordered food and sat down. She caught my attention because she was so rough with the boys. She was so large that when she walked, she snorted. She tore into the bag, right away, stuffing a fistful of fries in her mouth. Big mistake for Jackson. He reached for a fry and she brought her massive hand down on his and smacked it down.  She said something like, "no grabbing, what you think this is?"
The other boy asked for some French fries. She gave him some on a napkin and said, "yes, you may, because you asked and you did not grab".
Jackson sat there watching his brother (?) and nanny (?) eat fries. The nanny takes out chicken nuggets and a burger. Shoves a nugget in her mouth and smashes the burger down. She asks the other boy, "would you like a chicken nugget"
He says, "yes, please"
Jackson said, "I too, please would want a chicken nugget"
She says, "I'll ask you when it's time".
Now she sees me looking at her. She looks away from me and then talks sweetly to both kids, "One of the things your parents want you to learn is manners and it's my job to teach you".
Then she jams 1/4 of the burger in her face, follows it up with a drink of what looked like a soda and a long slurp of shake.  I mention the food etiquette, because this person was so repulsive, she shouldn't be schooling people on manners. Everything about her was unmannerly. Now, it's ten minutes and Jackson still doesn't have anything in front of him. Finally, the nanny says, "Jackson, are you ready for some French fries"
Jackson says, "yes, please" and she dispenses 4 or five fries to his napkin.
Meanwhile, she's got the chicken nuggets, burger, shake and other drink in front of her.

I'm a mother and here are my problems. I take my children to McDonalds, in a pinch. Even the "good" child was only allotted a miniscule amount of an XL fries. What is going on here? If the nanny wants to indulge her eating habits, I don't think it should be at the children's expense. I hope you don't think it was not a big deal to be so deliberatelycruel to a child. These boys were probably three years old. Jackson had on a brown hat with a bright yellow dump truck on it. The other twin had a NY Mets baseball cap. Both boys were white with sandy hair. The nanny wore a pink ribbed shirt and had on a gold headband that fairly prominent. I hope this gives you enough information to look in to the way your nanny (?) treats your children.

Vacation Diaries #1

I was so excited to go on my first nanny vacation. I had only been with the family for three months when they spoke of their Spring Break Plans. I'm going to keep some things vague to protect the innocent, that being the kids.

Wait, let me back up. I don't have a nanny contract. I care for two children who are not quite school aged and one who is. Let's call the young children A and B and the older child C. The woman I work for is always working but I don't know that she makes money (or needs to). She is always on the go, has an office and apartment in NYC. The father works in Greenwich and NYC. We reside in CT. I am a live-in nanny. I live in what would be considered a basement, although on the back and sides, it is full length open, with lots of windows. The basement houses me and the housekeeper. The housekeeper is an older woman who has been with them over ten years. I mention this because my accommodations are nice. I didn't expect them to be, but they are. My nanny vehicle is nice. So when my employer told me about the trip to "Exotica", I jumped at the chance. I showed my excitement.
She said things like, "frozen drinks on the beach" and "there's a camp program for the kids they can go to all day, half day, either, or" and "the hotel has sitters for night, so if you want some down time, we will just got a hotel sitter".

We end up flying on a commercial airline. I end up sitting, I kid you not, in the very last seat of coach, right in front of the bathroom. This did not bother me though as I had plenty of room and no kids. My ticket was not bought at the same time as the family's, so this is why I am not with them. The family is in first class. From my seat, I can hear crying and whining. It does not stop. It's them all the way in first class. A fuming male employer stomps back and brings me both A & B. And with attitude, like I have done something. Right away, it makes me feel like crap. Of course, now it's just me and my stuff and no kid stuff, so I have to walk all the way back up there to get one of their kid's backpack.  The stewardess stops me and tells me, "Oh no!" as if. I collect a backpack and slink back to the back where I am able to entertain and delight the kids for the next three hours. I change diapers. Only thing I can't do is pee. I have to urinate badly. Pretty soon,we're landing.

From the back of the plane, we are of course the last to get off. I land in a foreign country with A & B. You would think the parents would have waited for me. They are nowhere to be seen. It takes me ten real minutes to find them. When I finally do, they look exasperated. (They had one older, well behaved child between the two of them? Oh please!). I start to say I need to go to the bathroom, they hurry me here and there and then through customs. Next we are in some crazy van driving dangerous roads at mach speed. I have to pee so badly. I have one child on my lap and one cuddled up in my side. The children start talking about the pool and the beach. We get to the hotel and as check in is still going on, the misses, instructs me to take the kids down to the beach.  I have done the packing so I know that there is one bag with swimsuits, swimmies, sunblock, etc. I ask for it. She rolls her eyes at me.

I take all three kids to a bathroom by the pool and get them changed and get sun block on. They are trying to get away. My swimsuit is in my bag. I don't know where that is. So I am wearing heavy poplin capris, a tank top, a sweatshirt, running socks and shoes. I figure, I can do this and try to take them to swim, but we don't have what we need yet for the pool, so I drag all three kids and this huge bag down to the beach. Once we hit the sand, each kid runs a different direction. I spent the next two hours chasing children on the beach. I never had time to even put sunblock on myself. I went in the ocean in socks and tennis shoes.

When the Misses finally comes for me, she is dressed in a sexy black bikini, with kicki heels she carries in her hand, a stack of books, a massive sunhat and a confused expression. She says, "I was so jealous knowing you were out here. Lucky you, I got the kids unpacked for you". I ask if I can go put my suit on. She looks at me annoyed and says, "well take one of them with you". As I walk off to find the room she has told me to go to, I see her ordering up a chaise and a drink.

In the room, the Mister tells me that there are two rooms, one for the kids and one for them. He tells me my bag is in the kids room on the ROLLAWAY. I quickly get dressed, spray my whole head and body with sunblock and literally run back to the beach. I am dying of thirst. The first thing she says to me is, "Did you bring some juices for the kids". I look at her confused. "WHATTTT??" I want to scream, but I don't. I instead go play in the water and build sand castles for three more hours. I handle every bathroom break, every reapplication of sunblock and every commissary request.  The kids and I drink pineapple juice all afternoon.

At five, we head back to the room. I am burning and covered in sand. So, are the children. She tells me that the kids all need baths. That's it, and walks away. We have our own bathroom in our room, so I bathe the kids one at a time, while entertaining them all in the bathroom for the next hour. Im starving. I'm tired. I'm wet. I bring all three kids out to the living area completely dressed. Mom and Dad are also dressed. They look at me and the Missus says with a laugh, "I know it's casual, but you'll want to dress for dinner". Huh? So literally have to ask her to watch the children while I shower. I am as quick as I can and come out dressed in a skirt and shirt and sandals. 

Next question for me is, "do you want the stroller?" I must have just looked confused every minute. What for? Well, I am taking all three kids for an early dinner myself. I take the stroller and the kids. I shove their food in my mouth. I grow bitter. The process including the walk takes an hour and a half. When I get back, there is a NOTE for me, it reads, "went for a walk before dinner, if you want to go out tonight, call the main desk and get a sitter to come and stay with the kids. PS. Don't leave until the kids are asleep".

What?

So this was my next eight days. For one minor thing and that is, when I took the kids to breakfast, lunch and dinner or to swim at the pool, I ordered drinks. I ordered food. I ordered appetizers. Mostly, I ordered food to indulge and prevent myself from being drunk, but I drank 24/7 those next days and managed to have an okay time. The parents were complete assholes to me, who sometimes seemed to act like they didn't know me or us! They dined alone, they went out alone. They went to the beach alone, they rented a boat alone. She went to the spa three days, he went deep sea fishing. I resigned myself to have a good time.

I made lots of friends from other Americans with, but mostly without nannies. They all seemed to be in awe of me. Seriously. I got home on a Monday. I still hadn't been paid for last Friday. So, when my boss does pay me that Monday, he says, in a joking way, "and we paid for everything, so your check is in tact". What??? I worked 24/7 for 8 days! I was so exhausted. And they expected me the next morning at 715!  Bitterness overcame and I lasted only three weeks after that vacation. I would never go on a family vacation again without specific plans and a very specific pay rate! I was totally duped. And that whole eight days, all three kids and I slept in one bed, so much for ever going out, because the kids were very needy and wouldn't go to sleep on time or stay asleep. One night I got a sitter, but she seemed harsh and I couldn't leave her with the kids in good faith.

Share your travel or vacation story with I Saw Your Nanny. Email isynblog@gmail.com.

Sunday

Nannies in the News

A 22-year-old Maywood woman admitted she and her boyfriend beat her 1-year-old son with a belt and plastic hangers and left him to die on their bathroom floor, prosecutors said in court Saturday.The couple then disposed of the child's lifeless body in a backpack before devising an elaborate cover-up which included pretending that the child had been abducted, prosecutors alleged in court.
Read more.


The Irish nanny accused of fatally beating a 1-year-old was ordered held without bail Thursday, as her lawyer continued to declare her innocence.In a tearful voice, Aisling ­McCarthy Brady pleaded  not guilty to charges of first-degree murder at her arraignment in Middlesex ­Superior Court. She was visibly distraught.Brady, 34, had been in jail on $500,000 bail since January, when she was charged with assaulting Rehma Sabir in the child’s ­Cambridge home. Rehma died two days later, on Jan. 16.
Read more


The lawyer for a nanny charged in the 2011 death of a Richland toddler said Friday he's concerned about the safety of his client and jurors after hearing members of an advocacy group may be attending the upcoming trial. Jury selection is set to begin Monday in the Benton County Superior Court case of Kelli A. Jacobsen.
Read more

A 28-year-old woman accused of stealing $45,265 from a North Fair Oaks family she once worked for accepted a plea deal Wednesday that will put her behind bars for 16 months, according to the San Mateo County District Attorney's Office. Redwood City resident Sandy Delgado, the family's nanny and housekeeper since 2009, forged 95 checks over several years starting in 2009, according to the prosecutor's office.
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Fallon Moore, 19, sports a tattoo of three shooting stars on her right foot - her forever tribute to Amara, Sophie and Cecilia Schaffhausen."I like to think of it as they walk with me wherever they go, all the experiences they didn't get to have. They can still be with me," the University of Wisconsin River Falls student said. Moore babysat the Schaffhausen sisters for five years, and is speaking out for the first time since their father, Aaron Schaffhausen, killed his three young daughters last July.
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Coming to Theatres:
In, Mental, writer-director P.J. Hogan creates an outrĂ©, hyperreal satire around Collette’s heroine, Shaz, as she moves in on a clueless family and takes over. Barry (Anthony LaPaglia), the patriarch, is an absent dad and philandering mayor of a coastal town. His desperate wife, Shirley (Rebecca Gibney), is in a mental hospital after recent manic episodes, including one in which she enacted her “Sound of Music” fantasies on a suburban street. That leaves the broken couple’s five young daughters unattended, which Barry fixes by turning a knife-wielding stranger — Shaz — into a live-in nanny.
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Have you read something nanny or childcare related that you would like to share? Email isynjane@aol.com

Touchy, Feely Father

Hi,
I enjoyed the last post and my situation is similar in that, the most important thing to me is keeping my job. I would consider myself on the shy side. I am appropriately affectionate with the children I nanny for but not overly so with adults. The children's father is very touchy feely. If I am standing in front of him in the kitchen, he puts both hands on my shoulders. He touches my back, my shoulder, my forearm. It's not sexual. At least I think it's not sexual. Mostly, it's just uncomfortable. I don't know how he behaves with others but I do know that he touches his wife the same way, especially the from behind, both hands on each shoulder. He's not perverted or seedy, I'm just, well, like I said, uncomfortable. Do I grin and bear it?

A Word & Future Features

So there have been so long breaks and unexplained absences. There has been some spam, some shit talking and some blog bashing. We were kind of back, but now we're really back.  If you want to read the blog, read the blog. If not, don't. If you've been around forever and still check in, we owe you our lives!

Weekly Contest:
Nanny with best resume gets her resume posted on a ISYN.
(submissions will be posted on a weekly basis subject to quality of resumes)

My Nanny Cost Me:
I received a submission from a woman with a wild tale of how her summer nanny ended up costing her family over a hundred thousand dollars. She suggested, surely other people's nanny's have gotten them in financial hot water? How, you may ask? Stay tuned. If it happened to you, send in your story.

Don't Work For:
A black list of employers to be avoided and why.

Odd requirements:
Some nannies have to do the strangest things as part of their daily and weekly routines. Anything that's been requested of you that you care to share? This would be something you comply with and why.

The one that got away:
The nanny/employer relationship is very personal and at some point conflict will arise. Employers and employees have shared with us some of the concessions they wish they would have made or positions they regret not having stayed with. What about you? Have a story?

Payday:
An ongoing Friday feature that will feature nanny salaries across the country. This is the form for submission:
Today's pay:
Pay period: (i.e. 40 hours, 3 days, 2 weeks, 5 10 hours days...)
Method of payment: cash check other:
Taxes on the books or off:
Disposition of payment: (i.e. direct deposit, envelope of cash in the teapot, personal check handed to me at end of day)
Adjustments to pay: (raise started this week, docked for being late, includes 3 hours of overtime @ 20 per hour, reimbursed for $74 gas)
Pay supplements ( i.e. insurance, 501K, employer pays taxes, gym memberships, bonus, tip)

Look what we made:
A photo of a project, craft or confection your charge or child and you have made together, along with the instructions for readers.

Vacation:
Once a week, we will print a story submitted by a nanny or employer of their nanny/family vacation.
Look for our first story on Monday!

My Nanny and I:
Once of our contributors is actively gathering stories from adults who were raised by nannies. We even have a submission from a teen who has had the same nanny since birth.

Child Quotations:
Submit your favorite children's or childcare applicable quote for publication.

Do you not see anything you like?
Give us some ideas. Emails should be sent to isynjane@aol.com.
When submitting your sighting, story or post, please indicate if you would like credit and link back to your blog and include the correct URLs.

Saturday

What's my obligation here?

Hi, Long time reader, first time poster here.

      I have been a nanny for four years but out of work for three months before I got hired here eight weeks ago. I finally found a job worth getting out of bed for. I make the kind of pay you upper east side bitches want to pretend that upper west side ladies aren't paying out. I don't know how I could legally make as much money as I'm making. Are you getting that I don't just want any advice but the kind of advice that is going to help me keep my job?

    So the DC I care for are under five. The father is older and has older children from a previous marriage. He is pleasant, but aloof, and keeps long hours. Boss Lady is close to my age, runway gorgeous and down to earth. She is a stay at home Mom, but very busy and an entrepreneur. The older children are all over 18, so they come by from time to time because they all go to school in the city. One of the kids, the middle child, comes over often. I know sometimes one or two of the adult kids will stay for the weekend. They have rooms for this and both parents and the children I nanny for seem happy to see the kids.

     The problem is this older sibling. He pops in all the time. Sometimes he pops in between classes and because of the ages of the DC, we are often home. He always pops in and plays with the kids a bit. He's not unpleasant. But, he does always eat here. He loves to come and make sandwiches. And he doesn't clean up after himself. It's bad. He leaves a mess everywhere he goes. It's not my job to clean up after anyone but myself and the children when I make lunch for them. I started cleaning up after this kid because I didn't want to leave the messes for my employers. And of course, there is downtime in the day and I have the time to clean it up, especially since the kitchen is the central part of the house, and seeing his mess would be unavoidable. I haven't been here that long but he is starting to bug me. One of the reasons I clean up after him is that I don't want the parents to think that the mess was left by someone else. Now, the mother knows he comes by (but I don't think how often). She has cleaned up after his messes. I have noticed that he also takes food with him when he leaves. I don't understand why because cant believe he lives like a regular college student.
    Sometimes he will take things like fresh jellies, cupcakes, bread. Other times he will take mustards, meats, even frozen steaks. He takes coffee because they have a specialty coffee system. I love the coffee machine. But I feel like if he's sneaking off with ten cartridges in his duffel, then I can't have two cups in a day. I want the parents to know that it isn't me eating all of this food. Some of the stuff he takes isn't even food, it's like laundry soap or Clorox wipes or ski goggles. I would rather clean up after him if I could just out this kid for all the food he is eating. I work a nine hour day and I am afraid to eat any food because what if they think all that is gone is food I have eaten? I've even seen him grab subway tokens and a ten dollar bill from the jar where my boss leaves petty cash. That's another thing, she told me when she hired me that she would always make sure there was plenty of cash in this particular jar and I should "just try to get receipts when possible". I make sure it is possible. I always get receipts, but what if they think money is missing? I feel I'm damned if I do say something and damned if I don't. There are lots of times I am out with the kids, so what worries me even more is what he takes when I am not there!
Tricky Situation? Email isynblog@gmail.com and get the advice you need.

Wednesday

Dobbs Ferry River Park in Dobbs Ferry, NY

I am visiting the area and noticed what I think was an act of negligence by a nanny in Dobbs Ferry, NY. The nanny was a vastly overweight, black or bi racial individual wearing a red pant suit. The red pant suit was seventies style and the top had a very abstract pattern on it and she had a scarf with another pattern, so you will know this nanny if you know her because she is obviously very into fashion. She has cinnamon brown hair in ringlets curls about shoulder length and she wore full makeup and kitten heels. She was taking care of a white boy who was very fair, so fair his hair blends in to his skin and big brown eyes. He was wearing little levis jeans and nike tennis shoes white with a red swoosh. He had on a blue sweater. The nanny was on her phone sitting and the boy was walking around with a sparkly blue rubber ball. I thought he was too far from her. He would bring the ball to her and she would throw it to him, as far as he could. She never even said a word to him. She was busy with her phone, looking off in to the distance and treating your child like a dog. This went on the whole time I was there. She never interacted with him but to snatch the ball from him and tell him, "go far, go far" and send him running off away from her. There is WATER here. The disregard and disinterest she showed in your boy was really upsetting. Oh, the boy was between two and three years old.

Special Bond.... or....

Okay, here's the 411. I live in Larchmont, NY. I was a nanny about ten years ago. I get it. In my current profession, I see a nanny/Au Pair and her twelve year old charge on a multi weekly basis. This nanny/au pair joined the family two months ago. The family has the twelve year old boy and an older sibling whom I don't think the au pair really deals with. This boy is nice enough and the au pair is nice enough. In the capacity I see the two, they are sometimes waiting. When waiting, the twelve year old boy will hug the au pair. This puts his head right so his cheek is on her chest. The parents aren't around during this, but other adults are, so it's not secretive or anything. I just think it's weird. The kid is normal, he's not like special needs or anything. -Something doesn't feel right

Tuesday

The 96th street and 5th Ave Playground in NYC

Sorry, I sent this to the wrong place! On Friday, I saw a really bad nanny at the playground. If your son is named Don/Dan (couldnt really understand him) and has a nanny named Debbie, who takes him to the 96th Street and 5th Ave playground regularly, she is a HORRIBLE nanny! She sits on the benches chatting with her friends while your poor son wanders around the playground (often shoe-less) looking for her and calling her n (more) me. When he does find her she is rough and rude with him- there is not an ounce of love in her for him. It is so sad. Once, Don/Dan was at the top of the slide falling off to the side and screaming her name and she was all the way on the other side of the playground and my friend was calling “Debbie” since we took him down and asked who he was with and she finally came after 15 mins of us walking around calling “Debbie” and was so rude and got mad at us for interrupting her. Anyway, she was there yesterday at 4.30pm. Honestly, I would want her nowhere NEAR my kid and certainly not taking care of your cute son. She is awful, truly awful
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