30 April, 2012
I have gotten myself into a bad nanny situation. It started off great and I loved my job and loved the children but suddenly things spiraled downwards. The family took their children for a week long vacation overseas and did not tell me about this in the original contract. Which the trip was 2 months after I first started. I feel a though they knew in advance. I was told a month before and it wasn't til the week before that I was sat down to discuss what would happen with my pay.
The wife told me that other nannies were being paid but were doing some hours here and there to help out. And that sounded like a fair deal. I did tell her that it was their vacation time and not mine (I shouldn't be forced to take a week vacation technically unpaid since I get 4% tacked onto my paychecks which after 2 months of work that's really only about a day off worth). So anyways a day before they leave I did an extra couple of hours and then I was told to count my hours to make sure I did 42.5 hours worth of extra hours to make up for them paying me. I tried to say at this point that it was overtime hours and that it doesn't equivalate to a regular hour to which the husband replied in a snarky way and asked if my current work day hours were to much for me.
I dropped the conversation until a couple weeks later when I asked for a day off. They asked me to work an evening an extra 6 hours. And I said sure thinking it was making up for my day off. Later I was docked for the day off and not paid for the Monday on the premises that those 6 hours counted for their vacation time that they paid me for. I brought up how I thought this was unfair and I was told to sit down with one of the parents and chat about it. I was told I was exempt from overtime hours (I am not. I get overtime after 44 hours). And that I owed them that extra time and if i didn't want to repay it in overtime, they would take away my vacation pay to make up for it. I feel as though 43 hours in overtime is a lot to make up.
My contract says I get 8.5 hours a day 5 days a week and I can give them 2 weeks notice for my vacation time. It does not mention unpaid leave. Am I being taken advantage of? I'm telling you this family has a ton of money. That isn't there problem, it's more the fact that they feel as though they owe me nothing. I still have to pay bills and I work another job part time. So I do not have time to make up overtime hours for them. They hired me, they should pay me. Right?
at 11:38 AM
Are there any super great books about how to be the best nanny, handle certain situations, etc? I've found two on amazon but I don't think they're in my local bookstores so I can get a look at them first. If not a book for nannies, are there any great parenting books that have been very helpful for any nannies out there? I'm always looking to get better at this and I feel like the only good advice I can find is from super nanny!
at 4:35 AM
Hi, I am from Australia and I am a huge fan of this blog. I have had a horrible nanny experience and was wondering if I could email you the story as a warning for those who might work for this psycho. I know this is an american site but you never know who could read it :) Have you thought of branching out into the aussie market? I think it would be a big hit. Thanks for taking the time to listen to this huge, huge fan!!!
To huge ISYN fan: According to our Site Map, we receive plenty of visitors from Australia! It is 3rd in popularity with Reader traffic (US and Canada are 1st and 2nd) And yes, please send us your story!
at 4:29 AM
World War I Memorial Park, North Attleboro, MA on Sunday April 29th, 1pm. I was at the park with my child, who has autism, and she was playing in the sand box. It is a lovely park, but I stay close to her because I have to make sure she is safe and being safe to the other children. She is high functioning: most people don't even know she has autism.
While I was watching her play, I noticed a little boy about her age (5) who had brown hair come up and take her drink of water. My daughter did not notice: she tends to have trouble socializing and does not generally get upset when someone takes her toys or things: I have to intervene and tell the child, and help my daughter talk to people. But when the boy took her water, I said, "hey buddy, that's not yours." He ignored me and drank the water, so I went over and took it saying, "it's not yours!" Well, his Dad who looked about late 20s, early 30s, also with brown hair, medium build, came running over apologizing and said, "I'm sorry, he has autism. He tries to eat other peoples food at McDonalds." The dad looked embarrassed and stressed out (as most of us with autistic kids do at times!) and I said to him, "Hey, she has autism too! I'm right there with you!" I told him how at Sunday mass, my daughter is so fascinated by ladies' shoes that she gets down on the floor to look at them up close and once she even licked a lady's shoe! lol
My point is that you really never know which kids have autism sometimes! They all look normal and need a little extra patience and guidance. But this Dad was doing his job, and he has no need to be embarrassed by his child, who was beautiful. He was right there with him, taking him to the park and chasing him around and giving him a great social experience which people with autism need. To this dad: great job. Kudos to you!
at 3:57 AM
28 April, 2012
Hi everyone! I have a situation that I am not exactly sure how to deal with - Here it goes: I am 23 and have years of babysitting (I know I know its completely different from nannying). I started babysitting when i was 13 so I have 10 years of experience working with children as well as an AAS in early childhood education and my mom teaches hearing babies and their caregivers sign language (baby talk class) which I have been an assistant teacher for about 5 years. I love children and I chose to make it into a career. Since I have only babysitting experience I chose to become a nanny for a mothers helper position (yes the mother views me as a nanny) Just so I can start off my nanny career with a bit of guidance (or so i thought).
I have been with family "M" for a little over a year as an after school nanny for 3 children now ages 3, 5, and 7 and I love these children to death, it is an amazing job working for them. I tend to think of them sometimes as my little brothers and sisters (the mom even thinks of me as her niece she said so) The husband is always away on business and their relatives live out of state/out of country.
Lately the morning helper/nanny and I have a few major concerns. The mom isnt strict around them! The mom holds onto nannies like they are family so there is no way we will get fired and I know this for a fact (due to the former nanny who has been there since the beginning but quit due to breaking her him and her older age telling me that most nannies quit).
My concerns are: L who is 7 has no free time she switched from public school to go to a french academy and is in first grade and has an hour of homework every night, has ccd, daisy, dance, piano, and acting class during the week and sometimes when Im with her if she is stressed i send her to her room for time out/down time. She bites and hits me and doesnt go to time out so I have to threaten to cancel all her play dates. She doesnt have time to run around or unwind (watch tv before bed) and chews on everything (should I be concerned?)
S who is 3 but does not act her age at all does not nap (refuses to nap) and goes to bed at 9:00 with the other children every night and A: who is 5 who has all of a sudden started rebelling (like within the last 3 weeks) - they have an occasional sitter who he is always telling me she is boring because she doesn't come up with fun ideas, he even tells me I am boring because I dont come up with fun ideas (I tell him to come up with something fun because all my ideas are "boring to him" but not to his sisters. And when I am not fun he runs up to mommy and or daddy (if hes home) to tell them I am not playing with him (while im sitting on the floor setting up dominos like how he wanted me to). Around easter he hid my car keys in an easter egg.
The other night I gave the kids choices about what they want for dinner and he told me chicken ka bob (shish ka bob with chicken they had in the fridge) so I warmed it up for him and got it off the stick. Mommy was up stairs resting and he decided he didnt like it (which is fine but he tried it cold and said he loved it) so he threw the chicken across the room! I told him I will make him a hot dog if he cleans it up because its unacceptable and he ran upstairs to mommy to tell him I wouldnt give him a plate to the point where mom called me to tell me to get him his plate of food (i then told her what happened when they fell asleep - and she said that he was sneaky and didnt tell her about it).
The other day I let the 2 older child go out in the back yard to play while I was helping S get her coat on I walked outside and walked near the swings and A threw a brick IN MY DIRECTION! I immediately grabbed his arm for time out (cause S is my little shadow heaven forbid he hit her with a brick) and he kicked and scream and kicked the time out chair outside so i sent him to time out inside and he kicked a hole through the door so mommy had a word with him and his reasoning that she believed was A was trying to get a spider web (a what?) A few times I had to yell at all the kids for not listening in front of mom and quickly apologized and mom said dont worry they dont listen to me either (but ur the mom? - they should listen to you?)
Now that we have the current morning nanny the oldest is out of night time pull ups and sleeps in her own bed (like within the past 3 months) something that I have tried and begged the mom to allow but she said its too much work in case they had an accident. The younger 2 are still in night time pull ups and sleep in the same bed together! and S who is 3 is finally potty trained.
L had a play date yesterday and A was chasing L and her friend with a brick again! after i got rid of it the last time and a baseball bat when i took the brick away! Also during dinner the kids decide to run around and stand around which bothered me and the morning nanny too - so last night i told the kids if you get up for any reason (other then to get Katchup- cause I want L to be slightly more independent, or a napkin etc) I am taking your dinner plate away and your done for the night - am I being too strict? Cause it worked?!
What would you do? I love this position! The pay is Amazing and I have grown attached to the kids I just don't know how to adapt cause I feel slightly intimidated punishing the children right in front of the mom (maybe im too soft?)
at 6:00 AM
I'm 32 years old and have been a professional full-time nanny through a highly respected agency for 7 years now. For 3 years before that, I was a preschool teacher, and for 6 years before that, I worked in a daycare, and had various babysitting jobs all throughout my teen and young adult years. I have worked with kids for about 17 years now, from newborns to age 12, and in a variety of formats. I love what I do, and the reason I do this job is because I'm confident in all aspects of child care, I've been trained, and have experience, I genuinely love taking care of children, and I feel blessed that I can get paid for doing something I love. For me, it's a rewarding job. Recently the family I had been with for 4 years as their full-time nanny, domestic manager, and personal assistant moved out of state. I started interviewing for a new job, and that, combined with reading this website and also other online nanny agency type of sites, just made me want to get a few things off my mind and I figured this was a good format to do so.
What really prompted this was the number of interviews I seem to have had back-to-back lately where parents (especially first-time parents) seem to be so high and mighty about so many things concerning hiring a new nanny. I realize that your first priority as a parent is to protect your child, and I respect certain questions I am asked. I think good parents SHOULD ask a number of questions about someone they are considering to take care of their children. But I had an interview with a couple recently who had a newborn (their first) and GRILLED me on infant care and the do's and don't's past the point of what I felt was normal. They seemed extremely condescending and actually even handed me a "quiz" they had printed out on baby care. They then informed me that if I took the job, I should know now that I would be recorded on cameras all througout the house at all times that they could look in on while they were at work. In theory, I get this. However, even though I have nothing to hide, this makes me uncomfortable for obvious reasons. What if I have a personal phone call I need to take, or make? How do I know these cameras aren't included in the bathroom? What if I need to change clothes for some reason, is there a safe room to do so? Etc... but also the camera thing bothered me because you either trust me or you don't. If you're such an expert on children and babies just because you recently gave birth to one, but haven't worked in child care for 17 years like I have, and if you're so paranoid that someone does it right, then WHY on earth are you leaving them with someone else? You're sitting here interviewing a nanny to care for your child for 10 to 12 hours a day because you don't want to do it, yet you act as if I'm stupid and don't know anything because I haven't given birth to a child and I'm not a mother. So you're willing to leave your baby with this person who you don't really trust, and then watch videos after the fact to see if anything bad happened?? Basically what you're doing is testing the situation out on your child if you really don't trust the person you're leaving them with in the first place.
Some other things have bothered me in jobs off and on and in interviews that I think parents can't see the nanny's perspective on, and maybe if you tried to, your nanny wouldn't get overwhelmed or burned out so easily. Kids are great, amazing, and fun, but also very draining and tiring at times. Especially in certain jobs where there might be a heavy schedule to adhere to, activities to get to, or extra chores for the nanny to do besides watching and working with the children. We sometimes feel the same as a stressed-out mom, and that is understandable for mothers, yet nannies are expected to be "on" at ALL times, and perfect in everything they do, and always high-energy, fun, and engaging. I feel like about 90% of parents that hire nannies expect them to never sit down and take a break, make a phone call, check their texts, be in the bathroom for any length of time, sit down and enjoy lunch, read a book they brought or GOD-FORBID watch TV. *gasp* The TV thing is getting rediculous in jobs I've had. I am NOT one to sit down, watch tv and ignore the kids. And I'm not even talking about watching TV for myself but when COUNTLESS parents over and over and over and over that I've worked for, or interviewed for stress so much that they don't want their kids watching TV, but yet the kids tell me that's all they do in the evenings or on the weekends, or when I come each morning to get them ready for school with JUST enough time to do so, and all morning they've been in front of the TV while their parents are getting themselves ready, it gets irritating.
I had a job where this happened every day, leaving me to rush the kids through their morning routine in order to get them to school/playgroups on time. This job was from 7am to 6pm every day. One child had school until 3, the other had half-day preschool and then nap. They both had after-school activities and we ran around like crazy all day until about 5pm. I would bring them home and TRY to get dinner prepped or things from the day cleaned up for their parents like they requested that I do, and during that LAST half-hour when we had done all we could do all day long, the kids were antsy and hyper, and I was trying to finish things up for the day, I would let them watch TV while I did. It helped me immensly and they were still right in my view at all times. The parents would get home and they wouldn't be able to see the entire day of running around and things we did. All they saw was the kids watching TV every time they came home so they assumed that's all they ever did and told me to not let them watch it anymore. Yet EVERY MORNING when I would come in, they would be getting ready and have those kids in front of the TV.
I understand how evil and vile tv can be... i know you want your kids to get fresh air and be outside and be active. But parents, please put yourselves in our shoes sometimes and see things from these different perspectives. On days like weekends that you're home with your kids, do you make phone calls? (Probably, and this is ok! It's NORMAL!) Do you CONSTANTLY engage and play with your children? (probably not, and this is ok!) Do you hover over them and follow them around at the park and not let them just play with other kids? (I sure hope not). Please stop hiring someone to act as a perfect parent when you don't want to be one, and then get upset when they turn out to be human. Please see things from a different perspective if you can once in awhile. Are your children alive and well when you get home? Are they clothed, fed, feel safe, have a roof over their head? These are the things that matter! My job is to keep your child safe, and make sure they stay alive! I nurture them, play with them, and do other things a MOTHER would do with them because I LIKE to and feel that's what's right! I am good at what I do, and am always requested by people and have excellent references. I've never had an interview where I wasn't offered the job. So if anyone reading things in here thinks I'm a "bad nanny" for anything I've said, you don't know me and you're wrong. I'm just feeling frustrated lately by the attitude I get as a caregiver and felt some of this needed to be said.
at 5:51 AM
Hello! I been thinking about sending in my story but i am a bit frightened that my boss will read it. But i know that you guys keep it confidential. Here it goes: I work for a family outside of LA and MB and DB usually work from home. They have a 19 month old boy (K). I make 15$ and work around 25 hrs. I am a young nanny but have worked for great families and have never had issues with any of them until now.
I got this job thru care and it seemed like a great position. Been working for this family for over a year. Got the job around May 2011 and issues started around SEPT 2012. I am a part time nanny for them as i work with another family. I'll sum up some of the issues i have. First of all: I started driving baby K around in my car and MB gave me a list of places were i was only allowed to take the baby. She never ever said well here is money for gas. Maybe it was my fault for not bringing it up but i mean all the other jobs i have MB's give me money for gas whenever i drive my charges around. Time passed by and i could not afford to keep using my money to drive child around. So I asked MB if she could please give me money for gas because i drive him around 3 times a day. She seemed extremely upset and said she would talk to DB. That friday she said she would give me 10$ a week and that i was "ALLOWED" to drive him even further. I guess she wants me to stretch those ten dollars as much as possible. She is giving me 3.30$ a day for gas. Thats one issue.
My next issue is that i take the baby to indoor playgrounds, different parks, the beach, library and i ALWAYS end up paying for parking and food. I mean im not asking her to pay for my food or my own stuff but i mean at the end of the day it ads up and i end up making less money. When i got the job i was told that I could get anything to eat from their fridge. Now MB always makes comments like "this food is for me and the baby" .. so to prevent more problems i bring my own food. That is not a big deal. But my problem is that she is on a really strict budget and even when i ask her for money for snacks she will say "well.. and make up an excuse". I do the laundry for the baby and she even says "don't dry the clothes so much it uses all the coins". It frustrates me that she is so CHEAP. I work part time with other families that NEVER do this to me and even if there late 15 min they pay me for that. This MB is ALWAYS late and does not pay anything else. I don't mind paying for lunch with the baby here and there. But just the fact that she feels that its my responsibility to have that "extra money" handy and not bother her frustrates me.
Another thing that upsets me is she changes her terms very often. When i got the job she told me i would have at least 20 hours a week guaranteed. Since she goes on vacations frequently i told her that at my other job i was getting more hours and that i was going to quit since she was not paying me when she traveled. I know I am only a part time nanny and she agreed to pay me half of the 20 hrs (10) when she was gone. When I told her i was going to quit she told me she was expecting her second child and that she wanted me to stay. But i feel that if she is so cheap .. is she even going to give me a raise when the second baby is here .. ? Highly doubted. What pushed my buttons was that she asked me to take her, her mom and baby to LAX on Thursday. So i did.. when i dropped them off all she said was Thank you for the ride! I was extremely upset she realized i was upset too but u didn't say anything. How can you work with someone who is that cheap? I mean im not her FREE TAXI! I mean we have to contract and i can quit but i love baby K and i don't know what to do. Can anyone give me helpfull tips. My other MB and their family are famous hollywood producers and they want me to quit and go work for them more hours. I have worked over two years with the other family so im not the problem.. But What should i do? Thanks!
I'm going to get ripped apart for this... oh well. I'm entitled to my own opinion but am I the only one that gets super annoyed by the 'Day in the Life' posts on here? I know that is what the blog is for I'm not trying to be rude but I just don't get it... I have wonderful days with my charge and get along beautifully with my MB and DB... they think I do a great job and I love what I do... but I don't need to post it on here to get a pat on the back from everyone about what a wonderful nanny I seem like. Just had to get that off my chest, thanks!
I'm a nanny to a 14 year old girl who is constantly at war with her mother. I struggle with what to say when they drag me into the middle of their battles. Mom likes to throw me under the bus, often misquoting me, and then I'm left to suffer the wrath of the teen. I have to handle the situation with "kid gloves" because they are not your typical family next door. Any moms of teens out there with suggestions on redirecting the teen when she is spinning out of control? And how best to respond when being pulled into the tornado - like wars the two of them engage in? I don't want to continue to be sucked in!
at 5:00 AM
I feel like I am being underpaid and need some opinions. I work for a family in NYC. At around 5pm I pick up a 3 year old boy from his daycare. I then take him to the park for about 20 mins of playtime. After that we take the train about 10 mins to his home where I then microwave his dinner and feed it to him. After his dinner, I give him a bath and then clip his nails. His parents reach home about about 7:15 pm and then I leave. They pay me $20 per day and do not reimburse me for train fare to bring their child home and on some pay days they claim they forgot to go to the atm so I have to wait for the next day to be paid. One week they completely forgot to pay me. Please give me your opinion.
Also, the boy is extremely rude to me and tells me he hates me and cries and throws a fit almost every single day before bath time! If he does not get exactly what he wants he throws a fit on the train, on the street or anywhere we are. Sometimes his father is home and hears him yelling at me and he just comes and consoles the little boy and says "ok ok, you'll be alright" - never reprimanding him for being rude to me.
at 4:33 AM
I've been working with this family since Sept, 2 boys 3/5. I have noticed the father who works from home on porn sites, he will click fast to a blank screen. The sad part is Mom works from home and her office is in the basement. I want to know has anyone else dealt with this and how do I handle this. So far I have ignored this, this is disgusting.
at 4:30 AM
My question is: Has anyone else ever forgotten a child in time out? I am currently a nanny for 4 little girls ages 2, 4, 7, and 11 and sometimes I get so preoccupied with the other 3 kids that I forget that I have put them there! Like today for example, the 7 year old pushed the 4 year old and I sent her to time out and forgot she was there while I was keeping an eye on the 2 and 4 year old and helping the 11 year old with her homework! They all know that they have to stay put until I come and get them so she stayed in the corner for about 20 minutes (instead of 7) until I finally realized that she was still in time out. Does this ever happen to anyone else? This is only about the third time it has happened but still I feel really bad about it and was wondering how I can better remember. Is there anything I should do for the 7 year old to make it up to her? lol
at 4:13 AM
25 April, 2012
This story is about an employer I worked for from June 27th, 2011 to April 19th, 2012. I'm not sure if you can post names or not legally, but I'll give you their names and you take it from there. The mom is T. L., she works for L***** and Associates. It's a global brand design company. One day she will say she is the CEO, the next day she will say she isn't the CEO, she is the Senior Designer, so not sure which is true. I don't know the company the dad works for, his name is K. H., but he is an Architect. They have bragged to me before that they bring in around $130,000 a year. This is a great income for Cincinnati, OH. They own a really nice home near Hyde Park, right off of Columbia Parkway.
I started when their twins were 3 months old. They were the BEST babies ever. I very quickly bonded with them. The parents were at first great, too. Said I was a part of the family that they were so glad to have me and all that. The pay sucked from the beginning, but I was desperate for a job. They originally offered $250 a week for 45 hours, but promised additional compensation for any hours over that, and promised raises at 6 months, 1 year, so on and so forth. They also said my job was strictly to take care of the twins, and the only chores I had to do was clean up my own mess, wash the baby bottles, and do the babies laundry. At first they went out of their way to make me feel welcome. They asked what food I would like in the house, they often brought me home dinner, asked how my day was with genuine concern, and were very polite. The problems started around when the babies turned 6 months.
Suddenly my hours drastically changed. I went from working 8:30 to 5:30 every day, to working as early as 7am to as late as 9pm. They would call me during my work day and say, "Hey listen there's a ball game we got last minute tickets for we need you to stay until 9. We will pay you extra and buy you some dinner!" I agreed because I loved the babies and for fear they would get upset if I didn't. What started out as one night every so often became multiple days a week. Eventually there was not a single week I worked under 50 hours, and most were getting up to 70 hours. I was there from the time the babies woke up til they went to bed. The dad was always the one who paid me, so I began asking nicely about my extra pay. He would always say oh yeah I'll just throw it in there on pay day. Then on pay day it wouldn't be there so I would say "What about my money for working late?" He would say "I forgot... I promise next time I will though." This happened over and over. They also promised me holidays off but began calling me in on holidays promising me extra pay and never following through. One holiday I came in the entire day, 12 hours, they promised to provide me my meals but never did so I worked and was starving all day. Anyways despite this I stayed because I loved the babies so much.
When the babies turned 8 months it got worse. Suddenly the chores increased drastically. She tried to play them off as "this is just a list of chores in case you have the time", but then when she came home if I hadn't mopped, swept, done the dishes, and done her laundry she was pissed. Eventually I started to do the chores and then came the criticism. One morning she made breakfast and left food crusted all over the counter. Feeling it wasn't my responsibility I didn't touch it. She came home and blew up at me over it, insisting I clean it NOW. The way she talked to me was out of line but I dealt with it. They began taking advantage of me, leaving their trash, dirty plates, clothes, everything all over the counters, coffee table, and floors expecting it picked up. They also told me to start bathing the babies daily, which I didn't mind (previously she said she liked to do it) what I did mind was her coming home, smelling the babies, then not believing me that I bathed them.
The worst part though was the dad. He began making comments on my weight and eating habits. One day I ordered pizza he came home and said, "You know if you wouldn't eat that crap you probably wouldn't be so overweight." That was hurtful... but I was so shocked I didn't know what to say so I ignored it. A few days later he demanded I start walking the babies a minimum of 1 hour a day because I "need the exercise". Out of anger, I refused to do so. I was already walking them 20 mins a day, plus outside play time, and his request angered me so I refused. This turned into a constant battle between us. He would come home to a spotless house and clean happy babies and say, "What do you DO all day? Just sit around?" He would also correct the way I spoke. He hated when I said don't, won't, or can't, he said "Around my kids you will say do not, will not, cannot." He was starting to make me miserable. Add that to long hours, the kids now older and crawling and getting into everything, I was getting burnt out and emotionally nearing a breakdown.
Finally last week was it for me. The entire week the dad would in the mornings walk right past me not even acknowledging I was there. One morning he actually brushed up against my arm knocking me back a little and still didn't say a word to me, but before he left he said to the mom in a hateful tone, "Make sure you talk to her about all of the issues we are having with her." When she sat down to talk to me, the "issues" were I used too much milk for the babies, I used the AC too much (even though they told me to put the temperature at whatever made me comfortable, so I set it at 70), and that they couldn't afford to pay for all my mistakes. So on Thursday (I normally am paid $500 every 2 weeks on Friday, and that amount includes for Friday's childcare) I asked to be paid early. The dad flipped out interrogating me as to why, I told him I needed it for gas and bills. He gave it to me, I walked out, and emailed the mom and told her I quit. I told her all the nasty things the dad said to me and that I couldn't take it anymore, I told her that by my calculations they owed me over $600 in overtime wages and that the $500 they gave me that included for Friday, that the Friday amount I will just consider towards the back pay the dad owes me. I then changed my phone number. That night my husband got a flood of calls and texts on his phone, somehow they had his number I must of given it to them. They were acting all nice saying please the kids adore you please don't leave. My husband told her I wouldn't talk to her on the phone but she could email me back. The next morning she emailed me a hateful email saying I owed 2 weeks notice to her and I better come back Monday. I told her she owed it to me to honor her side of the contract and treat me with respect.
The day after I quit she posted an ad on care.com offering $5 to $10 an hour (she won't give you over $5), she will pay under the table just like me I promise, and the ad is by T. L. the zip code to look her up is 45226, and she is asking for care for her 13-month-old twins. I reported her to the care.com staff because I don't want this to happen to another nanny. I will say the babies were LOVELY amazing perfect little babies, but nobody deserves that abuse from the parents. Thank you for considering posting my story. I never want another person to go through what I went through. - M. R.
at 2:38 PM
How do I deal with a DB that is constantly micromanaging my day with the kids. A constant I do it this way and buzzing around. I have no problem doing as the parents want but this goes beyond it. He's not abusive or anything but I think I'm going nuts, add to it that with my last review he had nothing to say, no areas of improvements.
at 2:15 PM
Maybe I am missing something but what's up with all of these spineless nannies lately? I guess I just don't understand the fear these girls are expressing over Dad Bosses. What's the big deal with being left alone with them? Or having them work from home? It seems like a fear of sexual assault. I guess in my opinion this profession requires communication with both mom and dad and to be afraid of the dad just seems silly. Yes i have read the stories of assault and affairs involving dads but that kinda stuff happens in plenty of other settings, and women don't avoid those settings. I just think women are only as weak as they think they are. We have more power then we realize. I am a victim of date rape... but I can honestly say that didn't change how I live my life... why should we change our lives just because they did something wrong?
at 2:07 PM
I currently nanny for a 9 month old boy, C, and have been with him since he was 5 months. I am a live-out nanny and MB is an ER doctor and DB works from home/travels often. Here is a typical day for us (times may vary by 20-30mins or so, but he is on a fairly consistent schedule!)
8:00: I arrive and say hello to everyone, C has already been given his morning bottle
8:30: I feed C some breakfast, we practice signing "eat" "more" "drink" and "all done"
8:45-9:15: We play on the floor, practicing standing and pulling up
9:15: Change diaper, read some stories, bottle and bed, C goes right to sleep and rarely fusses
9:30-11:30: C naps, I read, get bag ready for outing, tidy toys
11:30: Change diaper and head downstairs
12:00: C has lunch, usually yogurt, cheese and crackers, fruit etc.
12:15-2:00: We usually go on an outing to music class, swimming, active tots, library etc.
2:00-2:15: We relax at home for a bit, practice signing "play" "book" "help", practice crawling
2:15: Change diaper, read stories, bottle and bed
2:30-4:15: C naps, I unpack bag, do dishes, do a load of his laundry, read
4:15: Change diaper and head downstairs
4:20: C has a snack... baby food or crackers, fruit, etc.
4:30: I do a final check to make sure I have updated his daily log with all his eating/sleeping and any interesting info and either MB or DB takes over so I can go home!
7:00pm C goes to bed and sleeps until 6:30am (and naps for 4 hours a day... good sleeper, I know!) He is a very happy little guy and I love him to bits!
at 2:06 PM
Question: Has anyone had a good experience with LA nanny agencies? if so which do you think are the best? and lastly, would you rather find a job through an agency or through connections? I just had two people contact me asking if I'd work for them... and I'm just not sure if I should take one of those positions or wait until I get a job through an agency. And, truly lasting, how do you pick which job is best for you? It's such a huge thing to decide on.
at 2:00 PM
Hi, I found this article on NY times and thought maybe you could post it as a caution. I'm sure we've all slid down a slide with a child on our lap, but were not aware of the risk we were taking. Thanks!
at 1:57 PM
22 April, 2012
Nanny Sightings Needed
PLEASE INCLUDE THESE DETAILS IN YOUR SUBMISSION:
* Physical description of nanny/caregiver
* Physical description of involved child/children
* Address or venue of observed incident
* Date and time of incident
* Description of what you witnessed
* Description of vehicle, bag, or stroller that may aid in identifying caregiver
YOUR SUBMISSIONS MAY BE:
* emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org
* (Your identity will be respected and withheld)
* Left as an ANONYMOUS comment to this post
* Left as an ANONYMOUS instant message using the MEEBO toolbar on the right side of the main ISYN page
NOTE TO READERS:
* There is now a ZERO TOLERANCE policy on personal attacks or flaming of those that send in Sightings. Your comment will be immediately deleted.
* You may also send in Questions, Nanny/Employer Horror Stories, Rants/Raves, A Day in the Life...
at 8:30 AM
I have never posted on here, but I needed to inform you of this GOOD nanny sighting.
Where - Prospect Park Playground. Park Slope, Brooklyn.
Nanny - (early 20's, brunette, very pretty, wearing leggings and flats)
Nanny brought her charges (4 year old Scotia and 16 month old Henry... she told me names/ages when we spoke) to playground. Nanny was wonderful. Helping girl on monkey bars, sliding down slide with baby, and hugging and kissing when he fell down. Kids love her. Girl was laughing and talking to nanny all afternoon. Nanny really interacting with her, giving great answers to silly 4yr old questions. Baby was having a blast running around. Nanny always right behind him. Fed kids snacks and water. Seemed prepared with wipes and such...
Only time nanny took out her cell was to take photos of kids and send to MB. (Little girl told her "can you take a picture and send it to mommy?") Kids and nanny seemed genuinely happy. I am a SAHM who has seen her share of questionable nanny behavior in Park Slope. I was very impressed with this nanny. :)
at 7:41 AM
I work part time for a great family, and I supplement that with lots of occasional babysitting jobs. I recently met a new family, dad works full time, mom is a SAHM who just needs a few hours here and there to run errands and such. I spent a day with the two little girls (3 and 4 1/2), and had a great time. The mom asked if she could call me again and I said definitely!
The second time I went over there, I arrived in the morning and the mom was nowhere to be seen. The dad answered the door in his PJs and announced that he would be working from home. WHAT!?!? They didn't even tell me! Because of an incident a few years ago, my policy is to never accept jobs where the dad works at home unless I know that dad very very well. This man was a complete stranger, I had never even met him, and I have to spend the whole day alone in a house with him? This is completely unacceptable. (I say alone because the kids are hardly going to be able to help me fight him off...)
Luckily, it was a nice day out, so we spent most of the day walking and playing at the park. However, I can't count on being able to get out of the house every time. I am wondering if I should be unavailable to them from now on, or if I should explain to them why I am turning them down. At first, I felt like they tricked me into that situation by not informing me beforehand that dad would be home. I assumed they knew that a nanny wouldn't want to work with the dad there, so they lied about it so I wouldn't turn down the job. But now I am thinking maybe they were just clueless. Perhaps they forgot to mention he would be home, or maybe they just aren't tuned in to what is important to the safety of young women. So I suppose I don't really think they intentionally fooled me, but so many people don't consider how their actions will affect others!
So now I am not sure what I should do. If I just turn them down every time they ask me to babysit, they will have no clue what drove me away. I would like to educate them that in this day and age, it is inappropriate to expect a young woman to work alone in a building with a strange man. They may end up losing other babysitters because of this, and if no one tells them they will never learn. But I do not want to insult them, chances are, the dad is like 99.9% of dads I have met and is a totally decent guy. He may be very upset and take it personally. I guess I don't really care if they call me again... which do you all think I should do?
at 7:15 AM
Hi all, I am a nanny working for wonderful boy. The child and I get along well, and I think he feels open and comfortable with me. I completely invest myself in him when we are together and know that I give him my all. When I first started the position, his father asked if I would be able to help keep an eye on his schedule as a means of helping him out. I said of course, knowing that that meant sifting through the child's backpack at the end of the day and making the father aware of any updates or school notices. I have no problem doing that. Recently however, I have been getting about two to five e-mails a day (including days when I'm not working) asking if I can attend such and such event for the child, can I go to such and such meeting for parents, and finally can I start updating calanders and making a relevant calander for him with all pertinent information? I know for a fact that he carries a calander with him every day strictly for his child. If he e-mails me about a date, I agree to be there and help out, and then he is asking me how we get that date on to the calander in another e-mail, I truly do not know how to respond without being rude. I AM NOT HIS PERSONAL ASSISTANT! I am not going to make calanders every month, run through the very busy metropolitan city we live in, photocopy it, and bring him one, when all he has to do is write down on the calander in front of him, "such and such is happening". This seems like such common sense to me and I am tired of getting 2-5 e-mails a day and then asking to have a phone call that night on top of it. Am I being unreasonable?
at 7:05 AM
Hi everyone! I constantly feel that my DB looks down on me. He's very disrespectful toward me. He never acknowledges me when he sees me. The only time he'll say anything to me is when the kids make a mess and he orders me to clean up after them. The family has a lot of money and only associates with the wealthy or Jewish. It's so frustrating!
at 7:04 AM
I have worked as a full time nanny for a variety of households for the last decade. Working with so many children , I have built a different relationship with each one. My current situation leaves me perplexed because ive never encountered it before. I have worked with this single child family for a little over two years. I am not a live-in, i work 35 hours each week.
I started when the baby was about four months old and she is now two and a half. The fact that she doesn't know life without me is what makes the behavior unusual in my mind. Whenever she has an owie or is frustrated and having a tantrum, she doesn't want me to hold her. She begs for mommy or daddy... most times one of them is available but not always. If a parent is available they will come console her if it was an owie, but never during a tantrum (supporting my authority). If a parent holds her, she snuggles them and wants to remain being held until she feels better. If a parent is not available she continues to sob, and pushes me away if I try to help console her. This isn't stranger anxiety, as I'm likely seen as family in her mind. She would rather thrash on the floor alone with a pinched finger, rather than snuggle with me. She adores me, we play and snuggle plenty, she asks for me when I'm not around.... so why doesn't she seek me to comfort her? It sounds pathetic now that I see my question in writing, but I'm genuinely concerned that there is an issue.
I've worked with children who love me like a parent.... or children who hate my presence because they have realized that mommy leaves when nanny arrives... and also children who would rather have mommy but accept me as a substitute when in pain. Am I missing something? Please list my "screen name" as HappyElephant.
at 6:55 AM
I have a question (mostly for my fellow American Nannies.) I had the chance to talk with a British Nanny, and an American Nanny who worked decades ago, they both had the opinion that current American Parents view their nanny as something akin to a slave, and that many nannies hold this view themselves. Now I don't feel I'm a slave or treated as one, but I do feel nannies are given more authority and respect in other parts of the world as compared to the USA. Why is this the case?
at 6:53 AM
Hello there, I don't know if this is a submission and really, I'm asking whoever is available to answer. If it is a submission, I hope I can post as anonymous.
I'm a nineteen year old about to embark on professional nanny school next year. I have to say that I am a follower of your blog and have been for quite awhile. After seeing so many bad nanny posts and really enjoying reading other nannies advice, I have yet to feel alone or unsure of my future. I now know how not to be and what to ask for and expect. Thank you for that.
I do have one question though. In your opinion, what makes a fantastic straight -A nanny? What will make me different and stand out away from all the BAD nannies we see on your blog?
at 6:50 AM
I need advice. I'm a nanny to a 3 year old boy N and a 12 month old girl. I work m-f about 55 hours a week. The mother is going out of town for a business trip for 5 days, and I will be there the whole time. I know the kids are going to have a cry hard time. The mom works from home so the kids are always around her and are very attached. She is the most hands on mom that I have worked for, and the kids have never been away from her for that long. The little one is still nursing too, and is going to have such a hard time. I want to keep the kids as busy and distracted as much as possible so they're not thinking about mommy being gone too much. Does anyone have any ideas on what fun activities we can be doing. We go on trips to parks, and go to the mall, we do tons of baking and cooking and some crafts already on a daily basis, but I want to do new fun things while mommy is gone. Any ideas?
at 6:46 AM
Hi, I was wondering if you could help me? I know this is an anonymous tips website for catching nannies and I have been reading it with a shocked look on my face. I was wondering if one of the readers may be looking for a kind, honest live-in nanny. I have been looking for my new family for a month now. I keep finding these amazing families who will be a great fit, but the timing is always wrong. It’s so frustrating and I feel down in the dumps today. Last month I was dumped by a family in Sadder River, NJ. The gig was supposed to be long term, but that was a lie. The family was going through a custody battle with DYFS , but I didn’t care. I refuse to judge people based on that fact.
Shortly after I was hired, the family had a meeting with the social worker. I’m not really sure of all the details, but the mother was approved to move into the house with the grandmother and the children. I am happy for them, because this is one step closer to getting their children out of the grandmother’s house. Unfortunately for me, that decision made my job unnecessary. They learned this information on a Friday and did not inform me until Sunday night that I had to move out the following day. By the way I had nowhere else to go.
More recently I found this wonderful family who I had the possibly of starting with this Tuesday. We talked everyday for a week about meeting on Saturday (today) but yesterday she pulled the rug out from underneath me. She told me her husband wanted to push everything back to nearly 3 weeks from now. She wanted me to wait for them, but understood if I couldn’t. I just feel discouraged, because I’m a good person. Although my kind heart shines through and I’m great at my job it doesn’t seem to be enough. Bad luck just follows me. I need a live in nanny position ASAP with an amazing family that I will adore. I want the gig to be longterm and full time. I don’t have a car so I would appreciate if the family will provide one for me. Preferably the family would be located in the Bergen County area of North Jersey.
I am a non-smoking, respectful, responsible, reliable, punctual, and trustworthy person. I am FEXIBLE – which is insanely important for a working family. I am willing to work late nights and weekends when needed. Willing to travel and spend holidays with the family if needed. I'm an awesome person just looking for an awesome family to be a part of. My ideal family is an open and honest family. They are warm and welcoming. They are silly at times. And love to learn/try new things. My ideal family also finds communication extremely important. My email is email@example.com. Please help me if you can. ♥ Michelle
at 6:29 AM
I'm Amy, 27 years old, a single mom of a 1 year old son and a professional career nanny in San Diego, CA and would LOVE to meet local nannies and/or au pairs. I'd like to be able to set-up playdates, there's so much to do here: parks, beaches, amusment parks, kidventure, kid zone, gymboree, music with me, nightinggales music, frozen yogurt shops, and I could go on and on. I also think it'd be nice to get out with "co-workers" on off-hours. Let's start a local group for building friendships and support! My email is firstname.lastname@example.org
at 6:26 AM
21 April, 2012
17 April, 2012
I feel so guilty, I have a bit of a crush on my DB. To make matters worse he works from home. Luckily, I don't see him that much during the day, just when he pops in a few times to see his baby. I haven't done anything and I don't plan on it. I just feel so guilty about it because 1. he's married 2. he's one of my bosses. Maybe I need to quit.
at 4:08 AM
Wow! Maybe I've been away too long, but from what I remember when I used to frequent here this board was about keeping kids safe by reporting bad caregivers and every now and then there was advice shared with new nannies and praise for a good nanny. Yes, there were squabbles, but just reading through recent posts I'm both saddened and really I haven't been missing much. There were some awesome questions here, but the vast majority of replies are name-calling and cat fights. Pathetic. Guess I can continue to stay away for good.
at 4:02 AM
I have a minor dilemma/potentially fabulous opportunity, and would appreciate some insight and advice. I am a nanny to ADORABLE two year old twin girls, and have been with them since August of 2011. I absolutely LOVE everything about this position, and I get along with the mom (who is a single parent by the way) famously. I am incredibly happy with everything and am beyond grateful. I wouldn't change this position for anything. Total dream nanny job.
Tonight I was informed by mom that she was offered a position about a 2 hour drive away from where we currently reside. She has asked if I will consider making the move with them as I am such an important part of their family. I feel extremely honored, but also a little conflicted... that would be 2 hours away from my home that I have worked for and adore, 2 hours from family and friends, the city I have lived in for over a decade, and most importantly - my son's amazing school which he has attended since Kindy.... basically everything would change.
Mom has asked if I will try it out for just 1 month - stay with her and the girls Sunday night through Friday, and I will then drive home Friday night to spend the weekends with my son, and then make the 2 hour drive back each Sunday night, but only for a month. She would like me to feel out the new town to get a taste of what it's like, so perhaps I will choose to permanently make the move. She said I will have my own room/bathroom, and will be off at 5:00pm each evening, with occasional evening assistance with the girls. She offered $20/hour at 45 hours/week, including paying for all of my gas expenses to and from my home and her home, which in total will be about 4 hours driving time each week. It will only be for a month, maybe 2 months at the most, until I make my decision, but I am wondering what others feel is adequate pay for this request?
I LOVE this family, but also love my own, and want to make sure this is worth the time and energy. I currently make $16.00/hour and live about 8 minutes from this family. So, 1st question - What is appropriate compensation for the month long commitment? And 2nd -What would be fair compensation if I make the move permanently? Thank you!!
at 4:00 AM
I have kind of a random question. How do you add "Baby Sign Language" to your resume? I have a Skills section, which includes Languages, but I'm not sure how to add in BSL. Right now, I have "Native English speaker with elementary proficiency in Spanish". How should I word it so I can also add Baby Sign Language?? Thanks.
at 3:58 AM
Just started a nanny job. I like my MB and can tell she hates being a way from her kids and really appreciates me. I've only been with them since March. Is it too early to do Mother's Day gifts? If not, what would be a good one? Her babies will be 7 months old at that time.
at 3:30 AM
12 April, 2012
What would you do if you suspected your nanny was smoking marijuana? I cannot be sure, but I am sure if you know what I mean. It's happened 3-4 times where she comes home and smells heavily and in my opinion clearly looks stoned. We asked her to take a drug test before employment, and she passed that. If she is indeed smoking, she is doing it on her own time. Not that it makes it any better, but we live in an area on the country (Pacific NW) where it is pretty socially acceptable. I am at a total loss. She is doing a great job, we love her to death, but I don't want to be clueless either. I also don't want to make a false accusation and end up ruining a good thing and becoming a total ass. Please help!
at 7:03 AM
I’m a fairly new nanny so I don’t know if I’m being hypersensitive. I’ve been a nanny for 15 months. This is my third position (first permanent full time, others were temp) and my second twin family. Anyway, as I was leaving the twins were fussy, one wanted to eat and the other just gets fussy sometimes. Mom was trying to feed one, and the one I had starting crying again. Dad called them a pain in the ass. I know they’re probably tired from being up all night, and caring for the girls can be stressful. But they’re just 3 months old! Mom quickly shushed him, but I was shushed. Should I have done anything? Should I have offered to stay a bit longer and help?
at 6:34 AM
I need help from all you nannies out there, i need advice on whether or not I am being paid fairly! I am a nanny with about 7 years of nanny and preschool experience. I am a nanny for a 20 month old boy (K). I am responsible for cleaning up after him, laundry, feeding, all the typical nanny duties. Also when doing laundry the parents laundry is often in the washer and dryer so I finish and fold whatever they have before beginning K's laundry. I am a very hands on nanny, as a rule, the tv is never turned on for a single minute during the day, I do art activities daily as well as educational play, walks ect.
I usually work from 8:30 am to 6:30 pm, although some days I am there to as late as 8:00 pm. I am paid salary with no overtime, I receive 500 a week. I was told during an interview that the hours would average 45 to 50 hours a week, due to some weeks being short, this does occasionally happen, but few and far between, the hours have been averaging 50 - 53. I have never complained and have always been graceful about these long hours with short pay. But now the mother has accepted a new job an hour away and now I am required to be here at 7:30 (which means waking up at 5 am, too early for this nanny!). It looks like I will be here from 7:30am to 6:30 - 7:30pm if not much later, and i am pretty sure they have no intention to compensate me for these extra hours, I am not okay with working 55 - 60 hours a week for 500 with no overtime.
I am having a hard time approaching them with my concerns because they have an excuse for everything and they tend to make me feel like i am out of line for asking less hours or more pay. I don't really want to work elsewhere, I have been with this family for awhile but i also want to be paid fairly for my time. So, to all you nannies, how much of a raise do you think I should ask for, and how would you approach it? Sincerely, a seriously overworked nanny.
at 6:30 AM
I was wondering what other nannies do for discipline. I am a nanny for a three year old girl and recently she has been having major behavior issues. Talking back, hitting, screaming, etc. The problem is that it is only with me, not with her parents. I was wondering what suggestions I could have so that I can deal with her. I have tried time outs, taking away privileges, etc. Her parents say I can spank her, but I totally don't feel comfortable doing that. Suggestions?
at 6:28 AM
Help! How do I ask for overtime pay for working on the weekends? If I am not available the back up sitter comes and they pay her... but if I work on the weekends I am not paid overtime (I'm a live in so they just assume I'm a built in nanny.) I have a hard time sticking up for myself... advice please? Thanks.
at 6:25 AM
Question #1: What should a nanny traveling with you be paid? Overnight?
Question #2: How much do you pay a nanny traveling with you. The rate in our area (Austin, TX) is between $13-$16 per hour, and we are traveling to Florida for a week - Driving there. We have a 18 month, 3 and 5 year old. We will be taking care of the children together most of the time, but will be leaving a couple of nights for dinner. Want to be fair and would appreciate help! Thanks.
at 6:16 AM
09 April, 2012
Upper West Side, NYC - Thursday April 5, 2012 about 5pm. In a pizza place on 72nd street, just east of the subway station.
Two children, one in stroller. White kids, dark brown hair. Older kid was wearing navy blue striped t-shirt, layered with navy blue long sleeved shirt beneath, and light up shoes.
Nanny is with a friend. They are both African American. Nanny has chin length hair. Wearing a pink t-shirt, red belt and a black hoodie with rhinestones. Other woman is in black parka, jeans and beige shirt.
Nanny threatens and yells at the older kid, and mostly ignores the younger one in the stroller, while she orders pizza. She is abusive. Kid yells back at her. As things begin to heat up, an older couple engage the kid and introduce him to child they are with. Things calm down at that point. Thank you.
at 12:41 AM
I recently interviewed for a Nanny job and the father said that he wants to visit my home and meet my husband and children. He said that it's "only fair" that they get to know me as well as I am getting to know them and part of that process is getting a glimpse into my lifestyle to get a better feel for who I really am, since they are going to be entrusting me with their house key, car key, and their children.
I thought this was bizarre. I am a very private person and although I can see his point in a way, I will not consent to this. If my refusal costs me the job, so be it. What are the thoughts of other Nannies? Have you ever had a request like this?
at 12:34 AM
So I have been a live in nanny for a family in Beverly Hills for the past 6 months and I have 3.5 years of nanny experience prior to working with them. Hours were never really discussed, but as time has gone on they have definitely increased. We agreed that I would make 300 a month since I am living with them and we said that hours would balance themselves out week by week. However they DO NOT. I work 55 hours a week mon-sunday. That is right Monday-Sunday. We have yet to make a schedule and I work literally around the clock for them. Although I do live with them comfortably, which I greatly appreciate 300 dollars a week for working more then full time equates to less than California's minimum wage hourly. I am planning on addressing my work schedule as well as what I feel I should be paid. However I am trying to figure out what that pay should be. Any suggestions? Thank you!
at 12:32 AM