Hi everyone! I have a situation that I am not exactly sure how to deal with - Here it goes: I am 23 and have years of babysitting (I know I know its completely different from nannying). I started babysitting when i was 13 so I have 10 years of experience working with children as well as an AAS in early childhood education and my mom teaches hearing babies and their caregivers sign language (baby talk class) which I have been an assistant teacher for about 5 years. I love children and I chose to make it into a career. Since I have only babysitting experience I chose to become a nanny for a mothers helper position (yes the mother views me as a nanny) Just so I can start off my nanny career with a bit of guidance (or so i thought).
I have been with family "M" for a little over a year as an after school nanny for 3 children now ages 3, 5, and 7 and I love these children to death, it is an amazing job working for them. I tend to think of them sometimes as my little brothers and sisters (the mom even thinks of me as her niece she said so) The husband is always away on business and their relatives live out of state/out of country.
Lately the morning helper/nanny and I have a few major concerns. The mom isnt strict around them! The mom holds onto nannies like they are family so there is no way we will get fired and I know this for a fact (due to the former nanny who has been there since the beginning but quit due to breaking her him and her older age telling me that most nannies quit).
My concerns are: L who is 7 has no free time she switched from public school to go to a french academy and is in first grade and has an hour of homework every night, has ccd, daisy, dance, piano, and acting class during the week and sometimes when Im with her if she is stressed i send her to her room for time out/down time. She bites and hits me and doesnt go to time out so I have to threaten to cancel all her play dates. She doesnt have time to run around or unwind (watch tv before bed) and chews on everything (should I be concerned?)
S who is 3 but does not act her age at all does not nap (refuses to nap) and goes to bed at 9:00 with the other children every night and A: who is 5 who has all of a sudden started rebelling (like within the last 3 weeks) - they have an occasional sitter who he is always telling me she is boring because she doesn't come up with fun ideas, he even tells me I am boring because I dont come up with fun ideas (I tell him to come up with something fun because all my ideas are "boring to him" but not to his sisters. And when I am not fun he runs up to mommy and or daddy (if hes home) to tell them I am not playing with him (while im sitting on the floor setting up dominos like how he wanted me to). Around easter he hid my car keys in an easter egg.
The other night I gave the kids choices about what they want for dinner and he told me chicken ka bob (shish ka bob with chicken they had in the fridge) so I warmed it up for him and got it off the stick. Mommy was up stairs resting and he decided he didnt like it (which is fine but he tried it cold and said he loved it) so he threw the chicken across the room! I told him I will make him a hot dog if he cleans it up because its unacceptable and he ran upstairs to mommy to tell him I wouldnt give him a plate to the point where mom called me to tell me to get him his plate of food (i then told her what happened when they fell asleep - and she said that he was sneaky and didnt tell her about it).
The other day I let the 2 older child go out in the back yard to play while I was helping S get her coat on I walked outside and walked near the swings and A threw a brick IN MY DIRECTION! I immediately grabbed his arm for time out (cause S is my little shadow heaven forbid he hit her with a brick) and he kicked and scream and kicked the time out chair outside so i sent him to time out inside and he kicked a hole through the door so mommy had a word with him and his reasoning that she believed was A was trying to get a spider web (a what?) A few times I had to yell at all the kids for not listening in front of mom and quickly apologized and mom said dont worry they dont listen to me either (but ur the mom? - they should listen to you?)
Now that we have the current morning nanny the oldest is out of night time pull ups and sleeps in her own bed (like within the past 3 months) something that I have tried and begged the mom to allow but she said its too much work in case they had an accident. The younger 2 are still in night time pull ups and sleep in the same bed together! and S who is 3 is finally potty trained.
L had a play date yesterday and A was chasing L and her friend with a brick again! after i got rid of it the last time and a baseball bat when i took the brick away! Also during dinner the kids decide to run around and stand around which bothered me and the morning nanny too - so last night i told the kids if you get up for any reason (other then to get Katchup- cause I want L to be slightly more independent, or a napkin etc) I am taking your dinner plate away and your done for the night - am I being too strict? Cause it worked?!
What would you do? I love this position! The pay is Amazing and I have grown attached to the kids I just don't know how to adapt cause I feel slightly intimidated punishing the children right in front of the mom (maybe im too soft?)
at 6:00 AM