Sick Days

Rebecca Nelson Lubin

Last week, just before the Christmas holidays hit, so did the dreaded flu. It had been cooking for a while, me and the family I work for have been walking around since Thanksgiving coughing and sneezing and feeling generally like crap. I slugged through my work days, with tissues and hand sanitizer in my pockets, gave up on going to the gym and going out socially, tried to get as much sleep as possible, and spent each morning in a long steamy shower cleaning out my sinuses with a neti pot. I even, as suggested by my housemate, poured a capful of hydrogen peroxide into each ear every morning and let it bubble around for a minute, the theory being that it was killing off whatever virus was attacking my ears, nose and throat, for as she pointed out, it’s all connected in there. Such dramatic measures only seemed to hold the cold at bay, until the weekend before Christmas, when it exploded and I found myself croaking into the phone at 7am Friday morning,

“I’m really sick. Can’t come to work.”

My employer said something very sweet and supportive and after a rather extended couching fit, I crashed back asleep until 3pm that afternoon. I looked at my clock with bleary eyes. Had I just slept eight hours? It was hard to think about. I closed my eyes and woke again at 9pm, had some toast, and went back to bed. By Sunday I was feeling pretty chipper. I phoned my bosses and told them to expect me as usual Monday morning, but when I woke at six, I realized that was not going to happen as I found myself running for the toilet, totally ensconced in phase two of the dreaded flu- pukey time. It lasted a full 24 hours and at times I found myself curled up on my bathroom floor wondering, “How do people deal with this for more than one day?”

My employer sent me encouraging texts. “How r u feeling?”

I texted back “Kill me.”

“Can I do anything 4 u?”

“Make it b 2morrow so I can be @ work.”

The she texted something really nice. She said not to worry. This is what sick days were for, and besides, I still had two left in the year. Stay home and get better.

It is not always like this in the Nanny world. Sick days are usually nowhere in the work agreement. I know I was too naïve to even ask for them in my first big time nanny job. It was only after the fact, work agreement agreed to that I said, Uh – what about sick days? My boss told me I wouldn’t need them. Now all the nannies out there know that we work in a profession that puts us in contact with as many germs and viruses as flight attendants and emergency room orderlies. The little monkeys we love and care for are little germ factories, with a finger always up their nose and the entire viral weight of their preschool world on their little shoulders when we pick them up. We care for them when they are sick, we get sneezed on and vomited on and we provide extra hours when their parents fall ill, and then we catch the bug too…and usually get no sympathy. Has any other Nanny than me ever found themselves at one end of the phone, dizzy with fever and begging for a day off to simply be sick and have the time to regain our health? Previous employers I have had have grilled me during these early morning phone calls, making me describe my symptoms in intricate detail, making me feel as if I'm begging for a stay of execution. I have never abused my paid sick days. I follow the guidelines that the schools send home in the beginning of the year newsletters. I stay home if I have a fever, or if I am so obviously contagious I will spread the virus, or if I am so sick, I will not be able to do my job. I mean, isn’t that what it’s all about? Keeping your employees healthy so that they can provide the proper care for the children? It makes sense to me. Employers: Provide your nanny with paid sick days so when the flu and viruses strike, as they tend to do during this cold and flu season, they can stay at home and convalesce without guilt or worse - worry about bills and rent. Trust me – fever and throwing up and a hacking cough are enough. It was amazing last week to have nothing on my mind but the thoughts of getting over my bug. A Christmas miracle, one might say.
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Rebecca Nelson Lubin is a writer and Nanny who resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. You may read more of her articles at http://www.abandofwives.ning.com/

Should Nanny Confront Employer about E-mail?

Received Friday, December 31, 2010
I have been working for this current family for two years. I take care of 5 kids ages 2 months to 10. I had started with 3 and they have since had the twins. Before I started working for them they had a crazy nanny!!! She was always doing something to endanger the children and then she came to work on three separate occasions high. They felt bad for her at first because of her home life but then decided enough was enough and let her go.

Since I started working for them I have not gotten many complaints except for the fact that the house isn't always spotless, but I blow it of and try a little harder because really five kids? Nothing is going to be spotless. Especially when I'm the only person that works for them. I am already working 10 hour days, doing school drop offs and pick up, activity drives, baths, dinner and bedtimes. I feel bad that the house isn't always perfect but i can't help it.

Anyway today I got on the computer to look up something for the 10 year old when I found an email sent to my boss comparing me and the old nanny. She said I was insecure and lazy. That the house was never clean and that while I'm great with the kids she wasn't sure I was the best match for them anymore. Meanwhile she is singing the other nanny's praises because the house was always spotless. I'm sorry but isn't the purpose of being a nanny to care for the children and not the house? My charges are always clean, well fed, and always taken to their various activities. When we are home I never turn the tv on. I play with them, help with homework, and supervise their piano practicing. As for insecurity, that isn't the first time she has said something like that. She thinks my wearing sweats or jeans and a shirt means I am insecure. That isn't the case. I just like to be comfortable. When I'm out with my husband or friends I always dress up!

What should I do? Should I confront her about this? Or should I just let it go?

The Name Game

Received Friday, December 31, 2010
My bosses just gave birth and named their daughter the name that I was going to name my future daughter. They took the whole name (first and middle). I feel hurt because I told the mom months ago how much I loved that name and was attached to it. Now I will be caring for a child that has the name I have been dreaming of for YEARS for my child... Am I right to be upset? I haven't said anything to the parents and don't plan on it. What's done is done.

Nanny Feels Like a Doormat...

Received Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I am a 22-year-old returned Peace Corps Volunteer (taught children English in the Philippines) with a degree in English. I have extensive experience with children through my volunteering experiences with the local hospital as well as my teaching. I was hired by a very sweet and loving family to care for their three children and newborn and to organize the house for $12.50 an hour. I had to fight for that wage in the beginning, when they had said that most people doing my work make $10-12 per hour. They also do not help with health insurance nor pay holidays or sick leave. Since I had never been in a nanny position before, I didn't dare go any higher. At first their wonderful personalities made up for the lack of pay, but now I just feel duped.

A few months after I started, the mother began to ask if I would mind doing chores around the house while she didn't need me with the kids. I needed the hours to make a 40 hour work week, so I agreed. Soon after, she fired their weekly maid and I was given a list of tasks to be completed that started as scrubbing the toilets and soon became odd tasks such as touching up the paint, moving furniture, and cleaning out the car (in 30 degree weather). I do not mind picking up after the kids and the expected duties of house cleaning, but the parents have now desisted picking up after themselves, leaving dishes piled in the sink from over the weekend including rotting milk in sippy cups, their dirty clothes piled wherever they change, and diapers thrown everywhere. A week ago, she asked me if I would mind doing something, then immediately answered herself laughingly, "Oh I forgot, you're my assistant, you do what I ask." We have become quite close, but this still ruffled my feathers.

When the holidays began to approach and I was told they would be going on a two week trip, I had to scramble to get enough money together for bills, let alone the expenses of the season. They gave me a $250 bonus and a picture that the wife took of me at my wedding. Very generous, but still a challenge to make rent. I know they have the funds, I just don't think that I am on the agenda. My grandmother bought a plane ticket to come spend a week with me after hearing that I would not be working and I scheduled my graduate school exam during their trip so that I would not interfere with their schedule. They decided to come back a week earlier, however, and have been quite peeved that I am not available to go to their house to work. I am a famed doormat at times and this leaves me questioning if I am being taken advantage of. I would love anyone's two cents (believe me, my piggy bank's empty).

Snowbound

Received Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Winter has hit New England hard in the past two days and have left me dreading work. I work for a nice family with an angel for a child but lately I've been waking up wishing I didn't have to go into work.When the weather is nice we are out most of the day because I can't stand staying in. Since this winter weather is leaving us with little options for outdoor fun, I've been feeling trapped.

It's a strange feeling to be stuck inside all day in someone else's home. I try to stay busy and keep the baby entertained but I get these spurts of uneasiness. All I want to do is be in the comfort of my own home. I feel that after two years I should be comfortable in my employers home. They are very welcoming and have made it clear that their home is mine while at work but I can't shake the feeling. I was wondering if anyone else had these feelings and what can be done to ease my anxiety.

Trying to Move Forward...

Received Monday, December 27, 2010
I need some advice on something I have never dealt with before in my career as a nanny. I worked for a family starting in September of 2009 until September of 2010. A little background on the job... It was horrible. I LOVED the kids... Adorable, funny, sometimes a hand full! But the parents were awful people. They basically acted like their lives were too busy to raise their own kids (which I know a lot of us nannies are used to seeing) and that everyone should help them. Not only that but they treated me (and ANY other family "helper") like a slave! I worked 6am-6pm Monday-Friday (some weekends as well) with not even a thank you or appreciative comment... EVER. The kids were fine with me but they were totally rotten with their parents (Who would still have me work a full day on their days off). They had HORRID sleeping habits so they were tired all day most days. So my point is, the parents are crappy at parenting on top of everything else.

In August of 2010 the family let me know that they would have to let me go because one of the parents took an "hour cut" at work. I said okay and didn't question anything (even though both parents are doctors) and took my severance a week before my contract was up and left. I went to visit the kids a couple of times but once I started my new position it was hard to find much time to physically stop by. So I would email asking about the kids with little or no response from the parents.

About a month and a half ago a nanny friend of mine went to a story time in our area and called me saying she saw my former charges there... with what looked to be a new nanny! So the next week I went to the story time with her and sure enough, there they were. I talked to the nanny and she started the week after I left and works EXACTLY the same hours I used to. She knew nothing of the kids Dad having an hour cut at work... In fact, she said he works ALL THE TIME. I was SO incredibly hurt by this that I felt I had to confront the parents... so I did. They had nothing to say accept that they had no intensions of hurting my feelings but she was just "much cheaper" for them. I think my mouth hung open for a good minute when I read this!!! They told me that the new nanny started as a "mother/father's helper" and that it evolved from there. So, I took it for what it was worth and decided I would believe them. I told the kids Mom that I hoped to see the kids at story time now that my new charge and I would be attending.

Well now 3 weeks have gone by and the kids and new nanny have not shown up to story time. I get the feeling that they are trying to keep me from talking to the new nanny which in turn makes me think they were lying about the new nanny. In all my visits and emails, they NEVER once mention a new nanny or "mother's helper"... whatever you want to call it! I also had asked about visiting to bring the kids Christmas gifts and got no response. Should I keep trying to be involved with this family? I LOVE and miss the kids very much but there is really nothing I can do if the parents are not going to give me the time of day. I have such great relationship with my other 2 past families that I just can't grasp why these people would keep me from at least visiting their kids once a month or two. After all, I did care for them more than they did for a whole year!!! It just hurts and I am wondering ifany of you fellow nannies have had this happen to you? I know it is part of the job to move on from families but I will really miss those kids...

Over all it was a HUGE blessing to have to move on from that family... I work for a new family that have already shown me more appreciation in 4 months than I got in the whole year! It is just hard moving on from the little ones we spend so much time with. Any thoughts or similar experiences would be much appreciated.

Do you recognize this daycare?

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Police are asking for the public’s help in identifying a daycare in Escambia or Santa Rosa counties that was attended by a child considered to be endangered. The photographs are believed to have been taken between 2005 and 2010 at a daycare facility in Florida's Escambia or Santa Rosa counties. Pensacola Police Department investigators have said the facility may or may not still be in operation.
Detective Chris Wilkinson said the child is believed to have been three to four years of age when photographed at the facility. The reason why investigators are searching for the child is not being released.
Wilkinson said employees of the daycare facility are not believed to be involved in criminal activity. “The goal of releasing the photographs is to try and help identify the female child who attended or attends the facility,” Wilkinson said. “We are hoping that by identifying the facility, we can show employees the child’s photograph and possibly learn the child’s identity.”
Anyone who believes they can identify the daycare facility from the photographs is asked to contact Detective Chris Wilkinson at (850) 432-3140, ext. 1103, or the Pensacola Police Department at (850) 435-1900

Survey Says

Sunday, December 26, 2010

186 people voted and here are the responses.

Nannies, how much do you spend on gifts for your charges and/or employers for the holidays

Merry Christmas!

CL-WTF and our Guest Column will run following the Holiday weekend.
Have a wonderful Christmas and be safe!

Nanny Rant #71

Tuesday, December 21, 2010
 "Here is my rant and I am sticking to it. Things I will not miss about being a nanny:

Working with kids has afforded me some of life's simplest and most complex pleasures all in one gooey mess of a time. I will be forever grateful to the lessons the children have taught me as I move into the next phase of my life. Lately, it has been difficult to remember these gifts as my frustration gets the better of me. I am ready to move on.

It all started a few months back when the father was home while I played with the kids. I was giggling that one of them thought I had to do what they said and was very adamant about it. As I laughed and explained to the dad he says " No kiddo she has to do what we say, like your brother." Insert appalled face here. Did he just say that I have to do what they say, just like a 10 month old? Ahem. I was taken by surprise with this statement but tried to remain calm and switch my attention to the children. It was a statement of ignorance more than malice after all. Dad is a bit of a fruit loop.

That day started us down the path to Pissed Off Nanny Ln. I know I should have addressed it right there but there were other mitigating factors that made me think it best to zip it for that moment. Now the moment has passed and it is best I just suck it up. I am finishing up some education that will enable me to move on and while the prospect is a welcome one- it has also shined some light on the things I will not miss about this position or nannying in general.

Parents please take heed: If your child is sick, the proper thing to do is let the nanny know in advance what to expect. You would do this for a family member coming to watch the kids so how does it vary simply because you are paying someone to do it? They have a right to know the kid is puking, pooping liquid and coughing up green monsters. We might like to take some extra supplements ya know? Some of us might also like to know that we could be about to contract the swine flu from your little angel so we better add a 'maybe' to our weekend plans. Seriously, a little consideration please. If you really want a gold star how about throwing in some extra money for sick pay? Doesn't quite seem fair that we come and take care of your kids while you take care of more pressing issues only to donate our weekends to the cause treating our new illness. For those with immune systems of steel- move along, nothing to see here...

I will not miss being informed that I will be working somewhere else last minute. Just because we do a nanny share doesn't mean you can move us around like chess pieces. (Maybe some of you pay your nanny enough to move her like a chess piece?) Either way it is rude. And just so you know, suggesting what you want to happen and ending with the caveat 'as long as it is OK with you' is not the same thing as including us in a discussion. It makes it uncomfortable to say 'well, actually this arrangement is a lot more work for me and I would rather not deal with any more drama this week than is already scheduled.'

If you can not afford a nanny- go to day care. It is not a right to have someone come into your house to take care of your children. It is a luxury and should be treated as such. I do not want to hear about how you can not afford to pay me half of my regular rate when you decide to stay home from work for whatever reason. My bills do not go away because you do. Also, to those parents who hire a nanny without budgeting in the cost, what the hell is wrong with you? I have actually had a family let me go (after I gave notice at another job to work with them exclusively) because the mom had a shopping addiction and they could not afford me AND her shopping habit. Blech. Enough said.

And I just have to ask- is there some sick pleasure that comes from hearing your baby cry for you or what? If you know the child has separation anxiety and you draw out your exit, coming back in for a pen, waltzing in throughout the day to grab a coffee cause you work close, you should know: that is about as cool as a boiling colonic. This morning mom actually came back into the room after the child was calmed down and prepared for a day with nanny just to tussle his hair and let him suck her boob for a minute. WTF? He was calm/happy and now beside himself. Thanks. I know you can rationalize and say that this is merely a strong parental need to touch baby and not some shitty game but give me a break. You know he is sad when you leave, you know coming in and leaving immediately is going to get him going. It is clear: He misses you, he loves you, you are the center of his universe. Yea! Now can you kindly get the hell out of the way and let me do my job? It is especially bothersome when one of the parents is acutely aware of this yet uses it as a passive aggressive tactic when they are unhappy about something.

And finally, I will not miss being subjected to your filthy house. Moldy toilets, stinky cat box, experimental fridge, overflowing compost and crusty floors no more. You seem embarrassed about it but not enough to clean up after yourself or hire someone to help. I'd have more understanding if you worked for a living or did this all on your own. The last laugh is your kids will be equally as messy and you get to live in that squalor from here on out. I do not. Perhaps after we have parted ways you will realize just how much a skilled nanny brings to the table. Maybe you wont. No matter really. Know this though: I am teetering on the edge of a big f*ck off and if you press me I'm liable to flip the switch.

Can you tell I am feeling bitter today? Just trying to process and get through it like the rest of you. Thanks for listening. I do not really need advise or to be chided for being a judgmental butthole. I know ;P

Happy Holidays!"

Follow up to Seneca Park in Chicago

Tuesday, December 21, 2010
 On Monday, 12/20. the mother of the children described in this ISYN sighting post contacted the blog requesting additional information. I contacted the person who submitted the sighting and passed on the mother's contact information. The poster telephoned the children's mother. Below is a follw up as submitted by the mother of the children involved.

"I am the mother of the children. I recently found this website by accident, while performing a Google search for Borders on Michigan Avenue. I am shocked and horrified by the actions of our former nanny and also shocked and horrified by some of the reactions towards the person that posted the information. First, about our former nanny. She no longer works for us because she gave birth to her first child about five months after this was posted. In our presence, she was loving and attentive. She even named her son the same name as our baby. So it was with complete shock to read about her actions. After having spoken to the person that posted the information, I believe every single word. She described the time of day, the clothing, the actions, and has many other pictures to back up the information. The information as posted is undoubtedly true. We live in Chicago, in a safe part of Chicago. That park is across the street from where we live and it is also across the street from the Ritz Carlton. The Park Hyatt, Peninsula, Four Seasons and many of Chicago's priciest and posh hotels, condominiums, shopping and restaurants are all within a few blocks radius of this park. The Museum of Contemporary Art is directly east. Even so, there are homeless people hanging out on the benches in front of the park. Some passed out drunk. Or high. It only takes an instant for tragedy to strike, much less TWO hours. There is NO excuse for her behavior - our older son could have been abducted or injured, our younger son should not have been left alone to cry a foot away from her. No, it was not me who was texting her. I don't believe so, but even if this was the one and only time she neglected to watch and care for our children, once is enough. She was paid the market rate for two children in Chicago, even though she primarily only watched our younger son, as our older son attends school. I don't wish any ill will on any mother, but I do believe things have a way of going around. Anyone that mistreats children will get a reckoning in due time. Perhaps now that she is a mother, she will realize how horrific and reprehensible her actions were. In hindsight, I should have known that anything too good IS too good to be true. She seemed like such a loving and caring person, but I believe that was a ruse. A cover-up to hide her true behavior. The stereotypical wonderful nanny in front of the parents, but the worst when alone - selfish, lazy and not to be trusted. Now, about the person who posted the information. I WISH she could have found me. In this day and age of "bystander effect" when no one bothers to help others in need (see video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIvGIwLcIuw ) THANK GOD that she helped my sons, that she tried to find me, that she posted this info. THANK GOD nothing happened to either one of them. This park is located in between two busy streets and Michigan Avenue (a 6 (SIX) lane major avenue) is directly west of this park. Even if our son was not injured in the park, even if no one abducted him, even if he just accidentally wandered out of the park, he could have nearly certainly been injured in the traffic. There should be more people in this world like the person that posted the information. She should get nothing but praise and gratitude for her actions. She went out of her way to help my children - complete strangers. What if it were your children? I hope that anyone that witnesses such behavior will also do the right thing and try to help. I didn't know this website existed. The person that runs this website should also be praised. All working mothers should be grateful for this website. A heartfelt THANK YOU, to both of you."

Send your nanny sightings to isawyournanny@aol.com or MppISYN2010@aol.com.

Holiday Bonus Feature 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

Bonus this year (2010): promisory note
Weekly Salary: $15 per hour, average of 38 hours. (about $570)
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: let's see, my employers got a dog this year and then decided he was too dirty and too messy, so they dropped the dog off at the Humane society. They had the best intentions however, because they had loaded the dog up on leashes, collars, brushes and dog beds. My supplementary gift? She put all of the "leftover" dog stuff in a basket with a BLUE bow and said, "oh there's something else for you on the counter". The way she said it made me think it would be a flat screen television. Thank goodness, I do atleast, have a dog!
Length of time I have worked for the family: 9 months
City, State: Westchester County, NY
*The promisory note is based on the "fact" that my employer does not get her bonus until January. This is very offensive to me because, I don't imagine it's going to be generous, so they just have me waiting for the sake of waiting. Power and control, ladies.


Bonus this year (2010): $1500 check
Weekly Salary: $500 per weekend. I only work 2-3 weekends per month on account of a custodial arrangement, but I get paid every weekend.
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: flip video camera and Macpro, $100 I tunes gift certificate and $300 Nordstroms gift certificate.
Length of time I have worked for the family: About a year and a half
City, State: East Coast


Bonus this year (2010): My holiday bonus is a gift worth $250-$300
Salary: My salary is about 300-350/week (from the family) and $175-225/week paid by an agency.
Length you have been with the family: I have been with the family for 2.5 years
City & State: Denver, CO
I get 3 bonuses a year, 2 are gifts (one around the holidays, described above and between $75-$100 for my birthday) and then I get another $200 every year on the date I started the job. They've been awesome and I feel totally appreciated! Especially coming from families that gave me no more than something really small or a card made by the kids. I was shocked the first year they gave me such a nice gift!


Bonus this year (2010): A one hundred dollar bill stuffed in a "you graduated" money holder.
Your weekly salary: 674.29 after taxes
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: Nothing!
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 11 months
City, State and Country: Harrison, NY
*I am the only nanny I know of in my area that didn't get atleast a week's pay as a bonus.


Bonus this year (2010): $1000 cash
Your weekly salary: minimum $650/week but often with a few hours of overtime, usually around $700/week
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: a small gift to open from the kids
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 18 months
City, State and Country: Chicago IL


Bonus this year (2010): $500
Nanny's Weekly Salary: $800 for 42 hours
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: Three extra days off
Length of Time you have employed the nanny: 3 months
City, State and Country: NY, NY
* The last two nannies I had were so good, many days I can hardly stand the site of this one. Her days are numbered. If I had my way, she would have gotten no bonus. She can thank my husband for going to bat for her. After all, we need her until we find someone better.


Bonus this year (2010): 1 weeks salary
Your Weekly Salary: $150 for a 15 hour work week
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: A silver necklace that momboss made for me (she designs jewelry)
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: almost 4 months
City, State and Country: Chattanooga, TN
I have only worked for this family for a short time but we have a great relationship. Their gift was so thoughtful and personal; the mom had to have decided to make it some time ago while I was still a new employee. I take care of their one 7 month old daughter part time and as both parents are self employed, I spend a lot of time with them. I got a gift for them and a few gifts for my charge as well. I'm thankful to have found such a great family to work for.


Bonus this year (2010): one weeks pay: 600 dollars
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus:a bottle of very good wine, a gift bag of high end hand care items, scrub, lotion, nightcream, nail polish, 50 dollar gift card for movie theater, Pics of baby in a bound album and a beautiful card that expressed how much the loved me and were grateful I was there for their baby.
Location: Chicago, City Northside
Length of time with family: Been with the family 2 months
The card was the best gift!!


Bonus this year (2010): $500
Weekly Salary: $680 for 40 hours
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: iPhone 4 and a case for it
Length of time I have worked for the family: 1 year and 4 months
City, State: Newton, Massachusetts


Bonus this year (2010): $1,000
Weekly Salary: $775 for 34 hours
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: I work for an artist. She gave me a painting. I think it was the painting that was rejected by one of her clients. She made a big tada of it. (Note to employers, your nanny knows what goes on in your house. We know what is new and not new and intended for someone else!). I don't like the artwork. I don't have a place for an eight foot painting and if a supplementary gift was supposed to be thoughtful, this wasn't.
Length of time I have worked for the family: 1 year and 10 months
City, State: Westchester County, NY


Bonus this year (2010): one week, $650
Weekly Salary: $650
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: a digital photo frame that I believe was a regift.
Location: Westchester, NY
Length of time with family: Been with the family3 years, 8 months!
* I used to make $750 a week. I took a paycut when my bosses cried economy about 18 months ago. I did not get an anual raise this year. I did not even get an appreciatable bonus. I am a good nanny. The fact that I have been here almost four years should shout that! Two years ago, my boss got me a very expensive jacket, ice skates, a GPS system for my car and a watch. They still make sure to mention their money woes, but when they travel, it's five stars all the way. I feel like I am being taken advantage of and treated like I am dumb.


Bonus this year (2010): $200
Your weekly salary: $13/hour with no guaranteed hours.
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: A picture frame with a picture of the kids (which I LOVED), A comfy sweatshirt (because I was complaining I only had a few to wear to work) and a comfy throw for the new home my fiance and I just bought. They also gave my fiance a nice bottle of red wine. They put my bonus in a Christmas card with the most sweet sentimental stuff in it, it made me cry!
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 1 year, 2 months.
City, State and Country: Dana Point, California
I am VERY happy with my gifts/bonus! My boss told me that her and her husband have a $100 limit for each other for Christmas gifts because both of them had to take a pay cut this year. The fact that they are doing without so that their kids and I can have an amazing Christmas means more to me than the actual gifts themselves! I have the most thoughtful employers and for the first time in my 9 year nanny career, I actually feel like a valued family member! I couldn't ask for anything better!


Bonus this year (2010): $1700
Your Weekly Salary:$850
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: $640 worth of personal training through a special at my gym - NOT their idea, i told them i had signed up and they asked to reimburse me as my gift!
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 4 months - taught their oldest 1 year before nannying for them
City, State and Country: Wheaton, IL, USA
This family asked me to come nanny for them, leaving a job teaching at my local park district - I couldn't be happier with the situation! The parents are respectful, supportive, and kind, and I love the kids - 4 of them, with the oldest aged 6. I truly hit the jackpot with this job!


Bonus this year (2010): $2500
Your Weekly Salary: $1200/wk
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: My boss helped me find an apartment near where she lives that I could afford and as a Christmas gift, she took me on the 15th to go shopping for furnishings. I didn't know what to expect. She bought me a sofa, dining room table set, queen sized bed, dresser, bed side table, two lamps, a chair for the living room, a chair for the bed room, a vacuum cleaner, a set of dishes, 2 sets of silverware, a set of expensive pots and pans and a desk! After all of this, I was not expecting ANY Christmas bonus.
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 2 years, 2 months.
City, State and Country: NYC


Part Time Nanny
Bonus this year (2010): $150
Your Weekly Salary: $225 (15 hr/wk)
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: their Christmas card with a very sweet note about how much they appreciate me, and some brownies. And- this isn't explicitly part of my bonus- but I'm a college student and they've been VERY flexible with how my schedule will be changing next semester.
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: Since Sept '10
City, State and Country: Port Washington, NY, USA
Given that I am part time and have only been working for them since September, I was surprised at how generous their bonus was. I absolutely love this family though, and this is just another reason why!


Bonus this year (2010): NOTHING!
Your weekly salary: 900 before taxes (for 50 hours a week)
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: NONE!
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 6 Months
City, State and Country: Portland, Oregon
*Like I said above, I have worked for this family for only 6 months, but over these months we have developed a very close relationship. I even purchased expensive Christmas gifts for them, and expected at least a small token of appreciation in return. Well okay, let's be honest, what I really wanted was a weeks salary, which is pretty standard in the nanny industry. It has nothing to do with the economy, as they are rolling in the dough. I always go over and beyond the call of duty, often doing the families dishes, laundry and housekeeping, which is definitely not a part of my job description. I work very long hours, and spend more time with the baby when she is awake than the mother does. The fact of the matter is, I felt very under appreciated before,and this is just the straw that has broken the camels back. It's time to find a new job.


Bonus this year (2010): $0
Your weekly salary: $400 per week
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: Nothing
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 4 months
City, State and Country: Durham, NC USA
Received my final pay today. I didn't even get my full pay because of the snow they weren't going to pay me for the days they decided to stay home to be with their children. No severance. Just a check for less than the amount I should have been paid.


Bonus this year (2010): 600
Your weekly salary: 400 for 30 hours a week monday - friday (8 hours monday - thursday and 4 hours on Friday)
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: My work family has ornaments made and given out as gifts. Also got a 100 dollar Starbucks card and a Nook from Barnes and Noble. (That I can't open till Christmas day breakfast over at their house.)
Length of Time you have worked for the Family: 2 years and 2 months
City, State and Country: San Antonio, Texas USA


Bonus this year (2010): $500
Your weekly salary: $250 (Part-time nanny)
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: Clothing and a bunch of gifts and perks throughout the year-gift certificates, more clothing, and housewares.
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 8 months
City, State and Country: Portland, OR, United States
The best bonus is that I love working for this family and they treat me like I am a part of their family.


Bonus this year (2010): $700 (this amount has been given to me every year for about 3 years)
Your weekly salary:$700, working 55 hours a week as housemanager, nanny and personal assistant
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: none
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: almost 6 years
City, State and Country: Savannah, Ga
Comment: I must say, I am happy to have received a weeks worth of pay as my bonus, but I also expected a little more this year. I have been working for them for almost 6 years and I am pregnant with my first child (7months along). My husband has not had a job for several months now, so they know that we are having financial difficulties. We are very close (the dad even walked me down the aisle at my wedding), so I am just a little dissappointed that I got the same amount of bonus as every year and no supplementary gifts (something for the baby would have been very thoughtful).
It was also my birthday about a month ago and mom told me she would get around buying me a giftcard to babiesrus (i choose between that and a spa giftcard she offered). Needless to say, I have not received the giftcard yet and was kinda expecting it to be given with the bonus.
All in all, I am happy to have gotten a bonus at all, which will help pay some of the bills.

Share your bonus by emailing Jane at isawyournanny@aol.com with all the details.

CL-WTF

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Baby Sitter Wanted (New York)
SEEKING PT ONE DAY PER WEEK BABY SITTER WHO IS FEMALE AND GOD WITH A 3 YEAR OLD. PLEASE TELL WHO YOU ARE SO MY KID CAN HELP ME CHOOSE YOU THANKS. 10 PER HOUR 1 DAY PER WEEK 4 HORE MIN.
URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/dmg/2117048509.html
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Special thanks to the following Readers for thier Contribution this week: Betty Spaghetti, brookeelizabeth, MissDee, proctorhome, Jacqui, Ladybug1212 and noenanny... all of you did an awesome job! Please send next weeks Ads to: MppISYN2010@aol.com or use MEEBO. Don't forget to include the Links and the Body of the text, if possible! Thank you!

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I swear to God Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus!

Rebecca Nelson Lubin

I was thrown for a loop this week when my little charge, who, by the way is celebrating his forth birthday today, Friday, December 17th, announced in his bubble bath Monday night that he no longer believes in Santa Claus. I asked him what had made him reach such a huge conclusion at such a young age, and he basically explained that he was finding the entire idea somewhat…implausible.

“No one can really live at the North Pole,” he reasoned, “it’s too cold there!”

I went into spin mode like Hollywood publicists set afire.

“That’s why he wears the red fur suit!” I insisted, “to keep him warm!”

“Also I saw a guy in a Santa suit at Safeway,” he went on. “He was a fake Santa. There are a lot of fake Santa’s. There is no real Santa.”

“Those are his HELPERS!” I said, “The REAL Santa has HELPERS all over the world! Because he’s busy at the North Pole making Christmas presents! He’s probably making you a toy train right now!”

“Besides,” the boy went on like a small little litigator covered in lavender scented bubbles, “Reindeer can’t fly. They don’t have wings.”

“They fly by MAGIC. MAGIC makes the reindeer fly!”

He made a that funny little sound he’s been doing lately, the one that sounds somewhat like a fourteen year old guy saying “Sheesh, ” but leaving out the “s” and the “h” at the end because they are fourteen and lazy and totally smarter than you are.

I have been faced with this moment many times in my career as a Nanny, the magical moment where the children reach that magical age of reason and realize truth for truth and fiction for fiction and can’t wait to let you know that they have figured it out and joined you on the adult side of the shore of the childhood sea full of fairy tales that we feed them. Once on an overnight with Reni who was eight then but now is a twenty-three year old beauty, she confessed that recently she had snooped into a drawer of her mothers and found a little box full of her baby teeth. Weepy, she asked me, “Does this mean there is no Tooth Fairy?”

I suggested that perhaps her mother had a secret deal with the Tooth Fairy in which she had contracted to pay a higher fee in order to keep the baby teeth as mementos, and the follow up conversation with her mother gave Reni a greater respect for grownup’s privacy, as well as a sad farewell to the myth of the Tooth Fairy. She was eight, a respectable age for letting go of folklore. But my little charge was only three years and three hundred sixty one days old when he announced he was done with the whole silly Santa business!

“Who do you think puts the presents under the tree?” I asked him.

“Mom and Dad,” he replied, deadpan.

Maybe it is my memories of the thrill of laying awake and listening for Santa on Christmas Eve that makes me want him to keep believing. I can remember being six and totally convinced that Santa would come into my house through the trapdoor to the roof of our Queens duplex that was only accessible through my parent’s closet. I remember that I whispered to my brother, “I think I hear the reindeer!” I remember the sound that I thought was the Reindeer, like acorns falling on the roof. ..or possibly hoofs scraping. And I remember how wonderful it felt. I know I’m not ready to let him let go of that yet. But it’s not really up to me.

I picked him up from school two days after the Santa discussion, and he announced as I buckled him into his car seat that he had thought over the concept of the Tooth Fairy, and thought that one was full of baloney as well.

“So,” I said, “Who do you suppose leaves the money under your pillow?”

“The Mom.” He said.
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Rebecca Nelson Lubin is a writer and Nanny who resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. You may read more of her articles at http://www.abandofwives.ning.com/

Sportech in Rye, NY

Received Friday, December 17, 2010
Nanny growing impatient with child, blonde, brown eyes, large, regular build. Child may have had ADD. He was not listening to nanny in the store. She left holding his black and grey jacket really tightly. The nanny is jamaican as i heard her accent and could tell. She was wearing a white sweater with pearls on the collar. She has a very defined jaw line, wore no make up and had a strange hair style where her bangs looked like they were permed but the rest of her hair was slick to her head. That is all i have. Poor little boy. Besides his black and grey jacket and blond hair, i didnt notice much else about him. Sportech in rye, ny. I saw her bend over and say something to him but could not hear it. He started crying. I saw them again at family discount about ten minutes later and i saw her grab the child by his head to take him away from to toy aisle.

Nanny Bibi near Lincoln Center in NYC

Received Friday, December 17, 2010
I work at a retail establishment on Broadway near Lincoln Center and constantly see a barrage of nannies when we first open in the morning. The shop I work for is NOT a grocery store, nor it is a children's toy or clothing store, so I see no reason for these women to be here while at work. One in particular seems to be there every morning, ready to hunt down a bargain (those don't really exist at this store) and is constantly harassing the employees about older items, attempting to get a major deal. On tuesday, she was in the store with her charge, a blonde boy, who is usually sleeping or happily munching on cheerios; this day, however he seemed to be in a very bad mood, and kept whining that his ears hurt. She shopped around the store for no less than an hour, while the boy cried the entire time. A coworker asked her if there was anything wrong, and she shot us a side eye and said no. She argued with myself and another manager about getting further discounts on some old picture frames.... we could barely think with the sound of the boy screaming about how he wanted to go home. As predicted, she asked that we hold her bags until later that day (presumably because she shouldn't be shopping while watching your child) and gave us her name: "Bibi". If you are paying this woman to watch your child, I'd re- think what you're paying for. If you think this is your nanny, please contact the blog for the nanny's last name.

Recognizing Great Childcare

Received Friday, December 17, 2010

Location: Philadelphia, PA
Childcare Provider: PreSchool Plus
I know this blog is primarily for nanny sightings and issues, but there are a lot of wonderful day care providers out there, and I wanted to take a moment to appreciate ours. We have three kids under 4, all of which attend daycare at PreSchool Plus. The facilities are not the most impressive in the world, but the caregivers are WONDERFUL. I can't say how many times I have shown up to see my kids snuggling in a caregiver's lap being read a story or seen them run to give a hug or a "high five" to their favorite teacher in the morning. It is a true gift to be able to go to work knowing that my kids will be taken care of by such good people.

Holiday Bonus Survey

Monday, December 13, 2010
We are compiling our annual holiday bonus feature. Please send your information in as soon as possible. What do we want to know? Look here.
Additionally and always, we need nanny sightings and content from nannies for the blog. Share a story or photo.
 
Acknowledge a good nanny that you know. Employers, share a nanny horrror story. Email isawyournanny@aol.com . All submissions are confidential, unless you specifically request that they not be.

It's a Small World

Received Monday, December 13, 2010
Omigosh! I have a little bit of a dilemma here and I need the solid advice of both nannies and parents alike. This situation is kinda weird and it may sound like I made it up, but honest to God it is the truth. Just another reminder of the small world we all live in.

Anyway, I had a job about 2 weeks back that I found on Sittercity. To make a long story short, I only stayed two days with that family and left abruptly. Yes, unprofessional, but honestly I could not give any notice because the parents totally blamed me for everything plus the working environment had already turned hostile. Basically, they misrepresented the job to me. They said they would only give me minimal house chores while the baby slept (i.e., cleaning baby's bottles, dishes, toys, clothes, linens, etc.) during the interview, yet once on the job, they had me doing their own laundry, cleaning the kitchen & bathroom, walking the dog, etc. So while I remained civil to them, I also told them I could not continue the position effective immediately and would not be returning since they misrepresented my duties.

Flash forward to today. I was recently hired for a new position (yeah!) with a much nicer family. They assured me I wouldn't have any other duties that did not pertain to the child and even had the duties drawn up into a Nanny/Parent contract that we both signed today. Well after talking to the family a little about their jobs and where they worked, it turns out the Dad boss works at the same exact company and has the same type of work of my former Dad boss. Now this may not mean anything and they may never mention anything about nannies at work, but I am worried they may know each other since they both are around the same age, are of the same ethnicity and culture and hold similar work positions. When if my new Dad boss mentions one day how they just found a great nanny, etc..blah, blah, blah and then tells this other guy all about her (me.) After doing some talking, they both come to realize it is the same person!! Then my former Dad boss will tell this new family how I left abruptly plus he may say other bad (untrue) stuff about me because he was angry at me for not being happy with my job.

When I interviewed with my new family, I never mentioned this other job since it was only for 2 days and didn't end well. I simply said I was looking for a job and had been unemployed since Nov. 13th (when I left my other long-term position..on great terms by the way, the little girl I watched started pre-school.) If they find out from this other worker that I just left and other negative stuff, do they have a right to be mad that I didn't tell them about it? I mean, would you guys? At the time of our interview, I seriously didn't see why I should. Do you think if they do find out, they will believe the other guy (former Dad boss) and fire me? Even if weeks have passed and I have a chance to prove to them what a great Nanny I am? Should I mention to them before I start my job (in a week) so that I appear trustworthy and honest?? Please help. Thanks so much in advance guys.

CL-WTF

.... What?!

Feature:
1) Childcare and Transportation Needed (Chicago)
Seeking an attractive, open minded, woman with an outgoing personality and great legs to provide childcare for my 2 daughters, ages 12 & 14. English as your primary language is preferred but not required. Usual weekday duties include local transportation to school and athletic activities, light domestic including preparation of small meals and management of the completion of homework responsibilities. A well maintained late model vehicle and valid driver's license are required.

The days and times vary based on school and athletic schedules, but generally have been 3 to 4 days M-F with total hours between 10 to 15 during any given week. Typical times range from 4 pm to 7:30 pm and in some instances may be as late as 11 pm. Weekends and overnight are required on a very infrequent basis.

If you are interested and qualified for this unique role, please provide a statement of your qualifications, have ready references and please provide a picture with your response.
URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/dmg/2085487696.html
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Wow! Some really awesome Ads this week! Special thanks to anjul.of.grace for our Feature! Also, a BIG thank you to the following Contributors... nannybee, Betty Spaghetti, Rose, MayDay, MissDee, Krupitzerb, afnt81, Jacqui, SupperNanny212 and Krossi2009... all of you did a fantastic job! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. Don't forget to include the Links and the Body of the text, if possible! Thank you!

TO READ THE REST OF CL-WTF: CLICK HERE!