Tuesday, December 21, 2010
"Here is my rant and I am sticking to it. Things I will not miss about being a nanny:
Working with kids has afforded me some of life's simplest and most complex pleasures all in one gooey mess of a time. I will be forever grateful to the lessons the children have taught me as I move into the next phase of my life. Lately, it has been difficult to remember these gifts as my frustration gets the better of me. I am ready to move on.
It all started a few months back when the father was home while I played with the kids. I was giggling that one of them thought I had to do what they said and was very adamant about it. As I laughed and explained to the dad he says " No kiddo she has to do what we say, like your brother." Insert appalled face here. Did he just say that I have to do what they say, just like a 10 month old? Ahem. I was taken by surprise with this statement but tried to remain calm and switch my attention to the children. It was a statement of ignorance more than malice after all. Dad is a bit of a fruit loop.
That day started us down the path to Pissed Off Nanny Ln. I know I should have addressed it right there but there were other mitigating factors that made me think it best to zip it for that moment. Now the moment has passed and it is best I just suck it up. I am finishing up some education that will enable me to move on and while the prospect is a welcome one- it has also shined some light on the things I will not miss about this position or nannying in general.
Parents please take heed: If your child is sick, the proper thing to do is let the nanny know in advance what to expect. You would do this for a family member coming to watch the kids so how does it vary simply because you are paying someone to do it? They have a right to know the kid is puking, pooping liquid and coughing up green monsters. We might like to take some extra supplements ya know? Some of us might also like to know that we could be about to contract the swine flu from your little angel so we better add a 'maybe' to our weekend plans. Seriously, a little consideration please. If you really want a gold star how about throwing in some extra money for sick pay? Doesn't quite seem fair that we come and take care of your kids while you take care of more pressing issues only to donate our weekends to the cause treating our new illness. For those with immune systems of steel- move along, nothing to see here...
I will not miss being informed that I will be working somewhere else last minute. Just because we do a nanny share doesn't mean you can move us around like chess pieces. (Maybe some of you pay your nanny enough to move her like a chess piece?) Either way it is rude. And just so you know, suggesting what you want to happen and ending with the caveat 'as long as it is OK with you' is not the same thing as including us in a discussion. It makes it uncomfortable to say 'well, actually this arrangement is a lot more work for me and I would rather not deal with any more drama this week than is already scheduled.'
If you can not afford a nanny- go to day care. It is not a right to have someone come into your house to take care of your children. It is a luxury and should be treated as such. I do not want to hear about how you can not afford to pay me half of my regular rate when you decide to stay home from work for whatever reason. My bills do not go away because you do. Also, to those parents who hire a nanny without budgeting in the cost, what the hell is wrong with you? I have actually had a family let me go (after I gave notice at another job to work with them exclusively) because the mom had a shopping addiction and they could not afford me AND her shopping habit. Blech. Enough said.
And I just have to ask- is there some sick pleasure that comes from hearing your baby cry for you or what? If you know the child has separation anxiety and you draw out your exit, coming back in for a pen, waltzing in throughout the day to grab a coffee cause you work close, you should know: that is about as cool as a boiling colonic. This morning mom actually came back into the room after the child was calmed down and prepared for a day with nanny just to tussle his hair and let him suck her boob for a minute. WTF? He was calm/happy and now beside himself. Thanks. I know you can rationalize and say that this is merely a strong parental need to touch baby and not some shitty game but give me a break. You know he is sad when you leave, you know coming in and leaving immediately is going to get him going. It is clear: He misses you, he loves you, you are the center of his universe. Yea! Now can you kindly get the hell out of the way and let me do my job? It is especially bothersome when one of the parents is acutely aware of this yet uses it as a passive aggressive tactic when they are unhappy about something.
And finally, I will not miss being subjected to your filthy house. Moldy toilets, stinky cat box, experimental fridge, overflowing compost and crusty floors no more. You seem embarrassed about it but not enough to clean up after yourself or hire someone to help. I'd have more understanding if you worked for a living or did this all on your own. The last laugh is your kids will be equally as messy and you get to live in that squalor from here on out. I do not. Perhaps after we have parted ways you will realize just how much a skilled nanny brings to the table. Maybe you wont. No matter really. Know this though: I am teetering on the edge of a big f*ck off and if you press me I'm liable to flip the switch.
Can you tell I am feeling bitter today? Just trying to process and get through it like the rest of you. Thanks for listening. I do not really need advise or to be chided for being a judgmental butthole. I know ;P