28 September, 2012

cl-wtf-1-1-2
1) FT nanny in exchange for room and board - (D.C.) Our family is looking for a live-in Nanny (female only!) with room and board provided in exchange for full-time care of a ten month old boy, cooking and light housekeeping. Hours will essentially be Mon-Fri 7am to 7:30pm, your weekends will be free. You will have your own room with private bath, Wifi and satellite amenities, as well as use of the laundry room, family room, backyard (with small pool) and kitchen. You do not even need a bed as we can provide that for you! You will live and eat rent free in exchange for all of the above. This is an ideal opportunity for the right woman. We do not have any ethnicity preference but you will be VERY carefully screened and interviewed. Your own form of transportation would be nice but is not essential. You must NOT smoke, do drugs, or drink alcohol (yes, a glass of wine or beer is ok but NOT when working!) NO overnight guests will be allowed. You MUST be willing to submit to background check, drug screen, pass a physical, and NOT be overweight. We are in need of a woman to essentially become a trusted part of our family. I will be conducting interviews this week. Please call 702-265-****. If I do not answer it is because I'm working so please leave a message with your contact information and I will get back to you.
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

2) Looking for Nanny in Our Home - (VA) Hello, my name is Melissa and we are looking for a full time nanny for our children. Ages are eight, six, five, four, two, and twin 2 month olds. Our eight year old, six year old and five year old are in school so they will rarely be home with you. Our four year old is in a preschool program which is about ten minutes from our house and will need to be dropped off Tues thru Friday at 915 and picked up at 315. They are very well mannered children and on a strict daily schedule. If you are just looking for a "job", please do not bother contacting me. If you genuinely have a love for children and are interested in becoming a part of our family, please call me anytime between the hours of 9am and 9pm daily. The pay will be $40 per day. God bless and have a wonderful weekend!
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Submitted by Erica. Thank you!

3) We need a FT nanny with a pulse! - (N.C.) Care needed for 3 children: 8yo, 5yo, and 3mo old. Must be very energetic as these kids will keep you hopping all day! Duties to include •Playing •Feeding •Changing diapers •Bathing baby •Putting baby down for nap •Cleaning up kid-related messes •Family laundry and ironing •Family cooking (veg and non-veg) •Waiting on table during all family meals •Household work will include dusting, vacuuming and dishes. Requirements for this job are as follows •Recent experience with infants under 6 months •English speaking is necessary; other languages are a plus •CPR certified (or willing to get certified) •TB tested negative and willing to provide medical record of health •Must provide at least 3 references •Willing to have a background check and fingerprints •Punctual, organized, and personable •Legal resident with valid ID. Pay will be $300 a wk to start, one weekend off per month, wage will increase over time depending on the service.
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

4) In need of a nanny ASAP - (Las Vegas) Hi, I'm looking for a nanny to start on Monday. My last nanny up and quit on me without notice and if I don't find a replacement this weekend I will lose my job. The hours will be between 8:00am to 4:00pm. I have two kids, a boy and a girl, 4 and 2. Your welcome to eat anything you like while in my home. I can pay $25 a day. If interested, please e-mail me. Thanks! :)
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

5) You Can't Be Serious!! (Re: In need of a nanny asap) - (LV) I am a respectable, honest, hard-working child care provider who's been working at this job for over 5 years. I make a living off of taking care of your kids. I pay my bills and expenses based off of the rates that my families and I work out. Just like you, I have rent, electricity, a phone bill, a water bill, etc to pay for. So please, explain to me how I'm supposed to support and care for myself and my family with a job that only wants to pay me $25 a day? Let's do some math. I see these "ill pay u $25/day" ads all the time, and most of the time these people expect the child care provider to be able to work 12 hours a day, almost every day, while being "sensitive" to their financial situation. That equals out to 48 cents an hour. Tell me, can YOU live off of 48 cents an hour? Now let's say you really do need some child care, and you really can't pay more than $25 a day. I can be sensitive to that, if you didn't take up my whole damn day with your kids! I could manage $25 a day only working for you for a few hours, but 12 hours? Seriously? Even 8 hours is too much of the day to be able to find good-paying work around the hours you ask me to work. And all those people out there, either agreeing to be paid $25 a day, or asking for something that low, are probably not to be trusted. You hear all those horror stories of junkies or robbers posing as babysitters to steal from you (or worse, steal your kids). Well, I can garuntee no respectable child care provider will go for a pay so low. Now let's talk about these cheapskates who want to hire live-in nannies with room and board, but no pay. Would you like to buy her feminine products for her as well? Or pay her share of the bill when she goes to out to eat with her friends on her off hours? How about paying for the clothes she'll probably need after your kids get something staining all over her old ones? Let's be honest, you won't, and if you did, that would be directly comparable to pimping out a prostitute ("Go and do all this work, and I'll buy you what you need, but only if you ask and only if I like what you need to buy). Yeah, total prostitution. Someone posted a few days ago about how a live-in nanny with no pay is slavery. Well, it is. You may think I'm blowing it out of proportion, but the reality is that women are trafficked into household slavery every day by assholes who think that it's okay to pay her with a room to stay in while she busts her ass caring for your family day and night. If you don't want to do the household work, then you better be willing to PAY someone well enough to do it for you. A room and bathroom doesn't cut it. So here's the point: If you can't afford to take care of your kids, don't have any god damn kids. Understand? It is in no way acceptable to treat others like this, nor is it okay to have others willing to be treated like this taking care of your children.
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

Do you Feel Like your Nanny is Taking Over?

GUEST COLUMNSubmitted by Molly Cunningham
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Ideally, the relationship between a nanny and her employers is one that is close enough that she becomes a valued member of the extended family in addition to being an employee. More often than not, however, a working relationship that gets too close becomes bereft of boundaries, in which nannies feel comfortable assuming far more control than is warranted and parents feel comfortable heaping more responsibility on her than she originally bargained for. If you find yourself in the position of feeling that your nanny is performing more of the tasks that keep your household running and is effectively taking over control of your home, it’s not too late to set those essential boundaries:

1) Institute Family Time – Most nannies understand that family time is just that, so make a production out of instituting a regular game or movie night, or a family outing. Let your nanny know that she’ll have that time off to do as she pleases, which sends a subtle but pointed message that you’re spending time with your children as a family, and that her services aren’t required during bonding time.

2) Relieve Her of Duties That Aren’t Related to Childcare – When your nanny does your laundry, makes your bed, and shops for all of your food, it’s easy for her to begin to feel as if she’s got a stake in the running of your household and justified in making decisions that affect it. Rather than blaming your nanny for the amount of control that you perceive her to have or even outright bossiness on her part, make an effort to narrow the scope of her responsibilities back to where it should be: caring for your children while you’re away.

3) Communicate Your Concerns Respectfully and Calmly – Your nanny has no way of knowing how you feel if you don’t communicate your feelings to her, but these situations can be so fraught with emotion that the conversation spirals out of control and degenerates into a shouting match that ends in tears and possibly the loss of a nanny. Approach the conversation as calmly and reasonably as possible, resisting the urge to level accusations or display resentment. Keep in mind that your nanny is almost certainly not trying to seize control of your home and children; she’s probably trying to do her job to the very best of her abilities and doesn’t realize that you feel she’s crossed a line.

4) Consider the Possibility That You’re Suffering from Nanny Jealousy – Being forced to spend the bulk of your day out of your home and away from your children while your nanny witnesses every milestone and major triumph can make even the most pragmatic parent a bit jealous. Unfortunately, this jealousy can cause you to feel subconsciously angry at a nanny whose only goal is to provide exemplary care. Before approaching your nanny with concerns or accusations, take a moment to carefully examine your true motivation; do you truly feel that your nanny is overstepping her bounds, or are you simply envious of the time that she gets to spend with your little ones?

5) Set Firm Rules About Discipline – One of the most common causes for contention between nannies and their employers is a fundamental disagreement about proper discipline. Your nanny should understand that, in the end, your style of parenting and methods of discipline should be respected above all else, as you and your partner are the ones who ultimately make decisions regarding the rearing of your children.

6) Play an Active Role – Sometimes nannies take on more than their fair share of child rearing responsibilities when they feel as if there’s a void left by busy parents. Rather than blaming your nanny for attempting to ensure that your kids get all the love and devotion that they need, try to take a more active role in their daily lives.

7) Avoid Being Passive-Aggressive – It’s easy to resort to passive-aggressive tactics in order to regain control that you feel you’ve lost to your nanny, but such methods are almost sure to backfire in the end. Instead, make the effort to confront the situation decisively and with as much respect and consideration for your nanny’s feelings as possible in order to effectively resolve the situation with a minimum amount of hurt feelings or resentment.

Nannies that actively try to take over a household in order to establish dominance or control are few and far between, because those that approach the profession from that angle tend to have short-lived careers. Keep in mind that the vast majority of nannies genuinely want to perform their jobs to the best of their abilities, and to keep their employers happy.

27 September, 2012

Target on Elston - Chicago, Illinois

BADNANNYSIGHTING
Target on Elston in Chicago, Thursday September 27th - black nanny, approx height 5'8 or 5'9" shopping with a blue eyed, blonde boy named Bryce (3 years old?) at 10:30 am. She was on her phone (ear piece) having a very adult conversation, ignoring the whimpering child and alternately yelling at him. He was clearly hungry, clutching a closed lunchable. She threatened him that if he didn't stop whining she'd take it away. He was clearly very afraid of her. I politely intervened to say that he seemed hungry and upset and asked if she needed help. He seemed very fearful of her and she yelled at me that she had been with the family 15 years and to mind my business. I know I should not have spoken to her because it wouldn't help the boy but I couldn't help it. It was so sad to see. She then proceeded with her phone conversation talking about my audacity, never once talking with the boy.

25 September, 2012

SHUT THE HELL UP
Mom Thrown in Jail for Letting Kids Play Outside... Huh?!
TEXAS - Back in the “good-old days,” a kid came home from school, gulped down a glass of milk, changed into grubby clothes and raced outside to meet up with a pack of neighborhood kids. Together they all ran around wildly, catching frogs, climbing trees and making mud pies. All of this was done without any adult supervision, or maybe mom or dad poked a head out the front door a couple times to make sure everything was under control. Yes, kid nirvana still exists in some neighborhoods around the country but many would agree that those days of children playing freely and safely outside are endangered. Today’s kids are either over-programmed with dance classes, math tutors, and soccer practice—or they’re glued to a screen. What’s more, parents often perceive the outdoors as being unsafe, even though crime is down overall.

And then there’s the woman in Texas who saw two kids, ages 6 and 9, playing on the front lawn next-door and decided to call the cops because she thought the kids shouldn’t be playing outside unsupervised. It turns out that the kids’ mom was actually sitting outside in a lawn chair but when the police arrived they didn’t believe her story. They threw Tammy Cooper into the police car and into a jail cell. “Orange jump suit, in a cell, slammed the door, for 18 hours,” Cooper told KPRC-TV. Cooper was arrested for child endangerment and she is disputing the charges. According to Yahoo News: Cooper is suing the La Porte Police Department, the officer, and the neighbor who made the call. In a statement, the police department said it was “confident of the known actions of the officers on the scene that evening.” The neighbor had no comment.
 
Submitted by EBN. Thank you!

24 September, 2012

National Nanny Appreciation Week

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How In-depth Should Nanny Go Explaining In-Vitro?

OPINION
I am starting a new Nanny position with a great family in about a week. I also will be starting an In Vitro Fertilization cycle around the same time. My question - how descriptive do I need to be in explaining why I may need to be a couple minutes late here and there for doctor's appointments? - Anonymous

Avoiding a State of Confusion

OPINION
I hope this isn’t too confusing. I’m a little confused as I write it but I need help drafting a temporary nanny share contract. I currently work for Family A caring for 9 month old twin boys. I work for them Monday-Friday from 9am to 5pm. I have been with them 6 months and the position will end in 6 months when they are old enough to attend daycare. I have started to look for my next position now, as last time it took me several months to find a full time position. I was contacted by Family B looking for part time care for their 6 week old son to start now and become full time in 6 months. Right now they need care Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8:00am to 6:00pm.

The plan right now is to have a share with Family A and B until March. I would go to Family B’s house first in the morning and bring Baby B with me to Family A's house 3 days a week and care for all 3 babies and end at Baby B’s house. We will be keeping some gear at Family A’s house for the days Baby B is with us. Right now I take home $600 a week caring for the twins. How much would you charge for the additional baby? Would you keep a separate contract with each family? Should I split the total cost between families? How would I handle vacations? Thanks in advance. - Anonymous

Recent Recalls

IN THE NEWS
MONROVIA, Calif. (AP) — Trader Joe's is recalling its house brand of peanut butter over fears of possible salmonella contamination. The voluntary recall of Trader Joe's Creamy Salted Valencia Peanut Butter was announced Friday on the Monrovia-based company's website. No specific lot numbers are available. Officials with the specialty grocery chain said they were acting "out of an abundance of caution," stressing that there are no confirmed reports of contamination. Trader Joe's is offering refunds. Salmonella can cause diarrhea, fever and abdominal cramps 12 to 72 hours after infection. The illness usually lasts four to seven days, and most people recover without treatment.
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Article Submitted by EBN. Thank you! Please follow the Link for other Recalls here: http://www.foodsafety.gov/recalls/recent/index.html

22 September, 2012

Marbles Children's Museum in Raleigh, NC

GOODNANNYSIGHTING-1
Hi MPP! I wanted to submit a nanny sighting. This took place at the Marbles Children's Museum in Raleigh, NC. I am a pre-K teacher and I also employ a nanny part time. I was at the Marbles museum on Friday, September 21st with my PM pre-K students. I wanted to write in about a nanny I observed with her charge. The nanny looked young, early 20s or so. She had blonde hair and was petite. She was wearing a scarf. Her charge was a little boy who looked under the age of 2. He was walking but still a little unsteady. He wore a red shirt and red high-top Converse sneakers. The difference with this sighting from that other ones usually posted here was that the little boy's mother was also with them. While standing at the water tables, a woman asked the nanny what her son's name was because her little boy was playing with him. The nanny replied with the child's name and also added that she was his nanny and pointed and said his mom was right over there. The mom was in a far off corner texting on her phone.

For the remainder of our afternoon at the museum, we continued to run into the nanny with her charge and the mom was always trailing behind texting or off to the side talking on the phone. This nanny was WONDERFUL. The little boy seems very, very attached to her. She was on the floor playing with him whenever we saw her, whether it was playing at the train tables, getting wet at the water tables, building Lego structures, riding in the pretend trucks, buses, etc. She was very warm with him. Lots of affection and encouragement. It was sweet to watch, and even sweeter after I knew that it was his nanny. I felt sad for him that he seemed to have a better connection with her than his mom, but maybe there is more to that than what the eye could see. I shouldn't pass judgement on one encounter. Either way, I just wanted to write it because as a mother, this brightened my day. Every child deserves a nanny like this. And kudos to this nanny for being that person for him. In fact, kudos to all of you nannies for doing the job you do. You are worth your weight in gold to us and our children.

How to Quit in a Close Community?

OPINION
Hi readers! I hope this doesn’t sound confusing to anyone, because this is sort of a unique situation and not many people can understand when I tell them about it. In 2007, when I was a junior in high school, I started working for a grandmother at my church. I would go to her house most days after school, and help with her 8 grandchildren. They ranged in age from 13 to 6 month. It was chaos. That summer, when I didn’t have school, I went to full time and switched between two of the grandmother’s daughters’ houses full time. They each have 2 girls. One set was twin girls, the other set were 2 girls (5 years apart). I went back to them full time when I graduated high school and stayed with the two families until the girls were ready for school and all grown up. I still babysit for the girls that are 5 years apart in age. Their mom goes out once a month and needs me to watch her girls on some Saturdays, and other odd days as well.

Here’s my problem: Her youngest daughter (aged 6 now, was 6 months when I started) is completely disrespectful toward me. She calls me names. Comments on my clothing, my hair, everything. Her older sister used to be critical and mean to me too, but not to this degree. Their mother is not the nicest person, either. She often cuts me down for not having continued my education after I got my associates degree, and just talks to me like I’m completely stupid. I can see where the 6 year old is learning to speak to me, but it still doesn’t excuse it. I had been set to tell the mom I wouldn’t be able to continue coming over anymore almost a year ago, but then I realized how hard that would be. I go to church with this woman. I see her every week. One of her nieces is in my Sunday School class. But honestly, after this last time I don’t think I can take it anymore. The extra money is nice, but not worth it at all. I could tell you so many stories about what I’ve had to endure from these people. For example, the mother is always late. Not 5 minutes late. Like…hours late. And doesn’t even apologize. Monday, I was putting laundry away, and I asked the 5 year old whose sock I had and she tells me “You’re so stupid. You should really use your brain more. Mom says you need to stop being lazy and go to college”. I have so many more, but this incident is the most fresh in my mind. I guess my point is: How on earth do you quit a job you only go to once a month? (Sorry I ramble on so much. Please don’t yell at me for it) - Anonymous
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Please be respectful of OP's. Thank you!
cl-wtf-1-1-2
1) Free rent for a trade - (WA) Childcare... yes, a trade. Please read "ALL" of this to understand what I'm offering. This might sound odd but I'm running out of time and options. I need a live-in "female" for the new school year. I'm a single father and my mother has been the one helping me with my son. She's going to visit realitives for 3 monthes starting the 5th of September. I need someone I can count on to get my child to and from school. I'm willing to supply rent free lodging and pay utilities in order for someone to help me out with this dilemma, though you will need to buy your own food and personal hygenic items. I have 2 roomies who are more friends then roomies and I don't expect them to watch over my son since we all have our own lives. Dick Scobee School is just down the street and you'll have most of the day, nights and weekends to do what ever you want, part time job, school or just slack off... not my business. Although I will need to be able to get a hold of you if an emergency comes up, in most cases I'd be handling that myself anyway. Since rent is free I'd like it if you could help with the occasionalhousehold duties and other misc tasks. Don't worry it's not like there's much to take care of, you'll probably be bored most of the time, sorry.
***A bit about my family: I'm 35 and work fulltime 8am-5pm or later. I'm home 90% of the time that I'm not at work. My son is 8 and very well behaived. He's going into 3rd grade this year. I do stay up until midnight and he goes to bed at 8-8:30 on school nights. We've lived in this house for 5 years. There's 3 cats 2 in house 1 out. So please no pets if you have one.
***A bit about the house: It's a 2 bedroom house and 4 people live here. One roomie lives in the garage and the other in a motorhome on the far side of the garage, I hardly ever see them and the 2 of them at the same time is even more rare. you'd probable see my female roomie in the mornings before work and the male in the nights or afternoon time (they are 34 and 39). My son and I occupy the 2 rooms in the house. There is a pool with a deck and a playset for kids. I have no cable but I do have a 60" tv and netflix with BR player that you can use.
***What I'd expect from you: (this will make or break the deal) Lets get this one out of the way. Sadly my house isn't very big and you'd be sleeping in my room. And "NO" you don't have to sleep in my bed with me but you can't be sleeping on the couch either. Accomidations can be made within reason. I'm not looking for a girlfriend, I simply need help. If you have a child that will be attending Dick Scobee, that might work out too. As I said earlier, you need to provide your own food, I have an outside freezer if that'll help. I have a small house so you can't bring too much stuff. Sorry again for that, I suggest a storage unit if you plan on moving out of an appartment or someplace you furnished. I simply don't have the room. Transportation and entertainment is on you. I know what I'm asking is a bit out there but I need to try. I do ask that you send some reason this would apply to you and a bit about your background if you decide to persue this. If it sounds like we'd be able to work something out I'll get back to you and we can move forward from there. We'll meet face-to-face and have a good talk where we can both play QandA. We can meet in a public place of course, I want you to feel comfortable. This is most likely a tempory position so don't get any ideas on free living forever. I will answer any questions you have for me, so feel free to ask. Thanks for your time.
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Submitted by Reinette. Thank you!

2) Nanny/Teacher Needed - (Las Vegas) Hi I am interviewing for this exciting and fun position here at my home. It entails some light duties, childcare of one or more children, my daughter being the primary child, as well as her friends for whom I already give childcare. The hours are flexible, and include some nights, as I currently work a second job away from the home. Please come by for an interview, the pay is excellent, and my home is clean and spacious. Need a person or person(s) to start immediately! Thanks.

RE: Nanny/Teacher Needed - (Las Vegas) BEWARE! Just a heads up, the pay is not great. I’m sorry… Last time I checked, $35 isn’t great for just one child. It works for a daycare, but not a one child thing. Especially for a child who is a straight up brat and has no respect or discipline. And as far as watching other peoples kids on occasion, she will give you NO NOTICE prior to getting there. On top of that, she will expect you to still just get the $35 for her child and her keep whatever money she gets for watching the other children from their parents. The title for this job is totally misleading, too. She needs someone to come into her home, take her to work (she's a stripper, no joke) go back to her house and stay up with the child because who knows when she actually goes to sleep and sometimes she won’t, and then when mom is done on the pole, go back and pick her up. With NO contribution for gas. Great pay my ass. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the strippers out there, but please.. Be open and honest about yourself. And her house is nowhere near clean. Its actually a huge mess. And because of her philosophy on life, she doesn’t even make her daughter help clean up. The daughter will expect to walk all over you and if you try to put her in line, she will lie to her mother about it and make it seem like you did something wrong. Any more questions about this woman, email me. I have PLENTY more to say about this woman. PS… The woman is ABSOLUTELY crazy!
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

3) Nanny needed in our home - (WI) Hi, I’m Jaclyn. I’m a single mom of an almost 2 yr. old boy. We live in Watertown w/my parents. I expect you to provide snacks +meals +definately keep my son on his normal schedual for naps [one nap between 10:30am-1pm]. Please don’t let my son nap over 2 hours, thanks. I expect you to do some light household cleaning duties. I also expect you to have reliable transportation WHICH INCLUDES clean + safe driving AND public records. I would also expect you to actually interact + play with my son, not have him watch tv so much.Some t.v. shows [i.e. Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, Go Diego Go! or any PBS/educational shows] are okay; tv time – ONLY 1 hr./day. He loves to help in general, especially with cleaning. He also loves playing with cars, trucks, blocks, trains + he loves dancing to music. He isn’t potty trained yet, but we’re slowly starting – getting him use to what the potty does/is made for, try having him sit down a few times each day, etc. He also has no allergies that we know of that you’ll need to be concerned about. I am negotiable about costs, but they have to be reasonable +understandable. I am on a tight budget so I can pay up to $10/day. I will be working Mon-Fri 8am-4pm +sometimes overtime [Sat + Sun - same hours]. I would let you know ahead of time if I need care on the weekends too. For sure I would need care for the weekdays at those times. My parents work from 8am-5pm + they don’t get home till around between 5:10-6pm. I would prefer someone who’s honest, caring, loyal, etc. I would also prefer someone who has an Early Childcare Education background or someone who has many experiences with children. Anyone who knows CPR well or is CPR certified, along with/or they’ve worked in a daycare setting would be great too.**Please NOT anyone who has a bad record of any sort – NO dui’s, NO many traffic violations, NO drug-related arrests, NO burglaries/theft, +definately NOT domestic abuse, etc.
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

4) Full-time childcare needed - (CO) Nanny needed M-F, 7am-5pm. 2 children, OUR HOME ONLY! Childcare duties: direct children in daily activities, direct children to clean up after self and perform daily education and chore duties (Schedule provided) (We encourage you to have them clean up their own messes) it teaches them responsibility. Prepare breakfast and lunch (easy items laid out each day) You should at least know how to cook an egg, boil water, use microwave. Basic. Take children to occasional activities (we pay for any cost associated with activities, example: movies, craft classes, trips to mall or Dairy Queen). We are not paying someone to sit on our couch, watch television, and text their friends all day. We do however have satalite television for those rainy or scortching days when it is best to stay indoors. Household duties: laundry, vacuum/sweep, general straightening, bathrooms, kitchen. Must have valid drivers license. Must be willing to submit to background check. Great job for senior citizen - would love to have a Grandma type apply. Grandmas rule! $100 cash per week.
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

5) Room w/bath for Nanny/Free Rent! - (Las Vegas) Mom of 7 year old is offering a room with bathroom in my large spacious home. Centennial hills area north 95 and 215 west. House privilages and room free for exchange of care and help with child. I need help with cooking, school work, shower time, etc., and driving to and from activities. This is on a daily basis. No set schedule yet. Looking for mature lady who loves kids and is and will be flexible. We have a nice comfortable home in a gated area with large park nearby. Looking for long term nanny for the right person. Non smoking person. No pets. MATURE FEMALE.
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Submitted by slb3334. Thank you!

9 Positive Nanny News Stories of 2012

GUEST COLUMNSubmitted by Olivia Lewis
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For every bad nanny story that is written, there are many great ones waiting to be told. While nannies come from diverse backgrounds and have various experiences, good nannies tend to have one thing in common: they are caretakers by nature. Whether it’s jetting around the world to accompany mom on a work trip, dedicating 40 years of their life to the same family, or saving their charge’s - or a stranger’s - life, most nannies are willing to go above and beyond the call of duty in any situation. While the media tends to focus most often on covering negative nanny stories, positive nanny stories do abound. Here are 9 positive nanny stories that have made the news so far in 2012:

Nanny Credited with Saving a Life Chicago based nanny Emily Rogers put the CPR training, which she learned years before for a nanny job, to use as she is credited with helping to save Jorge Pedroso’s life.

Nanny Saves Charge from Carjacking Nanny Kaitlyn McGrath safely escaped her work vehicle that was being carjacked with her one-year-old charge, Cash, in her arms. Cash is the son of ABC Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition trainer Chris Powell and his wife Heidi. Both credited her with saving their child’s life.

A Nanny’s Role is Reversed  Susane Lavinia Bowden served as a live-in nanny and housekeeper to the Hoare family for 40 years. Nanny Susane celebrates her 100th birthday living with her former employer as a member of their family. In her aging years her employer, turned friend, now cares for her.

The Norland Manny Michael Kenny is the first male admitted to the world famous nanny training college, Norland College, to obtain an education degree. When he graduates he will be only the second male in history to graduate as a Norland Nanny from the 120-year-old college.

U.S. Soccer Fully Finances Nanny Services for Players and Coaches Members of the U.S. Woman’s Soccer Team bring their children on the road, thanks to U.S. Soccer and its commitment to establishing family-friendly policies. U.S. Soccer pays the salaries of the nannies so that players and coaches can focus on their families and their sport.

Childhood Nanny Given Ultimate Honor Wonder where actress Tori Spelling got her daughter Hattie Margaret’s middle name from? She named her daughter after her own childhood nanny, perhaps one of the greatest honors a nanny could receive.

Nanny of the Year   Maryland based nanny Nikki Gribble was honored at the 2012 International Nanny Association Annual Conference as the association’s Nanny of the Year. This honor is awarded to nannies who exemplify who and what a nanny truly is. Nanny Saves Boy from Jeep – Quick-acting nanny Cindy Gatson saved her four-year-old charge from being struck by an out of control Jeep that was barreling towards him. The boy’s mom credits his nanny with saving his life. The Jeep came within inches of where the boy was.

Book Dedicated to Nanny While Chicago nanny Vivian Maier may not have made the news during her lifetime, she’s certainly making it in her death. A new book, Vivian Maier: Out of the Shadows chronicles her life through the pictures she took of herself and others.

While not every positive nanny story will make the news, the ones that do are likely an indication of the everyday heroes who provide loving and nurturing childcare to the children in their care.

21 September, 2012

Worthington Hills Elementary School - Columbus, Ohio

GOODNANNYSIGHTING-1
This sighting took place at a Worthington Hills Elementary school in Columbus. When I first saw the nanny, she looked no more than 14 years old, but I realized after hearing her talk to other parents that she was a college student. After hearing her, she sounds more like a responsible 30 year old. As soon as her first charge was released, she immediately gave her full attention to him, greeting him. The boy, 4-6, dropped his belongings (backpack, jacket, lunchbox) on the ground, and stopped walking. Nanny immediately walked the remaining distance to him. She dropped to his level for eye contact, and asked him why he had dropped his belongings. His only response was "Pick those up, now." Nanny responded with asking if he needed help carrying his things, and told him she was happy to help if he asked politely. He looked at her, repeated for her to pick them up, then began walking in a circle. Nanny asked if anything had happened that day, and reassured him that he could tell her anything if something was wrong. Instead, he began elbowing her stomach each time he passed her. Nanny let him know that hitting was not acceptable behavior, and gave a firm warning. Charge stopped elbowing, and instead stomped on her foot rather harshly. Nanny let him know that he was free to make his own decisions, however any decisions that harmed others were never OK and that there were consequences. She laid out what would happen if the behavior continued, being firm, direct, and consistent.

Whoever this woman is is a saint. She let him know of his consequence, then shifted into saying that they should move on and find ways to make the day positive. The child then picked up his backpack and whipped it against her, laughing. He ran into the car, kicking it a few times before getting in. While waiting for the second charge (the children are dismissed in rounds) he began playing with the doors. Nanny got out to close doors, he crawled into the front seat and attempted to lock her out. Shortly after settling down, a young girl walked to the car. She told her nanny that "You better not be a brat today. I am not doing my homework or reading. You're so stupid." After this, the girl got in the car and they drove off, so I do not know the results of the incidents. If anyone knows this nanny, please let her know that she should leave! She seems amazing and many others would kill for a nanny like her. No nanny ever deserves to be treated poorly.

War Stories

OPINION
One of your posters (not sure its okay to mention their name?) but they suggested in one of their comments it would be interesting to have a "worst reasons for getting fired" thread so we can compare war stories. I think thats an excellent idea and was hoping you could do that? - Curious

Why Dummies are for Suckers

IN THE NEWSWritten by Claire Bates
Baby boys given pacifiers 'will turn out less emotionally mature' (but girls grow up fine) - A dummy may seem like an ideal way to soothe a crying baby, but a new study suggests this could stunt their emotional development. Infants learn how to interact largely through mimicry and researchers found pacifiers interrupted this process in young boys as they stopped them from copying different facial expressions. The team of psychologists from the University of Wisconsin-Madison found that heavy pacifier use was linked to poor results on various measures of emotional maturity. The study is the first to associate pacifiers with psychological consequences. The World Health Organization and American Academy of Pediatrics already call for limiting pacifier use to promote breast-feeding and because of connections to ear infections or dental abnormalities.

Humans of all ages often mimic - unwittingly or otherwise - the expressions and body language of the people around them. 'By reflecting what another person is doing, you create some part of the feeling yourself,' said lead author Professor Paula Niedenthal. 'That's one of the ways we understand what someone is feeling - especially if they seem angry, but they're saying they're not; or they're smiling, but the context isn't right for happiness.' Mimicry can be an important learning tool for babies. 'We can talk to infants, but at least initially they aren't going to understand what the words mean,' Prof Niedenthal says. 'So the way we communicate with infants at first is by using the tone of our voice and our facial expressions.' With a pacifier in their mouth, a baby is less able to mirror those expressions and the emotions they represent. The effect is similar to that seen in studies of patients receiving injections of Botox to paralyze facial muscles and reduce wrinkles. Botox users experience a narrower range of emotions and often have trouble identifying the emotions behind expressions on other faces. 'That work got us thinking about critical periods of emotional development, like infancy,' said Prof Niedenthal. 'What if you always had something in your mouth that prevented you from mimicking and resonating with the facial expression of somebody?'

The researchers found six and seven-year-old boys who spent more time with pacifiers in their mouths as young children were less likely to mimic the emotional expressions of faces peering out from a video. College-aged men who reported (by their own recollections or their parents') more pacifier use as children also scored lower than their peers on common tests of perspective-taking, a component of empathy. A group of college students took a standard test of emotional intelligence measuring the way they make decisions based on assessing the moods of other people. Among the men in the group, heavier pacifier use went hand-in-hand with lower scores. 'What's impressive about this is the incredible consistency across those three studies in the pattern of data,' Niedenthal said. 'There's no effect of pacifier use on these outcomes for girls, and there's a detriment for boys with length of pacifier use even outside of any anxiety or attachment issues that may affect emotional development.' Girls develop earlier in many ways, according to Niedenthal, and it is possible that they make sufficient progress in emotional development before or despite pacifier use. It may be that boys are simply more vulnerable than girls, and disrupting their use of facial mimicry is just more detrimental for them. 'It could be that parents are inadvertently compensating for girls using the pacifier, because they want their girls to be emotionally sophisticated. Because that's a girly thing,' Niedenthal says. 'Since girls are not expected to be unemotional, they're stimulated in other ways. But because boys are desired to be unemotional, when you plug them up with a pacifier, you don't do anything to compensate and help them learn about emotions.'

Suggesting such a simple and common act has lasting and serious consequences is far from popular. 'Parents hate to have this discussion,' Niedenthal says. 'They take the results very personally. Now, these are suggestive results, and they should be taken seriously. But more work needs to be done.' Working out why girls seem to be immune (or how they may compensate) is an important next step as is the impact of how often the pacifier used. 'Probably not all pacifier use is bad at all times, so how much is bad and when?' Niedenthal said. 'We already know from this work that nighttime pacifier use doesn't make a difference, presumably because that isn't a time when babies are observing and mimicking our facial expressions anyway. It's not learning time.' But even with more research planned to further explain the new results, Niedenthal is comfortable telling parents to consider occasionally pocketing the pacifier. 'I'd just be aware of inhibiting any of the body's emotional representational systems,' Niedenthal said. 'Since a baby is not yet verbal - and so much is regulated by facial expression - at least you want parents to be aware of that using something like a pacifier limits their baby's ability to understand and explore emotions. And boys appear to suffer from that limitation.' The study was published in the journal Basic and Applied Social Psychology.
________________________________________________________________
Article Submitted by Village. Thank you! To Participate in this on-going Study: https://uwmadison.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_bkFcUCg04oXB15O 

20 September, 2012

Nanny's Allegiance Makes Leaving Difficult

OPINION
I'm sure a million of these same threads have been posted - but I guess I'm seeking advice on my own situation. This is my first nanny job, so I have no experience on how to quit. My issue is that the kids LOVE me, and I feel like I don't know how to leave them without hurting them. In addition, I don't want them to get "screwed over" so to say, with a sub-par nanny or have to quit after school activities if the mom can't find a suitable nanny fast enough.

My issues are: -Unpaid Overtime -Not sticking to our initial hours/days off -Constantly being called in on days off with little (30minutes) notice the day of (Disrupting my appointments like dentist/doctor etc) -Denial of Holiday vacation time (Christmas, and I live away from my family) -Expected to do tasks un-pertaining to my job (ie. Serve/Play hostess at Parent's parties, drive their friends to/from airport) -Expected to Travel with them during my days off for no extra pay -Parents constantly late coming home resulting in more OT hours that I am not paid for -Paying me 2-3 days late every week -Lack of communication from parents about schedule. I am told my hours/their plans the day before (assuming different from our "regular hours"). Sometimes they don't even tell me when they're coming home and don't answer texts/calls about it. -Paying expenses out of pocket and then waiting weeks to be reimbursed (if reimbursed at all). -Parent's undermining my authority. They ask me not to let their kids do xxx, then when I try to correct their behavior, the kids cry to MB/DB that I said they couldn't do xxx and the parents tell them its okay to do xxx.

In general, I just feel taken advantage of in terms of my hours and paying for expenses out of pocket. I knew when I started nanny-ing that hours would be a little "hectic" because it was pertaining to children, but I didn't know I'd never get a day off and never get paid OT. We do not have a contract (Stupid, I know) so I don't think I have any real way of forcing them to pay me for my OT hours, and I know they have no intention of doing so. No contract also means that I'm not obligated to stay for the remainder of the year, or give 4 weeks of notice or anything like that. I plan on giving at least 2 (Do you think thats enough?) and also offering to help train a new nanny? I've only been at this job for around 6 months, so I don't think it will really harm the kids to lose me? In the past they've had at least 4 other nannies that I know of, but that doesn't mean they are necessarily "used to" losing a friend/nanny, and I don't want to give them abandonment issues or anything. I just feel so guilty for wanting to leave them. Advice on how to leave without hurting kids? - Anonymous

Best Way to Say Goodbye?

OPINION
I have experience working for a few families, but this last one is so hard because MB is a helicopter parent. If she is not at home, she's bossing around on the phone to tell us what to do every single hour, and I work 10 hrs a day from Mon to Fri. Other times DB is at home too, because both are Drs. and have very random schedules at work. That is not all, they also hired 2 other nannies (one for each child) thinking it is safer and more helpful for us, but the problem is that they don't speak English and we can not comunicate with each other. The parents doesn't trust anybody anyway, and I am done with them. How is a nice way to quit? - Crayon

Milwaukee, WI

NANNY CONNECTIONS
I swore I wouldn't do this but after searching the net only to find playgroups that do not exist or ones that are for single parents only, I'm actually asking for playmates for my one year old charge. I nanny in the Milwaukee area and would love to meet up with other nannies/moms with kids of a similar age. This is by no means for me, its is for HER. She is the youngest by 10 years in her family and the youngest in the neighborhood by two years. The library doesn't offer programs for her age until the winter, and she can't do gymnastics until she is walking (any day now!).

18 September, 2012

Stuyvesant Square - NYC

BADNANNYSIGHTING
 NYC - Stuyvesant Square 5PM Monday Sept. 17th. Black nanny in jeans. Talking with another nanny who had a 3-ish yr. old girl and boy and a baby. This nanny was "taking care" of an approximately 18-month-old+ blond, little girl. Not much hair. Pink dress, still enthralled with walking. The nanny was talking to the other nanny so much that she didn't know where the toddler was and had to call and search for her. (Called her by a nickname, "Sweetie" (?) A pedestrian at another entrance to the park found her and sent her back to her nanny. I was sitting on a bench for approx. 7 minutes before she even realized the toddler was not in sight. The 3-ish girl kept calling out to her brother, but I couldn't catch the name. It was something traditional, old-school - like Sebastian or Christian.
GUEST COLUMN
To the Administrator of I Saw Your Nanny,
My name is Dr. Paula Niedenthal and I am a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. An important research article from my laboratory will appear in a scientific journal in the coming year that links the use of pacifiers during childhood to emotional development. The findings are very important. It is equally important to us to collect follow-up data before the publication of the research in order to get clear ideas of the characteristics of mothers (and fathers) who encourage pacifier use in their children (and those who do not). We have created an on-line questionnaire that has received approval from the University of Wisconsin board of ethics. Our interest is to be able to distribute this questionnaire to the broadest audience possible and to recruit many parents from many parts of the country. This is why we are asking to post a recruitment message on your website. The posting is not spam and does not involve violations of privacy or the sales of a product. We thank you in advance for any help you can give us in recruiting participants in this study, which has the potential to make important insights into styles of and strategies for parenting. The link to the questionnaire is below. It contains personality scales and questions about baby behavior and pacifier use. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

Dr. Paula Niedenthal, Professor
Department of Psychology University of Wisconsin-Madison
https://uwmadison.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_bkFcUCg04oXB15O

Not Having a Car Drives Nanny Crazy

OPINION
Hey everyone. I've been job hunting for a while now, mostly through Care.com as I can't seem to get any leads anywhere else. I'm a college student and have class three mornings a week, so an after school thing would be ideal for me. The issue I'm having is that EVERY family I get into contact with wants me to pick their kids up from school, take them to soccer practice, etc. I am perfectly fine with this; I'm an excellent driver with a flawless record. But since I'm in school, I'm still living with my parents, and I drive their car. My mom is not comfortable with me driving children around in her car. She says that if I were to get into an accident, there could be a law suit, and the kids might tear up the interior of the car. She wants me to find a family that has an extra car and will let me use that car to transport their kids. Trouble is, I've been searching and searching and every family I run into 1) needs me to transport the kids, and 2) either doesn't have a second car, or doesn't feel comfortable with me driving it. I can't blame them - I wouldn't feel comfortable with a stranger driving my car (but then again, said stranger is also watching your kids)...

This seems like the only major hurdle to me getting a job. Families approach me very interested in me as I'm an ECE student, speak French, etc. but as soon as the driving issue comes up, everything comes to a halt. My mom isn't budging and I don't blame her. I'm getting really frustrated. What can I do? Thanks! P.S. When I Googled this, it led to a bunch of people saying that the family should be the ones providing a car, but none of them in my area (North Carolina) seem to feel this way, and they're the ones hiring. - Anonymous

Pushing the Limits

OPINION
So without giving too much info, for a few years now I have been working for a wonderful family I love. I truly have little complaints with the job but the mother pushes her children academically very hard. They are very young, the oldest is not yet 6. I tutor the children daily from home which I enjoy as I have a teaching background and the kids are amazingly smart and are each at least 2 years above grade level (not just my opinion.) She will tell them that other children are better than they are in order to push them, as well as telling them that they need to impress others, and their work is not good enough. I am becoming better friends with the mother over the years and I know her intentions are not to harm her kids. She does not always push so hard and I know that she is a perfectionist herself, but it hurts to hear her say things to her children that are negative when I believe that children need positive reinforcement from adults.

I would love some advice as to how to talk to her about this issue and remind her gently not to push too hard or that the kids are fine and to let them be kids. I understand how parents want the best for their children but its hard to see them pushed hard. Also if anyone else has experience with similar situations in the families they work for or in their own personal life that would be great. Thanks so much everyone. - Anonymous

Breaking a Habit

OPINION
Looking for suggestions about nap time. I care for a set of twins. Every day they go down for nap at noon as they are tired. They fall asleep on their own. They sleep for 40 minutes, wake up still tired and screaming and will only be settled by being held until they fall asleep again within 10 minutes. Then sleep for another 30 to 40 minutes. I've never seen anything like it and mom and I are trying to break the 10 minutes of holding habit. Any suggestions on how to do this? Has anyone experienced anything like this? - Anonymous

Thoughts on Themes

OPINION
Do any other nannies do themes with their charges? Such as: daily, weekly, monthly, etc? Themes like safety and character builders. If so, where do you get your ideas from? - Anonymous

Healthy Variety

OPINION
How do you get reluctant kids to eat a variety of foods especially fruits and veggies? - Anonymous

16 September, 2012

NOTE TO READERS:

I have never deleted a Submission to this Blog before but after reading all of the comments to "Breaking Profound Boundaries" I felt it was in ISYN's best interest to remove it, mainly because of the sensitive subject it involved. There were some inconsistencies I didn't catch at the time it was Published that made me feel uneasy. Thank you "confused concerned". To the Readers upset by the Post, my apologies.

Nanny Sightings Needed
children-playing-tag1
PLEASE INCLUDE THESE DETAILS IN YOUR SUBMISSION:
* Physical description of nanny/caregiver
* Physical description of involved child/children
* Address or venue of observed incident
* Date and time of incident
* Description of what you witnessed
* Description of vehicle, bag, or stroller that may aid in identifying caregiver
YOUR SUBMISSIONS MAY BE:
emailed to isawyournanny@aol.com
* Left as an ANONYMOUS comment to this post
* Left as an ANONYMOUS comment here
* (Your identity will be respected and withheld)
NOTE TO READERS:
* There is a ZERO TOLERANCE policy on personal attacks or flaming of those that send in Sightings!
* You may also send in Questions, Nanny/Employer Horror Stories, Rants/Raves, A Day in the Life, and CL-WTF... but please include the ad in your e-mail as they may be removed by the time I get to them!
* Don't forget to check out the ISYN Chatboard... if you ask a question and it is not answered by another Member in a timely fashion, please feel free to e-mail it for Publication on ISYN.
* For Submissions that are TIME SENSITIVE, please let me know in the Subject Line of your e-mail.
* ANONYMOUS COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED! Please remember to pick a Moniker! (a letter, a number, anything!)
* Oh yeah... one more thing: ANONYMOUS COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED!!!!

15 September, 2012

Prisoner of Boredom

OPINION
How do you combat loneliness and boredom during the work week? I'm not allowed to go out even to play class or story time with my charges. I am also not allowed to walk with them beyond the street they live. I go out with them for a walk and in the backyard daily, but I have no way to say it, it's getting old. My charges are also infants, so I don't even get to have little kid conversations. There is no one around on the street during the day, neighbors or nannies. - Anonymous

(Not) The Chosen One

OPINION
Ok, so awhile back I posted about a job I didn't get and wanted. I was sad because I grew attached to the little guy and MB and I kept in touch for months before they relocated to an area near me. I thought I had the job but that wasn't the case. This was a live in position and someone else was chosen. It came down to comfortability MB stated as the reason why I wasn't chosen. The other nanny practically started packing her bags from the get go so to speak. I wasn't sure if a live in was right for me at first BUT over time I knew this was something I wanted to try out. Originally they didn't mind live out but due to their crazy work schedules switched.

Anywho, I've been lucky so far and have been working for a family I adore. I can't (now) imagine working for anyone else. The little one is precious and I count my blessings. Well, MB and I stayed in touch from previous job, she didn't see a reason not to as the little one bonded with me really well and I felt it couldn't hurt in case other nanny didn't work out. Since both kids are similar in age, I've gotten together with MB and we've had play dates with the charges. She's come over and met the family I work for and we continue to stay in touch. I have not met her nanny yet. At the time we did have a playdate, it was a day she had off. I told her to forward my information to her nanny so we could set up another playdate. Is it weird I stay in touch with a family who didn't choose me as their nanny? I don't think it's weird. I guess I'd like to know if you've ever been in a similar position etc or what you're opinion is on this? - Anonymous

Uncompromising Situations

OPINION
Nannies: do your MB and DB pop in without letting you know they're coming home and you've been in an uncompromising situation? I always feel that popping up without warning is a great way to catch you off guard and make you look like you're being idle. I try to do my job well but can't because I feel like I have to explain things when they see me and my charge. Even though it's nothing I'd hide. Like charge being in restroom with me. She does NOT have a pack and play and high chair sitting while I use the restroom. She will cry. She is mobile and I don't want her going anywhere I can't see. Also, the baby gate is not set up yet. She is more of scooting around not crawling. But still mobile. - Anonymous

WWYD?

OPINION
Here's a what would you do. I have roughly 6 more months on contract with my current family. I will not call it a great match. It's ok. The parents and I tolerate each other, and I like the kids. I've started looking for jobs because a) The job market is tough and ideally I'd like to have another fulltime gig in place before this one ends. b) I'm looking for a part time job because the pay isn't that great and I'd like to be able to save more and pay off my debts. All that to say, there is another job that I've gotten a call back for that would be more pay a week. Good hours and a longer contract. Now, I haven't been hired yet, so I am a bit ahead of myself, but would it be wrong of me to take the job and leave my contract early if hired? - Anonymous

Indoor Activities

OPINION
I need suggestions for indoor, inside the home, activities to do with a 9 month old. - Anonymous

14 September, 2012

Union Square Park - NYC

BADNANNYSIGHTING
My mother-in-law, who takes care of our daughter, just told me about this bad nanny sighting. Last Thursday or Friday (she thinks late afternoon), she was at the playground at Union Square Park. She noticed a little boy, maybe 2 1/2 years old, with brown hair, wearing a white t-shirt and either blue or green checkered pants, roaming around the playground by himself for at least 45 minutes. She wasn't sure who his caregiver was because the whole time, he was completely on his own and there was no one nearby who could have been his caregiver.

He climbed up and down the ladders in the playground set numerous times, and my mother-in-law remembers being afraid that he was going to hurt himself. Sure enough, he slipped and fell off a ladder and started crying. Everyone noticed and started looking for his parents or nanny. It was only then that his nanny showed up at his side. My mother-in-law had noticed her before but had not realized that she was this little boy's nanny because my mother-in-law hadn't seen her ever engaging with the boy or even looking in his direction the entire 45 minutes or so since my mother-in-law first saw the boy. The nanny, who was a black woman who looked to be in her 50's, had been engrossed in a conversation with her friend on a bench the entire time, while holding a baby girl of maybe 8 or 9 months on her lap.

When the nanny finally saw the little boy crying on the playground floor, she handed the baby girl to her friend, scooped the boy up and gave him a snack, without checking him to make sure the boy didn't have any injuries. My mother-in-law didn't know that a site like ISYN existed, so she only just told me about the incident. I told my mother-in-law that the next time she sees something like this, she should try to take a picture or remember more details, but I hope that the parents of this little boy and baby girl read this, if for no other reason than to make sure that the little boy is okay from his fall. Thanks for the work that you do!

Out of Town Trip Causing Nanny Hardship

OPINION
I have been at my current job for almost a year, and everything has been going great. I don't have a contract, I know I should have, but I don't, and it's too late now. I am looking for advice other than, "You should have a contract!" MB told me that when they don't need me, she will pay me anyway because she doesn't want to lose me, and thinks I do a good job. A few months ago, they didn't need me for a week. MB gave me a check for my normal weekly pay, minus $60. This was acceptable to me, I wasn't going to raise an issue over $60.

Now they are going out of town for TWO weeks. Again, MB gave me ONE weeks pay minus $60. This was a huge slap in the face to me. I have always been on time, always followed MBs instructions, and I take really really good care of the little girl. I feel insulted, taken advantage of, and more than a little panicked about making rent! I am so bad at bringing up difficult subjects, and I feel that if I say something to her about it, I will seem ungrateful. However, if I say nothing, that sends the message that it is OK to take advantage of me. Everything else has been going great in this job, I can't understand why MB would do this to me. There have been no conflicts, no arguments, we get along very well, and I always thought she was happy with me and the job I am doing. I don't know why she would suddenly treat me like this. I love this job, but I simply cannot make ends meet unless I am paid every week. I am not going to see her for two weeks, should I send her an email? I don't want sound like I am setting an ultimatum, however, I cannot let myself be taken advantage of like this. What should I do?

13 September, 2012

Potty Mishap Draws Sympathy, Unlike Utah Mom Incident

IN THE NEWS
Photobucket
Philadelphia Mom Ticketed By Police After 2-Year-Old Son Pees On Sidewalk - A Philadelphia mother is outraged over receiving a $50 ticket and a parenting lecture by a police officer after her 2-year-old son peed on the sidewalk. Caroline Robboy was out with her family on Sunday when her kids, ages 9 and 2, had to use the bathroom. After being refused restroom access at a clothing store, 2-year-old Nathaniel, who is still being potty trained, couldn't hold it any longer. The boy took relief into his own hands and peed on a nearby lamp post. NBC Philadelphia reports that Robboy tried to "redirect" her son to a grassy patch, but a police officer wrote her a ticket for public urination. Robboy said that the officer then gave her a lecture on parenting, telling her that the ticket was "for her own protection" in case there was "a pervert watching [her] son." Robboy maintains the situation was an accident, although the ticket does not acknowledge it. She plans to fight the fine.

This isn't the only potty training mishap to make national news recently. Last week, a Utah Mother drew criticism for allowing her children to use their portable potty in the middle of a restaurant dining room. But unlike that incident, this accident has been received with considerable sympathy. As news of the story spread, other parents shared in Robboy's outrage. "I wouldn't encourage my son to [pee in public] except in an emergency, but there were plenty of times that we had no other choice than to go in a corner of a parking garage or at a park," CafeMom blogger Julie Ryan Evans wrote. "It happens."

11 September, 2012

cl-wtf-1-1-2
1) Looking For a Stay Out Nanny - (NC) We are looking for an enthusiastic stay out nanny to take care of our 5 month old twin baby boys from 8AM - 5PM M-F starting Aug 2012. We need help with feeding the babies, diaper changes every 2 hrs, bathing, keeping them engaged (we have lots of toys, books, play gym and swings for each of them), cleaning their bottles and cooking food. Either mom or dad will be around for the first few weeks to help the nanny get acquainted. Please respond to this ad if you're interested.We are located in West Cary off of Hwy 55. No pay.
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Submitted by Rhiannon. Thank you!

2) Weekend Nanny/Housekeeper - (PA) Looking for a part time weekend, experienced Nanny/Housekeeper to start work immediately for a caring, loving family in the Conshohocken area. I am looking for someone who is trustworthy, reliable, loyal, organized and not afraid of hard work or long hours. I need someone Friday 6:30 p.m. to Sunday 6:30 p.m. Please only reply if you are serious. I prefer someone with a good driving record and a dependable car. The person will be living in with us for 48 hours per week. I will obviously provide a place to sleep and food and anything else needed while you are at our place. I am looking for a caring, hard working and honest person to care for my twin girls (8 months old). I also have a 2-year-old child, who will attend a Montessori school in the Fall. I would like someone who will play with and stimulate the twins and also care for them overnight. They sleep well at night generally but do wake up for feedings. I am also looking for someone who is open to do light house keeping, i.e. laundry, making beds, tidy kitchen, den and common areas. I look forward to hearing from you soon! $10/hr.
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

3) Experienced Nanny looking for part time work with long term family - (VA) Hi my name is Lauren. I am 16 years old. I am CPR, first-aid, and disaster trained by the Red-Cross. It has just expired; I am retaking the next available class. I love children and animals. I am not the nanny that neglects the baby or kids all day while I'm on the phone or texting all day while they sit in front of the t.v.. I have experience with newborns-15 years old. I have tons of references. I do not mind going outside, to parks, on walks, or to the pool. Children have always brought me joy and I love being around them. I do not have a problem with nanny cams because I have nothing to hide. I graduate in a month from Coastal Christian Academy. I do not have a set schedule so I am available anytime! I usually have my own ride and I am always on time. I come to you! I can promise your child(ren) will be in good hands with me. My rates vary; depending on the amount of children, ages, and hours. They are negotiable. I would need to bring my son along he is 9 months. Please shoot me an email for more information or if you would like to set up an interview!
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

4) Need a part time provider with a part time price - (VA) I'm looking for some one with experience to watch my two children ages 1 and 4 on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays from 730am til 130pm. I need some one that's ok with getting paid when I get paid. The 1st time will be september 14th. After that it will be on the 1st of every month for the next 17months. I'm not willing to pay more than 400 per month. I really want to finish school. I'm a single mother just trying to do everything possible to provide the best for my children. I know there has to be someone out there that doesn't want to charge me an arm and a leg for watching some kids for a few hours. My kids are very well behaved for there ages. If you're interested please email me. I will reply the same day. If you're not comfortable with monthly pay I can do bi weekly. I do not pay in advance because I've been played quite a few times. I hope that is understandable. Thanks
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

5) Fulltime Nanny Needed ASAP - (OR) Hello, We are a family in transition (stay at home Dad is going back to work), and needing a full time nanny to start as soon as possible to care for our two boys ages 2 and 4. The job would entail care from 7am to 7pm (some nights would be earlier, that would be the longest request) Monday thru Friday and half days on Saturdays. The job would entail caring for their needs with age appropriate activities, feeding meals and snacks (would be prepared for you to heat and serve, minimal cooking required) sticking to the nap and rest schedule, outside time, activities involving art, singing and other fun ideas you can add is welcome. We need someone who does not have their own children to bring and can take the position with their heart and soul. As parents we want full communication so that everyone involved is happy and expectations are met on both sides. The pay is $30/day (Saturdays would be half days with full pay) which averages about $800/month. Your are welcome to eat what we are eating, or bring your own food/snacks. We just ask that you don't give outside food to the kids as they both have food allergies and do not eat sugar foods. Preferred qualifications: Child care experience, love for children, strong communication skills, willingness to grow with family's changes. Required qualifications: Current CPR certified, 3 or more References and a background check. Please email me with your letter of interest, tell me about your child care experience and why you are interested in the position. Please include your phone number to contact and best time to call. Thanks for your interest!
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Submitted by KU. Thank you!

Swamped Nanny Needs Prompt Relief

OPINION
I am a live-in nanny who has been at my job for over two years and I recently have become completely overwhelmed. I started when the eldest child was six months old, under the impression that there would be light cleaning and cooking but that my main concern would be to watch after the baby, whom I adore. Well, she will be three this year and in the last year or so there have been some big changes: my bosses have had a new baby girl, added onto their home, and enrolled their toddler in preschool. My workload has more than doubled; I am now in charge of taking care of the two girls, both the toddler and the newborn, which includes feeding them both breakfast, taking the toddler to preschool, picking her up, giving them both lunch, putting them down to nap, play, walk, driving the older girl to various activities/playdates, etc. That would all be well and fine if I also weren't in charge of doing everyone's laundry, cleaning the (much) larger house, and cooking dinner (my boss has also recently decided we eat too many processed foods, so she leaves out a weekly menu that I'm to follow to cook dinners every day FROM SCRATCH. Time consuming is not the word.)

My salary has been effectively increased by $350 per week, but it's not really about the money. Honestly, they could pay me $5,000 per week and I don't think I'd be able to get to everything. They need a nanny, babysitter, driver, chef, and personal maid with all the work there is to be done. My bosses both work full-time jobs, so I'm at work anywhere between 10-12 hours a day, every day. Their newborn also doesn't sleep at all during the day and screams whenever I put her down to tend to the toddler, so I really can't interact with the three-year-old as much as I would like. I love my job and really don't want to leave but I am not sure how to go about telling my boss that I can't do everything by myself. I also planned on going back to school part-time this year for a masters in elementary education, which I've told my boss, and I just don't have the time or energy. Should I stick it out? Am I being whiny? I'm just not sure if I am outgrowing this job. - Overwhelmed Nanny

On the Contrary

OPINION
We used an au pair for childcare for a few years. Our best AP was with us 2 years, went back home to Estonia for 9 months and has now landed a nanny job in Scottland. It's a live-in position and I tried to explain that I think there is a difference between being an au pair and a nanny, but couldn't quite articulate it. She's now had 3 years of full-time childcare experience (including 2 years as our AP), has taken some child development classes, and is generally a totally incredible caregiver. I just want to make sure she steps up her game to "professional nanny" level. Any advice from nannies on how to approach this? Any former au pairs who are now nannies and what do you see as the differences in the two? - Anonymous

Blackball Pitfall

OPINION
I got an email from our former nanny last night, telling me I'd be getting a call on Monday for a reference. She worked for us just under a year and that was more than 3 years ago. She was a mediocre nanny. She was apparently fired from her last position (I don't have any idea why). She is one of those nannies who thinks she knows more than the parents and at times did the complete opposite of what I asked her to do because she thought I was wrong. All that said, she's not a bad person and I don't want to blackball her and after 3 years, she could have changed her ways (but then why was she fired?) What should I do? Refuse to give a reference? Give a mediocre reference? Lie? Help! - Anonymous

Is Light Housekeeping a Nanny's Responsibility?

GUEST COLUMNSubmitted by Abby Nelson
nannyclassifieds.com
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There’s hardly a phrase more confusing in nanny lingo than that of “light housekeeping,” yet it’s a phrase that is widely and consistently used in job descriptions and work agreements all of the time. In the nanny world, light housekeeping typically means leaving the home in the same condition it was in when the nanny arrived. If there were no dishes in the sink in the morning when the parents left for work, there should be no dishes in the sink when they return home. If a nanny arrived in the morning and the floors were sparkling clean, and then she and her charge tracked in mud after playing outside, it would be reasonable and expected for her to clean up the mess and restore the floor to its original morning condition prior to the end of her workday.

In addition to childcare, nannies are also generally responsible for undertaking all tasks related to providing care for the children. While each job will vary slightly, depending on the family’s needs and if a housekeeper is also employed, most nanny jobs require that the nanny do the same household tasks as they relate to providing childcare. Nannies typically: do the children’s laundry, launder the children’s linens, keep the children’s areas neat and tidy, sanitize and disinfect toys, sterilize and clean bottles, prepare nutritious meals and snacks for the children, pick up after activities and arts and crafts, pick up after themselves and the children, keep the family provided vehicle clean, organize the children’s toys, and organize the children’s closets.

Some nannies may also take on additional household related tasks. They may do the children’s grocery and clothes shopping, as well as purchase the supplies needed to properly stock the nursery. In some cases, nannies may also be responsible for ordering age-appropriate supplies, toys, and arts and crafts, depending on the arrangement that was made. Nannies typically do not: do the parent’s laundry, clean the bathrooms, mop the floors, dust the furniture, or prepare family meals regularly. In each family and nanny work arrangement, light housekeeping should be clearly defined. It’s what is in the contract that will dictate what the family’s housekeeping expectations are and what the nanny’s housekeeping responsibilities are. Instead of, or in addition to, using the term “light housekeeping” an employer’s definition of what light housekeeping means should be defined.

Many nannies do agree to take on additional non-childcare related housekeeping tasks. They may do this because the children spend mornings in school or they simply enjoy cleaning and would gladly take on the housekeeping tasks in exchange for increased compensation. If your nanny agrees to take on additional housekeeping tasks, she should be provided additional compensation for them and allowed adequate time to complete them when childcare is not her responsibility. For these nannies/housekeepers, it should be stressed that when the children are in her care, childcare should be her main responsibility.

Often times a nanny will go above and beyond the call of duty simply out of practicality. If a nanny is doing the dishes from lunch and her employer left a knife and dish in the sink after breakfast, for example, she’s likely going to wash them too, rather than simply leave them sitting there in the sink. If a nanny is preparing one of her favorite homemade pasta recipes for the children’s dinner, she may make enough for the entire family, since it’s easier than tweaking the recipe for smaller portions. When these random acts of kindness become expected by employers through, resentment and relationship problems in the nanny relationship can occur. Light housekeeping is going to mean different things to different people. Clearly articulating the duties and responsibilities that meet an employer’s definition of light housekeeping will help to prevent job creep and miscommunication over housekeeping related expectations.

10 September, 2012

Battery Park City Playground - New York City

BADNANNYSIGHTING

Bad Nanny(ies) New York City. Battery Park City Playground. Few weeks ago (on Thursday, August 23rd), I took my charges to the Battery Park City's West Thames Park to meet their friend. . The weather was great and the playground was packed. My charges (9y and 10y) were enjoying web-like climbing apparatus and (later on) water guns. This newly renovated playground is great spot for older kids as well as toddlers and babies (there is a big section for young kids).

Anyway, to get to the point: We arrived around 4pm and spent there a little more than 2 hours. Very close to where I was standing I saw a little girl (around 2 years old?) sitting on the ground next to the bench where 3 women were sitting, chatting and enjoying their snacks (one of them had her legs on the stroller). The little girl was sitting right next to green-dress nanny's feet and I assumed that is the girl's nanny. There were no other way to figure which one is the girl's nanny since no one was interacting with a girl at all! I looked in their direction every couple of minutes and every time it was the same picture: 3 nannies were talking with each other, laughing, eating... while little girl was either sitting on the ground next to the bench or standing there watching other kids play and enjoy the spinning disc (I took a pic every 10 min or so) After maybe 40 minutes, 2 nannies (nanny in green and nanny in red) went outside of the playground (The playground is right in front of the residential building and they went towards the building and came back 15 min after), and the little girl was left with the nanny in grey.

I starting doubting that the nanny in green is girl's nanny but its hard to tell since no one was interacting or even looking at that poor child. The grey-shirt nanny checked if the girl's diaper is full without even looking at child. Then she took the girl on her lap and changed her diaper. Weird thing was that nanny was looking at the crowd in the park while changing her diapers and she barely looked at the little girl only once or twice while wiping her. I mean, I thought there is no way that she could have more ignored that poor child. Soon after the other 2 nannies came back, the party on the bench continued. It was the same situation for the rest of the time we were at the park. Around 6pm we were about to leave I saw little girl was sitting on the ground again, between green dress nanny's legs playing with that woman's feet!!! I felt so bad for that little girl. It was wonderful day at park, so many things to do and that girl for more than 2 hours didn't get to do anything except sit on the ground next to bench and watch other kids play. I didn't hear her crying or being upset for not getting any attention, and unfortunately it seemed to me that she is used to being ignored. I am not 100% sure that the nanny in green dress is her nanny or the one in gray shirt but I can send pictures and hope that girl's parents will see this. Please, take a look at those women and I hope someone will recognize them. I covered the children faces. English is my third language, so don't hate :) Thank you, Kat.
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