Thursday

Nanny's Allegiance Makes Leaving Difficult

OPINION
I'm sure a million of these same threads have been posted - but I guess I'm seeking advice on my own situation. This is my first nanny job, so I have no experience on how to quit. My issue is that the kids LOVE me, and I feel like I don't know how to leave them without hurting them. In addition, I don't want them to get "screwed over" so to say, with a sub-par nanny or have to quit after school activities if the mom can't find a suitable nanny fast enough.

My issues are: -Unpaid Overtime -Not sticking to our initial hours/days off -Constantly being called in on days off with little (30minutes) notice the day of (Disrupting my appointments like dentist/doctor etc) -Denial of Holiday vacation time (Christmas, and I live away from my family) -Expected to do tasks un-pertaining to my job (ie. Serve/Play hostess at Parent's parties, drive their friends to/from airport) -Expected to Travel with them during my days off for no extra pay -Parents constantly late coming home resulting in more OT hours that I am not paid for -Paying me 2-3 days late every week -Lack of communication from parents about schedule. I am told my hours/their plans the day before (assuming different from our "regular hours"). Sometimes they don't even tell me when they're coming home and don't answer texts/calls about it. -Paying expenses out of pocket and then waiting weeks to be reimbursed (if reimbursed at all). -Parent's undermining my authority. They ask me not to let their kids do xxx, then when I try to correct their behavior, the kids cry to MB/DB that I said they couldn't do xxx and the parents tell them its okay to do xxx.

In general, I just feel taken advantage of in terms of my hours and paying for expenses out of pocket. I knew when I started nanny-ing that hours would be a little "hectic" because it was pertaining to children, but I didn't know I'd never get a day off and never get paid OT. We do not have a contract (Stupid, I know) so I don't think I have any real way of forcing them to pay me for my OT hours, and I know they have no intention of doing so. No contract also means that I'm not obligated to stay for the remainder of the year, or give 4 weeks of notice or anything like that. I plan on giving at least 2 (Do you think thats enough?) and also offering to help train a new nanny? I've only been at this job for around 6 months, so I don't think it will really harm the kids to lose me? In the past they've had at least 4 other nannies that I know of, but that doesn't mean they are necessarily "used to" losing a friend/nanny, and I don't want to give them abandonment issues or anything. I just feel so guilty for wanting to leave them. Advice on how to leave without hurting kids? - Anonymous

46 comments:

blurp said...

Two weeks is VERY generous. Do not offer to train/find the new nanny. Just because you don't have a contract doesn't mean it's legal to NOT pay you overtime.

I have a nanny and while *I* rush around, the nanny's work day is NOT "hectic" at all. The hours are firm. When we ask the nanny on a Tuesday to babysit the upcoming Friday night they are always welcome to say sorry, they've got plans.

Begin your search for a new job at once. You ARE being taken advantage of, but you are also allowing it. When the parent says, "Stacey, be a dear and pick up my friend Carrie and drive her to the airport okay?" your response should be "I'll just tack that time onto this week's timesheet then. And may I have $20 for gas now, before I leave?" If the mom says no, say sorry you can't do it - you've budgeted your gas for the week. If the mom calls you the night before to come in the next day, "Sorry, but I can't. Since Thursdays are my agreed day off, I've made appointments that can't be rescheduled."

YOU have to be firm.

Sarah NY said...

Id try and sit down with the parents and see if you could get a contract. Get all your concerns in writing and put them into the contract, make sure you get sick days, days off, overtime and holidays. This is a JOB not a hobby although most parents think it isn't. If they won't agree to your terms then hand them a pre TYPED and signed letter of resignation including your end date. But make sure you don't count on that end date...the last time I resigned with 2 weeks notice I was told I was no longer needed period and lost out on 2 weeks pay...

Future nurse :) said...

Good advice, it can and does happen to the best of us. I also lost out on pay after putting in my resignation. I wouldn't be surprised if you do op bc your family sounds a lot like my old one they let me go a week into my reference. I think they look at us like we are young and dumb just bc we are willing to help out. And girl let me tell you if you grow a backbone and stand up to them there is a chance they start looking to replace you. Parents like that are aware of what they are doing to you, they just dont care. You are an employee to them, no matter what they say. It's hard to leave a job but YOU deserve the best job!!!

EastBayNanny said...

You've given parents a nice long list of behaviors that will cause them to lose a dedicated nanny.

Have you ever made a scrapbook? One thought to assist the kids in separating is that a little picture album with yourself an the kids could help them have some sense of closure and also sense of care- that your time together was valuable to you. I wonder how your bosses would respond? Hopefully they would respect your intention.

I feel that 2 weeks is sufficient but that 4 weeks is best- but that's only if your situation remains free of hostility. After giving 4 weeks you could always quit at anytime.

I also like the idea of attempting to lay it all out for your bosses to see if you can come to some new agreements- there's always a need for renegotiation in my experience. But if this can't happen maturely, then you know what to do.
I kinda get the feeling it's a lost cause, but only you can know that.

These kids deserve better from the situation. 4 nannies? No wonder they're testing rules. I feel your pain. It's the parents' job to take care of these kids' needs in the end. Time to focus on you. Better said than done when you care so much, I know. Being positive in everything you say could be a wonderful model for them as you exit.

hmmm said...

meh, don't bother trying to work it out. they are stomping on you and will resent any changes to that. the first poster was right, you hvae to be firm and competent. I had to train my boss to leave my time off alone.

Quit already said...

I second PP. Don't offer to train a new nanny and don't give them a two weeks notice!!! You're full on beig taken advantage of and you're part of the problem! Quit enabling!! If I were you. I'd make a scrap book with the kids and say it's for fun and just quit when it's done. Say you've decided it is not working out and quit. I don't care how much notice you give them... They are jerks and most likely won't give you a reference. Use a fake reference from a friend if had to, in order to get another job or have a friend phone in and see what they say if they decide to give you a reference. I doubt it though. Next time get a contract and learn to say no. People respect people who choose not to be used as door mags and are confident but firm. You need a back bone. If you don't learn from this, then it's all on you. Again, quit with no notice. You owe them nothing!!

MissMannah said...

I agree with all who said it is time to quit. Since you're a first-time nanny, I'll go easy on you. This was a learning experience and now you know what to expect from your next job. (mainly, you must expect respect!) Start looking for work NOW and give 1-2 weeks notice after you find a job. Also, get a signed letter of recommendation NOW, before you quit because they may not be willing to give you a good reference later on. And remember, with your next job always get an air-tight contract. If the parents balk, don't take the job. The contract can never be too detailed.

Finally, as for the children, I don't recall if you mentioned how old they are. If they are school-aged, then making a scrapbook together can be a good idea. I've never done that with charges because I almost always have little ones. What I do when I leave a job is talk to the kids, preparing them for my departure for a couple of weeks (or whenever I get my notice, just in case little people want to repeat what I've said to the parents). I tell them I will always love them and be their friend but it is time for me to go help other children and make new friends. I tell them they will have a new nanny to be their friend. Oh, and don't offer to train the new nanny! That is not your job, and the parents might hold it against you if she ends up sucking.

nannycalifornia said...

I worked for a family that had 4 nannies before me... and they fired me while I was on vacation (two timezones away) and without any cause (and I had never been fired in my entire life!). They clearly don't respect their nannies, which is why they've had to go through a few for their children.

Just be professional. If you are courteous & nice, yet firm when sticking to your agreements (which is now a little more difficult because you've been lax) then they can't say anything negative about you without lying outright (which some people will do, sadly).

I suggest sitting down with them and discussing that you've realized that there have been miscommunications about your duties and you would like to go over your original agreements. Hand them a contract, with your original agreements listed - discuss those "extra" duties, too, and set a firm time period for reimbursement. Explain to them that you are willing to help them, but they need to meet you halfway. It's all in how you approach the situation.

If they are reasonable, they will re-evaluate your working relationship and make the necessary changes. If they aren't willing to sign a contract, they probably aren't reasonable, and you don't want to waste your time with them. Trust me.

One thing I always remember - even though I work for someone else, I am 100% in charge in my own life. Being a nanny is somewhat like being an independent contractor; even without a written contract (verbal contracts are contracts as well, by the way) you have more control than you think.

Good luck!

Future nurse :) said...

So I'll throw myself under the bus ;) I'm very far from a first time nanny but I recently got myself into the same situation. However, OP I learned big time from it, just because I realized that loving the kiddos I kept didn't mean I had to tolerate being mistreated. It's a hard lesson to learn op especially bc you are clearly a loving person. I'm throwing myself out there not to fight mannah ;) but to tell you that you can do one of 2 things op. Continue this cycle for years and years or learn from it. Your situation sounds like its just as bad as mine was and honestly it took me having an awful experience to decide to change the pattern. Now I interview families and only take jobs where I fit, and ones where I connect with the mb. It has been SOO much better, and I'm much happier. I hate that you are in such a miserable situation but you can turn this lemon into some sweet lemonaid! Don't be an experienced nanny who finds herself in these shoes before. Don't do like I did girl. Learn from this! Just like everyone else I beg you to learn, and realize you are WORTH an awesome job. It seems like alot of us nannies seem to feel that we aren't worthy of respect from the parents we work for. That's wrong girl, you wouldn't stay at any other job when they treated you this way. Don't lose that self respect

OP said...

MissMannah, the children are in elementary and middle school.

Thank you all for the suggestions, but to be honest I am never able to get the parents to agree to sit down and talk to me. They are always "too busy" or saying "another time would be better" etc. Even if the girls are already asleep and I'm just cleaning up/they're watching TV. I am CONSTANTLY being brushed off when ever I need to bring up a concern.

I've tried saying no to working on my "days off" and going on the trips, doing OT hours, but... I usually get something like "Do you think we pay you a weekly salary so you can say no to the hours we need you?" etc. Or one time it was "Oh, I guess we just can't go on this vacation if you can't be there to watch the girls while we do xxxxx" super guilt trip. And they do it IN FRONT OF THE KIDS to make sure the kids will beg me to go.

MissMannah said...

Oh hells no. You do not need to hear that sort of BS from the parents!

EastBayNanny said...

YUCK- this is abuse. Bye bye! With this new info, I will revise my suggestion above and say that if you can afford to quit now, just quit yesterday.

Also, have you added up your overtime? Insist they pay you a total that you calculate for overtime or take them to small claims. I might even have a copy of the small claims hearing- with court stamp ready to whip out at them, so that when you part ways, they know for a fact they will be seeing you in court. I would weigh how much they owe against the stress of court. The judgment will be public record for all to see in the future, which may motivate them to do the right thing. You have rights! Use the courts when you need.

Also, the public record thing is helpful in choosing your employer. Any county court has this info available. It's very interesting!

Lyn said...

OP, you are worth so much more than the lack of respect they show you!
Honestly, if I were you I'd line up another job and make sure I have everything siigned and ready to begin and then give them my 2 weeks notice. I'm sure you'll get a contract ahead of time with the next family and that you'll discuss and have written into the contract what actions will be taken should xyz happen (parents being home more than 5 minutes late, ot pay, vacation pay, etc).
I feel horrible for you and wish I didn't feel the need to tell you that giving notice is a professional thing to do, because they sound like jerks.

Jessica said...

Wow what is happening to you is terrible but I bet they have pulled this with all their other Nannies which is why they have been through so many! My friend interviewed with a couple who had had SIX nannies within 4 years HUGE RED FLAG. I would start looking for a job TODAY. I would sign up with an agency in your area through the INA website. I personally have found that agencies or word of mouth is the best way to find a professional, well respected, and well paying job. This is my personal opinion I know nannies who have had luck online but I prefer an agency. A good agency (and there are bad ones) will make a family write out a Job description, expectations of the nanny, her duties, her hours, her pay. Its usually up to the nanny to discuss OT, Holiday, Vacation, and sick pay but they encourage a good benefits package to keep a good nanny. I had one issue with my family (about vaca time) and my agency was there for me. I talked it over with the woman who placed me at the agency and she gave me some much needed advice (stay calm be as professional as possible sit down and explain how you disagree with them, show them the contract and if they still do not see your side we will place you with a family that deserves you!) Sometimes you need to hear that you are worth the pay you receive. You are not greedy or selfish you are a professional who is providing a valuable service. If they don't see it that way another family will and will treat you well! Once you have secured a new job write up a CONTRACT and go over everything. If asked why you left your last position simply state that it was not the best fit but you loved working with the children. Do not bad mouth your last employer it looks bad! I hope you all the best through this difficult situation. Update us when you get your wonderful new job!

Future nurse :) said...

Op

With regards to what one of the pp said, there is a HUGE chance that you dont have a legal leg to stand on unless you go through a huge huge huge battle. I was paid legally and taxed yet they didn't pay unemployment in on me, and therefore when I was let go without cause (aka they got mad after my resignation letter) i was not able to file unemployment for the duration of my unemployment. Is that illegal? Yep. Do the proper circuits know about it? Yep. Was anything done? Nope.

Word of caution. Do not do not do not go salaried with a family like this. I was and that was code for we can use you whenever without OT pay. I'm burnt on the entire salary thing now, however some nannies have had great experiences with it. But with a family like you are describing, I would bet my last dollar on the fact you wouldn't have a great experience.

gypsy said...

You're legally entitled to overtime. Its non-negotiable. Request the back pay if u have the records.

Can I just go ahead and start a union for nannies? :)

Excellent advice from MissMannah. Ill just second it all & save typing it out, lol.

Jessica said...

I would not give up on a salary yet! In my contract it states I get paid 40 hours regardless if I'm needed or not for 52 weeks. Anything that goes over 40 hours is OT. If they come home early and let me go its salary if they call and need me to stay late I get paid OT for those extra hours. There is no switching or come in on the weekend to make up the hours BTDT does not work! I also tried banked hours an that did not work. I think this way is the only way a family does not take advantage of a Nanny and a Nanny does not get burned out.

Future nurse :) said...

Ugh gypsy I keep trying to past something in and it's not working.

For the state i live in salary exempt employees have to meet certain criteria including being paid a minimum of 455 dollars a week. My job met that and therefore I was exempt from being required to get OT. Mistake I've def learned from.

Lyn said...

Jessica, my contract is set uup the same way! It really helps to avoid burnout!

EastBayNanny said...

There is such a thing as small claims CIVIL court...

Future Nurse :) said...

Jessica and Lyn, thats awesome that it works for you! I have always wondered if there were nannies that it works for. You ladies don't feel like the parents abuse it?

MissMannah said...

Jessica, I had the exact same deal with a former employer. They had no problem paying me salary and OT as needed for 9 months. Then all of a sudden they asked if I wanted to go to hourly, which meant missing out on pay when the mom wasn't working. (Sometimes I only got like 15 hrs a week) I said no and they fired me just like that.

We need to have a "worst reasons for getting fired" thread so we can compare war stories!

Lyn said...

I'm not really sure how a parent could abuse it with how I have it written up and what they've agreed to. I only work about 37 hours a week, I still get paid for the full 40, and if they need me 41 hours one week they can just pay me my overtime rate for that hour.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

OP I completely understand that you love those kids...it just shows what a wonderful nanny you are!

However, first and foremost, this is a job and you need to think in terms of that.

This family is majorly screwing you over. Sadly the children will be affected, but that is the parent's fault...not yours. If they truly cared about their children, they wouldn't be screwing you over like this. Sounds to me like they are just shady people since they seem to have a high nanny turnover, etc.

I would give them 2-weeks notice and leave it at that.
Also, by no means are you even obligated to train the new nanny. You can do so at your own discretion, however you do not owe this family anything.

I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Too bad this family couldn't treat you any better.

You sound like a gem.

redridinghood said...

My advice would be to start looking for a job NOW and to quit as soon as you get an offer from a family who will respect you as a professional; sadly, if they are screwing you over like this, it seems unlikely that you'll get a good reference from them however you handle your departure. I got a job with a family through an agency which turned out to be an absolute disaster; I ended up leaving while they were away with the kids for the weekend, and staying with a friend until I got a new job - and it was only then that the agency admitted that I was the fifth nanny they had gone through in six months! (and that is why I will no longer look for jobs through an agency...)

Jessica said...

Some agencies are better than others Ill admit you have to do your homework before you fill out an application to find families. First look on the INA website (international nanny association) they have a list of accredited agencies you can search by zip code. Also check with the BBB (better business bureau) and see what they have for ratings. My first agency experience was horrible. I was young and wasn't sure what I wanted in a job the agency told me all nannies do family laundry, ALL SHOPPING for the family, and work 50 hours. I was told I could only make 10 bucks an hour and the most I would make was 500 dollars a week. Then I met the families they were all awful and basically wanted a slave 24/7. After researching on my own I left that agency for another one that told me what I should charge and offered support for contracts. I reported the other agency to the BBB and they were not an accredited agency to begin with on INA. The old agency called me to bitch me out for not taking any of "their AMAZING clients." Obviously not a professional company. Again when you are a Nanny you are your own advocate. You have to fight for fair wages and to be in a respectful environment. I knew I was not being treated well so I left. Now Im being treated very well because I chose to be.

Bethany said...

You've been given great advice on how to leave this job, and how to write a contract for future jobs.

I just wanted to say if after you give notice they start to treat you worse do not stay.

That and you sound like a wondeful anny and I hope you next family is the kind of family you deserve. They exist.

RBTC said...

your love for the children shows what a loving nanny you are - willing to go an extra reasonable mile, there is a family out there waiting for you that will appreciate you

learning to stand up for yourself when being abused is a very important lesson - do not let this continue.

Much of the abuse here is "passive" aggression - refusing to discuss the issues, dissing you in front of the kids, the guilt trips

yes - they KNOW what they are doing - get out

the court idea is a good one - it will at least define for them how wrong they are

let us know what happens

Future Nurse :) said...

Op, before you rush off to court the way some PPs have suggested remember that money talks. It shouldn't, but it does. Plus with nannying, you don't have an HR department or computerized time clock system backing you up, so its just your word against theirs. See how in a small community this would end up detrimental?? It also only takes 1 bad apple to completely ruin your name and reputation as a nanny. Its happened so many times.. I'm not suggesting that you would take this route, I just do not want to see a good nanny be led astray by bad advice.

Lyn said...

Future Nurse: Yes. Seconded.

Aletheia said...

I agree, Future Nurse. I currently work in a small market, and if I took my employers to court, it would end badly (thankfully I have no nees to do that). All of the wealthy families know each other, and everyone else uses daycare. OP, as much as it stinks, a few hundred dollars in OT are not worth ruining your prospects for a new job. Find a new job, offer two weeks notice IF you can afford for them to let you go before the two weeks are over, and start fresh with a contract :) Good luck!

gypsy said...

They aren't treating you with respect. Its an unhealthy relationship. As many have suggested, its time to find a new job. It may take a few months, so be mentally prepared for that. Ut tis time to walk, hun. They talk down to you. This will erode your self-esteem. You deserve better. Don't worry about them finding a good nanny. They have one. They don't know how to treat one well. Sad for you & the kiddos. Best of luck.

RBTC said...

ok, i see the point there - Aletheia explained it better

you are forced to let them steal from you so you can get another job ( there is a name for it - "theft of service"

i get it

just a note though --

a business associate owed me app$400

theatening small claims court woked like a charm because even a judgement against them will affect their credit rating even if you do not get paid - it's good leverage

but i work for myself and thank goodness had no fears

EastBayNanny said...

Good points above. I work for myself as well :)

katydid said...

I would also avoid court.

Yes, you may win the money due .

But it might become impossible for you to become employed in the childcare field in your community.


You'll get labeled as that suit happy nanny.

Just so you don't feel like you're the only one, years ago I was employed by a family of high powered lawyers.

Looking back they were jerks during the interviewing process but I was young and missed the signs.

They had me doing all kinds of chores and errands, constantly interrupted my personal time and life with their plans.

I was never paid overtime. They nickled and dimed me.

They were verbally abusive. Made insensitive comments about my ethnicity and my weight. Anytime I worked up the courage to say no they guilted me into saying yes because of the children.

I would say yes because I felt if I didn't I was somehow hurting the kids.
I spent far too long at that job, but eventually with encouragement from a friend I left. This friend was actually sitting in the driveway waiting for me the day I gave notcice.

I had a feeling things would turn ugly and they did.

MB actually threw a blender at me.


Awful, Awful experience.


I was terrified to quit.

I felt an immediate sense of relief once I did followed by panic.

It took me a year to find another fulltime nanny job. i was greatful for the time off. I honestly needed to heal and recovery emotionally. I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue to be a nanny.

I ended up finding a job by accident with a wonderful family that renewed my faith in humanity and desirre to be a nanny.

We've all been there with that job from hell.

Don't give up. There are great families to work for they deserve you and you them.

*hugs*

ericsmom said...

OP

Like others said this family does not respect you. If they did they wouldn't just brush you off.

I wouldn't even stay two weeks. If you really need to of course stay. Just don't go beyond what you are supposed to do with the kids.

Sad fact you do have to remember that this is a job. They will find someone else, to abuse. That person will leave too. Nasty cycle the family will create. Very greedy of them to put their kids through all of that.

Anyway, can I ask what state? If its okay. I see alot of jobs in my state of New Jersey.

Good luck!!

DC nanny who is no longer in DC said...

If you can't be without a job, I would get one, ASAP, and get out of there. I wouldn't give notice. You don't have a contract. They use that to take advantage of you, so use it to YOUR advantage for once.

If it was me in the situation, I would wait for the next time they wanted me to work on my day off. I would refuse, and then when they tried to pull the "oh but we're paying you a salary so we own you and you have to drop everything to do our bidding" I would quit right there on the spot.

I've worked for some entitled, selfish, horrible people. I think that people who think they own other people because they pay them to work in their home are the lowest of the low. You'll learn from this, and next time you'll find a family who values you as an asset to help them raise their children, not as an indentured servant.

The kids will be fine. Well, I guess you can't know that for sure, but you have to put yourself first. When I quit my last awful job, I was devastated to leave "my" baby, who is 5. As if I didn't already feel bad enough, her mother told me that I was irresponsible and should reconsider the child care field if I was going to make children get attached to me and then leave them. I told her that I felt that my first responsibility was to my own happiness. She told me that she thought that was wrong; that my first responsibility is to children. Let me tell you, that is NOT true. HER responsibility, any parent's responsibility, is to THEIR OWN CHILDREN. It is not my, nor your responsibility to create happiness and a stable environment for someone else's children. That's the parents job. They do that by establishing a work environment that makes the caregiver happy and want to stay on long term. You're not letting these children down by leaving. Their parents are letting them down by forcing you to leave. Don't ever put that guilt on yourself.

And also, I agree with other posters about the salary w/ hours thing. I do the same with my family. I have 50 set hours throughout the week. I'm paid a salary weekly, up to 50 hours. Anything over that is overtime. It's worked great for me. I'm guaranteed a specific amount of money, but I'm not screwed over by being expected to work crazy overtime for nothing. Parents are much more likely to give their own kid a bath, or make the time to pick her up from a playdate, if they know that they're going to have to pay me $25 an hour extra to do it.

MissDee said...

Work agreement, work agreement, work agreement. Not tommorrow, the next day, or the day after. NOW.

I copied mine from a few that I found online. We can always help you create one.


gypsy said...

@Katydid

Your story is upsetting! It just goes to show that nannies get sucked into abusive relationships with employers, just like women do with abusive men. It took an entire year for your recovery. That is some serious emotional trauma.

I am a strong believer in you teach people how to treat you. When I see signs of abuse or disrespect, I try to address it promptly. Otherwise, some people will continue to blur the boundries, work you ragged, while eroding your self-worth. Learning how to stand up for yourself is something we often have to teach ourselves. Especially if we grew up co-dependent.

I hope the OP leaves ASAP. OP, don't shoulder the parents responsibilites. They can figure out how to find & train a new nanny. I hope you're already busy looking for a better gig. I would've advocated you trying to repair this. But the way they absuse your time & talk down to you, it isn't likely fixable. I wouldn't give them more than two weeks notice. Id line up a job. Get a letter from them. Say its for odd jobs. This way you won't have to have your new bosses call them. If you give them too much notice, I think you'll be miserable, they'll abuse you even
more & possibly not pay you or fire you.


Create a work agreement. That way, when you get your new job, you'll be more confident going in. It will also hopefully help you to retain the relationship longer. Make having an agreement mandatory. Regardless if you watch a child for one day one time or for years. Parents will walk all over you without an agreement. Please update us.

gypsy said...

Ouch. Live & learn. That must have been so disapointing! :/

thank you! said...

DC nanny who is no longer in DC, wow what an amazing comment! I hope you built up OP's esteem like you just did mine. Your comment should somehow be posted on this blog for other nannies to see always. <3

Ohio Nanny said...

OP, I understand that you feel a connection to the kids, but this is not a healthy situation for you! These parents are horrid, and to expect that a salary means you jump when they say jump, regardless of what the chore is (driving their friends to the airport?) is ridiculous.

What I'd do? Look for another job. On your scheduled days off, don't answer your phone or texts (like they do to you). If they say something when you come into work, just shrug and say, "I was at the doctor's office and had my phone off." Or whatever.

Then, I would quit. Give notice if you want, but try and have a job lined up first, cuz chances are they will try and hire someone and cut you out earlier. My guess is that they might try and get out of paying you, so I would wait until I got my check for the week, then quit cold turkey.

Thing is, you end up loving the kids but you also need to compartmentalize certain aspects of the job. While you love the kids, you must recognize that they are not your children, not your responsibility to raise, and that ultimately you really have no control whether you are there or not over how their lives go if their parents up and decide they don't want you there.

I say, time to move on. It doesn't sound like there is any hope of talking to these people.

ericsmom said...

Katydid are you serious your boss threw a blender at you?!! Wow! What a psycho!!

So happy that you found a better situation.

MissMannah said...

Gypsy, you said: "I am a strong believer in you teach people how to treat you."

I agree completely! You must respect yourself first and others will follow suit. And if they don't, forget them.

Brat said...

They expect you to pay for their stuff out of pocket, DON'T say since they're denying you the OT they owe you the money you have needs to go to doctors, bills, necessities, etc.

They call you on days off, don't answer the phone. Don't return calls until much later and set their numbers to a certain tone so you hear it and don't even pick it up just in case you hit the button or whatever that would cause it to pick up.

If they refuse to come home on time several nights, call up someone they have as an emergency contact if they live nearby. You had an emergency, parents won't pick up and it's past time to go home. If they won't pick up or take care of the kids then both are neglectful and that's abandonment.

caring mom all day said...

That's good advice, Brat.