Wednesday

Happy And Great Thanksgiving Day To All Our Readers and Beyond !

We have some very fun ideas about holidays, thanksgiving, entertainment and more! Kinda frustrating when our writers want to BE WITH FAMILY for a few days - just kidding - but yes we have some fun stuff in the next few days - GREAT THOUGHTS, AND SAFETY - to our readers! See you soon !

Tuesday

Professional Nanny?

I've been a nanny for about 5 years on and off. I'm with my first long term family now. I've been with them for about 6 months now. I LOVE IT!!!!!! I thought my ultimate goal was to be a second grade teacher but now I'm considering not going back to school and being a career nanny? Any advice ? Do any of you guys have degrees? Parents would you be more comfortable with a nanny that has a degree? I know this post is all over but thanks for the tips, comments and suggestions :) I'm 23 by the way and married. If that helps your input any.....




JOB CREEP - UGH!!! by Alexis S

I worked with my first nanny family for 4 years. I provided full time care for their two young girls from ages 1 to 5 and 3 to 7. I was paid off the books, in cash (no overtime) during my time working for them.

Over the course of the years we established a mutual trust that eventually lead to the parents deciding that they felt comfortable enough with me, to plan a romantic overnight trip for just the two of them and leave me to care for their girls. "Just a night at a bed and breakfast a couple hours drive away."

This then evolved into them planning weekend trips for just the two of them.
"Just a couple nights at a hotel, a quick flight away."

Then, finally it got to the point where they would leave me to care for the household and their children for an extended period of time. "Just a trip to Aruba, at an all inclusive resort, for 8 days."

In the beginning I would jump at the chance to provide care for the children and household while they went away. As it was a great opportunity to make a nice amount of extra income. But eventually it "took a toll on them financially" and they requested a change in how they paid me.

In regards to pay during the first phase of their travel (1 overnight) I would be paid my hourly rate for the duration of the time. Example:
Work Saturday 8am- until Sunday 8pm
36 hours x 15 an hour
= $540 extra income

This continued into the second phase (weekend away)
Example:
Friday 5pm-Monday 8pm
75 hours x 16 an hour (received a raise)
=$1,200 extra income

Then, when they began to travel for extended periods of time, they requested a change in how they paid me.

They explained that to pay me 24 hours a day was beginning to take a toll on their finances. But that they wanted to take an 8 day vacation over seas.

Before the change in pay I would have made-
Example-
192 hours x 17 an hour (another raise)
= $3,264 extra income.

They proposed that rather than doing the above equation it would be best to only pay me for hours in which I was awake and physically caring for their children.

After the change in pay-
Example-
8am-8pm at hourly rate.
96 hours x 17 an hour
= $1,632 extra income.

For me, it did not seem worth giving a week of my life away from my family and friends for $1,500 (estimating) and I am sure that feeling had a lot to do with, comparing what I was making before. Previously, I would make $1,500 (estimating) for their weekend away and they were now asking me to work more than twice as long for the same amount of pay.

I told them I could understand where they were coming from and agreed to their request in change of pay with the stipulation that, if I was working more than the 12 hours (8am-8pm) or was required to be up with the children In the night, due to illness/nightmares etc. I would be compensated for those additional hours. And they agreed.

I have read the phrase "job creep" on this site many times. But this was job creep to the max....though I know "job creep" refers to additional work without additional pay, and in my situation I was compensated generously. It is similar, in the sense that, it was definitely additional work that slowly crept up, and became something that was expected of me.

I just feel like I almost enabled these parents to live life, as if they didn't have children. And they just kept wanting more and more from me.
It seemed like once their girls were in school full time they were ready to spend their income less on their Children (paying for a nanny) and more on their lavish, child free, vacations.

I have learned from these situations-
Now, in my current position, I do not work overnights, but if I did, I would incorporate an overnight fee into my contract.

Have you ever worked overnights for a family?

How were you paid?

Do you have anything in your contract in regards to this situation?

What is the longest period of time you have ever worked? (Has anyone ever worked more than a week straight?)



More About Former Nanny Chef Amanda

I graduated Culinary school in 2009 and worked at a few different places for a couple years. I ended up hopping around quite a bit, i would get tired of the same routine everyday and every week at each job. I was working at a Mediterranean grocery store that also had a restaurant bar and bakery. I really enjoyed the people but found myself in the same situation as my other jobs, bored. A girl i worked with knew how much i loved kids and told me about an opportunity to teach a cooking class at a Montessori her mom worked at. I went for an interview, got the job and have been here for almost 2 years now. I absolutely love teaching the kids and being a positive, loving presence in their life. they love to cook and are always eager to learn something new. I have noticed that if i don't force them but strongly encourage them instead, after a while they become more interested in trying new foods.




Spinach and Kale Greek Yogurt Dip


1 (17-ounce) container of 2% Greek yogurt (or about 2 cups of your favorite)
3 tablespoons mayonnaise (real mayo)
2 tablespoons honey
1 cup finely chopped kale
1 cup finely chopped spinach
3 thin green onions, finely chopped
1/3 cup finely chopped red pepper
1/4 cup finely chopped carrot (we grated the carrots it was a lot easier for them.)
2 garlic cloves, finely minced or pressed (we used a fine grater)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
if desired, chopped water chestnuts and chopped marinated artichoke hearts

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well to combine. The key is to chop everything as finely as possible! This dip is extra flavorful after it sits for a few hours (refrigerated of course). Taste and season more if desired. Serve with chips, crackers or vegetables.


This dip is very flavorful and the kids love it.

WTF


Monday

Special Skills?

I would love to know how many nannies out there teach their charges any special skills such as playing a musical instrument, a sport, tutoring, hobbies, etc. Are the parents supportive? Appreciative? Do you have any arrangements regarding a budget for supplies, fees, etc?

I know in the past I've seen comments by nannies who have said they would refuse to give lessons w/out extra pay. Personally, if I'm going to spend 40 hours a week with my charges, I'd just as soon spend part of that time doing something I'm passionate about and sharing that passion! (I also chose to be a nanny because I wanted to be able to have an impact on children's lives, and knowing that my charges will have those skills and passion for the rest of their lives is what makes this job worth it for me.)

I am a swim teacher when I'm not nannying, and I love sharing that with my charges! We spent the summer poolside and now that it's cold out I try to get us to the indoor pool as often as possible. They are total beach bums and LOVE getting to swim. My goal is to have them all swimming independently by age 4. :) Their parents are thrilled (dad was a swimmer when he was younger) and pay the entrance fees to the pool for them and me. This summer I was in charge of getting everyone a swimsuit, sunglasses, etc, and keeping us stocked with swim diapers (I was reimbursed promptly for everything, and asked first if that was a task I'd like to take on). Recently I let them know that they all needed new waterproof shoes, and mb let me know a few days later that they had ordered them. I don't charge anything extra for this (but when I teach lessons, I make more than $5 over my hourly nanny rate).


UPDATE ON BADLY BEHAVED KIDS

ORIGINAL POST...

So I have been working at a babysitter for over 2 years now. My normal family is Monday-Thursday, and I manage these kids mostly good, I and I feel that I provide an overall high level of care. I managed to pick up an extra shift with a second family, and it provides me with money that makes me significantly more comfortable. The only problem is the kids. No, I do not hate them or anything, but they behave so badly and do not listen to me at all. As I said before, I've been doing this for a while and don't consideri myself a bad babysitter, I consider these children really poorly behaved. I try and take away priviledges But i only watch them Fridays and I don't really think I can have a true impact on changing their behavior when I only see them once a week. They really are bad though. Really shocking. I feel very bad because I am not exactly proud of my ability to manage these kids, but really need the money. (obviously I am keeping them safe and all the important things. We're talking about like disrespect, damage to their home, and rough play ) I have spoken to the parents, and they have spoken to the kids, but i really do not expect improvements. I just think this is going to be a bad day I have once a week. I guess my main question is: Do people see me at fault of this situation? If I was a parent and the babysitter told me that their kids were being awful I would not assume they are bad at their jobs. I assume parents know their kids... Anyway where I am with this whole situation is to stay committed to doing ,my best, keeping them safe, and not really stressing about all the bullshit. I just feel guilty having kids I watch that i know are not a good fit, don't like me, whatever.



UPDATE:

So I have an update on the badly behaved kids. I just got let go.

Picked up the girl as usual and took her to the park to play and then we went home where there dad was walking around is underwear. He told me that since I only work Fridays and there are so many holidays that they wouldn't want to be paying me for they would not needing me anymore.

I am so upset because they gave me zero notice and because of how much I put with from their kids, (scratching, name calling, tantrums ect.) and from them (coming home hours late).

I am just so insulted I cannot even right now. Because obviously if you are only going to need someone for a certain amount of time you should let them know!


Sunday

Terms of Service

I Saw Your Nanny is under new management - we have taken many suggestions and views under advisement and we are giving the terms of service of the blog.

1. Topics -- we are going to be welcoming a wide array of topics - bad nanny sightings,good nanny sightings,concerns of parents, nannies in the news, any child who needs help, child activism, concerns and stories of nannies, recipes. If you are a nanny and you want to say something - go for it, If you are a parent - the same - we are here. The sky is the limit - we will rarely if ever turn away a topic.

2. Tone-- Constructive criticisms and rants etc are very awesome. We will be discouraging personal attacks on any posters character, and will delete profanity ;(

3. Moderation - We will be finding our way with this - sometimes we will need to moderate the comments and other times not - but your input is very valuable and with valued - blog-friendly comments - we will post them asap

4. This blog has a rich rich history of advice and topics which are valuable to children - we will be taking advantage of it and posting "blasts from the past" - we hope some of the greats from the past run across the new blog and make an appearance.

1st star to the right and on till morning!



Thursday

Former Nanny Snags Dream Job channeling Rachel Ray

I am a former Nanny who is lucky enough to have it all. Working my life's craft and also best of all including children. Nannying put me through cooking school,and then I knew four star gourmet cuisine was not for me. YAY! I landed a job in an upscale private school teaching children how to cook.

I am lucky enough to teach children ,ages 1–13, how to cook. Although the one-year-old class doesn't cook as much as they make the most adorable mess. My class is all about smelling, tasting, touching and looking at our ingredients and finished dishes. I try to use healthy and simple ingredients from all over the world for the kids to explore and enjoy. The children and I have prepared hummus from Greece, spaghetti sauce from Italy, and also alfajores from Peru. One day I had the kids preparing a delicious broccoli salad, they were not excited. They washed their hands and broke up into groups ready to chop up the broccoli apples and onions stir in the sunflower seeds and cranberries then measure and combine the creamy sauce. Preparing the dishes helps the kids feel more comfortable trying the "strange" and "scary" food. After they tried the broccoli salad they decided it was delicious! Most of them had seconds and thirds. I love it when I'm able to introduce them to new foods and help them feel comfortable trying different things. I never force them to eat it but always encourage them to. I find that a child can do a lot of things in the kitchen with proper care, patience and guidance.

5year olds need to be walked through step by step. We work more on technique with cutting and stirring and measuring. 8 year olds can start learning to follow a recipe and just need a little guidance. My 13 year olds can do it all. We focus more on perfecting their cutting skills and learning what all the fun tools are.

Amanda's Broccoli Salad, Guarenteed to turn a frown upside down.

I know it's broccoli salad but the kids really love it once they try it.

Broccoli Salad
3-4 broccoli crowns washed and chopped small
1 Fuji apple cored and chopped small
1/2 red onion chopped small
1 tablespoon sunflower seeds
2 tablespoons dried cranberries

For the dressing
1/4 cup mayonnaise (not miracle whip)
1/4 cup Greek yogurt
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar


Salt and pepper to taste






What is a fair rate?

Hello!
I recently moved to Melbourne, Australia from the states, and just accepted a nanny share position. I will be mainly full-time nannying 8 month old twins at a rate of $20/hour, but two days a week, their 9 month old cousin will join in. What would be a fair rate for me to charge for the days I have all three infants?

Thanks in advance!



Wednesday

Fairy Dust by Alexis S (permission was given to use her name)

MB and DB had planned a weekend trip away. They were to leave Friday night and return Monday afternoon and I was to care for their two daughters (ages 3 and 5) while they were away.
My regular hours were Monday-Thursday 7am-5pm
For this trip I was to start work at 9:30pm on a Friday night so that they could catch their red eye flight.

The girls were asleep when I arrived to work. And the parents rushed about packing their suitcases and loading them into the town car. They zoomed off to the airport with a wave and a "The petty cash is on the counter in the kitchen." (Usually between $100 to $200 in $20 dollar bills depending on the length of their trip)

I unpacked my overnight bag in the guest room, poked my head into the sleeping 5 yr olds room, and took one last peek at the video monitor that showed their 3 yr old sound asleep in her little bed, before settling in for the night.
I awoke, with a start, at 5:45 am, to the sound of crying.
My eyes darted to the video monitor. But the little girl in the tiny bed lay still and silent on the screen.
I then realized it was their older daughter who was up crying.
I jumped out of bed thinking, perhaps she had awoken to her parent's empty bed and had forgotten that they were away and that I was there.
I rushed down the hallway to the 5 yr olds bedroom.
She sat in her bed, fists clenched tightly, tears streaming down her face.

"I am here "5 yr old" it's okay. Remember, we talked about this on Thursday. Mommy and daddy are going to "vacation place" for a couple days, but they will be back Monday. And I get to stay here with you and take care of you." I said softly, trying to comfort her.

She looked up at me, eyes red and swollen, and said, "She didn't come."

I then realized what had happened-
5 yr old had had her first loose tooth that past week and sometime the day before (my day off) the tooth had fallen out. And MB and DB had failed to tell me.

"Why didn't she come?" 5 yr old asked with a sniffle, opening her clenched fist to reveal her tiny baby tooth in the palm of her hand.

Thinking quickly I replied," Oh! I see the problem. Look at your tooth. It has blood on it. The tooth fairy doesn't want bloody teeth. She wants pearly white, healthy teeth. We need to brush that tooth. And if we make it nice and clean she will probably come back tonight and take it and maybe leave a treat for you under your pillow."

5 yr old wiped her nose on her sleeve, stood up, walked into the bathroom, and began vigorously brushing her baby tooth.

I sat on her bed and stewed...
Why didn't they tell me?!

She returned from the bathroom and held up her tooth in her finger tips.

"Wow! So clean and shiny! The tooth fairy is definitely going to want that tooth!" I said

She smiled, revealing an empty space in her bottom row of teeth.

"Did your tooth fall out at school? Do your friends know?" I asked (thinking in the back of my mind, perhaps MB and DB didn't know.)

"No, it fell out at dinner. And daddy said I was super brave because I didn't even cry."

Of course, the tooth fairy did come the next night, taking the tooth and leaving a bit of fairy dust (a bit of silver glitter) and a dollar coin. Making everything all better.

Upon their return, I informed MB and DB of
the happenings on that first morning. And what had happened following the occurrence. They each responded by saying, they had thought the other parent had told me about the lost tooth.
And that they had left a 10 dollar bill with the petty cash on counter to be used for the occasion.

"Daddy, mommy! The tooth fairy came! But she didn't come the first night because my tooth was all bloody. But then she came the next night and she left me a golden coin and there was fairy dust too!" 5 yr old sung sweetly into the air.

" Fairy dust under the pillow. Hmmm...I wonder if the tooth fairy does that EVERY time a tooth is lost?" DB inquired out loud.

Have your employers ever failed to communicate important information to you making your job all the more challenging?

What is the going rate for the tooth fairy these days?

Different Cultures?

Over the holidays I took a babysitting job with a family who celebrates Hanukkah. Being raised agnostic, I was a little concerned and didn't know what to expect.

They asked me to come to their home in the evening to help with the children while they hosted a dinner. I was a little apprehensive to accept. As I knew very little about the culture. And worried I may say or do something wrong. But I agreed to the gig, as I was planning to use the money to buy plane tickets to fly to visit my own family over the holiday break.

When I arrived I was greeted warmly by the parents and they thanked me again and again for arriving on time. I was to look after 5 school aged children while the adults had a formal dinner in the next room. I asked them what they would like to do and they grabbed me by the hands and led me into the living room. There they pleaded with me to play a game with them called "Dreidel." We giggled for over an hour spinning the top with strange (to me) symbols and divided up the "Gelt" ( which I found out were chocolate coins wrapped in golden foil) amongst ourselves.

The parents brought plates of food in and set them on the coffee table. The children explained to me that one of the food items was called "Latkes" and was made with potatoes and onions. And the other food was a type of jelly filled donut (I can't remember the name) I tried both and found both dishes were delicious.

The children chatted about what they had received as gifts for the last 6 nights of the celebration and what they hoped to get as a gift on the 7th and 8th night.
We were eating our chocolate coins when the adults came in and began telling the children it was time to clean up and go home.

They offered me a plate of food to take home. An offer I couldn't refuse! Paid me the amount we had agreed upon and asked me if I would consider coming to babysit again as they hoped to have a date night soon. To which I replied, "I would love to!"

I must say, I feel rather foolish for ever worrying about taking the job. In reality I was fortunate to be allowed to be apart of their intimate gathering and get a glimpse of a different culture.

What other job do you get the privilege to be welcomed into peoples homes, learn about their family traditions, try different foods and enjoy good company?

Have you ever worked with a family with a different cultural background?

Appropriate or Not.... That is the question.

I recently moved into a less expensive apartment and no longer have a washer/dryer hookup. Would it be appropriate to ask my nanny family if I could do my laundry at their home? The children nap at least once a day, often twice. I have no chores which leaves a lot of down time during nap time. I don't have a lot of time outside of my busy nanny schedule (Mon-Fri 7-6) and it's very expensive to use the laundry mat.


Tuesday

Need Advice Please.

Hello, I am in desperate need of nanny advice and am hoping you or the people who read your site will have some advice for me. So I work for a family I adore they are very sweet and fair. However they are going on a family vacation at the end of the month. (The second one in the last month.) that means a whole week of no pay. It's already awful for me because missing the week this month means I can't pay all my bills. But now I have bronchitis (which I got from the mom) and they are saying they don't want me to come into work. I completely understand, I don't want to get the kids sick. But at the same time I was already losing a week of pay this month and now I'm losing even more money that I don't have. What should I do?




Leaving my position...General Rant

This is a general rant about why I am leaving my nanny position. I welcome any input or requests for more info as I have no friends who work as nannies, so I would love to discuss.

Around the end of last year I made the decision that I wanted to be a full time nanny, ideally for an infant. I am in my early 20s with an AA degree in Early Childhood Education. I spent about two months looking for a position and took a few part time positions until I found my ideal family to work for. Unfortunately, I picked the wrong one.

Two girls, now 6 (D) and 1 (M). The parents both work full time, one in the home and one outside the home. From my perspective, the job seemed great. Pay wasn't wonderful, definitely on the lower end, but since it was my first nanny job I was fine with it. I was really shocked that I was able to land a full time position with an infant as I am young and didn't have ample experience. My responsibilities included basically everything for the baby. Laundry, keeping track of supplies, keeping both girls rooms tidy, and what was specified as making sure there are no dishes in the sink at the end of the day. I was specifically told I was not responsible for the family's dishes or for emptying the dishwasher. They have a housekeeper, but she only comes once a week.

My schedule was originally mon-fri from 8-5. I get paid salary, however I am asked to come early or stay late generally once a week. About a month after beginning the job, the parents approached me about lengthening my hours to 8-6 because "there's no way we can be ready by 5." Because of the way they worded it and my lack of experience, I felt like if I didn't agree my job would be in jeopardy. We came to an agreement of only an extra $50 a week for the extra 5 hours, "with the understanding that I would not always be needed until 6 and Thursday's specifically I would almost always leave at 5."

My first red flag should have been the dishes. This family loves to cook elaborate meals which yields a lot of dishes, which would all be left for me. I once overheard the parents tell a family member not to worry about doing the dishes because I could just do them in the morning. This occurred at least 6 months into the job. I know, I should have stood up for myself sooner. I feel like a lot of my issues with this position can be chalked up to classic rookie nanny mistakes.

It took me about a month to work up the courage to say something. After I came inMonday to an overflowing sink and dishes literally growing mold since they don't even rinse them, I finally did. I was very respectful, explained how I was told I would not be responsible for the family's dishes, but have become the only one who does them. The response I got left me stunned. The mother got very flustered, telling me they NEED me to do the dishes, and "if I'm not okay with that then we need to have a serious conversation." It was at this point I realized this was not the position for me. I am not okay with doing adults dishes and I am especially not okay with the fact that the parents didn't even offer to try and help with the dishes sometimes, they basically just threatened my job.

I also never get to leave early on Thursdays as promised. Almost every week one parent is done with work early on Thursday, but I am still kept until 6. Sometimes I am told at5:50, "hey you can just leave early if you want." I am not even exaggerating about that. I have also been told if I come in an hour early for three days straight, on the last day I can leave early. I did not leave early and the parents claimed they forgot. I was barely even given an apology.

Our parenting philosophies also differ greatly. They believe in pushing their children, even pushing a baby to crawl or walk who is bawling to the point where it can only be traumatizing the baby not to crawl or walk. When I met M at 3 months, she was the baby who never napped. It took me a few months but I got her on a great schedule, that was never followed on the weekends. I was so proud of getting her on a schedule since I had no experience doing so. When I tried to suggest scheduling doctors appointments and activities around her schedule, I was asked, "well, why can't she just be on a schedule where she naps whenever we want?" Again, not making this up. D is constantly throwing tantrums, throwing herself on the ground crying if we don't have the snack she wants or if her meal is cut in a way she doesn't like. The parents will go to the store and buy the snack, or make her a new meal and cut it the way she wants. I am even seeing signs of this affecting the 1 year old, she also throws herself on the floor crying when she gets upset. She has actually been doing this since she was about 8 months, to the point where she's hurt herself. I actually just made the connection that she is clearly mimicking her sister.

The parents are not at all interested in what I have to say about how the kids days went. They will ask, and then pick up their phone as I start responding, or interrupt my response to start discussing something else. We discussed sitting down and doing formal reviews, which I was excited about because I really wanted to hear ways I could be a better nanny, but that never happened.

There are quite a few more issues I haven't even touched on but this is getting long. Maybe I will write another post some time. I know, I should have gotten a contract. Classic rookie nanny mistake. I have actually learned so much from this site. I have already given my notice and my last day will be in less than a month. I've overheard them interviewing new nannies and promising the same things they promised me. I wish I could warn them. They even went as far as to actually let me leave early on Thursday for the first time. I later found out they had an interview and I am pretty sure they let me leave early to show the potential nanny that they do let me leave early on Thursdays. This is sickening to me, they are fully aware that they are promising things they will not do. I feel no regret leaving this job, but I will miss the baby very much.





Monday

Another Blast from the Past - This is type of content we are looking for

BAD NANNY SIGHTING!

Location: St. Catherine's Park in NYC
Date: 6/20 Saturday 10:20 AM on
Description of Nanny: I saw Your Nanny, she had thick, curly brown hair with red highlights, hispanic with a large round face but normal body. Wearing jeans, hi top tennis shoes and a rose tatoo style tanktop.
Description of Child: Chubby Boy, between 2 & 3 years old. Dark hair, blue-blue eyes. Sat in black Bugaboo Bee style stroller with white canopy.
Incident: Beautiful Day. That's why so many people were out at the park. This little guy wanted to get out of his stroller and the whole time he was there, she just sat at a bench and kept him in there while she read from a tela- novella type magazine. The boy had words enough to ask "play now? now play?" and even tried to climb out of the stroller. Every time he did, she pacified him with food. Including, his juice, which when was empty, she refilled from her can of A & W root-beer. The whole time she was just shoving food at him. Bags of colored cereal, little crackers, even what looked like gummy worm type candy, and not a little bit.  This bothered me because of the food, the kid was already chunky, he wasn't allowed physical activity and the nanny didn't even have to look up from her book or scold him. You could tell this was their routine. Very sad!
Send your nanny sighting to isynblog@gmail.com

Blast from the Past - BAD NANNY SIGHTING!

Good Afternoon,

We have decided to bring back an older post, so the new to this blog people can see what type of content we would like to see on here.  

Please submit your BAD or GOOD Nanny sightings!!  

This is what we would like to see:


Where: Nordstrom White Plains, NY
When: 7/8/2015 4:30ish
Description of the Nanny: I saw Your Nanny, or liikely Au Pair, straight reddish blonde hair, pink and white striped blouse, denim capris, white flip flops, no make up, carrying a yellow leather bag with a lion face on it.
Description of the child: "Nathan" White, brown hair, curls, unsure of eyes. Wearing a red t-shirt with yellow writing on it, blue dress shorts and brown sandals. The sandals were brown and green leather.
Incident: The nanny was shopping for bras and really short with the kid who wouldn't stay by her side. She kept yelling "Nathan" and he wouldn't answer because he was being his age and not enjoying her shopping. He hid in a rack of clothes. She huffed over to retrieve each time and each time got progressively rougher. I swear she almost dislocated his arm. She would hold his hand and continue looking at bras and then she would drop his hand as she picked an item and looked at it more closely. As soon as she dropped his hand, he was off. This repeated several times. Then he sat down on her foot and started hitting her on the shins saying he wanted his mommy. "I WANT MY MOMMY I WANT MY MOMMY".  She grabbed him up by the neck of his shirt and told him, "you are rotten, rotten," She threw the things in her hands down and took off to the escalator where she he continued to cry and she just help him with his arm bent back with a pissed off look on her face. As other people passed her by she would say,"you cannot behave like this in a store Nathan, this is not okay, we are going outside". I was going outside to talk to her, planning to approach her and ask if she needed help but we lost them! If you know Nathan's au pair (I can't place her accent but it wasn't run of the mill), let the parents know to observe her when she isn't expecting it and draw their own conclusions.

Not what I signed on for...

My contract, the one WE created together and signed, states I am to be paid on Fridays bi-weekly. For the first few weeks you always had my check laying on the table in the morning where I put my things. I felt like you really valued me and cared that my check was given on time. Then the forgetting started happening. I gave you the benefit of the doubt the first, second, third, .... time because I know you're busy. Now it's been months since I was paid without having to ask first. I wait until Friday afternoon when you arrive home, since our contract says "Friday" and not a time of day. I have to stay 15 minutes later to care for the twins while you figure up what you owe me. You don't pay me for this time. My check is almost always short but I'm ready to go home and don't want a confrontation.

Last Friday you forgot to leave a check, which I've come to expect. I ask you for my money, MB, and you have no idea how to pay me. DB is on a weekend trip with friends and you tell me you can't call him. You write me a check for a portion of my salary, with no apology for the circumstance, and we agree to DB paying me Monday. I show up Monday and see no check on the table. DB has already left so I don't even ask about it. You don't mention it at all or seem to remember you owe me money. It's not okay to forget to pay your nanny.

Upon my hire you were excited I could take the twins on outings. I was excited to work with a family who valued outings and didn't expect me to sit home all day with two toddlers. You never left petty cash but you always reimbursed me for any museum or class fees I fronted and made sure the car always has gas.

You are no longer so careful about your reimbursement. Sometimes I see my money returned, but most of it is forgotten. You leave the car on empty almost always, leaving me to stay home or put gas in it myself. You don't reimbursement me for the gas money I spend or seem to notice/care at all.

You hired a housekeeper and give her a schedule that is really disruptive to the day. The twins can't nap or are woken up too early by the vacuum. When I bring this up, you don't seem to care. The housekeeper has started coming on random days and times, with no notice to either you or me, so I can't even plan nap times around her schedule. I can't say I blame her though, since you never pay her on time either.

Your mother is the biggest disruption of all. She shows up with no notice. Sometimes without notice to us both, but often you just forget to inform me. She stays for 3+ hours each visit, disrupting my routine and questioning what I do. My job description does not include entertaining your family.

You cloth diaper the twins. I love this and have always cloth diapered my charges. When the rashes started I approached you about your washing routine, which is weak and not getting the diapers clean. You brushed me off and took no action, leaving your children with the worst rashes I've seen in my child care career. Their bottoms bleed and they scream in pain when I change them. I offered countless times to take over washing and suggested I could easily do it during nap time. You brushed me off. When you left for your two week vacation I secretly took the diapers and striped them, buying supplies with my own money. The diapers got worse again when you returned, because the wash routine didn't change, but the stripping gave the twins a few days of relief.

I will no longer be using the cloth so please expect to buy more diapers and wipes.

You have four dogs and a cat in a small house. You told me you would put the dogs outside in the morning and it wasn't my job to let them in/out or be responsible for them. This has never been the case. I let them in/out all day. They bark excessively and eat food out of the twins hands. They knock the twins down and bite them. The children and I stay covered in dog hair and the floors are filthy. You forget to feed your cat regularly so she follows me around all day "meowing".

Your children adore you and it hurts to watch you avoid time with them. DB told me upon hire his schedule is flexible. We based my salary off the expectation that I'd work 45-50 hours per week. DB said I could expect to go home early regularly and I'd rarely work 50 hours in a week. You soon found it was much more fun to leave the twin's in my care. Not only am I never able to leave early, but you've begun to show up 10-15 min late everyday. You asked me to arrive 30 min earlier in the mornings so you could leave sooner.

There are many smaller issues I won't even mention here. I'm applying to other position now and no longer desire to work as a nanny. You were the final straw in my career. I love all of the children I've been fortunate to work with but can no longer deal with parents like you.

Update - My Aching Heart

I would like to thank everyone for the advice that was given to me. A few weeks after I left the job I was very sad. I was going to wait sometime before contacting the twins’ mom and see how the kids and family were doing but a friend of mines (who is a nanny, except to a little baby) told me that if I didn’t contact them soon the kids would think I forgot about them and think I never cared about them, and she told me its best to keep them in contact and stay close. I followed the advice and started contacting them. I know it's my own fault for doing so and I should've waited a while before going into contact or just not contacting them at all. I missed the kids and I truly loved them but I honestly never thought I would feel such sadness about leaving them.

I had been a babysitter before and looked after some kids over and over again but stopped a few months before I started being a nanny to the twins which was my first job as a nanny. I was sad that I left the kids I babysat but I moved on not too long after. I’ve never been this upset over them like I am the twins. I don’t like feeling this type of sadness or depression, I was such a happy go lucky girl before this and I feel like a switch flipped on me and I’ve done a 180. I didn’t realize how creepy or obsessive I was being these past few months.

On Saturday night, I had locked up the pictures and gifts I had of the kids and told myself the kids were happy and loved and well cared for by their parents and that they didn’t need me anymore. I woke up Sunday morning with a real sense of happiness that I haven’t felt in months. I didn’t feel much of an ache in my heart. It felt good to be truly happy that day and I am still feeling the happiness now though I do still think of the children from time to time. But, I hope I am finally getting over the sadness I had.

I have taken all of your advice to heart and will definitely follow what I have been told. I’ve been searching for a good therapist who will hopefully be able to help me. Even though I am feeling some happiness now I do know that I still need to get help as I am still dealing with some sadness and my problems aren’t over yet. Also, just because I am feeling happiness now doesn’t mean the sadness won’t come back later on. I am still planning to go to school next semester as I am happy to start my education towards a degree I love and hopefully find a new job. I am also looking forward to finding new hobbies that I can enjoy. I am hoping to reach a happy and healthy state of mind. I will not be sending the kids any Christmas gifts or any other gifts in the future. I will be going no contact as I need to move on as well as stop holding the kids back.

Thank you all for the advice.

I have some questions: When I’m on no contact, what should I do if the mom decides to contact me or if I see them randomly in public how should I act? If you have any more advice for me please share.

Thank you.


Sunday

I think we have figured out some of the issues...

Just for the record, I believe we have figured out the issue with the "all one paragraph" and the white hi-lighted text.

Please bear with us as we continue to work on these issues and improve the blog.

Your comments are appreciated.



A Day In The Life!!

Back by popular demand !!! Requesting submissions for a day in the life !

Wednesday

Recovery Time - PG RATING - discussion on body parts

In the beginning of my career I worked for a very, let's say, pro surgery family. At the start of the position (the first week) I worked side by side with their 1st nanny who wanted to leave the position to go back to school. I was looking at the rows of professional family photos hung along the hallway when I noticed something strange. One of the boys smiling in the family photo of four did not look like the son I had met that week. I asked if the boy in the photo was a cousin. The nanny laughed in response, then explained, the boy in the picture was indeed the eldest son (MB's from a previous marriage) but that she could understand why I didn't recognize him. As, he had had a jaw realignment surgery a few years back. She then added, with a chuckle, "MB had to make sure he could have the opportunity to become a GQ model later in life." During my first month working for the family I remember listening to MB mention to me, in a very nonchalant way, that her 4 yr old son would be a having surgery the next week. To which I replied, I would be happy to help in any way possible. It wasn't until post surgery that I learned what the surgical procedure was for. After reading between the lines I believe what happened was- Her youngest son was born prematurely and had had a circumcision during his first days at the hospital. MB was unhappy with the results of the procedure, as she perceived things to be uneven (though when bathing and dressing him, nothing out of the ordinary stood out to me.)MB had convinced herself her son would be teased later on in life if things were not corrected. I remember him laying in his bed with ice packs on the delicate area, extremely uncomfortable asking when it would stop hurting. His recovery time was supposed to be just a few days, but he was extremely uncomfortable for over a week. A year or so later, I remember arriving to work one morning and beginning to prepare breakfast. The younger son came running into the kitchen at full speed shouting "Do Not touch mommy's boobies! She has stitches!" Taken aback I was able to spit out, " Okay... I won't. I promise." This is how I was informed that MB had had a breast enlargement procedure. She then spent the next three weeks glued to her bed, popping pills, recovering from the surgery due to "excessive swelling and sensitivity." It was when MB mentioned how easy it would be for me to have a rhinoplasty procedure done, that I really began to have second thoughts about this family and whether I wanted to work for them or not. I am sure MB thought the comment directed at me was innocent and harmless and that having the surgeries enacted upon her sons was the right choice. However it is my understanding, that almost all of these surgical procedures (with the exception of, maybe, the jaw realignment) are usually considered cosmetic and unnecessary. I am not against surgeries. In fact, I am all for a person of age (over 18) choosing to alter themselves to better their own lives. But I wonder if those boys will be glad of the choices their mother had made for them. Although she did not persuade me into the nose job, I am still recovering from my time working for this family.

Tuesday

My Aching Heart... how do I find happiness again?

A year ago, I became a nanny for the first time to a girl and a boy, 2 year old twins. I came into the job for the money as I was a just out-of-college girl looking for work, but I got so much more out of the job. The twins and me had the most special bond. They made me feel so loved and happy, my heart grew so much because of them. Not only did I have a great bond with the kids but also their parents. The parents were much older than me and we're such a fun couple who treated me like family and helped me when I needed advice on life outside of work. They were inspirational to me as individuals and a couple. 7 months later, I got hit with the news that I was being let go due to the kids starting school in a few months and the grandparents were going to watch them for the summer. I knew it was coming, I felt it a couple of weeks before that it would but I didn't think it would hurt this bad. My heart developed a painful ache from hearing the news. I didn't cry in front of the kids on my last day, I didn't want to let too much of my emotional out in front of them. The parents told me to stay in touch and I promised I would. A month after leaving them, I made my first contact by email with the mom. She told me the kids missed me but that they were happy and she sent a picture of them. It made me smile that they were happy and full of joy. A month after that, I made contact again and this time I was invited to see the kids. It was the sweetest day for me, getting to hug them and kiss them and just see them. I made my regular contact by email a month after that again and then again the next month which was their 3rd birthdays. I was so excited about them turning a new age, I bought them a big gift for both of them to play with and mailed it to their house as they weren't home that day. The mom messaged me saying thank you for the gift but I haven't heard if the kids loved it or anything. It's been a couple of weeks since then and I haven't made my monthly contact this month. I feel like I am the only one making effort to stay in contact as I've always had to contact them first for them to message me. I feel like I got way too attached to the kids and it's my own fault for doing so, I know. It's been almost 6 months since leaving them. My heart still has the same painful ache it has since the time the parents told me they were letting me go, it has not left one single moment. I cry randomly at times because I miss the kids so much, I look at their pictures sadly, I think of them every single day, I cried while writing a message in their birthday card, and I don't have much joy in myself as I did before. I feel depressed. I have been trying to let them go for a bit. Staying in no contact, going back to school for a degree I actually love and want to do, finding a new job...but not in child care as I don't have the strength to go through a child loving bond again. I have ideas for Christmas gifts for the twins but I'm not sure if I should buy them and send it to them, telling them how much I miss and love them or if I should not buy them the gifts and stay in no contact. My head is spinning with thoughts all the time and I am just so tired and depressed. I just wish to feel happiness and not sadness again. How do I find joy back into my heart? Should I let them go completely or stay in contact? Please help, I'm lost.

Monday

UPDATE on Nanny Generals Needed to Outline Leaving Campaign

I posted last week about how I got my dream job and was very afraid to quit my current nanny job because my MB is unreasonable and we have a cruise coming up. Well, today was the day I gave my notice. She took it better than expected- said she was disappointed and that she could tell something was up. I still have (almost) 3 full weeks left with them so this should be interesting. She did not mention the cruise so I'm hoping that means she's ok with me not going and won't try to charge me or something ridiculous. I still don't feel like I'm free and clear yet but I'm so relieved! I told her I was leaving for a more consistent schedule. What I really wanted to say is that I'm leaving because you treat me like dirt, you teach your children to look down on "poor people", you change my schedule every other day without remorse, you're a SAHM who does everything in her power to avoid your children, you refuse to come home until the kids are asleep even when they are crying for you, etc, etc, etc This is my exit from childcare. I want to say to all you career nannies out there that I have so much respect for you. This is a tough and sometimes thankless job and it takes an amazingly strong person to dedicate their life to raising other people's children. You rock! I guess it just wasn't for me. Goodbye All and best of luck in your nanny adventures!

Sunday

Badly Behaved Kids... Help

So I have been working at a babysitter for over 2 years now. My normal family is Monday-Thursday, and I manage these kids mostly good, I and I feel that I provide an overall high level of care. I managed to pick up an extra shift with a second family, and it provides me with money that makes me significantly more comfortable. The only problem is the kids. No, I do not hate them or anything, but they behave so badly and do not listen to me at all. As I said before, I've been doing this for a while and don't consideri myself a bad babysitter, I consider these children really poorly behaved. I try and take away priviledges But i only watch them Fridays and I don't really think I can have a true impact on changing their behavior when I only see them once a week. They really are bad though. Really shocking. I feel very bad because I am not exactly proud of my ability to manage these kids, but really need the money. (obviously I am keeping them safe and all the important things. We're talking about like disrespect, damage to their home, and rough play ) I have spoken to the parents, and they have spoken to the kids, but i really do not expect improvements. I just think this is going to be a bad day I have once a week. I guess my main question is: Do people see me at fault of this situation? If I was a parent and the babysitter told me that their kids were being awful I would not assume they are bad at their jobs. I assume parents know their kids... Anyway where I am with this whole situation is to stay committed to doing ,my best, keeping them safe, and not really stressing about all the bullshit. I just feel guilty having kids I watch that i know are not a good fit, don't like me, whatever.

Saturday

From Asia - To Helicopter Or Not To Helicopter - By Chalsey Morrow

I would like to note that this is not a story, just an interesting opinion from someone who has seen nannies and other childcare givers all across the globe. Though I don't consider myself a nanny currently,I have found this blog very interesting because I am always learning about and seeing the cultural differences between the nanny,parent, and child relationships in various countries and many different cultures. In many parts of Asia, where I grew up, it is very common for children to be raised by their grandparents,as the parents are both working. Because of this situation, I believe children in Asia learn to be more independent as far as capability goes. Examples would be learning to cook or running errands, but still have that full time care from a nanny or extended family members. I've worked with alot of exchange students who travel all alone, as young as middle school, to study abroad under the care of a host family. These students tend to be very self-sufficient and all together not in need of much,if any,supervision and the parents are always there to send gracious sums of money to their child abroad to ensure their care. The money is usually spent on brand items and electronics. I have definitely concluded that the lack of constant supervision of children in Asia results in independence, but this cultural reality goes further and deeper. Parents don't put an emphasis on making sure the nanny or caretaker meet their child's every need and desire. Actually, the parents are far more focused on the child meeting expectations. Especially since after school and tutoring is so common that it ofter takes the place for any need to hire a caregiver. Children receive all the pressure to deliver and ensure that the parents do not receive a bad report rather than the other way around. I am a witness to the fact that these expectations greatly affect the way a child turns out, as mentioned previously with young Asian foreign exchange students being very independent. My conclusion, based on my experience is that a desire to monitor everything in a child's life with the intent to make their life perfect, can result in young adults who are very unprepared for the world, entitled, and overconfident yet undercapable. Now this is just an opinion, but I wonder if any of you feel that a parent's over protective or strict and particular schedules may actually be less beneficial to a child's self-reliance, confidence and independence later on in life.

Friday

Mom Busts Mom !! ( 100% Sure It's NOT a Nanny!)

Note: This came in by phone so the punctuation may not be perfect From: Mrs. T. south houston near the astrodome I am very protective of my young children being a single parent,that's just how I am. I teach many ages through years and years of Sunday school-some kids really need parenting and some just a teacher, But I am always here ready and able. Recently I stopped by one of the kids houses to talk to the mom, I knocked and knocked, finally a little 6 year old boy, a member of our Sunday group answered the door. I said Hi! I came to see your mom. He began to cry and say she was not there. So I asked who was with him and he said he was home alone and I asked why, was she gone long etc...He knew me very well as I teach him each Sunday. He told me his young uncle was supposed to be watching him but left him there. So I could not leave this child, and it really ticked me off that his mother and uncle left him. I live in the same neighborhood 3 blocks away,So I asked him if he would like to come to my house until his mom got home from work about 3 hours from then. He said yes and I told him not to be afraid. I asked him why he answered the door and he said because I saw it was you. So I left a note that said "I stopped by your house and found your little boy crying, left by himself all alone. He is with me. Come get him when you get home" and signed it I found this totally unacceptable. PARENTS! You need to know who is watching and caring for your children. This uncle is 18 and has drug issues. And that goes for everyone - parents,nannies,family! Next time I will call CPS!!

Thursday

Where Have You Been?

Parents and Nannies many times come on this site and tell about contracts regarding travel - any good travel stories - the funny, the good, the bad, the ugly!! - Email us at the email you see on the site here.

Wednesday

Snow Day

I was employed for a family with three children, ages 12, 6, and 2. I accepted the position, and horrible pay, because I was living in a very small town and had little child care experience. At the time I felt like it was the best I'd find. As time went on it became clear pay wasn't the only issue. I was salary and would be given time off when the parents had a day off work or the grandparents came in, only to be asked later to make up that time by staying late or working nights/weekends. DB was a perv, and MB quite insecure, which made for an interesting dynamic. I was constantly being given extra tasks that were not agreed upon in the beginning. I felt generally unhappy with my job but wanted to put some time in so is have experience for future positions. My second winter working for them I woke up one morning to see the biggest snow of the year. I head off to work as usual and find I'm the only car in eyesight on the snowy, ice covered road. I wanted to call in, but MB had already expressed frustration earlier in the week for having missed a couple hours of work in the morning due to my inability to drive until the roads cleared. I decided to drive very slowly and do my best to make it to work. When I arrived I was greeted normally before MB and DB left. They both returned minutes later saying they'll just stay home because the roads are horrible. They sat around the house all day watching TV, feeding the children junk, and making my job impossible. I grew frustrated by the hour as my presence felt useless. I was angry that I had showed up that morning and that I wasn't being offered the chance to leave early before the evening winter weather settled in, especially considering both of them were home and only relaxing. That afternoon I sent a lengthy text to a friend venting about the family, using a very harsh tone and cursing. It was until five minutes later that I realized I had accidentally sent it to MB instead. I panicked and wasn't sure what to do. The end of the story is that we literally never spoke of it. They started looking for other care providers soon after (I wasn't told but found out) and I began searching for another position. A few weeks later the kids had a happier nanny and I was in a position that better suited my needs.

Nanny vs Housekeeper...

I've enjoyed reading the other nanny vs. housekeeper submissions because I can certainly relate. I've worked for my current family since the twin's were four months. The housekeeper started before me, shortly after the twin's birth. Her service was a baby gift from the grandparents for one year. After the twin's turned one the parents decided to keep her on, so we've worked together for a while. She loves the boys and is really sweet with them, which I appreciate, but drives me crazy. She is here for two hours each time and probably spends at least half that time playing with the twins. I try to take them outside or into another room but the house isn't very big. I would love to just plan outings during these time frames but she insists on coming at 1:00, which happens to be right in the middle of nap time. I've tried communicating to MB and DB that this is disruptive (the twin's either get woken up early by the noise or aren't able to nap until she leaves at 3). They asked her to start coming at 10, which she did for a week or two. I'm not sure if the switch back was approved by MB/DB or not but I don't necessarily feel comfortable bringing it up again. Her cleaning skills are below average at best. Then again, spending at least half of her time playing with toddlers doesn't leave much time for cleaning. The twin's grandmother comments on the lack of cleaning all the time, so I know it's just not me. If the cleaning was better I'd be less irritated. Not only is she disrupting my days, she's adding to my own work load. My contracts states that I have no chores outside of caring for the children and preparing their meals. I'm supposed to leave the dishes and kid's laundry for the housekeeper but have started taking on both in hopes she'll be able to leave sooner. I often start parent's laundry or other chores as well in an attempt to get her in and out. This was a vent more than anything but I would also love to hear stories and advice.

Tuesday

This is a FIRST! Multiple Great Nanny Sighting!

I SAW YOUR NANNY atr Colonial Park
With a lot of the negative nanny/sitter posts recently, I wanted to share one that is positive. I was at Colonial Park (Houston, Texas) on Friday morning with my toddler and there were about 8 or 9 different nannies or sitters there with their charges. ALL of them were engaged with the children in age-appropriate ways (i.e., younger kids had lots of supervision, older ones were allowed to play with a little more freedom). Very few were on their phones at any point, except to briefly take photos and (presumably) were texting them to parents at work. Children were encouraged to play politely, share, take turns, etc. Hopefully some of the working parents in the neighborhood can be encouraged that, more than likely, their nannies or sitters are providing great care to their kids.

Ideas for contract negotiation by L

The Schedule-- broken down by each day List of Job responsibilities-- list each think I am to do. Name of children, DOB, allergies, Compensation and Benefits: --- pay rate per hour. Overtime rate, over 9H in one day, and over 45H in week.---Cancellations: Family has booked the nanny for the times specified above. The family shall pay the nanny a minimum of ___ hours per week. Each shift Nanny shows up for is to be paid at a minimum of ____ hours. --- [(I work part time so my weekly 16 hours with one family, this happens in 4 days; If I work more hours on 3 of those days and for the family to meet the 18 hour weekly minimum... not so fast because each day has a 4 hour minimum to show up)]--- Sick days--- Paid days off on the listed holidays-- if on my normal working day---If family has nanny work a longer day then scheduled, family needs to ask first. If Family is late without prior approval causing nanny to miss a: class, appointment, job, ect; family is responsible for paying the fee's associated with that. In the event the families lateness cause nanny to miss next job, family is to pay for that missed shift. If the next job fires the nanny over missing work, then NF is responsible for 1 month worth of that job's wage. Confidentiality-- Both myself and the family will not post each others images, sounds, video online to any source without written consent. Taxes-- family will pay the nanny with a W2 at the end of the year. Thought the year the family will withhold all employment taxes: FiCa, state income, federal income; the family will also show on a pay stub each of the deductions from gross to net pay. If family fails to withhold taxes from nannies pay checks family is responsible for paying the taxes. Payment-- pay period is from Saturday- Friday-- pay day is every other Friday-- If family is late at paying the nanny for any reason the family will pay a $_____ fee per day-- If families payment to the nanny bounces the family is responsible for an NSF fee of $____ and the late payment fee until the nanny gets a replacement check-- starting from the date the check was due. ---- Family is also responsible for any overdraft or NSF fee's the nanny encounters waiting for proper payment. That is how I do it. I have had a family go on vacation for 3 weeks, leaving me with no pay. I still had to care for the kids (I worked for DB, and the "MB" (not my employer) was divorced from DB). For 3 weeks I worked, with no money. At the end of the 3 weeks when I finally got a check I had to wait for it to clear. During this time I have about $300 in overdraft fee's. I owed my parents $200 for gas and food. My cell phone got shut off and DB was pissed he had no way to contact me-- the "MB" too. During that time I couldn't go out with my friends, I was also in school full time and had to skip lunch sometimes-- no money. I was young and dumb, I learned from that story. I wont let it happen again. Another story, my check bounced and the MB took 2 weeks to issue me a new one and didn't think any of my NSF or overdraft fee's were her fault. Those 2 stories got my payment clause to how it is. Another Story: family was late at reliving me. I missed an appointment had a no-show fee; they didn't think it was their responsibility to pay. This same family, was again so late that I missed my next job (that paid a higher wage); again they didn't want to pay the difference. Same family--I didn't learn yet-- made me miss my next job again and again, I was let go for excessive lateness/cancellations. Again this family felt no remorse. Another story, not in my contract, as I am still trying to figure how to word it.... Parking. I got a parking ticket on the street. It was the only spot to park for this NF, I let the MB know were I was parked and when i needed to move the car. MB said she would be home in time. I got a ticket, because MB was late very very late. MB told me I should park some place else-- there is no place else to park! My stories have cause me to become a hard @$$

To Nap or Not to Nap... That is the question!

MB and I were in the kitchen after I'd put the kids down for their nap. We chatted as she prepared to leave and run errands, and in the middle of a sentence, I smothered a yawn. "Sorry," I chuckled, "I'm not quite awake yet today." (It was an overcast Monday with no sunshine, which wasn't helping, and I'd worked most of the weekend.) "Go take a nap," she urged, pausing on her way out the door. "You know you're always welcome to nap when the kids do. The kids always sleep well for you, and the baby monitor is on. The bed in the guest room is really comfortable!" I thanked her and assured her I was fine, and she repeated the offer once more before leaving. I really was fine that day, but I'd taken her up on the offer many, many times before (though usually I just nap on the couch, not the guest room lol!). It was an offer she made within days of hiring me, and had repeated on many occasions in the two years since then. She'd asked if I was a light sleeper (I was) and said that she was often so tired from caring for the kids that she napped with them, and didn't care if I did as well. My previous nanny family also had the same attitude, and had made the same offer. I was working fewer hours (and only had one charge instead of three!) so I rarely did, but I knew it was available to me. If it hadn't been offered, I never would have considered it. Same with my current family. I have a great relationship with them - we're close, and I've stuck with them through quite a few crises and rough times - and I help out a lot with the housekeeping (laundry, cleaning, etc) which is not part of my work agreement (and no, in two years there has been no job creep - these are genuinely great people to work for). I've seen people respond to the mere mention of a napping nanny with disbelief ("I don't care what you say, I don't believe that any parent would be okay with that!") or righteous indignation ("I would never, EVER nap on the job!"). While I COMPLETELY agree that this shouldn't be an option unless it's been explicitly ok-ed by the parents, I'm curious - how many nannies out there admit to catching a nap with the kids? Any parents who have offered this to their nanny (or would be appalled by the thought lol)?

Not a Job Requirement! By: Alexis S.

I recently found myself in a very strange situation. Something I never thought that I would experience, let alone need to have a conversation with my employers about.A bit of background- I have worked for a family for 8 months now. They live in an affluent neighborhood in California (Bay Area) I am paid very well and I work side by side with at home mom. I do all the driving as she is visually impaired and cannot obtain a drivers license. The father works in the government.  And they often host dinner parties to entertain judges, politicians and other high profiled people

My job consists of helping the mother care for her 4 children. Two school aged, a preschooler and a baby.


It started out as a normal work week morning. The rush of-
"Where are my shoes?!"
 "Have you seen my library book?"
"Did you put your lunch money in your back pack?"
And "Don't forget you have chess club right after school in library!"

MB and I dropped the older children off at school together. Took baby to a quick check up at the Drs.

Then it began:

A subtle, "would it be okay if we stopped by the grocery store and I just jumped out really quickly to grab a few things?" -MB

"Sure"- I answered

She was in and out of the store in a matter of minutes. And as she exited the store, in her hands she carried a heavy stack of bottled water, bottles of sunscreen, and a big box of energy bars.

She got in the car and asked," Would it be okay if we swung by (such and such place) on our way home?"

"Okay" - I replied (though it was not really on our way home)

When we pulled up to (unnamed building)
There I saw a large crowd of people, all holding large signs above their heads, marching up and down the sidewalks, chanting together in unison.

I then realized MB had purchased the water, sunscreen and bars, as a way to show her support; for the group of Picketers, as well as, for the cause they so loudly roared about.

MB got out of the car and she began unbuckling preschooler.
"Why don't you grab "baby" and come with, it's a hot day and I don't want you guys sitting in a hot car." -MB

We all approached a table strewn with slogan stamped signs, empty paper cups and boxes of uneaten donuts. MB began talking with the sign holders and passing out the bottles of water, and energy bars.

She returned and spoke,
"I want "preschooler" to march for a few minutes with me. I used to do this all the time with "school age child A & B." And they loved it!" She grabbed a sign, handed it to "preschooler," took her by the hand and off they marched.

There I stood holding "baby" in my arms. Extremely perplexed by the situation I found myself in.

If someone I knew were to drive by, I could only assume they would believe I stood there in support of the cause. And maybe think I was even more involved, as I was left to stand next to the table with a number of propped up signs.

"Preschooler" lasted only 15 minutes of marching up and down holding her sign and "baby" began to get fussy in the heat of the day.

We all started back for the car together. MB with a little more bounce in her step.

"I am so glad we got to do that, aren't you sweety?" She asked preschooler. " Bring all of those people something to drink. That made them so happy.
And just think- all of those people will do that all day long. When we are home eating lunch, they will be marching. When, you are taking your nap, they will be standing in front of "such and such building". When "school aged child A & B" come home from school, these people will still be chanting" -MB said to preschooler.

"But why mommy?" - preschooler


"Because they believe that this will make a difference." -MB

"Why will it mommy?"-preschooler

"Because it will help other people know about (such and such cause) and then it can change for the better." - MB

"Why is it better mommy?" -preschooler

"Because things are wrong and it is our responsibility to fix them and make them right." -MB

"But wh......" preschooler

"You know what sweety! I have a good idea! Let's go home and make our own signs! We could decorate them with glitter and stickers and come back again! Would you like that?" - MB

"Yeah!!!" -preschooler

Meanwhile I am thinking the whole drive home, "gotta love that "why?" stage."  And "Uh, Not while I am on the clock!"

This was wrong! Am I right?
I shouldn't have to accompany MB and her children to a political gathering.

Now I get I wasn't forced to hold a sign, or March, or chant. But It is not a job requirement for me to support MB and DB's political views....

Maybe I am over reacting. But I do not want to do that again.

I think I need to have a talk with MB and DB

Any advice advice on how to have this conversation?











Sunday

To Nanny Share or not...



Long time reader first time writer.

I've been a nanny for about 5 years now. I work for an agency. I love my charge Isabelle(fake name) she's is 1 years old. MB and DB are awesome! Anyway, they have neighbors moving in towards the end of Nov. and have asked would I be interested in nanny share because their nanny gives birth in February. I'm not sure if my agency does nanny shares and I have asked my "boss" and told her the family specifically asked for me so she doesn't try to give it to someone else. Anyway if she says the company doesn't do nanny shares,how do I go about doing in? Both moms have agreed to do a nanny share. Noel(potential charge) is a few months older then Isabelle. The mothers would like them to develop a best friend relationship over the years.