Badly Behaved Kids... Help

So I have been working at a babysitter for over 2 years now. My normal family is Monday-Thursday, and I manage these kids mostly good, I and I feel that I provide an overall high level of care. I managed to pick up an extra shift with a second family, and it provides me with money that makes me significantly more comfortable. The only problem is the kids. No, I do not hate them or anything, but they behave so badly and do not listen to me at all. As I said before, I've been doing this for a while and don't consideri myself a bad babysitter, I consider these children really poorly behaved. I try and take away priviledges But i only watch them Fridays and I don't really think I can have a true impact on changing their behavior when I only see them once a week. They really are bad though. Really shocking. I feel very bad because I am not exactly proud of my ability to manage these kids, but really need the money. (obviously I am keeping them safe and all the important things. We're talking about like disrespect, damage to their home, and rough play ) I have spoken to the parents, and they have spoken to the kids, but i really do not expect improvements. I just think this is going to be a bad day I have once a week. I guess my main question is: Do people see me at fault of this situation? If I was a parent and the babysitter told me that their kids were being awful I would not assume they are bad at their jobs. I assume parents know their kids... Anyway where I am with this whole situation is to stay committed to doing ,my best, keeping them safe, and not really stressing about all the bullshit. I just feel guilty having kids I watch that i know are not a good fit, don't like me, whatever.


nc said...

How are they bad kids? Working with them only 1 day a week isn't going to fix their behavior. Just do what you can do, and if you can't handle it quit.

Kate said...

REPLY-- They scream at me, hit me, ignore me when they are breaking rules their family has in place.

I guess my issue is, if I only watch them once a week, I just need to deal with it and not stress about how their kids are badly behaved. I just tend to internalize it, because I try to have pride in what I do and do the best work I can-- so not seeing any possibility of progress is really disconcerting..

Anonymous said...

You're not going to have an impact on their behavior seeing them only once a week. Trust me, I was in a situation like this and I saw the kids Monday through Friday and sometimes even on the weekend. No improvement. Unless the parents and you would be working in unison together, change is not going to happen. Also, I found that the parents would be stricter and enforce rules when I was around and then they weren't adhering to them when I wasn't there. The kids get mixed messages, they play you against their parents and also become resentful of whomever adheres to and enforces the rules more. In my situation, it was me. Talking to the parents won't work either. They usually don't want to hear it, they get offended and it won't end well. My advice would be to just quit and find another job if you can't handle it. I couldn't. The one child was breaking skin on me. I went home with marks on my arms and hands. They would slap me in the face and kick me. Not acceptable at all. I had to laugh though because they were doing it to the father as well. How embarrassing to attend a work meeting in the morning with scratches and broken skin on your face. If they wanted to put up with that, more power to them! Me? No way, I was out! Good luck with making your decision.

Jessie said...

OMG, I can so relate!
I work with wonderful twins Monday-Friday (only 30 hrs/week though), and on Saturday and Sunday with a different family. I took on the weekend family as extra income - it allows me much more breathing room, but the kids are so badly behaved! I hate going there, but at the same time, they pay very well, and I don't have to pinch pennies anymore (and it is only 10 hrs in a week). The three boys are aggressive towards each other, towards me, their parents, they are rude, often shouting profanities, and totally mentally exhausting. Parents are aware but discipline in that house is a laughing stock. I've mentioned some other solutions(ones that will get them to calm down, not rile them up even more), but there's always lack of follow through from them. Another problem is that even though they are aged 10, 8 and 5, they don't do anything for themselves - you have to hand them everything, draw for them, etc. This really gets on my nerves and I've taken steps to rectify this.
In the end, parents know that these boys are wild, and even though they do always expect me to manage them and are unhappy with me if I don't (eg, if one bites the other while the third is attempting to hit the lamp with a huge pole one of the parents left in the playroom...) I'm pretty honest with them. If I have just 1 or 2, keeping on top of them is fine, if there are all 3 together it's guaranteed they will end up fighting.
I'm not sure how long I'll keep the weekend family (which is one of their big problems as their nannies and sitters are always quitting), and for sure, I'll never use them as reference - not because I'm bad at this job (99% of time I end the day successful) but because their expectations are impossible (which you wouldn't know unless you spend some time with the boys).

NannySharp said...

I am sorry OP. I can tell that you really care about the impact you have on the children in your care and really take pride in what you do in your work with childcare.
I agree with others here. You need to make the choice of whether you can deal and make the extra income for the one day a week or decide you would rather put your efforts into something more worthwhile and leave the position and find one that better suits your needs.
Good luck