From Asia - To Helicopter Or Not To Helicopter - By Chalsey Morrow

I would like to note that this is not a story, just an interesting opinion from someone who has seen nannies and other childcare givers all across the globe. Though I don't consider myself a nanny currently,I have found this blog very interesting because I am always learning about and seeing the cultural differences between the nanny,parent, and child relationships in various countries and many different cultures. In many parts of Asia, where I grew up, it is very common for children to be raised by their grandparents,as the parents are both working. Because of this situation, I believe children in Asia learn to be more independent as far as capability goes. Examples would be learning to cook or running errands, but still have that full time care from a nanny or extended family members. I've worked with alot of exchange students who travel all alone, as young as middle school, to study abroad under the care of a host family. These students tend to be very self-sufficient and all together not in need of much,if any,supervision and the parents are always there to send gracious sums of money to their child abroad to ensure their care. The money is usually spent on brand items and electronics. I have definitely concluded that the lack of constant supervision of children in Asia results in independence, but this cultural reality goes further and deeper. Parents don't put an emphasis on making sure the nanny or caretaker meet their child's every need and desire. Actually, the parents are far more focused on the child meeting expectations. Especially since after school and tutoring is so common that it ofter takes the place for any need to hire a caregiver. Children receive all the pressure to deliver and ensure that the parents do not receive a bad report rather than the other way around. I am a witness to the fact that these expectations greatly affect the way a child turns out, as mentioned previously with young Asian foreign exchange students being very independent. My conclusion, based on my experience is that a desire to monitor everything in a child's life with the intent to make their life perfect, can result in young adults who are very unprepared for the world, entitled, and overconfident yet undercapable. Now this is just an opinion, but I wonder if any of you feel that a parent's over protective or strict and particular schedules may actually be less beneficial to a child's self-reliance, confidence and independence later on in life.


The Wife said...

I definitely feel that over scheduling and having a child centered environment contributes to a more dependent and needy child. It seems like there is so much pressure, in the U.S. at least, to be a good parent. Too many parents are willing to overlook the fact the children are becoming worse while the parents are "doing better".

Anonymous said...

I Feel that everything needs balance.
Child centered rearing does tend to create overconfident, under capable,co dependent, entitled children.
Parent centered rearing can lessen a bond between child and parent, and can create a resentful relationship later on in life.
There needs to be a happy medium. A mutual respect between parent and child. Each is there own person with their own emotional needs. Each has expectations that need to be met.
Establishing trust, respect and a mutual understanding that needs will be met is the answer here.