27 February, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, February 27, 2010
cl wtd 555
.... WHAT?!

1) Baby Strolling (California)
HI. We are looking for help on Saturdays Daytime and Fridays evening. Hours are approximately 10:30am- 2:00pm on Saturday, Fridays 8pm-9pm. I need a person to stroll my adorable baby son (with me walking) to Montana Branch Library in Santa Monica on Saturdays at about 10:30am and stroll him back home at about 2pm. Hours are flexible. No need to commit to every week. Distance is 1 1/2 miles each way on Montana Ave. in santa monica 90402.
I will pay you the whole time from arrival time about 10:30am to returning him home. You wont need to stay with us;--just come back and get him to stroll him home. About 2pm. email your hourly rate to me for strolling since it only involves walking and no child care. Leave your Phone no. and I will call you. My baby broke the computer so I need to talk by phone this week. Thank you, Shari and Jonah
Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/kid/1617970913.html
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Special thanks to the following Contributors: Suedoenim90, MissMannah, Krupitzerb, JLow2474, sarahhhamilton523, UtahNanny, NannyBee, MissDee, cheesenipsaregood, JerkFaceJade and NervousNanny... all of you did a fantastic job! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And please don't forget to include the Links!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

25 February, 2010

The Grateful Critic...

Received Thursday, February 25, 2010
http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com I am a nanny. I have been with my current family for seven months. My previous family of two years moved to Chicago in May. Thank goodness they gave me two months severence pay, because it was hard to find a job. When i say hard, I mean, I have my standards too. I am a professional nanny. There are some jobs I won't consider. For example, I don't want to work too far from home, I won't work for a single parent, (women in particular have boundary issues), I won't work in a position that requires any housekeeping, (I prefer a position where the family employs a full time housekeeper; once a week doesn't cut it, I won;t work for a family that does not respect my off time. I arrive punctual and demand that they do so, too. As part of contract negotiations, I specify my overtime rate begans to accrue after the tenth minute they are late. My overtime rate is 1.75 times my regular rate and is paid in half hour increments, rounded up.

I think I do a fairly good job of screening families. Even so, I am not happy with my current position. You might wonder where I get the audacity to make the demands I make, but I do this up front so the family knows what my breaking points are. This way they have the option to accept me or not. I don't want a job, I want a job that I can enjoy.

Do I enjoy my current job? Not all that much.

I'll list for you the problems I have encountered. These are problems I just deal with quietly, as I am grateful to have a job in these disturbing times.
My employer is a narcissist, stay at home mother who is never home because she is always working out, getting spray tans, shopping or having laser skin treatments. This, is her business. However, she never passes up the opportunity to impart some of her beauty or fitness advice on me. I am 5'5 and weigh about 160 lbs. The other day we were walking up the steps at the same time and she said, "hold it". She then put her hand on my thigh and instructed me how to contract my muscles while I walked up the steps to tone muscle and lift my buttocks. I kid you not. She also loves to suggest lotions and potions that work for her. Her lotions and potions are not in my budget, but she does not consider this, for she is in her own world. I have hair on my arms. She tells me, "I used to have arm hair, I felt like an orangatang. You need to laser that off. It will take six sessions and be gone forever. I'll make an appointment with my gal for you". Again, she just doesn't get that I don't have money to blow on 6 laser arm hair treatments, but she did make me so self conscious about my arm hair, I started layering tshirts with long sleeved shirts underneath.

I agreed to go grocery shopping as part of my job. No big deal. Wrong. I go to five markets a week and shop every day somewhere. I have been sent to Korean grocers and remote fish markets and whole foods all in one day. My lists are peppered with hard to find items. Grocery shopping is probably thirteen percent of my job.

I am a bit more eco friendly than my boss and her husband. I believe in recycling. She doesn't. I offered to handle all of the recycling for her. She said, "I don't want a bunch of ugly plastic containers around the house. Pass". She also told me on Monday that she "drank an entire six pack of diet coke on Sunday and smiled every time she tossed a can in the garbage". Yes, she thinks it's cool to be destructive.

She has two children, a boy and a girl. The boy she treats like gold. He can do no wrong. He was playing with his penis at the kitchen table and I said, "henry, lets use your hands to eat your cereal". Mom jumps in, "Henry, that is your personal penis. If you want to touch him, go in the bathroom" and then she shoots me a dirty look like I have somehow scarred him for life.
Her daughter is 19 months old. She blow dries her hair EVERY DAY except when she cannot because I give her a bath in which case I am instructed to BLOWDRY her hair. This is an all season thing. I can understand getting the wetness out of a child's hair, but the little girl's hair is thin and doesn't really hold water and mom likes to STYLE it.

Mom's relationship with her husband is wonderful. They don't fight. They speak respectfully to each other. He adores her and she him. But they love to show affection when they say their hellos and goodbyes. I am most often there during these exchanges as it usually breakfast and dinner time. We're talking movie kisses with slurping and spit as they part. Can you imagine how uncomfortable I am? The husband calls the house looking for his wife many times a week. He expects me to know where she is, but if she doesn't tell me where she is going, I don't ask.
My employer is also not very bright. The housekeeper had left a can of concentrated orange juice on the counter. I had passed it by and not done anything with it. A bit later, my employer says "taste this, does this taste bad". She is drinking a glass of orange juice from a juice class. I take a sip, it is overpowering. I say, "did you dilute it?" She just looks at me. I don't think she knew what dilute meant. I tell her she was supposed to add the cans of water to it and mix it in a picture. Her response, "Then why wouldn't I buy it from a carton?". (I don't know!)
The last annoyance that I care to mention here is my boss and her Internet savvy. She constantly needs my assistance and it doesn't matter if I am busy building castles downstairs. She will summon me by the house PA system, "I neeeeeeeeeed you". The pressing problems? She accidentally sent a blank email, she is stuck on all caps, her number key pad won't work, she has typed facebook as acebook and is trapped in to doing a bunch of surveys.

I get paid every Friday, on time. My check never bounces. I don't have to remind either of them and they are never late. To those with jobs who think they have real grievances, I say suck it up and be grateful. And when the weather is bad, the father stays home and they don't want or need me.

Nanny Drops a Little Hint in a Big Way...

Received Thursday, February 25, 2010
http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com To the Parents of the 3 children I nanny.... I know you read this site everyday so I am writing this knowing you will see it:

Tomorrow, a major storm is expected to hit our area. You live in a Bergen County town that does not clear the streets. You have already told me you plan to work from home tomorrow and Friday because you are too nervous to drive. Even so, you will insist I show up on time at 9am tomorrow and remain all day until 6 or 7 pm. Then you will expect me to be there once again on Friday while you hang around doing nothing and I risk life, limb and vehicle. Please do not call me in the heart of the storm asking if I can come "just for a few hours" because I have an SUV.

Here's a thought, spend some time with the kids you spent years and thousands of dollars trying to conceive. They're great kids. We have a ball building snowmen, sleigh riding and sipping hot cocoa by the fire. Bake some cookies with them. They love doing that on a cold, snowy day. Do not call me and try to guilt me into showing up when it's coming down at an inch an hour and your street is unplowed. Just bite the bullet and spend some time with your kids... you might even enjoy it! And please, when I do show up for work, make sure your steps are clear not loaded with ice. I have fallen twice on your uncleared, untreated property. Third time is the charm. I fall again, I sue. Thinking of firing me, go right ahead. I don't know how I will manage getting home 2 hours late every night and being called in to work on days with no notice. Oh and next time you 'forget" my paycheck at work, I am going to forget I work for you. And your kids can wonder who will pick them up at school that Monday. By the way, I am looking for another job and you will get 3 weeks notice. CHEERS!

The Nanny Case on Judge Judy

Thursday February 25, 2010
by popular demand....

23 February, 2010

In the news...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A baby boy died in the care of a babysitter in a hotel room Tuesday, and the woman faces charges though no foul play is suspected, Riverdale Police Chief Samuel Patterson told the AJC.
The 6-month-old's lungs were filled with fluid and his body was stiff by the time the caretaker drove him to Southern Regional Medical Center, the police chief said. The babysitter advertised her services on the popular classified advertising Web site Craigslist, Patterson said. He said police had reason to believe the mother did as well and that he's unsure which party responded to which ad but that investigators were "satisfied that they hooked up on Craigslist." (Never, never leave your children with anyone you don't know. It isn't just easier said then done!)

A 44-year-old woman pleaded guilty Monday to stealing a $60,000 pair of earrings from the Atherton family she worked for as a housekeeper and taking $4,000 from the family's nanny, attorneys said. Renee Cuela, of Redwood City, faces a maximum sentence of two years in prison after entering guilty pleas to one felony count of grand theft and another to possession of stolen property, said San Mateo County Chief Deputy District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe. She also agreed to pay up to $64,000 in restitution. (You have to really feel for the nanny, here. Can you imagine the element of mistrust in that home? Although kudos to the housekeeper for now claiming that she was a victim of human trafficking)

Neighborhood Flasher Warning (Forest Hills)
Customers at a popular Forest Hills Starbucks have been getting a little bit more than they paid for.A scraggly man has been exposing himself to customers and their children for the last few weeks inside the coffee joint, patrons and employees said.
What made the indignity more irksome was that rank-and-file baristas were told they're not allowed to kick the bum out - a task reserved for managers, according to employees.

Mother Shocked that Dream Nanny not so very Dreamy (For real?)
Chrissie LaBorde thought she'd finally found the perfect nanny to care for her two young children while she and her husband were busy opening their new automotive repair business. On www.craigslist.com, she found Anna DeRosa — a registered nurse with glowing references, and a name and Social Security number that came back clean with the Monroe County Clerk's Office and Social Security Administration. She would be paid $300 per week, with holidays and paid vacation and sick days, to care daily for the LaBordes' children, ages 4 and 6. (You didn't wonder why a registered nurse would work long nanny hours for $300 a week?)

Accused nanny faces new child porn charges
The nanny who allegedly abused a boy in Grand Isle County is now facing a slew of child porn charges. Police say Donald Shepherd, 24, has been charged with 18 counts of using a child in a sexual performance and 6 counts of possession of child pornography. Police say they found over 650 digital images and 50 videos during their lengthy investigation and forensic exam of Shepherd's property. (Ignore the pc rehetoric, it's okay to be suspicious of male nannies. And female nannies!)

“Judge Judy” episode that airs at 3 p.m. Wednesday
Nanny Cynthia Bell of San Diego issuing Lisa Costa and Joseph Dudenhoeffer of Newport Beach, contending they owe her $4,000 for lost wages and the expense of changing her flights after they fired her a week into a nanny job in Europe. They say Bell couldn’t keep their son quiet on the plane, let him get sunburned once they arrived and left the hotel room at one point to party on the beach. Costa tells Judge Judy that Bell couldn’t care for the kid, quit and had a round-trip ticket to use to get home, according to a press release describing the episode. Judge Judy isn’t exactly falling for it, though.

21 February, 2010

Overworked, underpaid and degraded to my breaking point...

Received Sunday, February 21, 2010
http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com I am a 20-year-old college student working for a very close family member as a nanny to his three children, ages 1, 4 and 6. I started on June 1st 2009 working 25 hours a week for $1200 a month. While things started out on a positive note, they have steadily declined and led me to feel overworked, underpaid and degraded to my breaking point. At first I was only assigned light housework, although that included the entire family’s laundry. In November I moved to a more expensive apartment and asked for a raise to $1400 a month. They seemed very hesitant to shell out that much money, although we were standing in a 5,000 sq. foot house and they had just returned from a week-long family vacation. They said I would need to work extra hours and “extra cleaning duties,” although they didn’t specify what those would be. We all decided I would add Thursdays from 7:30 – 1:30 and that these would be my “cleaning days.” We agreed that the children would be out of the house with their parents so that I could get the cleaning done. The mother would give me a list every Thursday detailing what she would need done. Each day would consist of 3-4 hours of actual cleaning, but some common tasks that appeared on the lists were cleaning the parents’ bathroom (sink, shower, tub), vacuuming the entire house including the stairs, changing the sheets on all five beds, wiping down the entire kitchen including inside/outside all appliances and counters, sweeping/mopping all tile floors, cleaning all the clutter downstairs, dusting the entire house, scrubbing the baseboards, the lists go on. Although I am not a trained “maid” I was almost always able to finish the list in plenty of time and there weren’t really any problems.

Last month school started up for me again and my class schedule was a little different than last Fall. So now I work 7:30-2:30 Mondays, 7:30-6:00 Tuesdays, and Wednesdays and Thursdays from 7:30-4:30. Apparently it was hard for them to arrange for someone to be home by 2:30 every Monday so that I could get to class, and they told me that, but they made it work and I was grateful. They said the cleaning day wouldn’t work with this schedule, that every hour was a childcare hour. The mom said that “I shouldn’t have trouble fitting the cleaning day into my free time during the week.” Well, she’s wrong. Since the baby is the only one who takes naps anymore, and I still have to finish the entire family’s laundry, I really only have an hour or two of “free time” each week.

Then one of my friends who happens to be a nanny showed me the Berkeley Parents Network 2008 salary survey. 880 families participated and I am on the extreme low end of the payscale reported in the survey. This came as a complete shock to me. Why would my own family members, who constantly tell me how happy they are with me as a nanny, pay me less that most families pay complete strangers? I brought this information to the father, assuming that he was just ignorant of the norm in this area (he moved here to the San Francisco Bay Area from Redding last year). I was appaled at his reaction. First he said that I hurt his feelings by bringing him this, and that it apparently signified that I wasn’t being emotionally open with him and had to hide my true feelings by boiling it down to numbers. Second, when I tried to tell him that the cleaning workload is unrealistic with this schedule, he said something that boils my blood as I type this. “I know it takes away from your time with the kids, but you don’t know how invaluable that service is to us. By making sure my wife and I don’t have any little chores to worry about when we get home, you allow me to focus on my kids. You’re helping us be better parents.” To me this suggests that he expects me to ignore the kids in order to clean up after HIM! Then he told me to go organize my thoughts and come back when I was sure what I wanted to be paid, not just what “some extremely wealthy family” pays their nannies. He said that there isn’t a lot of money left on the table, and that he feels that $11.75 an hour is a fair wage because “that’s what we pay the employees in our business.” Well, the sittercity.com rate calculator says that someone with my age and experience should make $14.75 an hour for watching three children.

How do I present what I think is fair when he rejects data as a basis for it? I seriously don’t know what to do, I know it was my fault for not doing the research in the beginning but now I feel trapped in an unacceptable situation. I don’t know if I’m just looking for some validation from other nannies out there or help to find the strength to stand up to them. I’m in a bad place right now and could really use some advice… And hey, if what I’ve described actually isn’t all that bad, then tell me. Maybe what I need is a wake-up call.

Contract Negotiations...

Received Sunday, February 21, 2010
http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com I am a huge fan of this blog. I know what kind of comments are coming (I'm a pushover, grow some balls, you should quit, etc) but I would also appreciate some feedback regarding the negotiations. I will try to give you as much background info as possible.

I am a live-in nanny for a five year old autistic boy and his 23 month old little brother. Mom owns own business and Dad "works" for business by fixing broken equipment and buying/ordering supplies. I am paid $400 weekly on the books, no benefits. I work anywhere from 50-55 hours per week with Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday off (supposedly). I had 2 years experience as a live-in for one other family before I took this job March 2009.

I feel that the parents are taking advantage of me, mostly in the areas of working hours and personal time. In my contract I agreed to include date nights and anytime that the parents had meetings or appointments as part of the weekly salary. Stupid, I know. I am now working minimum of 5 hours every Thursday and the parents decided Saturday morning if they are going out that night. When I first started the mom had filled out a calendar of what days and hours I would be needed to work extra, but that didn't last more than 3 months. I also agreed to pick up their son from school (40 minutes away) on the days that dad was too busy. Verbally discussed how dad loves to spend time with his son and that he would do everything he can to pick him up on a daily basis. Me picking him up would only be a last resort, backup plan. Since Christmas vacation, dad has picked up him 4 times. I am in the process of getting my master's degree and most nights and weekends I am at the house studying. I really do not have any time left after working and studying to go out. If the parents have something "come up" and they need a babysitter, I am asked if I'm going anywhere. Of course the answer is no because I had plans on studying, but yet I find myself watching the boys. The times that I have said no to them, they call grandma to babysit. Every time I have come back she is asleep on the couch and there is drawings on the wall, one of the boys is hurt, or (this happened the last time she came over) the autistic boy was giving his 2 year old brother a bath. Since then, I have sacrificed the schoolwork to watch them when their parents leave.

Before I started the job, I asked for a higher salary and health insurance. The parents were shocked that I had asked for more money and they said that health insurance was too expensive. Now a year later, I know that I have job security and I'm more confident that they really do need me and that they would have a hard time replacing me. (I heard the horror stories about previous nannies and the interview process to find me).

What way have worked for you (nannies) or you respected (employers) when it came to contract negotiations? How would you go about addressing these issues and still maintaining a good, working relationship with the parents?

20 February, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, February 20, 2010
cl wtd 656
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Adult Babysitter Needed (Arkansas)
Adult Baby looking for a babysitter. I'm a 32 yr old male who needs a babysitter time to time for a few hours. My job and life can be very stressful and being babied really relaxes me. During this time I enjoy being a baby wearing and wetting my diapers, sucking a bottle, and being held. This is not sexual for me, it is a relaxing excape. I would perfer and older bbw woman to babysit me if possible. If you have any questions please reply. thank you
(Note: This Ad was actually listed in the Childcare section of CL, not the Adult... and it has since been flagged for removal)
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Special thanks to mcdirhim for the insane Feature Ad! Now that was truly WTF-worthy! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Contributions: NannyBee, ShoporPost, SarahHamilton523, throughmyeyesblog, michelle.j.nelson, Cinder38, JLow2474, Krupitzerb, LindsayElaineFreeman, alwaysangelnbuffy, Supernanny212, mbargielski, KristinM2176 and Kate in PA... all of you did an amazing job! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And please do not forget to include the Links to your Ads!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

13 February, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

....WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Childcare Needed (Madison) - OP
Hi, I'm Jaclyn.
I'm a single mom of an almost 2 yr. old boy.
We live in Watertown w/my parents.
I just got hired as a part-time room attendent/housekeeper at Olympia Resort in Oconomowoc.
I would be in need of childcare in the Watertown surrounding area.
I would prefer to have you care for my son in your home [as long as it's Watertown/Oconomowoc surrounding areas] or mine.
Either place, I would expect you to provide snacks +meals +definately keep my son on his normal schedual for naps [one nap between 10:30am-1pm].
Please don't let my son nap over 2 hours, thanks.
If you care for my son in my home, I would ask for you to do some light household cleaning duties.
I also expect you to have reliable transportation WHICH INCLUDES clean + safe driving AND public records.
I would also expect you to actually interact + play with my son, not have him watch tv so much.
Some t.v. shows [i.e. Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, Go Diego Go! or any PBS/educational shows] are okay; tv time - up to 1 hr./day.
He loves to help in general, especially with cleaning. He also loves playing with cars, trucks, blocks, trains + he loves dancing to music.
He isn't potty trained yet, but we're slowly starting - getting him use to what the potty does/is made for, try having him sit down a few times each day, etc.
He also has no allergies that we know of that you'll need to be concerned about.
I am negotiable about costs, but they have to be reasonable +understandable.
I am on a tight budget so I can pay up to $10/day.
I would be working Mon-Fri 8am-4pm +sometimes overtime [Sat + Sun - same hours].
I would let you know ahead of time if I need care on the weekends too.
For sure I would need care for the weekdays at those times.
My parents work from 8am-5pm + they don't get home till around between 5:10-6pm.
My significant other, Carl, who was recently working full-time at Briggs + Stratton in Jefferson, was laid off.
He only works part-time at Ellias Inn - every other weekend.
He is looking for a part-time or full-time job.
He can help me watch my son UNTIL he gets hired + has to work.
I would need childcare ONLY after he starts working.
I would prefer someone who's honest, caring, loyal, etc.
I would also prefer someone who has an Early Childcare Education background or someone who has many experiences with children.
Anyone who knows CPR well or is CPR certified, along with/or they've worked in a daycare setting would be great too.
**Please NOT anyone who has a bad record of any sort - NO dui's, NO many traffic violations, NO drug-related,, NO burglaries/theft, +definately NOT domestic abuse, etc.**
Please call me at:
920-261-**** - PLEASE ONLY between 8am-8pm, thanks.
or at 920-285-****.
Please mostly try contacting me at the first listed phone number - home/landline, thanks.
**PLEASE NO SCAMMERS OR ANYONE FROM A FAR DISTANCE - WEST MADISON OR MILWAUKEE AREA.**
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1595641492.html

* Reaction from angry CL readers and response from OP of Ad:

2) RE: Childcare Needed (Madison)
Jaclyn,
Are you serious? You really think you are going to find a qualified childcare provider who will provide meals and snacks, clean your house and put in 40-50 hours per week for $10/day???????????? I'm hoping you meant $10/hr, otherwise, you should probably look into putting your child in a licensed daycare and applying for financial assistance. Daycare w/county assistance will be the only way to ensure good quality care that fits in your budget. Asking for someone to come into your home and work for $10/day is just insulting. Good luck!
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1595700664.html

3) RE: Childcare Needed (Madison)
I agree here. I HOPE this is a joke! I am a nanny and would NEVER work for less then 10$ per hr and for what your asking is a lot for what little you can afford. Maybe you should look into state help or a in home provider. Best of luck ;)
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1596302654.html

4) RE: Childcare Needed (Madison) - OP
You guys seriously need to understand I can't afford to pay more than what I'm making.
I can't give anyone over $160 for childcare.
I'm only making minimum wage/hr.
You can't expect everyone to afford childcare like magic.
This economy literally sucks right now + I am SO happy to be working again.
If that's not good enough for you, go take your business somewhere else.
But DON'T criticize people for not affording childcare over $160/week hen they aren't making that much in the first place.
Take your negative attitude somewhere else, please. I really don't need to deal w/mean + rude people like you.
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1596775529.html

5) RE: Childcare Needed (Madison) - OP
Here's also a great idea too like the other lady was saying who ACTUALLY DOES support me + my descisions.
Realize this:
I can't live off of my parents anymore.
I need to own up to my respeonsibility + raise my own son in MY OWN HOME.
How will I get my own home? How about try working everyday at a job that ACTUALLY DOES take taxes out that gives me a steady pay check.
+how about you all just stay out of my business.
I seriously need to work. I'm NOT quitting my job.
I spend actually MORE time w/my family more than most people think I do.
I love it, but I want to support my child + have my own space/time away too.
I have spent a lot of time w/my son + I cherish it, but I still NEED to work, period.
Thank you for the others that have conversed w/me about this subject.
Thank you for supporting me + my decisions. (:
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1598300605.html

6) RE: Childcare Needed (Madison)
I don't think people are trying to bash you, but you should do your research about hiring an in-home nanny. Full-time nannies normally make $10-$15 an hour plus benefits. Qualified nannies are entitled to make a living too.
All I'm saying is, I understand your financial hardship, but don't expect a full-time nanny to come into your home for less than minimum wage with no benefits.

There are great full-day childcare centers which offer financial assistance for those who qualify. You're trying to get the Lexus for the price of a Ford. You need to be a bit more realistic.
But seriously, there are sooooo many resources out there that will assist you and your son. Just be sure to go with a State Licensed program, then you can apply for assistance and know your son is in a safe place and is receiving quality care:)
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1598638307.html
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Special thanks to MissDee for our Feature Ad... excellent find! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Contributions: JLow2474, JerkFaceJade, MissMannah, NannyBee, Krupitzerb, NJnanny, throughmyeyesblog and mbargielski... all of you did an awesome job! Jane and I really appreciate all of the positive feedback we have received for CL-WTF... it would not be possible without all of you! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

10 February, 2010

How Do I Survive a Bad Reference?

Received Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Perspective and Opinion on ISYN I was laid off of my last position back in August and I'm having difficulty finding new employment. When I was laid off, the family stated that it was due to the economy and could no longer afford to employ me, I was at a salary of 39k with health insurance. They went on and on about how wonderful I was and that they would be a great reference for me and would be happy to provide me with a reference letter. When I was laid off, I was asked to leave by the end of the week because family was coming to visit for the child's third birthday. I was in a rush to pack my things, possibly find new employment, and figure out how to move home with my parents if I needed to, so I figured that I would get the letter from the family when I was settled. Days before I left, I found an ad on a local nanny agency site and I'm positive it was my employers (it described their dog, the child's age, the type of car provided, and a baby being due in November).

I was heartbroken because they had told me that they already found my replacement. Honestly, all I wanted to do was finish out my week and leave.In my final days, I did my work and tried to dodge the parents because I was so hurt. They never once lead me to believe that my departure had anything to do with my performance, and on my last day they gave me a really nice thank you card and a bottle of wine (I decided that it might be best to keep my mouth such about the ad that I found because I wanted to stay on good terms with them so they would be a good reference).

When I moved home, I applied for unemployment benefits because I was unable to find a new position. As you know, the unemployment office checks with the employee's employer to see why they were let go. Needless to say, my previous employer's said that I was a horrible worker and failed to do the duties that they asked of me. The same day that I found out this information, my previous employer emailed me and said:

"We hope you are doing well, stay in touch. I will send some recent pictures of L's bday party soon. By the way, we completed some forms for the unemployment, they kinda changed some of our responses but I think it should be all set, they know your last day of pay is today. Good luck with school, we are proud of you for finishing your degree. Take Care."

I am very thankful though, because the unemployment ruled in my favor, and somehow found my previous employers to be a bit shady, because I provided the office with the email.

Now, six months later, I am still on unemployment benefits and am unable to find a new family. I know that I have to provide families with my previous employer. If I don't it will show a gap in my work history. Every time I get in contact with a prospective family, I feel great about our conversations and feels as if I'm getting somewhere. But, I never get a response back once they check my references. I have great references from professors, previous employers, and friends. My only hunch is that my last family is speaking very badly of me, and I honestly have no idea why. I'm not sure how to deal with this and I'm worried that I will never be able to find an new family. I'm horrified that someone would try to ruin my future without a reason why.


If you have a Nanny sighting you can send it to MPP anonymously using MEEBO or send it to Jane at isawyournanny@aol.com. Thank you!

Burnt Out Nanny

Received Wednesday, February 10, 2010 - Rants and Warnings
I have been working for this family since last summer, they have a 11 month old and a 5 1/2 year old. My average work day is 14 hrs! I am a m-f live in. I do have a contract that states that they intend to maintain a 55-65 hr work week with an average work week of 60 hrs. Well I can count on one hand how many times I have worked only 55 hours a week only if there is a holiday or I am sick. I have been sick 3 times since November, I have never been sick like this and I believe it is due to the hours, I am burning out. By the time they are home it is to late for me to do anything outside of the house. At this point I feel I am being taken advantage of and they are trying to get their money's worth if that makes sense. I just want to quit and file for unemployment. I have been looking for another position even out of childcare. I don't even want to talk with them about it, the father tends to catch a attitude and twists words around and my general opinion of the parents is they won't want to work with me just hire another person until they burn out, I don't think they have ever had anyone long term.

09 February, 2010

South End Library, Boston MA.

Received Tuesday, February 9, 2010
112009 sad face
Physical description of caregiver: Blonde hair with roots, straggly hair, white, greenish pale complexion. Looked extremely hung over and was wearing blue "pink" pants from victoria's secret and a sweatshirt. She looked exhausted and drained of all energy.
Physical description of involved child/children: 2 children: Audrey (about 3) very smart and shy, and Anali (about 3 months).
Address or venue of observed incident: South End Library, Boston MA.
Date and time of incident: 2/8/10 around 10:30-11:00 am.
Detailed description of what you witnessed: The baby was sleeping in the bottom of the stroller, and a bunch of nannies and our charges were sitting coloring and playing with dominos at the table. Audrey was by herself while her nanny was across the room talking on the phone to someone about how hungover she was and how she didn't even know what time she had gotten home. I asked Audrey if that was her nanny and she said yes and that her mommy and daddy were at work. I proceeded to talk to her and engage her in the activities that all the other children were participating in and her nanny didn't pay any attention at all. She was very pleased to be talking to someone and seemed somewhat relieved to be with us. A few minutes later the nanny had to get off the phone because the baby woke up. She held her loosely and fed her a bottle and didn't even search to make sure Audrey was in her sight. When Audrey went up to her nanny she casually booted her (not hard) and tried to distract her by pointing in another direction and asked her "What's that?" Then she just bounced the baby off her lap. We then invited Audrey to come play with us some more. It was extremely sad and I am sorry to have to post my first bad nanny sighting.
Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: Stroller with a place for baby in the bottom. Lots of pink.

06 February, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, February 6, 2010

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Looking for a live in Nanny (only) (ready to move in asap) (Colorado)
Hello, I am looking for someone to help me care for my 3 children. They are 4 years 2 years and 4 months. It is needed for monday thr friday from 4:30 am till 3:30pm, I will be at home sleeping. Most of the time. I work third shift and sleep during the day. My husband gets home about 3:30 4:00 everyday except weekends. You will be responible for keeping them somewhat quite during the day and getting them ready for kindigarden, doing prodgects with them. I only allow them to watch tv for in hour a day, and that is to watch there baby can read program. There is a park right down the road that you are welcome to take them too. There will be some nights on the weekends where I would like to go out to dinner with my husband. That would most likely only be like maybe once a month.

You will also be responsible for makeing them Lunch and brecfest, I do have them on a sceduale that I will want you to follow. They all still go down for naps. I would also expect you to pick up after the kids and keep up with there Laundry.

**You would be sharing a room with my 4 month old daughter, You are welcome to bring a pet or 2 if you already have one, we are a pet friendly home. Room and bored will be provided. We do not have a extra car for you to use at the moment, so you will have to have your own for now. The room, already has a bed in there but if you would like to bring your own you are welcome to, you will have your own closet to use, you also have a bathroom you will need to share with the kids because it has a tub in it. We have another half bathroom down stairs in the family room, and one in our bedroom that has a shower. We have the enternet and cable you are welcome to use anytime.

We are a very loving family, we will do everything in our power to make you feel comportable in our home. We would like this to atleast work out for a year or more. We are a very easy going family, times are tough and we really need work. We will start you off by paying you 350.00 a month Plus room and board. We would like to find someone by monday...
Please feel free to call us or email us animal-lover86@**** or addonnis1@****
Cell number 262-995-**** or call our home number 719-591-**** Ask for Sarah or Mike
Original URL: http://cosprings.craigslist.org/kid/1583970882.html
______________________________________________________________
Special thanks to the Anonymous Contributor for our Feature... if you would like credit, please send your Moniker. Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Contributions... kiddiepsyc, dimples01, missmannah, mbargielski, mgogerty83 and Cinder38... all of you did an amzing job this week! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

04 February, 2010

February 4, 2010

How to Speak Nanny....
THE mother was annoyed with her nanny, and she went on the Web to vent. The nanny had fed the children a casserole that the mother had intended to serve for dinner. “Now I have to come up with something else,” she wrote on a popular site for mothers, exasperation radiating from the computer screen.

Nanny Dawn Myers used to think of her job as a “short-term gig, lasting maybe a year or two, tops.’’ But these days, the 26 year-old from Chelmsford is holding on tight, well into year two. “Three to five years ago, you could blink and get a job,’’ said Susanne Vigneau, owner of North Andover-based Annie’s Nannies, which places full- and part-time nannies for fees ranging from $600 to $2,500. “There used to be bidding wars. Now nannies are lucky to have a job that’s 15 hours a week.’’

Babysitter Get 10 Years For Shaking 10 Month-Old
Baby sitter arrested on charges she lied to police
Babysitter sent to prison for killing nine month old boy

02 February, 2010

When Nannies Step Up to Parent a Neglected Child

Received Tuesday, February 2, 2010 - Rants and Warnings
I have been contemplating writing this since I stumbled upon this site a few weeks ago. I finally decided to just do it because I have nothing to lose and maybe I will get some great advice and relieve some frustration at the same time.

I am the nanny to one great little boy (Little Dude) who is 23 months old and have been with him for nearly a year. I will start out by saying that I know I was naive going into this job (stupid of me since I have been a nanny for a decade and worked with many families) but I have decided that once my year is up I will not be renewing my 'contract' with this family. This decision has brought a lot of issues to the front of my mind and I find myself being torn up about them all.

When I first started this job Little Dude was very quiet, he didn't say a word, he didn't interact with me at all, he didn't show any form joy when playing with the numerous amounts of toys in his play yard. All in all he wasn't your typical 1 year old child. A few days into my position I approached the mother with my observations. She sat down all upset and told me all about this horrible nanny that they had for Little Dude when he was 6 months old until just before I arrived. Supposedly she just left him in his crib, in his swing or in his play yard all day long with out any interaction. The parents only found out because the mother arrived home early from work one day and her son was laying in his crib in a soiled diaper and the nanny was in her room with an ipod plugged into her ears and uncaring that her charge is in need of care. Well The Mother let her go right away and they started searching for a new nanny (ie ME!)

I was upset for Little Dude, wondering why someone would do that to a child. (I know it happens, but it breaks my heart). So I started working hard to bring Little Dude out of his shell. Within a month he had said his first word, he was laughing and he had started being a little less aggressive. (He had a problem with biting, hitting out, and scratching anyone with in range). I had thought that maybe the issues with the previous nanny would slowly be forgotten by Little Dude and he would not have any scars from it.

By the end of the month I had come to the realization that a bad previous nanny was one of the least problems Little Dude had with his life. Slowly but surely his parents' interactions with him began to wane as they became more comfortable with my presence there. They began working later, not getting up with him in the mornings (knocking on my door asking me to take him because they didn't have the time) and then finally they stopped getting up at night with him. (I once listened to him scream and cry for 50 minutes one night. The next morning they sat down with me and 'informed' me that they had 'important' jobs that they needed to be alert so they couldn't be responsible for waking up all night long.')

His mother sees Little Dude a maximum of 30 minutes a day (when she isn't working late and when she takes the time to slow down). And his father sees him possibly 5 minutes a day in the morning when he runs out the door. The sad part is that Little Dude has stopped asking them for attention. He used to go in the mornings and sit by their bedroom door and sob for them. (They ignored him, but he could hear them through the door). Until I would come and pick him up and try to distract him. Now he doesn't ask for them, he ignores them and will just play as if they aren't there. (This breaks my heart because I have told them what is going on and they don't believe me). Sunday's are supposed to be Little Dude's time with his parents but 9 times out of 10 he ends up spending the day with his Grandmother while the parents do incredibly important things with their day.

It is bad enough that they withhold their attention, love (Little Dude's dad won't even kiss him because he thinks it is 'Gay') and respect. They can't even be bothered to spend any of their hard earned money on him. This Spring/Summer Little Dude went 3 weeks without any shoes because they couldn't take the time to pick him up a pair that actually fit him. When I kept reminding them that he was missing out on activities etc because he couldn't walk in bare feet, they told me to just put his old shoes on him, which is ridiculous because they were too small.

Little Dude has been playing with toys that are too young for his age and maturity level because they can't be bothered to purchase toys for him since he has 'a playroom full of toys to play with'. I finally went out and bought him some age appropriate toys and it was amazing. From a set of lettered blocks he has learned to recognize all the letters of the alphabet in one month (he now points them out and says them for me when we are out). Little Dude is a very bright child when he is properly stimulated. He is now speaking in clear sentences, learning his colors, numbers and takes a joy in reading books with me.

This is where it gets so hard. This is where I feel like bawling my eyes out as I write this. I will be giving my notice the the beginning of April and leaving the beginning of May. On top of all the issues with Little Dude, I have been working 24 hours a day 6 days a week without even being guaranteed my Saturday nights off (they once left on a Saturday night without letting me know and I made plans to go out. As I was leaving the house through the garage I noticed that one of the cars was not there. I texted the mother and she texted back to say they had gone out to meet some friends ON MY NIGHT OFF, so obviously that night out was ruined... but the worst would have been if I had left and didn't realize that no one was home with the BABY!). I am burned out. I have actually contemplated not staying in the child care field (which if you knew me was a huge thing to even think about). But now I have to leave because it is becoming detrimental to my health to stay here. I am exhausted. I suffered from a kidney stone last month and they got MAD at me for making them take a day off from work. All I heard was how hard it was for them. Hello, I am on massive pain killers and still in a lot of pain. Well after 2 days off they made me come back or they were going to kick me out. So there I was in massive pain, unable to take pain pills and unable to pick up Little Dude and they were telling me that I either started working again or I was out on the street. That was the beginning of the end.

But the idea that I would be leaving Little Dude in their hands (I know he isn't my child, there is no boundary issues like that here), but it really upsets me that he is older and will remember this. Also, they got lucky when they hired me, they could easily hire another woman like the first nanny, and the idea kills me. But I can't honestly recommend this position to anyone of repute because of the parents. The best thing would be for Little Dude to go into a child care center so at least he will be getting proper care without anyone having to deal too much with his parents.

I don't know if I am making sense in this post, I just needed to get this out and honestly see if anyone has had this experience before. What did you do? How did you leave without it killing you walking away from the child?

On a note I have spoken to a friend who works for DCFS to see if there is any form of abuse or anything like that going on, but she states that since they have hired someone to look after Little Dude they aren't doing anything wrong... but of course they won't win parent of the year award. The crazy thing is, is that they just don't see that they are doing anything wrong... they just don't grasp it.

01 February, 2010

I am tired...

Received Monday, February 1, 2010 - Rants and Warnings
Dear my stupid bosses, I am tired. I am tired of coming in every morning, and your daughter, having been up for at least an hour, sitting in a full wet diaper from the night before. I am tired of the dad saying he didn’t have a chance to change her yet, when I ask him about it. I am tired of coming in on Monday mornings and you all being out of diapers. I am tired of you sending me out to the store, with your daughter in a full diaper, to buy more diapers, because you didn’t realize you were low on diapers. I am tired of finding the sink full of dishes from the previous night just sitting there, waiting for me to put them in the dishwasher. I am tired of you being oblivious to what is going on around you. I am tired of you assuming I will take care of everything for you, specifically those things not related to caring for your child. I am tired.