I SAW YOUR NANNY

Monday

I have a situation going on and getting worse and want to know if you think this is fair.

I am a size 4/6 and my boss is a size 4. I have worked as her nanny for three years. When she clears her closet out at the end of the season or does a big shopping, she always gives me her old clothes, which I really appreciate because they are nice and a quality I would not normally afford. I considered this a serious perk of my job and always expressed appreciation.

In February, a new housekeeper started. She seemed much better than the other housekeepers as in she was a real go getter. I came in one Monday and noticed the housekeeper carrying out garbage bags of clothing. I knew immediately what it was. My boss didn't say anything at all. Later that day I brought it up, I said, "did you do your closets already?" She replied, "Veronica offered to help so how could I say no". I just looked away. Veronica is easily a size 12/14. I doubled back in the room and I asked as if I didn't know.."Is there anything you want to get ride of?" And she looked at me guilty and said, "Verronica asked. She said she has cousins my size and they are looking for jobs and such and I'm sure your closets are full".

From this moment on, things turned between the housekeeper and I. She was always trying to get things. For example, if I took the kids out for ice cream, she would have no problem saying, "Oh no fair...can you bring me back some chocolate marshmallow?" I took the high road. I said, "Oh, I would, but we are going to the park after". She looks at me with serious eyes and says, "Oh go to the park first, please". I just laughed and said, "Sorry..that's not the plan...we're meeting friends". The housekeeper works from 730-1230 4 days a week. Her job is nothing like mine. Would you believe that my boss drove to the ice cream store and got her two QUARTS of ice cream because she felt bad?

She has been here five months. Her and I don't usually talk because I don't like or trust her and she just studies me. She told me point blank that she's tired of working three different jobs and that her ideal job would combine working for school aged kids and doing housekeeping while they were in school so she could just work for one employer. My youngest charge starts 1/2 day kindergarten in the Fall. I was looking forward to having some free time. I really feel she is out to get me.I know she wants me job.

Well I thought I had dealt with the worst of it. I came in today, Monday at 10, because I start at 10 on Mondays. She is loading toys into her minivan. She looks at me and smiles and says, "You're going to thank me when you see the playroom". I look at what she is carrying out and one of the things is a race track set that the middle child still plays with and loves. We keep it in a bin because it is big, and expansive. I freaked out. I said, "Why are you taking that?" She tells me our boss told her to help thin it out that the kids had too much and would be outside all summer anyway. I said, "Well, there are rainy days and I bought that for him for his last birthday, seven months ago. He still plays with it". She looks at me and shakes her head and says, "I don't think so". I said, "How would you know, you only work 4 half days. He's not even home when you're here. She tells me, "Wow, calm down" I told her I was calm but I didn't think she should be taking all of that stuff. She hands it to me so harshly I feel like Im going to have a bruise on my stomach and says, "well jeez April, if it means that much to you.." Again, acting like I am the one who is nuts.

My boss has been out running errands all day. I need to sit down and talk to her. But I don't know what to say because I really feel like this housekeeper has been trying to sabotage me. She even texts my boss throughout the day. I've been here three years! Three years. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? I want to come through it gracefully and I know this idiot is trying to make me look foolish!

Please help!

Share your stories with us. Email isynblog@gmail.com.

How did this get to be my life?

My employers backed me in to working Friday night because they didn't return from a trip to AC as planned and were going to come the next day. I was already exhausted from last night and all day today.
I usually am done on Fridays by six. But at 7 I was feeding the girls dinner. I was waiting for the 10 year old to come home. He didn't. I had to take the 7 year old girl and her two playdates with me through the neighborhood looking for the boy who wasn't where he said he would be. After 20 minutes of looking and no one having seen him, I got really panicked. I called one of the mothers of the children and explained the situation. I asked if I could leave the girls with her until I found the kid. She was PISSED at me, but reluctantly agreed. (This is the mother of one of the 7 year olds).
I finally found one kid who had seen the ten year old and told me he "walked to the store to play video games with 'Troubled Teen'". I was in the car then driving to the convenience store that has the two video games. The cashier told me that he thought he was there, but not with a teenager, with a redheaded woman he thought was the mom. By now, I am shaking. I run out of the store and my phone drops and slides like a bowling bowl on the pavement and skids about 30 feet, just before a van runs directly over it. Now I have no phone.

Caterina Bianchetti

I drive home scared shitless and pull up on the curb quickly and literally snap one of the new maple trees in half. I run in the house to use the house phone but I can't find it anywhere. I run next door to the neighbors to use their phone. It's now 8 o clock. Finally their teenage babysitter comes to the door, wearing a tshirt and underwear. I know her, she says, "My God, Suzy, you scared the crap out of me, why are you banging on the door." I ask to use her phone. She calls out and her teenage boyfriend comes down the stairs in plaid boxers and nothing else. He is on the phone, but hangs up and gives me his phone. I stand at the doorway with half dressed teens listening to a baby coo on the monitor and dial 911. They tell me they are sending an officer right over.
I run back to the house, run in the kitchen and there is the ten year old. He looks at me and says, "What am I supposed to eat?". I run back to the neighbor's house. The teens are already back upstairs, but come down. I use the phone to call and cancel the 911 call. As I am on the phone, the first of four cars shows up.
I run to the curb and meet the police officers and start babbling about what happened. The police officer looks at me with anger and tells me, "Look, you need to calm down". They asked to see the child. I open the door and call out for him and he doesn't answer. Finally, I find him. He is in the shower. I have to yell through the door to have him come downstairs.
Fortunately only one unit waited and they are waiting in the foyer looking at me like I am a nut. One police officer talks to the 10 year old, asks where he was, if he's okay, and what his relationship is to me. The other officer asks me if that is my car "on the sidewalk". I explain I was in a hurry. He asks me if I have been drinking. I burst out laughing. He tells me "I'm not sure what's funny here." I burst into tears. The ten year old comes to my side and hugs me. Then he starts crying and saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Finally the cops leave.
I get the 10 year old to walk with me to pick up the girls down the street but they are not there. The mom looks at me annoyed and says, "I couldn't handle the three of them, I had "Other child's mom" come and get them. I have to go home get back in the car and drive over to other child's house. When I get there, that mom is nice and I explain what happened. She lends me her teenager's emergency cell phone. She offers to just let the girls stay here since they are watching a movie and fine. I ask them if it is okay and they say it is. I call my boss and the other mom and make sure that is okay. I leave a VM with my boss and the other mother says, "I guess". Like she's inconvenienced!
We go back home and the 10 year old asks if we can make brownies since it is just us. I say yes. We make a pan of brownies and put them in the oven. I go in the family room with him to play video games with him. The emergency cell phone doesn't stop ringing with calls for the teen. I tune out after awhile. Then there is bannging at the door. I run to the door. It's the father of the child that my charge is now spending the night with. "Why aren't you answering" he asks. (I was, I answered the phone atleast 30 times by then!). He tells me that he thinks my charge is having an asthma attack and needs her inhaler. I'm totally confused. "X doesn't have asthma, is she okay?" He's out of breath and tells me that the girls tried some of their take out shrimp and she started wheezing and has hives on her forearm. I get in the car with him and we go back to his house, with the 10 year old.
At the house, I run ahead of him and call out my charge's name. I see her sitting against a wall. "Oh my God, are you okay?" I ask, looking for distress. The father is behind me, "She's fine, it's :other child". "Other child"? I ask. "Other child?" It's the other girl. She does have some hives on her arm but doesn't seem to be having any breathing issues. I tell the father to call her Mom. He does. She comes over to this house, pulls up with an angry screech and comes to the door. She asks me, "Just what kind of circus are you running here?" I try to explain. The father jumps in and explains. She looks at him and says, "WHY WOULD YOU LET ME CHILD HAVE SHRIMP?" He tells her she needs to calm down. The mom takes her daughter home after a few not so nice exchanges which leave both remaining girls crying. I ask my charge if she wants to come home. She doesn't. The 10 year old is complaining the whole time about being bored. Everything is finally settled.
We leave and walk home now, since we drove with him. As I get closer to our house, I can hear the smoke detector. I run as fast as I can through the yards and get there and open the door and the house is filling with smoke. I remember the brownies. I grab them from the oven and in a panic, I throw them outside on the front porch. I throw all of the window open. The smoke detector goes off. I go outside to the front porch and pick up charred brownie crumbs from everywhere.
I get back inside the house and the 10 year old says, "now what do I eat?"
I fall asleep on the sofa as the ten year old is playing games next to me.
The next morning is hectic with sports. I am so tired. The parents get home at around 1. They give me ....$50 dollars for the "extra sitting". Yes, $50 in total for Thurs and Friday night and half a day on Saturday.
HOW DID THIS GET TO BE MY LIFE?

Share your stories, experiences and rants with I Saw Your Nanny. Email isynblog@gmail.com.

St. Catherine's Park in NYC

Location: St. Catherine's Park in NYC
Date: 6/20 Saturday 10:20 AM on
Description of Nanny: I saw Your Nanny, she had thick, curly brown hair with red highlights, hispanic with a large round face but normal body. Wearing jeans, hi top tennis shoes and a rose tatoo style tanktop.
Description of Child: Chubby Boy, between 2 & 3 years old. Dark hair, blue-blue eyes. Sat in black Bugaboo Bee style stroller with white canopy.
Incident: Beautiful Day. That's why so many people were out at the park. This little guy wanted to get out of his stroller and the whole time he was there, she just sat at a bench and kept him in there while she read from a tela- novella type magazine. The boy had words enough to ask "play now? now play?" and even tried to climb out of the stroller. Every time he did, she pacified him with food. Including, his juice, which when was empty, she refilled from her can of A & W root-beer. The whole time she was just shoving food at him. Bags of colored cereal, little crackers, even what looked like gummy worm type candy, and not a little bit. This bothered me because of the food, the kid was already chunky, he wasn't allowed physical activity and the nanny didn't even have to look up from her book or scold him. You could tell this was their routine. Very sad!

Send your nanny sighting to isynblog@gmail.com.

Sunday

Ads of Ill Repute

We've had very few submissions for Ads of Ill Repute. Is this a feature to keep or to lose? What do you think?

http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/kid/5063546854.html

I don't know if this makes me sad because it exists or because it's Hoboken.
http://cnj.craigslist.org/kid/5069815357.html

Saturday

#NannyProblems 2015, #1

*Hashtag #nannyproblems or #isyn for inclusion in any of our features.

Friday

Summer Salary Survey

Sonia Shetty

We've heard from a lot of nannies this week about summertime. Some nannies are thrilled with their summer travel plans and extra pay, while other nannies face longer hours with the same pay or their hours being cut do to camps and family travel.

So we're doing a Summer Salary Survey.
Please complete the following information and send it to us. If you prefer to submit anonymously, use the tool in the right sidebar with the "email address"anonymous@nanny.com. You may also message us on Facebook or email your response to isynblog@gmail.com.

Regular Pay:
Summer Pay:
Regular Hours:
Summer Hours:
Number of Children:
What's your favorite thing about summer?
What's your least favorite thing about summer?
How might an employer make summer better for their nanny?
State:
sample provided by SM in NJ
Regular Pay: $850 wk
Summer Pay: $425 wk
Regular Hours: 55 per week
Summer Hours: I work Saturday and Sunday at my job just to get 1/2 my pay because the kids go to daycamp.
Number of Children: 2
What's your favorite thing about summer? Not working my regular hours.
What's your least favorite thing about summer? Not working my regular hours
How might an employer make summer better for their nanny? Long term nannies shouldn't have their pay cut because children are enrolled in activities.
State: NJ

Ask or Don't Ask?

I have a situation I haven't mentioned, even to my husband. I am trying to "let it go" but it bothers me.
We took the children to Disney to celebrate the end of the school year. Our nanny is a live-in and we paid her her normal pay because she did not go with us, plus $200 to take care of the dogs. I believe she was fine with that.

Melissa Peck

Over the past weeks, she made some different comments about how her Mom really liked a certain painter. And her Mom wanted an Island just like ours in the kitchen. It just clicked to me, that her mom had been in the house to see these things. She didn't tell me or ask me that her mom would be coming.
The paintings that she refers to hang only in the master bedroom and upstairs study. Those are not areas people would come in to contact with. I have a feeling that she let her family TOUR my house. I recently learned that her Mother, father, aunt and two cousins all came for the same time we were in Disney.
Nothing seems out of order or missing. But I can't imagine she would have her family come out JUST during the time we are away and a) let them tour or house or b) possibly stay in our home? The only way I will know is to ask. Do I want to ask? Because it's apparent her Mom atleast toured the house and even that alone violates my privacy and I don't like it. We are very private people!
I'm wondering if other employers feel this same way. I cannot shake why it bother's me so much, but it does!

Have a situation? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

The Lesson

Zinaida Serebriakova

Hi. I work for a really great employer who seems to get most things, except one. They have a piano in their house. Since starting here, I dabbled on the keys. Then I showed their daughters some keys. This evolved in to me providing very detailed professional lessons to the oldest child, on a regular basis, during my day.

I teach piano on weekends and make $45 per hour. My employers have not offered me anything extra. I spend atleast 90 minutes teaching piano to the oldest per week on a serious level.That is a conservative estimate.

Are they playing me the fool on this one?

Email isynblog@gmail.com with your experience or question.

Mary Jane

Pretty Odd Art

After two years, our live out nanny left for a "real job". We moved to the suburbs of CT and hired a new nanny, a live in. She didn't work out. We terminated her and fired another. She was worse.

My wife wants nothing but the old nanny back. I have been negotiating with the old nanny to get her to return to work with us. We want her to live in atleast 5x week because we can't have her commuting from Brooklyn, it's not reliable.

We have negotiated salary and hours. There is just one thing. Nanny tells me that on her off time, after work, she enjoys to relax with marijuana. She tells me she doesn't drink. She says she wants to tell me and be honest. She's been out and visited the new place so she knows the set up. She assures me that after work only, she will casually take a walk to the back of the wooded property and have a smoke. She assures me I will never smell it and the children will never know.

My wife who wants her back so badly, she would have likely doubled her pay, is perfectly okay with this. I think it leaves the door open for drug possession charges. Where would she keep it? Is there anyway to lay ground rules for such a thing? How through do I need to be? I was thinking of getting a lock box for her to keep in the shed at the back of the property. Do I need some sort of assurance that she won't drive under the influence? Has anyone ever worked a situation like this? I wouldn't even consider it, except that we have known her for three years and never would have guessed she was a smoker. I don't want to judge her for being honest with me and want to come to a workable and safe solution.

Thursday

Bad Energy

Troy Brooks

Every Wednesday, my boss works from home. It's usually the worst day of the week for me, because she interferes with everything. I will have plans to have sandwiches for lunch outside and then she will pop up and say, "I think I'll take (daughter) to the deli with me". It's only one day so I can work with it. She generally seems to appreciate me, and never complains about anything or corrects anything I do.

I did meet this nanny with a boy the same age, within days of (charge). She happened to be over two Wednesdays in a row and the Mom said something the first time, like "Ew, who does she work for". I ignored it, because she makes comments like that and it makes me feel like a head above most nannies.

This time after she left, my boss called me in to talk to her. She told me that this nanny has a very bad energy and she would prefer if I didn't bring my charge around her. I'm the nanny. I happened to actually like that nanny but whatevs. How do I tell her? We have plans to meet at the bookstore Monday and go to the park after? Just honest? Or will that cause more problems? Just blow her off?

PS My boss also ordered a chair from an estate buying place online. It was very unique, green with a plush print. She had her decorator come and take it away because of the bad energy.

Send your situations to isynblog@gmail.com.

Tibbets Brook Park in Yonkers. NY

Location: Tibbets Brook Park in Yonkers. NY

Date: 6/17 @ 1:20-2:00

Description of Nanny: I saw Your Nanny. The Nanny was white, medium height and weight, was wearing silver ballerina flats, blue knee length shorts, young enough to still have comlexion issues. Carrying a blue and silver bag with a large nautical rope on it.

Description of Child: Two children, very close in age or possibly twins. White, olive complexions, about 4 years old. The boy has straight brown hair on the long side and was wearing frayed denim jeans and pink crocs. The girl had brownish hair with orange in it the same straight texture as the boys and it was cut in a blunt bob, probably recently. The girl was wearing a pink dress with a white apron and white dress shoes with lace socks.

Incident: I was sitting near them reading. The nanny had called them over to take a break and have lunch. The girl was hungry and sat down and started to unpack and eat what is in front of her. The boy refused to sit down at all, and started to run from her. She let him get closer and then pulled him down by his ankle. It was unnecessarily rough. The boy then sat with his shirt over his head and said he hated her. She told him he couldn't play until he ate half of his sandwich. She said this a few times. Finally, he came out of his shirt and said "fine". She handed him a sandwich in a bag and he started complaining that it was squishy. He went from complaining to full on melt down in 3 seconds. The way she handled it was to reach over with her fist and smash the sandwich REALLY hard. This scared him into silence and he again withdrew into his shirt. The little girl petted his head through the shirt and told him it was okay. Then the little girl got up to go play. The nanny gave her 20 more minutes. The kid sat with his end under his shirt the whole time. Maybe this kid has issues, I don't care, there's a better way to handle things. I couldn't take a picture because I was too close.

Send your nanny sightings to isynblog@gmail.com.

...so only awful, short term and lousy employers get parting gifts?

Bernadette Cuxart

I am resigning from my job and giving them all summer to find a new replacement because we have been together for 9 years. I am resigning to move to Florida with my fiance. I had assumed that they would be giving me a severance type thank you package. They fired the housekeeper two weeks ago after only a month and she got two weeks. I can't ask them what they are giving me but I am looking at renting vs. buying in Florida and it is a really good buyer's market. I wouldnt offend my bosses by expecting something or asking but I have been with them since day 1 with both children. I started when the oldest was 2 weeks old. I called an agency that said that after a long term satisfactory arrangement like this, it is customary to give one week pay for every year. I talked to another agency that says I am not getting anything because I am quitting. Question, so only awful, short term and lousy employers get parting gifts? Is that the general consensus?

Wednesday

Vanderbilt Street Playground in Brooklyn, NY

Location: Vanderbilt Street Playground in Brooklyn, NY
Date: 6/16 Tues. around 2 PM
Nanny: I saw Your Nanny, an African Americam medium complexion, natural hair, tall, wearing teal capris and a white t-shirt that said Cape Cod.
Child: African American (definitely her charge,not child). 3.5? Medium height and weight, wearing khaki shorts and a red checkered shirt with red and yellow PUMA tennis shoes.
Incident: I don't know if I would call this a full on bad nanny sighting but I wouldn't want her caring for my child. She had no patience. She had no interest in the child. She spent time on her cellphone making plans to go "raging tonight". The language she used was not appropriate for a child and the euphemisms she used were so transparent. I wouldn't have said anything but when her child took my son's soaker pen and shot her on the back of her legs, she said, "You little shit" and grabbed the thing away from him so hard, he started crying. See, I know some people can say, "you little shit" and be joking. She wasn't. Then she throws the squirting pen across the playground. I was looking at her like "what the?" but she was completely oblivious to everything except, gasp,.. the trickle of water on her capris.

Send your nanny sightings to isynblog@gmail.com.

Nanny Notes 2015, #5

Because, you know, I couldn't be trusted to rely on my judgement.
(I am required to use a kitchen timer for everything...AND document!)

Have something we have to see to believe? Send it our way. isynblog@gmail.com.

Rant - What's Wrong with These People?

The last job I left after being fired for voicing dissent over some of the things my female boss said. I complained to her about how she spoke to me. This is why I was fired. I took issue with her telling me not to sit at the table with the kids, that I should stand and she would also refer to me..always laughing as a "fucking cunt". If I wasn't as happy as she thought I would be, she would say, "what's up your snatch today, " or..."you need to get fucked." She wouldn't say it openly in front of the children but she would say it when they weren't around or if they were, dramatically mouth something. One time she was picking up her daughter at school instead of me and as she left the house, she said to the dishwasher guy, "she wants you to have dirty sex with you on the kitchen table". Like she thought it was funny.

I had an interview last night with a woman who asked me, "Are you straight, gay, bi?" I responded, "I don't think that has any bearing on how I do my job". She responded, "Well as long as you're not one of those that has to be fucked through a sheet". And she and her personal assistant laughed like hyenas.

Claire Mohjer

I had an interview last Tuesday with a Mom who took pride in not getting her sh*t together. She told me before the meeting that it would just be us and we would meet away from the children. I understood that. Then she starts talking about dance and gymnastics and doesn't know when it is, so she SCREAMS for her daughter. Like 8 times. Then the daughter comes down and the mom asked her questions about her schedule. The girl was like 9 and recited the dates and times. The mom then waves her away. Way to invalidate your child and make her feel unimportant in front of a person.

Where are the normal people? Why is it only sociopaths pay on the books? I had an interview with a father and mother. We met in their actual study. It was very harsh and severe. They were on one side, two chairs cramped behind one desk and I was on the other side with two big chairs. The father had his computer up and was taking notes. Then he said, "I know you weren't expecting this, but what we like to do is have the nanny bring up her twitter, facebook and instagram and review it with her. It can be a deal breaker or deal maker". I said, "you want me to sign in to my account right now" and he said, "I'm afraid so, otherwise, we may only see a censored version.". I was under so much pressure, I agreed, against my better judgment. But they didn't just look for smut or drug use, they looked through my pictures and asked, "and who is this" and "when were you in Florida?"I wanted to end the interview but sat through because I have these two powerful people looking at me from one side of the desk.

I'll say it. I'm ready to accept $14. an hour off the books, so long as I don't have to deal with the BS of the UES Parents!

Need to rant? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

Tuesday

The View From My Office

We've all heard about terrible and negligent nannies. Most nannies are wonderful, and surprise LOVE their jobs. This feature suggestion came by way of Marlo, a nanny in Central New Jersey who suggested nannies share pictures of "The view from their office". If you'd like to share, email isynblog@gmail.com or hashtag #isyn on Twitter or Instagram.