At All Costs, Avoid "Birdie"

Dear ISYN,
This is a warning about a nanny named Vivienne C who goes by the nickname "Birdie". She is a Jamaican with a Green card who lives in Brooklyn and works in Brooklyn and the city. I hired her as a temp to work 24 hours a day between the end of the baby nurse and the arrival of my au pair from England.

She only worked for us for two different shifts. One 4 days on and one 6 days on. She was paid $150 per day. At the end of the first week she mentioned to me that I shouldn't feel pressured to switch my baby to formula. She suggested she knew many people who could provide breast milk. I told her that I was comfortable with the choice to move to formula in prep for my return to work.

When she returned for her final six day shift, the baby seemed to be spitting out a lot of the formula during the bottles I offered. I was home at this time, had returned to work but had not left the home yet. I was setting up my office, in and out, etc. Well, on her 6th day in the morning, I paid her, although she wasn't going to leave until 4. I paid her $900 which was exactly what was due. I went out and returned. When I came back I noticed an attitude with her. I offered to take the baby for her 2 PM feeding. I tried to feed the baby and the baby was doing everything possible to avoid swallowing, playing with nipple, spitting out, holding air in her cheecks, etc.

I asked Birdie, "Have you had the same problem with -Baby Girl- not wanting to swallow". She looked at me with what I thought was disgust and said, "No, I never have a single problem with that baby". "Okay, I said. She didn't walk away and stood there. Then she said, "You know I have to say, it is customary to tip between 10 and 20% at the end of a job like this." I was caught off guard. I said, "Birdie, we've only used you for two weeks." She said, "Yes, AROUND THE CLOCK."

I said, "I'm sorry I didn't budget for that".

She then looks around the family room and says mockingly, "Didn't budget for that, okay".

I said, "You know, I'm sorry if you are upset. You've been paid, you are free to leave now, should you like"

She said, "Oh that would be MOST FINE"

She grabs her bag which is already packed and drags it down the steps, roughly so it hits every step. I try to look the other way as I am still trying to give a bottle. She stops and looks at me and says, "Oh you the mom and you don't know that baby don't like that formula. Good luck".

This made me angry. I said, "What are you saying?" Thinking she was saying I was a bad mom. She stood there NODDING dramatically. I screamed "JUST GET OUT OF MY HOUSE". I was holding the baby and she looked at me now shaking her head and said, "oh you don't know alright".

I stood up, put the baby down in the carrier and said, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE"

She said, "relax old lady, your fine, it's not your baby who like my breast milk" and then she cackled and dragged her bag so slowly to the door. Then she called over her head to my daughter, "Goodbye baby, enjoy your life with servants and slaves."

Again, BIRDIE is her nickname. I found her on Craigslist. I live in Park Slope. I could not slam the door fast enough. I changed the locks, changed my credit card numbers. I did not feel good about that. And if that was a dig at my husband, she's crazy, he had no contact with her (NOR WOULD HE)

Vanderbilt Street Playground in Brooklyn, NY

Location: Vanderbilt Street Playground in Brooklyn, NY
Date: 6/16 Tues. around 2 PM
Nanny: I saw Your Nanny, an African Americam medium complexion, natural hair, tall, wearing teal capris and a white t-shirt that said Cape Cod.
Child: African American (definitely her charge,not child). 3.5? Medium height and weight, wearing khaki shorts and a red checkered shirt with red and yellow PUMA tennis shoes.
Incident: I don't know if I would call this a full on bad nanny sighting but I wouldn't want her caring for my child. She had no patience. She had no interest in the child. She spent time on her cellphone making plans to go "raging tonight". The language she used was not appropriate for a child and the euphemisms she used were so transparent. I wouldn't have said anything but when her child took my son's soaker pen and shot her on the back of her legs, she said, "You little shit" and grabbed the thing away from him so hard, he started crying. See, I know some people can say, "you little shit" and be joking. She wasn't. Then she throws the squirting pen across the playground. I was looking at her like "what the?" but she was completely oblivious to everything except, gasp,.. the trickle of water on her capris.

Send your nanny sightings to isynblog@gmail.com.

Wait, what is this about?

     Your nanny is raising your child and turning him into a public urinator. A reckless public urinator. During the time I was at the park, 65 minutes, he relieved himself three times. Three times that I saw and mind you I was doing other things besides watching your helian throw a pee party in the middle of the park. Three times. Who has to pee three times? Nevermind, he whipped out his willy at warp speed and without any regard to who was around him. There are perverts who stroll by the playground all day long just hoping to get a glance of a diaper change in progress or a mother's nipple. This is New York.. This is not your toilet. Please teach your nanny to supervise her charge. If he must out of emergency pee in public, please shield his willy from public. Also, please pick an appropriate target for his pee stream. He was trying to urinate on my child's stroller wheel. I put a stop to that. I gave him the look of death and he stopped midstream and ran towards the water well, willy still in hand.

     If you aren't familiar with Zucker playground, the trees are there to PLAY on, not to pee on. This did not stop Dirty Harry from firing right on to the stump that was later climbed upon by Korean twins, fortunately, well padded in denim. I just don't know what to say. I sit there and read my book and check my phone, but I am still able to toilet my child, to prepare a beverage. to pop open some sesame butter and spread it on a pretzel, but what of you and your hire? This same nanny gave her child a peanut butter sandwich on mangled bread....that he ran through the playground with. Smearing peanut butter on his face, elbow and playground apparatus. Why do you think I bring sesame butter to the playground? Because I am sensitive to children with nut allergies.

    Not to nitpick, but how I wish upon wish that I had a picture of this bent and broken shell of a squished sandwich so I could side by side compare it to nanny's tripple decker delight on some fancy roll, wrapped in tin foil. I don't know what was on it, but I positioned myself at the ready to perform the heimlich because she had no manners at all. The bites she took were enormous, huge, scary. But, at least she wasn't moving around, which is pretty impressive because this playground is one that encourages a nanny or parent to move around with her kid. Nope, she was sitting on her orange blanket. She had orange died hair, very pale, wearing a peach short skirt and purple cardigan with military style boots and knee socks.

      I think you should also know that teenagers flock to this area at certain times and I wouldn't suggest you have a kid flashing his willy around likely deviant teenagers. It's not just NY, it's Brooklyn, and hardly the best area.

     So to recap, if you aren't going to raise your own child but choose instead to outsource the childraising to some neo nazi punk:
1) No peanut butter or products on equipment where a child could get seriously ill
2) Willy should be secured at all times.  Unholster in public restroom only, or in densely, naturally wooded areas while providing security and protection.
3) Children should be supervised. Unless you like a kid needing up or over and relying on some would be pervert offering him a lift or a hoist.

-Unedited

16 Handles Ave J in Midwood Brooklyn

When: 4:30 pm on 3/11/15
Who: AA Nanny (see photo)
Child: Boy of about age 2, wearing a striped shirt.
Location: 16 Handles Ave J in Midwood Brooklyn.
Incident: Was with a boy about aged 2 at . Little boy was  running around. Nanny is in between the glass doors standing up shown here. Nanny was on her phone and threatening to punish the boy while she pushed the stroller, he ran around the store and continued to get caught in between the doors while she is still on her phone. When they walked outside he ran up onto a snow bank near the stree
t on Ave J and almost ran into the road. She is still on her phone talking and pushing the carriage while the boy runs out of her sight. About 2 minutes later she loads him onto the back of the stroller and he is standing on the back of the stroller instead of sitting in the stroller while she is still on her phone pushing him on the stroller with 1 hand. If you Enlarge the photo you can see the nanny's clothing. I hope that someone in this close knit orthodox neighborhood can identify the nanny and the boy.

Do you have a sighting you would like to share? Email isynblog@gmail.com. 

First time Live Out in Park Slope, NY negotiating DOE salary

I just interviewed for a position which I have basically been offered, but for the financial part. The salary was DOE and the family is not a stranger to paying for quality childcare. This will be my first position in the area, and my first live out job and the first nanny job I have had in five years. I have 5 years experience and a bachelor's in sociology. I speak English, Spanish and French and play the piano. Here are the hours and responsibilities.
M-TH, 630-830 AM. Get two children ready for school and take them to school. Clean up from all morning play and meals. Pack kids lunches. Start laundry with morning towels and pajamas in it. Load dishwasher and run.
M-TH 230-830 PM. Pick up each child from their school. Bring them home and provide snack, homework direction. Take each child to respective activities and/or arrange playdates as available. Go to library, museums, parks, etc. This is a NO TV family. Make *dinner for the children and eat dinner with the children at 7PM. Clean up after dinner, empty dishwasher from morning. Load dirty dishes. Direct the children to shower, get in pajamas, etc.  Or go to park after dinner in spring/summer fall. If the children don't shower while I am there, I just leave out towels and clean pjs on their beds.
Friday:630-630. The same schedule, except one child gets out of school for a half day. They also asked if I would run 'geographically appropriate errands not less than one hour" on this day while the kids were in school. The only thing different with this day is that some Fridays I would have to pack the children for weekends away, but I think I have plenty of time to do what they asked and have some downtime before I pick up the child from school early.
*Meals are fresh fruits, vegetable with pre assembled Whole Food, Trader Joe's type meals.
They are paying an hourly rate on the books, coming to 40 hours. There would be some later nights, with advanced notice and overtime. I have never charged "overtime" before, so I am also curious about that. I think I am a shoo in for the job but I want to come back to them with a salary that is fair to both of us and reflects the immediate market.

We wanted to check in on the market rates with a survey. If you are an employer or nanny, please complete the following and send to isynblog@gmail.com.

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