Mary Jane

Pretty Odd Art
 After two years, our live out nanny left for a "real job". We moved to the suburbs of CT and hired a new nanny, a live in. She didn't work out. We terminated her and fired another. She was worse.
   My wife wants nothing but the old nanny back. I have been negotiating with the old nanny to get her to return to work with us. We want her to live in atleast 5x week because we can't have her commuting from Brooklyn, it's not reliable.
   We have negotiated salary and hours. There is just one thing. Nanny tells me that on her off time, after work, she enjoys to relax with marijuana. She tells me she doesn't drink.  She says she wants to tell me and be honest. She's been out and visited the new place so she knows the set up. She assures me that after work only, she will casually take a walk to the back of the wooded property and have a smoke. She assures me I will never smell it and the children will never know.
    My wife who wants her back so badly, she would have likely doubled her pay, is perfectly okay with this. I think it leaves the door open for drug possession charges. Where would she keep it? Is there anyway to lay ground rules for such a thing? How through do I need to be? I was thinking of getting a lock box for her to keep in the shed at the back of the property. Do I need some sort of assurance that she won't drive under the influence? Has anyone ever worked a situation like this? I wouldn't even consider it, except that we have known her for three years and never would have guessed she was a smoker. I don't want to judge her for being honest with me and want to come to a workable and safe solution.


melissa said...

You're going to have illegal drugs on your property. That's weird that you'd even consider that. If she was a live-out I wouldn't think twice about it. What she does in her off time Is up to her, but not at your house. That's just my thought. What if a neighbor sees her or smells something and calls the cops? What an odd thing to say, that no one would ever be able to smell it. That smell is pretty distinct and it travels. Just my thoughts. There are other good nannies out there.
Just as a side note, she left for a "real job?" Nannying is a real job. If she didn't take it that seriously, I wouldn't hire her back anyway.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for being open minded! It's pot, not heroin. It's safer than alcohol and will be legal soon. Personally I would prefer her to smoke inside the house - I assume she has her own private bathroom with a fan? Marijuana smoke is not pervasive like cigarette smoke, so it will dissipate quickly with a fan and a little bathroom spray. A lock box is a good idea. The police are never going to come. You will not be arrested for a small, personal amount of weed. Nobody will know. You would be surprised at how many people around you are doing it. Lay down the same rules as you would for alcohol and enjoy your nanny.

- six figure professional who occasionally smokes

Anonymous said...

It's not illegal where I live, but I don't if she's serious about the smell. It's pretty noticeable and grosses me out! Also, on the off chance that some emergency happens with you and your wife in the evening, would she be sober enough to do anything?

Anonymous said...

Nope. It lingers, for a time, ts distinctive. I'm a nonsmoker of any kind and as such, our sense of smell is grand. I ALWAYS know who is a smoker of cigs and/or pot


Anonymous said...

If I were your nanny, I would get a vaporizer, It's much cleaner and the smell is minimal. As for setting up the rules, do what makes you feel comfortable. I would make a contract setting up those fireable offenses (under the influence while on duty, around the kids, driving etc...). If you have known her for three years and you wouldn't have known, then she is obviously being responsible with it and would continue to do so.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Outside is dangerous. Get an IQAir Swiss Air Scrubber for her room. The one for gases. It cleans the air in a 200 sq ft room twice in one minute. There will be no smells. I have be using one in a high rise with chases for six years. No smell escapes.

They cost $1100 and the 9 replacement filters are $450 a pop. It's hospital grade.

this_nick said...

I'm conflicted on this one. On the one hand it's a risk you're assuming, but on the other it's your choice to assume it. Good nannies don't grow on trees and the fact she was honest with you here is good. On the other hand you had a right to know she smoked weed and that she never mentioned it before in the past three years is a bit off-putting.

In her mind it wasn't relevant because she wasn't doing it during work (as far as we know), but I see it as relevant because you should know she's willing to break a law she doesn't agree with. I'm not saying that's bad, just that as the parent it's something you should have already been informed of. It just makes me wonder what else if anything might she have never brought up because to her it doesn't affect you (though in actuality it might.)

Anyway I think it's cool you're open-minded about this, and good luck figuring it all out.