Nanny v. Housekeeper, #3

                    Bj√∂rn Griesbach

I have a situation going on and getting worse and want to know if you think this is fair.

I am a size 4/6 and my boss is a size 4. I have worked as her nanny for three years. When she clears her closet out at the end of the season or does a big shopping, she always gives me her old clothes, which I really appreciate because they are nice and a quality I would not normally afford. I considered this a serious perk of my job and always expressed appreciation.

In February, a new housekeeper started. She seemed much better than the other housekeepers as in she was a real go getter. I came in one Monday and noticed the housekeeper carrying out garbage bags of clothing. I knew immediately what it was. My boss didn't say anything at all. Later that day I brought it up, I said, "did you do your closets already?" She replied, "Veronica offered to help so how could I say no". I just looked away. Veronica is easily a size 12/14. I doubled back in the room and I asked as if I didn't know.."Is there anything you want to get ride of?" And she looked at me guilty and said, "Verronica asked. She said she has cousins my size and they are looking for jobs and such and I'm sure your closets are full".

From this moment on, things turned between the housekeeper and I. She was always trying to get things. For example, if I took the kids out for ice cream, she would have no problem saying, "Oh no fair...can you bring me back some chocolate marshmallow?" I took the high road. I said, "Oh, I would, but we are going to the park after". She looks at me with serious eyes and says, "Oh go to the park first, please". I just laughed and said, "Sorry..that's not the plan...we're meeting friends". The housekeeper works from 730-1230 4 days a week. Her job is nothing like mine. Would you believe that my boss drove to the ice cream store and got her two QUARTS of ice cream because she felt bad?

 She has been here five months. Her and I don't usually talk because I don't like or trust her and she just studies me. She told me point blank that she's tired of working three different jobs and that her ideal job would combine working for school aged kids and doing housekeeping while they were in school so she could just work for one employer.  My youngest charge starts 1/2 day kindergarten in the Fall. I was looking forward to having some free time. I really feel she is out to get me.I know she wants me job.

Well I thought I had dealt with the worst of it. I came in today, Monday at 10, because I start at 10 on Mondays. She is loading toys into her minivan. She looks at me and smiles and says, "You're going to thank me when you see the playroom". I look at what she is carrying out and one of the things is a race track set that the middle child still plays with and loves. We keep it in a bin because it is big, and expansive. I freaked out. I said, "Why are you taking that?" She tells me our boss told her to help thin it out that the kids had too much and would be outside all summer anyway. I said, "Well, there are rainy days and I bought that for him for his last birthday, seven months ago. He still plays with it". She looks at me and shakes her head and says, "I don't think so". I said, "How would you know, you only work 4 half days. He's not even home when you're here. She tells me, "Wow, calm down" I told her I was calm but I didn't think she should be taking all of that stuff.  She hands it to me so harshly I feel like Im going to have a bruise on my stomach and says, "well jeez April, if it means that much to you.." Again, acting like I am the one who is nuts.

My boss has been out running errands all day. I need to sit down and talk to her. But I don't know what to say because I really feel like this housekeeper has been trying to sabotage me. She even texts my boss throughout the day. I've been here three years! Three years. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? I want to come through it gracefully and I know this idiot is trying to make me look foolish!

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Another pov said...

I think you're going to focu so much on this nanny that you will cost yourself this job! So what if she wants your job! If you do it well and don't cause/participate in drama, she won't get it. The free clothes and ice cream "incident " seem so petty to me. Do your job well and don't worry about anyone else

Oops said...

Housekeeper I meant

Anonymous said...

I went through this same situation. Except the person as went as far to say to my face "yeah I'm going to take your job", I expressed my concern to my boss mom and she reassured me that she was just there to help me and I needed to learn to let her help ect. She lasted 2 months, her fake "awesome" act quickly ran out. I came in the next day, and they had apologized to me, for not fully listening to my concerns. She was fired right on the spot over a situation to this day I'm not even sure fully what happened. I see her from time to time in the area. She found a new nanny family to trick :/ I wouldn't stress so much-don't let her get to you, do your thing. You have the seniority. I have been at my gig for over 4 years. She had "more experience than me and was older" but was fake. Address your concerns with your boss, but don't take things personally.

this_nick said...

You need to talk with your boss. If you've been with the family for three years she should listen to your concerns and make adjustments. You should get first crack at the things you were offered before, as it was an implicit perk of the job that is being taken away through no fault of yours.

Specifically mention the incident in which you explained the importance of the child's toy the maid tried to remove, and her aggressive manner in finally returning it. This kind of behavior needs to be addressed or it will continue to get worse. Mom needs to back you up here as the trusted care provider for her kids.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I don't even know what to say. It says something really sad about our society when people at the lowest income levels have to fight over scraps from the wealthy or work three jobs.

I've lived abroad in more socialist countries and it just seems a more civil society.

Never been in this situation so don't know what to do. But sad that she was throwing out a toy the child loved and was a birthday gift from you.

Just try and stick it out and do a good job if you want to stay. If it's not worth it, find a new family.

Anonymous said...

Get over the clothes