Sunday

Stored Record

OPINION
How can you tell if your employer is recording you? During my interview I requested that I be informed of any such devices. I was ok with not knowing the exact locatation. Anyway I have the feeling I'm being recorded. How do I find out without asking them?

Calling it Quits before Commitment Ends

OPINION
Am I terrible? I’ve been with a family for just 3 months. It took me forever to find a job. I have no major complaints. I’m not being taken advantage of, but I need to make more money. At the time I accepted, it seemed like a good fit. I know there is no way for them to increase my salary. It is also difficult for me to find a part time job with the hours I have for them. I also have no time or money to take classes. I made a commitment to them for a year, but I do not see how this will work. I feel guilty for even thinking of leaving after such a short time, but at the same time I have a life to live. Have any of you ever left after a short time?
cl-wtf-1-1-2
Dear future live in nanny extraordinaire! - We are looking for a terrific nanny to watch our cute and adorable little [boy's name removed] 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. M-F starting July 1st or sooner in exchange for a discounted rent of $1000. We have an extremely predictable schedule and back-up babysitters so nights and weekends would be completely yours! (part time career interests/academic et al!) We have a fully furnished, private bedroom in a garden duplex on [cross-streets removed] available for our soon to be Nanny! More about us: We are a happy couple living in a great duplex, garden apartment on the Upper East Side. We are a successful working couple involved in commercial real estate, and the arts and are out the door at 8 a.m. and home around 5 p.m. Love to cook (lasagna and enchiladas are favorites) and out and about during the weekends. We would only need someone during the weekdays, so your weekends and night would be yours. We enjoy our favorite wine bar, fresh flowers, and a tidy home. More about your new place!: The bedroom is large (18x12) with private garden access and free wireless Internet access, a walk in closet, large living room, kitchen and true two floors. All utilities included. More about your responsibilities: take the bean outside! :0) Play with him in the grass! Make him happy! Also we would need occasional help with (groceries, pick up dry cleaning etc). Look forward to hearing from you! Sincerely, [parent names removed]
______________________________________________________________
Submitted by Anonymous Reader. Thank you!

Where are the Good Nannies Hiding?

OPINION
I work for a great family in Chicago, but am leaving in two months. They're tearing their hair out finding a new nanny and having awful luck with Sitter City & Craigslist. Mom doesn't like Care.com and neither do I really. Where can I help find them a quality, caring and fun nanny???

What Can I do to Stand Out?

OPINION
Hi. I am emailing to have a submission posted. I would to know what I can do to become a good nanny? Credientally speaking, should I join INA and become a registered nanny? Also, is going to a nanny conference good? Is this worth it, as it will make me stand out? OR what will? Also, is joining an angency the best way to find work? I reside in the midwest. Lastly but not least, what can I do to up a second interview, with a family I have coming up? They really like my interview BUT what can I do to stand out or convince them I'm great for the position? it's a charge who is a year old... work out of house parents.   They practice attachment parenting and encourage outings. Thanks.

Visiting Hours

OPINION
Should I charge for this? I just accepted a Nanny job offer to start on July 2nd. The family is moving into a new home on June 22, and I told them I would call that weekend to set up a couple of days the following week to come by and spend time with their kids so they could get to know me and vice versa. What are your opinions on whether or not I should charge for the time I spend on those two "visiting" days, and if so, how much in relation to my normal daily rate?

Saturday

How do I Post a Submission?

Photobucket
This is one of the most asked questions I receive. However, since MEEBO will be shutting down in July I am trying to find another widget... has anyone tried Chatwing? I would love to hear your opinion.

In the meantime, send all of your Sightings and Submissions to any of the links below. Your Post will remain ANONYMOUS, unless otherwise stated:

1) E-MAIL: isawyournanny@aol.com
2) LEAVE A MESSAGE HERE: about ISAWYOURNANNY
3) OR USE MEEBO (located on the right hand side of the ISYN blog, until July)

Thank you!


Thursday

Web Surfing

OPINION
What other websites does everyone check on a regular basis? I check ISYN everyday while the kids nap. They don't necessarily need to be related to child care, although it would be awesome to find another site like this one out there! Just wondering where everyone spends the rest of their time on the web! Also might be a cool way to get to know each other better.

Wednesday

Hint, Hint

OPINION
So I have noticed a strange phenomenon happening more and more in the nanny world. It seems like so many parents, moms especially, are giving their nannies hints and suggestions rather than orders. I have always started a job off letting them know that I am there to uphold their rules, and follow their parenting style, and take care of their house the way they want. So why don't they want to give clear instructions? Seems very illogical to me.

For example, a mom kept moaning about how she could never figure out where her toddlers dishes were, and I kept saying, "they are all right there in the dishwasher," and the next day she would again say she couldn't find them. I thought she was nuts, until finally one day she stammered out, "So um, I usually hand wash his dishes." I instantly said, "Oh, would you like me to hand wash them? No problem." Why couldn't she just say that in the first place? She was somehow hoping I would guess that she was hinting at hand washing...wouldn't it have been easier to just ask me? Parents say, "Do you maybe want to give them a bath before bed? You know, if you want," instead of "Please give the kids a bath." Then I have to wonder if they really don't care if the kids have a bath, or if they are hoping I'll bathe them. Or they say, "feed them whatever you want for lunch," and then when I tell them what the kids ate, they look all uncomfortable. I can tell that they wanted to kids to eat something else, but how am I supposed to know if they won't tell me? Why do parents do this? Are they playing some sort of game? I can't see any reasonable explanation for this. Tell me what you want, I'll do it. It's that simple people!!

Some of them are even more pathetic. Some of them will say something to a 2 yr old in front of me like, "Now you know you aren't supposed to have that toy/treat/whatever!" Yet they never told me whether or not that is allowed. Did they expect the 2 yr old to let me know about that? One mom told me how much her child loves Barney and I saw a bunch of Barney dvds. I let her watch about 20 min before bed. The next time I went over there, mom had hidden every single kid friendly dvd. Seriously...all you have to do is say no TV, believe me, I am perfectly happy to avoid Barney! Is it really easier to hide everything than to just tell me what you want? This makes no sense to me.

I asked a friend of mine about this and she suggested it might have to do with my age. When I started nannying, I was 20, now I'm 37. Sometimes I end up working for people younger than me, and I show the same respect to them as I have always shown to parents I work for. Do parents really feel weird about giving orders to someone older? Come on, I'm a nanny, I'm there to work for them! It didn't really occur to me that this would be a problem, if I am in your house watching your kids, you are the boss. I never try to act superior to anyone, I don't think age should matter at all. Don't a lot of people have bosses younger than them? I would love to hear perspective from both nannies and parents about this. Have other nannies experienced this? Do parents have any insight as to why so many people drop hints instead of giving instructions? If you tell your nanny exactly what you want, she will have a much easier time making you happy. If she won't do what you want, it's good to find that out now and look for a new nanny. That seems pretty clear to me.

10 Things That Will Make You a Great Nanny Employer

GUEST COLUMNSubmitted by Nancy Parker enannysource.com
bestboss1
All nanny employers aren’t created equally. Like with any career there are both good employers and bad ones. As you enter into a nanny relationship, commit to being the best employer you can be. Remember, it is no secret that the best bosses tend to have the best employees. Begin setting yourself apart as a great employer today. You can be a great nanny employer by:

1. Giving your nanny respect. Treating your nanny as a valued employee will go a long way in establishing yourself as a great nanny employer. More than anything, your nanny wants to know that you respect the work she does, the relationship she has with your children and the special insight she brings to the parenting table.


2. Paying your nanny well. Your nanny deserves to be paid more than minimum wage. She deserves to be paid well. When it comes to nanny care, you get what you pay for. Nannies who are paid well tend to be more committed to staying for a long-term position and to going above and beyond to ensure that their job is done well.


3. Showing your appreciation. From small things like saying “Thank you. I appreciate the quality of care you give to my children,” to bigger things like giving a year-end bonus, let your nanny know in tangible ways that you appreciate the work she does.


4. Encouraging your nanny’s relationship with your children. Give your children and your nanny permission to have a loving relationship. Allow and encourage them to bond. If your child says he misses his nanny on the weekend, don’t simply dismiss it. Instead, reaffirm that their relationship is important and missing his nanny is okay.


5. Encouraging regular communication. Set the stage for solid communication. Establish a time to have weekly meetings to review different things that are going on, what’s working, and what isn’t. Ensure that you are home a few minutes before your nanny is due to leave so you can talk about how the day went. Provide ongoing opportunities for regular communication to happen.


6. Covering your nanny’s expenses. It shouldn’t cost your nanny to do her job well. If your nanny keeps a nanny journal, offer to reimburse her for it. If she brings her lunch every day and you can afford to supply it, offer to do so. If your nanny is accompanying you on a family vacation, be sure it doesn’t cost her any money out of her own pocket to do so.


7. Giving your nanny petty cash. Provide your nanny with cash to purchase incidentals like craft supplies, snacks or other items she may need from time to time. Having money on hand for tolls, gas, lunch or other things that come up can help to ensure that the costs incurred when taking care of your child don’t eat into her pay.


8. Offering incentives for continuing education. Offer a membership to the International Nanny Association (INA) or better yet, consider paying for her to attend the INA Annual Conference. Encourage your nanny to take early childhood education classes at the local community college and offer to reimburse her. Providing an opportunity for your nanny to increase her skills and connect with other caregivers will boost her self-confidence, self-esteem and care giving abilities, all of which will benefit you and your child.


9. Scheduling periodic reviews. Whether it’s every six months or once per year, schedule a specific time without the children to sit down with your nanny and have a formal performance review. During this time share all the good things your nanny is doing, as well as any things that could use improvement. You’ll also want to give her an opportunity to provide feedback on how things are going from her perspective. End the meeting by giving her a written evaluation that includes any action steps designed to improve the quality of her work. Consider giving a merit raise (5-7%) or bonus (1-2 weeks’ pay) if your nanny has been performing well.


10. Keeping things professional. While it can be tempting to talk to your nanny about marital problems or to share the latest piece of gossip about the in-laws, don’t. If you ask your nanny to babysit Friday night and she declines because she has plans, resist the urge to ask her exactly what those plans are. To maintain a healthy nanny and employer relationship, there has to be healthy boundaries.

In any type of management situation the general rule of thumb is that things flow from the top down. If you as the nanny employer set the standard for excellence your nanny will follow suit. Great employers breed great employees. And it’s not by mistake.

Mad Dad Writes Rude Review

RANT-1
Back in the middle of May I replied to an add on a sitter site (sittercity.com if any of you are wondering.) The job was for a full time week day nanny for two children 8 months and 7 years. The father was in the military and from the way he wrote his add I should have been seeing the red flags as he made himself seem like one of those god awful controlling military parents such as my own father was/is still to this day.

Well I also had applied for a job as a receptionist around the same time and they called me back after the first message the family that was looking for the nanny sent me. I was told by the company for the receptionist job that I would be able to start within a week or so. Well I emailed the family and told them that I was going to accept another position non-childcare related. The job payed more, had benefits, and as a young adult who is not going to school at the moment, that just sounded like a better fit. Well a month almost passes and the receptionist people ended up being flaky, ( i was told I had the job and that they would set up a second interview and let me know either way if it didn't work out, even after emailing them kinda telling them I was still very interested they said they still wanted to hire me after the interview, well still haven't heard back from them.)

Anyways I emailed the family a few days ago because they were still looking for a nanny. Now I have NEVER EVER had a bad review, I am always on time, I am a damn good caregiver and anyone that knows me or I have worked for will tell you that. I explained what had happened and apologized to the family in my email to them, letting them know that I really was very dependable and would be glad to care for their children still. Now if they had of contacted me quicker in the beginning instead of taking days I would have had a chance to set up an interview with them and probably would have taken the job instead of the one for the receptionist position I was offered, and once I start a job it takes A LOT for me to quit especially if its in the childcare profession. The father emailed me back and was a complete asshole to me basically calling me immature and told me he was going to give me a "bad review" on the site (i'll add it to the end of the post) because I had proven to be very undependable.

Now I understand that the family was looking for someone long term that wouldn't up and quit but if someone messages you back after you obviously still cant find a nanny for your children after a month, someone who is completely qualified and interested in the position you shouldn't be rude to them seeing as they are almost your only chance left. I was not rude in my message and I asked very nicely for them to give me a second chance and explained why I had turned them down in the beginning. So when I got such a rude message back it really just pissed me off. If I had of started or had been on a trial run THEN flaked out I would understand, but seeing as I turned them down in the beginning they shouldn't have been as rude in my opinion.Oh and he didnt even spell my name right in 3/5 message, which made me mad as my name was spelled correctly where he could see it in a message above. Anyways I just needed to rant, have any other nannies had this problem?

Here is the message I sent them: Name of Father Here, (changed for obvious reasons), I first want to apologize for turning you down earlier this summer, What I thought was going to be a steady job ended up never happening because the company was not well organized or run. Since then I have been thinking seriously and have decided that I feel that Childcare is the best career path for me at this moment in my life. If you are still looking for a full time, long term nanny I would be more than happy to speak with you again if you would reconsider me. You asked previously about my schooling. I am not enrolled anymore in UCA, I decided that the university just was not for me and have decided to further my education online in my own time to become certified as a Pharmacist Technician in the future while still being able to work full time as a nanny. Those are my goals for the future and present education wise. My distant future I have been thinking often and hard about due to the fact I will not be returning to UCA and have been pursuing the Nanny profession as full time with eventually the Pharmacy Tech Certification to fall back on. I promise that if you chose me to be the nanny for Child One and Child Two you would not be sorry. I am not a flake though I seemed to have made myself seem like one previously, I really am a very dedicated hard working young woman, I am someone who once I commit to something I do not just quit especially with a job involving caring for someone else's children. I hope that you will email me back either here or on my personal email address. I would be very glad to speak with you more about the position and myself. Thank you SO much for your time, -Maryann.

And THIS is the message and the review I got back: Maryann, I wasnt going to respond but i decided to. I can believe you had the nerve to email me back. You applied for the job, turned me down when i replied to you about the job, tell me you found another job, then come back and ask to fill the position. You have got to be kidding me. Thats the one thing my wife and i were worried about was someone doing that and you just proved to be that person, and then think i would even consider you. I'm also going to write a review on you to warn any other parents who may consider you for child care. I feel obligated to do so as where i am a parent myself and care about my children.

This is the Review: June 11, 2012: ***/***** I would like any parent considering her to read this. My wife and I were looking for child care and posted an add. One of our biggest concerns was what if the person we hire leaves for a different job and then we dont have child care because we depended on the person we hired. Maryann applied for the job add i posted. So i contacted her back because we were interested in hiring her. When i contacted her back she told me she found another job so was no longer interested. Well evidentally her other job didnt work out because she emailed me back asking me to reconsider her for the job. She then told me she was not "Flaky" as it appears, and was dependable. I feel obligated as a parent to share my experience with considering her for a job with any other parents who may be considering her. We did not hire her because in my opinion she already proved she would leave if another job/better opportunity opened up. The only reason i gave her a 3 star rating was because she never sat, off of my experience with her it would be lower.

SO, basically i'm angry he was rude and just want to say... sorry but your loss, i'm one hell of a nanny and I hope you find someone that is just perfect for you.
cl-wtf-1-1-2
Nanny/ babysitter - in my home $550- $600 per month (DURHAM) - nanny/ babysitter Needed, NON- SMOKER, NON-DRINKER, BACKGROUND CHECKS/drug screen MAY BE REQUIRED. Flexible schedule. Mon-Fri & alternate weekends- dayshift & evening shift (be flexible), surveillance camera in home. PAY weekly/bi-weekly. Must have own means of transportation PLS READ this "AD" before responding. Start asap- No sick applicants pls. "may be allowed to bring child to work- conditions apply" No scams-SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY!
_____________________________________________________________
Submitted by Faielyne. Thank you!

Kid Friendly Clothes

OPINION
Where do you nannies get your kid/baby friendly clothes?

Things to Amuse an 11 Month Old

OPINION
Nannies close to Warwick, RI... I need suggestions on out of the house activities for September when my charges will be 11 months old.

Day to Day... they Eat, Sleep and Play

OPINION
Hi all! I'm looking for advice on a daily schedule for a 6 month old including feedings and naps.

Monday

Live-in Position Did Not Work Out

OPINION
Have you ever felt so sad about a job that you felt was your 'dream job' and you did not get the job? Do you know why? Did something better come out of it? I was informed Thursday that someone else was given the dream job I wanted so badly. I had been in touch with this family since March as they contacted me through a nanny site and felt I was a good fit for their family. Meeting the mother about a month later after a few phone calls, we clicked and the position of caring for her wonderful little boy seemed like a great blessing. She wanted a live-in, and never having done this myself (I live at home) I was a bit hesitant, because I do have a dog and she is my responsibility.

After much consideration and speaking with my mother, trying a live-in position, seemed like a great opportunity. My mother would watch my dog, until weekends when I would see her, as they preferred I didn't bring her. She's tiny and cute. I felt like it would be worth it in the long run. Plus my sister and her doggy lived with my mother too and that little doggie and my dog were inseparable! I HAVE lived on my own before, circumstances brought me back home.

The MB, made it clear that I was her top pick BUT due to another candidate wanting to be a live-in from the beginning, she stood out too. Long story short, after visiting the little guy and bonding and keeping in touch until they moved into the area from another state, the current nanny and myself did a trial run with them. The MB called me later that day and told me I was amazing---(this was my 2nd time with the little guy-we bonded instantly) BUT due to my hesitation at being a live-in AT FIRST and the other nanny yearning to move-in from the beginning, they went with her. She said if they need back up, (due to crazy schedules, and limited time off, they probably will). She asked me if I was interested in being a back up. I told her, it was a possibility.

I am so sad I did not get the position. I know my heart was in it and I would NOT have continued with the interview, had I decided a while ago live-in was not something I was interested in. It still feels surreal. The little guy and I bonded so much, I couldn't wait to get started on our outings. I'm still upset and get kind of teary when I think about the outcome. I'm trying to keep positive. **I knew it was not a guarantee, so I did interview in the meantime, got two offers but due to pay, declined** I am trying to keep my chin up and believe the right family is out there. I do have my chin up, or try to when thinking about the fact a few families have contacted me in interest to interview me, so crossing my fingers :)....not lying though, it does still hurt. Please advice.

Fun in the Sun

OPINION
I was wondering if any moms or nannies had ideas for summer activities. My charges are 12, 9, and 9 months (baby just goes with the flow) and they are boys. I've made a list but I don't want to forget anything!

Boston

NANNY CONNECTIONS
Let me say that I LOVE this website and find it comforting to know that other people go through the same things! I was wondering if anyone has ever done a nanny meet up or a nanny night out just to talk to other people who know what it's like to be a nanny, I work in the Boston area (north Andover) and am looking to see if anyone would like to start one? My email is agoding21@gmail.com or just respond on here if you'd be interested! Thanks!

Potty Training Puppy Predicament

OPINION
I have worked with my family for almost two years. When I first started, the family had a dog. My duties DID require feeding the dog, taking him for a walk or two, letting him out, etc. My duties did NOT include any kind of housework or cleaning, just kids and dog, so it was fine. It was SUCH an easy going dog, and GREAT entertainment for the kids!! I did not mind at all. Unfortunately, the dog passed away this past January. Now, 5 months have passed with no dog. I show up Monday morning.. Lo and Behold there is a new 8 week old puppy, AND an 8 week old kitten!

So here is my predicament. It was just assumed that I would take care of these pets, since I took care of the last pet. This dog is not potty trained. And even though the cat is somewhat low maintenance, both animals need to be watched at all times! They get into everything, and the dog pees and poos everywhere!! I’ve been doing this now for only 5 days, and I’m completely fried!! Between watching two kids (age 3 and 6) and the two pets, training the dog and cleaning all potty messes, I don’t have a MOMENTS rest, even when the kids go to bed at night! MB has been extremely understanding and apologetic.

Yesterday, the dog had diarrhea and I was just darn sick of cleaning it!!! So I put a paper towel over the mess, and when DB came home he freaked out about me not cleaning it. (Not a thank you for the messes I cleaned ALL day long, he was just upset for the ONE mess I didn’t clean.) I took this opportunity to say look, no one asked me if it was ok that you added two pets to my daily duty. You assume that I know how to train a dog, and that I even want a puppy around. Basically, DB belittled me and said “its not a big deal, it is the way it is, we pay you to do it, etc.“ Mb sticks up for me, though. And she’s been *trying* to come home in the middle of the day for at least some temporary relief. I’m thinking the only way to ‘fix’ this situation is to get a raise to help compensate all the extra stress. (Although I highly doubt that’s going to fly with DB.)

Obviously the pets aren’t going anywhere, and obviously the parents aren’t going to do their part of caring for their new pets, so it’s once again left up to the nanny. Does anyone have any experience or suggestions here? How much of a raise I should ask for, how I should word it, or other words I can use to explain to my bosses (especially DB) about this situation? I should also add that MB and DB do NOT want the puppy crated. Even when I’ve tried to crate the puppy, it whines and barks and cries nonstop. AND, there is NO outside yard to put the dog! For temporary relief, I just stick him in a room with the door shut, but have tons of messes to clean within minutes it seems. Help?!

10 Reasons You Need a Written Nanny/Employer Work Agreement

GUEST COLUMN Submitted by Nancy Parker enannysource.com
Photobucket
While having a written work agreement may seem like a simple formality between a nanny and employer, the reality is a written work agreement is essential for a successful employment arrangement. In fact, in some jurisdictions, a written work agreement may actually be required. There are many reasons why a written nanny/employer work agreement is essential. These include:

Reason 1. A written work agreement establishes a professional relationship between the nanny and the employer from the start of the relationship. When a written work agreement is executed, the employer, employee relationship is formally created.

Reason 2. A written work agreement spells out the logistics of employment. From the nanny’s role and responsibilities, to who is responsible for withholding payroll taxes, to the nanny’s salary and benefits package, a work agreement outlines each of the parties’ duties, responsibilities and expectations.

Reason 3. A written work agreement gives you something to refer back to when questions arise. How many times has a nanny gone home on a Friday night thinking she has the Monday holiday off, only to get a phone call Monday morning from her employer asking where she is? A written work agreement allows you to say “Let’s look at what we agreed to” when questions about holidays, paid time off, or other topics arise.

Reason 4. A written work agreement foresees possible situations and outlines how they will be handled. What happens if the family decides to move across the country a few months after they have hired their nanny? Who pays the insurance deductable if the nanny is in a car accident while on duty? A written work agreement addresses how things like early termination, insurance coverage and deductibles and relocation will he handled.

Reason 5. A written work agreement may remove you from at-will status. In at-will states, workers can be fired for any reason at anytime, provided the reason is not illegal. A written work agreement that includes a specific start and end date may override a nanny’s at-will status. However, if the written work agreement cites that a nanny may be fired for cause, no cause or for specific reasons, she can still be fired according to the terms in her agreement.

Reason 6. A written work agreement offers proof of employment terms. Perhaps a nanny is forced to quit her job because her employer changed her role or responsibilities drastically. Or maybe the nanny’s employer didn’t pay her portion of state payroll taxes, although the employer agreed to. What if a nanny claims her employer was supposed to be withholding her portion of state payroll taxes, but her employer never agreed to do so? Having written documentation of the employment terms can protect both the nanny and employer when sticky situations arise.

Reason 7. A written work agreement provides clarity to both the employer and employee on crucial issues. Unlike with a verbal agreement that may be subject to the memory of each party, with a written agreement, there is no question as to what both parties agreed to. A written work agreement should spell out things like house rules, daily responsibilities and duties, pay periods, tax responsibilities, pay and benefits packages, sick days, personal days, holidays off, the nanny’s start date, end date, weekly schedule and more.

Reason 8. A written work agreement is legally binding. A written work agreement, or contract, is enforceable in court. So if an employer doesn’t allow her nanny to take the agreed upon vacation time or if the nanny quits without giving the two weeks’ notice that was agreed upon, legal action can be taken.

Reason 9. A written work agreement serves as a starting point for negotiating. Each year, both the nanny and employer should review the written work agreement and evaluate if it needs to be changed or altered. Even if no changes are needed, a new written work agreement should be executed.

Reason 10. A written work agreement articulates household and employment policies. If a nanny wakes up with a stomach bug and can’t get into work, knowing how and when to notify her employer can help ease anxiety for the nanny and allow enough time for the employer to secure back-up care, should it be needed.

While there are many reasons to have a written nanny/employer agreement, there is really no good reason not to. Take the time to do things right and lay everything out on the table. That way there are no surprises and everyone knows what to expect. A healthy working relationship is vital.