Monday

Live-in Position Did Not Work Out

OPINION
Have you ever felt so sad about a job that you felt was your 'dream job' and you did not get the job? Do you know why? Did something better come out of it? I was informed Thursday that someone else was given the dream job I wanted so badly. I had been in touch with this family since March as they contacted me through a nanny site and felt I was a good fit for their family. Meeting the mother about a month later after a few phone calls, we clicked and the position of caring for her wonderful little boy seemed like a great blessing. She wanted a live-in, and never having done this myself (I live at home) I was a bit hesitant, because I do have a dog and she is my responsibility.

After much consideration and speaking with my mother, trying a live-in position, seemed like a great opportunity. My mother would watch my dog, until weekends when I would see her, as they preferred I didn't bring her. She's tiny and cute. I felt like it would be worth it in the long run. Plus my sister and her doggy lived with my mother too and that little doggie and my dog were inseparable! I HAVE lived on my own before, circumstances brought me back home.

The MB, made it clear that I was her top pick BUT due to another candidate wanting to be a live-in from the beginning, she stood out too. Long story short, after visiting the little guy and bonding and keeping in touch until they moved into the area from another state, the current nanny and myself did a trial run with them. The MB called me later that day and told me I was amazing---(this was my 2nd time with the little guy-we bonded instantly) BUT due to my hesitation at being a live-in AT FIRST and the other nanny yearning to move-in from the beginning, they went with her. She said if they need back up, (due to crazy schedules, and limited time off, they probably will). She asked me if I was interested in being a back up. I told her, it was a possibility.

I am so sad I did not get the position. I know my heart was in it and I would NOT have continued with the interview, had I decided a while ago live-in was not something I was interested in. It still feels surreal. The little guy and I bonded so much, I couldn't wait to get started on our outings. I'm still upset and get kind of teary when I think about the outcome. I'm trying to keep positive. **I knew it was not a guarantee, so I did interview in the meantime, got two offers but due to pay, declined** I am trying to keep my chin up and believe the right family is out there. I do have my chin up, or try to when thinking about the fact a few families have contacted me in interest to interview me, so crossing my fingers :)....not lying though, it does still hurt. Please advice.

21 comments:

NannyPants said...

Unfortunately there isn't a lot of advice I can give..but I can sympathize!! Something very similar happened to me 2 summers ago...I didn't get the job I was sure was the one for me and I was heartbroken. A few months later, a wonderful family contacted me through a nanny site...we went through the interview/reference check process, they flew me out to meet them and then again to visit a few months later...and when the baby was born last June, I made the move and that is the family I still work for now. This is absolutely THE best fit I could have ever asked for. There is nothing about this job I haven't loved...I truly thought it was too good to be true at first but it turned out to just be my DREAM job.
So-my point being-YOUR DREAM JOB IS OUT THERE! I promise. Do not give up!!! This one landed in my lap and I know you will find what you are searching for because you seem so deserving.
Good luck!

Bethany said...

I know the feeling very well.
It sucks no other way to put it.
But, as it turns out the position I thought was my dream job that didn't end up getting didn't end up being all that great after all ,

and I ended up finding a fantastic job.

Keep your chin up the perfect job for you is just around the corner.

Hugs.

Wondering..... said...

Did you ask if you could bring your dog? It sounds like you might have when you said "they preferred you didn't bring her." If a potential live-in asked that, it would be a huge turn off to me and make me cross her off the list, along with the hesitation about living in.

LAnanny said...

I agree with everyone else that something better will come along. I'm very fond of the saying, "this or something better" because the world works in crazy ways!

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

@Wondering, I don't think bringing the dog was really an issue.

OP, whenever I interview for a job, even during the "trial run", I try never to get my hopes up until I have the job. Yes, easier said than done, but believe me...it's my defense mechanism to avoid huge disappointment. I have been disappointed quite a few times and until I sign the contract, I tell myself I probably won't get the job.

When one door closes, another one opens. Maybe this is a sign. Perhaps your "dream job" is still out there and by not getting this one, it allows you the freedom of accepting any future offers that will come your way.

It didn't really seem like you were looking for a live-in position initially, so perhaps this job may not have been ideal for you.

I wish you the best of luck in your Nanny search!! Keep your head up, you WILL find your perfect match...it just takes patience.

OP said...

This is the OP. When asked about y dog and if she was coming with. I told her no. I told her since my dog has a buddy at my house and mom and sis live there as well, she would stay there. Also. When asked how I felt about being a live-in, and when she asked if I wanted to be a live in or not. I told her-- at first I prefer live out but am not opposed to being a live in. Of course throughout the interview and months I told her repeatedly I was lookin forwar if given the position to be a live in. I would not have continued if I was not sure about this. Thank you for your support !

Princessbluekies said...

I am still going thru the same thing so I know what you mean. I still haven't found my dream family yet and times are getting rough waiting for them. Just keep your head up ...rejection is apart of the interview process. You sound like a wonderful person, so you will find an amazing family who fits your terms. You had to bend a lot for them, so may be they weren't right for you at all.

The Noble Nanny said...

I was just thinking about something similar to this the other day. On two separate occasions, I was a top pick for a family only to at the last minute have them go with someone else. I was really upset both times and had my heart set on taking both of those jobs. But looking back, I am SO grateful that those positions fell through because both times I ended up with jobs that I love and had better compensation. So, I encourage you, let go of the, "what if's" and expect great things for your future!

Tessa said...

I hope you find something fantastic soon! Maybe you will find a wonderful live out job that will be even better. You may want to look at not getting the live in a a blessing in disguise, live in jobs are very very tough. IT is very hard to establish boundaries and not get taken advantage of. Good luck with everything!

Village said...

My Two Cents-Living in and living out are two every different things. If you live out, you can continue with your own life everyday, and actually get off work. If you live in, you are stuck in someone's house, really a room in someone's house, and when you are 'off' you really aren't. You are limited in what you can do, and working time and off time can get very fluid. Since you are already there, and live in, the least you can do is . . . . and it's hard to define nanny creep if you live in. They have a built in baby sitter whether they pay you or not. It goes without saying you will make less as a live in.

With your Mom and sister and two beloved dogs, you may be better suited to live at home with them. In a live out situation, you have a regular job with regular hours, and can go home at the end of the day. That can be very appealing.

IMHO you should listen to yourself. You prefer to live out. It seems like you have good reason to feel that way. This may have been your dream job in you lived out, but if you lived in, it could have been a nightmare you can't even imagine. Things happen for a reason. I'm guessing your dream job is out there and it's a live out situation; you just need to keep working to find it, and don't look back. You sound like a level headed, big hearted nanny who interviews well. Good luck!

Sam said...

There are tons and tons of live-in positions...don't worry ;)

Phoenix said...

Everything always happens for a reason. When I was 18 I interviewed for a pharmtech position that I really really wanted. i had no training at the time but still I wanted the job. i didn't get it. I was heartbroken but moved on. A year later out of the blue the same company called me and offered me a position (not the one I originally applied for) but i was so happy the comnpany called me back. I interviewed and I got the job. Fast forward 7 years later and I still work for the same company. It just wasn't my time when I first wanted it. So this family knows you and likes you. Keep in contact with them and you never know. Something might come up where you have the opportunuity to be with them.

Dont dump the dog said...

I am going to go against the grain, and say that while you might have had your heart set on it, this was NOT your dream job. Being a live-in is much different than living out. The fact that this family wanted live-in only, when they were the ones moving to a city you live in is a red flag that they are looking for someone with 24/7 commitments. Job creep would have been inevitable, among other things. Also, YOUR dog is YOUR responsibility, not your moms. If your dream job involves leaving your four legged baby behind, maybe it isnt really a dream job.
It may sting now, but take this job passing as an opportunity to evaluate what you really want from a nanny job. Your initial instincts were to be a live out, and your dog is obviously an important part of your life. Use these as bases....only interview for live out positions. You sound like you willbe a greatnanny, hang in there and you will find your dream job, where you will get to go home and play with your puppy at the end of the day.
Hope I didnt come across harsh, I speak from experience. I took a live-in job as a nanny, and had to give my dog away because I couldnt take her.......it was the biggest mistake I ever made. Not only was that "dream job" a nightmare, I lost a loved member of my little family, something that still pains me 10 years later.

Susannah said...

I'm sorry you didn't get the job, especially after bonding with the baby.

But, honestly this doesn't like it was a great fit for you.

You had to convince yourself you wanted to live in and that you were ok with leaving your dog.

I know how it is to need to work and to convince yourself you missed out on a dream job. It stinks.

But this one wasn't for you the job that is your perfect fit is still out there.

Chin up don't give up and keep looking.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

Don't dump the dog:

I am so sorry for your loss. How sad.

:(

AJ said...

Dear OP,

I am sorry to hear that you did not get the position, especially after spending time and creating a bond with the family and child. My wife has been desperately looking for a new nanny to help care for our lovely 2 year old daughter, as our existing nanny of over a year (who has become part of the family) will be leaving the country.

If you are still interested in a nanny position in NYC area, I would love to have you get in contact with my wife to see if you are a match for our family.

Let me know, and I apologize if this is not the proper way to respond, but I just came across this great website today and am unfamiliar with the rules.

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

AJ,

I am absolutely fine with your responding to one of our Readers with interest in hiring her!

I wish the both of you the best of luck!

Psyber Chica said...

You sound too eager to please. If only our 30 or 40 year old selves could talk to our 20 year old selves...

I agree with those saying beware of job creep. My advice is to write down exactly what you want in a position. Some things are negotiable, and some are not. Try not to be so emotionally attached and also realize that "dream jobs" do not exist. Nothing is perfect or permanent. I had my dream life taken away in an instant.

OP said...

Hello AJ. Thank you for the offer and post to my submission. I appreciate all of the encouragement !! :) I wish I could but due to geographical location, I can't Good luck in your search. Hope you find the perfect fit soon!

luckoftheirish said...

Youve idealized this position. Much like falling un "love" with a man, you know only in passing. You see, there are so many things that you do not know about this family. Im a firm believer in fate. I feel there is something better on the horizon for you! Keep faith.

OP said...

You're right. Thanks for the realization. I'm looking forward to what door will open and shady blessings are meant for me. :))