Fool me once....

Received Tuesday, June 15, 2010
I need help ASAP!!! Now, I will state upfront that I know that I have allowed myself to be fooled by my employer's false promises of "things will fall together", and that I am generally too nice. So I do not need people telling me I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of, etc. because I know that. What I need help with is how to professionally, yet firmly take charge of the situation, and what to say to them. Having said all of that, here is my situation.

I am a live-in nanny.I have been with this family for 3 months. I watch twin two year olds. The children are awesome, and I love spending time with them. I watch them Monday-Friday, for around 11-12 hours a day. Both parents work outside of the home. Upon accepting this position, I agreed to work approximately 60 hours a week, prepare meals/plan playdates/take children to all appointments, etc., in exchange for: health insurance, use of a car/car insurance, room/board, cable/internet, credit card for work expenses, gym membership, and zoo membership.

Fastforward to now. I have the car/car insurance, and the gym membership. I have been given $40 in 3 months towards gas, and am frequently having to pay for the children's activities/medications, etc., upfront and then wait to be reimbursed. They have arranged the health insurance, but it doesn't start until the end of the month. I asked my mom about the zoo membership last week, and she said they now don't have the money to purchase it. I make a very low salary, and accepted the job due to the whole benefits package. I also have no cable because the father hasn't installed the cable box. The parents are good parents, and treat me decently.

I am horrible at confrontation, and sticking up for myself. I am doing everything (and more) that I agreed to in the contract. I would love to sample conversations! I don't know what to say without coming across as emotional. I am in "that time of the month", and am a bit emotional. But I cannot keep this up. I am burned out, and at my whits end. I want to talk with my employers today or tomorrow. Any helpful advice is appreciated! I do not have a car, and so cannot accept a live-out position at this time, or I would have left a long time ago. And as everyone knows, the economy is horrible, and live-in positions in my area are hard to come by. Thank you in advance!!

Should I quit?

Received Tuesday, June 15, 2010
I have been working for two families since last December both with children the same age. Family #1 I work for Tues/Thurs 8-6, and Family #2 I work for MWF 8-5.

Family #2 I have a much more casual agreement with; if I work, I get paid for it, if I don't work, I don't get paid.. that has been a bit of a problem when I get a call at 6am that day not to come in, but the bigger picture is that I have much less of a commitment.. which to me feels like much more freedom not being completely tied down (I am a college student, so they understand when things come up). The family is incredibly nice to me, and they show their appreciation and constantly thank me for taking such good care of their baby. I truly enjoy working for them.

Family #2, however, has a "verbal" agreement with me. They asked me for a 1 year commitment, 3 weeks paid vacation, and 3 paid sick days. They also asked me if I ever need a day off to ask one week ahead of time. They treat me like the "help" not the person who cares for their baby. They have started "job creep" asking me to do laundry and grocery shop (which were not in the agreement). They also had a big problem with paying me the minimum hourly rate I was asking. I work for an agency also, so I usually use their rates as a reference, then ask for a range a few dollars less than theirs for my personal jobs. Family #2 is paying me 3/hr dollars even LESS than my already reduced rate. The father also works from home, and as most you nannies know, this in itself makes things difficult. Since I have started I have always felt completely taken for granted and under appreciated.

This brings me to my current problem: I asked both families for a day off. I needed both Thursday and Friday off, and I asked both families on the previous Thursday for the day off.. so one week ahead.

Family #1 made a tremendous effort finding coverage for me (as did I). They said it was a bit of a problem, but they made it work, and I made it very clear how much I appreciated it.

Family #2, instead pretty much flat out told me no. I explained to them I needed a day off because after my Father's recent major heart attack, my sister, mom and I wanted to do somehting special for father's day (we wanted to go up to our house in Maine and my mom planned it last minute and we would only be up for 2 days) since it is a miricle he is even still with us. I told them how important it was to me to be there with them, and that I would really appreciate it if they could find coverage for just that one day and I did not expect to be paid. Again, they said no, but they said we could talk about it on Monday.

When I got into work today, both Mom&Dad came out to "talk" to me, but it ended up in a complete gang up. I was not arguing with them about coming into work, and I decided if it was that important to them, I would come to work on Thursday. Even after I said this, the father proceeded to ask questions and in a sense "scold" and yell at me for even asking for a day off and that I was expected to only go on vacation when they did. I tried to even compromise and ask for half the day off and they refused that too. FInally I just said if I had to work, I probably just wouldn't go away.. and the father then interrogated me about why I would choose that. By the time the conversation was over, I was in tears and in complete shock.

My question is: Should I quit? I cannot believe this is the way a family would treat me for just asking for ONE day off. I have been contemplating leaving based solely on the way I am treated in general.. but is this enough to call it quits?

Any opinions would be much appreciated!

Calling all Berkley and Oakland Nannies....

Received Tuesday, June 15, 2010
I have a question and I hope you'd be willing to consider posting it, even though it's of a local nature.

I've worked part time as a nanny for the last few years and want to do it full time as a career. When I started I did a fair amount of research into normal wages for my area (California - Oakland/Berkeley) and found that rates start at $15 an hour. Today I responded to an ad for a part time summer nanny posted by the outgoing nanny. We talked for a few minutes and she said she gets $500 a week, which is $11.11 an hour, and in her experience $11 - $12/hr is normal for this area. She said she's been doing this for 10 years, has lots of nanny friends, and $15 an hour is pretty unusual.

So my question is, is what she's saying right or is my other research right? I'd appreciate it if nannies in my area would chime in.

Discuss

Foes Line Up to Oppose Nanny Bill of Rights
On June 1, the NY State Senate passed a measure guaranteeing nannies and other household employees protections like one day off a week, paid overtime past 40 hours a week, six paid holidays, seven sick days, and five vacation days per year, and a fourteen-day notice of termination. NY's Governor Paterson has vowed to sign it.

What do you think?

Highland Heritage Park in Highlands Ranch, CO

Received Saturday, June 12, 2010

Date and time of incident: Wednesday, June 9, 2010. About 11:00 a.m.

Physical description of caregiver: Nanny was dark-haired and caucasian. Slender and medium to tall height (I would say about 5'8") and young, in early to mid- twenties. She was wearing a white tank top under a denim jacket and dark brown capri pants. Brown sandals. Her hair was long and pulled back in a low ponytail. She had brown sunglasses on. Small black backpack. I think the child called her "Elise" or "Elisa".

Physical description of child: 6-7 year-old little girl. Very long blonde hair and caucasian. Wearing a yellow sundress and white sandals.

Detailed description of what you witnessed: I was at the park with my little brother and witnessed this awesome nanny interacting with her charge. Nanny engaged the child by asking her what she would name the wildflowers in the park if it was up to her. She asked her several times if she was too hot or thirsty (it was very hot that day). They never went to the actual playground but walked around the park area and looked at the open space around it. Nanny held the child's hand and called her "sweetie". Nanny also reminded the charge that in a few minutes it would be time to put more sunscreen on. I noticed when bikers went past them on the path, the nanny gently steered the little girl off the path and said "Remember, when bikers are coming it's best to give them room."

Honestly, the nanny just seemed really involved with the little girl and wasn't just letting her run around. She was very attentive and seemed like a very responsible, loving nanny!

CL-WTF?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) I need a babysitter ASAP (California)
Hi i need help with my 7 month old son Dylan i just moved here 2month's ago i have had a live in nanny but 2weeks ago she had to leave do to illness in her family so i had to take time away from work for this 2 weeks not good for me at all i love spending time with my son but i also like paying my bills lol well long story short i need help i dont have alot to offer im not making much yet but i can help someone in need of a little extra cash i can pay 130-150.00 a week i know thats not a lot for what im asking for cause i need someone to stay in my place which is nice i live a block away from the broadway plaza mall and everything is blocks away nice area theres a pool spa and you can take him out for the day and shop or whatever you can stay in watch movies when he sleeps i need someone from like maybe 10-11am till 7-8pm monday thru friday if i need time with my husband like maybe a date night i will pay extra on Saturday but from maybe 6-7pm till midnight or like 11pm please when i start making more money i will pay more but this is what i have right now if you can help please call me ,oh and i need to add that my husband and i are smokers a lot of people have a problem with this but its mostly out side sometimes inside but not around the baby so if you smoke that dose not bother me at all thanks for reading and if theres anyone out there that can help let me know thanks. Janet. (925)238-****
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/kid/1777690040.html

* Response from CL reader:

2) RE: I need a babysitter ASAP (California)
Wow!!!! You live in a nice place have money for cigarette for you and your husband. And have money to go out for a date night with your husband. But you are willing to pay 2.50 an hour for some one to come to your house and watch your child for nine hours a day. You probably spend more the 2.50 on your cigarette. Is this what your child is worth to you?. Where is the child protective service when we need them. Makes me wonder why your nanny left.
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/kid/1779046361.html
______________________________________________________________
Special thanks to Michelle Nelson for our Feature Ad! Also, thank you to all of the ISYN Readers who kindly stepped forward to make this weeks CL-WTF really awesome: Krupitzerb, Sakeena, megrose123, m.stermer, alc0035, SFC, HungryCollegeStudent, ToTheRescue, TracyLindauer, CSNanny, Ariel-Chan, Nannybee, Lindsay and MissDee... we really appreciate all of your help! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And don't forget to include the Links!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Caribou Coffee on Springbrook Drive in Coon Rapids, Minnesota

Received Friday, June 11, 2010
Nanny, probably 22-25 years old. Black tank top with lace, lots of cleavage. Jeans, hiking shoes, train conductor-style hat. Darker hair (brown with red/maroon tones) in a messy bun.Probably 5'8, thicker/overweight build.

Charge (Michael) is an approximately 8 year old boy. Black button-down shirt, opened with a grey henley/long underwear-like shirt on underneath. Jeans, light brown hair, brown shoes.

They were together at Caribou Coffee on Springbrook Drive in Coon Rapids, Friday 6/11 from 10:30am-on. Nanny ignored him most of the time, reading a magazine, scribbling in a small notebook, texting, etc. Kept telling him firmly to read his book (The Youngest Templar: Keeper of The Grail by Michael P. Spradlin). Your son was bored out of his mind on this dreary morning-he even appeared to fall asleep at one point. He was trying to get her attention, picked up his book several times, took off to the men's room (at the back of the store, near a back exit)without her so much as looking in his direction. When he came back, he said "Hello" to her, trying to engage her. She looked up at him, and then went right back to scribbling in her journal again. She left him on the couch for several minutes alone while she went to the register.They were goofing around together, and he hit his head on the back of the wooden couch. He started to cry, and she just laughed. She rubbed his knee a little bit while he cried, but said "Next time you're sitting on a wooden couch, don't throw your head back" in a very sarcastic manner. She cares about him in some capacity-that's clear,but she does not take necessary precautions to keep him safe, and makes no effort to engage him really. They sat there, her ignoring him for well over 1.5 hours. I overheard her explaining to him that she is"mentally tired, has a lot to do". She told him he was annoying for jiggling his knee. I think her name might be Katie, but I'm not sure.I took pictures of her ignoring him, of her at the register without him, of your son sitting on the couch alone. Please contact me if you'd like to see them for verification.

Nanny's Nightmare Referral for a Fulltime Job Flakes Out

Received Friday, June 11, 2010
I had a current situation happen to me this week and need some perspective on what to do. Okay...I babysat on an occasional basis for this wonderful family, however the mother recently notified me that she will not be using me anymore since her daughter will now be attending private kindergarten. She did state that she may be using me in the future for "date nights" and such. She feels bad for me that I am a single mother myself and struggling to pay my bills so she referred me to a woman friend of hers. Well, me and her friend had arranged for an interview two weeks ago, but she called me (an hour prior btw) to tell me she was sick and needed to reschedule. I understood as people do get sick and agreed to reschedule for this week. Well, I finally interviewed yesterday and the woman said she heard great things about me from the other family that I babysat for and that she really liked me and then hired me on the spot. This would be a full-time job, for two boys and the pay would be good $17/Hr in Bakersfield CA. She even took out her calendar and "penciled me in" for the hours she would need me the following week and asked that I write them down as well which I did. Now mind you, I had another full-time job offer that I hadn't yet agreed to, but after this interview and the fact that she gave me my hours for next week, I assumed I was officially hired by her. So I called the other family and told them I had already gotten a new job and they wished me well. Well, I came home and got online on Craigslist....I was looking to see if anyone was hiring for a weekend babysitter, Fri/Sat/Sun, days she assured me she would NEVER need me. And to my surprise, right there in the childcare section was an ad posted by her. By the time on the ad, it appeared it was posted exactly one hour after I had left! My heart sank and my body went numb!! I couldn't believe it! So I sent her an email and told her that I assumed I was hired since she actually told me the days/hours that she needed me for next week and even asked me to write them down in my agenda! She claimed she had decided after my interview to "look around", but if she didn't find anyone in a week, she would get back to me. She claimed she wanted to call me after I left, but said she was too ill to call. (Funny, how she wasn't too ill to write a Craigslist ad!!) Okay...here are my questions:
1) If you are at an interview, and the parents tell you to come in the following week (or whenever) and give you days/times they want you to show up, isn't that technically "hiring you?" Or am I just an idiot who is missing something here?
2) Since I assumed I was hired, I gave up another position and am now angry...do I have a right to be mad??
3) What do you all think has happened here? If she didn't think we were a good fit (as some families do), I have no problem with this. Couldn't she have said she will be in touch after she makes a decision? Why would she ask me to write my hours for next week? And no, she never stated it was "tentative" or anything.
4) Finally, do you think this will affect my relationship w/the woman that referred us? In other words, she obviously liked me enough to refer me, but will this taint her opinion of me??

Again, I am a single mother who has been seeking a nanny job for months now. As Murphy's Law would have it, I then get two job offers, and since I primarily accepted the first (as it was from a referral), I am now back to square one. I cannot believe this has happened to me. I feel like a bumbling idiot and am trying to piece this thing together to see what I could have done to avoid this. Any advice would be great, but as I am in a depressed state now (looking for work to pay my bills, etc.) please no harsh words. Thanks a bunch. :)

Park in Chula Vista, CA

Received Thursday, June 10, 2010

Location: Park (not sure of the name) in Chula Vista (San Diego), CA

Date and time of incident: Wed, June 9, 2010. Incident occured around 12:35

Physical description of caregiver: Nanny was dark-haired with medium-tone skin. May have been Hispanic or Asian. Nanny was heavy around the middle, short (5'-5'3") and was middle-aged. She was wearing jeans, a button-up short sleeved plaid shirt, and a denim vest. She had on a black cap that showed a little of her short bob haircut.

Physical description of involved child: 3-4 year old boy, dark-skinned with shaggy/curly black hair. He was wearing dark jeans, a red t-shirt and navy blue crocs.

Detailed description of what you witnessed: I was at the park with the little boy that I nanny for. We go to the park everyday around the same time, and I have never seen this little boy and his nanny there before. My charge and I were sitting at a picnic table in the toddler section of the playground. The park was fairly empty with only a few other people there (none of which were children, mostly just young adult guys playing basketball). The other nanny and the little boy approached the picnic table and sat down. The nanny asked if I would keep an eye on her charge while she went to her car to get a snack for the boy. I said sure because the car was not even 50 ft away. Nanny walked to her car, got in the car and and started making a phone call. She must have been on the phone in her car for at least 20 minutes while I continued to watch the other child play in the playground. When nanny finally came back, she had a little lunch box full of snacks for both her and the child. The snacks include carrot sticks, two cookies, Juicy Juice juice boxes, and a small zip-loc baggy full of skittles. They sat down at the same picnic table as me and my charge and began eating their snacks. The little boy was given the carrot sticks and told to eat them before he was given dessert. After the little boy finished his carrot sticks, he asked for some Skittles, but the nanny had said they were for her. Then, he asked if he could have a cookie, and the nanny told him that she had already ate both of them. The nanny told the boy to eat his carrot sticks before dessert, but then she ate what was promised to be his dessert. The 3-4 year old little boy proceeded to throw a fit because he was so upset at what the nanny had done to him. She did nothing to soothe the boy, but told him that if he didn't stop "making a scene", he would have to walk home from the park. I then decided to speak to the nanny and say what she was doing to the little boy was more than uncalled for. I gave the little boy one of the cookies that I had brought for my charge and asked if he wanted to go play on the play structure with my charge and I. After snack time, me and my charge and the other nanny and her charge proceeded to play on the play ground. Not even 10 minutes into play, the nanny got another phone call. She walked away from the play ground, leaving the 3-4 year old boy there by himself. After she left, the boy turned into a little terror. He came up to me and my charge and said that if we didn't leave the park, he would call the cops. He said if the cops didn't come he would go to his house, get a gun, and come back and "take care of the little problem" himself. I told the little boy that the way he was speaking wasn't appropriate. He didn't like that I had corrected him, and decided to start hitting me and my charge. I decided that it would be a good time to remove ourselves from the situation, and we went and sat on a bench next to the playground. I didn't want to leave the park because the nanny was all the way on the other side of the park, which is a little more than half a mile away. I watched as the child played by himself on the slides. When the nanny came back, I took myself and my charge home.

My opinion of what happened: The woman who was in charge of that little boy is a sad excuse for a nanny. She had no respect for her charge and she obviously didn't take her job very seriously. The parents of that child need to fire that nanny, and hire someone who actually pays attention to the child.

Pier 6 Sandbox by the bridge - Brooklyn, NY

Received Wednesday, June 9, 2010
URGENT... at 0905 hundred hours this day, June 9, Wednesday - I witnessed the unthinkable. A female nanny, Puerto Rican, with large moles on her face, thick hair and a wide, blank face was caring for an Anglo child, female, with blond hair and a pinkish/reddish short overalls set over a white and flowered shirt. The nanny was approximately 30-35 years old, 5 foot four-six and about 160-180 pounds. I don't know what happned previously but did see the nanny grab the child's right arm, hold it high and swat the child on the bottom 4-6 times. The child began crying and crying so hard she was gasping for air. I said, "hey, hey" to get the nanny's attention. She turned and looked at me. I started walking towards her. She quickly dunks the child in the stroller, a collapsible umbrella stroller with mint green arms and a loud seat pattern. Then she takes off walking at warp speed. At first I started to follow her to catch up to her to call her out and find out who she worked for. But I figured I would only make things worse on the little child.

This happened right by the Pier 6 Sandbox by the bridge (Brooklyn). The child may have been playing in the sand box before my arrival. But they were standing next to it when they caught my attention!

Working for Spare Change...

Received Tuesday, June 8, 2010
I have been working as a nanny for family with an 11 month old boy. I have been with this family for almost 5 months, and it is all under the table, meaning no contract. This hasn't been a problem. The hours are what we originally agreed upon, the pay is the same every week (money has been very tight for this family so I make about $30 a day), and recently, they have began allowing driving.
In addition to working this job on Tues-Fri, I am also a full time student taking 4 classes this semester. I work about 7-8 hours a day, and attend class about 10 hours a week. Although this may not seem like much to some, it has recently become quite overwhelming. It seems as though I don't have time for me anymore. Between work and school, my social-life has dwindled down to be almost inexistant.
I have been thinking about quitting my job, and focusing on school and family/friends. I work not because I need the money, but because it was nice to make a little spending money for myself. I live at home with my parents, they pay for my gas and most of my expenses. I have noticed that my grades have started to suffer from working. I was wondering how much notice I would need to give my boss, and what reason I should give for quitting. Should I tell them in person, send an e-mail, give a phone call? I am very afraid of giving the notice because I have become quite attached to this family and their son.

70th St. Playground on UWS, NYC

Received Tuesday, June 8, 2010
On Friday the 4th, between 5 and 6:00, I took my daughter over to the 70th St. playground in the Upper West Side of NY City. My daughter was playing and I was chasing her. At one point, I noticed a nanny sitting on the bench with her head propped up on her hand. At first I thought she was just tired and relaxing, but then I noticed that she was asleep, really asleep! I kept watching her to see if she was going to wake up anytime soon and tried to figure out what child was in her care. Finally after about 20 minutes, she woke up, found the child that she was "caring for" and said, "Let's go!" The little girl was between the ages of 7 and 9. She had on her bathing suit, pink crocs, and a Disney towel. She was a thin, blonde haired little girl. The nanny was dressed in all black, a nice dress and had a fake bun on the back of her head. She was very well put together looking and wore black sun glasses. I've seen some really awful things with nannies and I've gotten to where I'm just sick of it and have decided to take my camera with me everywhere. I just can't believe that parents don't know what's really happening with their children when they are in the care of someone else. I just can't believe how many nannies think that playtime at the park means they get to sit on their big rump and chat with their other nanny friends while they don't watch the children AT ALL or they make them sit right by them, either in a stroller or on the bench, not able to play or interact with the other kids. It infuriates me!

Happy Happy Birthday, MPP!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Gaining a Male Childcare Worker's Perspective...

Received Sunday, June 6, 2010

For the past three years I have worked at a church on Sundays as a childcare worker, working in either the 3-5 year old room, or the infant-toddler room. As a male in the infant-toddler room it seems as if I am held to a higher standard by the parents. Most of the parents are fine with me being in there, but there are some parents who are unsure about it. I remember this one time when this girl, who was potty training, needed to go to the bathroom. As I was taking her to the bathroom, which is in the same room as we were in, a parent volunteer started to offer to take her to the bathroom, however as she saw I was going to leave the door open, she stopped in her tracks. Chances are this wouldn’t have happened if I was female. This has also happened when a girl needed a diaper change, but I simply told the person I can do it. Another time a dad was dropping off his toddler daughter. Before he left, he checked her pull-up and decided to change her. None of the parents I have seen there have done that before. I might just be cynical, but it felt like to me he was thinking let me change her now, so he wouldn’t have to worry about a strange male changing his daughter later, which is fine. I have become use to parents thinking I am not capable of working with younger kids because I am male. With some parents, you can tell on their faces when they drop their kids off, they aren’t too sure if they should leave them or not, as there is a male worker in the room. What helps, is there are always two workers in the room.
As a male, I have to be extra careful in everything I do, as some parents think you are either inept when caring for younger kids, or a pervert because you are a male who is working with younger kids. Thankfully, most parents are fine with me being there, and know I do a good job. What I find interesting is parents think just because you have male parts you aren’t good with kids, while those with female parts are naturals with kids. There is one co-worker, who is female, who really isn’t that great with kids, and never bothers to change their diapers, even when they are full. Yet parents assume she is good with kids as they always hand off their crying kid to her, even when we are both standing right there. I guess I am saying all of this to say, you have to look at people as a whole, and not simply their gender. Just because a person has male parts doesn’t mean they are bad with kids, and just because a person has female parts doesn’t mean they are a natural with kids. As the old saying goes, ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’.

CL-WTF?

Saturday, June 5, 2010


.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Kind, welcoming family in search of the Perfect Nanny! (Boston)
My name is Avagail and my husband's name is Adam. Just like our title says, we are a kind, welcoming family looking for a nanny for our wonderful children: 3 year old son (Adam III), and 9-month-old twins (Avagail Jr. and Eli) in our home in Brookline. My husband is the financial advisor to a company in Boston, and I am a doctor of physical therapy looking to return to work part-time for approximately three 6-hour shifts per week. So, I will be home some of the time that overlaps with when the nanny is at our home. We want the best for our children, so our nanny only needs to focus on childcare related tasks -- never any housekeeping! We consider childcare tasks:
- general childcare (Kosher feedings, diaper changes, bathing)
- providing intellectual stimulation, reading books, etc.
- going for walks
- children's laundry
- stripping children's beds and changing sheets
- food shopping for children
- vacuuming and dusting the children's rooms
- tidying any messes that the children make
- organizing children's toys
- transporting children to playdates and activities
- others, as to be discussed

We have a bit of flexibility in the hours that we need childcare for our children, so we have outlined the different options. Again, our priority is to find the best nanny available, so we want you to be able to choose the schedule that works for you. The salary is a generous $325 to $345 per week, commensurate with experience.

OPTION 1 - M and Tu (7:30 am to 8:15 pm); Th and F (7:15 am to 8:00 pm)
OPTION 2 - All 5 weekdays (8:00 am to 9:30 pm)
OPTION 3 - M, W, Th (5:30 am to 7:00 pm); one overnight from Saturday at 8:30 am to Sunday at 7:45 pm

Additional benefits:

- weekly stipend for your Kosher food (up to $20-25/week)
- we will pay for the laundry detergent needed for the children's clothing
- we will provide gas money if you use your vehicle to transport our children more than 50 miles per week (for miles incurred beginning with the 51st mile)
- 3 PAID vacation/sick days per year (after you have been working with us for 6 months). NOTE: We must be given at least 2 weeks notice
- the benefit of working with a loving, open, welcoming family
URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/kid/1768613537.html
_______________________________________________________________
Special thanks to ngajewski03 for our Feature Ad. Also, thank you to Krupitzerb, mbargielski and CSNanny for their Submissions this week... all of you did a great job! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And don't forget to include the Links!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Indecisive Nanny Seeks Reader's Guidance...

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
I'm a college student who's been looking for a job as a summer nanny (I've been working part-time during the school year, and have nannied in the past as well, so I have lots of experience) and I've been fortunate enough to recieve two job offers! Only problem is, now I can't decide between the two. So I was hoping the experts here might have some insight that I may not have considered.

Both jobs have roughly equal pay, for roughly equal hours, and are approximately the same distance from my house.

Job #1: A 6 yr old boy and a 2.5 yr old girl.
Pros- In general, I typically prefer working with children this age. The hours are very flexible, and the Mom has stated that if I wanted to arrange the hours so that I had a very long weekend now and then, that'd be fine. It includes two weeks of (unpaid) vacation, so I could take that time to visit my friends, etc.

Cons- The differing ages and genders will make it a bit more difficult to do activities. The 2.5 year old still needs a carseat (obviously) and it will be more difficult to take her out to do activities outside the house. The Mom works from home, and even though I actually have a lot of experience with this, I find it usually makes things harder than easier.

Job #2: Twin 8 year old girls
Pros- The girls were really cute and fun, and they do a lot of the same activities and sports that I did at their age. Since they're the same age, they can easily play together and do the same activities. They seemed to get along together very well (though I'm not naive enough to think that will always be the case ;-)

Cons- They have a dog that will need to be taken care of, which includes changing and cleaning it's bellyband (which is like a dog diaper). This mom seemed like a bit more high maintenance, and was verryyy concerned about the house staying VERY tidy (no specific cleaning duties are included, just ensuring that I tidy up after whatever the girls and I do). Also this job includes A LOT of driving, to various summer camps and sports and things like that, as well as stuff like going to the library or the zoo, etc. At this point we have not discussed my being reimbursed for gas, but I do think that I will ask for that.

Before I met the twins, I had all but decided on Job #1, but they were really fun. At this point I'm deadlocked, and there is no clear frontrunner.
Thanks for helping make this difficult decision!

When the Nanny Travels Along - UPDATE

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
I wrote and asked for other's advice on my upcoming vacation with the family for whom I work: (When the Nanny Travels Along). I was offered a "split shift" so that I could have some afternoons off to do some site-seeing myself. I returned last night, and this is actually how it all turned out...

My employers were very, very thoughtful and fair with me. I actually had to remind them several times that, while I was grateful, I was there so that they could enjoy their vacation time off. I encouraged them to go out and assured them I was quite comfortable staying home with the babies (seven month old twins), and that it was my expectation that this was a work week for me. I did work long days, and was responsible for getting the babies up around 6:30 and bathed and to bed each night at seven (and all else in between), but after that the parents really took over if a baby awoke, and they tended to any nighttime needs (although the babies are very good sleepers and easy to get back to sleep if the wake). During the day, if the parents were around they pitched in if both babies needed me at the same time. As well, they insisted upon cooking my meals and if they went out to eat they brought me some treat home. Midweek they scheduled a massage for me at a local spa. Saturday they took me out to all the local farmer's markets because they know I like that! A couple of the mornings they suggested I not begin my duties until 10am, and they took care of the early mornings so I could sleep in (usually I set my alarm for 6 each morning to insure I would be awake to hear the first call of the babies because the mom is a very light sleeper). So on a couple of mornings I got to sleep in. In the end, I was paid for my regular 12 hour daily shifts as if we were at home. They asked me if I thought this was fair and I agreed it was. I was also paid this rate for the short traveling days and for the extra personal time I had off.

So, I have to say, all-in-all, I am very grateful for how everything worked out on this trip. Generally speaking, it was hard for me to be away from my family for so long (10 days) and I did get very homesick at times. Also, I struggled some with occasional moodiness in the household that I am not used to. It is more difficult to be in this role of "Mother's helper" than to be a nanny while the parents work. I know that they are my employers and these are their children and I respect that and acquiesce to their requirements. But I am a retired kindergarten teacher, paid freelance mentor to new kindergarten teachers, mother of 5, grandmother of 4, and I have a lot of experience under my belt. So, in all honesty, it is very hard to have my judgement questioned by first time parents of 7 month olds. But....like I said, I am their employee, so I just bite my tongue and go ahead with what they have asked/told me to do. They are very bright people and like all of us, will figure out parenthood by trial and error.

Wilton Mall - Saratoga Springs, NY

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
I was appalled to see the group of women who brought their daycare to the wilton mall. There was at least 8 women and countless kids that no one was watching. in the very short time that I was there I noticed 5 kids leave the play area and wander into the mall,little babies being pushed and one got his fingers stepped on, several slaps in the face and kicks and a spit in the face, and 2 little ones climbing over the wall from the seats. when someone did get up to handle a problem they were all annoyed at the children. One even threatened no snack today! What a nightmare!!!

So, now what?

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
Update on the Best Way to Cut Ties.....
I gave my 4 week notice yesterday, and it did not go well... Mom berated me and told me I was selfish for not telling her I was looking, that I will have bad karma, and how I must not care about the kids at all.

The reason I gave was that I needed to attend school full time so I accepted a part time position.

Then she tried negotiating, offering to sign the car over to me, a raise, less hours, more time off, allowing my boyfriend to spend the night, etc. I told her it was non negotiable, which upset her more.

She just would not leave me alone all day. She kept pressing for more info until I told her why I was so unhappy. I told her most times I didn't want to be there In my time off, about how mean she was to me and how much it was affecting my life mentally and physically. She cried and appologized and keeps begging me to reconsider, but I reminded her that I'm also severely allergic to her 3 cats. She said she would change, and anything to keep me but I said no.

How can I get her to accept that I will not stay?

Slophouse Revisited...

Received Friday, June 4, 2010
First, here are the pictures of the disgusting house I used to work in and what I had to look at everyday. There are more but these are the most important ones, I thought:






Click on photos to view larger.
Update: (Original post is located here)
I called MSPCA, because I was concerned for the animals. They said they have 7 days to separate where the dogs eat from where they poop and to clean up PROPERLY. (which should be OUTSIDE), And they also said they are obligated to call CPS about the children living in the same conditions as the dogs. Who knows where it will go from there. Hopefully they will just simply be forced to rip up their rugs. and get hardwood floors if they ever want animals again and especially if they want their kids. It's not that hard to hire a dog walker/trainer. Or just dont have dogs and kids if you can't keep things sanitary. It's a simple concept. Don't take on more than you can handle. I feel like things are being delt with properly, and I hope things work out for everyone involved. Thanks for everyones support!