Wednesday, August 6, 2008.

Random Acts Of Kindness
A random act of kindness is a selfless act performed by a person for no reason other than to brighten another individual's day. Have you ever done anything nice for someone? Has someone ever done anything nice for you? We would love to hear your story.
"Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty" - Anne Herbert

Pierrepont Playground - Brooklyn Heights

Received Tuesday, August 5, 2008.
Oblivious nanny, Pierrepont playground, Brooklyn Heights, Tuesday 8/5, 12 noon-ish. Your 5-6 y.o. daughter, Juliette, was playing on the monkey bars in the section of the playground fenced in for young children. She has long dark hair, lovely eyes and smile. She was wearing a light-colored skirt and a green spaghetti-strap shirt with a wide hairband in her hair. Juliette is very agile on the monkey bars and enjoyed hanging upside down--until she fell on her head. I picked her up as she was crying--she was holding her back as well--and asked if her mommy was there. She said her babysitter was over there reading a book. Where? Where was on the other side of the playground sitting on a bench reading a book (outside of the fenced-in area and completely out of eyesight of your daughter). At first I thought Juliette said the nanny's name was Fiona, but then it sounded like she called out to Ginna. At any rate, I walked Juliette over to her, and she did not look up from her book until we were standing right in front of her, and I had to say something to get her attention. Juliette's nanny looked young--early to mid-20s, white, with light brown hair. She spoke Spanish or another language to your daughter.
I didn't notice what she was wearing, but she had a very large, silver leather bag on the bench next to her. I'm sure you're paying the nanny good money to WATCH and interact with your child. She was not doing it today. Juliette is a very sweet, engaging little girl. My 3 y.o. dd enjoyed playing with and trying to imitate her on the monkey bars. Juliette deserves a nanny who will play with her and watch out for her--not sit around reading a book.

Jonathan Kay on Internet Trolls...

You probably have met an Internet troll — even if you don’t know the term. They are the juvenile cretins who infest Internet message boards, taunting the earnest types chatting away about Gossip Girls, or Barack Obama, or Scientology. Their method is to post willfully ignorant, insulting messages, then sit back and enjoy the righteous, impotent fury aroused among the true believers.
Trolling is an inherently nihilistic activity — which is why most trolls tend to be adolescent males, the sort of specimens who would otherwise entertain themselves by using bathroom graffiti to libel the sexual habits of high-school classmates. But there is a small elite that has turned trolling into a full-time calling. They congregate on anonymous web sites such as 4chan.org, and informally tally the “lulz” they’ve earned by humiliating others.

Read the full article here.
(Thanks to Fox in Socks)

Jane from Jamaica....

Received Tuesday, August 5, 2008- Rants and Warnings
UES - IF YOU RECENTLY HIRED A NANNY NAMED JANE, READ THIS!!!!!!!!
Jane M. (late 30's from Jamaica, typically wears a hat, has one son in his teens) used to work for us (and before us, she worked for two little girls on 87th street).

Jane began working for us March 2004 when our son was just six weeks old. We adored her -- she was a member of our family. We considered ourselves lucky ... she was attentive, kind, compassionate ... the nanny that everyone wanted to steal. Mid November 2006, something changed. For a few days, she was distracted and quiet. We asked if all was ok and she told us that she was fighting a cold. We gave her a Thursday and Friday off and she came back on Monday her usual self. That Wednesday night, it was raining -- so I asked her to leave the building at 6pm with our son, and meet me in a cab and 76th and Park -- I would drop her off at the subway and then continue on to our 6:30 music class. She was never late so I started to worry when it was 620 and she was not there yet. She finally showed up (after not answering her phone) just before 6:30 -- her friend was with her. When I asked if all was ok, she told me that the doormen had been mean to her -- but all was ok. I pressed her for details and she finally told me that the doorman scolded her for not having our son in his stroller and letting him play in the lobby before it was time to jump into a cab. I felt horrible and I told her that I would speak to them when i got home – she begged me not to.

When I got home from music class that night at 8pm, the doorman and head of the maintenance dept were both waiting for me. Before I could question them about what had happened, they told me that she had come down into the lobby with our son and her friend around 5:45. They were sitting off to the side of the automatic door (her back was to the door) and our son was playing in front of them. After a few minutes, he ran over to the automatic doors, watched them open, watched them close and then ran back to her. This went on 5-6 times and according to the doorman, she never broke conversation with her friend. The 7th time, our son ran through the door, out onto the sidewalk – luckily a maintenance person was mopping up the wet floors, saw our son and chased after him. He caught him just feet away from the corner of our street and third avenue. He carried our son back into the building – and Jane was still deep in conversation and did not even know our 2 year old was gone. It was dark, raining and rush hour … I do not even want to think about what could have happened!
We called and confronted her, she did not deny it – but rather got angry and told us that the doorman wanted her to lose her job because it was almost time for holiday bonuses. Needless to say, we fired her.

The next day, the doormen told us that she had been acting strange for the past ten days – she was not her normal pleasant self and in fact had gotten into a confrontation with one of the maintenance men and actually spit at him (in front of our son!!). When I called to shut off her cell phone, I was told that in the ten days prior, she had used more than 1200 daytime minutes – with calls ranging from 45-60 minutes at a time … all during the time that she should have been watching my two year old. A few weeks later, we started getting phone calls from a bank in British Columbia looking to verify her employment with us.

We have not seen or spoken to her in almost two years … until the other day when I was horrified to see her pushing a (pink?) bugaboo stroller on Madison Avenue in the 80’s. If this is your child … beware … and be sure to question her about her work history!

Carl Shurz Park in NYC

Second Report on Nanny at Carl Shurz Park
Received Tuesday, August 5, 2008
On Monday, at approximately 12:20 PM in the afternoon on the 4th of August, I witnessed a nanny behaving inexplicably alongside her male charge. The Caucasian nanny was between 25-30 with brownish/blond hair, worn in a hair tie. She was approximately 5'4"-5'6" and between 160-180 lbs. She wore a sleeveless top and bright red shorts with white Ked tennis shoes. Her charge was a Caucasian boy of about 13 years old with reddish brown hair, wearing an Ohio State Jersey and very long cargo shorts and Nike tennis shoes sans socks. The nanny and boy were at times hanging out with another nanny and her three charges; 2 boys and a girl; all of whom appeared to be over the age of 10.

The nanny I witnessed behaved in a manner that whilst witnessing it caused me to become uncomfortable. The nanny was very physical with the teenage boy and encouraged him to be physical. At different points during this, I witnessed her A) wrestling the boy in the grass b) riding on his back while he crawled in the grass and C) receiving a pony back ride from him as he walked around a path and up the steps with her on his back.

If you would replace the 13 year old boy with a 18 year old boy and almost thirty year old nanny with an 18 year old girl, this would have been a cute scene to watch unfold before your eyes. But watching a nanny cavort like that with her charge was a bit much, and I do not believe I was the only person who grew uncomfortable while watching the nanny's come hither, flirtatious and solicitous behavior. The teenage boy was very well aware of the physical contact and flirtatious behavior.

If you employ this nanny or this is your child, I beg of you to please intervene.
I'm hoping that the canoodling ended at the park and didn't continue in some other fashion behind closed doors.

Received Monday, August 4, 2008
I would call this one, 'inappropriate nannies at Carl Shurz Park". I say two white nannies, or babysitters at the park outside of the playground with their charges. Both appeared to be 22-26. One was slightly chubby with a simple face, blonde hair with bangs and a ponytail. She wore red shorts and a red and white striped sleeveless top. The other was white but had the front part of her hair braided as if she had just returned from a Caribbean vacation. Her hair was brown and shoulder length. I cant remember what she had on her bottoms but she was wearing a grey t-shirt with a picture of that painter from PBS. The white guy with the afro, Bob somebody. I forget his name but knew his face. Anyway these two were watching three children between them., all boys between 9-14. I don't know who belonged to who. I can say that the oldest boy had long hair in a seventies shag cut. One of the boys had reddish brown hair and was wearing a yellow jersey with red #72. The third boy was the smallest, a short boy with a close cut haircut wearing a dark blue t-shirt with a white swoosh on it. This boy was wearing black and orange van tennis shoes. The problem I had with the girls is that they were cavorting with the boys in a way that struck me as inappropriate. The girls had the two larger boys give them piggy back rides and race around. I get that it could be fun, but I think for a young teen to have a busty babysitter on his back, it just seems wrong. Don't you think? I don't think it would be good for their backs either. I just felt the nanny/babysitters conduct with the boys lent towards the flirtatious. The chubby gal kept ruffling the boys hair. I don't think I am a prude, this just didn't feel right. The girl with braids in her hair was named Ally and one of the boys (I am not sure which) was named Ben.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

to The Ardmore Babysitter who saved her charges from a fire.
to The Colquitt County Babysitter who may have saved an abused child's life.

Five Basic Principles to Land Your Dream Job

Tuesday, August 5, 2008- Guest Column by North Jersey Nanny
A few weeks ago, I read H’s post about interviewing/hiring a nanny with great interest, as I am a career nanny and I was in the process of searching for a job. Although I was did not like her tone through the piece, I agreed with the underlying sentiment – you can NEVER be too careful in selecting a caregiver for your child. However, like most professional nannies, I am also extremely selective in the interview process and believe in taking my time and finding the perfect fit. It took me three months to find my current position and I am so glad I waited, as I can picture myself here for years to come.

Why did it take me three months to find this position? It wasn’t for lack of interviews, or job offers, for that matter. It was the communication gap between potential families and myself – the vague e-mails that led to pointless interviews, the bait and switch scenarios, and the desperate desire to find the ONE job that had to be out there. I’m hoping that this post helps parents understand a nannies’ point of view during the interview process and helps at least one family find the perfect nanny. Hopefully it won’t take three months!

Please note that I found my current position through a community posting board and am not an advocate of using nanny agencies. In my experience, agencies push both nannies and employers to settle for less then perfect, in order to collect their finder’s fee. I am comfortable with extensive record checking and reference verification; in fact, I encourage it. I am not comfortable with someone else representing me.

Be realistic from the get go: Craig’s List in my area (Northern New Jersey suburbs of Manhattan) is like a car crash sometimes. You just can’t look away, as horrible as it might be. Craig’s List Crusader, among others, gives you a good idea of what people are looking for (and what they are willing to pay) and it really gives me pause. There is a pervasive sense of entitlement that really bothers me among families. I understand wanting the best possible care for your child and I also understand the realities of the current economic situation. However, more and more, I see ads offering sub-minimum wage salaries with demands such as COLLEGE EDUCATED A MUST and YOU BETTER BE CLEAN CAUSE I WILL RUN YOUR BACKGROUND (no, I’m not joking. Look for yourself.) I appreciate honesty as much as anyone else but those ads will not attract a high quality caregiver. Be as specific, and honest, as possible. The most important thing I look for in an ad is the tone. $700 A WEEK CA$$$$H I NEED SOMEONE NOW YOU BETTER COOK CLEAN AND DRIVE CAUSE THAT’S WHAT I NEED AND YOU WEAR A UNIFORM AND VACATION AFTER ONE YEAR LIVE IN GO HOME ON WEEKENDS WE NEED T HE ROOM $700 A WEEK CA$$$$$$H would not draw my attention, at all. As a parent, I would never consider a candidate whose ad was incoherent, disrespectful, and riddled with misspellings. Why would I respond to a prospective employers’ ad that shares those qualities? However, a well written ad detailing responsibilities, location, and general salary range would.

Honesty is the best policy: Although I posted one ad on Craig’s List during my search, I prefer to contact families myself. Once I read an ad, I get a general idea of whether or not I would be a good fit for their requirements and can decide whether or not to continue. Once I’ve made e-mail contact with a family, I really like to have a long (and involved) phone conversation to discuss my qualifications and what the job entails. Understandably, some parents hesitate to discuss salary during these phone calls. “Money isn’t the most important thing” and all that, but – the fact is – if I am going to drive to your house and devote a few hours of my time to learning more about your position, I am going to need to know if we are on the same page. Commiserate with experience is a term I am so sick of – it has no meaning in the relatively unregulated nanny market. I have responded to ads with that phrase in it several times and have received responses that varied from minimum wage (in ca$$$$h) to $52,000.00/year on the books (benefits negotiable). PLEASE be prepared to discuss a salary range before meeting me in person. I once drove 30 minutes to a job interview that was held on a magnificent estate. I spent 4 hours of my time touring the grounds, meeting the children, and speaking with the former nanny. When it was time for the salary talk, the mother calmly told me, “Starting salary for our nannies is $7/hourly with no overtime. Vacation means you travel with us and you receive Christmas off paid.” If we had this discussion over the phone, I would have been able to tell her I was not the right person for the job. You are welcome to offer whatever salary and benefits are right for your family – but please be upfront about them.

Privacy is important to me: I would never give a stranger my employers’ phone number. What kind of judgment would that show? That’s why I’m so surprised how many people expect references in the first e-mail or prior to meeting. My former employers’ are busy, professional people who are kind enough to speak to serious, prospective employers about my job performance and skills. I provide home phone numbers and addresses so potential employers can verify identities and I am willing to give personal references as well. If you are uncomfortable with me meeting your children before verifying my address, I have one word for you: Starbucks. If I gave my references to everyone who I spoke to about a potential job, I would be wasting unbelievable amounts of time and providing sensitive information to glorified strangers. It isn’t going to happen; please understand.

Your kids are not that cute: In the current economy, a lot of people are feeling the squeeze. However, I am not a volunteer. Single parents, low income families, etc – there are resources for child care and excellent daycares that offer wonderful, loving care at affordable rates. Au pairs average $300/ish a week (or so I’ve heard) and that’s live in help. When I posted my (sole) ad offering my services, almost half of the responses began “I cannot afford to pay much, but… My kids are REALLY cute and well behaved”. As someone who was raised by a single parent, I can respect you for wanting excellent childcare for your child. As someone who supports my family, I cannot accept a position that pays $3 an hour. However, there are some free to inexpensive ways to attract a quality caregiver when you cannot keep up with the Joneses. I know an amazing nanny who left her position when she became pregnant because she was working crazy hours. She now makes half of what she took home before ($10/hourly, pre-tax) and has never been happier – because her current employers allow her to bring her son! I accepted my current position, partially because it offers a four day work week. Be creative in your thinking – do you have a cell phone plan that you could ad a nanny to? A family Y membership? Do you get summer Fridays or a lot of vacation days? Treat your nanny like you would like to be treated – and then treat her a little bit better. Yes, you still need to pay a living wage, but perks mean a lot to a caregiver. A family that keeps its word and respects its nanny keeps help a lot longer then people who are financially generous and personally… difficult.

Once you’ve made your choice, let’s start working – together! This site is a testimony to the fact that there are extraordinary caregivers – and terrifyingly neglectful ones as well. I am empathetic to a working parent’s (or SAHP with assistance) dilemma – I am sure it is hard to begin building a bond of trust with your new caregiver. But, guess what? It is hard for us too! That’s why I strongly prefer taking a position where there is some sort of transition period. In my current job, I worked with the nanny for my first week and the mother for my second. I got to watch, first hand, how they both approached the daily routine and began to slowly integrate myself into the lives on my charges. I also was able to ask questions, field constructive criticism, and get a feel for what the position would be like. The mother – and former nanny – also got to see me in my element, interacting with her children and helping with the household. You never know until you ask – and the same goes for your nanny. If Jimmy wakes up everyday from his nap, screamingly hungry or you never, ever let the children drink juice – even though your fridge is filled with it, I need to know these things! When starting a new nanny position, not only do you have to deal with strong personalities and getting to know a new set of rules, you are faced with the subtleties and difficulties of working in a private home – and it isn’t easy! The more I know about you and your wishes and your routine, the better I can implement them!

These five basic principles helped me to land my dream job. I’d love to hear from other nannies on how they approach the interview process and hope that my experience can be of use to someone, someday!

*If you are a nanny or nanny employer and would like to share your personal experience or advice, please do. You choose whether to reveal your name or write anonymously. Contact Jane for more information.

Nanny concerned about Mom's change in Diet

Update:
Received Monday, August 4, 2008:
My boss told me this morning that she is almost three months pregnant! This explains so much.
I won't say more because I can't reveal any confidences, but lets say it came as a big shock to both parents. Though they are happy, Mom has decided to make a career ending decision. She was working from home so she could maintain connections to her field and still be a part of the children's life and she has decided to shelve it ALL for now. The family is even downsizing into a smaller house. She's still eating quite a bit more than I'm used to seeing her eat, but not around the children. I never said anything, just waited and watched. I did appreciate everyone's comments. Thanks. And in case you are wondering, she does want me to stay on part time and live in. This has turned to be a big advantage to me because I intend to go back to school.

Received Tuesday, July 29, 2008. 

ISYN - Perspective & Opinion

I have a problem that I never expected to have. I don't know how to deal with it. First, let me say, I work for a very wonderful family. They are generous, treat me as one of their own and are respectful of my time and contribution to the family. I have been with them for three years and I live in. My boss, the "Mrs" and I get along well, so much so that we will go out for coffee or shopping when I am or am not working, whenever it comes up.
I really love this woman alot, but here is the problem. She works from home and just had her second child *not too long ago*. She is a doting mother, when she is able to join us on an outing or in an activity, she makes it more fun, she doesn't mind getting dirty, she has a deep, real laugh and is a really good person. Here comes the but... But, since she had the second child, I have noticed some changes in her behavior. One has to do with her diet. When I started working here, I started when their first child was 2. I brought my own nutritional ideas to the table and this was more than embraced by both the mr. and the mrs. My basic ideas are to eat healthy, unprocessed food whenever possible, no soda, no white bread, no fast food. Do they have candy? Yes, but we don't make an issue out of it. A good snack for the child is an oreo and an orange, an orange or two oreos. And they know that. They know that two oreos are a serving size. I guess my point is whatever the rules are, the children know them. We push fruit, water, vegetables. Lowfat milk is an option but if they don't want milk, they never have to drink it.

So about 2 weeks after she had the baby, she went on the Zone. This is a diet where they deliver your meals to you every day. Every morning, you get your breakfast, lunch and dinner as well as snacks packed up and left for you on your doorstep. She was on the zone and started working out and things were fine.
About three weeks after that, the zone meals would just sit in the refrigerator or be dumped out and I noticed that the mrs was eating a lot of junk. This is her business, I realize. The problem is she would grab a carton of milk (now whole milk) and plop down at the table with a cup and a bag of nutter butters. She would eat rows of them. This is an example. Because it is summer, the children are around and they would sit on her lap or she would talk to them and soon they would be sitting and eating nutter butters..or oreos...or kettle korn....or dibs...or nacho cheese doritos.
I thought perhaps this was a hormonal pms, post pg, so I said little. When she wasn't around, I would remind the children about the vegetables that were cut up and try to be a good example myself.

At night, when the Mr comes home, the two of them have dinner together in the summer. I am usually at the club with the children or playing outside or whatever... But they usually have dinner by the pool every night and take a swim together. I noticed, without being nosy, that the Mrs. would bring her zone meal and pretend to pick at it and complain that it didn't taste good or that it was just too much food.

I have a special shelf in the house that I keep my junk on. Out of site of the children. I am not a health nut, I do understand...

She has been taking the children out to run errands with her, short errands, often food related. They come back swilling sunny delight, HI-C, Coke (yes coke). Little Debbie Snack cake wrappers litter her once immaculate car. It is now okay to have waffles with whip cream and strawberries for lunch. Peanut butter and honey sandwiches on white bread.

It isn't my house, I get that. I get they aren't my children. I know where I stand as an employee, but this woman is also a friend and I am concerned about her behavior. This is a woman who wore tank tops all the time because her shoulders, arms and neck are/were really the picture of perfection. She took pride in that.

It is summer and hot and so humid and she wears her pregnancy jeans and sweatshirts on most days. Some days, she gets up in the morning, takes a shower and puts on a clean pair of pajama loungewear.

You see, the food and body thing is the only sign I see. I was here after she had her second and she got back in to shape within 8 weeks.

But the food thing isn't just about her. That is why I think it is some sort of depression. This is a woman who is so careful about what she does and says in front of the children. The parents won't even turn on the news in front of the children. She is a really, really good mother and the fact that she is eating like this with her children is so unlike her. This is a woman who never had a special shelf of snack food not suitable for children because she wanted her children to just have normal relationships with food. For example, when they want ice cream, she will say, "yes, let's walk to town". And they get their ice cream.

So like I said, I know as an employee, I should MYOB. But since I have been here for a long time and as a live in, our relationship is a friendship too. It is two seperate relationships. As a friend, I want to ask her if everything is okay. But I fear she could react badly and take her frustrations out on me, the employee.

Does this make sense?

This is a woman I care a great deal about and something is wrong. I don't know what to do. And going to the husband would not be an option. I am not close with him like I am with her and doing anything like that would be betraying the many confidences she has in me.

Help?

Puzzled? We'll help you sort things out. Email isynblog@gmail.com.

CL - WTF?

Nanny with a high emphasis on Person Assistant (60/40) (Armonk)
....Generally, in the nanny capacity, you should provide astute supervision, all the while encouraging the children to act responsibly and to maintain their dignity. As parents, my wife and I are strict. ....
and ...Our ideal candidate will possess a love of photography....

Is the cleavage a selling point? Accepting Applications for Nanny available 9/1 (Norwalk)

Read something worthy of a mention? Leave us a link, we'll include it next time.

Monday, August 4, 2008.

Ready-Set-Bumbo

Child crushed by T.V. Dies
West Haven, Conn.- A two-year-old girl who pulled a large television set onto herself, becoming trapped last month, has died from her injuries.

Janiya Powe-Santiago of West Haven had been in grave condition since the July 25 accident at a family friend's house, where she and her mother were staying overnight.

The friend, Crystal Webber, confirmed for the New Haven Register in Sunday's edition that the little girl died Friday afternoon.

During the early morning hours of July 25, a loud boom could be heard when Janiya apparently pulled the TV down from a small table. She was found trapped underneath it.

Consumer Reports: How to keep Little one's out of Harm's way

The Best Nanny Job Ever (almost)

Monday, August 4, 2008 - Guest Column by Anonymous

About 2 years ago, I used to Nanny for a Gay couple with one child, an adopted 6 m.o. boy. It was a dream job. They were a very sweet Couple, and extremely generous with me. You could tell they wanted the best for their baby, and they were really good Parents. I worked from 7 am to 5 pm Tues - Sat, Sundays and Mondays I had off. They owned a very popular Salon.

I would come in just as they were leaving. They got up with the baby every morning to feed and dress him because they wanted to spend time with him before leaving for work. My only other duties were baby-related, like laundry.

After a couple of months, with everything going smoothly, one of them started to come home during the middle of the day. I thought it was odd, and figured maybe they were just checking in with me or coming to see the baby. I didn't ask. But I could feel the tension.

I hoped I wasn't doing anything wrong, but thought if I was - they would tell me.

One day in particular, the same one had come home again, fussing like you wouldn't believe. He was so upset, I couldn't understand what was going on. He asked me to come upstairs, so I did. He led me into the master bath and told me to grab a toothbrush. I was obviously curious, why did he want me to grab a toothbrush?

He says, "This is what I want you to do".... and takes the toothbrush he tried to hand me and goes about scrubbing the toilet with it.

I asked him what was going on, and he said, "that's what you get when you cheat on me!" And then it started to dawn on me - he was using his partner's toothbrush to scrub the toilet. I don't know why he had wanted me to do it, but there's no way in hell I would have.

I said, "but he's going to get really sick." He says, "I don't really care."

I could feel my perfect dream job slowly crashing down around me.
I wrestled with the idea of telling the other guy what he had done with the toothbrush, but decided I'd better stay out of it.

Over the next several days, the fighting got worse. Then they just called me up one day and one of them (the one who now had a toothbrush that must've tasted like Tidy Bowl) told me that their Mom was coming to take the baby until things settled down.
I was devastated.

My perfect dream job didn't last very long. They ended up splitting, and I haven't heard from either of them since. I've never made more money before that job, or since. And the baby was the sweetest little baby you could imagine. I miss him so much.

I always wonder how he's doing and where he is now.

*If you are a nanny or nanny employer and would like to share your personal experience or advice, please do. You choose whether to reveal your name or write anonymously. Contact Jane for more information.

Bad Nanny Experience in Illinois

Received Sunday, August 3, 2008- Rants and Warnings
I hope that I can warn others about a bad nanny in the greater Chicagoland area.

My ex husband employed Kristy V. (last name available) in Aug, 2007 to care for my 9 year old daughter when she is in his custody. My child would report to me that the nanny was constantly on My Space. She even assisted my child to navigate about on My Space, which is clearly against their policies. After discovering that she was posting photos of my child on her My Space, I requested that Kristy take them down. She refused and turned her My Space to, "private". Of course, this is not really effective. In July, 2008 I discovered that Kristy had posted 25 additional photos of my child. I contacted The National Center for Child Exploitation. They sent a statement detailing the dangers of posting photos of children on the internet. I forwarded this to the nanny and my ex husband. She once again refused to remove the photos and apparently, protested that it her was her right to post these pictures with no regard for my child's safety. I contacted the Parental Control unit at My Space. They were quite alarmed by this and escalated the case and they removed the photos and also the entry where she had posted my child's full name and location. She continues to be defiant in charging that she has been "stalked" and that people should, "grow up" and "free time should be spent getting a life". She also claims to find this, "amusing". Strangely enough, on the day that I contacted the Illinois DCFS, she decided to take a vacation to Florida.

The moral of this story is please thoroughly investigate the background of anyone that you hire to care for your children. I would ask if they have My Space or better yet, get their email address and then search My Space. You will likely see a very different person than the one standing in front of you at the interview.

Fired For a Reason?

Received Sunday, August 3, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
This has nothing to do with being a nanny, but working with children. I sent in something about the child at my daycare being unsupervised in a sandbox, and the Eye Roll Girl. Well, ERG and I started speaking, I thought things were going great with my job, I taught myself and my class sign language, and I was doing my job to the best of my ability, meaning that I was bright, energetic, and cheerful. I wasn't aware of any problems, and I was recently fired from this daycare because my communication skills with staff and parents weren't were they needed to be. I found it easy to communicate with parents, and didn't think I was having a problem. I did find it hard to communicate with staff, since I got a lot of attitude from them. Remember, this was a group of friends, and I didn't go to work to socialize-I went to do a job.

I was also called "loud and boisterous"-I looked it up and it said "hyper, loud, unruly". Ok, yes I can be hyper and loud at times, (ADHD plays a part in the energy thing) but unruly? I was insulted by that comment. I think I was fired because I did my job and a good one at that, but I think the main reason I was fired was because I didn't fit into the "sorority". Has anyone ever been fired for a vague reason-I consider this vague, since nothing specific was brought to my attention which would be an example of my lack of communication skills. How did you explain your being let go to potential employers during job interviews? I was told I could use the center as a reference, which concerns me. Then, because I could see a family that attends the center, how do I explain the reason I was fired, since I know they will ask? Never again will I work in daycare.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Jeffrey Leonard for catching a two year old falling from a ledge.
To Danield Collins who forced his daughter to stab the family kitten.

More in the news:
Boy, 4, Tries To Drive To Grandma's
A preschooler put his little brother in a car, got it turned around and headed off to his grandmother's house. WKYT-TV reported the trip didn't go well.

Probation In Case Of Woman Stuck To Toilet
A man whose girlfriend sat on a toilet for so long that the seat adhered to her body will spend six months on probation.

Boy Turns Mom In For Making Phony Money
A Bakersfield woman is facing charges that she counterfeited money and identification cards after her 10-year-old son turned her in to authorities.

Father, 14 years old, held as suspect in child abuse
A 14-year-old father was arrested on suspicion of five counts of child abuse after his 7-week-old son suffered life-threatening injuries, police said. The baby is hospitalized in critical but stable condition.

NYC girl survives 180-ft. fall down Chimney
A 12-year-old girl just wanted to show her cousin the view from her family's Manhattan rooftop. Instead, she fell into a chimney and plummeted down the flue for 14 stories, emerging nearly unscathed to tell her story after landing in a pile of furnace soot.

Yes, we would love to incorporate your personal nanny stories into a regular and ongoing blog feature. But for us to do that, we need.....your stories. If you are interested, please submit your stories to the blog by emailing me, or leaving your story as an anonymous comment to this post.

Comment leads nanny to reevaluate her position...

Received Sunday, August 3, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I am a nanny with three years experience. I have been working at my job for almost four weeks. This week, the Mom boss told me to take "K" to the toy store and let her pick out some new toys, so we had some 'fun stuff' to play with around the house. "K" is almost 4. K wanted two dolls, a pretend purse, a vacuum and a maid cart. The maid cart is complete with trash can, spray pump, vacuum, mop, broom, bucket, etc. We accomplished the task and K had a lot of fun with her toys. "K" had so much fun with her maid cart and vacuum that "K" said "I'm gonna be like Edith when I get big". Edith is their longtime housekeeper. She has been with them since before they were married. I told the mother on Friday how much fun the new toys were and what "K" said about wanting to be like "Edith". The mom boss said, "Let's not encourage that, shall we". I looked at her kind of confused, unsure of whether she was joking or not. It was then that she replied, "I am not paying 18 thousand dollars for preschool so she can clean some one's toilets". The look on her face was pretty surely disgust. My face was frozen. I did not respond. I thought it was such a nasty and bitchy comment to say. I was particularly upset that the mother said it in front of "K". It doesn't seem to me Mom thinks too highly of their housekeeper of 12 years. I have no strong feelings one way or another about my job. It is a wait and see thing for me, but this comment- I thought this comment was completely vulgar. Is this a warning sign for a nanny?

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Pretenders- I'll Stand By You
Umass first tipped us off to the cause of all the blog crashing yesterday...
Sitemeter Attacks
Starting yesterday, Sitemeter has caused thousands of blogs to fail in Internet Explorer 7 for some reason. Popular sites such as I Saw Your Nanny, Hot Air and Michelle Malkin sites have been affected. The problem exists on Sitemeter’s own website. It appears that Sitemeter changed its coding yesterday without warning its users, and without testing it before going live with the changes. (Read more.)

AND in the news:
Kidnapped girl found in Baltimore; Father charged
'Rockefeller kidnapping': From the tip off to the FBI rescue
Police: Rockefeller Caught, Daughter is Safe

Caylee Anthony Weekend Update: By: Gary C. King

Manny, the Drill Instructor

Received Friday, August 1, 2008.

Physical description of caregiver: White manny with brown hair, brown eyes, fair skin, flamboyant in his gestures (can I say that?) walked with a very quick pace, small steps, wore tan colored jeans, a plaid shirt made by dickies and Jesus Sandals.

Physical description of involved child/children: One boy of about 7 years old. Medium height, slightly pudgy, dark, dark brown hair, almost black. A thick, shag style haircut, very olive-y skin, green eyes, white polo shirt, surfer print shorts, teva sandal shoes.

Date and time of incident: This afternoon at 3 or about 3.

Address or venue of observed incident: Manhattan - Bryant Park

Detailed description of what you witnessed: I see this guy first and I am watching him because he doesn't look like he belongs on the playground. My radar goes up. So I am watching him and then I see him interact with a child he obviously knows. During the interaction it becomes clear that he is the child's child care provider. The child is being made to run and tag objects and run back to the childcare provider. This isn't so much as a fun game.
The child clearly doesn't want to do this but he is being made to do this. The child is asking to stop. The manny tells the child he is not done. He has the child run and touch this tree or run to the steps or run around this table twice. The kid asks for breaks because he is getting hot. The manny lets him have a break but tells the kid that he shouldn't need a break.

The kid asks to go on a carousel, the manny tells him he is too big for the carousel. The kid says he isn't. The manny says that they can go on the carousel but then proposes a whole list of other runs for the kid. The manny is wearing a pretty basic black watch. I think he is timing the child. None of his comments are especially positive. The nicest things the manny says to the kid are things like "by next month you won't be out of breath so quickly".

Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: Just the very weird walk the guy had. He's not effeminate persay, but obviously comfortable with his sexuality.
Side note: Before you say, 'he might be doing exactly what the parents asked him to', I have something to say. Yes, he could. I don't know. I also thought the whole thing was pretty humiliating for a child. I got back to my office and found myself still thinking about that boy and feeling for him.

Burned-out Nanny gets Flamed

Received Friday, August 1, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I did something terrible today. First, I am babysitting for an 8 day period straight. The parents are out of town. I am a good nanny and like the family and they like me. It's a normal situation. It's not horrible, it's not super. Some days I like going to work, some days I hate it. I have lazy days too but I don't ever mistreat or ignore the children.

Today the little boy begged me to take him back to the park. It is the last thing I wanted to do as it has been so hot where we live. He said his pal was going to be there, so I relented. I packed a tote bag with magazines so I could sit and read and I timed the visit so the baby could take her nap at the park. We get to the park, it is crowded, and my little boy (4.5 yrs old) finds his friend and starts playing. They are playing rather wildly, but they are boys. They are being loud and running around and pretend shooting and pretend falling.

I have my foot on the baby's stroller and I am rolling it back and fourth as she drinks her bottle. I am reading with interest the magazines I brought. I look up at my little guy just to get a visual. I am not interested in what he is doing, I have seen it a thousand times before. He isn't looking for me to watch him. He is totally mesmerized by his new pal. The baby falls asleep. She is usually good for an hour, but she is up in 40 minutes. She isn't fully up, so I start rocking her stroller back and fourth with my foot again. I say to her, "I think you're still sleepy, sleep, sleep, sleep". I am using a pleasant tone and halfway kidding. The baby is 13 months old. She has been walking since she was 9.5 months. She is a terror to unleash at the park because she goes everywhere, doesn't listen, gets stepped on, pushed down, etc. In short, I was never planning to have her out of the stroller.

I am reading my magazine and the baby starts to fuss. I am still looking at my magazine and I hand the baby my keys. I know she likes to play with them. Seconds pass and a white woman is looming over me. She says, "You know I watched you sit here for two hours ignoring this baby, you haven't taken your eyes off your book, what kind of babysitter are you?"
I was caught completely off guard. She says, "I was holding back, I didn't want to say anything but when you handed her your filthy keys to pacify her, I just lost it". I look at her puzzled and annoyed, I say, "You lost it". She says, "I can't stand people like you. How much are you making to sit here and ignore this baby?" I say, "I am not answering that." She says, "No I want to know what a lazy slob of a nanny gets paid to sit on her ass and read magazines while one child is not allowed out of her stroller and another child is tearing the playground apart?" I say, "Tearing the playground apart?"
She starts yelling now. Saying, "You know what I mean. He's been pushing around the younger children, and climbing over them, but I bet you didn't notice, since you never looked up." The woman is starting to cause a scene.

I am a good babysitter. I am. I have been working non stop with two children who have no activities and no camp and the parents get home on Sunday, and I have to be back to work Monday morning at 8. I will wholeheartedly admit that I set off to the park with the intent to take a break, but this isn't my usual MO. Of course, I didn't explain any of this to her, I lost it.
I don't think I was wrong for planning to take a break at the park today, the children were not in danger, but I doubt the woman is going to paint the same story I saw. I had to sit down and write this. I'm sorry, I know it is long, I just feel so awful. It's a terrible feeling. I am completely distracted and worried. I do think I should tell my employers what happened first, but even so, I am just worried about the "then what".
Any advice from mothers would be very helpful. What would you do or feel if you were my employer? Thank you for reading and responding.

Drunken Husband makes advances toward Nanny

Received Friday, August 1, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I am in a bit of an uncomfortable situation. I am a live in nanny for a nice family with a 1 year old son. I work full-time and often they will go out. The mother is a medical resident so she works overnights a lot and the father works crazy hours as well. The other night I was babysitting and he came home at about 1130pm. The baby was asleep, of course, and I was watching some tv about to go to bed. He comes in EXTREMELY drunk. We are around the same age and I don't look down on him for drinking as I enjoy a nice cocktail once in awhile myself! Anyway he sat down next to me and we started chatting and all of a sudden he tried to kiss me. He told me he is so attracted to me, he feels neglected by his wife and basically he wont tell her what happens between us. I tell him hes drunk and to go to bed.
I go into my room and lock the door and go to sleep. He stays up for awhile but eventually goes to bed.

The next morning he just said hello and that was it. We havent said anything more to each other. I really dont know what to do. I really like these people and I adore their son. I know that if this were my hubby I would want to know that he tried to cheat on me. But at the same time no good can come out of telling her. I feel so uncomfortable and am thinking that I have to quit.
Any suggestions, advice?

Friday, August 1, 2008.

Update: The Search for Caylee Anthony

New Jailhouse call from Casey Anthony to her Brother
Video: Cindy Anthony on Larry King Live
Exclusive: Criminal Profiler Calls Casey Anthony "Dark Damsel"