Fired For a Reason?

Received Sunday, August 3, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
This has nothing to do with being a nanny, but working with children. I sent in something about the child at my daycare being unsupervised in a sandbox, and the Eye Roll Girl. Well, ERG and I started speaking, I thought things were going great with my job, I taught myself and my class sign language, and I was doing my job to the best of my ability, meaning that I was bright, energetic, and cheerful. I wasn't aware of any problems, and I was recently fired from this daycare because my communication skills with staff and parents weren't were they needed to be. I found it easy to communicate with parents, and didn't think I was having a problem. I did find it hard to communicate with staff, since I got a lot of attitude from them. Remember, this was a group of friends, and I didn't go to work to socialize-I went to do a job.

I was also called "loud and boisterous"-I looked it up and it said "hyper, loud, unruly". Ok, yes I can be hyper and loud at times, (ADHD plays a part in the energy thing) but unruly? I was insulted by that comment. I think I was fired because I did my job and a good one at that, but I think the main reason I was fired was because I didn't fit into the "sorority". Has anyone ever been fired for a vague reason-I consider this vague, since nothing specific was brought to my attention which would be an example of my lack of communication skills. How did you explain your being let go to potential employers during job interviews? I was told I could use the center as a reference, which concerns me. Then, because I could see a family that attends the center, how do I explain the reason I was fired, since I know they will ask? Never again will I work in daycare.


UmassSlytherin said...

OP, I don't know the situation first hand, only what you have told us. I remember your last posts, though.

I have never been fired, but I did once work at a daycare which was much like what you described. I didn't really fit in, and I disliked the director and the owner. The owner confided in me that the director was an alcoholic, and also that she had many problems with her. I should have seen this as a red flag since I don't believe in gossip within a daycare center: I remember my last advice to you was to avoid gossip at all costs. I think this is good advice. Anyway, long story short, at my three month review, when the owner and the director sat down with me and the director told me a few things she had problems with regarding my performance (none of which I agreed with) having to do with my manner of dealing one child in particular. This particular child was violent and was choking and scratching the other children. Several times I had to, being the supervisor in the room, explain to parents why their children had scratches and choke-marks on their bodies (ironically most of which happened when I was on my break and the assistant or this director was covering for me!). Well, when she told me that I "said the child's name too much" and was "too firm" with the child when these violent acts would occur (I guess saying the child's name firmly and "no hurting" and pulling the wild child off of the child who was getting hurt was "too firm?"), I refused to sign the three month review and I gave notice on the spot. I told her it was an unfair review and I had gotten no support in the numerous times I had requested a meeting with this child's parents and that I was leaving in two weeks. I did not use them as a reference.

As I said, I don't know how you feel, but sometimes we just don't click with a center and we have to leave. Don't feel bad about it, and I would not trust them to give you a good reference. Good luck, and look forward, not back. That is my humble advice.

v said...

People can he hurtful to us at times we least expect it. Here you are thinking the job you are doing is excellent and you are all of a sudden let down.
Remember the higher authority you work for and be thankful for the little things and the little lessons learned. Only then would we learn and be blessed even greater.
I too wouldn't trust them to give a good reference.


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry this happened to you. Sounds like they have a below-average way of running things and you were above-average...jealousy is an ugly trait. I hope you move on to bigger and better things!

It Happened To Me Also!!!! said...

The exact thing happened to me, only it took them 4 years of harrassing me for me to leave. I wanted to leave badly- sick to my stomach by Sunday afternoon every week- but couldn't find another job and I am a single mom. I too just wanted to do my job and wasn't interested in socializing with the high-schoolish, cliquey, and much younger group of coworkers.

They kept writing me up for minor things and finally downright lying about things I did and said. At one point they were even keeping a log and waiting for me to "screw up" so they could fire me.

Finally one day, I had my very sore knee in a brace and one of the toddlers briefly escaped in the hallway outside my classroom while I was unbuckling the other toddlers from the buggy. Since I couldn't move quickly, I put the word out that I was looking for him and I found him myself in the classroom right next to the buggy. I have no idea how he got the door open! So because of that I was fired and then denied my unemployment. So I got a lawyer and won my unemployment and they had to admit that they had harrassed me and I didn't deserve to be fired. I was happy to find out my boss was fired shortly after that incident.

Also I got great references from the families I worked from and still am in touch with any of them, plus I found my nanny job through one of the families. I also have a good friend that was also a supervisor. So he supplies an additional good reference for me when I need one.

It was a nightmmare. I never should have stayed so long.

I guess I should have attended some of the outside activities that didn't have to do with work even though I didn't think it was important. I guess that's what you're supposed to do to be a "team player". I wish somebody had taught me the rules of the game before all this happened.

Well, live and learn.

The children I nanny for are my best coworkers every! I asm very happy.

It Happened To Me Also!!!! said...

Sorry about typos in above comment.

Anonymous said...

I think we're only getting one side of the story.

Sorry OP, but I think you may be leaving something out or are completely unaware of possible flaws you may have exhibited that caused you to get fired. I could be wrong, though. I've experienced daycare cattiness. I worked in one for over 8 years. It's rough. If they told you that you're not communicating well with the parents AND staff though, there's a good chance they've gotten complaints. Enough complaining parents usually gets the job of firing done.

But again, I could be wrong. Maybe a grave injustice was done...

Marypoppin'pills said...

"The children I nanny for are my best coworkers ever!"
- It happened to me also, 5:21pm

I just had to say that I thought that was an incredibly sweet comment!

karen said...

I was fired from a Daycare job that I worked at for 3 years on my day off. I was written up once in the past for taking a nap with the children on my lunch break (which should not have been a problem). So while I was OFF that Friday the owners boss (whom did not like me cause her mom and I got along great and were pretty close)decided that I had slept at nap time on that Thurday ( which was my birthday and my friend came and ate lunch with me) and that Friday (which I was not even at work and yes I was asleep around their nap time but I was not there). She then sent my termination letter home with my friend and told me that I could not come back to tell my class bye or anyhing I just needed to come Saturday to get my things. Later, after talking to my parents of the children in my class of 9, 8 parents in my class and 4 other parents of children that I use to have pulled the kids out of the school. That just goes to show that there was something not right.

Nycnany said...

Regarding the previous post and sleeping with the children during naptime at the daycare--I am sorry that you got fired and I am not suggesting that you were a bad employee but I do not think that "napping with the children at naptime during lunchtime" is appropriate at. If my child was in that class and I came in to find the teacher/assistant napping with my child I would be highly upset. And as the director I would have a problem as well. Termination may have been a bit harsh but I would have certainly written you up. It is inappropriate. If you are that tired go sleep in your car. This is just my opinion though.

UmassSlytherin said...

I have to agree with nyc. I don't think there should be sleeping adults present in the classroom, whether or not they are on duty. It is unprofessional. Not to sound bitchy, but that's sort of a no-brainer. That being said, if I were the director, I would have given you a warning first before I fired you. But to be honest, anyone who would think that was appropriate would be questionable in my eyes. It's sort of juvenile to think that's ok. It is a classroom environment.

OP said...

I have thought it over and I think what happened in this situation was that someone may have made up something about me and the owner and directors believed it, since they were all friends. I didn't see the majority of my parents anyway, so I really don't think communication was the problem-if a parent did say something, I think it was taken out of context, then again, I can't remember saying anything that may have offended a parent. And as for the staff, well, trying to get to know them was impossible. Then again, I was there to work, not to discuss my boyfriend's new job or that fact that we are looking at wedding rings. Just my opinion. It happened, it's done, and I'm over it.

nycnanny said...

that was meant to read "inappropriate" not "appropriate at" my bad:)

kate said...

OP sounds like my little sister. She got fired from the daycare she worked at and had a similar story with no apparent clue what she'd done wrong. We listened for weeks about how terrible the director was, how everyone was against her, etc.

Then, a year after the firing, I heard from an old high school classmate that she had threatened a co-worker in the parking lot and told her (thug) boyfriend to slash her tires.

Who knows what's going on in the OPs case, but I read her two other posts and she and my sister could easily be cut from the same cloth.

What I Think said...

Hey there,

Well, I remember your other two posts. It does sound like an especially cliquey and unfriendly group of younger women in that day care.

I remember working at places before where someone who was older or different was seen as a bad employee, or difficult in some way. I can't believe you were actually fired over it. But I think this can happen when the person in charge feels like everyone isn't getting along well. It's pretty unprofessional of them and from what you have shared in the past, it doesn't sound like they are doing the best job with the kids.

I understand not wanting to work in the day care. But you have also said before that you have problems communicating with parents when you go to nanny job interviews.

You are going to have to work with a career center or a professional who can help you with your communication skills. You are going to have to learn to communicate with the parents you work for, though surely they will be much better people.