Tuesday

Care dot com asks you to purchase "credits" to apply to jobs?! OUTRAGED!

Hi! Thanks for keeping your blog going. There was something I wanted to bring to your attention (that I'm sure other nannies are aware of, as many of us use Care dot com). Well "Care" started this new system several months ago, allowing parents the option to have their job posting require "credits" to apply. It does narrow the posting to only 5 candidates (lessening competition in theory), but otherwise, this has no benefit to the providers or families. It is simply a greedy move on Care's part. And it disgusts me.

The credits are fairly expensive and expire after 90 days. They are even sold in uneven amounts, so that it would be impossible to use up all your credits without purchasing more! (The application rate I've seen is "4 credits" -- for now!) Not only is it ridiculous to have to PAY to apply for a job (or in this case, even just ask clarifying questions about the posting!), but I think it must be illegal! This discriminates against job seekers who can't afford the credits. (And yes, there are some jobs that are still free to apply to, but they are few and far between. And Care puts the "apply with 4 credits" jobs first in the list when you search.)

I held off as long as I could in buying credits myself, but Care is still the best place for me to find nanny jobs online (in my area, anyway). So eventually I broke down and bought some. It looks like it may actually lead to a job offer, but I'm still pissed. $19 to apply to 6 jobs?! Ridiculous!

I've been waiting for someone to post about how awful this is online somewhere, but haven't see anything. So I thought I might as be the one to blow the whistle on this discriminatory practice.

Please keep this post anonymous, as I know Care dot com happily deletes members who complain!

How to give notice?

Question about how to quit: I've been working for this family for literally ONE month and I've already lost interest with this position. Here's why. I'm a college student and recently found out that this is my last year. My student account showed that I had a certain amount of credit hours left to earn (at least 2 years worth left), it hadn't been updated. Had I known this one month ago, I would have never taken this position. With the finish line a few months away, I'd really like to embrace this year by challenging myself in academic competitions and enjoying myself in musicals/plays. I've worked my way through school and I don't want to look back regretting anything. On top of that and on a more serious note, I need to gain experience within my field (not childcare related).

So far, the family has been great, but I'm uninterested and eventually, they'll notice. I need to leave before that point, but not sure how to go about it. I've read previous posts regarding giving notice versus not giving notice, but still unsure of what to do.

Thankfully, I do have other sources of income with jobs where I'm able to make my own schedule.

Any advice will be appreciated!
Thanks!!

How do I bring this up? Help needed please!

I have an issue at work that I would like to speak to my bosses about- I am not sure how to address it. I care for their almost 2 1/2 year old boy who will become a big brother soon (mom is currently about 28 weeks) Mom informed me that her mom and sister (who is also pregnant) are coming to visit month of October (while dad is away on business.) I have been with family for almost 2 years and whenever family or friends come for a visit- I get time off/ no pay. I can't go a full month with no pay.

Also I was also informed that I would be caring for C (my current charge) OR the baby- in terms of C going out to activities or when he starts pre school in fall. Baby will not going out of house dyring cold season. That I understand. No raise has even been talked about yet- is it appropriate for me to bring up first? How do I address it?

sad sighting at the park

My charge and I were at the park yesterday when I I witnessed something incredibility sad. I saw a 3 to 4 year old girl playing in the sand box and walking around aimlessly around. Her parents (I know as the little girl called the lady mom). Her parents sat on a bench and just didn't move from that spot the entire time. They thought their phones were more important. The little girl pleaded to her mom "come play with me! Come play mom" She sighed and acted like she had been though this hundreds of times before. I could not stand it anymore. We (my charge and I) were already digging holes and making tracks (with his trains) in the sand and I asked the little girl if she wanted to play with us. She greatly accepted. My charge then wanted to play on the playground equipment The little girl looked sad- wondering if she could come with us. I looked at mom who just nodded. So I took her daughter's hand and ran her through the playground and pushed her on the swing. I have to give some correct to mom as she did get off the bench for 5 maybe 10 minutes to come over and say hi. dad never moved. I usually don't say something like this- but parents need to work on their diet. They were massive Obese. They need to wake up and see what their daughter sees. They need to be involved more. I actually had other parents/caregivers come up to me and say Thank you for making that child's day. She was sad when it was time to go home.

7 easy art projects for Preschoolers

http://www.popsugar.com/moms/7-Easy-Art-Projects-Young-Kids-27330689


Bad Nanny sighting - Playground at 63rd and west end avenue, New York City 8/19 3:30pm.

This nanny is totally crazy. Beyond screaming at a boy that she was with (probably her nanny friend's kid) that he was "a mean boy", she them verbally accosted me even though my son had literally zero interaction with the kids she was with. Unfortunately, I could not understand what she was carrying on about.


Friday

Had Enough Of Summer Camp (from Diana H )

I don't know if this is a rant or what but here goes -

My nanny family does not need me in the summer so I got a job as a counselor for a summer day camp. The head counselors decided I was very patient and assigned me the youngest group 4-6 years with a few 3 years old. Wow it was hard on these kids - the camp time wise catered to the older kids which would result in for instance the 3 year old having to STRIVE  to keep up physically for example running to lunch after swimming.

This one little girl I felt bad for - I will call her Annie ( not her name). The experience of the camp was overwhelming for her in many ways. She was not social, could not make friends, was overweight to a degree that caused her delays, - and sad. I would get her to sit in my lap and try to guide her and hold her hand specially, but as an example of what I went thru--

After swimming the locker room would be a mad house with kids running everywhere and the 3-5 year olds would be struggling to get their shoes on etc. Annie, for 3 days would go in to a state - just sitting cross-legged staring as kids whizzed by her, in front, back.This resulted in us getting in trouble being late to lunch.  So- I made an executive decision - I got Annie out of the pool 5 minutes early so she could get dressed without other kids crowding her - it worked ! I felt like Dr Phil or something. Then after 3 days of that Annie looked at me very seriously and said " If you let me stay in the pool I will get dressed quick" That was fine by me and it worked!

So - meeting the parents - Annie's mom comes up to me, " Are you the one preventing my daughter from swimming?"

I painstakingly explained the above to not very gracious attitude and then her mom says " She hates it here, I have to make her go each day and her face is sad"  I said " Well, summer camp is a challenge for all kids - it's very hot, they are away from their parents, they have to be independent and follow a schedule. It would be easier to be in their own room with AC and their toys but then they would not learn and grow blah blah "  Devil Eyes to me.

The entire day was filled with similar things like that with that one standing out. Nanny Family i love you and will gratefully see you in a couple days !!! Any comments would be welcome - was I remiss?





Thursday

Overnight rate question

I am a very experienced nanny, I have been in the biz for 10 years but I have never encountered this situation before so I'm hoping for some advice.

I nanny full time for 3 kids aged 6, 3, & 10 months. I work only 4 days a week but about 42-44 hours in total. My family pays me hourly. Our contract states that they will provide me with 52 weeks of income a year and in exchange I do 10 hours of free babysitting a month. (They pay me OT the weeks I go over). They are a super family and I love working for them.

We had a miscommunication though recently. At the beginning of my time with them I was told I would have a specific week off (for them to travel as a family). I naturally made plans. A couple weeks ago I was asked by the mom if I could work that week as they are no longer taking a family trip, only a couples trip. I remarked no, that I had plans, but agreed to do a couple nights over the weekend before to help out until the grandparents could arrive. Now I find out its 3 nights, about 72 hours in total. And using 4 of my initial days off. I typically charge $100 a night, for 12 hours and my day rate during the day for the other 12. The baby doesn't always sleep through the night though so I'm considering bumping that to $125. Is this a fair price? We are looking at over a thousand dollars. I'm honestly a little annoyed that it's eating into my time and now I don't have a day off in between so I'll be doing 8 days straight the last 3, 24 hrs a day. My nanny friends assure me yes, I'm well worth the $, and I'm doing them a favor. Should I just pull the trigger? Send them the estimate?

Qurestioning the Nanny's Day

If you were the new nanny for a family thus replacing the old nanny, or if you were the teacher of a child in your class who attended school part time and spent the rest of the week at home with the nanny, at what point would you question what the nanny is doing with the child during the day and/or her work ethic? Work ethic may not be the right thing to say, but you know what I mean.

Let phrase it like this: if you replaced the nanny after she worked for them for two years or if the child in your class was 2 years old and the nanny has been with the family for two years, when do you question what the nanny does during the nanny, and how would you bring it up to the child's parents about what you observe at school?

Of course being at home with the nanny and being at school are different-all of us know that. This child I am speaking of is 2, attends school part time, and has a nanny at home. The nanny is home with the younger sibling (about 14 months old) and the child attends two days per week. And he is a handful. An older sibling has autism and is non verbal, and M is concerned that the 2 year old may be on the spectrum due to lack of eye contact. He has gotten better since he has been there for nearly two months, but I question exactly what the nanny has done with him in terms of child guidance for the last two years and what she does with him now. I ask this because he doesn't listen, and he doesn't seem to understand the word no. For example, he was asked to sit down at the table for breakfast. We set him down at the table and the minute our backs were turned, he is playing in the block center. One of us was talking to a parent and the other one was doing something else-he got up again and went back to the block center. At that point he was told he could not play in the block center in a firm but gentle voice, and he was given the choice of sitting at the table or sitting on the floor, but he was not playing. He shouted no, shouted more at us, and started crying. Our sink is next to the counter and at the end of the counter we have post its, timer, bell, and a cup of pens which contain scissors. (The cup is a bit far of the reach of the children while on the step stool) This child got onto the stool and grabbed something off the counter. He has been known to climb furniture and open the classroom doors. He puts food into his mouth, spits it out onto his plate during meals and then eats it again. The other day he spit on another child after the child asked him to stop bothering her.

To put it this way: if there was a knife on the table, he'd play with it. He simply knows no boundaries. If we are alone meaning we have enough children for one teacher, this child has to be holding a teacher's hand at all times, or with a teacher in the bathroom during diaper changes because he gets into everything. If we tell him not to touch something, he does it anyway, and he doesn't understand he cannot touch that. Of course a 2 year old is going to touch everything, and of course they may not listen, For the most part, our class of 2's (we have nine 2's) listen pretty well and not one of them is like this child.

The child is very sweet, but to be honest, he stresses us out. It's like having a one year old in the classroom. M and D are very sweet as well. I'm just not sure how to bring up the fact their child doesn't listen and my question about what the nanny teaches him to them, because I feel like the nanny not is doing anything. Climbing furniture? Tell him to keep feet on the floor. Spitting out food onto his plate? Take his plate away. Touching things he shouldn't touch? Teach him not to do that. Teach him how to listen.

Of course one part of me is wondering if it's special needs, the part of the nanny or both...

Tuesday

Question For Nannies..

I am a 28-year-old nanny of a 6-month-old baby girl. Mom works from home which was something we discussed during the interview (obviously). She is very laid back, but is also type A...I know, I didn't think that type of person existed either. Anyway, it all started off great and I'm coming up on my third month with them, but certain frustrations have started to set in.

first of all, the mother is a naturally noisy and loud person. She is seemingly unaware of how much noise she makes while working in her office, and that it is clearly disrupting her baby's naps. Conference calls, the printer (which is already loud) constantly going, mom randomly banging around in drawers and such is all causing this disruption. ive tried hinting that noise is the issue by closing the baby's door about 3/4 of the way, but mom will remains clueless and doesn't even try to bring the noise level down or even shut her own door.

She claims she can't figure out why the baby isn't napping past 15 or 30 minutes (she wakes up clearly exhausted still but can't fall back asleep because of....noise), and genuinely seems clueless. I can see the issue clear as day, but my suggestions for possibly utilizing a white noise machine has been met with resistance because "I want her to be able to sleep through anything. I don't want her to get used to something and then we have to take it everywhere with us just for her to sleep." It's a sucky excuse seeing that white noise machines today are smaller and more portable than ever (I have one myself that I take everywhere), but whatever. She's the parent and I'm being paid to do what she asks, so I didn't argue. However, even closing both of their doors would make such a huge difference but she mentioned something about the air flow in the rooms being cut off.

Because of all of this, I'm the one left with a cranky, overtired baby. It's getting to the point where I dread coming to work because I know half the day is going to be spent trying to get the baby down for nap only to have her wake 15 minutes in, exhausted. When mom has to leave during the day some days, the baby sleeps for up to 2 hours on a good day which solidifies my belief that the noise is the issue here. I reached my patience limit today when mom suggested that maybe I hold the baby for the duration of the baby's naps from here on out. If it does come to that, I will refuse and will look for another job as that would cause a myriad of other problems and no nanny that I know of wants to deal with trying to break the baby's dependence when it comes to being held during sleep. That's craziness in my opinion, so my question to everyone is, how would you go about bringing the noise thing to mom's attention without coming across as rude or mean? She is a first time mom so I knew it would be a little tough going into it, I just didn't expect something so simple to be so hard to understand for a parent. It's common sense to eliminate noise when a baby is napping (I would think, but apparently not..). I'm afraid that as cool as mom is otherwise, she will take it personally if I tell her that basically she is causing all of this.

Questions for readers:

Monday is around the corner (yikes) and for me, things could stay the same or they could change in a matter of a week. If they stay the same, I have to deal with a person I no longer care to deal with, and should things change, I am nervous and filled with anxiety about the change. According to my boss, there is a possibility things could stay the same, and there is a possibility they could change.

The issue is with my co teacher. I do like her, but I'm starting to see her differently. She does a great job, however, she needs to think about certain things: like for example, when a new child in our class cries because it is time to lay on their mat for naptime, rocking them and giving them a nuk because they are crying is not going to help them. Furthermore, letting that child keep her nuk all day, especially after MB asked us not to give it to her is not going to help the transition into the classroom. Secondly, if a staff member is having an issue with another child, step in and help the staff member, or if the child is running around the classroom, trying to climb tables, etc. ask them to stop. I'll be honest here: the children DO NOT listen to her at times. There's times they don't listen to me either, but I know she means well while working with the children. I just don't believe that being in a classroom is right for her, and believe that a support staff position is a better fit.

Then there's the issue of maturity, and what happened last week. My boss was not happy, my directors weren't happy, and I wasn't happy. A family vacation was planned and they wanted Thursday and Friday off last week, as they were leaving last Wednesday. Two of the sisters were wait listed forThursday, and all three, including myself, were wait listed Friday. To be wait listed means that you have to show up for work and if you can have the day off based on call ins, numbers, etc. then you have the day off. If not, then there's nothing administration can do about it. It does stink to be wait listed and not given the day off, but life happens. Knowing they were wait listed, I asked my co teacher if she had to work on Friday. She told me she didn't now, and that she had to find out. I asked her when she was leaving. She told me they were leaving on Wednesday after work.

This whole thing was planned. They planned to call in on Thursday and Friday, and that they did. And is was crazy staffing, due to the fact that we had a few college students leave already, so we are short staffed until the 15th, when the new staff start.

Monday I asked my director if she had a lesson plan from my co teacher, and the answer was no. I reminded my co teacher she needed to plan and prep that lesson plan prior to leaving, because when she came back, it would be her week. Nothing was completed, so my director had to take time out of her day to create a lesson plan.

She comes back on Monday, from what I heard. but I also heard otherwise. If she does come back, how do I interact with her? I'm not happy with what she did, and I feel like she should be demoted to support staff for that, because it could happen again. Her younger sister posted something on her FB page about how she quit the company, management was rude, and other stuff that had two parents in my classroom concerned, along with other parents. She also mentioned that her sisters would be quitting too. A lot of teachers are not happy with my co teacher or her sisters.

If I get a new co teacher, I'm very skeptical, because the first co teacher I had in this classroom was lazy, inexperienced and very green. She also walked out after five weeks with me, and she was there for two weeks before working with me.

Monday Monday....How I dread that day.

Chicago Bad Nanny Sighting

Bad nanny sighting in Chicago. August 4, Brentano school playground, around 11:00 am. This nanny had a toddler strapped in his stroller, totally ignoring him while she looked at her phone. He was strapped in there, clearly reaching out and wanting to be let loose to play. She ignored him aggressively. It was hard to watch. The poor kid was parked in the 90 plus degree heat for almost an hour while I played with my kids. I wanted to say something but she was very unnapproachable. She had a demeanor of not caring at all about this poor child. Very sad. Took pic from a distance but if you zoom you can see her somewhat.


Friday

Mom Busts Two Nannies At Dairy Ashford Roller Rink Houston Tx

My mom sensors went up when I saw a man without children befriending a group of kids. I saw him walking away from the rink with them towards the bathroom. I took pictures and found out the kids were with 2 nannies who were chatting and relaxing completely unaware of what the kids were doing. I had words with the nannies who then left with the children. The management was very helpful and concerned and will watch out for this guy and take suggestions. The mothers need to know about this - please contact me with any info.

Note from editor: I know this rink, it's a major icon in the neighborhood and the owners and neighbors are awesome humans. If there really is a bad guy there, he better run for the hills!!



Thursday

Playground Rant...

I just wanted to rant a little bit about what happened today at the playground. I'm a nanny to 2 year old twins, and during the summer we are on the playground every day. Today, one of my charges was playing with another kiddo, that I'm guessing is similar age as he moved very alike (the unmistakable 2 year old half-running-half-waddling), and was similar size to my charge. My charge was yelling "I catch you!" at the other kid, they laughed, they would stop and giggle, and then the other would start the chasing. This went for a while, while the other kiddo's mother was clearly busy on her phone, and not paying attention. Since my other charge was happy to stand beside me and laugh at their antics, I had no problem watching all 3 kids. As with all toddlers, the laughing and running ended with a fall. My charge run into the other kiddo, and they both tumbled. I got in there to make sure everything is fine, and they were both still laughing. My charge had a skinned knee, while the other kid, scratched nose. As I was helping both of them back to their feet, my charge started yelling again 'I catch you' clearly wanting to restart the game. At this time, the mother seems to have looked up from her phone, and started running towards us and screaming 'what happened, what happened'. As soon as she saw her kiddo, she started yelling 'Oh God, Oh God he's hurt, he's too young to understand!' clearly very upset. All her screaming upset both my charge, and her kid. Her kid started to cry, and my charge started to say "Luke did hurt.." clearly getting very upset, and nearly plastered to my knee. My other charge was also getting scared, and starting to cry. I started to say to the mother that they were just playing and having fun, but the mother was getting more and more freaked out. I started to console both my charges that everything is fine, and that they didn't do anything wrong, which seemed to have enraged the mother even more. Finally I snapped at her that perhaps she should be paying attention to her kid if she doesn't want him running, while taking both kids away from her. She fumed for a bit and then left the playground.
I absolutely hate those kind of parents/guardians on the playground, a weird hybrid of overprotective with too busy to pay attention. While I don't like my charges getting hurt, I let them run, climb, play with other kids, and such, because I want them to grow up independent and confident. If they fall, I get them up, and after a quick hug or a kiss to owie, I set them to play again. If there's blood, we simply go to clean it up and then with 'let's be more careful, ok?', I set them off. My charges know to stay away from swings, share toys, play hide and seek, it, play ball with others, climb ladders and tall slides, push marry-go-round, etc. When another child plays to roughly with any of my charges or the other way around, I correct them with a smile by saying things like 'how about we do it a little slower' or 'let's let the big/other kids play on this', 'let's be very gentle with the baby' or 'it's for big girls/boys'.
Has anyone had a bad experience on a playground too? What is your worst pet peeve when it comes to playgrounds?


Tuesday

Best Way to choose?

What is the best way to choose a good nanny agency. I live in NY. Do you use the old companies-the ones that's been here for years like "A choice Nanny." Or do you go to what looks like a new one that's ran by a former Nanny- Tiny Treasures NYC or do you just sign up for all of them. I just want someone who will look out for my best interest. Would love any advice you guys have.

Trust and Payments

Whatever happen to wives trusting their husbands? Or should I ask why can't husbands take care of there own kids? Yes, funny question from a Nanny who wants to make money and loves kids, but I do have a family of my own I'd like to spend time with at night. So here is the situation: I have interviewed with 4 families that the husband gets home 2 or 3 hours before the mom , but mom makes it clear that dad doesn't do well with the kids by himself!( trust issue) Ok one incident was dad was going thru some sort of depression I get that, but the other 3 were clearly, that dad needs to man up & be a dad. I could see maybe stay for an hour so he could shower & unwind or go workout also could see if he had extra work to do around home then I'd get it. But one just seems kind of creepy to me & 2 be a dad spend some quality time with your kids, so I can spend some quality time with mine. No I didn't accept any of the positions... Just wanted to put it out there is this really normal...I've been a nanny for over 15 years and have never run into this until now like with in the last year.

Now to the question of payment: I have been using care.com to look for nanny positions, for one ,the area we live in is not very nanny oriented so they do not pay well and you may as well forget about benefits, anyway the family looking for a a nanny will post $10-$15 per hour (yikes I made $15 p/h when I left a position in the same area almost 15 years ago) so you go to interview with them all goes well till the topic of payments comes up knowing that when they post $10-$15 you might be able to negotiate $12.50-$13.00, Nope they treat you like you are nuts for even thinking that they would pay anywhere near $15, much less $10,and they want to hang up ,phone interview comes to an end. Just drives me nuts when they post a certain amount of hours or a price that they have no intention of abiding by! It's such a waste of my time!!!!