Appleseeds - NY, NY

I have seen this go on too long and I feel like I have to say something. Every afternoon, I take my toddler to Appleseeds to met up and play with his grandmother. While the two of them are having a grand old time, I am able to look around and observe the nannies who are there with their wards. Some are very loving and engaged, but many are just sitting and socializing. The worst of them all is this one nanny who completely ignores the two boys she is there with every day, to the point that the younger one is constantly getting into fights with other kids and menacing them.

Your two boys are adorable, huge brown eyes, cute brown hair, very active; the younger one (around age 2.5) has an adorable mop of lighter brown curls and his older brother (maybe 5 yrs old? He is tall) has sleek dark hair in a stylish, longer blunt cut. Your nanny is overweight and of south Asian ethnicity. She was wearing a purple and lilac striped cardigan this past Monday, and a mustard colored top on Tuesday. I forget what she wore yesterday -- sorry -- but it was a travesty that she had the two kids locked up inside Appleseeds when it was almost 60F outside and everyone was at the park (we came into Appleseeds just to wash our hands and do a diaper change -- the place was almost deserted).

Your nanny is always just sitting in one corner or along one wall, talking with other nannies or staring off into space. Your youngest one got into a huge fight with another kid yesterday and the Appleseeds staff had to intervene. She had no idea what was going on because she was in a completely different room from him and he was in tears in the other room! I can understand that she can't keep an eye on both boys at once, since they are all over the place at this age, but she really should keep better tabs on the younger one since the older one can handle himself pretty well (he is rambunctious, but not a danger to other kids); your younger one, however, I have seen start several fights and he is always grabbing toys away from other kids. I have observed this here and there for well over a month, but since I started going to Appleseeds every day at 4p two weeks ago, I have been able to observe your nanny's behavior being this way day in and day out. Yes, lots of nannys just sit along the wall and talk to each other, with no idea of where their ward has gone; she, however, is the worst offender in terms of completely ignoring the kids she's supposed to be taking care of. Mind you, her behavior is also breaking Appleseed rules.

I hope that this reaches the parents of those two handsome little boys. It would be a shame if they, or some other kids, got hurt because of this nanny's negligence. I also don't see why she doesn't let them play outside on an afternoon when it is so beautiful. Today (Thursday, March 8th) is supposed to be 60F outside and if I see her with those two kids locked up inside Appleseeds again, I feel like I should say something to the staff about informing their parents about this nanny.

Incognito

Is anyone ever concerned that their nanny/employer will see the posts they put up? I know its a long shot, even if you post it anonymously and change some key aspects of your story, but has anyone ever run into this problem?? I'd love to hear your experiences!

Voracious Reader Bookstore - Larchmont, NY

I'm a local business owner in Larchmont, NY. A couple of times a week I see this hispanic (mexican) nanny pushing a stroller down the street with a little girl in it. She is about 2 years old, caucasian. The nanny has brown hair which appears to have been colored that way. The poor child cries uncontrollably the entire time while the nanny talks away on her phone. The little girls face is beet red and it's heart breaking. They appear to be going to the Voracious Reader bookstore. (Today is Monday, March 5). If I see her on the way I am going to ask for your number, although I doubt she'll give it.

MB Wants to Gently Convey Grievances

hello fellow nanny and employers of ISYN! i suppose i just need a tad bit of advice on a current nanny i am employing for my 2 year old son. she has been working for us for almost a year now. she is part time and only comes 3 or 4 days a week, anywhere from 5 to 10 hours a day. she is generally very pleasant and interacts well with my child but some things bother me. for example, this week my child has had a mild cold and i asked my nanny to wash every toy he plays with in a combination of water and bleach to disinfect his germs. i'm almost positive she either didn't do it at all, or missed about 6 or 7 toys? also, my child is allowed to have a small dessert after dinner, but she gave him one oreo instead of his usual scoop or two of ice cream. this poses a problem because, in my household, oreos are saved as "treats" to encourage going on the potty, following directions, etc. also, she encourages my son to help her clean the playroom before his nap, which i suppose i just don't agree with. he eventually does help her clean the room, but for the first 5 minutes he quite detests it and asks her to clean it up. he is only 2, i feel that is a little young to begin teaching a child how to clean up? how do i go about bringing up my grievances without sounding like a total type a mom?

Done and Done!

I need opinions on my situation. Background: I am in my mid-twenties, have a bachelor’s in elementary education, 3 years experience as a lifeguard (taught swim lessons), know an extensive amount of baby signs (took ASL classes for fun), 1 year experience as a camp counselor, have clearances for working with children (state law) and 5+ years as a babysitter. I would say I have experience working with children.

Family: Dad (works) and Mom (stay at home mom) and their 4 children (8 yrs, 4 yrs, 3 yrs, and 4 months) I have been with this family for over 2 years.

Problem: Where do I start? I liked this family when I started... then it turned ugly.
1. Parenting style is too permissive. There is a counting system with time-outs, but it is not utilized enough.
2. Children whine allllllllll day long. I am not exaggerating. The 3 year old doesn’t just whine either, he screams at the top of his lungs until he makes himself gag. This will be over things like not letting him have a cookie (which his mom doesn’t want me to give him, but it’s okay if she gives him one).
3. Children do not know how to play by themselves. With a “No TV” rule while I am there, this exhausts me as a nanny. I have to entertain them the full 8 hours I am there. BTW, when I step out the door, mom turns on the TV immediately.
4. Mom is at home all day (minus running errands). We all know the down side to that. Looking over my shoulder the whole time and giving me suggestions on how to play with her kids.
5. When they “play games” it’s really them playing for 5 minutes and then throwing the pieces. I cannot get mad at them for throwing pieces because the mom thinks “it’s just them being kids”.
6. The mother does not play with her children. I think I have seen her on the ground playing maybe a total of 10 times since I have worked for her. Although I know they hired me to play with their kids and to be at home while the young ones took naps and the mom ran errands, it still blows my mind that the mom does not play with her children more.
7. I didn’t want to drive the kids around. Personally, it’s a liability issue for me. Not to mention, gas is not cheap. Now she wants me to drive them everywhere.
8. The mom just recently started giving her 3 year old melatonin to help him sleep at night. Is that normal?
9. NO SCHEDULE! I worked 40 hour weeks not knowing my hours until the week I worked (sometimes the day before). I am a flexible person, but really!? Also, constantly she asked for me to stay a little longer on days.
10. The 8 year old can’t wipe herself after going #2 on the potty. She is a normal, healthy child. Mom doesn't want her to wipe, I have to wipe or the mom has to.
11. 4 year old and 8 yr old talk to me in a disrespectful manner. “Ugggh! You did it wrong!”, “Get this, get that!", "Go away!"
12. The dad is socially awkward and has said rude things to me before.

After dealing with all this craziness: I wanted to quit a year ago. The mom wanted me to phase out and another nanny to phase in. I thought “sure! No problem. I can work a month more while you find someone”. Well it never happened. She never found anyone else. Then she found someone else (by bargaining with one of her friends who had a sitter). As a side note, this sitter also thinks this family is nuts. Then she still wanted me to work once a week. Does she not know what quit means? I finally said, “It’s never a good time to tell you this because I know you are busy (she is a stay at home mom with a nanny, come on!). I am done. Today is my 2 weeks notice. After those 2 weeks, I will be done.” She became passive aggressive and started slamming doors and not talking to me. Now she wrote me an e-mail saying how she was appalled by my behavior, like I was the one slamming doors. The e-mail contained more personal jabs at my character.

After all I have done and put up with! I have always shown up to work on time, I have said 95% yes to days when she asks me to work last minute (only declining because of appointments or sickness). I parent her children how she wants me to parent (even though I disagree with the style). Although I have listed all negative things in this post, there have been positive experiences I have had in these past 2 years with this family. However, if I look at it as a whole… I believe the negative outweighs the positive.

After the e-mail the mom sent, I am SO done. I still have one more day left and apparently she is getting a good-bye cake. Would it be bad if I didn’t show up? Thanks, SO totally done!

How do I Depart Without Pissing Off the Parents?

Hi! I'm a nanny in a large city. I have been working for my current family for 6 months. I've always thought I would be a career nanny. I am able to support myself just fine, however after doing a lot of thinking, I have decided that I want to go back to school for my RN (nursing) and eventually work in pediatrics. The family wants a commitment of at least a year from me. My problem is that nursing classes start in August. I need to complete a few prereques (anatomy, physiology and medical math). These classes begin at the beginning of May and overlap with my job. I do not have a contract, so they cannot hold me to working a year for them. How can I give notice without them being so po'd they won't give me a reference? I've never quit a job before so I'm a little nervous, especially since MB and DB are a little intense. Thank you!

Sick of Being Sick

So I've been working for a wonderful family for almost two years now and I can't stop getting sick! They are so nice about it. They pay me for all the time off, call to see if I need anything, and have the kids make me get well cards! I'm not the type to just call in with a cold, and I've gone into work pretty sick. Their kids are always sick too, and I know I'm picking up a lot from them. I just feel so bad for not only the parents, but for the kids. I'm home today with a stomach bug when we were supposed to have a playdate and go to pizza hut with friends. This is something they've been waiting for for weeks!

Before working for this family, I was with a family for 5 years and could count on one hand how many times I was sick with them! I don't know what's happening to me. I've lost count of how many days I've been off this year, but I'm guessing around 7 or 8. Any ideas on what I could do to make it up to the whole family? I've offered free babysitting time and time again and they won't take me up on it, so I need some other creative ideas. Thanks! :)

Celeb Nannies

How do people score gigs with celebs?? Seriously. Do you need to work for an agency? I'm sure you can't flip open the Sunday paper and BAM! There's Brad and Ang looking for a new sitter for their brood. I have serious job envy (although I'm quite sure that some celebs are complete nutters to work for...!) Does anyone work for an elite family? If so, how did you score your gig?

By the Book

Is it ok to see if a family will pay on the books prior to an interview? I'm talking about exchanging emails. I'd rather not go on an interview only to find out they want to pay under the table. Waste of gas to me. I want to be on the books because I need a record of employment to file for student aid.

Good Night

Newborn night nannies: Tell me your experiences, do you work through an agency/service or on your own? How do you advertise? How do you handle taxes?

Insufficient Funds

Hi everyone... So let me explain my situation. I've been working for this family for about a year and a half and I really enjoy this job and the kids. However within the last couple of days, some things have caught my attention. Yesterday I learned that the paycheck I deposited over the weekend bounced, leaving me in the negative. Then, while I was at the house getting ready to pick up my charges from school, one of the many services that my bosses hire came to the house to let us know that the most recent credit card payment my bosses made had been declined.

Also, on my first day of work this week my boss told me that I would need to use my car for the time being to pick up the children because the car they let me use was being serviced. However, yesterday when I had some alone time with one of my charges he informed me that over the weekend a tow truck came and took the car away, and how his mom had argued with the tow truck guy. Therefore, I'm pretty sure the car is not being serviced. Later in the evening I asked my boss when the car would be back (I'm not really supposed to use my car for work purposes) and she quickly responded "I don't know". Then while (I thought) my charges were distracted I quickly mentioned how I was informed that their credit card had been declined. Immediately, the oldest boy, who has a knack for "overhearing" things, chimed in and said "yea mom, I tried to order something the other day but it said that your card had been declined." Boss Mom replied "oh, I have to check which card is on file, it was probably the expired one," and the boy said "No, I checked, it definitely wasn't the expired one," and then Boss Mom tried to change the subject.

I haven't mentioned the bounced check to her yet because I'd rather do it in person and when my charges are not around. I know it may be just my imagination, but part of me is very concerned. She has her own business but I know that it hasn't been doing too well lately. I just get confused because I'm pretty sure her husband is doing very well financially. Should I be concerned? Should I look for a new job? Thanks!

Is This Considered Job Creep?

I was wondering if you think this is right. So i was a live-in nanny until the wife left 2 days after i was here. So now the man that hired me said i can stay and he will pay basic necessities, food, and everything else i need... as long as i clean and do laundry and cook dinner and give him a massage once a week. Nothing nasty or like that just back, legs, and arms. I was wondering if you thought that was okay? is there anything to be ashamed of? oh btw, hes not naked.

The Cost of Flexibility and Being Paid your Worth

I am a part time nanny in a large metropolitan area (about 14 hours per week). I began my employment by watching one of two children when she got off of school (pick her up, bring her home, make lunch, etc). I also take her to gymnastics class, swimming lessons, and regular outings to parks, etc. I am paid 12/hr, and thought that was fairly reasonable for this area (I usually get around 15 for less regular babysitting). I was assured I would have time for homework during her nap time, and they would appreciate me helping around the house. I also began watching her brother (alone), but sometimes I have to watch them together when there are school holidays. This was not discussed prior to employment, but just assumed I would charge the same rate. Should I charge more for days when I watch both children?

Also, chore requests (sometimes demands) have been creeping on the to-do list, including vacuuming and mopping the floors, doing laundry, taking out the trash, completely re-organizing the kids’ room, and doing all the dishes (including scrubbing the pot from the family’s breakfast caked in burnt oatmeal). I feel like some of these demands are outside the scope of what a part time nanny should do, and outside what we initially agreed upon. I appreciate the flexibility they allow me (to run short errands I have when I pick their child up from school, use their washing machine occasionally), but I wonder at what cost this flexibility comes? Also, the child has recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism, which explains the heightened attention she needs, but now I am required to read material and watch DVD’s about how to understand how to best interact with the child. I completely understand this need, but it leaves me with little time to do chores, and my employer is beginning to express disappointment with me if I have not done everything.

Finally, my employer has frequently shown up late with little to no notice, making me late to class (I am a grad student) or having to cancel yoga classes I was signed up to attend. I am more worried the situation will get worse if I do not address it quickly. I am glad to help out when I can, but do not want to be taken advantage of. Which things should I charge more for or should I just say they are outside my responsibility? Would love any advice you have!

Relatively Speaking

I wanted to get this out there, and get some opinions from both nannies and parents. How do you deal with friends or relatives visiting and staying in the house while the nanny is working? In my opinion as a nanny, this is absolutely intolerable for more than a day or two. Having relatives around while I am trying to take care of the kids is so difficult. I have dealt with relatives before, mostly grandparents, and it is a nightmare! Here are some examples of the problems that come up:

- Some relatives, grandmothers in particular, can feel jealous of a nanny. They are blood relatives, but they don't see the child anywhere near as often as the nanny, so of course the child feels closer to the nanny. I had one grandma who visited for weeks but never played with her granddaughter, she just sat and watched soap operas. The little girl and I mostly went to the park, did arts and crafts, and played silly games. Grandma couldn't understand why her granddaughter wanted to be with me and not her, she was just furious.
- Grandparents like to spoil their grandchildren. Sometimes Mom can leave very specific instructions for the nanny, and Grandma will totally derail them. For example, Mom wants her child to have a sandwich for lunch, and no sweets. Grandma says he can have candy if he doesn't want his sandwich. What is the nanny supposed to do then? Have an argument with Grandma right in front of the child, or disregard Mom's wishes? Nanny is screwed either way.
- Even if the grandparents don't get jealous, and doesn't interfere, sometimes just having another adult around can be incredibly annoying. Some of us nannies are introverts, who relate fantastically to children, but feel uncomfortable when forced to interact with unknown adults. I know I do! That is one of the most uncomfortable situations for me, having to make small talk with a stranger.

I am trying to look at this from all points of view, but I'll start with the nanny's since it is the most familiar! I think it shows an incredible amount of disrespect to a nanny to force this situation upon her. It is a trap, it seems like she either has to put up with an intolerable situation at work or leave her job. It seems that parents either don't realize how uncomfortable this can be, or they just don't care. It seems to me that they are not considering the feelings of their nanny at all. A nanny should not have to babysit your relatives, or entertain your guests.

I feel that if you have a nanny and you want to have relatives coming to town, you need to either:
- Make sure the relatives are out of the house the whole time the nanny is there.
- Have the nanny take the kids to her house while the relatives are in town.
- Give the nanny the time off (PAID) and let your relatives take the kids.
- Put the relatives up in a hotel and tell them not to come over while nanny is there.

OK, now I'm going to look at this from the parent's point of view:
- If they have someone come to visit, they aren't going to want to kick them out of the house for a large part of every day.
- The parents might not want the kid's at nanny's house, which is their right.
- Maybe the relatives don't want to spend their trip caring for the kids while nanny has paid time off.
- Why spend money for a hotel if they have a perfectly nice guest room?

Maybe the parents are extroverts, and have no concept of how immensely uncomfortable it can be for some of us to make small talk with strangers. Perhaps it isn't that they aren't considering the feelings of the nanny, maybe they honestly can't imagine she would have a problem. Maybe they think the guest will actually be. So what about the guests point of view? They may also feel uncomfortable having to deal with the nanny being in their way all day. If I went to visit someone and they had someone else in their house all day while they were gone I would be horribly uncomfortable, and pretty angry at whoever I was visiting. But at least the relatives can probably explain this to the parents, while a nanny usually can't. (unless you have one of those rare Nanny-MB relationships where you can actually talk about stuff without anyone getting angry!)

If I were the parent in this situation, I would make sure the nanny and my guests were never in the house together for longer than a few minutes. I feel like any other action would be disrespectful to my nanny and my guests. I wouldn't want either my relatives or a nanny who is helping raise my kids to feel uncomfortable in my house. As a nanny, I just want to avoid this situation whenever possible. Is there a way to get this out before getting hired? Do you bring it up when they tell you someone is coming to visit? Do you just have to suck it up and deal? What have other nannies done? I would love to hear the parents side of this, too. Thanks!

9:00 Monday morning, I raise my hand to knock on the door but MB opens it before I get the chance, Baby C in her arms. She asks me how my weekend was as I hang up my coat and kick off my shoes. We immediately begin chatting and she tells me that Baby C (10 weeks) turned over for the first time on Saturday. I smile and say “That’s wonderful!” I don’t burst her bubble and tell MB that she turned over for me on Friday, because I’d rather her think that she witnessed this milestone. We talk some more about Baby C’s sleeping schedule, which has been all out of whack lately because we’re trying to transition her from the bassinet to the crib. It has not gone smoothly, to say the least.

9:30 MB goes into her downstairs office to start work and I take Baby C upstairs to her room, making sure to take a bottle with us. I change her diaper and pick out an outfit for the day and then lay her down on her play mat, where she immediately starts smiling and batting at the hanging toys. I love watching her do this.

9:50 C is starting to tire out, so I feed her the bottle and lay her down in the crib, which she does not like and is not afraid to tell me about it. I turn on the sound machine and stroke her forehead and cheeks a little.

10:15 Baby C is asleep and in record time! I go downstairs and mouth “asleep” to MB through the office window and she does the “Yes!” fistpump. I wash out all the bottles in the sink and throw in a load of laundry. MB comes out and we talk for awhile.

10:40 We hear C start to cry over the monitor. Well, that nap didn’t last long. We both go upstairs and I change C’s diaper and MB takes her to nurse. I use the downtime to flip through a magazine.

11:15 I can tell Baby C is still tired and wonder if I can get her back to sleep. I hold her in the football hold, which is her favorite, and she hugs onto my arm with a death grip. I can never get over how cute that is. She is a bit gassy so I bounce her around for awhile, patting her back. She eventually spits up all over me and I am glad I had the hindsight to put a burp rag under her. (I swear I can hear devious laughter.) We walk around in the football hold awhile longer, and then I switch her over onto her back and start rocking her in the glider. She knows it is naptime and starts crying again…ok, maybe she doesn’t know it is naptime, but she isn’t too happy about it regardless.

12:10 Baby C is finally back to sleep and as soon as I lay her in her crib, she flails her arms around, her eyes pop open and she starts wailing again. I look longingly at the bassinet and curse the startle reflex for about the millionth time. But I pat her tummy a bit and she gets back to sleep within a few minutes.

12:20 I eat my lunch, wash dishes and fold up laundry. I also manage to check my email during this time.

1:00 Baby C is awake and hungry! I change her diaper and feed her a bottle, then lay her down on the play mat while I put her laundry away in her closet. Her closet is my domain, because I am super-anal about organizing it and MB is totally ok with that.

1:30 We come downstairs because I know MB will want to see her. MB holds Baby C while I wash out the bottle and comments that she still looks tired. I agree with her and say I’ll try again in awhile. MB doesn’t argue with me because she trusts my judgment. I put C in the swing, but she makes a face and looks away from the mobile. OK, try something else. I put her on a blanket on the floor with a toy but she is having none of that and starts crying. So I try old faithful and bounce her around in the football hold. She grabs onto my arm, as usual, and falls asleep almost immediately. I try laying her down in the pack ‘n play but she wakes up and starts crying. So we go upstairs for round three of trying to sleep in the crib.

2:00 Baby C is asleep after about 15 minutes of rocking in the glider and her kicking and fighting as hard as she could. But she exhausted herself so much that at least she didn’t wake back up when I laid her down in the crib. I come back downstairs and get on my laptop.

4:50 Baby C wakes up and I jokingly tell MB that C has perfect timing. I go get C, change her diaper and take her to MB. We are both thrilled that she took such a good nap, because it has been a couple of weeks since she’s done so. I gather my things and tell them goodbye.

In the Best Interest of a Child

Why have children? That is a question that I often ask myself when I deal with my current nanny situation on a day to day basis. Is it to adhere to a biological need, to satisfy your partner, or in the worst case situations, a 'mistake'. I am not sure which situation occurred to my employer, however, what I am sure of is that my employer is in no way, shape, or form ready for the the task of parenthood. I work only Monday-Friday but stress about the weekends because I know my charge has to spend them with DB, who is their primary custody parent. During this time my charge is often unbathed, eats take out food, watches plenty television etc. As a caregiver it is a hard position to be in as you care so much about the child however have no control over the matter.

During the week the DB does not clean up (dishes, personal laundry, kitchen messes, food, garbage removal) nor does DB get groceries even if a list is left... Yet time and time again, I notice that personal purchases are made (new video games, movies, adult beverages) etc. It puzzles me how one can go out and buy this, yet not ensure there is lunch/dinner options for the child on hand. My charge will go Friday-Monday with no bath, teeth maybe brushed (however, I know for a fact that there are times when this task isn't completed). Over the past years working in this situation, I have witnessed my charge throw up/or wet the bed on the weekend and the soiled sheets be sitting in the regular hamper with the rest of the week's laundry. The DB doesn't even have the basic knowledge to throw it in the washer and turn it on. I am not in charge of cleaning the DB's messes nor clothing, however, because I am at the house for a large portion of my life I get so disgusted and it begins to smell that I end up cleaning up after the DB all the time.

When the charge goes to their mother's residence they always smell of tobacco smoke, they seem to often have cough's, and I have mentioned to DB that I feel that MB is perhaps smoking around the child or that the situation is unclean/unhealthy for the child. The DB does not take action against MB and allows charge to still go there, regardless of the obvious health risk! I just sometimes wonder, what are parents thinking? I mean, its basic, have food for your child, keep yourself tidy/clean, keep your child/tidy clean, and ensure their safety, this is inclusive of health as well.

Another thing, when the holiday's come around, the DB does not invest in a Christmas tree, or other holiday decorations/activties, the DB has only this past year purchased gifts for the charge (bday-xmas). The DB has lived an extremely privileged life and in turn has no clue how the average person without 'Help' operates. Yes, I make great money, and have fantastic benefits. However, I am beginning to wonder, what happens when I leave [as that time is soon coming], then who will care for my charge and for sure they won't put up with half of the nonsense that I do.

On a final note, I am employed by a wealthy family member whom employs me as a favour to the family. Thus, I feel like a rock in a hard place, for if I say anything to my financial employers I may lose my job or cause tensions between myself, them, and the DB. I want to talk to the DB but he is not good with confrontation and will for sure take it the wrong way. How else can you state the above issues without causing tension? I really think that DB just wants me to watch the child, provide the best care, keep quiet about everything else, and mind my own business. But I feel that I am emotionally invested and am the only person who is honestly looking out for the best interests of the child. HELP!

Help Grandmother's Helper with Advice

I have a dilemma that I need to deal with and I really would appreciate any input from both parents and nannies. Okay, about two months ago, I accepted a job as a Grandmother's Helper. My job is to help a Grandmother care for her three small children, 2 infants and a preschooler. I initially interviewed with one of the daughters. She was very friendly and explained the job to me. It would be three days a week, for 8 hrs each and I would be basically an "extra set of hands" for the Grandmother (her mother.) We agreed I would be paid ten dollars an hr and that it would be strictly childcare ONLY... no household duties, which is great. I then met the Grandmother whom I hit it off with immediately and they even gave me a "working interview" for 6 hrs to see if this was something I wanted to do.

In a nutshell, they did everything right. They explained the job to me correctly, we agreed on pay and they stressed during the interview that it was important that I stick around to give the children some consistency. My problem? I hate the job!! I accepted it since I had been actively seeking a position for around eight months and was really behind in my bills. At the time, I was really desperate for any job so I accepted. I honestly thought I would like the job, etc. Why do I hate my job? It's tough working alongside a Grandmother who likes to be the Alpha at ALL times. If the toddler falls down and cries, the Grandmother gets upset at me for not "paying adequate attention to her." If the preschooler hurts the infant, I am again reprimanded for not doing my job again. I can't live with the anxiety of always being on edge... hoping the kids don't fall, or get in to anything they are not supposed to, etc... for if they do, it is ALL on me.

It has been getting worse and worse and I wish I could throw in the towel, but since they really wanted someone who could stick around, I feel guilty leaving after two months. But I dread going to work and hate being on edge all day hoping the kiddos don't get hurt. This Grandmother should realize that all children will fall when learning to walk and that siblings do fight. No matter how well you watch them, sometimes they are too quick. I am not a parent yet, however I have taken many child development courses and was taught this. I really want to quit this job, I have work on Tuesday (today is Monday) and I am tired of dreading going to work. It sucks. What should I do? Should I stick it out since they did everything right and I am the one in the wrong by changing my mind? Should I try talking to the daughter or Grandmother myself? Or should I just quit and move on since this anxiety is killing me? Thank you guys in advance for your advice. I will take it. I was also wondering if you thought ten dollars an hour was enough? Initially, I thought it would be okay... but after a looong day at work, feedings, changing diapers, playdates at the park, etc... I don't know if it is enough.

Special Preference

This is more for the parents, but do you consider a nanny's race when hiring? Would you prefer one racial background over another?

Paying Taxes is Taxing this Nanny

Hi everyone! I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I have been working for a family for 7 months. I've had my ups and downs with them, but I'm happy for the most part. I'm getting a semi generous salary. I feel horrible for not paying taxes and I want to do the right thing by paying them. I talked to an accountant who advised me how much to put away each week. I can't afford to put away what was advised without going into debt. I'm afraid that if I ask the parents for a raise to cover the taxes, they'll say no, and I'll lose my job. They can certainly afford it, but they're the type of family who won't spare the money unless they absolutely have to. I don't have a contract btw. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks!! :-)

Most Often Asked Question...

1st Reader: Experienced nannies what do you wear to interviews? I want to look kid friendly, but since I tend to look about 10 years younger than my actual age, I want to look mature enough for the job.

2nd Reader: What do my fellow nannies wear on job interviews? Dressing up seems so formal, dressing down seems so... slouchy? What do you wear??